Episode 200: Time Crisis 200
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Time Crisis
Number 200
After 398 hours of content
We're finally ready to take it all the way to 400
We'll take a walk down memory lane
And talk to some TC legends
All this, plus new music
From Oliver Anthony Music
This is Time Crisis
With Ezra Koenig
They passed me by
All of those great romances
You were a pelt from beneath
All my rightful chances
My picture clear
Everything seemed so easy
And so I dealt you the blow
When a bus had to go
Now it's different, I want you to know
One of us is crying
One of us is lying
He's a lonely man
Time Crisis, back again, episode 200
Alright lads, we did it
Can you believe that? 200 episodes, 400 hours of content
I can believe it
We've been doing this 8 years
8 years?
Well, yeah, 8 years
Good God
That's insane
Started in 2015, it's 2023
I mean, compared to a lot of shows, 200 episodes, that's nothing
That's true
But we're slow and steady
We gotta grind even harder
We've been grinding pretty hard the past 8 years
Coming up with 400 hours of content, but
What I'm hearing is that we need to grind even harder
Buckle down
Yeah, I guess it does feel like, when you put it that way, 8 years
I know, it's really messed up
That it's been 8 years
Crazy
One, that time would go by that fast
Yeah
And that two, we would still be doing this, like, dumb show
Yeah
The good part about it is
That the reason it doesn't feel like 8 years
Is because we do it at a leisurely pace
And the truth is
Whether mics or not
Apple music or not
This show is happening
This is just our life
It's true
We live this sh*t
We're not like some of these internet radio shows
And/or podcasts
People are just, you know, tilling the earth
Trying to create content
We would be having these exact same conversations
No matter what
We're gonna take some walks down memory lane
As I think we need to on episode 200
We've got some special guests
And we'll be looking over a bit of TC history
But before we get into that
I wrote myself a note on my phone
I wrote this a week ago
I wrote, "Next TC
Duncan Pumpkin Spice Signature"
So I must have seen something that I thought would be good for Time Crisis
Can you guys get something up about that?
Okay, so I see there's a Duncan ad that says
"All in on pumpkin"
"A fresh way to pumpkin at Duncan"
"New pumpkin cream cold brew, pumpkin spice signature latte"
"And more fall into Duncan restaurants earlier than ever before"
And there's a press release on the Duncan website
It's dated August 11th, 2021
Okay, so we're really late on this
Maybe this is something that they do every summer now
"It may still be warm outside, but Duncan is turning up the pumpkin heat"
"Earlier than ever before with an incredible fall menu"
So I guess Duncan's been kind of playing catch up with Starbucks for a while
The thing that's been cracking me up about it is
There's something about
And of course, I love Duncan, I ride for Duncan
But obviously, when people think of a pumpkin spice latte
They think of Starbucks
Starbucks is why the PSL is a part of the public consciousness
And there's something that I kind of love about
Duncan having to name their pumpkin spice latte
And you can totally imagine somebody's like
"Well, we don't want to seem like we're just kind of playing catch up with Starbucks"
And somebody says like "Let's make it seem like almost like we own this"
Someone's like "Pumpkin spice signature latte"
It's like backwards engineering, as if this is Duncan's signature drink
They're working so hard to try to seem like
"Yeah, we've always been doing this, it's our signature latte"
What does that even mean? "Pumpkin spice signature"
It's a little bit sad, but it's also kind of funny
If I wanted a pumpkin spice latte, I would go to Duncan over Starbucks
Oh, absolutely
I mean, the problem is that they're rolling this out way too early
It's late August, it's 98 degrees outside
In some parts of the country
I guess you could get... Can you get that as an iced pumpkin?
That sounds nasty
Oh yeah, there's plenty of iced pumpkins
Yeah, any of that sort of iced frap
And Starbucks is...
Corn syrup, coffee drinks, that's not my jam
I'm picturing it's like a cold November day
The leaves are down, it's 42 degrees
It's windy
Yeah, of course, that's when it's going to really be hitting
I saw the Halloween superstore the other day
Yeah
That's up and running
Oh yeah, and every year you see more and more of people getting mad about
Oh, there's a Christmas display in August already
Yeah, I get mad at it
So I'm looking at the...
I'm going straight Andy Rooney over here
You gotta let it go
I'm looking at the 2023
Let it go
Yeah, so what's different in 2023 than 2021?
Nothing
I would love to be the Dunkin' Donuts publicist who every year has to like
Really try and razzle dazzle them with my mid-August fall menu press release
Well the press release now is just more I think about their overall menu
So, it is cool that it's Boston, August 16th, 2023
Dateline
Dateline Boston
The wait is over
I mean to your point, the wait is over
I mean who's waiting through the summer?
The wait is over
So when does pumpkin season end?
The wait is over at the moment pumpkin spice enthusiasts have eagerly awaited
That they've eagerly awaited has arrived
Dunkin's pumpkin lineup is back
It's been 258 long days since pumpkin fans savored their last sweet taste of pumpkin Dunkin'
258 days, so let's do a little backward math on that
That's longer than I would have guessed
Yeah, I would have guessed they would have rolled that out till they switched over to St. Paddy's drinks in mid-March
Or maybe like a Valentine's Day thing
Some sort of like nasty like
Is that like the shamrock shake? Is there anything else?
Some minty
Yeah, 258 days ago was like December
What?
Okay, short-lived
Today guests can indulge in, so this is interesting wording or verbiage
The reintroduction of the pumpkin spice signature latte
Yeah, well it reintroduces itself every year
I feel like they should have called it like Dunk Pump or something
Really go for it
Dumpkin
Pumpkin?
Pump the pumpkin
The pumpkin dumper
Dunk the pump
Pump the dunk
Are you seeing that the goldfish
Yeah, pump and dump
Pump and dunk
The goldfish dunkin' pumpkin spice grams are back
What?
Two iconic brands are reuniting to bring it back, it's limited edition
It has flavor notes of pumpkin, donut glaze and warm spices
Cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg
And they're available online
Online only?
Oh no, in stores nationwide as well
Oh, wherever goldfish is sold
This is confusing
It seems like the only place it's not available is Dunkin'
I miss those
I haven't seen them
Heard the knock on the door
Couldn't catch my breath
Is it too late to call this off?
We could slip away
Or would that be better?
Me with nothing to say
And you in your autumn sweater
I mean also Starbucks announced that it's pumpkin season
It's just hilarious, Dunkin' has to pretend Starbucks doesn't exist
Like, America's been waiting for our pumpkin spice latte to come back
Does everybody have a pumpkin spice latte?
Like Wendy's?
Does Tim Hortons have a pumpkin spice latte?
Oh for sure
What do they call it?
Uh, they must
The Tim Hortons original, original signature
First result, pumpkin, pumpkin spice is back
At Tim Hortons?
At Tim Hortons
It's back for everybody
What about like McDonald's and Burger King, places like that, do they have a pumpkin spice latte?
Oh they got the pumpkin iced cappuccino, Tim Hortons
So they've merged their, one of their most famous products
Does who have it?
McDonald's
I don't think McDonald's does it
Just want to fact check on that
Burger King's pumpkin spice Oreo shake
Crazy
That's them jumping into the pumpkin
I bet that's pretty good
Everybody's got pumpkin fever
It is pretty dark to think that
Pumpkin season moves earlier and earlier
And everybody thinks like alright well it's cool
I'll just get an iced pumpkin beverage at any one of these cafes
But there's just something about like late August
Drinking an iced version of this flavor
That's supposed to be associated with a certain region and a certain temperature
You know what I mean?
It's kind of like, I'm sure we've talked about this before
There's a meme that, you know, it's been popping up for years
That's about Waluigi
You know about this right?
And just to summarize I think the basic idea is that
Luigi was created just to be a companion to Mario
You know, Luigi's just this kind of whatever version of Mario
So he's already the kind of less important brother of the Mario brothers
And then Waluigi is this like bizarro version of Luigi
So people always found it interesting philosophically that
Luigi's already a nothing man
And then Waluigi is like the bizarro version of a nothing man
He's like a double nothing man
He's an empty man
He's an empty man
And there is something about that, you know
It makes sense, it's like some Matrix, you know
Baudrillard kind of simulacrum, you know
We're in the desert of the real
Just layers on layers of simulacra
And there's definitely a touch of that when you think about
Trying to reduce this beautiful season fall
Into a slightly gross chemical flavor
Already we're in the desert of the real
You're getting so far from nature
But at least we get that
Alright, grandma and grandpa, they had to make their pumpkin spice lattes the old fashioned way
Had to carve out that pumpkin
Yeah
Bake it
Grandma lived in western Massachusetts
She'd bake the pumpkin
Milk the cows
Grandpa would have to go, you know, get a sack of coffee from the, you know, provision store
And then make it that way
Alright, we get it
You know, it's not the 19th century anymore
Now, you're a young urban professional living in Boston
You're gonna go to Dunkin'
Maybe Starbucks if you're really fancy
You're gonna get this kind of chemical fake version of the flavor of fall
But at least you're still in the same weather
You're still in the same part of the world
And it might be a fake version but the feeling is real
But already you're in Luigi territory
Once you're drinking a pumpkin spice latte
Once you're drinking an iced pumpkin spice latte
In the American Southwest in August
You've entered Waluigi territory
Just layers upon layers of simulation
The real has been utterly defeated
Adam Curtis is gonna sink his teeth into this
Oh, he's gonna love it
McDonald's is in the game though
You can get a pumpkin spice latte at McDonald's
Okay
Pumpkin flavored coffee
Can you get an iced pumpkin?
My suspicions were right then
But not at Burger King, it's not available yet
I'm an American man
It's a big revenue driver
I mean, it looks like 11% or something of like Starbucks sales increase
Crazy
You know
I mean, right now there's somebody
What's the temperature in Scottsdale right now?
Can I get a number crunch?
I'm gonna guess 110
That's like a classic Scottsdale temp
It's 110
Really? Well done
It's 110
There's a man in a drive-thru
In his air-conditioned Chrysler Pacifica
Yep
There's 14 cars in front of him in the drive-thru
Yep
It's gonna take about 25 minutes
To get this drink
And he's thinking about it
He's like, "God, I hope they have that iced pumpkin spice latte available"
Pulls over to drink that iced pumpkin spice latte
110 degrees
Pumpkin spice latte is not supposed to be cold
I understand that they do it
But the idea is supposed to
Well, they have to do it
They have to do it because it's too hot
Of course
And as they want to colonize the summer
Then you get into this absurd Waluigi territory of drinking an iced pumpkin spice latte
You're just a dude
Would you say he was in a Pacifica?
Chrysler Pacifica
You're in a Chrysler Pacifica
It's 110 degrees outside
You're drinking it on your way to work
Maybe born and raised in Arizona
Dad moved there from work
Grandparents are from Boston
Great-grandparents are from Ireland
And here you are
We did it
Once divided
Nothing left to subtract
Some words when spoken
Can't be taken back
Walks on his own
With thoughts he can't help thinking
Futures above
But in the past he's slow and sick
Caught a bolt of lightning
Cursed the day he let it go
Nothing left
Nothing left
Isn't it something?
Nothing left
Speaking of Starbucks
We should probably give Winter a call
We have to do Winter and Death Spot
Alright, let's move on
Now, let's go to the Time Crisis Hotline
Winter?
How are you guys doing?
