Episode 112: FaceTime Crisis
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Transcript
Transcript
Time Crisis in a time of crisis.
There's a lot going on in the world you can barely keep up.
But one thing's for sure.
The TC crew will come together, whatever it takes.
In a time of coronavirus and other strange, distressing things.
This is a very unusual...
Time Crisis with Ezra King.
B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Sport One.
They passed me by, all of those great romances.
The war I felt, robbing me of my rightful chances.
My picture clear, everything seemed so easy.
And so I dealt you the blow, when a bus had to go.
Now it's different, I want you to know.
One of us is crying, one of us is lying.
[Phone ringing]
Time Crisis back again.
Business as usual.
[Laughter]
Just the old TC.
Well, here's the thing, gang.
This is the first Time Crisis ever where we're not in the same room.
I mean, the real sticklers might say,
"Well, of course, in the early days, there, you know,
there have been episodes where Jake called in."
But I mean in the sense that literally,
none of the crew is in the same place.
Of course, we've had, you know, some slight exceptions,
but this is very unusual.
This is a true coronavirus episode in that we are conferencing in.
We're all in the same city.
Very strange.
This is going to have a great flow, I can tell already.
[Laughter]
Everybody's at home.
We were advised it was better to stay put, not all get together,
which certainly is true for large crowds.
Maybe it's even true for small gatherings.
Well, you know, I've had a fever the last three days.
It was kind of my call.
It would be irresponsible to expose the TC family to my low-grade fever.
Now, I feel more or less fine, but I was just like--
Everything I was reading was like emphasizing
how life and death social distancing is.
And since we're in the sort of early days here,
I just thought, you know, I would take it seriously,
do the group a solid, and just be like,
"Guys, let's just do a weird conference call."
Don't mess around. Don't mess around.
Well, all right, so let's start with that, Jake.
That must have been stressful to wake up with a fever a few days ago, right?
Yeah, well, it came out of the evening.
Have you been following the news?
Just a little bit.
Yeah, okay. So how did you feel when you woke up with a fever?
Well, it was one of those-- I didn't feel great about it.
It was also one of those things where I'd listen to a few podcasts
about coronavirus and read stuff on the New York Times and stuff.
And then I started to feel a fever come on,
and I was like, "Is this just psychosomatic?"
"Is this just rendering itself?"
But then, no, I actually truly did have a fever
and felt sort of achy.
Luckily, didn't develop a cough.
Honestly, I have no idea.
I might have a very low-grade version of it.
I might not. I don't know.
And I had the fever kind of on and off for the last two days.
Today, I'm feeling better.
So you've just been at home this whole time?
Yeah, the last two days, three days.
Didn't hit the bowling alley.
Yeah, had to cancel the league game.
Didn't go crush burritos.
Didn't crush burritos.
Just imagine if you were like patient zero,
and they're like, "So this guy had a fever."
It's like in all the global newspapers, and it's like,
"So this man in Los Angeles, Jake Longstreet, what did he do?"
And they're like, "He went to Richard Pictures practice."
That's his great cover band.
He went to Chipotle.
He went to Chipotle. He crushed a burrito.
Emphasis on crushed.
Just the whole world talking about it.
Richard Pictures trending on global Twitter.
Right. Chipotle, Eagle Rock trending.
I just opened up Twitter, and one of the trending topics was total chaos.
And was it about something specific, or just everybody's talking about total chaos?
I didn't click on it. I was just sort of like, "Wow, that's a cool..."
It's probably a reference to Target and people,
like all the pandemonium over toilet paper and canned soup and all that stuff.
I don't get the TP stuff.
That seems kind of low on the totem pole in terms of essential items.
Not if you're at home for three weeks.
I think it's just more about just not leaving the house.
Yeah, no, I get that, but I'm just saying...
Why that in particular?
I mean, there's a lot...
A lot of people have been asking that question.
I think, you know, probably all families are different.
[laughter]
It's true. If you have a household with a bunch of teenagers
who are just constantly taking huge stews,
and they got up...
There it is. You guys, like the family's going through a case of TP a week.
I found something interesting, guys.
Normally, this is something I would show Ezra rather than chime in.
But according to CNBC, there's an article that says the reason toilet paper is...
People are going nuts for toilet paper,
it's become "an icon of mass panic,"
and that in times of uncertainty, people enter a panic zone
that makes them irrational and completely neurotic.
So they just are buying toilet paper.
It's like some primal...
They're not even thinking about what they're buying.
They're just going, "Oh, I need to stockpile."
Okay.
"Icon of mass panic." I think that's sort of a...
Well, I wonder how it became an icon of mass panic.
It is a non-essential item.
Wait, but isn't there something to, like...
People are drawn... Sorry, sorry, sorry.
People are drawn to large packaging that toilet paper comes in
when they're looking to regain a sense of control.
I can see that.
Okay, isn't there a connection to having a flu and, like...
God, what am I talking about here?
-Well, yeah. -Do you know what I'm saying, though?
Yeah, it can be.
I don't know if people are thinking quite that far ahead.
And even if they are, I like this psychological take
because it's interesting to think that
it's somehow just ingrained in the American psyche.
Although, clearly, a lot of other countries, too.
You've heard similar stories in the UK and Australia.
Maybe it's an Anglo-Saxon thing.
Those Anglo-Saxons loom large over the English-speaking countries.
But there's something about grabbing the toilet paper.
I also feel like it's interesting to think that that's an act
that makes a powerless person feel in control.
Because there is something funny.
It's one of the biggest items that people regularly buy
that's very light.
So I wonder if there's just something about
when you just hold up that 24-pack
and you're just like...
Just on a really basic psychological level.
It's like if you could go to the gym
and there was a dumbbell made out of toilet paper.
You'd just be like...
It is a funny feeling, holding a big-ass...
like, 48-pack of paper towels or toilet paper.
It makes you feel like a big man.
Even though you're weak.
It's like a bale of hay or something.
Right.
Maybe it's a symbol of...
Just a 24-pack of really plush, double-ply TP
is a symbol of the safety and affluence and security
of our normal daily lives
in a country like the US.
And most people just quite literally couldn't pick up
a 24-pack of soup.
No.
It's like, you know, with the cardboard bottom
and the plastic on the top, you try to pick that up
it would make you feel weak.
And you'd be like, "You know what?"
Even though you might need the soup more.
You'd be like, "You know what? I don't need that."
"Let me get this big-ass...
giant TP thing."
Gonna need the A-truck for that case of soup.
I kind of even remember that feeling like being a kid
helping your parents unload the car
after going shopping.
Like, there's something about picking up that big-ass
thing of paper towels or toilet paper.
It's like a false feeling of strength.
And then it's like, "Where does this go? This is huge."
"Just chuck it anywhere." "All right, phwoar!"
Get some real distance.
Walk me out in the morning
Do my part
Walk me out in the morning
Do today
Do tomorrow
Can't walk out in the morning
Do tomorrow
Walk me out in the morning
Do today
But, you know, seriously, we're at a very interesting moment.
I've been looking at it through the lens of the music industry.
You know, a reminder to listeners, I'm a music industry professional.
I've been hearing murmurs for months now
about what might get cancelled.
I think the first time I heard somebody say
Coachella might get cancelled was almost a month ago.
And people were like, "No way. Not gonna happen."
And people were just like, "I don't know, man. Think about it."
"They wouldn't have Coachella in Wuhan right now. Think about it."
And there was a lot of pushback.
And then we even did a festival as recently as last weekend.
Last Saturday, we were in Okeechobee, Florida at the Okeechobee Festival.
You know, it was like a good vibe at the festival. It was very cold.
It was kind of surprising for Florida how cold it was.
That made it a slightly strange vibe.
But there was this weird feeling, like when we walked off stage,
we all kind of looked at each other like,
"Could this be our last show of the year?"
It was about to get wild.
And nobody knew, but we knew it was a distinct possibility.
And so I've been hearing from a lot of music people about,
"Well, okay, they cancelled that thing, but they had certain reasoning for it."
"They cancelled Ultra Festival in Miami."
And the reasoning I heard was because that's a very international festival.
And I think people were being optimistic, being like,
"Well, an international festival, you've got people from all around the world."
But there's no reason why you can't have more of a local festival or show, right?
People were kind of bargaining at that time.
And just day by day, you just heard more and more stuff get cancelled.
I had a conversation with one of our dudes who helps us run the whole live business.
And we were just talking about shows we had coming up.
I'm like, "Man, I hope that doesn't get cancelled. It'd be cool."
"What do you think? Is it going to happen?"
We're both kind of like, "I don't know."
And then within an hour of us getting off the phone,
Pearl Jam cancelled their tour, and Coachella cancelled/postponed.
So it seems like it's very quickly changing.
And now I kind of wonder, could this be the year of no music?
I don't know, man. I'm just wondering.
We're going to learn quite a bit in the next few weeks.
Yeah, I mean, it seems like everything's getting pushed to the fall,
where it's just going to be nonstop shows in the fall.
Yeah, it sounds a little optimistic.
You think so?
Well, yeah. I mean, I don't want to dwell on the music industry,
because so many people are going to be suffering and stressed about money.
People in restaurants, people who work at restaurants,
people who work all sorts of jobs where you can't go in.
There's so many people in precarious situations.
But I think with music, you've got to understand,
I'm really just brainstorming. I don't have any inside information.
Just from where I sit, you've got to picture how much money is at stake.
If you run a festival or something, you plan all year for it.
All your money comes in from that.
And insurance is going to be a nightmare.
And the bands, us musicians, we really count on some of these gigs.
So the idea of just cancelling something is insane.
So I think people, rather than cancelling things,
before they do that, they look for dates in the future,
and they choose them.
And then they say, "All right, we're just postponing it."
And then you don't have to deal with the nightmare of
refunding all the people who bought tickets,
and having to declare bankruptcy.
Think about all the crazy things that would happen if you're just a business,
and your main source of income for the year just goes out the window.
So understandably, people are looking to the fall as a time
when you can move things around.
Just me as a civilian, thinking out loud,
I'm just like, "Is there any reason to believe that that will actually happen?"
It's just so dependent on what the next couple of months are like.
There's also the theory that, based on what's happened with pandemics in the past,
that the fall can actually be a particularly brutal time.
Like the Spanish flu in 1918 comes back with a vengeance after the summer.
Truly, that won't be the case.
But you can also just imagine,
let's really hope that things are mellow,
that even though the US is kind of behind with some of the preventative measures,
the fact that big things are getting canceled now will halt the spread.
But let's say the next couple of months are gnarly,
even just psychologically gnarly.
When it starts getting cold again next October,
I wonder what kind of mood the nation is going to be in.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah. I don't like it.
Okay, so I'll be right back. I got Postmates here.
For real?
Is this a bit?
No, no, no. I ordered like an hour ago.
They just came. I'll be right back.
Don't take-- leave the bag outside.
Okay.
No, for real.
I like that he's supporting a local restaurant, though.
Yeah.
And you better give that dude a big tip.
Oh, hell yeah.
Have you guys shaken anyone's hands?
No.
Recently?
I stopped-- well, you know what's funny?
I don't know what triggered it for me,
but I kind of became very anti-handshaking
about two months ago.
Ahead of the curve as usual.
Yeah.
I'm just kind of a visionary, I guess.
No, but I mean, maybe I was--
I mean, obviously--
Actually, it was more like four or five months ago.
It was before you're reading about corona.
Well, here's the number one thing,
is that obviously--
and this is very common, Nick,
other members of the crew can back me up on this--
when children come into your life,
you do start to think more about hygiene.
And I've always been a clean dude.
I know people who refuse to wash their hands,
and I've just always been like, "What the-- come on."
But this idea that you would never enter your house
without immediately going to wash your hands,
I don't think I really felt that way until--
Mm.
Of course, yeah.
I'm sharing space with a sensitive little baby,
and you get freaked out about that [bleep]
and then you also notice, like,
when people come over to your house,
you have to sometimes prod people to wash their hands,
and then you just realize, "Oh, yeah, there's just--
people think about this stuff differently."
So once that gets into your head,
you almost--like, your hands almost, like,
start to feel dirty.
You know what I mean?
You turn a psychological corner or something,
so it's like you get home,
and you want to, like, say what's up to everybody,
you know, be affectionate,
grab something, grab a snack,
maybe you're hungry or thirsty,
and then eventually you turn a corner
where the idea of doing that, like, stresses you out
because you feel like your hands are dirty
'cause you were outside.
I never felt that way,
even though I was a relatively clean person,
I never felt that way.
So that was already kind of in my head, you know,
the last year-plus.
Yeah.
And then there was just something--
maybe I got sick after a tour,
and I was just, like, on my mind,
and I just started to have this feeling,
especially when I'd meet a stranger
and they'd come up and say something
and put their hand out to shake.
I just couldn't help it.
I'd start to just, like, really pause
and not want to do it.
