Episode 38: The Rock vs
Links
Transcript
Transcript
Time Crisis, Sunday, March 12th.
There's a lot to discuss.
Jake made a Home Depot playlist, a dream playlist.
Vin Diesel sang a Kygo and Selena Gomez song.
All this, plus Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Dave Longstreth as our guest,
and the top five hits of 2017 and 1981.
This is... Time Crisis, with Ezra Keenan. B-b-b-b-b-beastz. 1.
They passed me by, all of those great romances.
The war I felt, robbing me of my rightful chances.
My picture clear, everything seemed so easy.
And so I delved to the floor, when a bus had to go.
Now it's different, I want you to know.
One of us is crying, one of us is lying.
Leave her lonely there, staring at the ceiling.
Wishing she was somewhere else instead.
2.
How do you feel? Is it loneliness?
Is there shining in your heart, but no gloss on your lips?
Do you sail alone, round the island with a silhouette of a shark beneath the skin?
And then you say...
Wanna be where you are, you're the right one.
Wanna be where you are, you're the right one.
Wanna be where you are, you're the right one.
The right one, the right one.
3.
You've been waiting for your love in me.
And there's been waters and deep.
We've been hanging tight for all the things we would have loved.
So wait, but if only I was there.
Wanna be where you are, you're the right one.
Wanna be where you are, you're the right one.
Wanna be where you are, you're the right one.
The right one, the right one.
Wanna be where you are, you're the right one.
Wanna be where you are, you're the right one.
The right one, the right one.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Time Crisis, Sunday, March 12th.
We're back.
I'm here with Jake.
What's up, Jake?
Hey.
But this time we got a bonus.
We got a bonus Longstreth in the building.
Dave Longstreth.
What's up, Dave?
What's up?
So Dave, you've been on the show before.
Yeah.
Dave is the guy behind the group Dirty Projectors.
Known him for a long time.
He's also Jake's brother.
Just dropped a new album, but we've known each other too long
for me to ask you questions about your new album.
So we're just gonna talk about more like Time Crisis type stuff.
Although it is out.
Check it out.
You can stream it on Apple Music and you can buy it on vinyl at your local record store.
Oh, yeah, I do.
I do want to say, wow, the vinyl looks sick.
Yeah.
Oh, cool.
'Cause you actually printed it on, it's like a gray cloudy vinyl.
It's that stuff, duvetyne, that like weird black light absorbing fabric.
People use it in like theater productions.
Yeah, yeah.
And then the things are like black plexiglass reflecting a ceiling.
It looks really...
It's not printed on duvetyne.
No, no, no.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I haven't seen it.
Domino hasn't sent me one.
I literally have...
You only seen pictures?
I've only seen pictures.
Damn.
I don't have a copy of the album.
You gotta pick one up, man.
Swing by Amoeba.
I know, I should.
Gimme, gimme.
Mom and dad asked for one too, Jake.
Hook 'em up.
I know, I got some.
It's so funny when you're around siblings,
'cause your siblings are the only people you can talk about your parents as mom and dad.
In fact, it's really hilarious and a very weird character trait
when people say that to people who aren't their siblings.
So for instance, you guys together, you would say,
"Oh, by the way, mom said, dad said."
Or M, M and D.
Wait, you call your parents M and D?
Yeah.
Frequently.
In text or in language?
Like verbal language.
Mom and dad, this seems long.
M and D is a little bit shorter.
Wait, so you'll just be like...
So M and D said they were gonna come visit in mid-April.
Yep.
Yeah.
It's like not even a joke at this point.
M said she wanted to definitely go check out the museum while she was here,
while D said it'd be cool maybe to go down to Marina del Rey and do some fishing.
That's like an actual conversation?
M and D, it sounds like R and D.
Huh.
So two weeks ago we did the show and it was Oscars day.
So when you do a show every two weeks, it's always kind of hard to know,
like should you cover stuff that happened in the past two weeks?
Like should we talk about the Oscars right now?
Right, because we did the Grammys recap, which was great because you were there,
and so there were a lot of anecdotes to relay.
Right.
We probably have a lot of new insightful things to say about the Grammys.
Oh, he's still talking about the Grammys.
That's funny, why don't we just keep talking about the Grammys after all the award shows?
Oscars were cool.
Oh yeah, well one thing I can say is I've met that guy, the producer before.
Which producer?
The producer who said, "Stop, Moonlight, you won."
Oh, this is not a joke.
This is not a joke.
His wife, who he referred to-
Yeah, why didn't you call her?
As his blue-eyed wife.
That was so strange.
For anybody who didn't see or doesn't remember that part,
when the La La Land people thought they'd won and they were giving their speeches,
which is the most brutal part of all of it,
is just being like, "Believe in your dreams," and then you find out it didn't happen.
One of the producers referred to his blue-eyed wife.
He said, "I've got a great baby," and you know, "Julia, you have a blue-eyed-"
My beautiful blue-eyed wife.
Well anyway, his blue-eyed wife went to Columbia.
She actually directed Rostam and I in a production of Romeo and Juliet.
Whoa.
So, we got a connection to this whole fiasco.
Wait, you guys both acted in a production?
We were like the bottom of the barrel, like the dudes had a couple lines.
We were the night watchmen.
You both were?
Yeah.
Together?
Before Vampire.
Yeah, this was like freshman year, night watchman number one and two.
Maybe sophomore year.
But anyway, the director was Julia Hart, who was the blue-eyed wife of the speech.
And then once I'd met him, I met that guy via her.
He was casting a movie that was like about- that involved like an indie band in Chicago.
Like a struggling indie band in Chicago.
And like to his credit, he was trying to cast real musicians to play the roles.
Although this is one thing that I will say.
I do believe in myself and I believe I could learn a lot of things.
But one thing that I just am not good at is acting.
I feel the same.
You know, we both come from music.
There's so many things that, you know, a musician's ear could translate into.
Or like the way you put together an album is not dissimilar from a lot of other art forms.
But acting, acting and singing.
I've always had this theory, actually.
Rappers are good actors.
Singers are terrible actors.
And people are going to think, am I trying to make like a racial point?
No.
You're not?
Obviously not.
Because this crosses racial lines.
Eminem, white rapper.
Great actor.
Crushed it.
8 mile.
Mariah Carey, biracial singer.
This is not my opinion, but generally she was regarded as a poor actress.
Although she wasn't, she was good and precious.
But what's your theory?
Why?
Here's why I would guess.
I've thought about it before.
I think if you're good at rapping, you're good at expressing yourself that way.
You'll probably be good at conveying reality via the dramatic arts.
Whereas if you sing and you get the things that are valued in a sink and being a good
singer to me are like antithetical to being a good actor.
Now I'm thinking of great singers that were great actors.
Like who?
Chris Christopherson.
Debatable.
He was the lead in Heaven's Gate.
Incredible film.
Bombed, but incredible film.
And then Frank Sinatra.
Okay.
Manchurian candidate.
Frank Sinatra is like a weird one because he's like.
He's kind of like a rapper, right?
His vibe.
In a way.
I'm just trying to think like.
This is again, not my opinion.
Because as you know, I'm a huge Beyonce fan.
She was robbed at the Grammys.
However, for someone who's considered one of the most talented people on planet Earth
right now, even many of her biggest supporters don't consider her to be a great actress.
Yeah.
She's a good actress.
She's not great.
Whereas like Ice Cube is a great actor.
Yeah, he does it.
Eminem was a great actor in the one movie he ever was in.
And there was one role that he was born to play.
Rabbit.
Himself.
Himself, the character.
I don't know.
Maybe this is a half-baked theory.
I've just always thought that the rap community has produced.
Some very, very high caliber actors.
Yeah, and the singing community has been and singers always want to try acting.
It's classic and they almost always fail.
Yeah, and it goes to Madonna.
That's a classic one.
Oh, yeah.
She's always.
And you know, I think she gets a better body of evidence, dude.
People are always really hard on Madonna as an actress.
Maybe she's not terrible.
She's just sort of maybe people.
I don't know.
People like to tear it out.
Yeah.
The 1987 Bruce Willis album.
Yeah, that's a fascinating period because he is coming off of moonlighting.
It's right before his cast and die hard.
Cuts this like pop album.
Very bizarre.
It was kind of well, it was kind of bluesy.
It was kind of like, Jake, I've heard you talk about this album.
We pull it up, but I haven't ever heard it.
Just like the first track of the 87 Bruce Willis album.
Guys, I think we just figured out that this show.
We can talk about Oscars and the Grammys by talking about.
There you go.
That rare breed of person who can elegantly slide between.
I was about to say the stage, but they're both there.
The stage is stage in the stage.
The recording studio in the movie set can elegantly slide between the silver screen.
And the stream.
I'm a holes in tree.
I'm not a music stream that period of Bruce Willis doing die hard and then making this
record like within the same year.
Also, how funny is it?
Bruce Springsteen, Bruce Willis.
You guys from South Jersey.
Wait, Bruce, I didn't know that about Bruce Willis.
Yeah, he's from South Jersey.
Wow.
I wonder if he's a Springsteen head.
Seems like he would be, but.
Wait, this is Willis?