We're good, we've been enjoying
We've just been discussing that pumpkin spice latte season is back again
And it seems like it crept up
And they pushed it earlier
I haven't actually looked at a calendar
But I've heard at least two people complain about how it seems to be creeping up
And marking the start of Fall
Even though I still think it's Summer
How often are you drinking a pumpkin spice latte?
I don't think I have ever had a pumpkin spice latte
Simply because I don't like pumpkin
I do have the occasional latte
Usually it'd be a special occasion
Maybe at a roastery or at some other coffee house
So, I guess it's funny
I've never asked you this question before
You're the ultimate king of Starbucking
You've been to more Starbucks than anybody on Earth
And yet, it's never been a goal of yours to explore the entire Starbucks menu
That's correct
The truth is
I really, really like filter coffee
And ever since I started trying out the independent cafes
I really, really like light roasted filter coffee
And that's just something that Starbucks is not going to offer
So, for me, they're about the design of the cafes
An interest in their business practices
And of course all the challenges and traveling that go with Starbucking
And speaking of traveling, we heard you're in the UK right now?
I am
I am at a hostel in central Birmingham, England
This is actually a pretty cool experience
My last few times through Birmingham have been by car
So, there's actually something to be said for just walking around
So, as soon as I checked in, I walked around
Found a nice little Indian restaurant
It's much less stressful
The driving in the past five days has been really, really stressful
I think that the roads have gotten narrower, if you can believe that
Or maybe I'm just getting old
There are definitely more speed cameras everywhere
So, this is an experience
And the thing about being in a rental car is
Those tickets don't go to you
They'll go to the agency
And I believe that they all tack on an administration fee to pay them
You can't speed in the UK
They'll get you, they got cameras everywhere
Mostly, I'm just feeling this glow of
Finally, after seven years
Returning overseas, returning to the UK
I truly love this country
In fact, the UK is the only place that gets an entire chapter in my book
This is my 11th or 12th time here
Part of that is obviously
Starbucks just has a lot of growth here
And for the past decade, of course
I've played a lot of Scrabble here, too
Since, you know, English, same language
There's a pretty active Scrabble scene
And is that why you're in Birmingham specifically?
No, no, the tournament was down in Milton Keynes
It was the British Match-Based Scrabble Championship
How did you do?
I came in ninth, which was much better than I expected
Given that my focus since the pandemic began has not been Scrabble
We've chatted before, I think I've mentioned that I shifted my focus over to fitness
To writing my book
And then, over the past, more recently
Just trying to catch up on all these Starbucks
You know, trying to put all my energy into this big global trip
So I've barely practiced, barely studied
But you're still top ten
I have some latent skills, so that feels kind of good
It's fair to say you're like the ninth best Scrabble player in the UK?
Not even close, no
I finished ninth in this competition
Even if I had won the competition
I would not have called myself the best player in the UK
Because, you know, like poker, there's that luck element
Titles will come out of the bag
I mean, at the World Championships in Las Vegas last month
The player who went on to win, he played in a warm-up event
Four games, and lost them all
So anything can happen in Scrabble
You just have to be good enough to take advantage of the opportunities presented to you
Are you ranked globally?
Yes, and I don't know what my ranking is
Are you like top thousand?
Oh, yeah, of course, yeah, no
I might be top hundred, not sure
How big was the competition? You finished ninth, how many people were in it?
In the top group, I think we had about 50
And maybe another 50 in group B
So maybe about 100
It's smaller than the World Championship in Las Vegas
Which had several hundred players across two divisions
Were you in that one?
Yes, I was in that one
I didn't do well in that one
Or the North American Championship
Or the alternate North American Championship
It was a pretty bad summer for Scrabble
So I'm glad that I finished my run with a top ten finish
Congratulations
Thank you, thank you
Because you're in England, you have to do English spellings?
Yes, that is one of the challenges with me in particular
In North America, most players play using the North American lexicon
Used only by the US, Canada, Israel
Maybe a couple of other countries
But the rest of the world uses the British lexicon
And I have to switch back and forth
So that's kind of like playing with one arm tied behind my back
But I think it's a good mental exercise
Well done
[Scat singing]
Meet me at the coffee shop
We can dance like it is wild
Another go in the parking lot
A sweet cheek on your hot spot
So how's the Starbucks been doing?
How many Starbucks are there in Birmingham?
In the greater Birmingham area
There are about nine or ten new ones
And existing company-owned stores were maybe half that
So not more than a couple of dozen
They actually call them equity stores over here
Which I just learned for this trip
I'm not counting, of course, as we discussed before, the licensed stores
Or something that they have in the UK and France but nowhere else
They actually have franchise stores here
But it's not individual franchising
So you as Rekainic could probably not get a franchise
Starbucks would want you to create your own company
And demonstrate that you have the ability to open up multiple stores
They're not interested in, you know, grandma and grandpa
Taking their life savings to open up a Starbucks
All right, so maybe I'll put together a consortium of UK businessmen
What's the minimum number of stores that you need to open?
Minimum buy-in?
I don't, but I have read an article that they are looking for franchise companies
That are willing to run multi-units
However, they have gotten away from that
When they started that in 2013-2014
The number of company-owned stores dropped dramatically
So I last came here in '15 and '16
And I was easily able to see all the new stores
Just because they were focusing on the franchising
Well, apparently, I'm told that they're concerned
About the quality and the dilution of the brand
And they have started reasserting themselves
So now in the last seven years
I have about 120-130 equity stores that have opened
And fewer franchise stores have opened
I always thought franchising was a bad idea
I think Starbucks really needs to control their image
I might have mentioned the story before
About how Walmart approached them a long time ago
And was turned down
Because of course, Starbucks doesn't want to dilute their brand
And that's why they have to be careful with this franchising
I'm glad that it hasn't expanded outside of the UK and France
But they have Starbucks in like Target?
I mean, we can agree that Target is a little more upmarket than Walmart, yes?
No
No? Okay
It's the same garbage, it's just slightly different branding
Target reads more, even though I understand there's been controversy
Of Target's politics
I think it still reads more like Blue State, somehow
On a personal note, I camp out at Walmart all the time
So I can't say too much bad about them
I go in more there in the morning and buy my groceries before moving on
But I personally feel sad when I'm in Walmart
And I don't feel sad when I'm in Target
I don't know why
I have the opposite feeling
I feel like Walmart is just a straight shooter
Target, they've got all this window dressing on there
Trying to dress it up like it's some sort of fancy-dancy big box store
It's the same flat screen TVs and underwear coming off the container ship from China
I think it's the color scheme
The red and white
Yes!
What's your favorite color?
I love the red and white color scheme
The Walmart colors suck and they depress me
The blue is, I mean, it's just sad
Well, Walmart's spirit, it's like red, white, and gray
Yeah, the gray is a bummer
It's like almost
Is there gray?
Sorry, I meant red, gray, and blue
I think they have some orange in their colors
It's like an article about how do you make your decision which you want to be, you know, loyal to
And deciding which store to give your loyalty to would depend on what you look for in a shopping experience
If you're more concerned with the culture of the stores you frequent, then you might prefer Target
But if you're purely concerned with getting the lowest possible prices on the widest selection of goods
Then Walmart is admittedly hard to beat
I think that's right
I think that there's something about whatever topical, superficial, you know, the color scheme, the branding
Wait, now, Nick, does Walmart have a price match guarantee?
No
They don't need to, those prices are so good
They're just dropping, they're constantly dropping
So, even though it depresses you, you hit Walmart because the prices are campy beat?
No, I don't care about the price
It's the fact that most of the Walmarts let you camp there
Although they have gotten away from that at the more urban stores
And when you say camp, you mean like sleep in the parking lot or tented up inside?
I think they might frown on a tent
But no, I mean, you know, if you go to the more rural areas off the beaten path
You can go into a Walmart and you can see all these campers and camper vans parked towards the back and big RVs
It's a common thing
They've had that policy forever
I mean, I guess they figured people will wake up in the morning and they'll buy what they need from Walmart
And it's only more recently that more and more stores, especially in the cities, have started prohibiting overnight camping
In some cases, it's a city ordinance, but in other cases, it's Walmart itself or the property
I think in part it has to do with the increase in the unhoused population throughout the US
Winston Winter, when you wake up in a Walmart parking lot and you go inside
Are you getting a coffee there or you're going to wait to go to Starbucks for your morning coffee?
I'm going to wait to go to either Starbucks or whatever independent cafe I'm going to
But no, no, I'll go inside and I'll buy pretty much standard things
Apple, banana, yogurt, possibly orange juice
Although most of the Walmarts don't have the juice that I like
When I run out of oatmeal, I'll buy the oatmeal
So that's breakfast
Yeah, yep, it's breakfast
Clean
That'll actually, that plus a Soylent or a Huel will tighten me over off until like 2, 3pm
And then are you beelining it to Starbucks?
Like, are you a kind of don't talk to me until I've had my coffee thing?
Are you like a zombie as you trudge through Walmart?
Actually, yeah, yeah
You know, I got to get in there
I got to at least splash some water on my face to try and wake up
Truth is, often I will have coffee in my car already
Because remember, I have to drink coffee from each store
But I don't have to drink it right away
So what I typically do is, towards the end of the day
I'll save the samples from 2 or 3 stores
Ah, so you got a day old coffee ready to go
This is like Jerry Sautz over here
Yeah, and then the first thing I do when I wake up is I'll just chug that
And that'll get me going
You know, it also helps sleeping if I'm not downing coffee at 6, 7, 8pm at night
Right, of course, you got to have a cut off
That raises an interesting question, and I hope you'll be honest
Have you ever hit a few Starbucks later in the day, grabbed the coffees
Rule of state, I don't have to drink them now, I'll drink them later
But then one thing leads to another the next day
Things get confused, you misplace one
And then you can't count that box on the list
Has that ever happened?
It has happened for a reason that I don't even know that I can say on this show
That's spicy
Uh, yeah, let's just say that I have to go back
If we're putting you at any kind of legal risk
No, it's not legal, I just don't want to gross out your listeners
But I did have to go back to that store later
Because the coffee was no longer drinkable
Okay, I can kind of imagine what might have happened
I think we could put two and two together
Yeah, life on the road, we get it
Okay, so that's how real you are
Wait, so Home Depot's cool with camping?
Yeah, Home Depot, I don't know that they have an explicit policy
But I have never been woken up in a Home Depot parking lot
And sometimes I get woken up by security at a Walmart
And they say, you can go over to the Home Depot, you'll be okay
I've never had a problem in Home Depot
How many calories is that Soylent meal?
The recommended two scoops should be about 400, same for Huwul
Throw in a banana, that's another 100 calories
That'll tide you over for quite a bit
I've actually had Huwul plus a banana
Pretty much before all of my 5K races
And I attribute that to some of the times I've been able to post
Wow, what are your 5K times?
Most recent one was 1927
Earlier this year in Houston on a flat course
That's cruising
Yeah, but it's going to get harder year after year
I don't know what you guys' fitness routine is
But all of us are getting older and every year gets a little harder, doesn't it?
Yeah, I mean I run, but I'm not doing 6.5 minute miles
Mile after mile like you are
Are you in the shape of your life right now, Winter, with your focus on fitness?