And occasionally I'd still do it,
but I just started to feel, like, weird about it.
So maybe I became a little bit of a germaphobe.
But the past few months,
I definitely had a few times
where, like, somebody would come up
and they'd be perfectly nice, like, respectful,
and they'd put their hand out to shake,
and I'm just kind of like--
it felt too extra to me to be like,
"Hey, I'm not, like, trying to shake hands right now."
I couldn't bring myself to say that.
But I would just kind of look at their hand
and just, like, you know,
pause, like, a few seconds too long.
And most of the time people would get it
and maybe just, like, pat me on the shoulder or something,
or just--we'd move on with the conversation.
- Would you do fist bump?
- No, I didn't really want to, like, be skin to skin.
I don't know. - Like, get screwed up.
- I'd turn some kind of corner.
It just felt too--
I think a lot of people have that moment in their life
where they're just like, "Why do people shake hands?
"It's such a weird, like, way to, like, show respect
and introduce yourself.
Who needs it?"
And I think quite a few people agree with it now.
But it was a different story a few months ago.
And I also just couldn't bring myself
to ever say out loud something along the lines of,
"I'm not much of a handshaker. Oh, I got a thing."
And the truth is, I don't even feel like a germaphobe,
necessarily.
I just got, like--
there's just something about handshaking.
It's like, you think about it too long,
and you're like, "It doesn't make sense."
So, yeah, I couldn't bring myself to say anything.
Actually, I kind of remember--
I think, Nick, you told me a story once
about, you know, somebody who doesn't shake hands
and gets them in all sorts of unusual situations.
Yeah.
People really dislike it, too.
Well, and also, I guess there's different levels to it.
There's the level of being, like,
you meet, like, a total stranger comes up to you
and says, "What's up?"
And you're kind of like,
"Oh, okay, I don't know this person at all."
And then there's also a level of being, you know,
entering, like, a business meeting,
where it's just like, "Hey, like, Jake,
how the hell are you? Put it there.
Haven't seen you in a few months."
And you're just like, "Nah."
[Sighs]
[Chuckles]
Very Larry.
That would have made people feel kind of strange.
I was thinking about it today,
'cause I was on the plane home, you know,
and I was watching "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood."
Sort of at the beginning of the movie is,
you know, when they're--
Russo and Franks and Al Pacino's there,
and he meets Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio.
And he says, "Oh, who's your friend over here?"
And they just do this really intense,
sort of almost, like, very masculine handshake.
And I was like, "Ew."
[Chuckles]
Right.
I just--the way they filmed it,
these two men with the big hands,
it was, like, gross.
But, Nick, did you think that when you saw the movie?
No, no, it's all--
No, it's being on a plane
in the middle of, like, the coronavirus here.
The whole thing, everything,
it's, like, good red film.
Going to Florida the other week,
I found being on site at the festival totally normal.
You know, like, of course, like,
it crossed my mind, like, okay,
well, like, the people at the festival feel comfortable.
But for me, you know, just warming up backstage,
being on stage,
I'm not particularly close to anybody.
That didn't feel too weird.
It was actually just the travel part,
being on planes.
That's--there was something very unpleasant about that,
being on a plane.
And I swear, I'm sure it's changing day by day,
but on my plane home,
I saw a few older folks, I swear,
just open-mouth coughing,
just not giving a [bleep]
and it wasn't quite at the place yet
where I didn't see them getting glares or anything.
There were a few people with masks on the flight,
some vibes about it,
but it definitely hadn't turned a corner yet.
I imagine this weekend, if--
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure there's far less people flying.
Both of my flights to Miami were relatively full.
People were asking me, like,
"Yo, was the airport a ghost town?"
And last weekend, it was not.
I bet this weekend,
like, a week changes a whole lot.
- Man.
- There's no reason to, like, make predictions about it,
but my general sense is, like,
I really hope that, you know,
in terms of people's health and the spread of the virus,
that can be under control
and maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised in some way.
But I think no matter what,
it's just gonna be a very strange year.
'Cause just, like, psychologically,
with things getting canceled
and people not knowing what to do with themselves,
and I think there's gonna be all sorts of, like,
very strange secondary results.
- Economically and whatnot.
- Economically and then, of course, like,
people who have totally unrelated health issues.
You know, that's a big issue, is, like, over-related ICUs.
If you have a totally unrelated health issue,
I really just hope that we can halt the spread of this.
I just don't want to hear, like, brutal stories.
It's like, "Uh, yeah, my buddy, like, broke his arm,
"and he sat in the ER in agonizing pain
in the waiting room for 30 hours."
And I guess that's not even that bad compared to
"I Don't Want to Heart Street"
pulled out with imagining even worse scenarios.
But, like, that's the type of sh--
where it's, like, you don't want it--
you don't want it to get to that point.
♪ I thought I heard a baby cry this morning ♪
♪ Thought I heard a baby cry today ♪
♪
♪ You didn't hear no baby cry this morning ♪
♪ You didn't hear no baby cry today ♪
Well, hopefully this is our only TC
that we're doing remotely.
FaceTime crisis.
Hopefully, two weeks from now,
we'll have a better sense of the situation.
Maybe by then, Seinfeld, you could get
one of those temperature guns.
[coughs]
Well, I saw, like, in China very quickly,
they had these kind of, like, temperature guns
where they, like, pointed at you
and read your temperature.
Oh, sh--, I did not know about the temperature guns.
I guess it's a type of thermometer,
but it kind of looks like they just, like,
pointed at people.
And if your fever's too high, can't enter.
So maybe you can track down one of those,
and, you know, in two weeks from now,
if everybody's okay,
then I think we can get together.
We have to stay healthy, you know,
four to five feet apart from each other.
Which we normally are.
Yeah.
How are you guys doing with the face touching?
I feel like I'm touching my face more than ever.
It's like when you say, like, don't,
like, when you're meditating,
and you're like, don't think,
and of course, you think a lot more.
Or maybe I'm just more conscious
of how much I'm touching my face.
That's a tough one, 'cause also,
one would hope that if you're washing your hands
constantly, and you're only in one place,
like, scratching your, like, upper forehead
is not, like, putting you at serious risk.
But, you know, I get where they're coming from.
Oh, man, I'm washing my hands like crazy.
Like, they're all dry.
Yeah.
Are you in a bathroom right now, Seinfeld?
I am in a bathroom, yeah.
It's like, it's the best acoustics.
Is that Seinfeld's office?
No, I'm trying to reduce noise here.
Oh.
Or stay away from the noise.
Get a little nice natural reverb?
Yeah.
I just caught a glimpse of your toilet.
No, you did not.
I did!
Yeah, yeah, you were panning around.
Well, I'm in a bathroom,
but there is a toilet here.
Looks like a nice, clean bathroom.
Thanks.
Jake, what part of the house are you in?
I'm standing in the kitchen now,
which is proper TC, proper TC form.
I usually stand when we're taping the episodes.
Standing in the kitchen.
And I was sitting,
but then my phone started to die really quickly.
So I'm standing, plugged in,
standing over the sink.
Maybe bang out a few dishes
as we're taping, just...
What devices are you guys on?
Am I the only one on my cell phone?
No, I'm on my phone.
No, I'm on my phone, too.
Oh, [bleep]
Oh, wow, okay.
Ezra, you look very stationary.
Your phone is up against something.
Yeah, I put it...
I'm sitting at a desk.
All right.
But first of all,
I think it's great that they're cancelling all this stuff.
I think the appropriate way to think about it
is that the cancelling stuff
doesn't mean that they're reacting,
the world is so [bleep] up that like,
"Oh my God, we can't even do this."
It's a preventative move.
It's probably happening a bit late,
but it shows that people are taking it seriously.
Like, for the NBA to just suspend all games
as soon as they heard one player had been diagnosed,
like, good, perfect.
And like I said,
watching it from the perspective of the music industry
where, you know, literally one week ago,
people were saying,
"Well, they cancelled one festival in Florida,
but your festival's still on."
You know, and like kind of bargaining that way
to a week later hearing about Coachella,
Pearl Jam, things all around the world.
Live Nation,
which is one of the biggest promoters in the country,
has currently suspended all tours.
So like Billie Eilish just started her arena tour,
her Victory Lap arena tour.
I think she probably did two or three shows.
Pack your [bleep] Billie.
You're going back to Highland Park.
[laughs]
There's still a few random holdouts,
like people are talking about,
like, they're still doing WWE.
But, you know, as the weeks go on.
Yeah, I also don't want to, like, harsh anybody out,
but it's going to be--
the next couple of weeks are going to be weird
in terms of just more people realizing that they're sick.
The good news is if you have mild symptoms,
all you got to do is self-quarantine.
If you're in a place that,
like most parts of America,
you don't have easy access to a test or something.
But if you have very mild symptoms,
you just have to be smart not to infect anybody else.
You know, you have to help the professionals
triage a little bit.
Obviously, if you feel remotely like things are--
you've got serious problems breathing,
you know, look it all up, then you got to go.
But in the meantime,
there's going to be a lot of people
who have very mild symptoms, even no symptoms.
And if they stay put and don't party,
it should be all good.
Have you guys heard the phrase "super spreader"?
Yeah.
That's like kids, right?
It's anybody who just, like,
spreads the disease to a [bleep] load of people.
Like, there's, like, a model
who's, like, the super spreader of the fashion world.
There's a big outbreak in Milan,
and it was right during fashion week.
So, you know, a few models, fashion people,
become super spreaders.
They come home.
They're hitting the gym,
hitting the, uh, acai bowl place.
And I bet maybe for whatever reason,
some people also just, like,
they have no symptoms, and they're just, like,
the virus really just, like, goes to town on their body.
They're just super spreaders
spreading that [bleep] all over the place.
20, 30, 40 people.
This is why we're doing this remotely.
I didn't want to be a super spreader for the TC crew.
I don't know if I have it.
I'll never know.
But mild symptoms.
Yeah, well, hopefully that's that.
Yep.
I mean, there's even one school of thought.
Like, some people wondering,
is it possible that coronavirus has been in the U.S.,
like, way longer than people think?
I think it has.
It's kind of been a harsh flu season.
A lot of doctors and stuff,
and anecdotally, people have been saying
this is an unusually harsh flu season.
So is it possible there have been people
all around the country who, in December and January,
were just like, "Holy [bleep], man.
"I haven't had a flu like that in a decade.
Knock me on my ass.
I felt better after about a week."
Like, maybe they just had the novel coronavirus.
I think we know someone.
I think Hannah had it, or we think Hannah had it.
And when was that?
Okay, right after Sundance.
Ooh.
She went to Sundance.
So is that January?
Late January.
And do you remember, actually,
there was a TC episode that we had to postpone a day
because she was in urgent care?
Yes.
So that was that episode.
I met her in urgent care,
and she tested negative for flu,
but had, like, very intense respiratory problems.
And, of course--
I think it was steroids for the health of breathing.
And then a really intense cough,
and then really, really intense body aches.
And she was like, "I have not been this sick in, like, 10 years."
I've heard a lot of stories like that,
and a lot of it happened in January,
before anybody in the U.S.--
Well, people were talking about coronavirus
as related to Wuhan in China,
but before anybody was talking about it,
like, particularly spreading here or being a big deal.
So who knows?
Well, yeah.
And then, well, then, you know,
with the Washington State cases, it emerged that
it had been around for six weeks prior to being discovered,
which puts that--
And that story was, you know, a week or two ago,
so that puts us right back into late January.
So it totally would make sense that, like--
And Sunday, it seems like a complete breeding ground
for that kind of thing.
People coming from all over the world.
Yep.
People flying cramped planes, cramped hotel rooms.
You know what else?
A lot of glad-handing.
Ton of glad-handing.
So I might have had corona--
I might have had corona back in, like, early February.
Did you get knocked on your ass, too?
I didn't get knocked on my ass, but I did have, like--
She was really sick.
I kind of, like, felt kind of crappy for a few days.
Kind of like how I do now.
Well, yeah, just 'cause you get it once
does not necessarily--
unfortunately doesn't necessarily mean you can't get it twice, but--
See, I've heard mixed findings on that.
Right.
Yeah, I guess nobody actually knows what they're talking about.
None of us do.
It's like, maybe, maybe not.
Do you have the antibodies or don't you?
So you were thinking to yourself, all right,
my wife caught a bug at Sundance,
really took her down, she got what she needed.
I got it a little bit, too.
Felt a little [bleep]
but then it felt normal.
And then when the corona story slowly started
in the United States, like, when was that?
End of February?
Or mid-February?
Anyway, it was--
We were just like, "Whoa, maybe you had corona."
Anyway, it was gnarly.
Tom Hanks, also a super spreader.
Did you guys see Chet's message to the fans?
Oh, yeah.
Chet Hayes is a real legend.
Yeah.
For people who don't know, he's Tom Hanks'--
He looked buff.
He's Tom Hanks' rapper son.
He's in great shape.
