Episode 101: Hella Mega Flaming Hot
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Transcript
Time Crisis, back again. Jake and I reunite in Los Angeles and boy do we have a lot to cover.
Finally, there's news on the Flame and Hot Cheetos movie, the story of Richard Montanez.
All this, plus S.O.D. installation and the top hits of 1992, a very special year.
This is Time Crisis with Ezra King. B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Sport One.
They passed me by, all of those great romances
They were a threat to our belief, of my rightful chances
My picture clear, everything seemed so easy
And so I dealt to the blow, when a bus had to go
Now it's different, I want you to know
One of us is crying, one of us is lying
We were only there
Time Crisis back once again. A little bit stuffy. You think my voice sounds weird?
Post tour? I guess you're on tour, sort of.
Yeah, well, it's funny, that's a question I get a lot, people are like, "Oh is the tour over?"
Or like, "Are you on tour?" and it's like, "Man, this is the show that never ends."
What is it? "Welcome Back My Friend"?
Welcome back my friend, to the show that never ends
I should have said "Welcome Back My Friend, to the show that never ends."
Wait, who is that?
ELO? No, no, no, ELP.
Good call, yeah, definitely not ELO. That's like the big ELP hit.
Along with "Ooooh, what a lucky man"
Great song. Yeah, lucky man's song.
Wee-do-do-wee-do-wee-do-wee
That was a classic Q104.3 jam.
Classic rock radio.
Wait, did you listen to Classic Q in Connecticut?
No, we didn't get that. We had our own Connecticut classic rock stations.
I-95, Danbury's, Classic Rock Radio, and then
Just like named after the highway?
No, because I-95 doesn't go through Danbury. It's weird.
But I-95 goes through Connecticut.
Oh yeah, it goes along, they're like Southern Connecticut.
But I-84 goes through Danbury.
Never quite got a handle on why Danbury's Classic Rock Station was I-95.
Was it because it's like W-H-X-I?
Something like that.
95.7?
95.1. W-H-G-I, Danbury's Classic Rock.
And then we had W-P-L-R out of New Haven.
Oh, so you got two Classic Rock?
We had two, dude.
That explains a lot.
Jake's just getting slammed by two Classic Rock Radio stations.
Getting Eddie money on this station, getting Eddie money on the other station.
R.I.P.
R.I.P., man.
Yeah, it's funny because I only had one Classic Rock Radio station, Classic Q104.3.
And looking back on it, it was fairly idiosyncratic.
I felt like one of the songs they played the most was Jessica by the Allman Brothers, the instrumental.
Yep.
[singing]
Great one.
Played that a ton.
Not that much Led Zeppelin.
Really?
I think we've had this conversation before.
They've thrown Billy Joel, where I have this feeling that a Classic Rock Radio station in Florida
is not going to be dropping New York State of Mind ever.
Right.
That's some regional love.
Who needs a house out in Hackensack?
[singing]
Billy's super regional.
Yeah, I feel like it's a classic.
It's just like, "Oh, so yeah, is the tour over? Are you done?"
Right.
It'll just be like, "This leg of the North American tour has ended?"
But the Father of the Bride cycle continues well into 2020.
Oh, just announced some 2020 dates.
Saw that.
Not that long ago.
Some secondary and tertiary markets.
Looks great, man.
I'm pretty psyched for your inner Pacific Northwest mountain region tour starting in Bend.
Oh, yeah, you got to come tailgate those shows, man.
You're starting in Bend, and then I think you're--
Hop on the bus.
Where else are you going?
I think--
Wait, let me look it up.
Missoula.
Calgary.
Yep.
Great part of the country.
I remember being on some tour that I feel like started in Calgary and went down into--
maybe ended up in Denver or something, and I just remember being like, "Wow,
that's the longest I've ever spent in mountain time."
Great time zone.
Spent a lot of time in Eastern time.
Sure.
A lot of Pacific time.
It's also the only one with a cool name.
Yeah.
It's interesting how it's like there's no rhyme or reason.
I guess in a real dystopian universe, they would have been called Zone 1, Zone 2,
Zone 3, and Zone 4.
That's like in the Hunger Games.
Totally.
So Eastern time, that's where we're from.
Yeah.
But it's not Atlantic time.
That would be kind of-- have a little more flavor.
On the two sides of the country, you have Pacific time, which is kind of cool,
and then you have Eastern time.
Should have been Atlantic time.
I would just rethought that one.
And then you have Central time.
That's pretty bland.
That's a real bland.
Imagine if that was called Heartland time.
Heart time.
Heartbeat.
Yeah, that one, like they don't even use time.
That one's just called heartbeat.
That's kind of like a radio station.
Yeah, the heartbeat of America.
It is 1 p.m. in the heartbeat of America.
Yeah, Eastern time is the big dog.
Big dog, heartbeat, mountain time can stay because that's a good one.
Yeah.
And then golden time.
Yeah, but mountain time is definitely the most interesting of the American time zones.
And I'm sure somebody's going to be like, "Well, what about like the Hawaii time zone?"
All right, I'm talking about continental US.
Lower 48.
You're talking lower 48.
That's a tight name for something.
Lower 48.
I was thinking mountain time would be a good song title.
For Mountain Bruce.
Absolutely.
I wonder what the-- I guess is Denver the biggest city in mountain time?
Might be.
Phoenix.
Is Phoenix mountain time?
I think it is.
Yeah, Arizona native is-- well, yeah, because it's not the same as LA, right?
Oh, yeah, it's got to be mountain time.
Yeah, Phoenix is the biggest city in mountain time.
Phoenix, very flat city.
Great number crunching over there.
Thank you, Seinfeld.
Yeah, I just looked it up for you guys.
Yeah, that's interesting to think somebody down in Phoenix, a notoriously flat city,
are they identifying with mountain time?
Right, but I feel like they're surrounded by mountains.
Yeah, there are mountains in Arizona.
So what's that leg though?
You're doing Bend?
Oh, you're doing Boise, I think.
Oh, yeah, I haven't been there in a while.
What's the venue in Boise?
Do you know?
The only two venues that when I think of Boise, I think of Neurolux.
Have you played there?
Oh, yeah, definitely back in the day.
I played there with Dirty Projectors.
Oh, yeah, I was there.
Hold on.
I got to go to vampireweekend.com to--
Like a seated auditorium in Boise.
Yeah, my feeling was we talked about what we could do this year.
And it's tough because there's definitely some big cities where the tickets went really fast.
It just felt like, you know what, we'll be back sooner rather than later, next album.
But it seemed cooler just to hit new spots.
Let's see.
Boise, we're playing the Ford Idaho Center Amphitheater.
Missoula, Montana, Kettle House Amphitheater.
I've heard very good things about the Kettle House Amphitheater.
So these are outdoor seated, kind of like a Libby Bowl.
Yeah.
Oh, these ones are next summer.
But that's the way of now.
You just put all your tickets up at the same time, let people know.
So people are buying tickets for a show that's like 10 months from now?
Yeah, I guess that's kind of the vibe now is like the--
Because even this year, I think it was smart.
Touring people were just like--they planned the whole year out and they were like,
"Let's just put all the tickets on sale together."
And you could probably get in one school and be like, "Yeah, isn't it more exciting if you wait a little bit to announce the next?"
And they're just like, "Just put them all up at the same time."
You know, they'll do their thing at different rates.
Because when I think about it, we put up the tickets kind of as soon as we were back.
So some of the shows were like four months away.
And then shows like the Garden or the Hollywood Bowl were like seven or eight months away.
That way you let the hardcore fans have like--they can get the tickets really quick.
Actually, there's a big tour for next summer that was just announced.
Are you aware of this?
Give me a hint.
Three bands more or less associated with pop punk.
Is it Weezer, Green Day?
Yeah, who else?
Blink?
No.
I wonder how Blink feels about this actually.
They just started with Lil Wayne.
But another--Weezer, Green Day, and another like huge--
Is the third band as big as those bands?
The third band, I bet you don't know as much about.
They're bigger than Weezer, Green Day, hard to say.
I don't think you're going to guess.
It's Fallout Boy.
Oh, yeah. That's after my time.
You're trying to get Pete Wince on the show for a minute.
He said he was down. I'm going to reach out to him again.
It's a stadium tour. Going big.
The Hella Mega Tour.
It's called the Hella Mega Tour.
Good title.
So that's going to go Fallout Boy, Weezer, Green Day?
That's the order of events?
Yeah. Weezer first to three.
Well, actually, there's a--
Not if I'm booking it.
There's a Scott Punk band called The Interrupters
who I've been following for a minute as a Scott Punk enthusiast.
That's cool.
They're technically first to four, but the way it's spelled is like,
"Green Day, Fallout Boy, Weezer, with special guest The Interrupters."
So, you know, they're kind of--they're kicking things off, but that's different.
So of the big three, Weezer is the lowest ranked.
I don't know one Fallout Boy song, but that's just my--
You don't know--
♪ We're going down, down, and around ♪
♪ Sugar me, coming down swinging ♪
Put it on.
♪ I'll be your number one with a bullet ♪
I don't know it, man.
We've listened to them on this show, too.
Like, they basically started as like a very--
When was their heyday? Like early 2000s?
I think their heyday was early 2000s,
and then they kind of broke up or took a beat
and then came back with like full-on, like pumped-up stadium rock pop kind of stuff.
This is like their early beloved song.
♪
Oh, it's heavy.
Well, yeah.
Oh, no.
But then it's pop punk kind of chord.
Yeah.
♪
♪ Am I more than you bargained for yet? ♪
♪ I've been dying to tell you anything ♪
♪ You already hear 'cause that's just who I am this week ♪
♪ I lie in the grass next to the mausoleum ♪
They've got good lyrics.
♪ Lying in the grass next to the mausoleum ♪
This could totally be a GBV song in a different universe.
♪ ...and break our name ♪
♪ We're sleeping in the sleeping for the road team ♪
♪ We're going down, down in the river ♪
Wait, what were the lyrics?
Wait, Seinfeld, look up the lyrics to "Sugar, We're Going Down."
It starts with, "Am I more than you bargained for yet?
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
'cause that's just who I am this week
I lie in the grass next to the mausoleum."
You like that?
Yeah.
♪ Lying in the grass next to the mausoleum ♪
I think Pete Wentz writes the lyrics.
He's the bassist, not the singer.
Oh, wow, okay.
Kind of like a Who situation.
He's the Pete Townsend/Nwhistle.
They were known for having very long song titles and stuff.
Oh, wow.
They paved the way for Panic! at the Disco,
who you're probably a little more familiar with.
Actually, I'm not.
Well, but you know that one song.
I can actually hear a little GBV in there for sure,
and certainly some Weezer.
Oh, man, we got to get Wentz on the show and just be like,
"Dude, GBV."
GBV, Weezer.
Oh, sure, Weezer.
But there's no way that Pete Wentz doesn't know
who Guy to Buy Voices is.
To what extent he's a fan, I have no idea.
He knows his [bleep] He's up on stuff.
It might be just like a micro-generation thing.
Yeah.
Then they came back kind of like turbo-charged,
like with just--
What year is this?
This is like a couple years ago.
This is like their big comeback.
♪ Some legends are told ♪
♪ Some turn to dust or to gold ♪
♪ But you will remember me ♪
♪ Remember me for centuries ♪
So the singer is just like the singer.
Yeah, his name is Patrick Stump.
Cool name.
Pat Stump.
Yeah, why is he not Pat Stump?
Yeah, because Patrick Stump went solo for a minute.
He went solo, and then they reunited.
I saw a band last night where the singer is only the singer.
What band?
The Zombies.
Oh.
Yeah, what's the story with the Zombies?
I went to the Greek theater with friend of the show,
Daniel Ralston.
Oh, right, right.
And the Zombies played the Odyssey and Oracle in sequence.
Whoa.
It was so tight.
But Daniel was telling me that they broke up right after that record was released
in like '68 or '69.
Yeah.
And then--what's his name?
Colin Blundstone, the singer?
Yeah, and then there's Rod Argent.
Yeah, Rod Argent was the keyboard player who I think wrote a lot of the material.
And then he started a band called Argent.
Right.
♪ Hold your head up ♪
But Colin apparently was just the singer,
and then when the band broke up, worked as an accountant for five years.
Whoa.
Into the mid-'70s.