Generally speaking, over the past 3 years during the pandemic
Yeah, generally
Right now, I'm getting a little soft
Because I'm traveling and I'm obviously not running
I'm not hitting the gym every day
And pretty much all I'm going to do over the next 6 months
Is just a lot of walking
Once I get out of this phase where I'm in the rental car in the UK and Ireland
Most of the rest of the trip is just going to be a lot of walking
And that'll be good, but upper body, abs, none of that
Until next year
But that's the way my life goes
At certain times I focus on certain things
And for the next 6 months
The focus is on hitting as many of these starbucking milestones as I can
And trying to drum up some publicity
Trying to get an article or something to go viral
Well, I hope that happens for you
If there's any TC heads out in the UK or Ireland
Should be very excited to know that
The originator of starbucking is in your green and pleasant land
You definitely have fans out here
I've had several of them reach out to me already
Offering to buy me coffee
So, you've got your share of fans all over the world, I suspect
Oh, that's great, great to hear it
Well, thanks so much for calling in for our 200th episode, Winter
Hey, it's been great speaking to you
We always love checking in with you
And we're so glad to hear you're back on the road starbucking internationally
It was great talking to you and finally talking to you from overseas
So, the timing worked out marvelously
Yes, awesome
Alright, well, get some rest and we'll talk to you soon, man
Alright, take care, look forward to listening to the show, bye-bye
Bye
That was Winter's 9th appearance
Wow, major
It was on last summer
Home Depot does not have a policy
Against sleeping in their parking lot
Learn something new every day, I'm surprised by that
Have you guys ever, how many times have you slept in a car in your life?
Zero, I'm gonna say zero
I don't know if that's true
What about you, on tour, did you sleep in a vehicle?
Well, I've slept in a tour bus, but that doesn't count, that's got a bed in it
I think I have slept in a...
In like a passenger seat? I've never done that
I've done like back of the minivan
Just like throw the driver's seat back and just crash?
Nah, I haven't done that, but I've definitely done many, many times
Sleeping bag in the back of the van
In the back of the van, for sure
Falling asleep in a car?
Like on a road trip?
Yeah, we've all done that
Oh, like you're not driving?
Close your eyes?
Close my eyes for 30 minutes
Well, that's never happened to me
I just find it so...
I can't sleep in cars either
No, I find it so exciting
You just Eddie Drive?
Even as a small child, you wouldn't catch me with my eyes closed
Your head's out the window
I'm just taking it all in, 360
Just vibing
Maybe cranking some tunes
Looking out the window, looking for horses
Okay, focused on the surroundings
It's really weird that you would just fall asleep
It wasn't on purpose
You fall asleep in movies, too? Plays?
I have, not a play
Concert? No
Guys, I can't believe how good a transition this is
To calling Despot
Who does not do anything on an airplane, if you guys recall
I think about this all the time
He just stares straight ahead, right?
He doesn't even stare out the window
Doesn't he stare at the...
Back of the seat
We should call him
What a transition, David Putty style
There's a story about Ron DeSantis
That he was on a flight to...
Someone was across the aisle from him
And it was a flight to Israel
So it was like 12 hours or something
And apparently he just sat there the entire time
Despot style
Wow
No media
Just sat there, just thinking
Just looking at the back of the seat
I mean, that's a lot of bad things about him
But that's one plus
Yeah, I was like, oh my god, this is straight out of Despot's book
I gotta tell you, the Twitter community
Has really been captivated by that Despot trait
And it comes up a lot
And we should say that
You put out a little poll, kind of
Just asking, what are the Time Crisis Community's favorite
Subjects that we've ever covered
Because this is our 200th episode
And Despot's in-flight routine was one of them
It was first mentioned on episode 50, August 27th, 2017
So 150 episodes later
We can ask him about it
He's got legs
Alright, let's get Despot on the horn
This little piggy got a house made of bricks
Hand over hand over hand over fist
This little piggy got a house made of bricks
Huff and puff, you ain't blowing down
This little piggy got a house made of bricks
Hand over hand over hand over fist
This little piggy got a house made of bricks
Huff and puff, you ain't blowing down
Running on fumes, walking on coals
Pockets on road, game pulled out of control
Green means go, red means go
I'm colorblind, mother f***er, I don't know
Beat a beat in the block, I'm pleading and squeezing the juice out
Deezer screaming, "Let's stop" I'm fleaging the scene with the too loud
Money talk if you showing off, then that money talk too loud
Slap a gag order on a Vaught and cut Benjamin's tongue out
Let their presidents run now, won't be no more discussion
Go so hard in the paint, I'm f***ing and busting
N***a in the bucket and run amok on you
Facing bitches and cuss up in public, my come up ain't one to f***
Not for nothing, you nothing
Stopping slime, y'all a snot rocket
Got a lot of products stocked in the dockers, that's hot pockets
Fresh out the car wash, still got a dirty trunk
Out for that gold plaque, like some old dirty front
This little piggy got a house made of bricks
Hand over hand over hand over fist
This little piggy got a house made of bricks
Puff and pump, you ain't blowing down
Down
Now, let's go to the Time Crisis Hotline
[Phone ringing]
Hello?
[Laughter]
Jesus, S-Bot, welcome back
[Laughter]
I'm driving a car
I'm on the BQE, you know
Oh, you're in your car?
Yeah, man
[Laughter]
Oh, you're just walking barefoot on the BQE on FaceTime
Okay, you're in your car, that's actually perfect
How many times in your life have you slept in a car?
Oh, uh, I don't know
Probably too many to count
You mean like, go to sleep
You don't mean like, somebody's driving the car and you fall asleep
That doesn't count
No, not just like you closed your eyes during a long drive
Like, you slept, you spent the night in a car
Yeah, I used to do that a lot when I was
You know, if I drank too much, you get in your car
And you have to make the decision
Whether you're gonna try to drive home or if it's not a good idea
If it's not a good idea, you go to sleep
And then you like, sometimes you wake up and like, the sun is out
And it's really hot in the car
And you think you're gonna feel good
And yeah, I don't know how many times
If I had to guess, 20-ish?
Wow
Yeah
Almost always because of drinking
Has it ever been because of like, you're on a road trip
And you pulled over into like, a Walmart parking lot
Just to spend the night, save some money
No, I've never done that
But that's how people get killed, right?
Isn't that like
I don't know, what do you mean?
I don't know, I feel like you always hear about like
Some guy pulled over and went to sleep in one of those little rest areas
And then people just walk up on the car and kill him
Because why not, I guess
But when you've slept in your car drunk
Because you're the person I know who drives around New York City the most
Which famously, is not a car town
No, and I'm blind right now
Right now I'm driving, blind
What do you mean?
You know, I just saw you here
I had that thing in my eyes
That my vision is f***ed
But I just drive anyway
What, like you need to get glasses now?
Possibly
I've had this thing since March
Do you want me to get into it?
It's not even fun, it's not even interesting really
Except, I don't know, is it? It's not
Maybe
We can move on
Yeah, we can move on
Yeah, okay
But I am interested, what's your visibility level?
I mean, I don't know right now, I'm driving
There's a bunch of cars
You know there are cars
Can you see colors?
Or is it kind of just shadows?
Shadows passing in front of you
I've been colorblind my whole life
And when I went to the eye doctor for this thing
He was like, you know you're severely colorblind
And I was like, yeah man
But you don't have to rub it in
Severely?
Yeah, because he was a new eye doctor
He's like the specialist who's supposed to
This s*** has been going on since March
So I don't know, the guy obviously didn't fix it
You're known as a pretty sharp dresser
Yeah
You have an amazing collection of vintage polo
And t-shirts
I heard that when you're colorblind
You need a lot of help picking out outfits
I've heard that too, but I think it's just like intuition
I'm like, these things must look okay together
I don't know
And I guess you probably naturally stay away from
The confusing zone
I have a lot of confusing zones
Like blue and purple
Sometimes like, you know, browns and reds
It can happen
I don't know, like I don't really know
Oh wait, that reminds me
There's something we found out hanging out
In New York recently
There's a certain word that me and Alex say the same way
But a lot of people don't say it the same way
I gotta ask everybody on the panel
You know the fruit that's also a color
Starts with an O?
Okay, Seinfeld, how do you guys say it?
Orange
Nick?
Orange
Jake?
Olive
Orange
Wait, okay, Jake's got a touch of
Orange, let me get an orange
Orange
What do you guys say?
Orange
I say it as two syllables
Orange
You're saying orange
Orange
Okay, but me and Alex
We found out at a dinner that we both
Orange?
That we both say orange
Orange
F***ing orange over here
Orange
Orange, New Jersey
Is there an orange New Jersey?
Yeah, there is an orange New Jersey
Because we were sitting with a bunch of people at a restaurant
And I ordered an orange wine
And then somebody said
That sounds crazy, what you said
I heard an orange
I'm not playing it up
I'm not playing it up
I ordered an orange wine
Okay, hold on, I'll say it more properly
It's kind of like how you say band
You say, how do you say band?
Band
Yeah, band
It's a long sound
So I was out with a band
And we all, everybody wanted
And we ordered a bottle of orange wine
Yeah, orange
Wait, okay, maybe I'm playing it up
But no, I definitely say orange
Okay
And would you like anything to drink tonight?
Yes, could I please have an orange wine?
There, that was me saying it normal
Anyway, so
That's trippy
Somebody else at the table was like
Wait, you say orange?
And then we had this conversation
We went around to the table
And Alex and I said it the same way
And then I was saying
Well, yeah, because I grew up in New Jersey
So I use that word a lot
I guess everybody uses that word a lot
But there's towns in New Jersey called the oranges
There's West Orange, East Orange, South Orange
There might even just be an orange
But there's the oranges
So then we were talking about it
And then actually the waitress later
She said, were you just talking about the oranges?
Yeah, how do you say it?
She said, well, I'm from New Jersey
And I said, oh, get out of here, me too
And she said, I say orange
And I said, yeah, that's how I say it, orange
And she said, my grandpa, he's from New Jersey
He's an old school New Jersey guy
And I said, how does he say it?
She said, he says orange, orange
His grandfather before him
West Orange
And then the more, even more confusing thing
Is there's two other people at the table
Who are from New York City
But they're from Manhattan
And they say orange
But I say orange because I'm from Queens maybe
Like maybe it's an outer borough thing
And I say orange because I'm from New Jersey
Which is an outer borough essentially
In a sense, yeah
Your dad's from Queens, right?
Well, my dad's from the Bronx
Your dad's from the Bronx
I think I asked him and my dad says orange
My dad's from the Bronx too
So that might be something
Oh, okay, so if your dad's from the Bronx
You say, you say orange
No, no, it really could be
And you would have learned through him
And he's talking about, oh, we got to run down to South Orange
Orange
Yeah, I'm sure when I was a little kid
My dad was like, this is the color orange
Orange
Alright
Orange is the color of my love
Fragile orange wind in the garden
Fragile means that I can hear her flesh
Crying little rivers in her forearm
Fragile is that I mourn her death
As our limbs are twisting in her bedroom
Lies, lies, lies
Lies in her eyes
Lies, lies, lies
Lies in her eyes
See, it's also funny because I
Nobody ever says that I have a New Jersey or New York accent
In fact, this has happened
I've probably said this on the show before
At least once a year for the past 30 years
No, let's say the past 20 years
Somebody says to me, where are you from?
And I say New Jersey and say
Oh, I thought you were going to say a different country
I swear
Dude, you have a touch of that
High society, can't place it accent
It's like vaguely English
It's a bit transatlantic
It's a bit like
What's that show with Cynthia Nixon?