He's got a killer body, a lot of tattoos.
And I've been following his career for a long time.
I'm glad that we can kind of steer this back to music world,
which really is our forte here at Time Crisis.
'Cause I remember there was a wave--
When would this have been?
Five or six years ago, maybe more,
where a lot of prominent Caucasian actors' sons
were pursuing rap.
I love dynasties, and I love rap,
so I was kind of, like, really struck by it.
And the two biggest ones were Chet Hayes,
who's Tom Hanks' son, and I believe--
He first came on my radar when he was an undergrad
at Northwestern.
Okay.
You familiar with the school in Chicago,
or just outside Chicago?
Sure.
It's a major school.
I've heard of it.
I think they have, like, a really good school journalism.
I'm not sure what Chet was studying,
but he made a song--
At the time, the Wiz Khalifa song "Black and Yellow,"
which is about the Pittsburgh colors--
Wiz Khalifa's from Pittsburgh, and, you know,
the Penguins and all the teams--
Pirates.
The Pirates, they use black and yellow.
So Wiz Khalifa had the song that goes,
♪ Black and yellow, black and yellow, uh-huh ♪
♪ You know what it is, everything I do ♪
♪ I do a big-- ♪
And so Chet Hayes, being an undergrad at Northwestern,
whose colors are black and purple,
he saw an opportunity to make a song--
I don't know if SoundCloud was around yet,
but he kind of self-released a kind of Northwestern pride song
that went, ♪ Black and purple, black and purple, black and purple ♪
Sounds tight.
I always love a human interest story.
Tom Hanks' son getting in the music game.
I like that.
And I was like, "You know what, man?
That's a pretty cool way to flip the Wiz Khalifa song."
Let me see if I can find the lyrics to it.
♪ So be true to your school ♪
♪ Class is to say good-bye ♪
♪ Just like you would to your girl or guy ♪
♪ Be true to your school now ♪
♪ Now that your colors fly ♪
♪ Be true to your school ♪
♪ I got a letter in a sweater with the letter in front ♪
♪ I got perfect on track ♪
♪ I'm proud of where I'm at with my crews around ♪
♪ The other parts of the town, I got a decal in back ♪
♪ So be true to your school now ♪
♪ Just like you would to your girl or guy ♪
♪ Be true to your school now ♪
♪ Now that your colors fly ♪
♪ Be true to your school ♪
You're listening to...
Time Crisis on BEAST1.
So he changed his name from Hanks to Hayes.
It sounds like a country singer, Chet Hayes.
It sounds like a country singer with just a little bit of hip-hop.
It's very like the past couple years.
Yeah, the Chet needs a country.
♪ And do the Chet Hayes ♪
[laughing]
♪ I'm smoking weed in my truck, do the Chet Hayes ♪
Yeah, like trap beat, just kind of like...
We're mixing hip-hop and country, man. Chet Hayes, you know?
Why they call you Chet Hayes?
Well, Chet, that's my given name.
And they call me Chet Hayes because I, you know, I'm just hotboxing my F-150.
I'm just in a whole haze of marijuana smoke, you know?
I'm Chet Hayes.
Oh, wait, excuse me. I was wrong about the Northwestern colors.
They're not black and purple. They're white and purple.
So he says, "These are the opening lines.
White and purple, white and purple, white and purple."
And then he says, "White kicks, purple kush.
This is college hitting blunts after hitting books."
Not bad. I dig it.
I made some rap songs in college. I'm not trying to shame him.
"Hear the neighbors talk, but you know that they be losing.
I'm trying to walk the walk for the major of my choosing."
Okay.
Okay, so he's like-- it's cheeky. He's having fun.
It's like not too self-serious.
When that song came out, I was very interested in it.
Around that time, Daniel Day-Lewis' son, Gabe Day-Lewis,
also released a rap video and I think maybe a whole mixtape.
And this was right around the time, and I was kind of like,
"Wow, this is kind of an interesting trend."
And not just any actors, you know?
These are like maybe two of the most respected Caucasian actors ever.
I mean, especially when you don't count the Italians,
because the Pacinos, the De Niros, the DiCaprios,
they're some of the biggest actors.
So if you don't count the Italians, you got Brad Pitt, Tom Hanks,
and Daniel Day-Lewis.
Those are the big three, I would say, of kind of white,
non-Italian white guys of that generation doing their thing in the acting game.
So, you know, I'm a trend spotter, so I was like,
"That's interesting. Both these guys' sons are rapping."
And Gabe Day-Lewis, he was much younger. I think he was still in high school.
And he put out a rap song, and I remember I was very interested in that, too.
I remember he took a lot of heat.
People were criticizing it, getting some haters.
And I remember about six months later, I looked for it to show somebody,
and it had almost been scrubbed from the internet.
Like Seinfeld. Maybe you can do a deep dive and see if you can find it.
You think he took it down?
Maybe he got, you know, it's hard out there for us artists.
You know, you got a lot of opinions.
You got your lovers, you got your haters.
Maybe he was a little young to, you know, take all that in.
And maybe he said, "Dad, I got myself in a sticky situation, man.
I was just trying to share my hip-hop with the world,
and now I got people making fun of me, and they're even dragging your name into it, Dad."
And Daniel Day-Lewis, he's a very powerful man.
He says, "Don't worry, I'll get this sh*t done."
And he calls him like a Hollywood fixer type, and he's like,
"You get this sh*t off the internet."
I mean, Seinfeld, what do you sing? Are you doing a live search right now?
I am, yeah. I mean, well, I can tell that Chet Hayes'--
some of his early hits have definitely been removed from the internet.
But I think Chet Hayes continues to own it and rap.
I think Gabe Day-Lewis kind of pivoted to being--
I don't know if he still makes music, but he definitely models now.
And maybe he was like, "You know what? I don't need this whole--
I don't need all the drama of being a rapper. I just want to be a model,
and I don't know, maybe make some more, like, tasteful folk rock or something."
Yeah, I mean, in terms of an artist who's going to face an uphill battle
in terms of audience goodwill, being a young rapper
and the son of a very famous actor would be hard.
Yeah. And I feel like--
You know what I mean? You're facing an uphill battle there.
And Chet Hayes--
It's a funny irony.
You know what? I think it's changing all the time.
I think, you know, Drake, he's not the son of a famous actor,
but even the fact that he's this Canadian guy who was a child actor,
and the fact that he went on to become one of the biggest rappers in the world,
that would have been totally unheard of.
And he kind of, like, eventually earned a type of credibility.
So, you know, it wouldn't shock me at the way things are trending,
you know, if maybe five, ten years from now,
maybe there's a younger actor now who doesn't have a kid.
I think in our lifetimes, you know, maybe Timothee Chalamet,
he might have a young son who raps, and by that point, people will just be like,
"He won't maybe face the same scrutiny as a Gabe Day-Lewis."
It does look like Gabe Day-Lewis pivoted from rap in 2016,
and he released an acoustic album called "Every Scar Is A Healing Place."
And he doesn't rap on it.
Doesn't rap on it. It's acoustic soul.
And he's got a SoundCloud.
I'm just trying to see if that's still up.
Yeah, there are a couple tracks on there, it seems.
Two songs off it on SoundCloud.
"Ink In My Veins" and another one called "True."
So maybe he was just trying to find himself musically.
Sure. Well, look, again, I'm not hating, because I'm somebody,
I've always loved rap. I've enjoyed, I love writing lyrics.
And there's a time in my life where I was like, well, hip-hop's like the most lyrical art form
and the most inspiring. I kind of felt like, is this what I should be doing?
And, you know, eventually, I realized, no, it's not.
Is this the Gabe Day-Lewis?
Oh, this is Gabe Day-Lewis?
Okay, it's more like a pop track.
Whoa.
Not a bad voice.
♪ Because it's left without a trace ♪
♪ Because it's left without a trace ♪
♪ Ink is flowing through my veins ♪
♪ Yeah, ink is flowing through my veins ♪
Not bad at all, man. All right. I'm not mad at that.
Now, so I think Gabe Day-Lewis, he pivoted relatively quickly,
whereas Chet Hayes, he came on the scene with "White and Purple"
rapping about Northwestern, and then he made some pretty serious mistakes.
I believe he had a whole thing where not only did he say the N-word,
he defended it on some sort of strange grounds.
I think maybe his reasoning was that he's really down with the culture,
something like that.
Have you heard his new Jamaican...
I mean, he's been doing these Instagram videos in a Jamaican accent.
I've heard about this, and I've actually heard from Jamaican people
that they're like, "You know what? He does the accent pretty well."
And look, maybe you're the son of a great actor.
You're probably going to be pretty good at accents and putting on voices
and things like that.
Maybe he's just rehearsing for an acting gig.
Maybe.
Maybe like a Miami Vice reboot, he plays an undercover cop or something.
♪ Let's go ♪
♪ I heard all about you ♪
♪ Everybody say you're trouble ♪
♪ But they want to be around you ♪
♪ Everybody seem to love you ♪
♪ I can't get enough of that ♪
♪ And I think I'm up for that ♪
♪ I need a couple cups of that ♪
♪ With me and you, we just just a match ♪
♪ We hit the floor, you break it down ♪
♪ You bring it up, you touch your toe ♪
♪ And you the baddest girl around ♪
♪ And you let everybody know ♪
♪ Heat, you on fire ♪
♪ You got that swag, you got that glow ♪
♪ You want to put on a show ♪
♪ You want to move it, girl, let's go ♪
♪ Girl, you put in work ♪
♪ Girl, you look so good in hurt ♪
♪ You get all the firsts ♪
♪ 'Cause I put in work ♪
♪ Yeah, you such a flirt ♪
♪ Say you want to play ♪
♪ Yeah, you're good, but girl, I do it better ♪
♪ Better, better, you know I do it better ♪
♪ Better, better, oh girl, I do it better ♪
♪ Better, better, you know I do it better ♪
The son of an actor becoming a musician.
I guess Robin Thicke kind of did that.
His dad was a well-known television actor.
Rest in peace. Yeah.
Yeah, rest in peace.
I feel like there's got to be another one.
I think there'll be more and more in the future.
But anyway, so I've known about Chet Hayes for a long time.
He's definitely made some mistakes, but, you know,
he's made some interesting music, too.
And he helps kind of spread the word about
what his parents are going through.
But look, it's going to be a big question here in Hollywood
because everybody loves Tom Hanks,
and so that made a really big splash.
And they hear about, "Okay, this guy's got coronavirus."
You hear it's not serious, good, but still,
you're going to be thinking about him.
He's one of America's sweethearts.
And then the question is, well, he's in Australia.
Did he get it in Australia, or did he get it
at a Beverly Hills luncheon?
And he's Tom Hanks.
He's going to be glad--
People are going to be coming up to him left, right, and center,
just like, "Tom, how the hell are you? Put a there."
People probably say, "How the hell are you?
Put a there to Tom Hanks 100 times a day."
- Oh, yeah. - He's shaking so many hands.
He's glad-handing. I mean, you know, and again,
this is actually-- it's serious.
People have been wondering about the presidential candidates.
These guys are glad-handing like a mother[bleep]
out there on the road, all sorts of people, you know?
Even if you wash your hands, still, like,
you're being exposed.
Yeah, and they're old as hell.
And Trump, too.
I truly wonder if we'll have an election this year.
I'm not trying to be alarmist.
I'm just, like, kind of thinking out loud, like,
will we-- you know, just a week ago,
people didn't think they would seriously suspend the NBA season,
postpone Coachella, cancel every--
essentially every large concert happening,
and now we're here.
So are there things later in the year
that currently seem unthinkable that could happen?
- Yeah. - Such as postponing the election?
I mean, aren't there more primaries, like, on Tuesday?
I mean, I don't even understand how they can, like, count them.
It's going to be weird as hell.
Yeah.
And there's a debate, right, on Sunday?
- Yep. - Biden and Bernie.
Like, it's going to be--
there's going to be no audience for it, I assume.
It's going to be weird.
Could you imagine voting?
Could you imagine going out and standing in line to vote?
- On Tuesday? - Absolutely not.
No, absolutely not.
Even if you're not personally scared,
just you're getting so much messaging
from intelligent people saying, like, don't be in crowds,
don't go places unless it's essential,
like, no, a lot of people are not going to feel comfortable voting.
It's going to be really weird.
So, you know, again, my hope is that the human suffering
in terms of, you know, death and pain and scarring
and all these bad things that the virus can cause,
I really hope that that can be minimized and controlled,
but even so, there's going to be weird vibes all year.
So I think we all have to mentally prepare for that.
Man.
So, you know, maybe, Jake, you got to make
a special Tasteful Palate of the '70s playlist for 2020.
- Because I got to say-- - A healing list.
A healing list.
Because, yeah, you can kind of take the best of all your playlists
where you got a little bit of New Age,
a little bit of The Eagles, a little Dead, a little Rod Stewart.
Because I got to say, the--
Peaceful, easy feeling.