It was just out.
But these guys were all in their mid-'70s.
It was like Rod Argent, Colin, this guy Chris White, I think his name is,
who's the original bass player, who looked like Donald Rumsfeld.
Yeah.
Just like these guys in their '70s.
Yeah.
And he's wearing kind of like a suit that was a little too big for him.
Yeah.
It was a cool vibe.
And then they had like another like five or six people on stage
just doing it note for note.
Right, you need a lot of people on stage to perform that whole album.
It was so tight.
And then Brian Wilson played, and that was rough.
Rough stuff?
Yeah.
Rough stuff, folks?
Yeah.
♪ Rough stuff ♪
Wait, because there was a double bill, or he was a surprise guest?
No, double bill.
Zombies opened.
Oh, yeah.
They opened for Arcade Fire at the Greek last year, I think.
I think Daniel went to that, too, because he wrote a story.
Have you heard that story about the fake zombies?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, no, I've heard about it from him.
Yeah, so he knows the upper management of zombies.
What was the Brian Wilson set list like?
Okay, here's the cool thing about it.
It was all stuff off of Surf's Up and Friends.
Did he play the song Surf's Up?
Yes, they played Surf's Up.
I would say they played Surf's Up.
I mean, Brian was very checked out.
It was truly like Daniel's girlfriend was basically like,
"This seems like borderline elder abuse."
He was just kind of sitting there in the middle of the stage,
and then he would just be kind of like padding his hair
to make sure it was still parted correctly.
It was super intense and kind of dark.
♪ Hand in hand, sun grown, the long walk ♪
♪ To a handsome man in the dark ♪
People don't know the album Surf's Up.
It is kind of dark, and the album cover is so intense and weird.
Yeah, that weird Don Quixote.
Yeah.
♪ I've been in the bedroom alone ♪
Yeah, I mean, Brian would sing like a few phrases
every few songs, and then there was a guy like in his 40s
that was like holding a tambourine and standing
and doing all of these parts.
Yeah.
And then Brian was just like sitting there
like kind of staring up into the sky for most of it.
It was weird, man.
♪ Humble, they're overtaking me ♪
♪ Dim shadow, they're awaking me ♪
♪ To a song that's off at the door ♪
It was an amazing set list, but it was a weird vibe.
Did I ever talk on the show about when I used to go to that diner
and see Brian Wilson all the time?
No, you told me off mic, but I would love to--
I don't think I've talked about it, but in early days
when I'd come stay in L.A. for like a week or two,
I would stay up at a neighborhood some people call Beverly Glen,
which is like kind of west side L.A. up in the hills.
And that part of up in the hills, it's like so high up.
When you're up by Mulholland, you really feel like
you're at the top of a mountain.
I think I've told you how I'd go up to the door of the house
and there'd be like a full-on giant buck,
and I'd hear "bound down the driveway,"
and I'd just be like, "Oh, my God, if that thing hit a person,
they'd die instantly," you know, like a 1,200-pound animal.
But anyway, so you're up there.
You're right up at kind of the peak of the mountain
up by Mulholland, and up there, it's almost entirely residential,
except there's this one little shopping area
that I think is called like the Beverly Glen Shops or something.
It's one little mini mall up in the hills,
because otherwise for everything else, you have to go down the hill
either to the L.A. side or to the valley side.
So up there, there's this one kind of East Coast-ish, Jewish-ish
deli/diner called the Beverly Glen Deli,
and it's a funny place where I'd be up there kind of by myself,
and so I'd be like hilarious, like jump in the car for three minutes,
get to this place, and if I wanted to have breakfast or a cup of coffee
or something, I'd go to this spot.
And, you know, it has the charm a little bit
of kind of like a low-key East Coast deli,
but it's up in the hills surrounded by not only rich people,
but right by there, there's some of these gated communities.
That's always a funny vibe when you're in a rich neighborhood
and then you see the gated community, and you're just like, okay.
Layer upon layer.
Yeah, and there's this one gated community up there that's like--
I've been in there once or twice.
I'm pretty sure DJ Khaled lives in there, Rod Stewart.
It's just like, you know, true.
Heavy hitters. Heavy hitters.
I remember just being up there, and I'd be eating solo a lot.
You know, because it's that type of thing.
It's not like you're down in Silver Lake.
You just hit a bunch of people up like, oh, you want to come through?
You're up literally in Asgard. You know what I mean?
That's an MCU reference.
I didn't actually get it. I just kind of played along.
It's a Thor thing. It's a Thor thing.
Missed it.
So anyway, you're basically up in Asgard.
People can't just jump through the portal very easily to come link up with you.
So I'd be rolling solo to the deli a lot.
You know, I saw all sorts of funny people.
People like really hardcore music industry legends
that the listeners wouldn't know who they are.
You know, like some old school lawyer that I've heard about.
Just like they're on the phone.
You know, like a bagel. Papers all spread out.
So you'd recognize a legendary music industry lawyer from documentaries?
A little bit of that and, you know, just being in the game long enough
that people would point out these types to me.
One time I remember Jon Voight eating solo.
Booth or counter?
Booth. He was reading some right-wing book.
It was very on the nose.
But anyway, the real part of the story is that I might be eating breakfast there
three or four times a week over the course of a week.
So you were really regular there for a while.
Yeah, a week here or there.
And these people are super regulars.
So I would say minimum four times, maybe like six or seven times.
A lot of times I saw Brian Wilson come in and eat solo.
He must live near there.
And it was always really interesting because, like, you know, Jon Voight,
you look at him and you're just like, yeah, that's like a crotchety old dude
reading his book and having his coffee or whatever.
But Brian Wilson was different because--and I was always so curious about--
you know, obviously his life is filled with mystery
and people are like, you know, what's up with him?
I never saw that.
I saw a movie a few years ago that was like about--
Love and Mercy.
Love and Mercy. Did you see that?
Yeah, it was good.
It was good?
So people say, like, this doctor giving him all sorts of stuff that damaged--
who knows? Clearly he's had all sorts of struggles in his life.
So he would always come in the door by himself.
But I could tell. I was like, this is a dude who doesn't drive.
So clearly somebody was waiting outside.
He got dropped.
Yeah, he got dropped.
And then he would sit down.
He was such a regular that people would always come up to him and say like,
"Oh, hey, Brian, how are you doing?"
And I saw this--
Like they would talk to him like he was a child sort of?
Slightly.
Or just talking to like a sweet old person.
But I'm just saying they would go out of their way to be like,
"Oh, we know you. How are you?"
Whatever.
And I saw this many times because it's a small place.
It'd be like me, Jon Voight, and Brian Wilson just all sitting solo at the booth.
That's a solid crew.
Yeah, it was a tight crew.
Imagine one day I was just like, "Guys, every day we're in here sitting together.
We're all in showbiz.
Why don't we sit together?"
Let's just grab a booth.
Let's just grab a booth.
You guys probably knew each other back in the day.
What's up, man?
Jon, what are you reading there?
[laughter]
So I noticed with Brian Wilson just--
Yeah, the people would come up and just be like,
"Oh, hey, Brian, how are you doing today?"
And just like he would never engage, and he would just go like, "Breakfast burrito."
So, you know, obviously a legend.
I was always interested by how often he got a breakfast burrito,
but, you know, he'd speak kind of loudly.
It was interesting because I see these people kind of go up to him like,
"Oh, yeah, what's up?" and you just not really look at them and just always say the thing.
They'd bring it out, scarf it down, in and out in like 12 minutes.
Like you would just crush that burrito.
Yeah.
You know, I don't want to speculate too much on the man's life.
He's a legend, but it certainly got me curious about what does this dude--
You know, we love day to day.
I was like, "What is this dude's day to day life?"
And I guess also the reason that I bring it up is he's been through the ringer in his life,
so it doesn't shock me that maybe he's in this kind of state of mind where he's just like,
"You know what? Drop me off. Let me eat my breakfast burrito. No time for niceties."
Yeah.
Whatever. He's on his own trip. That's not weird.
I think the thing that struck me when I was like,
"Oh, but he still goes on tour and makes albums and stuff."
I was like, "That's interesting."
Yeah. I mean, I think, like I said at this show,
I mean, he must have someone that's just like holding his hand the whole step of the way,
like right till he sits down at the piano.
But he can play piano.
Well, you know how normally on a stage the piano is kind of set sideways so you can see the hands?
This was just sort of set at a 90 degree angle to the audience.
So you're looking straight at him?
You're looking at the back of the piano and you're looking at him.
I don't think he was...
It was truly like... It was sad.
It was truly almost like the final days of a third world dictator.
Like they wheel him out.
Yeah.
And there's like a teleprompter and it's just sort of was like... It was a bummer.
How old is he?
He's got to be in his 70s.
I guess it's the type of thing where obviously it's like a controversial subject.
You know, there's been a lot of speculation and talk about Richard Simmons.
People believe that he's the victim of elder abuse,
that maybe he's suffering from dementia or something like that,
and he's being kind of kept away and alive so that he can sign away some of his fortune
to family members or people who don't have his best interests at heart.
You know, it's really tricky when people get older and don't have all their faculties.
I mean, maybe Brian's having a great time.
It's very like very raw and like the decline of like every human that is in our future is like fully on stage.
It's not like... But they're playing this like fun, happy music.
There's a guy that's like completely checked out, sitting in the dead center of the stage,
literally just staring out into the sky.
It's really crazy.
But maybe he's having a great time and he's like, "I love this music. I love my band."
Yeah, I guess it's maybe that's the type of thing...
I don't know what's going on. It's a weird show, though.
Obviously, everybody gets older. You got to deal with different stuff.
There's probably a lot of people who just want to see people.
Yeah.
There's an epidemic of loneliness in this country, as we've discussed way back in the day,
especially with older people.
And, you know, they might just want to be around people.
And performing at the Greek theater, I wonder.
Yeah, I guess based on what you're describing, and I've never seen him live, I don't think...
That's the type of thing where you just want to know that even though he might be a little more checked out,
maybe that happens.
Yeah.
I'm just saying that, yeah, you want to think that somebody like is talking about it with him
and whatever his demeanor or like if his face doesn't express joy in the way that it did when he was 25,
that's normal, as long as he's basically like, "No, this is what I want to do."
Because if you feel like your life is defined by playing music and performing,
yeah, because he probably doesn't do interviews anymore, does he?
I have no idea.
I guess he did an interview in 2016 with Rolling Stone.
I wonder what that interview was, though.
That was like over email with his assistant or that was like actually a sit down.
I have something here from the Palm Springs Desert Sun from August of this year.
An interview?
With Brian Wilson, yeah, talking about touring with the zombies.
Oh, yeah?
It's a great night of music, folks.
He's just like, you know--
Our mortality was just on full display.
I always get some asshole in the crowd who's like, you know, nitpicking my vibe on stage.
Listen, like I'm an old dude.
I can't bring the energy like I used to, but I'm having a ball out there, guys.
I got to be honest.
I'm having the time of my life.
This is from that 2016 article.
A few days earlier, the singer-songwriter and founding Beach Boy celebrated his 74th birthday.
And when the subject comes up, his eyes widen.
It was the greatest birthday of my life, he says, uncrossing his arms.
We went to a place called Peter Luger's.
You got to go there.
You will f*cking love it.
I had the greatest steak dinner that I ever had in my whole life.
He dropped an F-bomb?
Yeah.
He waits a beat and raises his voice.
In my whole life.
Maybe he just lives for food and music now.
Loving those steaks, loving those breakfast burritos.
You know what?
I think...
Loving the late 60s Beach Boy stuff.
Yeah, I bet he's chilling.
Al Jardine was on stage with them.
Oh, that's tight.
It was funny because like, yeah, they were playing stuff off like Smile and...
Because yeah, they did Heroes and Villains and they were doing stuff off Surf's Up.
And that's like George Gershwin level sophisticated composition.
And then it'd be like, now we're doing an Al Jardine song.
And it's just like, I can't remember what they were.
But it's just like the funniest, just like garage rock, bar band garage rock.
Between those guys...
Going down to the beach and doing their stuff.
And I was like, that's like really kind of an old school band vibe.
Yeah.
Like there's like one or two geniuses.
And then there's like another guy or two that also write songs.
Well, that was like a recurring joke in Bohemian Rhapsody.