That was on
Sex and the City
No, no, no
The other one, the golden
What was it? The gilded age
They all have that kind of turn of the century
I guess, but clearly I say this word in this way
It's happened before
There was an English
Last year, there was a younger English pop star
I referred to myself as American
She was like, no
What?
Are you serious right now?
What? No, no, you're joking
And I was like, what do you mean?
I was like, where do you think I was from?
And I was like, you think I was English?
She's like, no, of course not
But I just didn't think that
I guess sometimes it's people from other countries
And then this summer, I met a Brazilian person
And they were going on and on about
No, no, you don't sound American
But I do sound American
Well, whatever
I guess some people say I don't sound American
Sorry, my robot is talking
What was that?
That was a GPS
Have you had people who didn't
They couldn't place you or they thought you were
It was not a GPS
I don't drive around Manhattan with a GPS
Yes, Despot doesn't know his way around Manhattan, guys
It was a spy thing
It's a laser shifter
It tells me where the cops are
And it shifts their laser frequency
When they try to gun me
So that I can't get caught speeding
Oh yeah, I got one of those, too
Yeah, they're sick, they work
So Despot, when we took an informal poll
From the Time Crisis fan community
Did you know this is episode 200?
Of course
You've been counting them down
Yeah, it's a momentous occasion
It's very momentous
And we asked the community
For some of their all-time favorite subjects
And one that came up was
Despot's in-flight routine
Which was first mentioned on episode 50
August 27th, 2017
Have you taken any long-haul flights recently?
Since then, yeah
Recently?
Not really
The last time I even went anywhere
Was LA, and that was in February
And you've been staying true to this, more or less?
Yeah, I mean, that was...
Yeah, I go to sleep or I do nothing
You just stare
I don't like watching movies on the plane
And I don't want to put headphones on
I don't like that
I don't listen to music for some reason
I don't really know why
I do, you know, it's not even like
Because I bring my AirPods
And I'm like, maybe I'm going to want to listen to something
And I don't, I don't know
It's hard to listen to music on the plane
With all that whooshing noise
You have to crank it up
It kind of hurts your ears
Do you even see what the in-flight entertainment is?
No, I don't care
I never, no
Who cares?
What are you going to do?
I don't watch movies, that's ridiculous
You don't look at the flight path?
You don't see like, oh, I'm, you know, I'm over...
I have that on sometimes
And like, I'll look at it, you know
It's pretty good
Yeah
With all this driving you do
As you're guided around New York City by Sat Nav
Outside of listening to the navigation
Or recording an internet radio show
When you're just driving by yourself in New York
Sitting in traffic on the BQA
Are you listening to music then?
Yeah, definitely
And you know what I noticed?
I listen to like, I'll just put on
Let it Shuffle for me
But it's not that good
Like it f***ing, it doesn't really mix it up
I hate f***ing songs over and over again
If it keeps playing surf gang songs
I don't, I'm not, I got nothing against surf gang
It's not really, like, I'm not that into it
When people come in my car, they're like
Damn, you really like surf gang
And it's kind of embarrassing
Because I'm like, I don't
I love, hey, you know, shout out to surf gang
I like a lot of their music
But I don't know how that happened
And I, and
It just makes you seem like a super fan
Yeah, and I don't, I'm not
And someone guessed that maybe
I accidentally like, favorited one of their songs
That's another thing I don't do, ever in my life
I don't favorite anything
I don't favorite tweets
I don't favorite songs
Wait, you don't, you don't
Like a song just so it stays
And something you can return back to?
Nah, I just remember it if I like it
And I'll search for it
I'm the same way
But you, you smash the like on Instagram, don't you?
Yeah, that, I'm a big Instagram liker
Because that's all you can do, really
Right, so there you'll do it
But you don't, you don't favorite tweets
You don't favorite songs
I don't, you probably don't favorite texts
Mmm, no
I might do a ha-ha, but I don't know
You don't do the thumbs up with a heart?
I have, but not really
Thumbs up for me is gonna be like, passive aggressive
Yeah, thumbs up from you would feel pretty passive aggressive
It is also, it is, that is the funniest one
I'm sure people have said this many times
But you know, the heart, you loved it
And the thumbs up is, you liked it
And normally if you, if it just said
Somebody liked your text, you'd be like, oh that's cool
They liked it, there's something about
Then you see the, the thumbs up
Even the fact that there's this differentiation
Between the heart and the thumbs up
Suddenly, you know, throws this whole other thing
I'm a big thumbs up guy
I noticed that
I love it, I use it unironically
It's, 'cause heart, hearting is over the top
Right
I love it, I love that we're meeting
At 11.30 for lunch, I, no
Do you, do you ever use an exclamation point?
Thumbs up is like, copy that
Do you ever get a, like a surprising text
And use an exclamation point?
Yeah, I'll do the emphasis exclamation point, sure
I, I use that passive aggressively too
'Cause, you know, because
You know, sometimes someone will be like, oh okay
Like, you know, they'll say something
And you're just like, okay
And then they're like, oh
Well, you seem real excited
Then I add an exclamation point
Like, there you go, you f***ing idiot
Oh, you know what's, you know what's a tricky one
Is the question mark
I feel like that's, that's a minefield right there
Like, that question mark
Seinfeld questioned
Yeah, right?
Right
Well, yeah, you only use that
That's the aggressive part
You only use that to kinda like, annoy somebody
Yeah, it's very aggressive
I would only use that with somebody I was very close with
Like, like a friend that I was kinda f***ed with
That's kinda like, come on
Have you seen Ninja Turtles?
That kinda f***ing
What the f***
Or passive aggressive with like, you know, your wife
Just kinda like
What?
I get, I get mad when people
Are we having dinner tomorrow night?
Are we having dinner tomorrow night?
Are we having a barbecue with the neighbors tomorrow?
That f***ing pisses me off
Like, why the f*** do you just question mark me?
In a group chat also?
Like, oh, in front of everybody
F***
You know what's a nice touch?
Is reacting to your own text
Like, you type something you think is funny
And then you put a "ha ha" in your own one
You gotta deploy that
What's the point of like, if someone takes too long to like, laugh at it
Then you're like, "Ah-ah"
Yeah
Pick myself up
And other than passive aggressive, I would say, usage of reacts
Yeah, are you throwing a question mark on your own one?
Just like, I'm triggered
I'm so friggin' random
Guys, I'm at Fatburger right now
Guys, I'm at Fat
Question mark?
But that's awesome
Like, you ask the question and they didn't respond
And you throw a question mark on it like, "Yo"
That's true
Right, that's
I like putting it on a statement
That kinda feels
It's like a Tim Robinson delivery
Like, "Uh, guys, I'm at Fatburger right now"
I can just see Tim Robinson's face like, "Question mark over your own tip"
"Um, I guess I'm in Wisconsin?"
Well, thanks for checking in with us for the Big 200
Where you driving?
I'm going to a restaurant called Raff's
Oh, heard about it
It's called Raff's?
Raff's, R-A-F-F
It's a basketball themed bar, Raff's
Everything's black and white
Looks like a footlocker
Alright, well, enjoy dinner
We'll talk to you soon
Thanks for being part of the TC community
Congratulations on 200
Thank you very much
See you soon
Alright
Bye
First one of the evening
[Instrumental]
Oh yeah, have one on me
Of that sweet, sweet chili heat
Oh yeah, let's take it deep
With that sweet, sweet chili heat
Dead night in the Dina at the Old Town Pub
Two sets at a beer bar, we're drinking no slipper
But sometimes I gotta take a nip
Something with heat, something with kick
So fill that flask with tequila if you please
Oh yeah, have one on me
Of that sweet, sweet chili heat
Oh yeah, let's take it deep
There's plenty to share, there's more than I need
So let's take a closer look at the Time Crisis fan favorites
Seinfeld posted on Twitter
What are your favorite TC moments of all time?
Like outside of the top 5, go
The topics below got the most mentions
Number 1
Two fridge/freezer households, Lonnie's dad
Lonnie's dad was first discussed in episode 63
Wait, is that true? That's surprising
Seems late
It seems late, exactly
Like to me, the two fridge household/Lonnie's dad
That's very like foundational TC
I'm questioning those numbers
I mean that was 5 years ago
That is kind of foundational
Yeah, I guess 5 years ago is a pretty long time
How many TC's were there before
It's the canon that we know, you know this group
There was, how many episodes before?
Not that many
I think we kind of locked in within 10 episodes
Yeah, I was in within the first 10
I think you had done a couple in New York
And then you were out here
And then it was kind of off the races
And in the beginning was like a bit awkward
Just trying to do like more interview based
Jamie Foxx coming through
Having high profile guests on
Somebody posted a picture with you
And you and Jamie Foxx were in the same photo
And I felt like it was like a collision of like two different eras of TC
Like I didn't know that you guys actually met
And are like good friends
Oh yeah
Awesome text thread with me, Ezra and Jamie Foxx
You should see that
A lot of likes
A lot of weird exclamation
A lot of hearts, a lot of ha-ha's
We settled in relatively quickly
And I mean for a while there was the kind of East Coast, West Coast TC vibe
Sure
But then as I essentially started living out here
Yeah, we kind of locked in
And I think relatively quickly we hit our stride
But maybe we really, I mean I guess it makes sense
Maybe things take time
Like we really probably, it seems like there's a lot of classic stuff in 2018
Maybe 2018 is when we really, I'm looking through this
2018 we have Lonnie's Dad
Juice Island
Punisher Burgers
Goldfish and Hummus Super Bowl Challenge
The first reference to Jam Flow Man was late 2018
We got deeper into it in January 2019
The Lady Doritos Town Hall
Was February 25th, 2018
So the Lady Doritos Town Hall featured Chloe Wise, Rashida Jones, and Hannah Fidel
In episode 62
What was that all about?
It's cause Doritos had a female, they were gonna release like a female Dorito
That didn't leave dust on your fingertips
Oh
As I recall and then we
And was it in like a pink bag?
No that was part of, I think that was part of the Doritos Town Hall
Didn't Doritos get a lady CEO?
And that was part of it?
That sounds familiar, yeah
Frito-Lay's probably kicking themselves that they didn't hire Greta Gerwig to direct the Doritos movie
Not too late, or maybe
Yeah, okay
There was a report in Ad Age
That Doritos was working on a specific Doritos for female consumers
As their needs and preferences were evolving
And then they had to walk it back
Doritos had to deny that they were doing this
And I think that was
You know what, I think a lot of our classic stuff was from the top 5 too
Like the Ed Sheeran bed sheet stuff
That was before 2018, right?
Right
That was like 20, I don't know when that was
I'm gonna guess that's earlier
17, 16
Jake not knowing Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You
That took place
2018? Really?
In late 2018
See that doesn't, that doesn't track for me
I think that would have been earlier
Time flies
I mean it's still 5 years ago
I would have thought that would be year 1
Because I remember we did like a Christmas episode in 2015
The most recent thing on this list is Big League Chew
Todd Field in Big League Chew
That was pretty classic
That was only October 2022
Herm Yarl was December 2020
That feels like yesterday
The Lord Hathaway baseball player
I don't remember what that is at all
I've heard about that one because
You've heard about that one?
I've heard about that one because people seem to like it
Grape ice cream, of course I remember grape ice cream
You know what I don't remember at all?
Popcorn and raisins
What was it?
It was so big we made merch
I know, I was wearing this sweatshirt last weekend
We were camping with some other families
And one of the dads was like "What's that sweatshirt? What's the deal?"