Yeah, this is Bruce Willis is and I think it did OK.
That Phil was so Max Weinberg.
Yeah, yeah, super important.
The USA, whose production is super like darkness on the other town.
Well, I think it more like a tunnel of love.
So kind of a.
I'm a Huey Lewis, but yeah.
See, he's like trying to be somebody else or trying to be like Kenny Rogers or something.
Don't give a don't give a heck.
It's kind of like Eagles.
It is drummer's a shredder, very technical drummer.
I feel like he makes the vocals too low.
It's a real thin vocal.
Yeah.
Compellingly, though.
It go down in the DM time crisis with Ezra Koenig on beats one.
I wonder what the backstory in that record is.
Maybe he was like a music, you know, this is like a guy that liked
to meet to do music, but was like not particularly talented.
I don't know.
I mean, it's just like I'm kind of famous, but it was before he was really famous.
That's what's weird to me.
It was before he was a big action star.
I mean, on a TV show, it's really weird.
You know what?
I think we forget most artists are multifaceted or at least they have multiple interests.
You know, when it works, we really remember.
Yeah.
And we're like, wow, Kanye made his sneakers and albums and
fashion and all these things.
And when it doesn't work, it becomes like a funny footnote.
Right.
Or, you know, I think it worked okay.
So you're just kind of like, you know, Bruce Springsteen made an album.
Willis.
Oh, right.
I mean, that's just tough.
Like mid eighties, Jersey guy named Bruce.
That's an uphill battle coming out.
Well, actually, this segues very nicely into something I wanted to talk about with you guys
today.
Okay.
There's a new song by Kygo and Selena Gomez called It Ain't Me.
I don't think it's been hanging on the top five, so we're not going to get to talk about
it later.
So I'm making an executive decision to talk about it now.
Okay.
First question.
Do either of you know who Kygo is?
No.
Dave?
Vaguely.
All right.
What's your impression of Kygo?
Maybe he dates someone from a reality show.
What?
Oh, you're thinking of Tyga.
Oh, right.
Yeah, Tyga is like a secondary character on Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
Okay.
He's a rapper.
Okay.
Kygo.
Any more guesses?
KYGO.
He comes from the land of Scandinavia.
I'm not sure which country.
So he's a singer.
No.
Okay.
He is a musician.
Bass player?
Yes.
Percussionist.
He's the hottest five string fretless bass player.
The kids are going bananas for him.
Not since Jaco has there been a basis with this kind of heat on them.
No.
Kygo is a DJ.
Duh.
Of course.
He's associated with the genre Tropical House.
I love that genre.
Which is, you know, it's a little slower.
It's about 100 BPM.
Usually.
Do you guys know who Selena Gomez is?
Vaguely.
Oh, she's an actress, right?
Yeah, right.
She's an actress singer.
Was she in Spring Breakers?
Yeah, she was in Spring Breakers.
She was the girl in the movie.
She was the girl on the bus.
Yeah.
She was like, I'm out of here.
Right.
She made the good call.
I don't know her music.
I think she started out on Nickelodeon or Disney Channel.
Then she has become a successful singer.
Anyway, they did a song together and it's called It Ain't Me.
What I like about the song, it's kind of Tropical House meets.
Remember like a few years ago when there's all that like, kind of like EDM folk country stuff.
Oh yeah.
Like what?
Avicii and Alla Black.
Yeah.
What was that song called?
Timber.
Oh no, Timber was Kesha.
Yeah.
There were a couple of them.
There was a moment.
It was kind of like this post Mumford and Sons meets dance music thing.
And so this song, it's interesting.
I like it.
It has.
So let me just play it for you guys.
Okay.
And the lyrics.
Is this similarly like Capitalism at Work in terms of cross branding these two?
Oh, you mean like did the A&R guy be like Kygo and Selena Gomez match made in heaven.
We're going to hit all the target demos.
Right.
I mean, maybe.
It's win-win.
It's pairing a hot DJ with like a hot pop star.
It's a no brainer.
I had a dream we were sipping whiskey need highest floor the bowery and I was high enough
somewhere along the lines we stopped seeing eye to eye you were staying out all night and I had
enough no I don't want to know where you've been or where you're going but I know I won't be home
and you'll be on your own who's gonna walk you through the dark side of the morning
who's gonna rock you in the sun room where you sleep who's waking up to drop you home
when you're drunk and all alone who's gonna walk you through the dark side of the morning
Like that little gospel chord.
Yeah, I saw that.
I heard this song on the way here.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah.
And then the drop that just goes on forever.
Like in another song, it'd be like and we're back at the verse in two, four.
Yeah.
Nope.
Sticking with the drop for a second.
All right, and we're gonna bring back in Selena with verse two right about.
Okay, now we're gonna keep going with the drop.
America loves drops now.
Letting it breathe.
Letting it breathe.
The opening lines of the song, I don't know if you caught them.
Yeah.
I had a dream we were sipping whiskey neat.
Right.
Which is not something you're in a country song, sure.
But like I had a dream we were sipping whiskey neat highest floor the Bowery nowhere's high
enough.
So I love that.
I love that detail.
And also for anybody doesn't know the Bowery is like a fancy hotel in downtown Manhattan.
We should try to get Selena Gomez on the show.
I'd love to know how she feels about the lyrics because I believe she did not write any of them.
I do think they're good lyrics, actually, though, because it really it sets it up,
paints a picture.
Yeah, I don't know if I've ever heard the phrase whiskey neat in a song.
We were sipping whiskey neat.
Actually, that's or maybe that's like some Sinatra.
We were sipping whiskey neat highest floor the Bowery.
You know, it's similar when we listen to Chainsmokers Coldplay song and the lyrics just
jumped out is not typical pop lyrics.
Right.
For better or for worse.
But basically, she's getting the end of a relationship with some guy who sounds like
he's drunk.
He's selfish.
He just parties all the time.
And she says, and I like the pre-chorus, who's going to take you home when you're drunk and
all alone?
Who's going to do all this stuff that I do?
Who's going to do it?
Well, not her problem.
It ain't me.
And then when you listen to the drop, you very clear.
It's a funny job because you very clearly just hear the words whiskey, neat and Bowery.
So I wonder people hear this and just like whiskey, neat and Bowery.
It's so random.
You guys catch that summer nights in the where Libertine, the Libertines was that the Libertines
are like the English strokes.
Do you remember that?
No, I never heard of them.
They've heard of them.
Yeah.
The singer was named Pete Doherty.
There's some debate in the room.
If it's Doherty or Doherty, it's hard to tell what the English English last name sounds
at very surprising pronunciations.
They never were huge in America, but in England, they truly were like a big phenomenon.
Same time as the strokes early twos.
Yeah, right after just after.
So they were compared to them a lot.
But so, so the second verse is I had a dream.
We were back at 17 summer nights.
The Libertines never growing old.
And, you know, I like it.
It's like about thinking back to your youth, how you felt differently.
Then I wonder if Selena Gomez is Libertines fan, if she related to the line or if she
was just like, all right, who's that?
I mean, she might know them.
It's certainly not impossible, but like that's like 15 years ago, dude.
How old is she?
Like 18?
No, she's older than that.
22.
My call is that she didn't know who the Libertines were.
Well, one thing's for sure.
She wasn't 17 when they came out, right?
Back in the summer of 69.
Yeah, she's 24.
So she, you know, we all listen to music from before we were there.
But again, the reference of the Libertines as like, man, when we were 17, that was our.
I imagine she probably doesn't feel that way.
This is a stark example of a singer that's clearly not the writer of the lyrics just
because of the references being made.
I mean, I'm not going to go as far as to say that.
It's not even a problem.
Selena Gomez is incapable of writing a song where she embodies the viewpoint of a 39 year
old.
I just don't think she's credited as the lyric writer.
We know it.
But usually it's interesting.
I just have never thought about that before, because usually you're like, you're pairing
a singer with songs that seem appropriate, whether sort of thematically for them to sing.
And this is like a funny disconnect.
Here's the way it makes sense.
Maybe like she's, you know, she's dating like Colin Farrell.
That's too funny.
So let's say like Selena Gomez is dating Colin Farrell.
And at first she's like, oh, he's like this suave older actor.
And then she's and it's like really cool.
She's staying at a fancy hotel with him.
And then little by little, she's like, no, dude, you have a substance abuse problem.
And if I don't break up with you, this is really unfair to all parties involved, by
the way.
But she's like, I got to get away from you, man.
I thought you were a fun, youthful actor.
Turns out you're just a drunk man.
And so she's like, I remember I was drinking whiskey neat with this dude.
He was telling me about how fancy the whiskey is.
And I just and that's when it clicked.
And I was like, I don't care.
I don't care, man.
I want to date Kygo.
And then maybe in the second verse.
Actually, it doesn't really hold up.
It doesn't hold up the perspective anyway, but I don't care about your 90s British alt
rock either, dude.
Yeah, he was always talking about the liberties.
Oh, would you guys like the song?
I like it.
I like the folky melodies.
I like the phrase, dark side of the morning is good.
Oh, yeah.
Dark side of the morning.
Which is a subtle Floyd reference.
I mean, I couldn't help it.