They would always kind of razz the drummer because they'd be like,
single from this album, it's got to be Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's like, it's opera.
It's our most ambitious work yet.
And then the joke in the movies, he's always like, what about my song, I Love My Car?
I don't know if that was like reflective of the actual dynamic in the band.
But they made that a joke that it was like Brian May and like obviously Freddie Mercury.
Just like this very sophisticated stuff.
And it's just like, I love my car.
It's a good rock tune, man.
Well, anyway, shout out to Brian Wilson.
I bet he's chilling.
I've been in this town so long that back in the city
I've been taken for lost and gone and unknown for a long, long time.
Well, in love years ago with an innocent girl
from the Spanish and Indian home of the heroes and villains.
Once a night the tapes ran dry and she was riding in the rain
of the folks that eventually brought her down.
But she's still dancing in the night anyway
of what a hero would do in a town full of heroes and villains.
Heroes and villains, just see what you've done.
Heroes and villains, just see what you've done.
I mean, we've been following this story for a long time.
I don't know if we've talked about it that much on air,
but I got a lot of texts, got a lot of emails from people
when the news broke to the mainstream
that the Richard Montanez biopic is happening.
I feel like we willed this into existence.
I kind of feel that way.
Tom Christmas is very influential.
By the way, you see how many people have been covering
Winter's Starbucks lately?
Yeah, it's crazy.
BBC, Fox News, CNN.
Seth Meyers.
Oh, Seth Meyers?
Yeah.
What, did he do a joke about it?
Yeah, he kind of ripped on Winter, but I think Winter was down.
Oh, no, the joke was a man's mission to visit every Starbucks in the world.
He finally reaches 15,000 Starbucks, and they finally spelled his name
right on his cup, and it's cut to this cup, and it said "Dork."
And Winter was like, "Oh, man, but you know what?
Respect coming from Seth Meyers," or something like that.
And then like--
Not cool, Seth.
Yeah, it's like, "Seth, come on, bro."
Yeah, [bleep] you.
Seinfeld.
Real talk.
Seinfeld is going hard on--
Cutting through all the noise with that one.
Should we try to get Seth Meyers on the show, hash this out?
I would love that.
Yeah, let's see Seth Meyers around here and there.
Yeah, I think I could get his email very quickly.
I'd like say, "Hey, man, so we'd love it if you'd come on."
He would just be like--
I bet he literally wouldn't know what we were talking about.
Yeah, he just read that joke.
Yeah, like I do 20 of those jokes a night.
What the [bleep] are you talking about?
He's a friend-- because we do a show, and Winter's like a kind of character
on our show.
You do a show, we do a show.
You got your kind of guys.
We got our guys.
Winter's one of our guys, man.
We just-- it didn't sit right with us.
She's like, "I have no idea."
The Starbucks joke.
Which Starbucks joke?
Obviously, Winter deserves all the credit.
He's the one who went to 15,000 Starbucks.
All I'm saying is that time crisis, we've been covering him since 2017
because we tell the stories that matter first.
One question is I wonder if any of those outlets did pick up on the story
via time crisis, chose not to give us credit.
Some, like, intern in the writer's room.
The TC head?
It was like, "Hey, I got an idea."
Who knows?
But whatever.
Winter deserves the credit for all the press.
All I'm saying is, as usual, we beat the lamestream media by years.
Well, Winter blasted out a press release.
Remember he was asking for our notes on it?
No, I missed that.
I missed that email.
I missed an email being like, "Hey, what are your thoughts on this press release?"
When was this?
Like a month ago.
Totally missed that.
Oops.
All right, we found one article that loops us in.
Very self-indulgent part of the show.
Looking for articles on the internet that reference our own show.
For the last 22 years, Winter has been the subject of many people's fascination.
In 2006, he was the star of a documentary called Starbucking by Bill Tangerman.
We've got to watch that.
I guess there was a full documentary a decade before we were on it, so we don't deserve too much credit.
Well, my first communication with him goes back to '03.
Okay.
Emailed in '03.
It's funny, because the next line of this, "News outlets have written articles about him since as early as 2002."
Oh, okay.
Well, somehow I found him, so.
A headline in the Palm Beach Post from 2007 reads, "Is he off his bean?"
Off his bean?
Disrespectful.
F*** you, Palm Beach Post.
Is that an expression?
It's like, "Off your rocker."
Well, definitely your bean referred to as your head is a thing.
Sure.
And recently he's been--
Don't push in it with that palm.
Yeah, right?
Recently he's been featured a few times on the podcast, "Time Crisis," hosted by Vampire Weekend frontman Ezra Kanick.
Okay, we need--
And American painter.
Yeah, what about American painter radio personality?
[Laughter]
As well as Twitter celebrity Seinfeld 2000.
Influencer.
Influencer, sorry, wrong term.
I'm an American musician and radio personality, Jake's an American painter and music personality.
Seinfeld is a Canadian influencer and radio personality.
Would it be Canadian-American or just Canadian?
Just Canadian.
Wait, are you Canadian-American?
No.
I mean, you live in America, so it's like--
Yeah, you're allowed to.
I feel American.
Don't buy into, like, outdated notions of citizenship, man.
Can we say North American?
Too vague.
North American influencer.
Oh, but you know, by the way, speaking of-- before we dive back into the Montaneas, you know I met Patrick World in Montreal?
Oh, yeah!
Yeah.
Yeah, he DMed us, and yeah, I put him in touch with your management, and I'm glad you guys had a chance to meet.
Shout out to Patrick World.
It was tight because two people from my high school, Pete and Celia, a couple from my town, Glen Ridge,
they're married now and they live in Vermont.
Are they a TC couple?
I don't remember if they said they listen to TC, but they came to see Vampire Weekend, and people from Vermont go see shows in Montreal a lot.
Yeah, close to city.
That can be their closest city.
Oh, yeah, we used to drive down, do some cross-border shopping, and then we saw--
In Vermont?
Yeah, we saw Louis Guzman once at Sweetwater when I was a kid.
In Vermont?
Yeah.
In, like, Montpelier or what city?
Burlington.
Okay.
So there's a nice cultural exchange between Burlington and Montreal.
Yeah, actually, Luis, who we knew from doing stuff for Bernie Sanders, came up too.
Oh, yeah.
A little Burlington crew.
And it was good to see them and just kind of catch up on our hometown and stuff.
But it's funny, you're backstage, and you see a bunch of people who are at the show, so you talk to some people, and somebody comes up, and you're like, "Oh, hey."
I guess this could happen at any type of gathering or party, but specifically at aftershows sometimes, especially if we have a part-weekend aftershow, it could be the
most random mix of people.
So suddenly, two people you're just talking to, they're kind of sitting there waiting.
So I'm just like, "Then that happened, and I'm talking to Patrick, and he's telling me we're catching up, and I'm thanking him for all the great work he's done for the
show and for supporting us."
And he's telling me more about his background.
He actually has a bit of a radio background.
Oh, okay.
That was cool.
Oh, one thing also he confirmed, he doesn't make the tracks.
Okay, he's not doing live drums on his cover of Boyz R Back in Town.
Oh, wow.
Which makes sense.
I'm like Weird Al Yankovic.
Does Al build from the ground up?
Al builds everything from the ground up.
He must.
Yeah, recreates everything.
Yeah, but we can't expect.
It's one of those funny things where I turn to them and say, "Oh, hey, guys. By the way, this is Patrick."
I'm like, "Hey."
And I was like, "So, yeah, in fact, I don't think they're TCS."
That's a lot of backstory.
I was like, "You know I do this radio show," and they're like, "Oh, okay."
And I was like, "So on the radio show, Patrick, I've never met him before, but he's a listener who will send us in parodies, songs based on..."
And they're just kind of like, "Okay."
Yeah, a lot of inside jokes from our show.
You know, Lonnie's dad, Lord Hadaway, things of that nature.
They look around and Patrick's nowhere to be seen.
No, I swear he was--
Yeah, he was just there.
No, but shout out to Patrick and his wife who came through.
Wow, it sounds like the East Coast is really like some big TC icons were in the mix.
Well, and then there was a Twitter exchange later where Winter and Patrick were making plans to link up.
Did you see that?
Oh, actually, I did. That is sick.
That's tight.
The TC world is-- it's really a family.
You know, the next step would be people starting to date, like TC fan community.
It's like, "Hey, anyone else a TC head? I'm looking to meet someone."
Wait, I told you how a while ago I got a bunch of old issues of Relics on eBay, like some '80s Relics.
Wow.
So, you know, Relics still exists. It's a great news source.
They did a big Vampire Weekend cover story this year.
I got to check that out.
Yeah, it was tight.
Yeah, I love talking to the journalist who also wrote or co-wrote Bill Kreutzman's memoirs.
Oh, that's sick.
But I remember looking through one of them, and there were, you know, like wan ads and personals in the back.
And they're literally-- I know this sounds like so kooky, but I wish I could say verbatim, but I remember seeing some--
so it might be everything from people being like looking to trade tapes, that kind of stuff.
But then I remember seeing some personal ads, and I remember they were like-- some were so hyper-specific, just like looking for ladies who are also deadheads.
And, like, some of them were so hyper-specific.
I remember a guy who's like looking for, like, a deadhead lady, you know, age, whatever, somebody who leans towards pre-'72 stuff.
That's important to me.
It was, like, literally like that kind of thing.
It's so deep.
I guess it's also possible that if this was the '80s-- I can't remember when this issue was.
Maybe he just wanted to make sure he wasn't getting a touch head.
Sure, sure.
Which are people who got on board with their breakout single "Touch of Gray."
In '87.
So, like, what years were these magazines you were buying?
Some of them were from the '80s.
Like late '80s, early '90s?
I'll bring some in.
Why did you get them? Just out of curiosity?
I mean, I've always been interested in relics.
It's like a magazine I would see around, but not '80s relics.
I would see it at best for me maybe in the late '90s.
And I think I would see-- I would just see, like, cool people, like some cool deadhead t-shirt people, like post-relics.
And I would see them post, like, their collection of vintage ones.
I was like, "Ooh, I want to see what's inside that 1985 relic."
That is so deep.
So I bought, like, three or four.
That's cool.
That I got for, like, decent prices.
Yeah.
Are they expensive, sort of?
I didn't find any, like, dirt cheap.
I got 100 relics.
Hey, if you take them off my hands for $10, I'm happy.
No, it's more like, you know, probably some of them cost, like, $10.
Okay, yeah.
It wasn't like-- Yeah, I wasn't dropping, like, $150 for a pristine copy.
But, you know, like--
Near mint.
Yeah.
But I'll bring them in because they're fascinating.
And also there's something nice about-- at that era, it's like in between a zine and a professional magazine.
There's, like, a handmade quality to some of the stuff inside.
But I also just, like, love thinking about this dude, just, like, mid-'80s.
Like, at first, I wonder what kind of responses he got.
And I'm also picturing somebody just like, "Hey, man, like, you know what?
I also live in Westchester, and I happen to see that I've been looking to meet a Deadhead, too."
And then, like, they link up, and he's just, like, immediately just, like, full douchebag, just, like, quizzing her.
Just like--
"So '74, how do you feel?"
Yeah.
Okay.
What's the best Mr. Charlie of '72?
And you can't say the one on Europe '72.
And she's like, "I don't know, man.
I like-- I like Touch of Grey.
I like Uncle John's Man."
He's just like, "Get the f--- out of here."
"This is not going to work."
"I'm looking for happiness.
Can't you tell?"
Yeah.
She's just, like, beautiful, hippie chick.
Yeah, just somewhat familiar.
"Oh, no, I haven't heard that.
No, I'd love to learn more about some of, like, the '74 bootlegs."
And he's like, "Well, get back to me when you do."
"You wasted both of our time."
Anyway, the TC personals wouldn't be like that.
Colin just showed me something.
Where was it?
It was on Reddit.
Wait, is it on the TC Reddit?
The TC Reddit, which I never look at, but--
Oh, yeah, is the TC Reddit popping?
Oh, nice.
Subject had New York-based TC heads.
"Hey, I'm visiting New York for work October 6 to 8
and wondering if any TC heads wanted to get a drink.
I'm 25, into corporate food history, jam bands,
and visiting Starbucks."
Response, "Suburban New Yorker here.
Let's get a coffee."
Oh, that's sick.
That's sweet.