And I was like "Well, it's like a very inside baseball joke"
I had to just kind of, just for, because he's a civilian
I had to shorthand it, I said "For a podcast that I'm involved in"
I couldn't, I just didn't have it in me at that moment
To just do the whole history of the internet radio show
But also you didn't want to just say "Internet radio show" and move on?
I wanted to just move on, I didn't want to dwell on the sweatshirt
What if you said "Oh, that sounds interesting, tell me more about it"
No, because the vibe I was giving off was
Because I didn't remember the origin of the joke, this is why I'm bringing it up
So I was sort of just like "Can we just move on? I don't want to talk about this shirt"
Because I don't even know what the, I don't remember the origin story
So I was like "It's an esoteric joke"
It's a deep cut, it's a deep cut
I mean, the truth is, I think it's just something
It was like a running gag that maybe only I thought was funny
What was the gag? Was it the worst snack ever?
I would sort of try to pitch this, right?
As a snack idea
And it came up a few times
I mean, it's a great sweatshirt
I appreciate that
A gorgeous sweatshirt
I wear it a lot
It's like a bottled after a vampire weekend
Oh right, it's the collegiate look
Right, yeah
You should have just said "This is where I went to college"
That's where I got my degree
I do remember pitching it once to a friend of the show, Kazzy David
And she was disgusted
And I think that's where it peaked
Where she was like, she thought it was such a grotesque
I think it's my favorite piece of TC merch
I mean, the tie-dye 8-Minute Cape Cod is a classic
I wear that a lot too
Do you remember we donated the proceeds to Broke Vegans?
The popcorn and raisins proceeds?
Do you remember this?
There was an initiative
Vaguely
And I really did this
You found a few Broke Vegans?
There was something on Twitter where Broke Vegans had to state their case
And I think I wound up
I think I was in Japan at the time
And I divided up however couple hundred dollars we had profited
And then gave it to a few Broke Vegans
And then this quote-unquote made like $40
I have to interject here guys
Our audience might be confused
Because it turns out
That the popcorn and raisins bit
Actually was cut from the show
What?
Yeah
It's original mention didn't actually make the show
Because
I don't know if we're giving too much away here
But you know, we talk for a long time
And I think that it's
The reason it's presented in such a tight, incredible form
Because of our editors
Oh yeah
Wait a second
And so this joke
We thought maybe the rest of the world had shared with us
Was actually cut
So we must have brought it up again
Because people know what popcorn and raisins
Yes, but I don't know in what kind
So maybe people have been confused the whole time
They don't know the origin story
We don't know the origin story
This is a reference without a reference
Hold on, maybe Matt can you just chime in and explain this to us?
Yes
This is actually
This is one of my deepest time crisis shames
Oh my
I cut the popcorn and raisins bit
The original mention for time reasons
And Seinfeld continued to go on Twitter
And talk about it
So this whole time
I've watched you guys talk about popcorn and raisins
And there was never the initial mention
Wow
So it went from being something that was talked about on Twitter
Into casual comments
So you've selectively
Without people knowing
As a result of your selective editing
I've seemed completely insane
On the show
Talking about something we can't root back to anything
In reality
Oh that makes so much more sense now
Popcorn and raisins
Oh sh*t
I thought it made our Twitter seem more fun
Okay
Yeah like it was just
Yeah
Because you probably said
Do you guys think popcorn and raisins sounds like a great snack
So there's a little bit of context
Next time a normal person
Asks you about your sweatshirt
Hey man
What's popcorn and raisins?
And say
Okay buddy I see where the confusion is
Famously
Imagine you're just talking to some random dad
Episode 62
Famously the episode 62 Seinfeld 2000
Initial reference was cut
By the producer
However on Twitter
He kept
He kept talking about it
And became an important part of the time crisis community
I hope that clears things up
The guy's like
Not at all
What are you talking about?
On a more serious note
Someone did tweet recently
Like what is the proper ratio of popcorn to raisins?
And I just said
I said 1 to 1
But I would be curious
Or are you guys picturing more popcorn
Yeah I'm thinking 70 to 30
70 to 3?
80 to 20
No you gotta go 50 50
Ugh
Ew
And I like the idea
And I think that's gross
It's okay
Well
I guess it's to each his own
Sure
I think
The Lord Hathaway baseball player was
On the sillier side of the TC spectrum
It was something about
I guess we were talking about baseball being boring
And we were saying
There should be more like characters
A la wrestling
And so we kind of created a character called Lord Hathaway
Who's kind of like
Uh
You know like the kind of guy that the crowd would boo
Uh huh
Like a rich fancy guy
Like he comes out and the working class crowd is like
Oh no
And Lord Hathaway is just like
Whatever
And I think he has his butler come out
And brush the plate
That's the thing that I remember
I kind of remember that
And everybody's like oh this f***ing guy
Yeah a heel
A heel of baseball
Yeah a heel
What else do we have on this list?
The worst margarita of Jake's life
I mean that had a long life
Became a Mountain Brew song
Um
The Larry David cameo
That's pretty legendary
Vin Diesel covering It Ain't Me by Kygo
2017
Getting a little deep
Early
Okay episode 38
That's pretty early
Yeah
Abscond with the bread
Yeah of course I remember that phrase
Alright
What was the one that I
On the text thread that sounded interesting
It was like really early
It was like episode 20
Hmm
Can I
I want to say briefly
I
As far as regrets go
The Larry David cameo
You know for years
I've been wondering what Seinfeld would be like today
And I think about this from time to time
Larry David unexpectedly joins the show
And I froze like a deer in headlights
I like
I was so stunned by his appearance
That I feel like I um
I could have shot my shot
And uh
And for some reason I just was paralyzed
By him
I was so surprised
You just couldn't believe it
I couldn't believe it
And I just froze up
And you
You had a very
You had a great interview with him
Um
Maybe it's for the best
Maybe that's
Maybe that's the way
Uh
It was supposed to go
But
He might have freaked out
He might have
Yeah well that's true
Well cause also he
He might have mistook you for
Modern Seinfeld
Or some other account
Like I could imagine
If you were like
If you were just like
Um
Larry I just wanted to ask
Um
What do you think um
Seinfeld would be like today
Do you think um
You know
Uh
Garge might have iPad
Or Cray
And he's just like
I can just picture him like
Rudy Giuliani style
Freak out like
Oh here we f***
Kazzy who are these
Is this f***
These are these f***
I've been hearing about
Oh my god
Enough you're sick
There's something wrong with you
Right
Enough
That
Right
That may have been what I wanted to avoid
Um
I found it
Uh 20
Episode 22
The Peter Cetera
Glory of love discussion
Which dovetailed into Nixon
And postmodernism
And then Jake replies
That sounds interesting
Right
It does
Zero memory of it
But
I also don't remember that
I mean everything kind of comes back to postmodernism
I mean
Talking about culture
Yeah
Your uh
Your riff on uh
The I uh
I P
I P S L
Yeah the I P S L riff
I mean it's
Yeah we're so far gone
It's sometimes
It's
It almost feels like silly to say it like
Yeah we know
We know we're in the desert of the real grandpa
Come on man
Why don't we get into the top five
And we got something kind of
Kind of interesting
I mean
We're in the top five
And we got something kind of exciting
For our big two hundredth episode
It's time for the top five
Five on iTunes
This week we're gonna be comparing
The top five songs
Right now
On Apple Music
Versus the top five Billboard
Hot 100 songs
Of the week that TC first aired
Which is July 12th, 2015
So just about eight years
A little bit over eight years
We'll be taking a ride back to the
Cultural milieu in which this show started
So we're gonna start with the top five song
The week that TC first aired
2015
Fetty Wap
With Trap Queen
Yeah this does feel like a pretty long time ago
It's pre-Trump era EDM
Right
2015
That was a real classic phrase
That got thrown around
2017 to 2020
Trump era EDM
Oh yeah
Did you do a top five the first episode?
Do you remember?
I don't remember
I remember you played a lot of Billy Joel
On the first episode
And that kind of got the internet going for about five minutes
Yeah
Like this guy
The guy from Vampire Weekends played Billy Joel
On this new Apple Music service
It took a while
I mean I'm sure when the show started
People were expecting
You know just like me playing some cool music
Uh huh
Hey guys
Actually this is a band that
You know doing some interesting things in Brooklyn right now
Uh they just released their first EP
It's getting a little bit of buzz
And I really like track two
So uh here it is
Yeah college DJ
Yeah
Ezra's back in his college DJ mode
No you're going
Playing songs off The Stranger
Yeah
And then you have me on
Maybe episode four or five
What am I bringing to the table?
The Eagles
The Eagles and The Dead
Oh and The Dead
When I remember when you first came on to discuss The Dead
I took a
I did kind of like a character
That was like combative
It was like kids don't care about the dead man
Make your case
Little did we know
Was that a character?
I think that was pre your conversion
Because I remember playing Scarlett Begonia's
And you were like
We listened to like the first two verses
Or verse chorus kind of thing
And you like cut it off
And I was like wait for the solo man
I have a vivid memory of that
Well it was like half and half
I hadn't been
I was already you know
Curious
Richard Pictures pilled
Oh that's right I guess so
And I was you know
And I just had my like soft spot
East coast soft spot
So I was halfway there
But one thing for sure
I didn't see or feel
The huge resurgence on the horizon
So my feeling was a little bit like
Yeah I like this but you know
Yeah that's what's
Other people don't really care
Funny about Richard Pictures
Was when we started it
It's funny to say this
In 2014 it really was a different context
It did seem kind of weird
And now it almost seems like played out
To have a Grateful Dead cover band
There's so many of them
And that's great
It's great for the
It's very fun for the scene
We played some shows this summer
And like the crowds were awesome
There was a lot of young people there
In a way that when we played shows
In like 2015 it was like
Old heads
And now it's like all kids
With like new merch
Oh, remember me boys
Remember me boys
That was Fetty Wap
One of my favorite rap songs
From the 2010s
Yeah when I first saw Richard Pictures play
When do you think that was?
2014?
2014 is when we started playing shows
I think I saw one of your first shows
I think you saw the first one
At that place Pear Space
Yeah it's funny
I remember having a feeling
That you know like Joe Walsh said
Life as it's coming at you
Feels like a bunch of chaotic
Chaos and meaningless chaos
But then as you look backwards
It's like a finely written novel man
A finely crafted novel
Because I can look back now
And I can like clockwork
I can look at these eras
Because 2014 to me
Was the end of my first experience
With indie
You know I always felt like
With Vampire Weekend
I can look back now and say
Yeah of course we were part of a bigger thing
But you know at the time
I always felt like well you know
We started up at like college
And Morningside Heights
I didn't feel very connected
To Brooklyn stuff
And the Brooklyn wave
And all those kind of bands
And I always felt like
Well it's a coincidence
I happen to know Dave
Your brother from Dirty Projectors
But the idea this is like a scene
I don't know who Animal Collective is
I always you know
Of course I can look back
And say it was a time and a place
But if I look at that whole era
To me that era felt really over
In 2014
Especially just for me
Because 2014 was the end of touring
Modern Vampires
And I had this kind of exhausted feeling
Of like wow
I just you know blinked
And all these years went by
Time waits for no one
Things had moved on
And so to have this feeling 2014
I don't know what I was doing in LA at the time
But probably just like
Hanging out
Thinking about what to do next
And then to see Richard Pictures
Right at that
At the end of something
And I remember thinking like
This is the best thing I've seen
In a long time
Finally a band that I like
Because I was feeling like
Who cares about indie bands anymore
Nobody cares anymore
It's played out whatever
And then I see
Finally see a guitar band
That I liked
And that got me kind of
Reinvigorated and excited
About guitar music again
The fact that it happened to be
My dear friend Jake
The American Painter
And Radio Personality's cover band
Just makes it that much better
But I remember feeling a little bit like
Something had ended
And then where I least expected it
I see something exciting again
And you know I've always said that
When I was doing like press for
Father of the Bride
And then it took us
Five years I guess to get that album out
You know working slow
And doing other stuff
But when I first saw you guys
It was no feeling of
Yeah you know what
It's cool because
I've been noticing these cool
Like Grateful Dead shirts popping up
There truly was none of that
The excitement was purely about the music
Who could have predicted that
Over the next
Yeah it's crazy
Eight years
Was Dead & Co. even a thing in 2014?