I really think that America needs
the Tasteful Palate of the '70s right now
because there's something about, like,
new, innovative, futuristic music
that when you're in a certain mood,
it feels like that's the direction you want to go in,
but we're hitting this giant roadblock as a society right now.
And I think, you know, there's a lot of old wisdom
in some of that old music,
and you want to hear some of those Tasteful analog sounds.
And actually, you know, the mind-body connection--
I was watching a Marianne Williamson
coronavirus meditation video last night.
Cool.
It was right before I went to sleep.
It was recommended to me by YouTube,
and they have very sophisticated algorithms,
so they clearly thought that I needed to see it.
So I started watching Marianne Williamson
talking about coronavirus hitting,
and she was like, "Don't scoff at the mind-body connection."
And I'm with her on that, you know?
Might sound a little hippy-dippy, but I'm with her.
The research backs it up.
It sounds hippy-dippy, but, you know, a lot of stuff.
You know, the mind-body connection, it's real.
So then she starts going into a meditation.
I fell asleep in about two minutes.
That might have been my body taking her messaging
and putting it to use.
I probably just needed some sleep.
But look it up if you're a Marianne Williamson fan.
Then I woke up the next day,
and I started thinking about the mind-body connection, man.
I'm like, "You know what?
When you're sitting at home,
we all got to really make sure,
especially because the number one thing
that a lot of people sitting at home are going to do
is spend a lot of time on the internet."
-Yep. -And there's--
I hate to say it, and guys,
just tell me if I'm going too far,
but there's a lot of bad vibes on the internet.
That's my take.
-Scathing take.
-Social media, YouTube comments section, 4chan.
There's a lot of bad vibes on the internet.
-Even just streaming terrible reality shows
on Netflix all day is not good
for the mind-body connection.
-No, totally.
I think now's the time, and I feel it, too.
You know when there's a lot of news happening
and you get a little bit addicted to your phone?
Sometimes I put my phone down,
and I swear I feel like my brain is jumbled.
-Oh, yeah.
-You know what I mean?
I was actually talking to my boy--
I mean, none of this is particularly novel as it takes.
People have said this in so many words for decades now,
but I was talking to my boy about that feeling
of just brain jumbledness
when you're on Twitter too long,
and he's somebody who's a hardcore Bernie supporter,
and he found the last couple weeks very stressful
and just constantly looking at info.
And he was talking about the feeling
that he's had many times
where he's looking at Twitter
and being, like, harshed out
and be, like, looking at some sh--
that he doesn't like,
and his brain goes,
"Man, enough of this bullsh--.
I wonder what's happening on Twitter."
And then he opens another tab of Twitter.
[ Laughter ]
-Wow.
-And that's some real sh--.
I mean, certainly everybody's familiar
with getting kind of stuck in the app loop
where you're just like,
"Oh, yeah, I want to look something up."
And the next thing you know,
you've opened and closed Instagram five times.
You're like, "Instagram, email, text,"
you know, like, you do that thing.
We've all done that.
-New York Times, Twitter, Instagram.
-Yep.
And a couple times recently
when I've, like, really spent some deep time reading,
like, a paper book,
I really did feel like my brain
settled into, like, a different wavelength.
And not even 'cause of the content of the book.
You know what I mean?
-I totally do.
I was reading a novel.
I was reading the new Michelle Welbeck novel
this afternoon on the couch.
Made the point of just, like, really, like,
"I'm going to pound out a few hundred pages on this book."
And it's a book about --
It's sort of like a classic, like, French existentialist novel
about, like, the meaninglessness of contemporary life.
And this guy's, like, a middle manager from Monsanto.
-Oh, really?
-Yeah, it's really good.
-Is it co-written with Neil Young?
[ Laughter ]
-Wait, is that -- -They should do an audiobook.
-What's that book called?
-It's called "Serotonin."
-All right, so, Michelle -- All right, yeah.
Michelle -- I've also heard it pronounced "Hula-beck"
or something, but -- -Oh, I thought it was "Well-beck."
Anyway, I was just -- -That might be right.
Who knows?
-I was just so into the rhythm of the book
and just, like, lying there and, like --
It sounds so dumb.
It shouldn't be this novel an experience
to lie on the couch and read a book for, like, two hours.
-No pun intended, or maybe pun intended.
Did they originally call novels "novels"
because it was, like, novel?
[ Laughter ]
Like, it was kind of like an innovative new art form,
and it's like, man, that's pretty novel,
just, like, writing a story on paper.
That's quite a novel way to communicate, man.
-Dude, "Cervantes," man, "Rerook," "Don Quixote,"
that was super novel at the time.
-Yeah, it was -- -You know, you're right.
It derives from the Italian novella for "new,"
short story of something new.
-Which is funny, man.
It's funny because kids today, they think of novels
and the whole art form as being kind of old.
[ Laughter ]
But that's life for you.
-♪♪ Through the woodland, through the valley ♪♪
♪♪ Comes a horseman wild and free ♪♪
♪♪ Tilting at the windmill's passing ♪♪
♪♪ Who can the brave young horseman be? ♪♪
♪♪ He is wild, but he is mellow ♪♪
♪♪ He is strong, but he is weak ♪♪
♪♪ He is cruel, but he is gentle ♪♪
♪♪ He is wise, but he is me ♪♪
♪♪ Reaching for his saddlebag ♪♪
♪♪ He takes a battered book into his hand ♪♪
♪♪ Standing like a prophet mole ♪♪
♪♪ He shouts across the ocean to the shore ♪♪
♪♪ Till he can shout no more ♪♪
♪♪ I have come o'er moor and mountain ♪♪
♪♪ Like the hawk upon the wing ♪♪
♪♪ I was once a shining knight ♪♪
♪♪ Who was the guardian of a king ♪♪
♪♪ I have searched the whole world over ♪♪
♪♪ Looking for a place to sleep ♪♪
♪♪ I have seen the strong survive ♪♪
♪♪ And I have seen the lean grow weak ♪♪
-You know, it's been weird in L.A., too,
because as the coronavirus is sort of, like, unfolding here,
we're also right at the beginning of a week of rain,
like a full week of rain.
-Oh, yeah. The vibe is so strange.
-So it's sort of like, "Okay, everyone stay inside
and, like, watch the rain through the window."
It's, like, very un-L.A.
-I know. I was listening to some rain songs today.
-Zeppelin? -Well, no, the first one
that came to my head was, ♪♪ I can't stand the rain ♪♪
♪♪ Bump, bup, bup, bup, bup ♪♪
Do you know that? It's like a '70s --
-Who's that by? -Wait, who's it by?
Ann Peebles is her name.
I don't know if she had any other hits,
but she's, like, a '70s singer.
It was famously sampled by Missy Elliott in the '90s.
But it's, like, a super-cool song because it opens with,
like, must be, like, a Moog,
some kind of '70s analog synthesizer,
kind of doing these, like, funny blips that almost are,
like, a synth version of, like, the sound of raindrops
on a window, so it opens with ♪♪ Bump, bup, bup, bup, bup ♪♪
♪♪ Bump, bup, bup, bup, bup, bump ♪♪
♪♪ I can't stand the rain ♪♪
♪♪ Against my window ♪♪
So the first 15 seconds are, like, so futuristic.
♪♪ Bringing back sweet memories ♪♪
♪♪ Yeah, when the rain ♪♪
And then, you know, you're back in the '70s.
♪♪ Oh, wow, you remember ♪♪
You know, it's, like, just a great soul song with a good groove.
♪♪ How sweet it used to be ♪♪
♪♪
♪♪ When we was together ♪♪
I love "When L.A. Rains," but it is a little bit apocalyptic
during the time of corona to get a week of rain.
Like, a full week is kind of crazy.
It's strange. It's very strange.
But, yeah, I think, again, not to be pessimistic,
I think staying at home and self-quarantining is a good thing,
and we should be optimistic that people are taking it seriously,
but we do have to make sure that us in the "Crisis" crew
and the larger "Crisis" community
are taking care of our brains and bodies.
And I got a real problem, man, because the only way
that I can really get, like, any exercise done
is when I schlep to the gym.
We might have to, like, conference call in
and, like, do some routines together.
-Would love to. -Push-ups, sit-ups.
And then, also, I really do believe keep the mind sharp.
Yeah, like, I love what you're saying, Jake.
Sit on the couch with a goal.
I'm gonna read this book.
And, also, one thing that I've found,
like, sometimes I need that reset of reading books.
Like, I might just, like, when I'm on tour or something,
I usually buy, like, a really heady book, you know,
just, like, some, like, 800-page, like, critique
of, you know, global capitalism-type book,
which is, like, Thomas-- -Heady.
-Yeah, some [bleep] like that.
And you, like-- I moved through that at, like, a snail's pace,
and then, sometimes, I'll just grab, like,
just some, like, easy-reading, like, conversational,
like, memoir.
I bought Lily Allen's book when I was in England.
I just saw it on, like, a table, and, you know,
I've known Lily for a long time. I think she's cool.
And I was just, like, you know, she writes
in a very clear, straightforward manner.
You just, like, hear the story of her life.
And I banged that out in, like, three hours,
just, like, read her book cover to cover,
and I was kind of, like, even if it's choosing a book
that's just, like, the story of somebody's life
that you're interested in.
That, I find, is, like, a good way
just to get you back into the groove of reading.
'Cause, yeah, being on your phone all day in the house,
alternating between phone, computer, and TV,
bad. Bad odds. -Rough stuff.
-Mm. -Real rough stuff.
I guess even as far as it goes, like,
sometimes being on the phone and social media
scrambles your brain so much
that actually watching a full movie
even on your laptop is actually, like...
Even though it's still screen time,
it's, like, significantly more elevated screen time,
where at least you're focused on one thing.
-Like, I'm gonna rewatch "The Irishman,"
and I'm only gonna stop it once.
You gotta set rules.
-Only for bathroom breaks, yeah.
-That's what's so great about... Oh, go ahead.
-Well, I was gonna say, and also, I know a lot of people are...
I'm challenging everybody to elevate their intake a little bit,
because this is a, you know...
This stuff is chicken soup for the soul, man.
And I know a lot of people are being like,
"Well, what series should I binge while I'm home?"
And people are like, "Oh, you should watch, like, 'Love is Blind.'"
And, you know, I watch these shows, too.
-I watched it. It was brutal.
-You're very anti-Love is Blind?
-Anti, but continue... I mean, you know...
-Well, look, I found it's very watchable,
and you want to find out what happens.
-Of course I do. -A lot of people are, like,
are saying stuff like, "Oh, man, yeah,
give me some, like, super binge-worthy series,"
you know, just to burn through.
And sometimes when you do that, you just really become, like...
You get super zombified, and I'm, like,
the kind of more, maybe, like, highbrow elitist version of that,
which I'm gonna challenge myself to do.
And listen, I'm not special.
I like trash stuff just like everybody,
but the highbrow version is not,
"Give me, like, a reality show to zone out to for 40 episodes."
It's maybe, like, work your way through the catalog of a filmmaker
that you're interested in.
-Right. -You know?
I started watching the films of Kelly Reichardt.
-Oh, I'm psyched to see her new movie.
First Cow?
-Yeah, they better get that on the streaming service's stat, but...
-Yeah, they better. -Yeah, I was curious about that, Jake.
I was thinking about you, 'cause people don't know
Kelly Reichardt is a filmmaker,
and she's based in Portland, Oregon,
where Jake used to live. -Yep. Oh, yeah.
-And some of her best-known movies are...
These kind of just, like, vibey, slice-of-life
Pacific Northwest films,
like "Wendy and Lucy," which is Michelle Williams
as a woman driving to Alaska with her dog,
and she kind of gets stuck in a town.
And it's, like, you know, a real slice-of-life movie
about, like, the hardship she faces.
And there's "Old Joy," which is, like, two buddies from college...
-Yeah. -...going for a hike, basically.
-Yeah. -And I like those movies.
And then I know she's got her, like, period pieces,
"Meek's Cutoff," and I guess it's the one...
-Have you seen that one yet?
-I started watching it on the plane.
I was like, "You know what? This is not a plane movie."
Just, like, holding my iPad, watching, like, this very slow...
-Yeah. -...like a three-minute shot
of just, like, the covered wagon
kind of, like, entering the frame.
And I'm just, like, sitting there on this flight
watching old people open mouth cough,
and I'm just like, "This is not taking my mind off [bleep]."
-You know?
Dude, you should get baked and watch "Meek's Cutoff."
-That's a baked movie?
-Well, the beginning is. It gets a little violent, but...
-Bacon-meek?
[ Laughs ]
But are you a fan, Jake?
Does she capture something about the Pacific Northwest sensibility?
-Yeah. I mean, I'm a fan.
I don't know if I can -- I can't speak to the sensibility
of the Pacific Northwest, but, I mean,
I'm definitely a fan.
I mean, I've only seen her movies once.
