Episode 45

Start Timestamp - End Timestamp: Transcript

00:00 - 00:03: Time Crisis, back once again.

00:03 - 00:06: I'm rejoined by my good friend Jake,

00:06 - 00:09: who's been on a wedding tour across America.

00:09 - 00:14: We'll be talking about the last stand of Belgium's Wendy's,

00:14 - 00:16: and not the Wendy's you think.

00:16 - 00:19: We'll also be joined by Kazzy David

00:19 - 00:22: to discuss clubbing,

00:22 - 00:24: Niall Horan,

00:24 - 00:26: and Seinfeld trivia.

00:26 - 00:29: All this on a very special...

00:29 - 00:33: Time Crisis, with Ezra King.

00:33 - 00:35: B-B-B-Beast...

00:35 - 00:37: One.

00:37 - 00:40: # They passed me by

00:40 - 00:43: # All of those great romances

00:43 - 00:47: # They were a wealth of a belief

00:47 - 00:50: # All my rightful chances

00:50 - 00:53: # My picture clear

00:53 - 00:58: # Everything seemed so easy

00:58 - 01:02: # And so I dealt to the blow

01:02 - 01:05: # One of us had to go

01:05 - 01:07: # Now it's different

01:07 - 01:10: # I want you to know

01:10 - 01:13: # One of us is crying

01:13 - 01:16: # One of us is lying

01:16 - 01:20: # Leave a lonely way... #

01:20 - 01:24: Time Crisis, Los Angeles, California.

01:24 - 01:26: What's up, Jake?

01:26 - 01:28: It's June 2017.

01:28 - 01:30: That's right. Deep in 2017 now.

01:30 - 01:32: - Jeez. - Almost halfway done.

01:32 - 01:34: I know it's a cliche, but the year is flying by.

01:34 - 01:36: It's good to see you, Jake.

01:36 - 01:38: You've been on the road a lot lately, man.

01:38 - 01:40: I feel like you're on a wedding tour.

01:40 - 01:41: It's true.

01:41 - 01:44: I'm getting texts from you, seeing Instagrams,

01:44 - 01:46: where I'm just trying to figure out where you are.

01:46 - 01:49: You know when you see a picture of some random bus,

01:49 - 01:51: and you're just like, "Where is that?"

01:51 - 01:53: I know that's not an LA bus, not a New York bus.

01:53 - 01:55: Or just a weird pizza hut,

01:55 - 01:58: and then the location on my gram just says, like,

01:58 - 02:00: Pineville, Minnesota.

02:00 - 02:04: Like a weird CVS in suburban Minneapolis.

02:04 - 02:06: So what's going on? I guess it's springtime.

02:06 - 02:09: - It's wedding season. - I've been to two weddings

02:09 - 02:12: far from LA in the last three weeks.

02:12 - 02:15: But the good news is I'm done for the summer. That's it.

02:15 - 02:17: - Oh, really? You banged it out? - Yeah, banged it out.

02:17 - 02:21: Yeah, 'cause some people got, like, seven, eight weddings a season.

02:21 - 02:23: - That's insane. That's crazy. - So both of these people

02:23 - 02:25: - were your girlfriend's friends? - Yeah.

02:25 - 02:27: Last weekend was DC, and then two weekends before that,

02:27 - 02:30: Memorial Day weekend, was Minneapolis.

02:30 - 02:32: You came in today wearing a T-shirt,

02:32 - 02:34: which I believe is from the same Minnesota trip

02:34 - 02:36: that you were just waiting for.

02:36 - 02:38: It says "Sweet Martha's Cookie Jar."

02:38 - 02:41: It looks kind of like an early '70s logo.

02:41 - 02:45: There's an anthropomorphized female cookie,

02:45 - 02:48: or at least-- we don't know if the cookie's female,

02:48 - 02:50: - but this cookie-- - No, definitely a female cookie.

02:50 - 02:52: Well, it's probably what they wanted to imply.

02:52 - 02:54: The cookie has kind of, like, lipstick on and high heels,

02:54 - 02:56: - but, you know-- - Eyelashes.

02:56 - 02:58: They're going for, like, a Minnie Mouse look on this cookie.

02:58 - 03:01: What is Sweet Martha's Cookie Jar?

03:01 - 03:04: Okay, well, this is something I learned about on my trip to Minnesota.

03:04 - 03:09: The Minnesota State Fair occurs the final two weeks of August of every year,

03:09 - 03:12: and it's the second largest state fair in the country,

03:12 - 03:14: so it's a big deal.

03:14 - 03:17: Like, a family friend of Hannah's

03:17 - 03:21: runs this business called Sweet Martha's Cookie Jar,

03:21 - 03:26: and so at the fairgrounds, there's a giant cookie stand

03:26 - 03:28: that sells cookies in buckets.

03:28 - 03:33: So, like, you buy, like, four dozen chocolate chip cookies in a bucket

03:33 - 03:36: - for, like, $17 or something. - So you can't buy a single cookie?