Wait, what--it was a 25-year-old man?
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, there's no--
It's kind of post-gender, just like--
This is about the show.
Oh, this is just about linking up.
Yeah, it's not a dating inquiry.
Yeah, you know, maybe that's better, too.
It's like people bring too much energy and expectation
to romantic relationships.
Well, that's how something could really happen, though.
It's like two TC heads.
They're just there to talk about the show, maybe connect.
And then, you know, one thing leads to another, maybe.
Right.
And then, when, like, hey, we're just talking about the show,
no presh.
Yeah, it's just a meetup.
There was one time earlier this year,
I believe it was after our Cincinnati show,
a young woman DMed me on Instagram and said, like,
"Listen, I was sitting next to this guy at the show,
and we really hit it off, and we were talking about
this, this, and this."
Yeah, we had good sense--
They might have been TC heads.
I don't remember, but they were like--
We were, like, joking around.
"I'm a medical student at the University of Cincinnati,
blah, blah, blah.
I really regret that I didn't ask for his number.
I was, like, being too shy or something.
Can you help me out?"
And then I was like, "I mean, I guess."
Yeah, what do you do?
I was like, "If you can, like, condense this into one post,
I'll throw it on my IG stories."
So she made, like, a pretty well-designed little, like,
"Hey, what's up?"
You know, she was using, like, Futura and stuff.
Yeah, Miss Connection, Cincinnati show.
And I posted it, and I got a lot of response.
It was really sweet.
I would feel like, in this day and age,
somebody--it wouldn't be that hard to figure out.
I wonder if they ever linked up.
Yeah.
Kind of feel like if they had,
then you would have gotten, like, a follow-up from her.
A wedding invitation.
But I agree.
Whatever. Romantic relationships.
I was expecting.
[laughter]
TC, baby.
I'm just going deep on the subreddit.
Did you know that during the Apple iPhone release,
there was an Apple Watch video
with a VO by Michael Cera with "Sympathy" as the backing?
Oh, yeah, of course.
Wild. I missed that.
Yeah, unrelated to time crisis.
I got--there was, like, some message on Twitter that was like,
"Is that part of your time crisis deal?"
And I was like, "How dare you?"
[laughter]
These are independent branches of the organization.
Yeah, "Sympathy" is in an Apple Watch commercial.
That's so modern.
I haven't seen it in full.
And I didn't know that Michael Cera
was going to do the voiceover, but that's tight.
Yeah, I think it premiered at the keynote,
but I don't know if it's on TV yet.
Yeah, I can't find it anywhere.
Anyway, check it out.
Seinfeld's down the rabbit hole in that Reddit.
Yeah, I got to close this window.
Yeah, I can see, like, your eyes are glazing over.
You need to get out of there.
Reddit--that's the Reddit, you know, it just sucks you in.
Suddenly it's nighttime.
You're just on Reddit all day.
Master thread for determining Seinfeld 2000's address.
[laughter]
Um, I wonder if there's any, like, TC loyalists
who, like, still see you as a villain.
'Cause when you first came on the show,
you were definitely a bit of a villain.
Yeah, people are confused by that narrative.
What, that's, like, that's one of the most classic narratives
of all time--foe becomes friend?
It's true.
It was a character evolution.
It was some pro wrestling [bleep]
That's right.
Eventually, though, there's going to be the fallout.
There could be the fallout.
Seinfeld gets banished.
Yeah, we should create more storylines for this show.
We just bring in just, like, some real--
just some real dweeb who's just, like,
world's biggest Friends fan.
[laughter]
I am interested in hearing about how the Rembrandts
feel about the 25th anniversary of Friends,
which is now, right?
Anyway, why am I--why am I talking about this?
You're kind of excited.
I mean, at a certain point, old rivalries,
they kind of collapse.
You know, it's kind of like when you're talking about,
like, imagine two 85-year-olds
fought on opposing sides of a war.
They both make it to 85.
They're sitting at a cafe.
They've both seen the way that time ravages everybody--
the winners, the losers.
They both have lost so many people.
They're both the last men standing from their platoon.
They look at each other, former enemies,
and they're just kind of like,
"Hey, man, let me buy you that cup of coffee.
I hated your guts. I want to kill you."
But now we're--I mean, it's real sh--.
Actually, it's very moving.
I've spoken highly of the Ken Burns Vietnam doc.
You ever crack that, Jake?
Didn't get through it.
It's awesome.
The beginning's tough.
The beginning's tough.
That's on me.
It's a major investment in the beginning,
but when you get to the end, they talk, too,
about, like, a lot of these American soldiers
who were so young, you know?
These were very young adults when they rolled over there.
Some of them who probably drank the Kool-Aid
or believed they were fighting a necessary battle
have a lot of questions later,
and they talk about how some of these dudes
roll back to Vietnam just like--
it's haunted them their whole lives,
you know, PTSD, whatever.
And they talk about that there's, like--
a not uncommon thing is that, like,
Northern Vietnamese soldiers and North Vietnamese won,
so the whole country is--
they're returning to the country
where the victors beat the U.S.
And now some of these American soldiers
will go kind of, like, link up with dudes
who are on the opposing side,
and there is this, like, weird--
- Wow. - Shared camaraderie
of kind of, like--
I don't think the Northern Vietnamese soldiers
are like, "You know what, man?"
- "Water under the bridge." - "Water under the bridge."
You know, U.S. imperialism, capitalism,
it's all the same. - It's all good, man.
- But I do think there is some--
that there is some weird shared thing
where they're just kind of like,
"We were both on-the-ground soldiers
"in a larger thing.
"I don't hate you.
"We both shared a traumatic experience.
"Probably not forgiving the U.S. as an entity."
- Oh, yeah, like, we were both cannon fodder.
- Yeah, and even some of these guys
probably, like, realizing the way that
their worldview was morphed by the--
you know, so anyway,
it's like this kind of moving thing
where, like, some of these dudes
who probably wouldn't have dreamed of it,
you know, are there,
and it feels, like, cathartic to them
to be like, "We were both victims of violence."
Actually, now I just remember what we were talking about.
- Yeah, this is me defending--
- This is like a bad TC rabbit hole
where I actually jumped to something way too deep,
and now it's actually insulting to go back
to what we were originally talking about,
which is friends versus Seinfeld.
Oops.
Apologies, but I'm saying that, you know,
I think time collapses everything,
and when I picture, like, the old heads--
I've given this example before in Keith Richards' book,
how he talks about he and Paul McCartney
staying on the same Caribbean island,
like, staying in two villas next to each other,
and just kind of, like, hitting him up,
just like, "Yo, man, you want to, like, go for a walk?"
And he's like, "Me and Paul just walked on the beach,
and we just talked about the old days, man."
And obviously, the Beatles versus the Stones
is not the same intensity as--
- Friends versus Seinfeld.
- Friends versus Seinfeld,
let alone North Vietnam versus the U.S.,
but the way he talked about it was kind of just like,
"We used to be competitive."
I don't know if he quite says it,
but you can imagine Keith Richards probably thought,
McCartney was a bit of a cornball.
- Mm-hmm.
- Keith Richards was the badass of the badass crew,
and Paul McCartney was kind of, like,
the sweetheart of, like, the sweet crew,
so, you know, they're--
in many ways, they're diametric opposites.
But the way he frames it is a little bit just like,
"Yeah, two grizzled soldiers, we're both still standing,
and actually, we have more in common with each other
because we remember.
We remember the past. We've seen good men die.
John Lennon, George Harrison,
Brian Jones."
So there's, like, this slight--
- Mm-hmm.
- Actually, I should go back to that passage.
I wonder if he uses any soldier imagery.
But we had this feeling of just kind of, like,
the fact that we're both still standing
and that we both even remember this battle
or this time period
unites us in a way that even, like,
our children couldn't understand.
So anyway, I think that's starting to happen
with Seinfeld 2000, where--
- No, no, no.
- You've been fighting this battle for so long
that one day--
and, look, now you even see, like,
"Friends" is getting canceled.
- No--what?
- "Friends" is the most popular show on Netflix.
I just thought there was some kind of clickbait article
that was, like, why "Friends" is actually trash.
- Yeah, it's been-- there's been a backlash.
A lot of think pieces about the 25th anniversary
and how, you know, we're rethinking "Friends"
and all the rest of it.
I mean, we all already--
a lot of us knew that "Friends" was trash
from the jump.
- Yeah, but people do that with "Seinfeld" too.
- Well, no, they don't at all.
- "Seinfeld" got more heat earlier,
maybe because "Seinfeld"--
"Seinfeld" was a bigger target, maybe,
because it actually existed in this more intelligent circle.
- Why did people say "Seinfeld" was trash?
- I just think, like, to some people,
represent, like--well, people talked about, like,
"Seinfeld" being very white.
- Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, and it's--you know, Larry David
references it a lot on "Curb Your Enthusiasm,"
and--anyway.
- All I'm saying is that... - Jesus Christ.
- I bet there's a part of you that sees, you know,
"Friends" backlash, and you're just kind of like,
"Man, the end of the day,
we're both fighting a forgotten war
for NBC's must-see TV mid-'90s block."
- I do not feel that way at all.
- And I can just kind of--okay. - No.
- I just think--no, you're not there yet,
but I'm picturing, like, in 20 years.
- No, I'll never be there.
- We're sitting here, and you have, like--
it's, like, really retro and cool to be into "Riverdale."
- [laughs]
- It's like young kids are like,
"Oh, yeah, like, I'm into 'Riverdale.'"
Somebody's like, "What about, like, 'Friends' and 'Seinfeld'?"
And they're just like,
"I don't even know what the [bleep] you're talking about."
And you'll look at, like, some "Friends" fanatic,
and he'll look at you, and you'll just be like,
"We're just two forgotten soldiers in a war
that these kids don't even care about anymore."
- Well, you know, if they bring "Seinfeld" back,
we wouldn't even have to have that conversation,
and that's a mission I'm still kind of dedicated to.
So we'll see.
- I have a feeling that "Friends" will come back
before "Seinfeld."
- ♪ Said no one told you life was gonna be this way ♪
♪ Your job's a joke, you're broke ♪
♪ Your love life's the other way ♪
♪ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ♪
♪ When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month ♪
♪ Or even your year ♪
♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
- "Time Crisis" with Ezra Koenig on Beats 1.
- So "Evil Longoria" with this "Flaming Hot Cheetos" film.
- Okay, anyway-- - It's pretty--pretty cool.
- So we've been talking about Richard Montanez for a minute,
and because I follow him on Instagram,
I've known that he's been working on developing a film
for a long time--years.
Last time I checked, his account is private,
so you have to be accepted into the inner circle
to get to follow him,
but he's always been very open about the fact, like,
"Oh, yeah, I was in L.A. doing a meeting.
Looks like things are gonna happen."
And now finally, it reaches the mainstream
with the announcement that "Evil Longoria"
is gonna direct it.
One thing I'd like to say is we've tried to get
Montanez on the show many times,
so Seinfeld, you kind of spearheaded that initiative.
How'd you fuck that one up?
- Oh, well, no, I didn't-- - What happened?
- I didn't fuck it. I made a valiant effort to--
- You had one job.
- Uh, well, listen, Montanez does not want to be
on this show, straight up. Let's just say that.
He was doing--he was speaking at some sort of corporate event,
and I went through the promoters,
and I went through the thing, and it came--
you know, it went back to him,
and it was just a note from him,
and I think we've also been trying to go through--
- But did you say it was time crisis with Ezra and Jake?
- Yeah, I led with-- I did the whole thing.
I said, you know, you can-- - But did you start out saying,
"Hey, I'm Seinfeld 2000."
Maybe they were just like, "Eh."
- No, no, no, I did it, like, as my real--
like, I used my real name.
- He's probably like, "Oh, yeah, Seinfeld 2000.
I don't like that guy." - No, no, no, everybody loves--
- He caused a lot of trouble in the early days of TC.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It's a beloved-- it's a beloved internet presence
that really everybody wants to be tapped into.
But, uh, no, he--
I think that he was actually just saving the IP
for this film. That's my theory.
He's like, "I'm not gonna do interviews.
I'm not gonna do press.
Let's have Eva Longoria handle this story with the tender."
- Or to be fair, to be fair, maybe he's like--
he gets paid to fly around the world to tell his story.
He goes to colleges.