You know what? Like, I don't know them super well.
I saw them when they came out.
And I missed the last one. What is it?
"Certain Women"? "Women of a Certain Age" or something?
-Yes, something like that. "Certain Women."
-I remember just loving "Meek's Cutoff."
Just, like, the formal beauty of that film.
And, like, the patience and the light.
It's very up my alley.
-There's something I like, also, about
working your way through a director's "of."
-Yeah.
-Which is that, in a sense,
it's like zoning out to a series,
except it triggers the slightly more critical thinking
part of your brain, because it's like,
you end the film, and then you've got to pause
and be like, go on Wikipedia and be like,
"So then, three years later,
this is what they chose to do.
And how is it similar?
And how is it different?
And who did they bring along for the ride?
Some of the same actors."
It's like, you're kind of walking through
an artist's life a little bit,
but it requires a decent amount of concentration
and brain power to go from one film to another.
-Yeah.
-If you watch three films in a row
of filmography in a day, that's exhausting,
but you really have used your brain.
You were just like...
With certain filmmakers, you might have just
literally walked through a decade with them.
-Oh, yeah.
-Three films back-to-back.
-Who else are you thinking about watching?
-I was thinking about...
I've seen most of his movies,
but I might
start from the top with David Lynch.
-Wow.
-I'm a huge fan, but I feel like
the last time I watched "Eraserhead,"
which is his first movie,
I was like a teenager.
-Sure. -I might have even been 13 or something.
So I'm such a huge fan of his.
I've watched "Twin Peaks" multiple times,
but I'm kind of like...
It would be cool to see the movies
back-to-back-to-back.
-What did you think of "The Return"?
-I never finished watching it, but I loved it.
I watched maybe the first
five episodes, and I loved it.
I thought it was vibey as hell.
I was so thrilled that
Showtime would spend that much money to make something
that provocative and weird.
I'd like to finish it one day.
-Did you see...
-Oh, sorry.
Go on, Sando. -Oh, just the eight-minute
sequences of just, like,
bubbles and [bleep]
-Yeah. -Remember, there'd be, like,
there'd be a whole first act that was just, like,
texture. -There'd be stuff like that,
but then he would always drop a scene
that reminded you, like, he's not just
a vibe guy. He can, like, craft,
like, perfect scenes
with suspense and, you know, all that
[bleep] as well as anybody.
And, you know, it's about the mix of the two things.
Don't let yourself be hurt this time.
When I saw your face.
When I saw your smile.
Yeah, I don't know, Jake.
Does that get you thinking?
Some self-isolation homework for the TCU.
It's a highbrow binge.
It's a challenging highbrow binge.
It's the TC highbrow binge challenge.
Listen, guys, and again, we're not shaming anybody.
We're all lowbrow guys at the end of the day.
Oh, absolutely.
I know if TC, our heart, at its heart, it's a lowbrow show.
Because there's more wisdom in the lowbrow than the highbrow, but still, this is the
moment to point in a different direction and do the highbrow challenge.
The TC highbrow binge quarantine challenge.
And even, you know, like, yeah, pick some like...
Yeah, you could binge someone that's not so highbrow.
You could binge like Peckinpah or something.
Yeah, you know, that's also a good one too, because I feel like watching like pre-1970
movies, even pre-1980 movies, it's like something that you rarely want to do.
But almost every time you do it, it's like very rewarding.
Yeah.
Like, watch like...
You know, I often have this issue where it's like, I'm like, on tour or something, I can't
sleep and I'm like, what do I want to watch?
And I'm like, and like, I end up throwing on like some, you know, some old ass like
black and white movie or something.
And first five minutes, I'm like, what am I doing?
Let me just get back to my usual trash.
And then there's always like a turning point 10 or 15 minutes in where I'm just like, you
know, it like triggers something in your brain.
You're thinking about like, whoa, what was it like when they made this movie?
What was life like?
Is this an accurate depiction of that stuff?
You know, like watch some LA film noir from like the late 40s.
I find personally, it's like really hard to like pull the trigger.
But then once you do, you're like, holy ****, why don't I do this more often?
Fully agree.
Another version of the highbrow challenge would also be to like pick a year.
And you know, you got to see what they have on your streaming service.
Also say to everybody, now is a great time to do your free 30 day trial of something
like the Criterion channel.
You know, like, understandably, not everybody wants to shell out to be like, have a million
streaming services, but now's a good time to do your 30 day trial of the some of the
lesser known ones.
Isn't there one called like Mubi?
M-U-B-I?
Yeah, that's something where it's like, I think on the Criterion channel, you can choose a
year and a country.
That's also cool is be like, I'm going to watch like three movies from 1971 today.
That also falls under the highbrow binge challenge.
Well, I think I'm going to call that playlist old wisdom.
Old wisdom, man.
Highbrow challenge, old wisdom.
I think also just like right now is a good time to like pull back.
Our society has been going full throttle for a long time.
I guess this is also, this is me trying to craft, I'm trying to craft an optimistic take
for the listeners and for us and for most of all for myself.
But I'm like, one way of thinking about what's happening right now.
And again, everything I'm saying is like, first and foremost, praying for the best for
everybody gets affected and has a tough time with the disease, which will be a lot of people.
It's f*cked up.
But for anybody who's not sick or only mildly sick and just like kind of stuck at home,
which is going to be many, many, many people.
Rather than thinking of it as like, oh my God, things have fallen into disarray.
You could think about like, our society has been like too full throttle for a long time.
This is definitely a negative thing that's happening.
But if you're looking for the silver lining, many people are being forced to pause, chill
and kind of like take stock.
People say this all the time.
Man, I got so much to catch up on.
Everybody's telling me to watch this and that.
It's like, we don't have to live on that like razor's edge that like, that the front of
the train just barreling into the future.
Like, you know, take a moment, dig back into that old wisdom.
Now's the time.
Because things are going to slow down.
At least in showbiz.
Obviously, there's still going to be new things coming out on the streaming services that
they already made.
But things are definitely going to slow down in the live music industry.
So now's the time to be like, maybe not sweat being on the cutting edge quite as much.
Dig into that old wisdom of music, old wisdom of film, the golden age of Hollywood.
Have you guys ever seen like Sunset Boulevard and like these just like basic ass like golden
age of Hollywood movies?
I've never seen Sunset Boulevard or Citizen Kane.
Just watched it.
You didn't want to understand Boulevard.
No, Sunset Boulevard.
Citizen Kane is maybe one that I don't know if I've seen Sunset Boulevard.
I just watched.
Did no.
Did you watch it?
Because Trump referenced it?
No, no, it was pre that it was probably six months ago or something like that.
Oh, right.
Trump was like, now that's a good movie.
Not like that was the best and weirdest movie.
Yeah.
And but it is, I would say for the binge challenge, if you haven't watched it, you
have to.
It's unbelievable.
Highly recommend.
Highly recommend.
Couldn't be more highly recommended.
It's like it was made now.
Wow.
Yeah, you should definitely.
It's not boring.
It's gripping.
It's no, no, it's not.
It's and it's it's weird.
It's really good.
Well, people talk like, man, you know, nobody does.
It's like a 1940s voice.
It does not have it doesn't have.
No, highly recommend.
I think maybe Trump has now.
Yeah.
Now it's sort of turned it.
It sort of leaves a weird taste in my mouth.
Now, yeah, that's like one of those dudes.
I think I've seen some of his movies, but it's like it's totally some like film class
thing where we're like an older person.
It's like, I mean, Billy Wilder, maybe the best director of all time.
And you're just like, really?
He's the guy.
I've seen this movie double indemnity, I think.
He directed all these movies that you've always heard of.
Sunset Boulevard, Sabrina, The Seven Year Itch, The Spirit of St. Louis, Some Like It
Hot, The Apartment.
Wow.
No, he's a major dude.
I've heard all those movies and seen none of them.
He directed about 40 movies from 1929 until like 1970.
Time Crisis, Billy Wilder Challenge.
We're going back to back to back to back with the Billy Wilder Challenge.
God, maybe I should.
I'm going to watch Sunset Boulevard.
That'll be if you're going to watch to watch Sunset Boulevard and watch The Apartment.
And then if you're going to watch three, watch double indemnity.
But you certainly watch The Apartment and Sunset Boulevard for the Billy Wilder TCU
Challenge.
OK, I'm doing it.
I'm totally on board.
The last like old movie I watched was right when Kirk Douglas died.
Somebody was like, you should watch The Bad and the Beautiful.
And it's a 1952 American melodrama that tells the story of a film producer who alienates
all around him.
And it was one of these movies where it's like, was it?
Do I truly think it's like an excellent movie?
It's hard to say.
But by the end of it, I was just like gripped by watching this like it was so strange watching
a movie from 1952 that was kind of like a tribute to the previous 30 years of Hollywood
because it's like a showbiz story where all these people turn their back on this like
producer even.
And it's this kind of complicated story where you keep going into the past.
It was one of those movies where I was like, I'm really glad I watched it.
It's also not the type of movie I would like hit you guys up and be like, yo, have you
seen The Bad and the Beautiful 1952 Kirk Douglas vehicle?
Because I can't recommend it in the same way if I just saw a movie I like.
But it's that same feeling of like, it's a weird glimpse into a bygone era.
And then it's also funny because that movie in 1952 won five Academy Awards.
And so even that is just like the thing where you're like, this movie meant a lot, at least
to people in the industry in 1952.
They're gonna put me in the movies.
They're gonna make a big start out of me.
We'll make a film about a man that's sad and lonely.
And all I gotta do is act naturally.
Well I bet you I'm gonna be a big star.
Might win the Oscar, you can never tell.
The movie's gonna make me a big star.
'Cause I can play the part so well.
Well I hope you'll come and see me in the movies.
Then I'll know that you will plainly see.
The biggest fool that ever hit the big time.
And all I gotta do is act naturally.
You're listening to Time Crisis on Beats 1.
You having yourself a teca-- what are you having yourself, a beer?
Yeah, IPA.
Alright, I like that.
Well you know, one thing that I wanted to bring up is, it might be in bad taste, but
I'd be remiss not to mention this, when coronavirus first started hitting the news,
I saw a lot of tweets and jokes about Modelo virus.
Right, didn't like that at all.
I mean, first of all, it's not funny to joke about coronavirus, but at the same time,
I guess, you know, you don't want to harsh people out, people, you know,
gotta deal with their stress somehow, so maybe a few jokes are okay.
But Modelo virus, I mean, it's bad enough what's happening to Corona the beer brand.
Supposedly their sales are way down.
Although I also kind of wonder if just beer sales are down generally.
You're more of a beer guy than me, Jake, but when I think about feeling like sick,
or like I'm about to get sick or something, beer is the last thing I want to drink.
Yeah, that's fair.
Maybe it's like from being in college or something.
I just associate like pounding ice cold beer with like getting sick.
You know what I mean?
Even more than like, I don't know, like tequila or wine or something.
Just take like crushing five beers on like, or maybe it's even earlier.
It's like high school, just like standing with like some like can of beer in like the woods somewhere.
I only did that a handful of times.
Like, just like, dude, I got a fever coming on.
It's like, I feel kind of sick. And then yeah, just being like, like a week of illness.
Yeah, just like being like a kid, just like crushing a few, like cans of like Natty Best.
Yeah, in the woods somewhere and just being like, oh, it's really cold, right?
Yeah. Also, just like classic teenager, just like totally improperly dressed.
It's like a 90s East Coast winter.
Oh, yeah.
Or no, this would be more like early 2000s for me, but it's like 29 degrees.
Just like a bunch of like 16 year olds holding cold beer, wearing fleeces.
Drinking cold beer outside when it's cold.
Yeah.
So early.
Yeah, so **** dumb, I bet. I mean, hopefully kids are smarter.
I think kids also just fit in the woods less.
It's also funny, I don't even live near the woods.
The woods.
I mean, they'll just find like woods. Actually, the woods.
I guess there's some woods, but it's like where I live is like super dense, New York City suburbs, like town after town after town.
But there was this like weird place that was like the woods.
And looking back on it, it couldn't have been more than like one square kilometer of woods.
Because I remember you entered it through the parking lot of a bowling alley.
Like you could totally just like hear cars like.
It's like, yeah, but it was just like that's like kind of like pathetic suburban version.
I'm sure we got some TC heads who are just like, man, us real rural kids.
When we went to the woods, we went to the woods.
But it's like that kind of like suburban version where it's like it's just enough woods that you can only like you can't see any.
Like you can't see civilization except for like car lights.
So you just pretend like, man, we're in the woods.
It's like a half acre of woods, like in between a subdivision and a strip mall.
Yeah, exactly. I'm very familiar.
Also, those woods, like when there's like not that much woods in a suburban town, weird stuff happens in those woods.
There's like kids drinking. But also, I don't know about you guys, but like I can think of three different occasions when I found insane amounts of pornography in the
woods.