03:36 - 03:38: - I think you can, but here's the thing. - Yeah.

03:38 - 03:41: It's a very popular item at the fair,

03:41 - 03:43: and people wait in line for hours.

03:43 - 03:49: And I saw aerial photographs of zombie hordes

03:49 - 03:51: trying to get to the cookie stand.

03:51 - 03:54: People wait in line at the Minnesota State Fair to get--

03:54 - 03:58: Sweet Martha's Cookie Jar chocolate chip cookies. That's all they sell.

03:58 - 04:01: Because Sweet Martha's Cookie Jar, there's no brick-and-mortar retail establishment?

04:01 - 04:04: Nope. They sell this cookie-- Okay, they sell these cookies

04:04 - 04:10: only 12 days a year at the Minnesota State Fair,

04:10 - 04:14: and this operation is so successful and legendary within the state of Minnesota

04:14 - 04:16: that that's their yearly income.

04:16 - 04:17: - That's so crazy. - Yeah.

04:17 - 04:22: They make a good living every year selling cookies 12 days a year.

04:22 - 04:27: Sweet Martha's Cookie Jar only exists at the Minnesota State Fair

04:27 - 04:29: once a year for 12 days.

04:29 - 04:31: - They're covering their yearly income. - Yep.

04:31 - 04:34: Colin just showed me an article on his phone,

04:34 - 04:36: and I didn't want to speculate on their income

04:36 - 04:38: because I knew the business did well.

04:38 - 04:41: But this article the Hebrews brought up said that they make $3 million annually

04:41 - 04:46: selling cookies. Now, I know that they have 600 employees working the fair.

04:46 - 04:49: - I don't know what their overhead is. - But that's for 12 days.

04:49 - 04:54: - That's insane. - They're probably paying college students $7.50 an hour.

04:54 - 04:58: So I know people that-- Oh, this dude Sean that I met,

04:58 - 05:00: his girlfriend--

05:00 - 05:02: - Had worked at the fair? - No, no, no.

05:02 - 05:04: His girlfriend's mom is Martha.

05:04 - 05:05: - Is Sweet Martha-- - Sorry to cut to the chase.

05:05 - 05:08: - Wait, so did you meet Sweet Martha? - Oh, yeah. I went out-- Okay.

05:08 - 05:11: Okay. Full disclosure. I went out to their lake house.

05:11 - 05:13: - You went to Sweet Martha's lake house? - Yes, I did.

05:13 - 05:15: That's where I met her and her husband.

05:15 - 05:18: - I mean, it must have been a sick lake house. - Yeah, it was amazing.

05:18 - 05:20: - Yeah. - And then we just rolled in blind.

05:20 - 05:23: I didn't know anything. I didn't know anyone there.

05:23 - 05:26: - Just eating caviar for breakfast. - Yeah, exactly.

05:26 - 05:30: Slowly this story emerges about Sweet Martha's and the cookies.

05:30 - 05:33: And I'm like, "Okay, they have a cookie franchise.

05:33 - 05:37: I'm sure they have outlets, locations, and various strip malls

05:37 - 05:40: around the greater Twin Cities."

05:40 - 05:43: Not the case. 12 days a year.

05:43 - 05:46: - And so-- And actually-- Okay. - Dad's like,

05:46 - 05:49: "Jake, have you ever seen $3 million in cash?"

05:49 - 05:51: Like, "No, sir." Like, come down to the basement.

05:51 - 05:54: - Yeah, seriously. - This is still from 2012.

05:54 - 05:57: I haven't even had time to deposit this.

05:57 - 05:59: Okay, well, check this out, dude.

05:59 - 06:03: So there's the 12 days a year, but if there's a big event

06:03 - 06:07: at the Minnesota State Fairgrounds, they will open up for a day.

06:07 - 06:11: Now, the Saturday that we were there for the wedding,

06:11 - 06:15: during the day, there was a hip-hop festival curated by this guy, Atmosphere,

06:15 - 06:18: who's like a local Minnesota rapper.

06:18 - 06:20: And he had put together a big hip-hop festival,

06:20 - 06:23: and so Sweet Martha's was open for the afternoon.

06:23 - 06:27: So we went over to the fairgrounds and got a tour of the full facilities.

06:27 - 06:30: - Is it a permanent structure? - Oh, yeah.

06:30 - 06:32: - Major, major infrastructure. - You know what?

06:32 - 06:35: - Major investment went into this. - It's like the Venice Biennale.

06:35 - 06:37: - Kind of. - 'Cause there they have, like,

06:37 - 06:39: - every country has their pavilion. - Sure.

06:39 - 06:42: Which, you know, it's really every two years.

06:42 - 06:45: So for the vast majority of the time, they build these big permanent structures

06:45 - 06:47: that I'm sure they do other stuff in between,

06:47 - 06:50: but really, it's there for every two years.