He gives kind of inspirational talks at corporations.
Maybe his vibe is like, "I don't need to do press per se.
I'm out there telling my story, and I'm being rewarded for it."
So I could imagine, you know, he's talking at a college
or something, he's getting his speaker's fee,
and we're like, "You want to just come do some press?"
He's like, "Why?"
- Right, yeah, and I think he knows that you're kind of like,
uh, I don't know, like, maybe you'll make fun of him.
Like, maybe this isn't a safe space for--
- I don't make fun of people.
- Well, not make fun of-- but he knows that you're like--
- He knows that I associate with people like a Seinfeld 2000,
kind of mean-spirited, kind of snarky.
- No, there's nothing-- no, no, no, no.
Like, um, what I'm saying is that maybe he's heard
some of the show, and he thinks, "Well, this is
a little tongue-in-cheek maybe about the craft of, um,
these Cheetos, which I've devoted my life to,
and I don't want this Ezra guy--
- Right, he hears us talking about Frito-Lay Corporation,
and he's like, "I don't know what to make of this."
- Maybe.
- He heard the Donald Kendall segment.
- Maybe he's heard our-- yeah, your takes on Brad's drink
and whatnot, and just, "I don't want this Ezra
ripping into my--my--"
- Although, I will say one thing.
Sorry to brag.
Forgive me, Lord, but I'm about to brag.
- Is this gonna be a humble brag or, like, a full-on brag?
- This is a full-on brag.
Lord, forgive me, but I'm going back to the old me.
I tried to tame my ego,
but sometimes I can't keep it in check.
- Oh, my God.
- Lord, forgive me. Here we go.
So I followed him for a long time,
even when he was private,
and you needed him to personally approve you.
- He still is private. - Oh, he still is private.
- With 63,000 followers.
- Wow. - What a piece of [bleep]
- What? - No, no.
No, no, I mean, like, not--not really.
- Do you think he's personally going through and, like, okaying?
- Absolutely.
- I take that back, Richard. That was--
- See, Seinfeld, you're--man.
- I'm still-- - So, anyway, here's my brag.
- Cut that. - Here's my brag.
- Seinfeld's going--I mean-- - See, you know what--
- Episode 101 starts the decline of Seinfeld.
- Yeah. - We're slowly building the story.
- Right. - By episode 120, he's off the show.
- Making a lot of edibies.
- From episode 9 to 100, Seinfeld was rehabilitated,
brought back into the fold.
From 101 to 150...
- A dark spiral.
- One of the most precipitous falls from grace
ever recorded on an Internet radio show.
- Seth Meyers, if you're listening,
I was also joking earlier
when I told you to go [bleep] yourself.
- Episode 101 to 150 is called
"The Rise of Winter and the Fall of Seinfeld."
- People thought I was Winter at MSG.
They were like, "Yo, Winter!"
- Really? - Yeah, I'm like, "Come on."
Anyway. [laughter]
- You guys could be, like, cousins.
Oh, I was about to brag.
"One Time."
And this is also--you know what's funny about this, too?
Is it's like, Richard Montanez reminds me of Jay-Z.
I've spoken on the show about how Jay-Z does this thing
where he maintains this kind of, like,
you know, very mysterious, like,
is this guy tucked away, and then he'll do things
just to remind people, "I've always got my ear to the ground.
I know what's going on."
I've heard a lot of stories like that.
You know, and they're all pretty mild things.
Nothing crazy, but just, like, that people--
you know, 'cause people probably wonder with a guy like Jay-Z.
I mean, for all we know, he's an incredibly wealthy guy.
For all we know, he's, like, semi-retired.
But then he'll, like, always let people know, like,
"Oh, no, I noticed what you said.
I noticed what you're doing.
Um, I'm up on stuff."
And there's some about Richard Montanez where I was kind of like,
"All right, this guy doesn't give a [bleep] about TC."
He probably just thought I was like, "What is this?
I don't know who Vampire Weekend is.
Seinfeld 2000 sounds like a real weirdo."
I don't want to--I wouldn't touch this in a 10-foot pole.
- I think he thought that about you.
- So then I follow him, and I'm just one of his many followers.
And I was kind of like, "This guy's too busy.
He's a major corporate figure, you know?
Like, what does he care about this stuff?"
And then out of nowhere, I posted an old picture.
It probably was Father's Day.
I posted this old black-and-white photo
of me and my dad.
I'm a baby.
My dad's, like, young mid-30s
in our apartment in New York.
A little while after that, just out of nowhere,
I get a comment on it
from Hot Cheetos RPM,
Richard Montanez,
and just said, "Cool pic."
- [laughs] - Wow.
- And I was like, "Whoa."
It felt like a very--it was a very Jay-Z-esque move,
just to be, like, you're all in your head,
like, "This person even--"
And then just, like, this kind of very mysterious, like,
"Oh, hey, I got my eye on you."
So, of course, I was thrilled,
and I was like, "Whatever,"
but, you know, interesting.
- So he follows you back?
- I--wait, how do you know if somebody follows you back?
- So you got to look at their followers,
then you got to type your own handle
into their list of followers
and then they're following you.
- What?
- So you go to their, like, number, like,
"Richard Montanez is following 400 people," whatever,
then it goes to a list. - I feel like I probably--
- Oh, yeah, yeah, the list. - There's, like, a search bar.
- He's only following 373 people.
- I was close. - No, he doesn't follow me.
- Well, then how the hell did he end up--
- He was just--maybe he was just poking around.
Maybe he saw me liking his pics.
- He might have popped up on the Explorer.
- And you have, like, a blue check verified thing.
- Yeah, so maybe he was like, "Who is this dude?"
And, like, that picture wasn't even new at the time.
- He might have been on the Explorer page.
- Maybe. - You're swiping around
on the Explorer.
- Anyway, shout-out to Richard Montanez.
Um, I can't wait for this movie.
Maybe we should see if we get Eva Longoria to call in.
- I think he could have really seized the opportunity
to respond to his comment, being like,
"Hey, man, you come on 'The Time Crisis'?
"Like, we've been trying so hard. Seinfeld's been doing
"everything he can." You know,
that would have been the moment to really...
- "Hey, man, I'd love to.
"I don't like that Seinfeld guy."
[laughter] - He's a friends guy.
- So anyway, the film
tells the story of his life.
The script will be written by Louis Kallek,
who wrote "October Sky," "Domestic Disturbance,"
and "Charlie St. Cloud."
Longoria's directed episodes of shows like
"Jane the Virgin," "Black-ish," and "Grand Hotel,"
and she beat out multiple directors for the job
with her authentic approach to portraying
the inspiring story of Richard and Judy Montanez.
I don't know that much about Judy.
Is that his wife?
- Probably. - Assuming so.
- I wonder what it's gonna be called.
Is it gonna be a Hot Cheeto pun?
- It's called "Flamin' Hot." - For real?
- Yeah. - I'm still curious
to see where the movie goes after the
invention of...
the
"Flamin' Hot Cheeto." Like,
there'll be a big buildup of, like, he's
invented the Cheeto, but he's just trying to get the
Cheeto across the desk
of, like, the higher-ups at Frito-Lay.
There's probably gonna be a lot of scenes
of, like, "You're just a janitor."
- Right. Well, yeah, I wonder
is, like, him... does he invent
the Flamin' Hot Cheeto in, like, the first 20
minutes? - Right.
- Or is that, like, big, like, towards the
end? 'Cause there's a version where he, like,
invents the... - I bet they're coming out of the gate
with him inventing it fast. That's my guess.
- Like, a little bit of backstory. - Yeah.
- His immigration story. - Yeah.
- And then maybe from then on, it's about...
Well, then he becomes, like, probably, like, a low-level
executive, so there's still him working his
way up the corporate ladder,
dealing with the stigmas of,
you know, being
a Hispanic immigrant, not your typical
Caucasian
American corporate dude, plus
his backstory as a janitor. So, yeah, I wonder if he
invents it, and people are like, "All right, this is doing pretty
well. Montaigne is, like, yeah,
but, you know, don't get too excited."
I guess it's also the larger story
is not just about Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
It's about building, like,
the whole Flamin' Hot empire within Frito-Lays.
- I feel like he...
- This is so deep.
- He posted something once that was about some other
product that they... 'Cause basically, there's a Flamin'
Hot version of almost anything you could think of.
You know? Like, it was a Flamin' Hot
cheddar popcorn or something, and he
was posted about how, like, when I first
pitched this, one of the food scientists
said it was impossible, and I was like,
"Come on, let's make it happen." Wait, let me see.
- I like that there's now, like, a small
genre of films pertaining to, like,
fast food and
snack foods.
We got Fast Food Nation, the Richard Linklater
film. Great film. Very dark.
Very dark. - Yeah.
- And then... - The Founder. - The Founder,
which we saw in the theater together. - Yep.
- Pretty solid. - I still think back
on that. - Pretty solid movie. - I wish it was a
tiny bit better, because it's...
it's such a good story. - Yeah.
- Yeah, I don't know what... That always pops into my head, like,
that part at the end when he says
to the McDonald brothers, "You know what I needed?
I needed your name.
Ray Kroc.
What does that make people think of? Croc-a-sh*t.
McDonald's.
That's an all-American name." - Wow, that's a good memory.
- I don't know, it just made a big impression on me.
I feel like I thought of that recently
for some reason. It is a good
movie, and it's just like...
- I wish it was R instead of PG-13.
- There's just a...
There's a version of it that could have been
"There Will Be Blood." - Oh, absolutely.
- It's so... - Ruthless capitalism.
- It echoes "There Will Be Blood" in so many
ways. Nick Offerman is
one of the McDonald's brothers. - Right.
And I think that character
actor, John Carroll Lynch... - Is the
other guy? - Is the other one. - Oh, yeah, he's a great actor.
- I see him around
Eagle Rock. - Oh, really? - I went in
a few weeks ago.
I popped into the Chipotle.
- Oh, yeah? He was in Chipotle? - And he was doing a
dine-in at Chipotle with his daughter.
- Really?
What's his name? John Carroll Lynch? - John Carroll Lynch.
- This is like TMZ. - And I was like...
I was so excited. I was texting Hannah.
I was like, "Dude, John Carroll Lynch." 'Cause we had seen
him at a diner down the street
from our house. I'm like, "Dude, that's the guy
from Fargo and Zodiac and all this stuff."
- Oh, yeah, Fargo. - Yeah. And then
seeing him doing the dine-in at
1 p.m. at the Chipotle...
I mean, I was getting the
burrito to go. - Yeah. Imagine if you were just
like, "Yo, Lynch!" And he kind of looked
over and you were just like, "Chipotle? Really?
I thought you'd be at McDonald's!"
I bet he fully
wouldn't get it. - What do you mean?
- "What the f*** are you talking about? I mean, I figured
you of all people should be at McDonald's for lunch,
not Chipotle." And you'd just be like,
"Why would... What does that mean? Why would I be at McDonald's?"
You'd be like, "Because you were in that
movie." - What movie?
- "The Founder" about McDonald's.
- Oh! - And then he'd be like, "Oh, okay. I'm sorry.
You came in. I had no idea what you were
talking about. Yeah. Okay. Right. Right.
That was with Michael Keaton. Yeah, yeah. That was a few years ago."
- I thought you were talking about that McDonald's
used to own Chipotle, then they sold Chipotle.
I thought... I thought we were
talking about some corporate food history here.
Don't you host "Time Crisis"? - Right.
- "Time Crisis."
- "I just ate McDonald's.
I said, 'Hi, D'Wannell.'
I said, 'Hi, D'Big Mac, Patty, Whack.
Give a dog a bone.
If you don't know me, just
search me on your phone.
You tryna mess with me, but you
know I'm in my zone.
After I eat the Big Mac, you
know that I am gone.
You want a McChicken?
That is what I'm pickin'.
If you say it's nasty, I guess
you are trippin'."
- Do you think "Flamin' Hot"
is gonna be R-rated? - No.
It sounds like feel-good, PG kind of thing.
- It sounds very... yeah.
It's a family film. - Wait, but listen to this. This is a post that
Montaigne has made in June,
and it's for Chester's
"Flamin' Hot Popcorn."
I don't see this around...
Well, or I just wouldn't notice it
'cause I don't eat a lot of popcorn.
- Or raisins. - Or raisins.