That's definitely the thing that you like experience. Like, yeah, I think part of it is that in that era, there was pre-internet.
It was pre-internet, that's for sure. Yeah.
And there definitely be there be the thing.
And this probably still exists to some extent of just like kids leaving the woods because they have to come back.
They need a place outside the house similar for drugs or beer.
But also in that era, and I'm sure it still exists.
And people, you guys tell me if I'm wrong, I might be getting some dicey territory here.
But obviously, there's always been homeless people in America.
It's always been a great shame of American society, how many homeless people there are.
We need to do better in terms of housing and take care of people.
But there's a very specific figure from kind of like the 80s through the 2000s.
There's probably just in terms of time passing, there can't be as many of these people.
And maybe this came from a movie.
But I feel like this is the thing kids would always talk about, which was the idea of a Vietnam vet who lived in the woods.
You know what I mean?
And of course, there's always been homeless people.
And of course, because our country is so f**ked, there's always been a disproportionate number of like vets end up on the streets.
Because they aren't taken care of and that nobody's there to help them with their PTSD.
And, you know, is this come from like Rambo or something?
That was always this thing that kids would like half joke about.
But I'd never be sure about that where they'd be like, "Oh, yeah, one time, like my older brother and his friends are in the woods.
And there's this like weirdest Vietnam vet who lived there.
And he like had like a whole thing."
Like, it was like a thing.
Does this ring a bell for you, Jake?
That character strikes me as very tri-state.
The Vietnam vet in the woods?
Lives in the woods.
I don't know if you get down to Virginia, you got the Vietnam vet that lives in the woods or something.
I've never heard that one specifically, but it just reminds me of like, yeah, like 20th century America where there'd be like, like every town had like the one hobo.
It was sort of like the harmless hobo that would like sleep on the bench.
You know what I mean?
Like that seems like a funny like archetype that like maybe existed.
This character was a little more nefarious.
But also...
Yeah, that's weird.
The reason it really stuck with me, and again, this also happens a lot.
Like when you're growing up and you hear all these like, "Well, my older brother" type stories.
And then like, it happens like, then you're like, you know, in your late 20s, early 30s, you watch a movie and you're like, "Wait a second.
Somebody told me this is fact once."
You know, like some weird story.
So this might be one of those things.
I definitely can think of...
I'm sure this character exists in popular culture and I'm sure it's real here and there.
I've heard like really wild stories about like, and I guess they're not always necessarily veterans, but of people who lived for decades in the woods.
There was some guy, was it in Maine or New Hampshire?
There was the story of a guy who lived in the woods for decades and he only got caught.
And basically, he wasn't even all that self-sufficient.
He wasn't like some like genius hunter type dude.
He would just kind of like walk into town and like steal people for decades.
I forget.
For some reason, I feel like that story was in Maine.
Maybe the reason it stuck with me so much is obviously there's a million different ways that somebody can slip through the cracks in our society to become homeless,
right?
It could be through drugs.
It could be just like a series of decisions that were out of their hands.
It could be somebody lost their job or their family.
You know, there's a lot of ways that people could end up there.
So, there's something about this character, the man in the woods, that always like, there was like this baked in narrative that it was somebody who felt not just let
down by society so they ended up on the streets, but betrayed by society.
So, they ended up in the woods.
You know, it had like this extra element.
That's maybe why it always like stuck with me.
Well, the Unabomber, wasn't he?
Ted Kaczynski?
Yeah, that.
Was he a Vietnam veteran?
No.
I don't think he served.
He was a Harvard veteran.
Just like he had his intensity.
You know, I was actually just talking about him with a friend of the show, Despot.
Oh, who's obsessed, right?
Some people might know.
Well, Despot owns a decent amount of the Unabomber's belongings.
That's truly insane.
He's talked about it.
It's not a secret.
But I think basically, for whatever reason, the FBI did an auction once.
And I think Despot was just like, sure, I'll buy a lot.
So, he got like a lot of his, you know, like in the auction sense, a lot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so, he was like, he was posting on Instagram.
On his feed, he was watching a new documentary about the Unabomber.
They'd be talking and they'd be like showing like, doing like a Ken Burns Zoom
on like a picture of like the stuff the FBI found.
Like a Tide box that he would like had all these like weird makeshift tools in.
And then he would pan from his TV to his coffee table to just be there.
Oh my God.
He's shown me stuff like a pair of shoes that he made where he like put like a
different type of soul underneath the real soul.
So, you know, he's like a very intelligent guy.
Yeah.
So, I was thinking about like him and he's, you know, if you read his stuff,
he's, he did terrible things.
But you might agree with one or two of his ideas.
Absolutely not the way he went about trying to implement them.
Needless suffering and cruelty, hurting people.
He was like this very like, we need to get back to nature, anti-technology.
It's leading us down the wrong path.
Dude, old wisdom.
I won't go quite as far as to say the Unabomber had old wisdom, but he, um,
He had a sprinkling of old wisdom.
He messed up.
Big time.
But I couldn't help but think because this was only a few days ago.
And I couldn't help but think, man, I wonder if he's, he's sitting life in prison.
And I wonder if he's hearing about coronavirus and being like, thank you.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like it seems like really up his alley.
Just this idea of like, this is what happens to society that, you know,
a globalized society.
Yeah.
Anyway, I have a memory.
This is also funny.
Just thinking about the figure of the, I hope if TC heads, please email us.
Did you grow up in a place where there was a story of a man in the woods?
And I'm not saying about a man of the woods, like Justin Timberlake.
I'm talking about a man in the woods.
And because I feel like I bet we got a decent amount of listeners right now.
No, totally.
Yeah.
Just did a quick numbers crunch.
And if you look up Vietnam, that lives in the woods.
Yeah.
Right off the jump.
Vietnam veteran emerges from woods is one story.
Other year.
These are not same stories.
A homeless vet living in the woods, a 79 year old veteran lived in New Jersey
in the woods.
There's a whole organization.
Oh, maybe that was my guy.
That might've been your guy.
And then for Vietnam veterans, Florida woods are the home.
I mean.
Whoa.
Yeah.
I think the reason that it's like such a compelling story and it's one that
stays with you is because again, we know people end up homeless for a lot of reasons.
We know our society and our government doesn't do enough to help homeless people.
Doesn't know.
Doesn't do enough to help veterans of any war, but there's something about
picturing that war in particular, where all these Americans were needlessly sent
to be traumatized in the jungle for something, even our government barely
believed in.
And the idea that they come home, they feel alienated by both sides of the
political spectrum, or at least by the status quo and that they end up, so to
speak back in the woods.
It's like a very unique story that pertains only to that war and that
particular veteran experience.
So yeah, I wonder if this is just like, are there a lot of people coming back
from Iraq and Afghanistan living in the woods or just like, they have a totally
different set of problems and responses to the problems.
There's something specific about Vietnam vet in the woods.
That's like this story.
And as I'm talking about it, when I'm picturing that little patch of woods by
the bowling alley in New Jersey, like, and again, I wasn't like a big partier in
high school, but you know, you just end up at these events here and there.
Me with my kind of like, you know, more like music friends and like the
hardcore, like athletes are like in a different circle, just like really
crushing bruise.
I have this memory of this girl who is a one year younger than me.
Her name was Siobhan, a real Irish Jersey girl named Siobhan.
And I swear I have this memory, although it's one of these things like, is this
like a story somebody told me, but I have this memory of being in that place and
there being a man in the woods, a type of like homeless man in the woods, that
type dude that was like partying with everybody.
And I have this memory of maybe he was in a wheelchair.
And I have this memory of her like sitting on his lap.
Or maybe that was like a story at my school.
That's like, that was like, you know, Siobhan like sat on the dude in the
woods, his lap and they crushed bruise together.
Dude, couldn't this be like a Jordan Peele movie, like man in the woods?
And it's like some weird, like war veteran who's like living in the woods
behind like the, like the Bed, Bath and Beyond.
This, right.
Well, we got to, we got to research this because I mean, definitely, I think
there's a Rambo movie where that could be the TC lowbrow challenges.
Watch all the Rambo movies.
Dude.
First, I mean, first blood is like legit good movie.
Is he living in the woods in that?
Or is that like the second one?
All the other ones take place overseas.
I think, I think the second one, he goes back to Vietnam, but the first one
takes place in Washington state and he's visiting the widow of his buddy.
They got killed in Vietnam.
He has kind of long hair and stuff.
So he kind of looks like a heavy.
And then the like local small town sheriff is like, we don't like your
kind around here.
Get out of here.
He like puts Rambo in his car and like drives him to the edge of town.
And it's just sort of like Santa Malibu deadbeat style.
Oh yeah.
Right.
And then Rambo was sort of like, you could see it all in his face.
He's like, I served my country.
I don't know why I'm being like, like disrespected.
He turns around and starts walking back into town.
And then the cop is like, what did I tell you?
Get the hell out of here.
And Rambo's like, no, I'm walking into town.
I'm an American, you know, the cops like, get the hell out of here.
Hippie anyway.
And then all hell breaks loose.
He goes into the woods and goes like full commando on all these like
small town cops in Washington.
Great movie.
Okay.
I mean, I wonder if there's an element of truth to it.
This idea that returning Vietnam vets were spit on by hippie
protesters is a very controversial idea because it kind of makes the
left look really bad.
So people, when people bring that up in modern politics, people are
like, that's an urban legend.
No hippies were spitting on Vietnam vets when they got home.
Oh, it sounds so harsh.
And whether or not that actually happened, I'm sure on the most basic
level that there was a dude, a clean cut, like all American veering
right wing type dude goes to Vietnam comes back.
Like, what do I even believe in?
Why was I sent here?
Why was I forced to kill?
Why did I watch?
Maybe you even have like, you know, some crazy dude in your battalion
or some, you know, there are all these stories who like committed war
crimes.
You might come back totally up and then like you come back and you're
like some, like you have long hair, like a hippie.
And maybe you do try to like hang with the hippies.
And of course, there of course hippie, a lot of hippies embrace
returning veterans.
And there were organizations of veterans that were anti-war, but maybe
you you're in a town where you can't quite get down with the counter
culture, but you're also this like shell shock long hair dude.
And you got the right wing conservative cop also being like, you
yeah, that is the type of shit that makes you want to live in the
woods or in the case of Rambo, just like go buck wild.
Yeah.
But yeah, I'm curious if there's other movies that have this
archetype.
Rambo.
They beg for mercy like the Lambo.
No, they told me kill them all.
Damn, no.
I know they want to see me follow where I am, though.
On two feet.
That's why I stand up.
I'm a true killer like Rambo.
No ammo.
They see me on the same.
Yo, I just kill him because I can't.
I'm as humble as they come.
But you can with the wrong one.
Boy, you can with the wrong one.
It's a new pingriff.
You watch it.
Get a home run.
Watch him hit it.
That's a home run.
I am playing with you because I'm a true Louisville and I'm the
real estate acrylic.
The niggas that they doubted.
I'm flipping up.
What's always the money count?
I've been getting up by the pay myself allowance and I save
it like the bell.
I can't say no more.
Else the dance of my soul.
That's the day I go to hell.
Been putting on a show like Dave on Chappelle.
They make it in the credits.
I'm a tell him.
Oh, well, tell Steve, don't let no more bitches in the hotel.
It's gotta get to work.
I'm gonna let you go.
I'm twerking.
So I lay this verse on.
Damn, this lifestyle got a lot of perks on it.
I'm just saying.
There's a comedy called Drillbit Taylor with Owen Wilson.
Did I reference this on the show before?
Second time.
Last week.
Didn't we talk about it last week?
Maybe.
I got to rewatch that.
I think maybe the big reveal in that movie is that he's not a
vet.
But in the beginning of it, he's living in the woods and he's
wearing like, like, you know, an army jacket, almost implying that
he was like some special ops type dude.
So, yeah, this character definitely exists.
And I got to, you know, it's really funny too.
When I'm picturing this image of the girl from my high school, the
Irish Jersey girl sitting on the lap of the old vet in the woods
in a wheelchair, I kind of picture it almost like a David Lynch
thing where it's like, it's like that weird kind of late 80s,
early 90s indie movie slow-mo where there's like sparks coming off
the fire and it's all kind of like, like, like hazy.
So now I'm like, is my mind recreating this like memory that's
really just like taking like mixing real experiences with other things.
Anyway, I want to research this further.
Let us know if there were any men in the woods where you grew up
and what their backstory was.
Maybe this is the first scene of a movie that you write someday
about Jersey.
Jersey Rambo.
Yeah, like a friend of the show Jonah Hill did that movie about
kind of 90s skateboarding.
Mid-90s great film.
Yeah. What if you did like a Jersey movie someday?
And just like that girl sitting on the dude in the wheelchair's lap.
That's so deep.
It's almost like the Jersey version of like some Harmony Korean
like gummo type.
Yeah.
You could combine. Yeah. Kind of like gummo with like spring scene
with like, I don't know, man. Rambo.