No I think that started in 2015
Wow
Because I remember when we started
Doing the show in 2015
That was the 50th anniversary
And that was famously
You were famously unimpressed
The first time you saw them
You said John Merrill lacked tone
Right
Was that 2015?
Yeah I went to the Hollywood Bowl show
That's when they formed
Was 2015?
Yeah
So what a difference a year makes
Yeah
Anyway
And so that got something moving
But even that still seemed a little bit
Like you know the heads were excited
But it still seemed a little fuddy-duddy
You know
Well initially it was like three shows
They were like we're playing like
In Shoreline Amphitheater
And in Chicago
And like Trey was gonna come out
Yeah
And like they did three shows
And it was like oh it's the 50th anniversary
It's the 30th anniversary of Jerry Garcia's death
You know like summer
August of 2015
Right
So it only became really a thing
Maybe 2016, 2017
Or I guess his 20th anniversary
I don't know
Anyway
Suffice to say
The Richard Pictures Live in LA 2014
Was truly you know a spark in the dark
Years before you would walk to like
You know a cool cafe
And see people wearing like
Online ceramics shirts and stuff
Online ceramics was selling stuff
At our early shows
Interesting
Yeah
I remember that guy Alex
That was one of the co-founders
He was at all our early shows
I have some early online ceramic shirts
Wow
They are grailed by some folks
They're sitting in the bottom of my t-shirt drawer
Always picking that
Popcorn and raisins over it
You might wanna sell those
But anyway
I'm glad that Richard Pictures is still going
You were there before it was cool
You're there when it's cool
You're still there
Even if it's less cool
Riding that wave
The number five song this week
On Apple Music
Zach Bryan
"Hey Driver"
Featuring the Warren Treaty
And now we have a Zach Bryan super fan
Here
It's true
It's Jake
Just kidding
It's Nick
I'm wearing the merch
I'm even wearing the merch
To a place they still put sugar in their iced tea
Where the women are fine and the love is gay
So this is unusual
First of all I'm surprised this is one of the ones that charted
Because this is
Definitely all of the songs from this album that came out
Friday
They're all charting
But this is not one of the singles
It's the Casey Musgrave song that's a big one
And then one of his other duets
With this other great young country singer, Ciara
Maybe soon you need to do a whole Zach Bryan episode
Because I have yet to go deep on him
Have you, Jake?
No I haven't
Do you know who he is?
Yeah
What do you know about him?
He's unavoidable
I mean I was just skimming the Stephen Hyden article this morning
I'd like to hear you
While I was drinking some coffee
I mean I know he did "Eight Years in the Navy"
He's from Oklahoma
Started releasing music in 2021 on Twitter
Or Instagram
I've listened to some of it
I dig it
I just haven't gone deep
I was going to put a mix together
Maybe that's something we can
Yeah because you told me that you've been to a bunch of shows
And you said there's almost a Bruce Springsteen energy
And my feeling was
Okay, most of what I've heard from him is kind of like
Ballady?
Right
Or you know this song's got no drums
Does he have boogie woogie songs?
Yeah, and it rips
I mean he has big sounding big drum songs
I think the ones that you've heard
They definitely
Does a lot of his stuff have this kind of like
Indie feel?
Like he's country and I know people really connect with his songs
And I'm excited to get deeper into his songs
But the vibe of the music
Reminds me a lot of like
Lumineers
Even a little bit of Mumford
And the Lumineers are on this record
And they're just getting this like
The Heiden article was referencing
Dashboard Conventional and Bright Eyes
And I was like
Maybe I will steer clear of this one
No, look, someone
And I just saw a recent tweet
That some Instagram post's manager
Put up a tweet saying
Yeah this reminds me of Bright Eyes
I think it might only be emotional
Like on some emotional chord
Because this one is so much about breakups
And there's a lot of
I love the album cover
Oh it's a great album cover
Look at that jaw
Is that the end of the song?
No I stopped it
Oh
It sounds nice
We're not really listening
No it's pretty but
I just
And I could see getting deeper
Like a song like that
You gotta get into the lyrics
And that's how you're gonna judge
You know if you really connect with it
But does he have any just like
Like a pedal steal
Or like a really like
Bam bam bam
Like a nice country band
Like Cracker Jack
Yeah absolutely
Kenny Budget
He had a lot of pedal steal there
He's got a fiddler player up with him
I want a Kenny Butchery shuffle
Let me just think
Because you're right
Everything I heard is ballady
And I'm like
I'm not
That's not
I mean
That's tough for me
Try this motorcycle drive by
I wonder if this one is like
Upbeat enough for you
One two three four
One two
(guitar solo)
It's a motorcycle drive by
Baby drive it kind of
I think it's about time we headed home
Sounds like Ed Sheeran
That vocal delivery is super
Not the X-Men
Country boys don't die alone
(guitar solo)
As I told you I've never been to a show
We were talking about it
Obviously I think the Taylor Swift show
Probably has the same thing
But where every person knows every word
To every song
That's cool
And it's you know
He's playing at Crypto or T-Mobile Arena
17, 20,000 people
And I'm talking about
What an ascent
Pretty wild
Yeah
Yeah good for him
27 years old
And is it a
Okay so even with that song though
I can see
Maybe I'm getting like a fuller picture
That it's always
Like the chords are always kind of like
Emotional
Yeah that was D, A, B minor, G
(sings)
Yeah those are kind of like
Emo pop punk chords a bit
So okay and I can see how
You know he's clearly got
Away with words
People connect with him
There's not too much like
Bluesy shuffle type country
I mean no
I mean obviously this guy wears his heart on his sleeve
It's emotional music
Well you know that article I think was Stereo Gummets
Does he have fun songs?
Yeah he has fun songs
I guess it's because with the
(sings)
With the Springsteen comparison
You know to me the Springsteen thing is that
He gets emo
But then there's gotta be some like
Some like fun
Yeah
Oh yeah
Alright
You know
There are definitely fun songs
Yeah
But there's something
That maybe speaks to the
You know
Like the current emotional state
That there's a just
It's a
It's like a bloodletting
At these shows
It's just a lot of
Dudes
Very em
Crying
Yeah crying and screaming the song
So when I say
It's an incredible kind of experience
What is it that is
Is connecting so quickly
With huge audiences
Is it like there's a
Like it doesn't have that sort of
Phony Nashville like
No
Thing is that
That's definitely part of it
Right
I think that there's
A very specific kind of songwriting that
And storytelling that
There's a history of country music
You know
That does this but not
Current country music really
And there's
That Stereogum article that I was talking to you about
Where it's comparing him to Jackson Maine
You know
Oh right
There's not really another equivalent
Like it doesn't really
There's a handful of like
Maybe alt country people
Everything you're saying
It feels so much closer to like
The Bright Eyes world
Of connecting so deeply
With like an emotional
Singer songwriter
Heart on your sleeve
Getting like deep raw feelings
And there's a lot of guys that are revered
Like Jason Isbell for instance
That are revered in that world
Keep it closer
Yeah
Zach Bryan has ascended so far beyond that
In terms of popularity
I'm just sort of
I think that there's a certain amount of the song
And I really like Jason Isbell too
Sure
But you know there's
He's definitely connecting on like
A very like working class
Was in the Navy
And storytelling
I
And there's also an anthemic part
You know to the sound too
And maybe it's like slightly like less
It's really smart music I think
But it's maybe like less intellectual
Than even like Jason Isbell or something
It's just
It's more immediately
Connective
And it is
The other thing that I found very interesting about
And I went to two shows in a row
I went to Vegas
And then to the LA show
God you're ahead man
I'm
I got
I do have like a fever
And this is another thing
Have you been this excited about an artist
In the last five years?
Outside of Kanye?
No
And maybe when Little Peep started
And when Tyler started
And I was like
He's already huge
And the thing is
He maybe hasn't had a song yet
That everybody knows
But what
I think what often happens with these
Types of characters
They hit a certain group of people
So hard immediately
Maybe Lana Del Rey is
Kind of like the same thing
And then just like eventually
It's so big
It resonates so hard with people
And some of it is just atmosphere and vibe
And then eventually
They make that
You know
Album of the year type album
That like the critics go nuts
Maybe this is his album
I actually don't know
But you know what I mean
It's like they start out
It's resonating with people
And some people are like
Oh it seems cool
But I haven't found my way in yet
They almost always
Produce that album eventually
Or that song
He did this thing
That maybe you can help me
Sort of understand a bit more
Because I've never heard of anyone
In the music business doing this
And he definitely
His sort of
His own PR statement
Was that he
There was no real roll out with this
But he's in the middle of touring
Another album
And he released this album
And he plays no songs
From this album at all
During the whole tour
So there was no real announcement
He was doing it
But he releases this huge album
In the middle of another tour
So he's also just very prolific
Yeah
He's got that in common
With our next artist
Taylor Swift
Number four
Another classic country artist
Off the 1989 album
2015
How often do you think
Taylor Swift and Kendrick Lamar talk?
In person, not often, on text?
Daily
Do you think Kendrick Lamar
Sent her a congrats on the tour
Gift basket?
I don't know enough about Kendrick's style
I'm gonna guess no
But who knows
His gift giving style?
Yeah, like his personality
Is that something he would do?
I don't know
I'm sure he does it for some people
Oh, Kendrick Lamar
In May was at
Taylor Swift's star studded party
At Electric Lady Studios in New York
Does that do anything?
No, that's just like
Kind of industry stuff
I'm talking about an unsolicited
Gift or text from Kendrick to Taylor
Or vice versa
They're both at the top of their fields
So at a certain point
They have to just kind of
Yeah, recognize each other
Game recognize game
You know, it's the same
Like, you know
I'm sure that
You don't know exactly why
But I'm sure
You know, the CEO of Nike
Checks in with the CEO of Starbucks
At least once a year
You think?
Yeah
Or they run into each other in Aspen
Or something
It's just kind of like
How the hell are you?
Yeah, friend of the show
Gerard Carmichael
Was also at the studio
Oh, that's cool
The number four song this week
"Gonna F*** You Mean"
We heard this last week
Yeah, we heard this last week
Spooky
Spooky beat
Alright, we're not gonna have anything to say about this
Number three song
This week in 2015
Remember this one?
"Silento"
Maybe
This is a dance song
You can follow what he says
Oh yeah
Watch me nae nae
Remember famously
Hillary Clinton whipped a nae nae
Her way right out of the race
Wait, so that's from this song?