[laughing]
"Flamin' Hot Popcorn and Raisins"?
- Hey, I think we're onto something.
- So he says that Chester's "Flamin'
Hot Popcorn," this is the third product
right after "Hot Fritos." So that
also makes me think that when he probably thinks back
to his story, it's like, yeah, "Flamin' Hot
Cheetos" is the beginning, and then he has to, like,
painfully break through
the bullsh*t of, like, corporate America.
- Yeah. - For all we know, it's kinda like
making "Flamin' Hot Fritos"
is like its whole other story.
So he thinks about it this way.
The third thing he made
was "Flamin' Hot Popcorn."
This one almost didn't make it. Sales were low,
and no one had ever thought popcorn should be anything
but butter. This is a time before
popcorn-flavored stores were around.
Innovation is making something better.
The Barrio and Hood are full of innovation. Don't stop.
RPM." - Yeah, I
feel like there's also a genre of film that's
like, "I'm a genius, and I've created something,
and no one will listen."
- Right. - And, like, the drama of the film
will be, like, getting people to, like,
understand his vision.
- There's, like, "Lincoln,"
the Steven Spielberg film "Lincoln."
One thing I liked about that that I thought
was very smart about that movie is that
obviously, "Lincoln," you could tell the whole story
of his life. There's famous moments of his life.
Lincoln-Douglas debates. - Yep.
- His boyhood wrestling. You know,
you could tell the whole story of his life, but he chose to focus
on this very specific moment where
he's basically gathering votes. - Mm-hmm.
- So I like the fact that it zeroed in on something
inherently, not
just political in the broad sense, but, like,
dealing with the bureaucracy
of politics. - Right. - So it was literally,
it was a little bit like a "Succession" episode
or something. - Yeah, yeah. - Where it's, like, literally just, like,
counting the votes. "Do we have this?" So there's
something cool about that, 'cause you got to see this famous
guy just in his element. So maybe
there could be something "Lincoln-esque" about this story, too,
that's just about, like... - Just convincing
people through sheer will. - Like,
maybe getting into the weeds that's just, like,
"Why was it hard to green-light this?"
And he's like, "That'd be sick if it's, like, the kind of movie
where it's, like... In 1982,
the board of Frito-Lay was seven people.
Four were that, you know, like, boom, boom,
almost like the Big Short kind of vibe."
- That would be so tight.
- I have a feeling
it's probably a little more, like, feel-good, but
that'd be sick, too.
- Will definitely be a TC field trip when that movie
premieres. - Oh, yeah, we'll be keeping our eyes on
"Flamin' Hot." - ♪ Sometimes I feel like
♪ I just wanna go back to my old ways
♪ You're telling me I'm silly
♪ It's no fun in the old days
♪ I'm such a romantic
♪ I never remember how things really happen
♪ I guess you're attractive or something
♪ Live in the moment
♪ That's what they tell me, but whatever happened
♪ To when you would hold me and hold me and hold me
♪ Girlfriend, a girl that's a friend
♪ It's easy just to pretend that we don't have something real
♪ It's just how we feel
♪ We feel
♪ Oh, it's just how we feel
♪ How we feel
♪ I'm feeling something right
♪ I'm feeling something right
♪ I'm feeling something right
♪ I'm feeling something right
♪ I'm feeling something right
♪ I wanna be the one you think about at night
♪ And I wanna be the one that you would put up a fight for
♪ You know that I adore
♪ That even when you're bored
♪ I'd buy you anything and everything I can afford
It's time for the Top 5
5 on iTunes
This episode we're doing
the Top 5 iTunes songs right now
2019 vs. the Top 5 Billboard hits
this week in 1992
Why 1992?
Was that the year that
Flamin' Hot was introduced to the market?
Weirdly I thought that would have been earlier
But I guess Flamin' Hot Cheetos hit the market in '92
So we've had 20, uh, 27 years?
27 years of Flamin' Hot
Well I guess that's cool
That means that Flamin' Hot the film
is gonna be a '90s movie
Great
You know, catching up on my touring and plane rides
been checking out more Marvel movies
Captain Marvel takes place in the '90s
and at first I was kind of into elements of it
but then just like every single, you know, transition
just like blasting some like big '90s songs
just like driving down the highway
and it got a little bit old
Like STP? Like what kind of stuff?
Like rock stuff?
Um...
Yeah, there was definitely some rock stuff
Maybe it was like sabotage by the Beastie Boys or something
Just like stuff where I was kind of like
"Yeah, alright, we get it, it's the '90s"
Anyway, the number 5 song in '92
I think when we listen to all these '92 songs
we should picture them being in
on the soundtrack to the Flamin' Hot movie
So the number 5 song, classic
Guns N' Roses, November Inn
Wow
Like a 9-minute ballad in the top 5
Hard to picture that now
Montañez, get out of my office
There's never gonna be Flamin' Hot Cheetos
He takes the tray that he made
the famous tray he made at home
like throws it in the garbage
And then who's his wife, Judy?
Yeah
You gotta keep dreaming
It's a stupid idea
No, it's not
Those fear-laced suits are never gonna understand it
This song is so long
I said get out of my office, Montañez
Why are you still sitting there?
Cheetos will never be Flamin' Hot
Get going
I'm not leaving this office
until you've tried that Cheeto
Look me in the eye
Look me in the eye and tell me
that is not a step up for our product line
When I look into your eyes
I can see your love restrained
Darling, when I hold you
I know I feel the same
I feel like we've talked about this on the show, but
Axl wrote this before
Appetite for Destruction
Oh, like he's been sitting on this forever?
Yeah, there's a demo from like '85
that he made it
like a home demo
Oh, let me check that out
And he apparently was pushing to have this song
be on Appetite
which would have been a completely different record
There's no room for like a true ballad
Yeah, like a huge eight in it
That's a real like, sad song
Sweet Child O' Mine was like the ballad
which is not even a ballad
This is the 1986 Sound City Session
Oh wow
30 seconds longer
One of the top YouTube comments
I can't believe that humanity
can create such masterpiece
laughs
Played in a much clumsier way
I'm gonna skip ahead a little
Yeah, skip the vocals
'Cause it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
Okay
We've been through this
Such a long, long time
Just trying to kill the pain
Yeah
Sounds tight
He rules
Yeah
But love was always coming
Love was always going
I've never been like a big Guns N' Roses person
It's just like
I just like kind of missed it
Like, of course I know all the hits
Yeah
But you know, weirdly like
But I know like Ari
all those Guns N' Roses
He raps them a lot
And for whatever reason
I didn't know that song "Patience"
And now I feel like I hear it all the time
I'm super into that
Yeah, "Patience" rules
I mean, this is a really well-written song
It's weird that
I wish he wrote more beautiful ballads
Does he get all the way to the outro?
The famous outro?
So I don't think he had the
That like slash part?
Yeah
I remember when I was a kid
I knew this song
And I don't know why
But the outro spoke to me so much
I was like, "That part rules"
Yeah
And then I would hear the rest of it
And I'd just be like, "This sucks so bad"
Like, get to the slash part
[Guitar solo]
This is so fun
Yeah, I feel like I heard this when I was like 9
I was just like
This part gives me chills
[Imitates guitar]
It's funny, when I was 9
I remember hearing the harmonized guitar outro
Of Hotel California
Oh yeah
And I was like, "Damn"
That gives me chills
I mean, that part's amazing
Anyway, November Rain, great song
The November Rain of 2019
Senorita, Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello
You know they're a couple?
I think I did know that
Shawn Mendes is part of a huge Tim Hortons campaign
Oh right
Right now, yeah
Yeah, we were talking about that on the TC thread
How Shawn Mendes did a very kind of earnest
Commercial for Tim Hortons
That reflects on his Canadian heritage
And it shows him as a little boy
That's kind of like him walking up to buy a donut at Tim Hortons
They're like, "Hey Shawn!"
And he's like a little boy throwing up some change on the thing
And it's like a real feel-good thing
And Shawn Mendes
Who came through the Vampire Weekend Webster Hall show
Me and R.L. chopped it up with him
He's a super nice guy, super cool
And he's just like
You know, kind of what you'd expect from a Canadian pop star
Talented, cool, humble
Perfect guy for a Tim Hortons campaign
The thing that I was reflecting on was like
How you just can't picture Justin Bieber having a Tim Hortons campaign
And then, so just picturing
So I was thinking more about that
I'm not trying to pit them against each other
Why does Shawn Mendes feel so much more Canadian than Bieber?
Did Bieber renounce his Canadian vibe?
Weigh in on this Seinfeld, you're the resident Canadian
Oh wow, okay
Well, Bieber
So Bieber fully embraced the American lifestyle, right?
He was co-opted by Usher
Didn't he record his first album at like Atlanta?
Yeah, I believe so
Then doesn't he live in like Calabasas or something?
Yeah
And then he was like driving around with his Maserati and f***ing in buckets
I'm not saying that's synonymous with American culture
But I'm saying
You don't f*** in buckets up there in Canada
You never do
It's been a while
But yeah, so I mean I just feel like
Shawn Mendes has just been a gentler, more wholesome presence
He never really had that
Those wild years, those wilderness
What are those, salad days?
Is that what you said? No
Salad days are good
You know what I'm saying though
So he didn't sow his wild oats
There you go
Maybe this is the beginning of the wild oats being sowed
Like maybe he'll break up with Camila and
F*** in a bucket
Renounce Tim Hortons
Right, yeah
But it's funny because when I was talking about how like
You can't picture Justin Bieber just like
Humbly sipping on like a hot Tim Hortons
I mean we found a picture of him
Just like wearing some like f***ing like ragged-ass street wear
Like crazy outfit
Holding like a giant Starbucks
And you're like yeah that's Bieber
It's like a giant Starbucks iced coffee
And Shawn Mendes is a little more like
Oh you know man, I just like to get a nice hot coffee from
Tim Hortons
Yeah, like stop by Timmy's, get a nice hot coffee
You know it's real cold outside
Like Justin Bieber
Just like picturing Justin Bieber like
Back on Ontario in like October
And it's like 50 degrees
And he's just like what the f***
F*** this s***
Why is it so f***ing cold?
And like everybody's like
Oh Justin remember you know when you were a little boy
We had when it was really cold in the winter
You know it was going down to negative 5 degrees
And he's like no honestly f*** this s***
I want an ice, it's too cold to have a f***ing iced coffee
Like can the plane leave?
F***ing sick of this s***
Just breaking all the rules of being a good Canadian
Wearing a Gucci bucket hat
Is it lame as a Canadian to complain about the cold?
We complain about the cold
It's kind of part of the lifestyle
Is it lame?
No I think it's par for the course
But do you have to have like a smile about it?
Like do you have to be a little bit like
Oh it's so cold, wow
Do we have a smile about it?
No I mean it's pretty miserable
Like we're not exempt from the human condition
So you're allowed to walk in to
And I mean I'm talking about like the real Canada
I'm not talking about you know
I'm not talking about a downtown penthouse in Toronto
I'm talking about real Canadians
What like the Yukon, the Northwest Territories?
Newfoundland?
I'm talking about Calgary, no I don't know
I'm just talking about like
Toronto gets pretty cold
Medicine hat
Yeah I'm talking about medicine hat
At a certain point
No I know Toronto gets cold
But also Toronto's gotten very like full of money
And built up lately
Jeez, yeah
Tell me more about how Toronto's been doing
I just heard that because like
I was just talking to like a promoter in Toronto
And they were just like
Like the tickets for our Toronto show went very quickly
And they're like oh Toronto's a very hot market lately
And I was like oh yeah well Toronto's a great city
That doesn't surprise me, why is it hotter now?