New Jersey. The year 2000. Jersey 2000.
Oh, wait. So anyway, how did we get on that?
That was a pretty epic rabbit hole for us because we were talking
about crushing bruise when it's cold.
And I always thought that up because I was talking about
Modelo virus.
I mean, again, this might be bullsh*t, but I've had a lot of people
say we should all be drinking hot beverages just because if you have
any, you know, anytime you get sick, hot beverage helps maybe kill
some of the viruses or bacteria in your throat and whatever.
And, you know, you get I'm sure you guys have got some of these
like a billion times forwarded emails where somebody's just like
I'm a virologist and I know about this.
But anyway, I've heard people be like, yeah, if you're towards
warm beverages or hot beverages.
Yeah.
So anyway, I guess my point was when people there's all this talk
about people being like, this is like the type of thing it feels
like a year ago, but it's only like a week ago.
It was like, ha ha.
Americans are buying less Corona because of they're scared of Corona
virus. And I was like, maybe they're just buying less beer.
You know, you just hear about like people getting sick.
You really want to drink any beer.
I bet Madela is down to.
Yeah, it's winter.
It's not beer time.
It's not beer time.
But, you know, yeah, it's funny that like teenagers and college
kids, it's like that they're so into like crushing cold beer,
maybe just because it's easy because it's like it's actually a
really pleasant experience when you're older and you like go to
a dignified kind of event, a cool fall or winter event where
people are standing outside and it's cold.
Maybe it's a Renaissance fair and somebody gives you mulled
wine or something like that.
It's actually really nice to drink a hot alcoholic beverage,
a hot toddy.
Dude, when you're sick, like hot water with honey and just a
little nip of whiskey.
I'm in.
I might do that tonight.
When we go into production with Sweet Chili Heat, we should come
cook up some hot, straight up hot tequila drinks.
Oh, hell yeah.
Dude, so it could be like a hot tequila drink and, you know,
not just you guys know Spanish better than me.
You got Caliente, but you also got Picante.
Wait, sorry, say that again.
In Spanish, Caliente means hot temperature.
Yeah, hot.
And Picante means hot, like spicy.
OK, yeah, like the Picante sauce or whatever.
Because basically what I'm proposing is.
Wait, what am I thinking of?
Who speaks Spanish here?
No, no, no.
Picano is small.
You're right.
I think Picante is maybe a pepper.
Like Picaliente, like something hot and spicy.
Yeah, well, so I'm saying when Sweet Chili Heat takes, because a
lot of times I think an alcohol really goes to the next level when
there's like a special drink that you do with it, you know,
like a seven and seven.
I'm not even totally sure what that is, like ginger ale and whiskey.
But, you know, like then people like you become the go to when you
have like a drink like that.
So I think Sweet Chili Heat tequila, we got to create.
Exactly.
So we got to create a special cocktail.
Maybe it's called like a double hot or something because it's got
that little kick because of the Sweet Chili Heat, but it's also hot
temperature wise.
And I know down Mexico way, it's famously, it's a hot country.
Although it can drop down at night down Mexico way.
But in the US, we want people to know, like, listen, man, you know,
just because time crisis is, you know, for the most part, a California
based kind of laid back chill out show.
It doesn't mean, man, that you can't be, you know, drinking Sweet Chili
Heat in like Minnesota in December.
But we want a special double hot drink.
I don't know what you put, you know, it's almost like a mulled wine
plus tequila.
It's like a hot, hot, hot tequila drink.
I like this.
That'll require some more R&D.
Double hot sounds pretty good.
There used to be a band called Hot Hot Heat, right?
Yeah.
I'll reach out to them.
That would be a pretty sick drink name, Hot Hot Heat.
Hot Hot Heat.
[MUSIC - HOT HOT HEAT, "HOT HOT HEAT"]
These bandages cover mother's graves.
Cuts and bruises from regrets and mistakes.
I've been hoping you're moving around the street again.
I've been tripping from sipping and dripping dirty water.
I've been poking a voodoo doll that you do not know I made.
These bandages are anonymity.
I've been shaking from making an awful disaster.
I've been running and running.
Feels like my head is spinning round and round, around, around,
around, around, around.
Bandages on my legs and my arms from you.
Bandages, bandages, bandages.
Up and down on my legs and my arms from you.
Bandages, bandages, bandages.
It's time for the Top 5 on iTunes.
OK, so for this week's Top 5, I'm
going to jump off for this because I'm hitting a wall.
You look tired, bro.
I'm tired.
But I do want to say, as people self-isolate
and they're going to have to do this for a while,
I actually think that when you're home alone,
this hang we just had feels really good.
And I would encourage TC heads and reach out to their friends
and have these sort of hangs.
Because this was like, we just hung.
And it was great.
So I think-- and it's going to get dark.
I mean, you start spending like seven days, two weeks,
where you really aren't allowed to go hang out,
it's going to get dark.
But this actually, this kind of FaceTime hang, this is it.
Oh, absolutely.
And I just encourage everyone to do it.
I think the younger generation--
I've noticed people under 25, or maybe under, I don't know,
under 20, I don't know.
But young people, like kids and young adults or whatever,
some of these kids live on FaceTime.
So they're kind of used to it.
But for that more like silverback millennial TC listener,
you might not have that rapport with your friends,
where you just like FaceTime for two hours.
I mean, I've seen this with like--
I never do.
Yeah.
So the silverback millennials, let alone the Gen X.
So I think, you know, step outside your comfort zone
and be like, hey, guys, we've literally never FaceTimed.
Let's start however you want to do it.
You can do a multi-person FaceTime or Google Hangout,
whatever floats your boat.
But like, yeah, especially our silverback millennials,
don't be scared to step into that kind of group video chat
world.
All right.
Get some rest.
We were supposed to have Aaron Olsen in the studio today,
because there's a new LA Takedown record coming out.
Oh, yeah.
Check out that new LA Takedown.
Which it comes out on Friday, or it came out on Friday.
Sorry.
And for people who don't know, Aaron's a great musician.
He's got a project, band, whatever you want to call it,
called LA Takedown.
That's his main thing.
But he also plays in Richard Pictures.
He plays bass in Richard Pictures.
It was basically his idea to start the band.
And we'll have to reschedule with him.
Yeah, we got to go deep with him.
Next time we're in studio, we will get Aaron in there
to talk about Richard Pictures, LA Takedown.
And he also plays bass on most of the Mountain Bruce stuff,
right?
He plays bass on all the Mountain Bruce stuff.
Oh, tight.
And he's a real legit dude.
And for his record release show, which I think was canceled
or postponed until April, they were going
to play all Doors covers.
Hell, yeah.
He's a real one for that.
Totally.
Flying the flag for Jim.
Oh, yeah.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
The top five on Apple Music right now--
Remote top five.
Yeah, remote top five.
So Colin, you said that the top five on Apple Music right now
is all Lil Uzi Vert?
What?
Wait, how does that work?
Because right now, here's what gets tricky in this era
is that, Jake, when a hot new album comes out,
such as Lil Uzi's long-awaited new album, for the first week
or more, often the whole album will just
have the top 10 songs on the streaming service.
I hate it.
Yeah, so it's not very good for internet radio,
but all props to him.
But let's just listen to a little bit.
It makes our life very difficult.
Yeah, so we're not going to do that.
So we can switch to Billboard.
But before that, I do want to give Uzi his props
and listen to some of his music.
Jake, do you remember the name Lil Uzi Vert?
I've heard the name.
I don't know who it is.
I don't know his music.
I think his biggest hit was the song
where the chorus went, "Take me to the edge.
All my friends are dead."
Do you remember that "All My Friends Are Dead" song?
Yeah.
OK, well, that's him.
But he's hugely popular.
All right, let's hear a little bit of "Baby Pluto."
Just--
Baby Pluto.
[MUSIC - LIL UZI VERT, "BABY PLUTO"]
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
I turned to a addict.
I brought me a paddock.
I brought her a baby with me.
Yeah, I brought me a Maybach.
It came with two doors.
Yeah, that's a Mercedes.
I stay with the baddest.
I'm counting the cabbage while making my lady go spin.
I brought a G-Wagon.
It was a Brabus.
That's why I be racing.
Yeah, we brought the four-door.
Had to get ready for war.
Yeah, we brought the four-door.
Had to get ready for war.
Yeah, we brought the four-door.
Had to get ready for war.
Yeah, we brought the four-door.
Had to get ready for war.
I got static in my city.
Who with me?
Pull up with this 30 and this chopper hold a 50.
And I heard that [BLEEP] Mickey.
That's too risky.
Now he spray his car, spray his window.
Inky, inky.
She keeps sucking on my [BLEEP]
trying to get me hicky, hicky.
Well, I swear that [BLEEP] too, and sticky, sticky.
I kicked her right out of the front door.
I'm picky, picky.
And every time she gonna come out--
This song have no drums, or am I not hearing it correctly?
It'd be sick if there was a huge drum
fill in the air tonight.
Yeah.
[HUMMING]
Like, three minutes into the song, massive drum fill.
Yeah, yeah.
Hold out, hold out.
I mean, that's kind of a big moment with a big 808.
Pull up.
Hold out, hold out.
[HUMMING]
Hold out, hold out.
Red rubies on my neck.
The brick, it came with a vick.
I can teach you how to flick.
The drink, boy, it came with a vick.
All right.
I'll have to spend some time with this on my own.
Congratulations to Lil Uzi for occupying all five slots
on the Apple Music streaming charts.
But let's take a look at what's hot on Billboard right now.
So the number five song right now on the Billboard charts,
I think this is the debut on the Billboard charts right now.
This is Lady Gaga with her comeback single "Stupid Love."
And I got to shout out my boy Blood Pop.
He worked on "Father of the Bride."
He's a friend of mine.
He's mostly known for his pop production.
He worked on "Sorry" for Justin Bieber, among others.
I'm sorry.
[LAUGHS]
Too late now to say sorry.
But as I've said many times, the real heads will remember that Blood Pop,
he only worked on a few songs on "Father of the Bride."
But one of my favorite "Father of the Bride" moments
is that weird kind of guitar-sounding solo on "Unbearably White."
[HUMMING]
I've said it's not a guitar.
It kind of sounds like some slide or pedal steel,
but it's Blood Pop doing his weird stuff.
So that's him, among other things on the record.
So anyway, he's been working hard with Lady Gaga for a long time.
And this is the first single back called "Stupid Love."
[MUSIC - BLOOD POP, "STUPID LOVE"]
So this is the first Gaga we've seen since "Star is Born," huh?
Exactly.
So I think for fans, this is seen as being like back to pop.
Right.
None of this acoustic bull [BLEEP]
Yeah.
And it feels right.
This sounds like what you want from a Lady Gaga back to pop moment.
[MUSIC - BLOOD POP, "STUPID LOVE"]
Didn't Blood Pop also produce "Friend Like You" from Neo Yokio?
Neo Yokio, that's right.
Another one of our collaborations.
Nice, Seinfeld. Deep hole there.
Yeah.
Great track.
Oh, thank you.
[MUSIC - BLOOD POP, "STUPID LOVE"]
You know, it's also got that Madonna energy.
Oh, big time.
Late '80s Madonna, specifically.
Yeah.
[MUSIC - BLOOD POP, "STUPID LOVE"]
Wow.
Uncanny, actually, how late '80s that is.
I think she and Madonna have a strained relationship from what I've read in the tablets.
Right.
Is Madonna just sort of like, you're just ripping me off kind of thing?
I think a little bit.
Didn't John Lennon kind of throw shade at the punks?
Oh.
He definitely threw shade at a lot of people.
I think Lennon threw shade at the punks and was sort of like, come on, man.
I mean, a lot of those guys did.
Jerry did, too.
True.
I think the Gaga, Madonna beef came from Born This Way, right?
Yeah, that was a song that really sounded like a Madonna song.
But here's the thing.
It's like, Lady Gaga is doing her own thing.
It's like, yes, she's very indebted to Madonna.
Maybe she just didn't kiss the ring enough.
But Lady Gaga's got her own--
She has her own thing image-wise and persona-wise.
But musically, she doesn't.
And I feel like Madonna kind of did.
I like Lady Gaga, and I think that's a great song.
I think that's a great comeback song.
But I will say one thing.
And I'm not trying to jump into the beef.
You know me.
I'm a peaceful man.
But I will say, it struck me many times over the past five years.
And of course, she's very successful, and she does huge tours and all this stuff.
There's a weird air of disrespect around Madonna,
which doesn't befit her iconic trailblazing status.
You mean in general, or with Lady Gaga specifically?
No, just in general.
And look, most artists, they reach a point where they're older.
She must be pushing 60 now.
Yeah.
So they reach a point where they're older.
And if they don't start making tasteful jazz records,
people are kind of like, oh my god, you're still trying to do pop.
People get like, there's that kind of thing.
And I think she's taking some chances.