Well, he didn't
I don't think he invented the dance moves
But he certainly popularized them with this song
He also said "Pokemon Go to the polls"
Do you remember that?
Oh yeah, legendary
I've heard that reference
I still say it
It's a cursed conversation
Yeah, nobody wants to hear about that
But for real
You should "Pokemon Go to the polls"
Next time there's an election
Just do it
Come on guys
Jokes aside
"Pokemon Go to the polls"
We gotta keep moving
The number three song
I mean, again
Do we really have time to talk about this?
We might have to do an all
Let's do this
I haven't even heard this song
So the number three song
I don't wanna hear this f***ing damn song
He doesn't wanna do it
It's not that I don't wanna do it
Okay, we're just gonna
We're fine
Let's give this some real time
We'll give this some real time
Finally
The biggest hit of the last few weeks
We're finally ready to talk about it
Oliver Anthony
Although his artist name is Oliver Anthony Music Everywhere
I love that
Some like Myspace social media stuff
Just like the first artist
Who just kinda never even gets their own name
Just Oliver Anthony Productions
Oliver Anthony Music LLC
To keep it separate from his other personal
Oliver Anthony MySpace account
Or his other Apple Music account
Oliver Anthony
Where he just
He has an internet radio show
OliverAnthonyMusic@gmail.com
It's a business account
Here's the newest hit from Oliver Anthony Music@gmail.com
Richmen, North of Richmond
I've been selling my soul
Working all day
So this song did go to number one on the Billboard, right?
Yeah
Hot 100
I believe he's the first artist ever to
Go to number one on the Billboard
Without having ever had released any other music before
What the world's gotten to
For people like me
People like you
Wish I could just wake up
This is your first time hearing this, Jake?
In its entirety, yes
But it is
Oh, it is
Living in the new world
With an old soul
He's from Farmville, Virginia
Sounds made up
Maybe he is an industry plant
That's weird
What's your name, son?
Oliver Anthony
Music
Music
Well, sir, my name's Oliver Anthony Music
Where are you from?
Farm- Farmville?
Wait, isn't Farmville a game people play on Facebook?
Wait, it is, right?
Yes
Like the Sims
It's literally called Farmville?
Hang on
I'm pretty sure
Yeah, Farmville
My name's Oliver Anthony Music, sir
I'm from Facebook, Tennessee
And I just really want to sing country music
Ain't got folks in the street
Ain't got nothing to eat
And the old beast, milk and welfare
Come on, people, it's South
It's South, man
Taxes ought not to pay
For your bags of five-drowned
Okay, this is the big line, Jake
Let's make sure that you hear this
I missed that
Look out for miners
And not just miners
On an island somewhere
Lord, we got folks in the street
Ain't got nothing to eat
And the old beast, milk and welfare
The old beast
God, if you're five foot three
And you're three hundred pounds
Taxes ought not to pay
For your bags of five-drowned
Young men are putting American idiots
In the last man
'Cause all this damn country does
Is keep on kicking them down
Lord, it's a damn shame
What the world's gotten to
For people like me
For people like you
Wish I could just wake up
And it not be true
But it is
It's a damn shame
Living in the new world
With the whole soul
With the whole soul
The rich man told the rich
To roll with the total control
Wanna know what you think
Wanna know what you do
And they don't think you know
But I know that you do
You think this is just recorded live to Pro Tools file?
There's a video that made it look like it's live
Who knows?
No over, it's just
Who knows? He could be punching in lines
[Guitar playing]
I've been selling my soul
Working all day
Overtime hours
For bullish pay
Yeah, it is interesting
I mean, it's like, like that last line
Definitely there's some themes with
Resident with like Bruce Springsteen or something
Overtime hours
It is interesting to think about if Bruce had had a
Different kind of political valence
And had some random lines in Born in the USA about like
Welfare
Right
It's kind of fascinating
It's no surprise that this guy is a country guy
Right
And he's southern because
What even genre would a white working class guy from the north
Even operate in
If he was going to be a Bruce Springsteen of today
Because if a guy came out and he was doing Bruce Springsteen style rock and roll
It would be too contrived
Yeah
And if he was doing kind of like tasteful indie rock
If there is like a working class guy down the shore in Jersey
And he came out sounding like Big Thief
It also just wouldn't quite work
And then if he did country
He could do country
That's what he would do
Yeah
And it helps if you're actually southern
Bruce would have been doing country trap today
Down the shore
Well yeah so what ultimately
Maybe it's good that we're talking about this song now
Because it is a pretty good song
And he's got a pretty good voice
Seems like a passionate guy
I've found like maybe the whole
The hubbub around it annoying
Just because it's so predictable
If I had to summarize what I've seen
About this song and the story of this song
Which I haven't gone super deep
But this is just my you know
The little bits and pieces I've gotten
Guy comes out with this angry song
What's wrong with the world today?
He says a few slightly edgy provocative things
Although talking about Epstein is not
Is basically mainstream
People have been joking about Epstein
Didn't kill himself for years
So having this idea about the miners on an island
Okay
And that's also pretty apolitical
Yeah it's pretty
Yeah exactly
It definitely feels like it's more
Whatever QAnon adjacent
Outside of the Epstein stuff
Well I'd bet yeah
But here's the thing
So he comes out you know
And then he's talking about
Being anti-welfare definitely
We would say is pretty classically right wing
Not anti-welfare
He's anti
Obese people on welfare
Well just yeah
Yeah and I guess he could probably frame it as
I'm not anti-welfare
I'm just saying that the government
Should give people healthy food
And not give fat people fudge rounds
So he posted a fudge round
Yeah
On his Instagram
On his MySpace
And wrote
Our government likes to throw money at problems
Without conceptualizing real solutions
That connect the individuals involved
The lyrics contrast that some are left without any
And others are left with the option of living on junk food
Meanwhile our farming industry has been
Corporatized and sold out
Food is entirely too expensive
Especially in a nation with abundant farmland
In politics it's all about keeping people
Who are dependent dependent
It's hard to you know
That's a
Yeah and he tries to say that that's
Well so then the right wing
Because that is the right wing talking point right
Well he has later said
And has said that under no circumstances
Is this a right wing talking point
I know but that's what
No no but he's
Specifically addressed when the GOP
Talked about it and basically said like
Don't you know don't talk about me that way
I mean
Richmond North of Richmond is about
Corporate owned DC politicians on both sides
Though Biden's most certainly a problem
The lyrics aren't exclusively knocking Biden
It's bigger and broader than that
It's knocking the system collectively
Including corporate owned conservative politicians
Who were on stage that night
I mean that's pretty direct
Yeah but I think maybe that's why I find
This whole thing somewhat uninteresting
Is it's kind of like
Guy writes a song that essentially is saying
Things are so messed up
I'm angry things are messed up
Then one side of the political spectrum is like
Yeah exactly you're on our side
And then the other side you know
So just like you had right wingers being like
This guy's writing a right wing anthem
Or he's talking about how hard it is to be like
A working class white guy
You saw that
And then instantaneously like clockwork
So boring
You have people being like
No this guy's like a fascist
And actually he liked some 9/11 conspiracy videos
And he's QAnon and whatever
So you have these equally simple takes
That he's either a right wing hero
Or he's a QAnon nut job
And then he comes out and goes like
No guys I'm neither one of those things
I'm just
And I don't want to be taken
I'm just saying it's all messed up
And then my feeling is kind of like
Yeah cool
Anyway
You know what I mean
You wrote a song
I'm not dissing him
Like he's talented
And good for him for resonating with so many people
I just feel like
The story of the song makes an even more interesting point
Than the song itself
And it'll be interesting to see where he goes from here
Cause you know
The house always wins I guess is what I'm saying
I do like an artist getting into very specific
Policy arguments online
Yeah
I almost wish he would go
Really deep into food production
I wish he would go further down that road
Because I think
If you're not gonna deal with politics per se
You don't want to deal with political parties
As he clearly doesn't want to
Then you might as well get deep into specific policy
So if he follows this one up
With a song specifically
About like food policy and welfare
And say like
If he wrote one
He's like
Now when I was talking about fudge rounds
I'm not against dessert
Because if your feelings are hurt
And you want to get some
And he started going really deep
And just being like
All I'm saying is
When you use your
If you're part of the SNAP program
Then you should only have access
To healthy types of dessert
And I don't mean just fruit
But maybe some ice cream too
Cane sugar
Yeah cane sugar
None of this GMO corn-raised corn syrup
All of this GMO crap
You should get a Mexican Coke
And a
Jenny
Van Leeuwen ice cream
If you started getting into that
Alright man
I feel you
Yeah I mean
Neil Young did that
The album about Monsanto
If he just took that
Even one step further
And just started getting hyper technical
Then you got my interest, Oliver
Do we want to listen to his previous single
I've Got to Get Sober?
Wow
Just to see
It charted at
It charted on number 35
Previous?
I thought this was his first song
His previous single
Microblastic
Because he clearly
He didn't really want to get too political
With this single
Maybe
I've Got to Get Sober
Was actually the follow up song
But he's like
Richmond, North of Richmond
Boy was I drunk
I'm just trying to be a mainstream guy
Not ruffle any feathers
I'm not right, I'm not left
I'm right down the middle
Come on
I've Got to Get Sober
I really got to get sober
I must reiterate that I was very drunk
Track 3, seed oils
I mean he's
On his Wikipedia
It's like he's got like
He's got like 20
20 songs that came out before
Let's listen to I Get Sober
I've Got to Get Sober
He's bigger than this song
It sounds like
George Jones song, right?
Here we go
I just want a neo-country guy
Who rocks a little bit
Yeah, these guys are all such sad sacks
Zach Bryan is not a sad sack
He seems like a little bit of a
Nothing wrong with that
And the way we've been living
Just a song that we write till we die
Now some people write songs on living just right
But I write my own just to get by
I wonder what his speaking voice sounds like
Cause this is like a big thing that he's doing
I go on to win
Start writing the hymn
That sounds so sweet
A real appellation
It's like a civil war
I like this
I love this
And the scent of the world that we're in
Knock me back
He says a hint, he says "howers"
Did you catch that in the last one?
It said "hours"
I gotta get sober
Is it crickets?
Yeah, he records all of that stuff
Alright, I like his vibe
I think we need to go deep into the heart of the south
And find a young angry guy who served in the military
And is working class
But also likes to rock
We need like a good pick up band
He has a rollicking pick up band
And his first single, which we're gonna co-write with him
Is called "Cheer Up Boys"
We gotta get these BPMs up
Bam bam
I'm gonna make you a high BPM
Cheer up boys!
I can't, I can't, this is killing me
Can there be like a
He's not a bummer
Can there be like a washboard player, like a guy at a jug?
Like a drinking bae?
Like a jug band?
A jug band
Industry plant, jug band
I'm telling you, I want active bass playing
I want some like really fun, sort of tasteful pedal steel fills coming in there
Banjo?
A guy on a telecaster
Maybe a fiddle?
I don't think I need a banjo
And the song is, he walks into a bar
Where everybody's listening to like Sad Sack
It can get kind of fun and meta
Then he puts on the very record that he's singing
He tells the DJ to put on my new song
It's called "Cheer Up Boys"
And he gets everybody in the bar dancing
And he basically says
Hey, you can't trust any of these fools
Richmond, North of, Richmond
But hey, what are you gonna do?