It's so subtle.
It has to be.
It has to be.
Well, I mean, I was like, oh, I thought she was going to say moon, like dark side of the
moon.
Oh, morning.
Wait, I just want to point out.
I also really like that.
That is I can.
Dave, would you consider that a gospel move?
The major three?
Or like stepping the chords up?
That's gospel, right?
I've heard you play that on the piano before.
Yeah.
And be like the major three.
That's that kind of gospel thing.
I'm like a word.
I guess it is.
Oh, because your vibe is like, I don't know.
I don't know.
It's also very killers.
That pass, like a passing chord or like a.
To me, it sounds like a gospel passing court, but I guess maybe in this context, because
Brandon Flowers and the Killers uses it a lot.
Oh, what's that killer song that uses that about being a.
To take you home when you're broke.
Very killers movement.
Right.
Right.
This song is kind of like, are we human?
So anyway, it ain't me.
An endlessly fascinating song from Kygo and Selena Gomez.
I like it.
The guitar in the beginning reminds me of the guitar from.
Sorry, actually.
Yeah, like the Bieber ballad.
Love yourself.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I had the same thought.
Same kind of voice.
The two notes.
Maybe the same person.
Well, I also just like the sentiment.
It's a classic sentiment.
Bob Dylan.
It ain't me, babe.
NWA.
I ain't the one.
You know what, Kygo?
You could probably find a girl who loves the Libertines and fancy whiskey and stand at the
Bowery, but it ain't me.
I want to stay at the standard.
I'm not knocking it.
I want to drink gin.
No, it's call and I want to listen to Bach party.
It ain't me.
You're listening to Time Crisis on Beat 1.
I'm not the only Jack dude who loved that song.
Yeah?
Another Jack dude.
Great lead in.
Sorry, what is this phrase?
Jack dude?
Jack just means like muscular.
It was Jack.
Oh, you're referring to yourself?
Right, because the people at home probably don't know that I'm Jack now.
Wearing your blind melon tea, dude.
I'm wearing a blind melon tea.
Did you end up wearing that to the Grammys?
No, I kept it real mellow.
More mellow than a blind melon tea?
I just wore like kind of a boring, dark, you know, like a dress shirt and jacket ensemble.
So that's that.
Another Jack muscular kind of macho guy who loved that song was Vin Diesel.
You hear about this?
No.
No.
I was kind of like researching the song, you know, just like normal.
Like music nerd stuff like who wrote it, how's it doing?
What label did it come out on?
And then so when I searched Kygo It Ain't Me, one of the first like news suggestions in Google
was like, "Hear Vin Diesel's take on Kygo It Ain't Me."
And I was like, "Click."
The bait has been laid and the fish has been cooked.
"Hear Vin Diesel's take."
That is so random.
I don't have all the info, but there was like a picture of Vin Diesel and Kygo together
in the studio.
Vin Diesel obviously is like, he's a man about town.
You know, it's not surprising.
Vin Diesel knows everybody.
He's the fricking man.
So I see this picture of them in the studio and I'm like, "Wow, that's wild.
Maybe Vin teamed up with Kygo to do an alternate version."
And then I listened to it and it sounds more like, I guess Vin Diesel knows Kygo, but he
posted this version and he like wrote on the internet, "Hey guys."
He has like a very deep voice.
"Hey guys, you know, I'm really nervous about, you know, I don't sing, but this song really
moved me and I want to do something."
So anyway.
Is he from South Jersey too?
I think he's from New York.
So Vin Diesel posts this song and I was kind of expecting, okay, maybe Kygo gave him the
instrumental.
Maybe he's like doing his own take, maybe did an alternate version, but then this is
what it sounds like.
This is so weird.
I know.
Whistle.
Okay, cool.
That's delicate.
♪ I had a dream we were sipping whiskey neat ♪
♪ Highest floor of the Bowery ♪
♪ And I was high enough ♪
All right, so right off the bat, I just got to point out, first of all, all respect to
Mr. Diesel, because as Dave and I know, putting yourself out there as a singer, it's a messed
up life.
Everybody's criticizing you.
Some people like it, some people hate it.
We're out there bearing our souls on cassette, vinyl, CD, and the stage.
So anybody who steps into the arena to put out a recording of them singing, I respect.
But I was very surprised that he couldn't even get the instrumental.
He's just doubling Selena Gomez.
That just surprised me.
He's using a lot of auto-tune, which is par for the course these days.
And occasionally I feel like the auto-tune is taking it to not the note in the melody,
but it's kind of interesting.
Let's listen to some more.
♪ Somewhere along the lines ♪
♪ We stopped seeing eye to eye ♪
♪ You were staying out all night ♪
♪ And I had enough ♪
♪ Oh, I don't wanna know ♪
♪ Where you've been or where you go ♪
He relates to the lyrics, dude.
He's the right age.
He's actually too old.
He's the 30--
He's the 44-year-old guy staying at the Bowery with the $30 whiskey.
Huge Libertines head, too.
♪ And I'm waking up ♪
Oh, damn, he went down so high.
♪ And all the lovers ♪
♪ And I walk you through the door ♪
♪ And I'm waking up in the morning ♪
♪ Today ♪
♪ Give me your name ♪
All right, now he's having some fun.
♪ And I moved on ♪
♪ Today ♪
Oh, he's ad-libbing.
♪ Give me your name ♪
Pretty tight.
♪ And I'm waking up ♪
I respect that.
Yeah, he sounds good.
♪ And I'm waking up ♪
He's got a low voice.
Oh, he's got a very deep voice.
♪ And I'm walking ♪
I think his upper register is like--
He's got something cool about it.
Yeah, he should have gone high for the chorus.
♪ I had a dream ♪
♪ We went back to 17 ♪
♪ Summer nights, the Libertines ♪
♪ Never growing up ♪
Love that.
♪ I'll take me ♪
♪ The Polaroids and the memories ♪
What did he say?
Oh, the Polaroids and the memories.
I heard that as just "roids" and "memories."
I'll take the roids.
♪ Who's gonna rock you ♪
♪ In the summer nights ♪
He's having fun with the autotune now.
♪ Who's waking up ♪
♪ To drive you home ♪
♪ When you're talking on the line ♪
♪ Who's gonna walk you ♪
♪ Through the dark ♪
So weird.
♪ The warm moons ♪
♪ The lips we show ♪
Oh, you get the idea.
Wow.
So Vin Diesel, we found out he's just a huge Kygo fan.
So maybe this was like,
he's not trying to do anything professional.
He was just like, "I love this song,
"and here's me singing over it."
Just kind of like a sweet gesture to a DJ he respects.
So I was kind of like, I heard that,
and I was like, "All right, me and Vin,
"just two jack dudes who both like--"
You're on the same page.
We're on the same page.
I was with him.
And then I'm basically describing an internet rabbit hole.
Yeah.
Or K-hole, I don't know what people call it.
'Cause basically I was like,
"I wanna learn about the song."
And then I see this clickbait.
"Hear Vin Diesel sing the new Kygo Selene Gomez song."
Then I click on that.
Now I'm thinking about Vin Diesel.
So what's my next move?
What's his musical life?
I'm searching Vin Diesel, just seeing what he's up to.
It turns out when he was a teenager,
he wasn't listening to the Libertines.
He was growing up in the New York City area.
He was listening to early hip hop.
And I guess other kind of downtown music.
He was in the scene.
So when he was a teenager, it turns out--
What year was Vin Diesel born?
We gotta find that out.
I think probably early '70s.
I'm gonna say 1972.
Holy cow!
'67.
So he's 50.
He's 49.
He's gonna turn 50 this year.
So Vin Diesel was born in 1967 in Alameda County, California.
Oakland.
Diesel has stated that he's of ambiguous ethnicity.
His mother's background includes English, German, and Scottish.
Classic American mix.
But he's never met his biological father and has stated that,
"All I know from my mother is that I have connections to many different cultures."
Diesel has self-identified as definitely a person of color.
So that's interesting.
He doesn't really know much about his father's side.
But then they moved to New York and he was raised by his mom and his stepfather.
His African-American stepfather, Irving H. Vincent,
an acting instructor and theater manager.
So that's cool.
So he's kind of like growing up downtown New York.
Right, so he's 20 in '87.
So he's 20 in '87.
Some point when he's a teenager running around, you know, '80s New York,
got punk rock, hip hop, all these things,
he links up with a guy called Arthur Russell.
What?
You guys know Arthur Russell, right?
Of course.
Whoa.
Love Arthur Russell.
How would you guys describe Arthur Russell to the listeners who are not familiar?
He's like a Jack of all trades, kind of.
Because he was doing like dance music.
And he was also making like kind of sloppy lo-fi recordings of his songs.
Kind of like...
He's a great cello player.
Before indie was...
Well, also the cello too.
He's a cellist.
Yeah, so he was involved in like dance music, like '80s New York dance music.
But also, I guess what you could call indie post-punk something.
Yeah.
He kind of...
I think at the time he was a little bit slept on and he died tragically young.
So Arthur Russell is a super cool guy.
And maybe in the past 15 years, he's become even more influential
because of like compilations and reissues and stuff.