And they're just like oh you know they built up downtown
So many new, so many kind of like yuppies moving in
This accent, it's subtle
He's doing good work
I'm doing real subtle
All these yuppies moving in in Toronto
Does everybody, not for Vampire Weekend in general
Even though we, you know I'll admit we have some yuppie fans
But they're just saying just generally speaking
A lot more young people with money
Have filled up Toronto
So that there's more like, more concert tickets sell
And I'm sure there's way more restaurants and coffee shops
And bars to you know serve a kind of international elite
So Toronto's over the past decade
Toronto's like waterfront got developed quite a bit
And filled with these condos that have sprung up overnight
Essentially so it's just like this wall to wall
Like the skyline is just, like around where the CN Tower is
It's just yeah wall to wall condos
So it's like with any city, it's like Austin, Texas
And obviously New York, it's always a part of the New York story
Is that the people who were there before all the condos went up
Being a little bit like oh look at you guys
Because usually the crowd that comes in with the condos is not locals
So there's maybe a feeling of like
Are you really down with what it means to like love this place
Or you just want a kind of anonymous, wealthy aesthetic
True yeah, downtown Los Angeles you're seeing it happen
Oh yeah you're seeing it, of course you're seeing it in every city
But I'm saying in Canada which is a specific very you know proud place
I just wonder if your attitude towards the cold
Maybe separates the new condo people from the old school
So you walk into your office in downtown Toronto
And one person walks in and is like
Oh man it was so cold out there I thought my damn eyeballs
Were about to freeze and fall out and shatter on the ground
And everybody's like oh yeah it was cold
Then somebody else comes in and is like
F*** it was f***ing cold, f*** this winter
Jesus f***ing Christ I hate it
And then that person is like oh yeah
Like one person is more like the Shawn Mendes
And one person is the Justin Bieber
You know what I mean?
Yeah I think you'd find that about maybe people who have come from like
I don't know like if somebody moved there from like California or something
You might
Hey gang Corporate wants to shake things up a bit
So we're bringing in a new manager
You're gonna report directly to him
His name's Steve and he comes from Miami
And then that guy, and I just feel like that guy comes in
And he's like holy f*** it's cold
Jesus f***ing Christ
How do people do it?
This f***ing sucks
Why do you live here?
That's right
Steve is always sick
Yeah
He's just always congested
He wants to keep the office temp at 85 degrees
And he's just like guzzling iced coffee
That's right
He's like the iced coffee doesn't feel good
You're like it's a little bit too hot now
He's like well I wanna drink my f***ing iced coffee
That iced coffee doesn't hit right
Under 85
You know but I will say that maybe like in Calgary for example
Maybe people do take it a little bit more like
This is a fact of life
Where there maybe is a little bit more yuppie griping about it
Right
Well and also obviously I have no idea what I'm talking about
Because in New York you know even native New Yorkers
Will be like I f***ing hate winter
I wanna, the wanting to move to Miami is a classic New York trope
Even from born and raised Brooklyn people
Exactly
Midnight cowboy
Wanna go to Miami
So you know obviously you're allowed to be a proud OG native of a place
And still hate the cold
But obviously New York cold versus Canadian cold
It's like you know the cold is more a part of the culture in a way
Yeah I would say so
So you're saying it's okay to be a Canadian and hate the cold?
I'd say it's even like a bonding mechanism to complain about the cold
It's the thing that brings us together
You know what right so maybe it's just about your attitude towards community
There you go
Are you gonna come in and complain about it in an individualistic American
You know private healthcare type of way?
Are you gonna just come in and be like f*** it's cold
I'm so cold
Why would God do this to me?
Versus maybe the more Canadian way is to just be like
F*** it's cold
Why would God do this to us?
Let's go to Timmy's and have a hot coffee together
Yeah
Hey guys we're all cold
Let's go thaw out
Justin we're all cold
Justin sit down for a second
Justin we're all cold
Sean's cold
Sean's very cold
But he's not talking the way you're talking
Do you think you're any colder than Sean?
Justin?
Sean might even be colder than you Justin
What?
Oh my God
Okay let's keep moving
Number 4 1992 Bobby Brown Humping Around
Great title
Humping Around
Little dancing days in there
Yeah it's an interpolation of Led Zeppelin's Dancing Days
Everybody's dancing
Six minutes
This one is?
Yeah so the top two is a nine minute song and a six minute song
Yeah a lot of long songs
That you don't care where I'm at
You give me reason to doubt you
Say you trust someone
Why you calling all around?
Think I'm some dip on the side
Girl you don't trust no one
And your car's still hanging out
You know it's a game if you play that away
Get up on my back
Take a fart like
Yeah
Everybody's humping around
Humping Around
His '93 world tour was called the Humping Around the World Tour
That's sick
What's he saying? Ain't nobody humping around?
It's like his girlfriend thinks he's cheating on her
But he's saying nobody's humping around
But the tour is called Humping Around
Wait, I gotta look up the lyrics
In this song specifically
I'm not humping around but the tour
I know why you think I'd be humping around
The chorus is get off my back
Save a heart attack
Ain't nobody humping around
No matter what they say
No it ain't that way
Ain't nobody humping around
He's not cheating
When you trust someone and you know you're on their back
You ain't got no trusting about you
And you claim that you don't care where I'm at
You've given me reason to doubt you
Say you trust someone, why are you calling around?
Think I've got some dip on the side
Girl you don't trust no one
You're constantly in doubt
You lose the game if you play that way
I think he's saying like
I'm not cheating on you
But damn it
You're
You're making this difficult
You're making, yeah
The fact that you don't trust me
Is alienating me
And let's keep it real
Why do people cheat sometimes?
Because they become alienated from their partner
And then they start humping
Yeah
Humping
Humping is such a funny
Euphemism for an adult to be using
In a song
It was truly like
Humping was very much like
You're like in like fifth grade
And you have like vague understanding of like
How's the mechanics of sex
Yeah, humping
Dry humping?
Yeah, dry humping
People always talk about that in like middle school
Right
Oh man, they're dry humping
Dry
Yeah, dry humping versus wet humping
Oh
I've never heard wet humping before this round
Wet humping is just humping
You don't need the
The wetness is implied
So then we started humping
Was it dry or wet?
A hundred of those are like deeper album cuts on this record
Dry humping track one
No, but he's making a good point
He's talking about that
You know that you're holding on too tight
Soon they will be leaving without you
He's saying that
That's the irony
And this is true
Think about, I mean Bobby Brown
I think identifies as male, but
You know, the classic
We often think about the controlling
We often think about the controlling boyfriend
That's a very familiar figure, right?
That's like the guy who is
So jealous and like crazy towards his girlfriend
Possessive
Possessive, you're talking to him, what the f***
That eventually he holds on way too tight
And then she's like, in her mind, she's like
Well this guy's insane
Maybe I will cheat on him
I'm sick of him
And I guess Bobby's talking about, you know, presumably a woman
Who's like that, she's calling all his friends
And he's like
But maybe he is gaslighting her
When you think about it that
In 1992 he releases a song whose hook is
Ain't nobody humping around
And it's funny that the song is just called Humping Around
She's like, why is the song just called Humping Around?
He's like, 'cause it's shorter
Okay, in the song I say Ain't nobody humping around
Okay, but still, your new single's called Humping Around
It makes me feel uncomfortable
It's very misleading, Bobby
He's like, oh my God
Wait, was he with Whitney Houston?
They're probably just getting together now
They got together in the early 90s
And he's like, oh my God, chill
She's like, couldn't you have at least called it Humping Around
And then in parentheses before, Ain't no?
Like I can't get no satisfaction
And he's like, look, people just call the song Satisfaction
So it doesn't even matter
It's just called Humping Around
When they hear the song, they're gonna hear me saying
Ain't nobody humping around
That makes it very clear
She's like, okay
Okay, he's like, baby, please listen to the song
If you keep nagging me, things are gonna go really sideways
Okay, Bobby, I trust you
And then like, next year, just like
Alright, like, got the tour T-shirts printed up
Getting ready to go
Oh, can I see one? Yeah, sure
It's called the Humping Around the World Tour
Wait, wait, Bobby
It's called the Humping Around the World Tour
Oh, yeah, yeah, because you know
The hit single's called Humping Around
Okay, I was with you up to a point
I understand you called the song Humping Around
But Humping Around the World
That really makes it sound like
You're gonna be cheating on me
By humping various women around the world
Okay, okay, you're being crazy right now
Okay, let's take this back to the beginning
The tour's called Humping Around the World
Because it's a world tour
And because the song is called Humping Around
Why is the song called Humping Around?
Because the hook of the song is
Ain't Nobody Humping Around
So when you really think about it
The tour is basically called
Ain't Nobody Humping Around the World Tour
It's just edited for brevity
Bobby, I'm trying to have this make sense
But I don't know, man
Anyway
The number four song in 2019
Oh, our good friend Post Malone
Oh, you're gonna be interested in this one, Jake
This is from his new album that just came out
And this one has Ozzy Osbourne and Travis Scott
Definitely has an Ozzy vibe already
Post Malone is a self-professed metal fan
I feel you crumbling my arms down to your heart of stone
You bled me dry just like the tears you never show
Why don't you take what you want from me
Take what you need from me
Take what you wanna go
Why don't you take what you want from me
Take what you need from me
Take what you wanna go
I never needed anything from you
And all I ever asked was for the truth
I like the Ozzy hook, it's cool
I wonder if Post wrote that part for Ozzy
I don't know, they're both credited songwriters
It was perfect for Ozzy
I was in a state where they told me to break
Held me down to hope and I would drown
Like a plague I was facing away
Trying to find my way out, find my way out
And then finally came the day
I start giving my heart away
For heaven's sake, my bones will break
But you never owned my soul, no
I feel you crumbling my arms down to your heart of stone
You bled me dry just like the tears you never show
Why don't you take what you want from me
Take what you need from me
Take what you wanna go
Why don't you take what you want from me
Take what you need from me
Take what you wanna go
I took those calls you threw me chains for the crew
I bought all ten of those, only made for two
You know, it works
Post Malone, Ozzy Osbourne, Travis Scott, it just works
Back to 1994, 1992, TLC, Baby Baby Baby
And guess what, the song has the same producers as Humpin' Around
L.A. Reid, Babyface, Daryl Simons
♪
That sounds sick
♪
♪
♪ Hey, you want my love? ♪
Oh yeah, this could be in the Flamin' Hot movie
♪
Like a montage sequence?
This would be the montage of when he meets Judy
and they're like, they're like at the, on the roller coaster and stuff
hanging out
♪
♪
TLC has so many good songs from the 90s
A lot of great production
♪
Let's keep it moving, back to 2019, Lizzo, Truth Hurts
This song recently went number one on the Billboard charts
two years after it came out
Whoa, so it came out two years ago, then didn't do much initially?
Yeah
♪
♪
Listen to this
Lizzo almost quit music following the song's initial release
She told People magazine
"The day I released Truth Hurts was probably one of the darkest days ever in my career
I remember thinking if I quit music now, nobody would notice
This is my best song ever, nobody cares
I was like, f*** it, I'm done
Yikes
So what happened to bring the song?
Actually, I can say that this song was in a trailer for a Netflix movie
called Someone Great
and it sort of caught fire after that came out
Oh wait, didn't we talk about this?
I think we did
I think there was a Vampire Weekend song in Someone Great
That's right, yeah, we did talk about this
Did not have a similar trajectory
Well, it hasn't been two years yet
But I feel like it was a song of ours from like 2008 or something
Oh, right
Well, you never know
I think her profile grew as a person and maybe the song did its thing
Well, shout out to Lizzo, good for her
Back to 1992, Patti Smith featuring Don Henley
but this is the Patti Smith with a Y
Sometimes love just ain't enough, do you know this song?
It sounds familiar, yeah
Producer Roy Bitton, is he from the E Street Band?
Yeah, he was the keyboardist
Must be the same guy
Yeah, he's the one who also played on all the good Meatloaf singles
I don't wanna lose you
But I don't wanna use you
The Professor
That's right
And I don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry
I don't think I've ever heard this song
And I don't really matter
Yeah, I don't even know if I have or not
There's so many songs that sound like this
Released August '92
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door
Has a real '80s vibe
There's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know
It's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough
Don sounded great on those harmonies
Does he get his own verse?
I'm hoping
Well, I can't
I could never change you
I don't wanna blame you
Baby, you don't have to take the fall
It kinda reminds me of, like, you know, like, '80s Bonnie Raitt kinda
Yeah
I guess--oh, there he goes
He gets half a verse
I guess this really does sound like early '90s
It's like a little bit of--it's a little bit of '80s
A little bit of, like, '90s coffeehouse
Yeah
It's like right on the cusp
Yeah, 'cause there's definitely that, like, yeah, like, anthemic, like, metal
Yeah
Like, power ballad feels
With Layton in it
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people--
Do you know that Bonnie Tyler song, "It's a Heartache"?