I'll be honest.
I haven't spent a lot of time with her last few records.
Nope.
Neither have you, Jake?
No, I have not.
I haven't cracked those open.
I would actually say it wouldn't be that out of character
if you were randomly super into Madonna.
No, I am.
I think we've discussed this.
Oh, you are?
OK.
I think she has, of the last 30 plus years,
of all the major pop stars, the strongest catalog, hands down.
Oh, absolutely.
So many good songs.
I think we probably discussed on the show also how, I think,
in the '80s, for a few dead shows, Bob Weir wore a Madonna t-shirt.
Oh, wow.
I don't think-- that's news to me, actually.
Oh, you're not really?
I'll send you a picture of Weir wearing the Madonna shirt.
But it's really hard to, especially when you're that much older,
to recapture the magic of when she was in her 20s
and just changing the world as a pop star.
Of course.
Maybe people don't--
I can't think of any pop star who, in their 50s,
releases many albums that people are as excited about.
But I just feel like there's this weird air of disrespect around her.
And it's like, she's up there with the Princes and the Bowies
and the Cognys.
It's like these people who had pretty unbelievable 15 to 20 year runs
of changing culture and innovating.
She really set the template for the modern Caucasian girl pop star.
And great songs.
I'm not as interested in changing her image every record.
That's never really appealed to me.
I've always just been like, her song book--
and granted, she's not writing a lot of this stuff.
It doesn't really matter.
Her song book is so solid.
No, no, but she's a real writer, with collaborators.
There are certain pop stars who maybe the bulk of their catalog,
they did not write.
Madonna's not one of those people.
She has a hand in all of it, as I understand it.
Or let's say a significant percentage.
Sure, sure.
So anyway, congratulations to Lady Gaga.
Great comeback single.
But I want to talk more about this.
Guys, let's put some more respect on Madonna's name.
Or if you have a reason to disrespect her, I'm curious.
Where's it coming from?
But she's an icon.
Do you remember the initial concept of Time Crisis
was to have people come on the show and squash beefs?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That'd be a big get.
Gaga and Madonna on TC, squashing beefs.
I'll just put that out there.
Madonna, Gaga, you're both welcome to come on the program.
Let's hash this thing out.
We might have to bring in Elton John, too.
He famously got caught on mic.
After they were beefing, he got caught on mic talking about it
with an old friend of his who was interviewing him in Australia.
And he went on this whole thing about, Madonna, you pack it in.
She looks terrible.
Oh, my gosh.
She's embarrassing herself.
Let Gaga have her moment.
And then he apologized for that.
Oh, my god.
Anyway, it's funny.
When Stupid Love came out two weeks ago
was just a very different moment than right now.
I wonder how that'll fare.
I heard Stupid Love.
I just heard it blasting out of places.
I was in West Hollywood, which is like--
Lady Gaga is very popular there, in my experience.
And I heard it blasting out of spots.
And it felt like this big moment.
Her pop single is back.
But it's the kind of song that makes people want to, I think,
dance, go out, exercise.
I don't know.
It's not a real stay-at-home song.
The number four song on the Billboard charts right now--
this has been out since last August--
it's Post Malone's "Circles."
Do you remember this one, Jake?
Kind of.
I just saw a trailer for a new Mark Wahlberg film on Netflix
that Post Malone's in.
Oh, really?
The Spencer one?
Yeah, yeah.
Could watch that in between Billy Wilder movies.
Wait, so this came out in August?
Yeah.
Still crushing it.
[VOCALIZING]
Kind of a Tame Impala vibe.
Yeah.
Well, actually, Post Malone described this
as being a Fleetwood Mac vibe, which I get what he's saying.
It's not his usual kind of trap pop.
But yeah, totally Tame Impala.
(SINGING) But no, I ain't too proud.
I couldn't be there.
Give it without a try.
Could all believe it.
Yeah, that sort of stripped down, very drums forward
sound of Tusk.
Yeah.
Like those Lindsey Buckingham songs on Tusk.
Or even just on "Rumors," it's got a kind of like "Dreams" vibe.
(SINGING) Run away while we're running in circles.
Run away, run away.
I dare you to do.
This is a quote from Mark Wahlberg
about shooting the movie with him.
"The day came where he was supposed to shoot a scene,
but they didn't even know if he was in town.
So everybody's panicking because musicians move
to the beat of their own drum."
Very true, I can say from experience.
"They don't adhere to schedules, but he was in his trailer
pounding Bud Lights.
We were heading over to the real jail to shoot,
and Post is trying to bring his 12-pack inside.
I was like, you can't bring a 12-pack of Bud Light
into the jail, bro.
It's not going to happen.
I said, I could probably get one beer for you
in a Dunkin' Donuts cup."
Nice.
That's that real Masshole vibe.
Yeah, dude.
But where's Post from?
Post is from Texas.
That's a Texas bad boy meets a Masshole.
That'd be a more interesting movie to me,
Masshole versus Texan.
[LAUGHS]
Post is like, bro, let me bring my Bud Light.
And he's like, I could probably put it in a Dunkin' Donuts cup.
Yeah, I'd much rather watch a documentary
about the making of that film than the actual film.
Totally.
All right, let's go to the number three song.
Oh, Dua Lipa, "Don't Start Now."
Jake, do you remember who Dua Lipa is?
You know the name?
I know the names.
She's an Albanian-English pop star.
She's huge.
[MUSIC - DUA LIPA, "DON'T START NOW"]
I've noticed people getting a little more into analog sounds.
Although, then there's that Weeknd song that goes full 80s sense.
So I don't know.
But this is going to some classic--
this song, to me, also sounds so English.
It's just like there's this genre of English pop disco
from the '90s and 2000s.
Yeah.
It's different than '70s disco.
It's English pop disco.
No, it's very '90s.
It reminds me of the Cardigans.
Remember that band, the Cardigans?
I could see a little bit of that.
Yeah, they're a great band.
[MUSIC - DUA LIPA, "DON'T START NOW"]
Well, this part sounds very 2010s.
But the verse was very '90s.
I got to say, I've been liking everything I've been hearing off
of this Dua Lipa album so far.
Full length.
There's another song called "Future Nostalgia."
It's kind of doing like a--
almost like a spoken word, like Madonna
rapping on Vogue kind of thing.
Mm-hmm.
It's pretty good.
No, Dua Lipa's cool.
She's a real one, too.
She tweeted last week basically being like, please,
everybody vote for Bernie Sanders.
Interesting.
Love that.
You know what?
Last time we talked about it, we were like,
why aren't all the old guys coming out?
And after that, Neil Young came out and endorsed Bernie.
Crosby, too, right?
And Crosby.
Light endorsement, not an official endorsement.
Yeah, Neil Young was more passionate about it.
Crosby was like--
I feel like he was just kind of like--
yeah, just like in between being like,
Jim Morrison was an idiot.
And he's like-- then just like somebody asked him a question,
he's like, y'all vote for Bernie.
But anyway, seriously, Jay and the Americans
were a bunch of losers.
[laughter]
I met Gary Puckett once.
It's a little [bleep]
[laughter]
Wait, Seinfeld, you reminded us recently
on the TC thread that you once tweeted at David Crosby
asking him what he thought of Vampire Weekend.
Yeah, I'm trying to find that--
And what did he write?
Yeah.
Wasn't it like, what's that or something?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly what it was.
Honestly, I'm glad that's all it was,
because I could picture a universe where Crosby was like,
heard him, not a fan.
Where it could have been just like negative.
Just like, I caught him on TV once.
Caught a wink.
Yeah, pretty weak, man.
And then I would have had to get in his face,
because he talks a lot of [bleep]
but Jake, you were backing me up on this.
I don't-- you know, I like Crosby, he's a legend,
but he talks too much [bleep]
and I don't mean to do a low blow here,
but of Crosby, Stills, and Nash,
he is the least accomplished songwriter.
By a mile, folks.
By a mile.
And look, he's got a beautiful voice,
he's an absolute legend,
but when you're the least accomplished songwriter
in Crosby, Stills, and Nash,
you think you'd learn a little humility.
You don't need to be always talking [bleep]
about Jim Morrison.
Maybe he's coming from a place that we don't understand.
Hard agree.
I mean, look, his first record,
I wish I could remember my name.
Is that the name of it?
Yeah, yeah, that sounds right.
Great record.
It's real vibey and like, kind of droney.
There's only like two real songs on it,
and he makes it work, but yeah.
Not a songwriter, per se.
It would have been cool if there was a David Crosby character
in Once Upon a Time in America.
Hollywood?
Timothee Chalamet plays a young David Crosby.
I need to learn some more young actors' names
for movie flights of fancies.
I feel like you need someone a little stockier.
Oh, um...
Dude, Miles Tauber.
Harry Potter.
Daniel Radcliffe.
Just throw Hannah.
Wait, who'd you say, Jake?
Miles Teller, dude.
Oh, yeah, he could do it.
He's kind of like stocky.
Has that same nose.
What about Ansel Elgort, Baby Driver?
Oh, yeah, I think if you throw the '60s Crosby mustache on him,
it could work.
Sure.
Okay, the number two song,
Future, "Life is Good," featuring Drake.
You know what, Colin?
Cut it, cut it.
I don't want to listen to the song again.
I'm sick of this song, and you know what?
Life isn't that good, fellas.
Wow.
This does not speak to the moment.
All right, what's the number one song?
Oh, still Roddy Ricch, "The Box."
It's unbelievable.
This song has been number one on the charts
for like three months almost.
This seems like a more appropriate--
Everybody who sells quarantine right now is really in the box.
They're not busting out the box.
Wait, wait, hold on.
I think--I never caught that line before.
He's talking about somebody wiping a person's nose.
Wow.
I didn't know that there's a reference
to nose wiping in this song.
And when did the song come out?
Oh, man.
What, last--
Came out last December.
And this is important.
Sam, can I get a number crunch?
A lot of people have told me this,
and I think it's worth knowing for sure.
Is it true that runny nose is not a symptom
of the COVID-19?
So the symptoms are cough, fever,
and shortness of breath.
So not a runny nose.
So if you're just--
I've read all these accounts,
I'm sure everybody else is like this,
where people are describing all sorts of other symptoms,
and then I tested positive.
My only symptoms was a headache and diarrhea.
And you're just like, "Jesus."
Yeah.
Can't we get on the same page about this?
But anyway, it seems--
Maybe this is true, then.
People keep saying it's not runny nose.
So if we got any TC heads at home
with a runny nose freaking out,
take a deep breath,
check, and then ask yourself,
"Do I have tightness of breath?"
And if you don't, and you got a runny nose,
just go back to the Billy Wilder Film Festival,
and don't freak out.
Oh, but you know what, guys?
I don't want to be a super spreader
of misinformation here.
I'm looking at a CDC document
that says that patients may also have
a runny nose,
nasal congestion,
sore throat, diarrhea, aches and pains.
I mean, it's kind of like everything.
Okay, well--
It's not helpful at all.
I think the most important thing is just like,
don't freak out if you have symptoms.
Monitor their severity.
'Cause there's still people out here getting the flu,
out here getting regular colds,
which are caused by other coronaviruses.
People got allergies.
There's a lot happening at once.
So, you know, monitor it,
and keep your eye on it.
All right, well, guys,
my feeling at the end of this episode
is not that different than an in-person TC.
I feel like we hung out,
we went deep.
It's kind of a weird energy, but--
And look, we talked about coronavirus,
but I think we had enough flights of fancy
that we didn't dwell on it the whole time.
So hopefully we got the right mix of--
[phone chimes]
Oh!
Oh, no.
I think we just lost Ezra.
I think his phone died, maybe.
Right as he was kind of reaching the crescendo
of his conclusion there.
Anyway, great ep, guys.
Yeah, it's just me and Jake left.
Trying to call him back.
Yeah, this is the real skeleton crew here.
Well, Seinfeld, great seeing you.
I hope to see--
I see you for next show in person.
Yeah, man, I hope so, too.
This feels like a one-off.
We shouldn't do this kind of show twice.
No, no, this feels like a real--
[laughs]
This really met the moment.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, I don't think Ezra's picking up.
So anyway, TC fam, stay safe and rest up.
See you guys in two weeks.
[announcer] Time Crisis with--
Oh, [bleep] my phone died.
Sorry, guys.
Jake?
Seinfeld?
All right, they had to bounce.
I get it.
Anyway, this was Quarantine Time Crisis.
We hope all the TC heads are being safe,
doing what you got to do to not get sick
and not help spread coronavirus.
And if we got anybody who's a first-line type person,
you know, a responder, somebody who works in health care
or who has a job where you have to keep going out,
thank you for what you're doing to help keep things running,
and also you'd be especially safe.
We'll see you guys in two weeks.
We'll figure out a way to keep this thing going.
Peace.
[announcer] Time Crisis with Ezra King.
[beeping]
[announcer] Spore One.
One.
(music fades)
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