Like any indie musician is definitely like a fan or certainly familiar.
So we found evidence that Vin Diesel linked up with Arthur Russell as a teenager.
We got a shout out, Gary@garylucas.com, who's the dude who posted this on SoundCloud.
Whoa.
And this is how he described it.
"These are fragments of an aborted recording session at Battery Sound, New York City, 1986,
which brought together fledgling rapper Mark Sinclair, today better known as the actor Vin
Diesel, and avant composer/dance music maven Arthur Russell in a project midwifed by Gary
Lucas," oh, there you go, "who discovered Mark Sinclair rapping and break dancing on
the streets of the West Village.
This project was greenlighted by Jeff Travis of Rough Trade Records and Barry Feldman,
of Upside/Logarithm Records."
I'd be remiss not to point out that Jeff Travis, who I guess footed the bill for this,
kind of a well-known guy who ran Rough Trade Records in England, signed the Smiths,
also put out The Libertines about 20 years later.
So anyway, this guy Jeff Travis has had an eye for talent for 30 years, from Johnny Marr
and Morrissey to Vin Diesel to The Libertines and then The Strokes.
So let's listen to some of this.
This is like a weird tape.
Ha ha, ha ha, party people trying to get stupid.
Ha ha, sounds like him.
Ha ha, yeah, you're actually here, Sinclair.
So I'll tell you a little story here, it goes like, it goes like this.
You knew this girl from junior high, she was bordering and she was fly.
That's when I was kinda shy, chilling and moving a fabulous vibe.
Now I used to buy as you all know, my name Papa Papa was a city boy.
Well one night we were popping at DT and this girl told Ty that she liked me.
Hit it on the loop and I played it cool.
It was the same old old time.
Definitely the beat has some of that Arthur Russell, like, echoey flavor.
Let's skip around.
Okay.
Oh, he's getting directions.
Okay, we get the idea.
So anyway, to be fair to Vin Diesel, it's not just an actor who suddenly is getting
interested in music when he hears a good Kygo song.
This guy, music's been a part of his life since he was a teenager.
So weird, the Arthur Russell connection, that is so bizarre.
He connected with everybody.
Yeah, that's so cool.
So you're Vin Diesel, breakdancing in the West Village.
Fast and Furious 9.
But so, you know, after listening to the Kygo song and the Arthur Russell song, I was very
pro Vin Diesel.
Yeah.
But then as I'm continuing to research.
He's a Trump guy.
No, he's not a Trump guy.
But well, actually, I don't know.
I doubt it.
That'd be weird.
It kind of seems like as two of the biggest stars in the Fast and Furious franchise, it
seems like some people, you have to either like Vin Diesel or like The Rock.
And it turns out that they've had some skirmishes on the set.
Okay.
And The Rock's known to be a very level-headed guy, but he came out and made a statement
basically saying some people, I think he used the B word, are acting like bees on the set.
And a lot of people were like, oh, he's talking about Vin Diesel.
They don't like each other.
He thinks Vin Diesel's like a diva, annoying.
And The Rock is more like salt of the earth, knows how to treat people right.
But I guess they're kind of positioned against each other.
You like one or the other.
And then I was checking on some of the latest press that Vin Diesel did.
He was doing an interview in Brazil.
And I started to be like, man, Vin Diesel needs to get it together because this is not
cool.
So he was doing an interview in Brazil with a Brazilian female journalist.
Okay.
What year?
This year.
Very recently.
God, you're so beautiful.
My God, she's so beautiful.
Am I right or wrong?
Look at her.
How am I supposed to do this interview?
It's pretty drunk.
Look at this woman.
Yeah, it's pretty drunk.
She's so beautiful.
Cognou, man.
Talk to me, baby.
Tell me your story.
Tell me yours.
Let's get out of here.
Let's go.
Let's go have lunch.
My God, I love her.
Look how beautiful she is.
Thank you.
God, wow.
Also, I know this sounds like it's edited.
He was pushing the point so far.
I know it sounds like it's edited, but it's like when somebody's trying to do their job
interviewing you, I guess you could pay them a compliment about an article of clothing,
perhaps even to say that they're beautiful once is like unprofessional.
Yeah.
Did you?
I'm the Grouch.
I'm the Grouch.
I'm the Grouch.
I love her.
Man, she's so f****** sexy.
I can't do this interview.
Look at her.
Does anyone say this?
Guys, what's wrong?
Am I the only one that's saying it?
Look at her.
So Vin Diesel, man, apologize to that journalist.
Get back to rapping and get your act together, man.
People have joked about The Rock running for president.
What if there's Vin Diesel's running for the Republicans, obviously, and The Rock is for
the Democrats?
That would be insane.
The Rock is more jacked too.
Yeah.
Okay, so The Rock wrote a cryptic Instagram post because I hope people don't think I'm
just pulling out this beef out of thin air just because they're too bald headed jack
dudes in their 40s.
So The Rock, who's always been known as like this super chill dude, posted an Instagram
where he wrote, "This is my final week of shooting Fast and Furious 8.
There's no other franchise that gets my blood boiling more than this one."
I love that.
Then he went on to praise the crew and the female stars in the ensemble cast.
So right there, you know there's about to be a turn.
And then he turns around and says, "My male co-stars, however, are a different story.
Some conduct themselves as stand-up men and true professionals, while others don't.
The ones that don't are too chickens to do anything about it anyway."
Wow, he's going in.
Candy asses.
Dude.
When you watch this movie next April and it seems like I'm not acting in some of these
scenes and my blood is legit boiling, you're right.
Bottom line is it'll play great for the movie and fits this Hobbes character that's embedded
in my DNA extremely well.
The producer in me is happy about this part.
"Final week on Fast 8 and I'll finish strong," he wrote, adding the hashtag #ZeroTolerance
for candy asses.
I mean, shots fired.
That's a long hashtag.
Candy ass.
Candy ass is a weird one.
I think it's like you're soft.
You don't have strength in your buttocks.
I also like the part where he says chicken s--t.
Chicken s--t is such a funny phrase too.
He's too chicken s--t to do anything about it anyway.
I'm pretty into chicken s--t as a phrase.
I bet that Vin Diesel was kind of acting weird, maybe disrespecting the crew.
Maybe disrespecting--
Just being a punk, probably, dude.
Maybe disrespecting some of the female crew.
I'm picturing the craft services table.
Yeah, he's just getting some potato salad and just sees--
"Oh, you're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
How am I supposed to eat this potato salad?
Are you kidding me?
I'm supposed to eat this potato salad and go back and film Fast and Furious 8?
Look at her.
Are you kidding me?"
And then Rock hears that.
That is a candy ass move.
Yeah, Rock is like, "Do not disrespect the female crew!"
He's like, "I'm not disrespecting her, Rock.
Dwayne.
Dwayne, I'm not disrespecting her.
She's beautiful.
Look at her.
She might be an attractive woman, man, but you can't talk to her that way."
And then Vin Diesel probably--
Because Vin Diesel maybe just walked away and was like, "Whatever.
I could kick your ass."
And the Rock is like, "Oh, yeah?
Then why are you walking away?"
He's too much of a smooth operator businessman to just come out and be like, "You know what,
guys?
I just rapped on Fast and Furious 8, and I gotta say, it was an awful experience, and
I don't know if I can do it anymore.
Particularly because of the actions of some of my male co-stars who don't know how to
treat people, who are rude, arrogant, whatever.
Honestly, it was--
Instead, he flips it into a positive.
He's like, "Some of these punks don't know how to act.
And when you go see FF8 in theaters, and you see my incredible performance full of passion
and rage, it's real."
And then he goes, "The producer in me loves it."
"The producer in me."
Complex plans and high ideals
But he treats people poorly
Is his ceaseless ambitiousness proxy for reward?
He's ignoring
How good we could have it if we were together
I feel love should be enough to get it easily done
Maybe love is competition that makes us raise the bar and better ourselves
We could be so good if we work together
Work together
Work together
Work together
Work together
Work together
Work together
Crippling fear, a selling doubt
So she blankers her vision
Is the life she's living not the one she dreamt of and envisioned?
How good we could have it if we were together
I feel love should be enough to get it easily done
Maybe love is competition that makes us raise the bar and better ourselves
I'm just here for the reciprocity to drop now we won't see
Work together
Work together
Work together
Work together
Work together
Work together
Work together
Work together
Work together
Work together
Work together
We haven't talked about politics in the past few weeks. I'm glad that we reminded people a little
bit that we're living in a fascist state. It's getting worse. It's horrible. And that if we don't
do more, we might be looking at a diesel presidency. It could happen. I wonder if we'll get a truly I'm
not kidding at all. If we truly will get a celebrity versus celebrity. I think so. Presidential race,
because you know how like there's been this stuff with like Trump and Schwarzenegger, like Trump is
still tweeting about the ratings. Yeah, yeah. I mean, to be fair, Schwarzenegger is no hero. He's
a Republican, but I get a picture that now based on what we know now, how horrible things are.