You know Bonnie Tyler who did, uh--
Total Eclipse?
Yeah
She did a hit in the late '70s
It just kinda reminds me of this
It's a great song, but it--it's weird
It's almost like how this song is sort of like the end of the '80s
Yeah
Her song sort of, like, foreshadows the '80s
Lyrically, it's like the female perspective to "Humpin' Around"
Sometimes love just ain't enough
Check it out, "It's a Heartache" from '77
This song is tight
It's a heartache
Nothing but a heartache
Hits you when it's too late
Hits you when you're down
It's a fool's game
Nothing but a fool's game
Standing in the cold rain
Feeling like a clown
It's a heartache
Nothing but a heartache
It's like a little bit of, like, '70s Rod Stewart
Yeah
Love him 'til your arms break
Then he lets you down
It ain't right with love to share
When you find you're not there
Somebody else that collaborated with Roy Bitton
I think it's probably Roy Bitton
Oh, Ronnie?
Well, 'cause he played on Total Clips of the Heart
Oh, wow
He was like the--I guess he--between Meat Loaf and that
he was the go-to guy for Jim Steinman, the songwriter who wrote all those songs
Oh, that's right
I think we did a little Jim Steinman deep dive in one of those eps
Back to 2019, "One Republic" back on the charts
It's somebody to love
Haven't heard from them in a minute
Never could imagine
Who's One Republic?
The way the story ends
They came on the scene with "Too late to apologize"
Used to be a fool
And the singer, Ryan Tedder, is, like, a really big songwriter, too
You ain't even trying to make me jealous
Ten songwriters credited
You can't help it
So this is One Republic's chosen song from season one finale to the NBC show "Songland"
I guess there was, like, a reality show about songwriters?
So, wait, so they go over songs that are submitted by the contestants of the show
and perform them?
I guess the guy J.T. Roach was a contestant on the show
Well, this is how Ryan Tedder introduced the song at Red Rocks and said,
"The next song we collaborated on, we found it from a middle school basketball coach in California
who co-wrote this, and then we finished it with him"
That's a cool story
Middle school basketball coach entered the contest or the show
That's pretty Pollard
Yeah
I don't want you to be lonely
But right now I'm the only one who feels this way
And I ain't even trying to make you miss me
Make you miss me
I know a history
But it kills me to know that you found
Somebody to love
Tell me how can I go on without
Somebody to love
Bro, this was just released
Brand new
One Republic is a funny band name
Reminds me of, like, some, like, offshoot of, like, Banana Republic's new clothing line
One Republic?
I don't know
It wouldn't shock me if there's a band called One Republic and they sounded like Tool
Oh, totally
Yeah, it sounds heavy
It also has, like, that kind of, like, Muse, like, One World Government kind of vibe
Do not trust them
They want you to conform
One Republic
Have you heard that new Tool album, by the way?
I heard the first, that 11-minute single
I haven't heard it
I thought it was pretty tight
But I've seen on Twitter a few times, like, apparently it's selling like gangbusters
Yeah, Tool's new album, I believe it's called Fear Inoculum, is now the biggest
Well, it went number one the week it came out, making it the biggest sales week for a rock album this year
And I'm pretty sure the album that previously held that honor, Father of the Bride by Vampire Weekend
And you guys just got stomped by Tool
We got stomped by Tool, a real rock band
We gotta look that shit up at the end of the year
Just be like, the five biggest, like, debuts in rock this year
Tool, Vampire Weekend
Maybe some other shit knocked us off
Post Malone, no, technically Post Malone is the number one biggest rock debut
Is he, like, is he?
He's got Ozzy Osbourne, so
No, no, they probably don't count him as rock
Anyway, shout out to Tool
Us rock bands gotta stick together
Look, man, it's all love
It's all love
The number one song this week in 1992, this is a classic
Boyz II Men, End of the Road
Also Babyface, man, they had three songs
1992 is huge for Babyface and L.A. Rude
I think I talked about it on the show that last summer we played a festival in the UK called End of the Road
That's right
And Baio chose to play this song, it's our walk-off music
I was, like, wondering how many people in the UK know this, like, old Boyz II Men song
And then I was, like, walking to the trailer, I heard, like, 10,000 people, like
To the end of the road
That's awesome
It's released on the soundtrack for the 1992 Eddie Murphy comedy Boomerang
You ever see that movie?
I don't think I did
They're making a TV show of it
Uh, no
With Eddie Murphy in it?
I don't think so, just, like, uh, taking the plot
Grace Jones is in that movie
Oh, yeah, you know what, I have seen parts of it
He's, like, an advertising exec or something
That's right
She does, like, a perfume ad
Yeah, I think her character's name is Stranger, right?
Right
It's, uh, it's an amazing movie
Yeah, I've heard people love it
Yeah, Stranger, yeah
And the name of the perfume that she, you know, she creates as the model is, uh, Afterbirth
[laughs]
Although we go to the end of the road
Still I can't let it go
It's unnatural
You belong to me
I belong to you
Go to the end of the road
So this is a breakup song?
Yeah, but it's Can't Let Go
It's unnatural, is that what you're saying?
I think
It's unnatural
I think he's saying we came to the end of the road, but I can't do it
Yeah
We came to the EOTR
This, this sounds more mutual, though, as opposed to the
Let me check out these lyrics
You've never been there before
It's only your first time
Just during the break we were talking about Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
New film, came out three months ago
Finally getting around to talking about it on TC
But we were talking about, one moment that we both liked a lot
Is that whole sequence of when, um, DiCaprio and Pitt are coming back from Italy
And we're saying, like, I love how they use that Rolling Stones song
And I remember there's, there's like a line in the narration that goes like
What do you do, what do you do when you come to the end of the road?
It's something like about
Yeah, with an old buddy
With an old buddy who's less than a wife and a little more than a brother
Something like that
Yeah
And I feel like, maybe it doesn't say end of the road, but
It's such a funny phrase
There's also that part where DiCaprio says to Brad Pitt, like
Well, well old buddy, looks like we've come to the end of the trail or something
Yeah
Is that when they go to the Mexican restaurant in the valley and get hammered?
This might be right before that, yeah
I guess end of the road is a common phrase
And if you're kind of, uh, if you're from the wild west
Or a cowboy, or acting cowboy movies, you can say end of the trail
Looks like the trail ends here
Well, looks like we're at the end of the trail
Yep, we're at the end of the road
Yep
End of the trail
Well, you say trail, I say road
That's why we're here
That's like a wild west dude breaking up with his New York girlfriend
We're at the end of the trail
Yeah, we're at the end of the road
Shawn Mendes says trail
Bieber says road
Well, where's Shawn Mendes from?
Is he from a more, like a more like classically Canadian
They're both from pretty, they're both from Ontario I think, Shawn
They're just both from the burbs?
Yeah, Shawn Mendes
From, oh, there you go, yeah
Oh, it says he was born in Toronto, but he didn't grow up there
Yeah, Pickering, home town Pickering
City boy
And then where's Bieber from?
Stratford
Do you have any sense of the differences between Pickering and Stratford?
Uh, no
Not really
I think we're both the same size
I do love, that's such a standout part of the song is the fact that they say it's unnatural
It's such like a, it's a good, like memorable songwriting
It's unnatural
Maybe that's where I got it from, Cape Cod
I said it feels so unnatural
Subconsciously
I was synthesizing some Peter Gabriel and some Boyz II Men
It's just a damn good word
It's unnatural
Do you remember that Katy Perry song, Unconditional?
No
It's like this ballad she put out maybe like four years ago
The delivery of that word, it's very unusual the way she
Unconditional
I don't, yeah, I've never heard that, Unconditional
Or is it Unconditionally?
Maybe, there's a song called Unconditionally
Yeah, let's listen to the chorus of that one
Okay, so she says both
Unconditional
That's very musical theater
Yeah, very formal enunciation
Unconditional
That sounds like it could be a song from Hamilton
Alexander, we need to vote on the amendment now
I don't like the language
The legal ramifications of the word Unconditional
Unconditional
That's, yeah, it's so musical theater
And what is this word, Unconditional?
Unconditional
How could I sign a document saying this?
Unconditional
Unconditional
Unconditional
Shout out to Katy Perry
The number one song on iTunes right now, Craig Morgan, country
It's called The Father, My Son, and the Holy Ghost
What?
Okay, well, hold on
This is one of those ones where I'm glad I'm looking at the paper
Because before we say anything about this song
It's very important to know that this song is about the loss of his son
Who drowned at the age of 19 while tubing with friends
Jesus, I almost don't want to listen to it, that's so sad
That's so dark
What a f***ing age to die, Jesus
I know
To lose a son who's 19
Oh, God
Okay, I guess we gotta listen to it
But it's such a sad backstory, good Lord
Lights are shining bright
As always downtown on the road
I have friends that come from out of town
Asking me to go
They say there's so much going on
Why don't you come along and show us around?
I tell them Karen's not feeling well
So I probably shouldn't go out
Besides, I've got a fixed list of things
I need to do around the house
Then I hang up the phone
Turn the radio back on and sit back down
I know my boy ain't here but he ain't gone
In the mornings I wake up
Give her a kiss, head to the kitchen
Pour a cup, wake me up
And try to rouse up some ambition
Go outside, sit by myself
But I ain't home
I've got the father, my son, and the homeless
I've been beat up, I've been pushed and shoved
But never ever really knocked down
Between Mom and Dad, Uncle Sam and friends
I somehow always pulled out
But the pain of this was more
Than I'd ever felt before
Yeah, I was broke
I cried and cried and cried
Until I found my home
And I prayed and prayed and prayed
I cried and cried and cried
And the man in my head
Day by day, he musters some ambition
Get me home
I know my boy ain't here
But he ain't gone
In the mornings I wake up
Give her a kiss, head to the kitchen
Pour a cup, wake me up
And try to rouse up some ambition
Go outside, sit by myself
But I ain't home
I've got the father, my son, and the homeless
Well, I'm not sure what he means by "I have the father"
I know my love, I pray, I cry
I hear a little more each day inside
I won't completely heal 'til I go home
In the mornings I wake up
Give her a kiss, head to the kitchen
Pour a cup, wake me up
And try to rouse up some ambition
Go outside, sit by myself
Did you ever hear that Mount Erie record called "A Crow Looked At Me"?
'Cause the guy from Mount Erie's wife died very young
No, I haven't heard that one
It's incredible
It's about his bad grieving
Yeah, it's like a very detail-oriented, like, narrative record
about, like, the immediate grieving process
Yeah, no, I haven't heard it
It's incredible
It's tough
I mean, it's not something you're, like, throwing on a lot
Right, right, yeah
It must be heavy
We went and saw him, Phil is his name, play at the L.A. Cemetery
What's that called?
Oh, the mausoleum kind of area?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, at the Forever Cemetery
It was, like, not a dry eye in the house
Obviously, condolences to Craig Morgan
Good for you, turning your grief into art
All right, let's try to end on a more up note
Jake, how are the Mets doing this year?
Wrong guy to ask
There was a good listener email
We got an email
To 8minutecapecod@gmail.com, by the way
That's the numeral 8
Yeah, okay
If you want to hit us up
Hello, I'm Richard Maista
I would like you to help me install sod in my front yard of my house
And I hope you can do a good job
End of email
Interesting
So, he thinks maybe we're going to get into landscaping
Or he thought he was, I don't know what
Maybe he just hit the wrong, maybe, like, 9minutecapecod is a landscaper
I was thinking 8minutecape sod
Oh, maybe
Might have been what he was meaning to hit
Tough to lay sod in 8 minutes
Maybe you should write back
That's...
I mean...
8minutelaid sod?
Yeah, I mean...
It goes fast
You could do it in an afternoon, but not 8 minutes
Look at the keyboard
The S is pretty far from the G
So you'd have to be wasted
Okay, maybe he's just trolling us
Well, Seinfeld, can you hit him back and just be like
Hey, I think you got the wrong email
This is the email for Internet Radio Show Time Crisis
We don't do that kind of stuff
Yeah
Yeah, I'll hit him up
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was...
8minutelaid sod is a local Tulsa sod company
Very quick service
Not very good
[Laughter]
Alright
Another TC in the can
We'll see you guys in two weeks
Peace
Time Crisis with Ezra King
Be-Be-Be-Be-Be-Beast War One
(explosion)
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