We're going to hell in a handbasket
Cheer up boys
Cheer up boys, one, two, three, let's go
Cheer up boys drinks on me
In parentheses
In parentheses, drinks on me
His voice says, but I got to get sober
And he's like, you can party one more night with me
His "I got to get sober" parentheses, tomorrow
Yeah, tomorrow, yeah
And my buddy said, I got to get sober
And I said, yes you do
First thing tomorrow
The number two song
The week that Time Crisis premiered in 2015
I have not thought about this song in just about eight years
Cheerleader
When I need motivation
My one solution is my queen
'Cause she stay strong
Yeah, yeah
She is always in my corner right there
I'm feeling this
This is what I'm talking about
Cheer up boys
But I'm empty when you're gonna be sick
Do you need me?
Do you think I'm pretend?
Do I make you feel like you do?
Wasn't it a remix of this song that was like the big one?
Oh, I think that I found myself a cheerleader
This must have been on some early episodes
Yes
Oh, I think that I found myself a cheerleader
This is the one that was really big
Yeah, this sounds more familiar
When I need motivation
My one solution is my queen
'Cause she stay strong
Yeah, yeah
She is always in my corner right there
When I wanna
All these other girls are tempting
But I'm empty when you're gone
And they say
Do you need me?
Do you think I'm pretend?
Do I make you feel like you do?
Wasn't it a remix of this song that was like the big one?
Oh, I think that I found myself a cheerleader
This is good
Come on, bro
I like it, it feels good
This is bad call
Listen
What do I know? I mean, this was a hit
Yeah
The first version was so much sweeter
Yeah
She walks like a model
She grants my wishes like a dream
I think this is way faster, too
Yes
I actually, I'd love to hear all of Ranthony music cover this
And I got the magic wand
All these other girls are tempting
But I'm empty when you're gone
And they say
Do you need me?
I love the pre-chorus
Do you think I'm pretty?
Do you think I'm pretty?
I don't know about you, Ranthony
I like this guy is so polite where they said like
The other girls said to him
Do you need me?
Do you think I'm pretty?
Do I make you feel like cheating?
I say no, not really 'cause
It's just a sweet guy
No, not really
And also, yeah, who are these weird
These women saying
Do you feel like cheating?
Hey, can I ask you a question?
Do you think I'm pretty?
And it's like, uh
Sure
Sure, you're
Yeah, you seem like an attractive woman
Now we're getting somewhere
I like
Just this really aggressive female pickup artist
Just, if I can ask you a second question
Do I make you feel like cheating?
This guy's just like drinking like an orange juice with a straw
No, not really
I'm picturing she has like a free samples table at the grocery store
And she's just hitting up random guys
Just handing out little cups of smoothies
Yeah
Let me ask you something
Do you feel like cheating?
Uh
Do you like the smoothie?
Yes
Do you think I'm pretty?
Um, I suppose so
Do I make you feel like cheating?
Um, no, not really
It's a green flag, ladies
Um, no, not really
Some poor guy at the Costco
Do I make you feel like cheating?
No, not really
It's like sort of still a soft note
I can work with that
Door's still open
Um, not really
I don't know why it sounds so like sweet and nerdy to me
It's like Pee Wee Herman or something
Um, not really
This guy wants to say yes
But my wife's over there shopping for
Right
Do you have a business card or something you can hand me?
Make it fast, make it fast
Do you have like a QR code I can scan or something?
My wife comes over, so
Are samples any good?
What is this?
What's going on here?
I just gave your husband a smoothie sample and some coupons
He gets back from the supermarket
His wife's like, how was it?
Funny story
The woman giving out smoothie samples
Very flirtatious with me
Um, okay
Don't worry
What do you mean?
What did she say to you?
She asked if I thought she was pretty
Okay
And what did you say?
I said maybe
Wanted to be nice
I wanted to try to be nice
Then what?
She asked if I felt like cheating
We're doing this for the eighth time
To make you feel like cheating
What did you say?
I said no, not really
That's a feel good song
Yep
Look, with all due respect to the sad sack
Oliver Anthony music
Yes, there's a lot of suffering in this world
And of course in America
Just like anywhere
I just hope that we all remember
That the universe put these two songs together
In our top five
That we remember just 'cause
You might wake up with a Rich Man North of Richmond
Kind of day on your mind
You walk out, you're going to work
Stressed about money, all sorts of problems
You look over at your obese neighbors
Chomping on their fudge rounds
And you say, man, can't you use that welfare to eat something healthy?
You can't believe it
You listen to these politicians talk
Just, you know, you could also have a cheerleader moment later in the day
You know, that's the power of love
As bad as things get
As hard as those Rich Man North of Richmond screw us
Especially the most vulnerable among us
If you got a good woman
It's all you need
Good person
Whatever you're into
Paint the town red, Doja Cat
This week
Oh, I like this song
Oh, it's Samples Walk on By?
Jake, have you heard this?
I've not heard this
Walk on by
Walk on by
Yeah, yeah
I said what I said
I'd rather be famous instead
I let all that get to my head
I don't care, I paint the town red
I said what I said
I'd rather be famous instead
I let all that get to my head
I don't care, I paint the town red
Mmm, she the devil
She a bad lil'
She a rebel
She put her foot to the pedal
It'll take a whole life for me to settle
Mmm, she the devil
She a bad lil'
She a rebel
She put her foot to the pedal
It'll take a whole life for me to settle
Yeah, said my happiness is all of your misery
I put the gold in my kidneys
This small jug don't come with no jealousy
My illness don't come with no remedy
I am so much fun without Hennessy
They just want my love and my energy
A two second preview of the song was shared by Doja Cat
I feel like this is like a new way, like
recently the trend to preview new songs is like to drop like
You get them hyped off a two second snip
Right, like an almost like indecipherable
That's what Oliver Anthony Music did
He sent
Fudge rounds!
Everyone's like, what is this?
I gotta know more
Full song dropping next Tuesday
John Cougar Mellencamp tried that in 1984 with the
Chilly Dog!
But it was before the internet so it didn't really
Chilly Dog, Chilly Dog!
Didn't work
Great song from Doja Cat
The number one song the week that Time Crisis premiered in 2015
This is a classic
I remember listening to this a lot back then
Mmm
This would go off as like a sad emo country song
It's been a long day
I'm actually not kidding that Oliver Anthony Music could smash this
That'd be crazy
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way
From where we began
When his obese neighbor dies
He starts to feel a little bit like
God, was I too hard on that guy?
My song went viral and my neighbor was just like
Come on man
You know I struggle with my weight
I don't only eat fudge rounds
And also you're allowed to
I know we love to hit the road and laugh
But something told me that it wouldn't last
Had to switch up
Look at things different, see the bigger picture
Those were the days, hard work forever pays
Now I see you in a better place
Uh
How can we not talk about family
My family's all that we got
You know when you say you could cover this
It's sort of like Luke Combs
We never talked about Fast Car
That never charted while we did this
No we never did it
Then there was the country cover of Chasin' Chapman
So it'd be cool, you know
Wait, is this from a different song?
No, this is original
This is the hook and then it's like
Okay
Charlie, this is the first Charlie Puth hit
Before he became a prominent solo artist
Do you remember the name of
Rest in peace Paul Walker
Yeah, do you remember the name of Charlie Puth's fans?
Puthinators?
Yes!
Really?
The Puthinators
Yeah, we talked about it
I remember, I learned that on this show
That was deep in the recesses of my mind
Good one, yeah
Held on to that one
I thought it was the Puth and Reconciliation Committee
Yes
That's what the fan base is called
The individual ones are Puthinators
But the whole fan base is called
They belong
It's called the Puth and Reconciliation Committee
Okay, one thing I noticed
About the top five Billboard hits
Versus what we've been listening to now
In an interesting way
2015 is way more pop
Like everything we heard there is slick
Bad Blood was one of Taylor Swift's
Slickest, poppiest songs
Since then she kind of went her own
Kind of emo, folky thing
You know, if you compare the Fetty Wap to the Gunna
Fetty Wap is even kind of slick and fun
The Gunna's way kind of like darker
Summertime sadness
Yeah, we have some summertime sadness going on
And then of course
Zach Bryan, Oliver Music
You know, like
All jokes aside
You know, deep emotion
I maintain that I think
It's a million dollar idea
To have a Cheer Up Boys country star
But you know, you need all of it
And yeah, even the Doja Cat is weird
Doja Cat is weirder
So 2015 feels more pop, more slick
And nothing illustrates that better
Than comparing See You Again
An emotional song
But a very slick, mainstream emotional song
Compare that to the number one thing on
Apple Music right now
Zach Bryan
And this is pretty
I think this is somewhat unusual for
Country to dominate
The Apple Music charts like this
Like I said last time
We've always seen iTunes
Be dominated by country
But iTunes is an older crowd
Still buys MP3s
So that's why sometimes you get
Like the kind of QAnon
Trump January 6th choir type thing
So this is the number one song right now
Zach Bryan featuring Casey Musgraves
I Remember Everything
When I hear that phrase
I guess the first thing I think of
Doesn't he say that in Hurt?
But I remember everything
I like this side of Zach Bryan
I just want to hear his crazy songs
Rotgut whiskey's gonna ease my mind
What's rotgut whiskey?
Whiskey that rots your gut
Nasty
Yeah just real cheap
Nasty whiskey
Low
Wild turkey
Yeah bottom shelf
That'd be a good name for a song
Bottom shelf
Or an album
Bottom shelf
That's for our country guy
Who sings Cheer Up Boys
His album's called Bottom Shelf
Drinks are on him
But he's buying bottom shelf
And it's like
Face is all messed up
But he's smiling
Like laying at the bottom of the floor
Next to all the cheap s***
I'd sing you my love songs
And you'd tell me about
How your mama ran off in Ponderang
I remember, I remember everything
A cold shoulder, a closing time
You begging me to stay 'til the sun rose
Strange words come on out
Of an old man's mouth when his mind's broke
Pictures in past the time
You only smile like that when you're drinking
I wish I didn't remember
We've done 400 minutes
Remember
24,000 minutes of content
Wait, oh no
Is that what it is?
24,000
Oh no, 200 times 60
Sorry, 200 times 120
400 times 60
We've logged 24,000 minutes
You know, let's say we got
Let's say we got
So for our heads out there
Let's say we got 15 people who listen
That means we've logged over 360,000 minutes listened
Yeah
I mean the truth is
Those numbers don't sound bad
And the truth is we probably
I think we have more than 15 people who listen
So we've had millions of minutes listened
Of this program
But I remember you singing in that '88 Ford
A cold shoulder, a closing time
You were begging me to stay 'til the sun rose
Strange words come on out
Of an old man's mouth when his mind's broke
Congrats to Zach Bryan
Taking over the charts
I guess congrats to country music in general
Raw, new school country
Zach Bryan and Oliver Anthony music
That's three-fifths of the charts
I've always said this
Been making this joke for a long time
Back in the 90s you'd find a type of person
Who'd say I like everything except country and rap
And now
You can't find anybody who likes anything besides country and rap
Think about that
Lots changed since the 1990s
I like country and rap, nothing else
See you for episode 201
In two weeks
Thank you to Death Spot and Winter for coming through
And commemorating this with us
And thanks to everybody who's been listening
To the show
All these years
We'll see you next time, peace
Beach-style dress on the dry line
Do I remind you of your daddy in my '88 Ford?
A Labrador hanging out the passenger door
Time Crisis
With Ezra Koenig
(burps)
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