Imagine if Trump had come out and instead of the Democrats being like, well, we're gonna run a
well-known kind of moderate Democrat who kind of has a lot of experience, who's been in the White
House, you know, like reasonable things. Yeah. We can critique Hillary all we want, but like they
tried to counter the madness of Trump, the celebrity with like a true civil servant. And maybe
now they'll be like next time there's like a Trump, they'd be like, can we get Schwarzenegger?
Can we get Alec Baldwin? Oh my, yo, that's crazy. Could you imagine? Honestly, I can imagine. That
would be like, we are living in a simulation. If Alec Baldwin threw his hat in the ring.
And he's like really serious during the debate and then just out of nowhere, he just busts out
the impression. And then Trump's like, okay, very funny. It doesn't even sound like me. And he's
like, okay, very funny. Doesn't like that could happen on the national stage. I know you are,
but what am I? Exactly. Like what are some other ones besides Diesel and The Rock? It could be
the Republicans are like, we're running Garth Brooks. We're going to clean up. We're going to
mop the floor with you losers. And then Garth comes out and it's just like, oh, don't worry.
I'm not as crazy as a, as Trump, but then like Loki he's doing like, and then the Democrats are
like, who do we run against Garth Brooks? I bet the first name that comes up Springsteen. Oprah
or Oprah. Oh yeah. That's come up. No, but I'm saying like, I want to like keeping it in like
the genre. This is a funny fantasy. I mean, Bruce would never do it, but draft Bruce, the great
draft Bruce campaign of 2023. So I feel like a lot of the democratic celebrities are they're like,
they're rational and they're not crazy. So they're like, yeah, I'm not going to run.
Well, they're rational because they never would have thought they could have won. Now they might
think they could win. We're going to get more kind of like narcissistic Democrat celebrities
throwing their hat in the ring. Oh, yo kid rock versus the rock. Wow. Yeah. Republicans,
Republicans, 2024. Oh, kid. Rock's a huge Republican. Marley man. What's his problem?
Yo. All right. How about this kid rock? There's Eminem governor of Michigan. Oh,
it may be like depressing. I'm just picturing like Michigan becomes like this real, like
battleground for some reason. Well, it is, it already is. Oh yeah. No, I mean, it already is
like what's happening in Flint. So, so Michigan become, there's like, there's like a civil war
in Michigan. The whole nation's eyes are on who's going to become the governor of Michigan.
Kid rocks running. He's leading in the polls. The Democrats are running like
Todd Williamson, like a local Congressman or something. And he's just like getting crushed.
And then just one day out of nowhere, a new song comes on soundcloud and it's Eminem
announcing his candidacy for governor of Michigan in a speed rap. The Democrat bows out and then
it's just kid rock versus Eminem. It's really going to happen. It's hard to imagine that. Yeah.
The celebrity won't that strain won't go further. Oh yeah. Trump broke the seal on that. I mean,
Reagan broke the seal. Right. Right. But he had to take it so slow. You'd have like decades.
I wonder if we'll ever get a truly jacked president. Dude, Obama. Obama was in great
shape. I want a president. Obama was more jacked than you dude. Yeah, debatable.
Now that's, that's debatable. I want a president with a good team. Is Obama more jacked than me?
Not really. No. Okay. Obama's in great shape. Obama's probably the, in the best shape of any
president ever. Dude, don't sleep on W. Dude worked out for an hour a day. Really? I guess.
W was older, but dude was like, was he had some guns under there? Yeah. He was toned bro. Really?
Yeah. When I picture like, like president era W with his shirt off. Dude, I don't think he's
pretty. He's like going down his clearing brush and cross. He's like working on his core, dude.
Do you think he had like visible abs? Yeah, I do. I really do. Really?
W side. There's never been a president with the, with like, say like the bulk of,
of a rock of like the rock. Well, most of the time they're old, but yeah.
Yeah. Maybe they're just too old. I mean, yeah. Schwarzenegger was governor.
Right. Yeah. Schwarzenegger. That's funny that he was governor. Dude. And Jesse Ventura was governor.
Oh, well, Jesse Ventura is, I don't even know. Dude, groundwork's been laid. Ventura, Schwarzenegger.
Wrestler slash action. Maybe it will be the rock.
It's just been eight for the eight days since our restart went.
Thought we'd invest and say, but it's all rigged a gamble.
Oh, no way. Fighting. We can't.
Cause you and me are the same. Now I'm shining. And you're shining.
And you're shining.
But our diamonds blooded. Nickel, diamond, silver. No trophy, no cake. Winner take not fair.
I want it all. And I want it more.
Maybe I want it all. And when you no longer.
I built my life around our love to ground your dream.
I am so tired, but I never could give you enough.
Fighting. We can only lose. Winner take nothing.
Killing me and killing you. Cause you and me are the same.
Now I'm shining like tears in the rain. And you're shining like the fear of fate.
But our diamonds blooded. Nickel, diamond, silver. No trophy, no cake. Winner take nothing.
Winner take nothing. Winner take nothing.
Winner take. You're listening to Time Crisis on Beat One.
On the last episode, we had a fascinating conversation with some of the good folks at
Play Network. These are the people who help craft playlists for retail spaces. And Jake,
you had some pretty critical things to say about the music that you hear when you're
shopping at Home Depot. It's just basically like the top five of iTunes. It's Chainsmokers.
It's like Justin Timberlake song from the Troll soundtrack. Oh, that's a good song. It's
just like, you know, the same pop music you hear everywhere. And for some reason, in my mind,
Home Depot is like something special. You're like a 40 year old dude buying a toilet seat, right?
It's not Chainsmokers, dude. It's like it's like the tasteful side of contractor rock.
OK, well, I made my own playlist for which I think we should send on. OK, but wait, have we talked
about contractor rock as a genre yet? No, you're you're getting way ahead. So the reason we're
talking about this is because Jake made a Home Depot playlist that you can listen to via Apple
Music on the Time Crisis show page. Yeah. On Time Crisis, we post the playlist of what we played on
the show. But, you know, there's a super random show. Yeah. So a Time Crisis playlist is like
probably not good just to throw on like at a barbecue or something. If you're going to Lowe's.
Yeah, definitely not if you're going to Lowe's. So Jake made a Home Depot playlist. So OK, so you
this is what you wrote for the website. Jake's Dream, colon Home Depot playlist,
the tasteful side of contractor rock music that could theoretically be played in Home Depot
and dramatically improve the shopping experience in keeping with the Play Network concept of upbeat,
relatively positive vibes. OK, so Dave asked a great question. What is contractor rock?
OK, a.k.a. like job site rock. So like there's there's some dudes putting up like the Tyvek
wrapping on the side of like a new house that they've just framed out. Right. There's like
a boom box as blasting like Van Halen and ACDC, KLOS and GNR Metallica. Exactly. You're
picturing like a suburban white, like middle aged contractor. Yeah. And just straight up classic rock.
That's not what I want played at the Home Depot. What I want is something a little gentler,
something that's a little more tasteful. You don't want to hear something that's not hard rock
because like you don't want to hear like ACDC and Guns N' Roses. That's hard rock. That's too heavy.
I don't want to hear hard rock. I don't want to hear metal, but I don't want to hear soft rock
either. I want to hear just Christopher Cross. I just want to hear like rock,
sort of like fairly melodic, sort of mid-tempo, tasteful, classy rock. So let me see. So
you started with Badfinger. So you enter Home Depot.
The guy smiles at you. Mr. Longstrip, welcome back. This sounds kind of British.
Yeah, I think we're British. That doesn't get me. British bands are like 2x4s. British bands are,
they're just rock bands from Britain. Yeah, but isn't Home Depot like all American? That sounds
like that Tom Hanks movie. Which one? It's where he plays the manager. Oh, that thing you do? Yeah.
It's Badfinger. So you also picked Big Star. They're American. Relatively obscure. Yeah,
I wanted to sneak in a few gems that you wouldn't hear. I don't know why Big Star's not on classic
rock radio. They should be. Yeah, it's one of those weird things. It's like, in what aisle
would I find the grout? That would totally work. I feel this. Look, I'm trying to mount like a
metal shelving bracket to like a concrete pillar. Do I need like a masonry bit for that? You know
what? I'm going to refer you to my associate Marsha. She will have better information on that.
Okay, so I have like a Nikita impact driver. Do you think if I just put a masonry bit in that I
could... Oh Nikita, that's a hell of an impact. Oh, do I have to actually rent a hammer drill from you?
Okay, you got some Bob Dylan Man in me.
Isn't this more like, this is more like local hardware store. This is more like... Exactly.
Hey, this is like small town. Hey Fred, hey Jake, how did that wall mounted...
How did the wall mounting work out? It's like a dream Fred, this new, my new Nikita...
Oh, Nikita impact driver?
I'd like you to get through to the man in me.
Storm clouds are raging all around my door.
I think to myself I might not take it anymore.
Take a woman like your kind to find the man in me.
If never I met you,
If never I met you,
If not for a first hello,
We never have to say goodbye.
If never I met you,
My baby's a blue-blue man.
It's how my stars were born.
That's so much you'll never know.
I think to myself I might not take it anymore.
Take a woman like your kind to find the man in me.
If never I met you,
If not for a first hello,
We never have to say goodbye.
Take a woman like your kind to find the man in me.
If never I met you,
My baby's a blue-blue man.
It's how my stars were born.
That's so much you'll never know.
It's how my stars were born.
There were beverages
Laid out for the party.
There were candy and spices
And tricolor costumes.
Cork was drunk from succulent juices.
So I had to turn around.
And go to the home depot.
Sam Hunt, "Body Like a Back Road"
I'll give you one guess what genre.
Sam Hunt, "Body Like a Back Road"
Body like a back road.
No, it's actually a tropical house. Back road is like a Swedish...
No, I'm just kidding. Of course it's country.
Ooh, I already like this.
It's got those snaps.
Got a girl from the south side.
Got braids in her hair.
First time I seen her walk by.
And I about fell up out my chair.
Had to get her number.
It took me like six weeks.
Oh, he's got a rapper.
To get her go way back.
Like Cadillac seats.
Body like a back road.
Driving with my eyes closed.
I know every curve.
Like the back of my hand.
Gotcha.
I was like, what do you mean backward?
Like kind of dusty and gravelly?
Real coarse.
Just as fast as I can.
Oh, I should bring them blue jeans.
She don't need no help.
Oh, nice tambo.
Second verse.
But I can turn them inside out.
I don't need no help.
So thick and so sweet.
So sweet.
Ain't no curves like hers.
Down town streets.
Body like a back road.
Driving with my eyes closed.
I know every curve.
Like the back of my hand.
Going 15 in a 30.
I ain't in no hurry.
I'm gonna take it slow.
Just as fast as I can.
Okay, I'm starting to see a theme
in the 2017 songs.
Yeah?
They're both kind of like
small moments about
personal connection.
Like the Coldplay one is about like,
"Hey, I'm nothing fancy,
but it really means a lot to me
that I'm what you need."
Maybe it's like in this big crazy world
we're looking for little stories
of people who can just come together
in small ways.
Like the Coldplay song to me
very clearly takes place in like a
ranch house. Like a suburban ranch house.
It's just like, it doesn't take place
at a nightclub. It's just kind of like
reading the books of old and then
the girlfriend comes in and she's like,
"Hey man, don't be hard on yourself.
I love you."
Let's see what's on TV. And then this song
by the Lake of Backroad, which is classic country,
is kind of like, "You're in an F-150."
But it's also like, it's not epic.
It's just like,
it's about intimacy, I guess.
I know your body as well as I know
the streets of my neighborhood.
Nothing fancy.
In the second verse he says,
"There are no curves like those
on a downtown city street."
Oh, okay.
Alright, so maybe he's saying like,
"We grow 'em thick out here."
What about like the washboarding
on a dirt road?
I don't know, but I--
My interpretation of the song,
he's saying "body like a backroad."
But primarily what he's saying is--
Oh, he also might be saying with the city thing,
he's not saying that
your body is so much
better than everybody else's and you're so fine.
He's basically saying,
"I love your body. You know why?
Because I'm familiar with it.
Because we have a true personal connection."
It's not somebody you just met at the club.
This is somebody you probably see in the living room.
You know what I'm saying?
This is a great theme. 15 into 30.
Wait, what is the 15 into 30?
He's not in a hurry.
He's taking it slow.
Oh, wait, that's what he's saying?
Yeah. He's doing 15 into 30.
Yeah. Oh.
He's not in a hurry. He's taking it slow.
Okay. He knows where he's going.
Right. He's not like some--
Savor it a little bit. That's what he's saying.
That's kind of nice. All right. Shout out to Sam Hunt.
Number three song
this week in 1981 was John Lennon,
who we talked about would have been
recently deceased. Right. Died in December
of '80. So this would have been three months after
he died and he was still on the charts
with "Woman." Ooh.
Great song.
♪
This is also
in that key of like in between the '70s
and the '80s. Right.
This is fully soft rock.
♪
It's a nice sentiment.
I guess it's kind of what you were just riffing on.
Yeah, a little bit. I mean, John Lennon was always good at that
between "Jealous Guy" and "Woman."
Such a spectrum.
But he's good at the self-critical song.
Like the song that's like
a few days after everybody cooled down,
he's like-- I'm just a child.
You know what? Yeah, acted like a child.
But he's good. He's like--
he's expressing thankfulness.
♪ Poor woman ♪
♪ Forever in your day ♪
I remember when I first got to know
Double Fantasy,
I think I was in high school. Yeah.
And I thought the craziest
part of that song is the way he's like
the meaning of success.
What did he say? You taught me the meaning of success?
Yeah. He's thankful because
she showed him the meaning of success.
I mean, this is almost like the opposite of the Coldplay
and Smoker song, 'cause that's about a guy
who's like
maybe
knows he's nothing special.
And then the woman says, "Well, that's cool.
I'm cool with that." He was nervous about it.
This maybe seems more like a guy--
the woman stayed home,
and the guy went out to the club,
and he was chasing
all the wrong things, and he was flirting
with other
people, and he was like looking for
validation some other ways.
And he came home, she gave him an earful.
And then he realized, "You know what?
I messed up.
I'm a moron. You're cool."
And you--
real success is having
a kind person in your life
like you, woman. I also think
that John Lennon is singing this
as John Lennon to Yoko Ono.
Just straight up. I don't think it's
like a metaphor of all men.
Well, that's what's weird about why he's
just calling her woman.
Yeah. Well, it's good because he already
made a song called "Oh Yoko."
Oh Yoko!
I mean, yeah, maybe he's trying to have
this broader
metaphorical thing. And it does. It does. It works.
He was known to not be the best
husband. Right. They took
a year off because he was wild and so hard.
And she was like, "You know what, man? Go move to LA
and get a girlfriend if you can."
So maybe he felt like
I was looking for all the wrong things. I was looking
for other people, for
just being a
crazy rock star. And true success
is just
coming here and chilling with you, having somebody you can count
on. And I apologize. I'm in
your debt. That's the real meaning of success.
I'm forever
in your debt.
I've been
reading books of old.
Success just seemed like such an
un-rock and roll concept.
I think that's like Lennon
getting older.
What was he like? Probably like
early 40s by then?
Jake Sage. Yeah.
He has a kid kind of looking around
and being like, "I did the Beatles thing.
I did the post-Beatles
thing. Just getting wild, having fun."
Post-post-Beatles thing.
And now I look around and I'm like,
"You know what, man? I could go party
my ass off."
He's John Lennon. I could probably go get a lot of attention.
Go to the club.
Whatever. But if I
keep doing that, I'm
going to lose real success.
And that's having Yoko Ono as my
wife.
So brutal that he was murdered when this album
came out. Back to 2017.
The number three song on the iTunes
chart is "Clean Bandit." Rockabye.
Clean Bandit is the artist?
Yeah, but featuring Sean Paul
and Anne-Marie.
All the single moms.
This one's pretty strenuous.
Oh, you know, this song still fits.
I thought it wasn't going to fit with the theme.
This song is about a single mom
who works at night
by the water.
She's stressing, and the reason
she's working so hard is because she's got a baby at home.
And then she comes home
and tells him, "Ooh, love,
nobody's ever going to hurt you, love.
I'm going to give you all of my love.
Nobody matters like you. Your life ain't going to be
nothing like my life.
You're going to grow up and have a good life. I'm going to do what I've got to do."
So, "Rockabye Baby."
I actually sing to the baby.
Most songs, the baby is not a baby.
A literal baby. Did you guys know that?
[Laughter]
But in a way, we're talking about
the big songs right now
seem to be about intimate moments
versus splashing out
at the club.
What's more intimate than a hard-working mom
whispering to her baby, "I'm doing this for you.
I want to give you a good life." And at the same time,
it kind of reminds me of that,
"Once I was seven years."
In being this kind of
portrait or
generational in scope.
The scope of a lifetime
compressed into a song.
Right. Whether talking to your parents' generation
or the next
generation.
It's epic when you get into generational stuff.
Back to
1981, Dolly Parton, "9 to 5."
I think we discussed this last time.
Just a great song.
This song is about working too.
But it's from a slightly more
you know,
you're talking about yourself.
Dolly is so good.
I feel like this is the song.
This isn't as maudlin and sentimental.
I think this is maybe a single person.
Maybe no kid.
You're just like, "I'm working just to make a life for myself."
Clearly, I was listening to
that album, "The Dude."
Quincy Jones' solo record from '81.
Yeah, from the same era.
With "I know Carita."
Yeah, exactly.
And that song, "I know Carita,"
I don't know if it opens,
but the way this song opens with the
piano doubling the bass.
That was in the era of 1981.
You know what? Another thing I just realized.
"9 to 5."
Obviously, not all "9 to 5" jobs are white collar.
But to me, it implies
an office job.
Yeah, it implies an office job.
I think in the movie, they work at an office.
So I feel like this is a stressed out...
I'm not saying she doesn't have her problems,
but this is a stressed out single person
working a decent office job.
Whereas "Rockabye,"
they clearly state she works nights.
By the water.
Yeah, like security gig
at a weird...
Or like some weird
waterfront warehouse
where the cleaning staff comes at night.
I'm just saying it's painting a much more brutal picture.
Much more bleak.
It's not like, "9 to 5, what a crazy day,
and then I come home and I gotta talk to the kids."
It's like you worked all night, and you come home,
and it's like 6am, the sun's starting to come in,
you gotta pull down the things,
and you just see your baby for a second.
And you're just like, "I'm doing this for you."
Shout out to "Rockabye."
Back to 2017. Bruno Mars, that's what I like.
Now we're back to just bragging.
This is what we were missing.
This song is tight, though.
This is an amazing song.
I remember watching the Grammys with you.
Oh man, the breakdown?
This is a very good song.
This is the second time we're talking about Julio.
In Uptown Funky today, it says, "Julio, get the stretch."
Julio, get the stretch.
Is Julio a real person?
I hope not.
That'd be kind of tight if he was.
Clearly Julio works for Bruno Mars.
Is it like a shrimp scampi?
Yeah.
As opposed to a roast beef scampi?
What are you thinking?
Wait, are there different kinds of scampi besides shrimp?
I thought it was a type of...
What is a shrimp scampi?
Why is it not scampi shrimp?
[laughter]
Julio, get that scampi.
Scampi includes various culinary preparations
of certain crustaceans.
Okay, so not exclusively shrimp.
Yeah, there's
a similar lobster.
You have a clam.
So scampi is a preparation.
That's why it comes at the end.
It's like a European preparation.
Like chicken a la king.
Like a white wine sauce or something?
Yeah, but then they have
like a fried scampi.
I just gotta say,
the Bruno is the first one
where I'm kind of like, "Mm, you know,
that song was written in the Obama era."
You think these other songs were written
in the last two months?
Or I guess since the election, the last five months?
Maybe.
Yeah, maybe some of them.
I'm just saying, that's what I like. That's good times music.
And look, there's always use for good times music,
but it's the first song that we came to on the chart
where I'm just like,
it's a great song, but it doesn't have
the intimacy of the other ones.
The number one song this week in 1981,
Eddie Rabbit. That's one of those random
record store things
you see in the Cut Out Men.
Eddie Rabbit, "I Love a Rainy Night."
Oh, I know this song.
So do I.
All this 1981 stuff is so random.
It could have been from 1971.
Yeah, this feels real retro.
Like, trying to do
a Rick Nelson thing?
Yeah, I guess it was an Elvis thing.
Throwback songs, studio things.
Yeah, like a rockabilly.
Everyone was always
nostalgic about the '50s rock and roll.
As soon as it happened.
And then the '70s harmonies.
It sounds familiar.
Bass players getting on that falsetto harmony.
Oh, interesting.
You know what's funny?
Sometimes when it does rain in LA,
this song will pop into my head.
I will literally be like,
"Jake, how do you know this song?"
CVS, dude.
CVS in 1987?
Eileen's car, dude.
Eileen's car, word.
So, Eddie Rabbit had a collection of old tapes
he kept in the basement of his home.
While rummaging through the tapes one day in 1980,
he heard a fragment of a song he had recorded
one rainy night in the late 1960s.
Wow.
That's cool.
I like that.
That'd be the equivalent
of if one of us
found an old tape that we made
in 2004.
What's funny is
one of the hooks in that Coldplay song
"Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo"
was the hook of a song
of a band
that Jake and I were in.
Oh, really?
It was the hook of a song that we had called
"Palace of Versailles."
Oh, that's what you meant when you said "Palace of Versailles."
20 years ago.
Are you going to sue the Chainsmokers?
Yeah.
We were working on an album called
"American People 3" in the summer of '97.
I was working on landscaping during the day.
But then we had a song that didn't make the album.
It was called "Palace of Versailles."
It was "Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo."
Wait, how did it go?
"In the Palace of Versailles, I met you."
Yeah.
That's sick.
You guys must have been reading
some books of old back then.
Yeah.
How did we come up with "Palace of Versailles?"
"In the Palace of Versailles, I met you."
So the number one song in our era,
the "I Love a Rainy Night of 2017,"
this is a huge song.
"Ed Sheeran's Shape of You."
Oh, "Bedsheets."
The "Bedsheets" one.
We talked about the "Bedsheets."
Oh, yeah.
I'm so uncomfortable with that line.
It's a running theme.
I was hoping Ezra would have FaceTime
at the Grammys with Sheeran
and be able to be like, "Bro, what's up with the 'Bedsheets'?"
There was a moment where I was sitting
directly behind him.
I could have hit him with a double fish hook.
I could have wet-willed him.
I was right behind him.
He was sitting next to somebody that I vaguely knew.
But I was also like,
"There's no way that's not whack to be like..."
Is there any universe
where I could just genuinely ask him,
songwriter to songwriter,
he would have just been like,
"What, are you f***ing with me?"
You'd have to like...
"Alright, I get it. It's not the best line in the song.
Who cares?"
I'd be like, "No, dude, but I'm genuinely curious about when you were writing..."
He's talking about sniffing the "Bedsheets."
Yeah, you'd be like, "I'm genuinely curious.
Is that a British term?"
Somebody on Twitter tweeted at me
and said no.
Maybe I should have treated both of them.
You guys are just interested
in the phrase "Bedsheets."
It's a very formal phrase.
Very stiff.
"Bedsheets" just sounds so Victorian.
So we were kind of saying,
"Did he do it just because it was a syllable thing as a songwriter?"
I guess we were saying...
Is there a rhyme scheme?
To American...
Yeah, because you couldn't be like,
"And now my..."
"And now my bedsheets..."
It wouldn't work.
"And now my bedsheets..."
It doesn't sound that bad, actually.
I guess we were just saying, "To American ears..."
Very clinical.
"To American ears, 'Bedsheets' took us out of the song."
Because the song is a very sensual,
very sexy song.
Is it?
Yeah. It's kind of like everything that Sam Hunt...
Sam Hunt came up to the line
with "Body Like a Backroad,"
and Ed Sheeran just blasted right past it.
Sam Hunt is this kind of...
"Sam Hunt, Body Like a Backroad" is this humble song
about, "Baby,
I feel very comfortable."
At this point in our relationship,
I feel very comfortable with your body.
We have both seen each other nude many times.
We have made love many times.
And to me, your body has become familiar to me
in a comforting way.
And then Ed Sheeran is more just pure lust.
"I'm in love with the shape of you."
I see that shape.
I just can't get it out of my head.
Sam Hunt talks about the shapes as well.
Yeah, but the tone is different.
I'm not saying one's better than the other,
but Sam Hunt, to me, that's a relationship
a year or two in.
Five or ten in, dude.
I'm just saying when people are just walking around
naked and
feeling super comfortable...
That's five years in.
I'm just kidding.
I feel like Ed Sheeran is...
I think in the song, it's like they met two weeks ago.
They just had a second night together.
I think it's like two weeks when it's just
fully like...
We're just having so much sex.
And she's on a business trip now.
Unnerving about that image.
He's smelling the sheets after she's taken off.
That's weird.
I guess there's also something about saying bed sheets
that implies... I hope nobody finds this vulgar,
but I'm just saying he's implying
that he's smelling the sex.
I'm not going to say
any more than that, but he's...
I don't know.
Kanye talks about the spray tan on the sheets.
It could smell like her conditioner
or something like that.
I think if he wanted to say that...
See, there's something about bed sheets that also implies...
It's not like he said,
"And the pillowcase smells of herbal essences."
You know?
The pillowcase smells.
Michael K.
Michael...
The pillowcase...
The pillowcase smells...
Michael K.
Of herbal essences.
He didn't say anything about the pillowcase.
He didn't say anything about perfume.
He's like, "The bed sheets."
He's talking about the duvet.
He should've said the duvet.
That would've been sick.
"And now my duvet smells like you."
That's what I would've done.
And that's why he said Sharon and I'm not.
It's because I don't have the balls to go for it.
I would've just awkwardly been like,
"The pillowcase smells like you."
Not getting in the top five for that.
It doesn't land as much as bed sheets.
It sounds more like a Vampire Weekend lyric.
It really does.
I know, that's my problem.
That's not a problem, dude.
It's like, "Oh, Ezra referenced the duvet."
Maybe in 2008.
2012 at best.
This is 2017, man.
The people want bed sheets.
It's Trump and bed sheets.
You're revealing your insecurities as an aging artist.
"And now my duvet..."
I really love it when...
This is off topic, but when...
There's that Arctic Monkey song
where he talks about a settee.
Oh, yeah, that song's sick.
Also because it's a super heavy song
and he just says "settee."
Wait, what's "settee"?
Is it like an ottoman or something?
Yeah, it's basically an ottoman.
I had to look it up, though.
I was like, "What the hell is he talking about?"
I feel like if Ed Sheeran talked about
a settee, it's like a little couch
or a bench.
"And now my settee smells like you."
A daybed?
That'd be sick if he was like,
"And now my daybed smells like you."
"I even had it on the daybed."
It wasn't me.
Or he's like...
Yeah, some technical aspect
of sheeting and bedding.
"And now my Eames chair
smells like you."
Bottom line,
Ed Sheeran, this is a lustful song.
I'm not judging it.
While we're here, I know that we're
blasting through the top five, but in the second
verse, he uses some language
that is real specific.
Okay, let's get on here.
That is a very specific verse.
I gotta say,
when he says, "We went to an all-you-can-eat place
and we talked about the sweet and the sour,"
that just makes me think about
being at some giant buffet.
Maybe this says more about me that I just
don't have good impulse control at buffets,
but I'm picturing
sitting down,
Ed Sheeran is just like
pork fried rice,
egg rolls, shrimp scampi,
sweet and sour chicken,
large fountain drink.
[laughter]
64-ounce Pepsi.
Which, I'm saying, is a beautiful thing to share
with a loved one. All that sounds good.
But then getting in-- -It's like the second date.
-Second date, and then you're getting in the cab
and starting to make out on the way home.
If I was with a beautiful
woman in this early
first few weeks kind of thing--
-You're taking it easy on the wontons.
-I wouldn't go to an all-you-can-eat place, but he's saying they wanted
a good value, I guess.
-Well, it sounds like an adventurous, organic
evening where you're
drinking, it's late,
everything's open, it's the all-you-can-eat Chinese.
Let's hit that.
-And we talked about the sweet and the sour
and how your family's doing okay.
When I first heard that line, I gotta admit, I was a little
like, "That's a dumb line." But now that
I think about it more, and I really do
respect Ed Sheeran, maybe
he's actually trying to
say, "So we're sitting at the Chinese buffet,
and frankly, there's not a whole lot
to talk about, because both of us just want to get
home and get it on."
-Yeah. -'Cause actually,
those lines sound like
filler, unless he's trying to describe
sitting at the Chinese buffet and being like,
"So we're sitting there, trying to talk, trying to be on
a normal date." -Right. -And so I'm like,
"Sweet and sour chicken's pretty good." And she's like, "Yeah."
And he's like, "How's your family?" "They're okay."
"Interesting."
-Right. -Um, "Hey,
do you want to go back to my place?" "I thought you'd never ask."
-No, 'cause he's saying-- -Let's go do it, man.
-We talked for hours and hours.
-Oh, that destroys that.
Or maybe he's still nervous. He's like,
"Uh, we had, like, incredible sex."
-Sometimes those conversations can go on for hours.
-Right. Maybe because nobody
wants to cut to the chase. -You're trying to close a deal,
but it takes four hours. -Well, this-- I assume this
is not the-- Oh, maybe it was their first date.
-♪♪ And we let the story begin ♪♪
♪♪ We're going out on our first date ♪♪
-Oh, it is their first date. -♪♪ You and me are thrifty ♪♪
♪♪ So go all you can eat ♪♪ ♪♪ Fill up your bag ♪♪
♪♪ And I fill up the plate ♪♪ ♪♪ We talk for hours and hours ♪♪
♪♪ About the sweet and the sour ♪♪
♪♪ And how your family's doing okay ♪♪
-We have nothing to talk about. -♪♪ And the taxi ♪♪
♪♪ Tell the driver make the radio play ♪♪
-♪♪ And I'm singing like ♪♪ -♪♪ Girl, you know I want your love ♪♪
-Okay, so Ed Sheeran's horned up.
Man, he's on his first date,
and they don't really have that much to talk about.
It's a little awkward. They don't know each other at all.
-So you're giving him-- I think that's an interesting read,
that he's specifically, like,
illustrating the fact that the conversation
was boring, where the energy was
was not in the conversation.
-I will give Ed Sheeran-- be charitable enough
to Ed Sheeran to think that he would not
just randomly throw in, like, "And how your family's doing?"
Okay? The fact that it's the first date
makes it all kind of come together to me.
-Right. -First date.
-They can't really-- they can't find the words. -We're both kind of broke.
Or he doesn't say we're broke. He says we're thrifty.
Is this, like, rich, current Ed Sheeran?
Maybe he still is thrifty.
Imagine you go on your first date.
-I like-- I like that he-- -You get set up on a blind date
with Ed Sheeran, and you're just like,
"Oh, my God, that's crazy." And your friends are like,
"Can you imagine if you, like, married him?
You'd be, like, a freaking billionaire."
And then he's like, "So I started dating Ed Sheeran,
and I'm a billionaire." And then he's like,
"So I say we just hit the all-you-can-eat
Chinese buffet."
I like that he's trying to make a--
like, a joke.
He's like, "We're thrifty, so you fill up your bag."
Oh, he said, "You fill up your bag."
-Yeah. -And I fill up my plate.
But it seems like the joke is at her expense,
which is, like, working against him.
Well, he's reflecting on it now,
so maybe they're comfortable with each other now.
-It's confusing. -That's a good read on the song, man.
That would not have occurred to me.
He was presenting the conversation as, like,
this was, like, a deep conversation.
There's only one way to find out.
And I feel like your read of it
is so layered and nuanced.
I'm trying to be a charitable person,
you know, in 2017. There's enough hatred
in the world that
I'm always gonna look for the...
the good. Speaking of
Ed Sheeran and his attention to detail,
and he really does have-- he truly is an interesting
songwriter. Satya
Hariharan-- I'm not sure
if I'm pronouncing it correctly, but Satya
emailed Jake,
I think, right? It was an email, right?
-Oh, yeah, yeah. -So, Satya emailed Jake.
As always, if you can track down Jake's email,
you can always get a Time Crisis
email through. -Super hard to find it.
-Super hard to find it. And
Satya said, "Ed Sheeran sung 'Galway Girl'
on the new album,
the same one as 'Shape of You.'
There's a line, 'I walked her home, then she took me
inside to finish some
Doritos and another bottle of wine.'"
Doritos.
-Straight up
nacho cheese.
-Doritos and wine.
Satya asked, "What's our
take on the song lyrics, and what wine would you pair
with the different flavors of Doritos?"
You know what? -That's a great question.
-You know what? Ed Sheeran, like,
I guess he's younger, he's like mid-twenties,
but that does make me think of, like,
those kind of, like, funny situations
where you, like, randomly find yourself,
like, somebody invites you to their apartment,
and they're, like, nervous. Something about the
pairing of Doritos, I'm being super, super charitable
to Ed Sheeran today, but when
I picture, like, the pairing of Doritos and another bottle of
wine, that reminds me of just being,
like... -It's like college.
-Yeah, college, maybe a little
earlier, maybe a little bit later, but
like, whatever, between
seventeen and
twenty-six. Just being
in that zone where you might go to somebody's house
and you're, like, and everybody's still nervous,
and they're just like, "Um,
you wanna drink something?" And you're just like,
"Uh, sure." And then they're like, you're like, "What do
you have?" And they're just like, "Um,
oh, I got this, like, half-drunk, like,
bottle of wine." You're like, "I'm down."
And then they, like, put out some Doritos. You just have, like, this weird, random
kind of awkward
combo. That's what that connects
to me. -He probably lived that moment.
The Doritos and the wine.
-Yeah, 'cause he could've said something
else. That implies some
sort of hodgepodge. -That's a tough word to sing.
[Dan laughs]
Doritos. -We don't have
time to listen to him sing it, but I can imagine.
-Doritos. -I hope it's
a ballad. That'd be sick.
-Go away, girl. -His
Irish lady.
[singing]
-Cool ranch. -Anyway,
that was the Top 5. Congratulations to
Ed Sheeran and Eddie Rabbit. Two Eds.
[Dan laughs] For holding it down
in the number one slots in 1981
and 2017.
Well, guys, that was a hell of a show.
Dave, thanks for coming here.
-Thanks for having me on. -Don't forget, everybody,
Dirty Projectors.
11 records in stores now.
How many Dirty Projectors albums are there?
-I don't know.
This is, like, the eighth or something, right?
-I guess. -Seventh or eighth.
-Depends how you count it. -Plus the
Dave Longstreth first album.
Debatably part of the Dirty Projectors
canon. -It's in there.
And the American people.
-And American people. -Unreleased.
Angry Youth. There'll be a box set at some point.
-The one last thing we gotta say is earlier
in the show we were talking about Vin Diesel.
And for legal reasons, we gotta clear this up,
we strongly implied
that Vin Diesel is a Republican
or at the very least would run as a Republican.
Our
R&D department got back to us
and said that
Vin Diesel has never come out as a Republican.
In fact, he's expressed
a lot of admiration for Obama.
And in fact, he likes Obama so much that he went out of
his way to say that his dream
would be to play Obama
in a biopic. -Whoa.
-That's a pretty cool idea.
A President Obama movie.
Vin Diesel. -Jacked.
-Jacked. Then we finally get a jacked
president. He's a great actor.
-Oliver Stone directs. -Oliver Stone.
-Obama. -Obama.
-Have you seen Barry? -No, is that the one
where he's young? -Yeah. -Is it good? -I haven't seen it.
-Wait, isn't there another one that's called like
a walk-in... -Yeah, there's two Obama
movies from last year. -There's like a romantic one.
-That one is Michelle and Barack's first date.
-First date. -That's sweet.
-They hit a Chinese buffet. -They hit a Chinese buffet.
-In my minivan
smells like you. -I'm in love
with your body. Alright, thank you Longshire
Brothers. -Woo!
-Always good getting the whole family in here.
That was Time Crisis.
We'll see you in two weeks.
Time Crisis with Ezra King.
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