06:50 - 06:52: - Yeah. - And this is every one year.

06:52 - 06:54: So did you see a lot of, like, Atmosphere fans

06:54 - 06:57: schlepping around a giant bucket of cookies?

06:57 - 06:59: - Yep. - Just, like, in the crowd,

06:59 - 07:03: - everybody was holding it? - Yeah, everyone was hitting Sweet Martha's.

07:03 - 07:07: According to Google, there's only 90 calories in a Sweet Martha's cookie.

07:07 - 07:10: - Well, they're small. They're small. - Okay.

07:10 - 07:12: - And did you-- So you ate one? - Oh, yeah.

07:12 - 07:15: - Probably ate, like, six. - I mean, when in Rome.

07:15 - 07:18: I wanted to make a song about where I'm from, you know?

07:18 - 07:21: Big up my hometown, my territory, my state

07:21 - 07:24: But I couldn't figure out much to brag about

07:24 - 07:27: Well, Prince lives here, we got 10,000 legs

07:27 - 07:29: But wait, the women are beautiful, to me they are

07:29 - 07:32: And we're not infested with pretentious movie stars

07:32 - 07:35: And it hit me, hit me, Minnesota is dope

07:35 - 07:38: If only simply, for not what we have, but what we don't

07:38 - 07:41: It's all there, it ain't out there, it's in there

07:41 - 07:44: It's in the mirror, behind the breast, under the hair

07:44 - 07:47: Follow the dream, doesn't mean leave the love

07:47 - 07:50: Roam if you must, but come home when you've seen enough

07:50 - 07:53: I love New York and Cali, but I ain't moved

07:53 - 07:56: Too overpopulated, saturated with humans

07:56 - 07:58: And I'm not big on rappers, actors, or models

07:58 - 08:01: If I had to dip, I'd probably skip to Chicago

08:01 - 08:04: None of this is to diss no one, nowhere

08:04 - 08:07: Like damn, I'm from Minnesota, land of the cold air

08:07 - 08:10: Too many mosquitoes and a fair share of egos

08:10 - 08:13: But like my man Sabi says, that's where my money stands

08:13 - 08:15: So if the people laugh and giggle when you tell 'em where you live

08:15 - 08:18: Say, say

08:18 - 08:21: And if you know this is where you wanna raise your kids

08:21 - 08:24: Say, say

08:24 - 08:27: If you're from the Midwest and it doesn't matter where

08:27 - 08:30: Say, say

08:30 - 08:33: If you can drink tap water and breathe the air

08:33 - 08:36: Say, say

08:36 - 08:38: Got trees and vegetation in the city I stay

08:38 - 08:42: The rent's in the mail, and I can't always find a parking space

08:42 - 08:44: The women outnumber the men two to one

08:44 - 08:47: Got parks and zoos and things to do with my son

08:47 - 08:50: The nightlife ain't all that, but that's okay

08:50 - 08:53: I don't need to be distracted by the devil every day

08:53 - 08:55: And the jobs ain't really too hard to find

08:55 - 08:59: In fact, you could have mine if you knew how to rhyme

08:59 - 09:01: This is for everyone around the planet

09:01 - 09:04: That wishes they were from somewhere other than where they're standing

09:04 - 09:07: Don't take it for granted, instead, take a look around

09:07 - 09:10: Quit complaining and build something on that ground

09:10 - 09:12: Plant something on that ground, dance and sleep on that ground

09:12 - 09:15: Get on your hands and knees and watch the ants walk around the ground

09:15 - 09:18: Make a family, make magic, make a mess

09:18 - 09:21: Take the stress, fuel your motivation, and build your nest

09:21 - 09:24: It sucks that you think where I'm from is whack

09:24 - 09:27: But as long as that's enough to keep your ass from coming back

09:27 - 09:29: And with a smile and a hint of sarcasm, he said

09:29 - 09:32: I beg your pardon, but this is my secret garden

09:32 - 09:33: Alright

09:33 - 09:41: (Middle of the land of ice and snow)

09:41 - 09:43: (Middle of the land of ice and snow)

09:43 - 09:47: So if the people laugh and giggle when you tell 'em where you live, say

09:47 - 09:49: Say

09:49 - 09:53: If you know this is where you wanna raise your kids, say

09:53 - 09:55: Say

09:55 - 09:59: If you're from the Midwest and it doesn't matter where, say

09:59 - 10:01: Say

10:01 - 10:05: If you can drink tap water and breathe the air, say

10:05 - 10:07: Say

10:07 - 10:11: If the playground is clear of stems and syringes, say

10:11 - 10:12: Say

10:12 - 10:16: If there's only one store in your town that sells 12 inches, say

10:16 - 10:18: Say

10:18 - 10:22: If no one in your crew walks around with a gun, say

10:22 - 10:24: Say

10:24 - 10:28: And if you ain't gonna leave 'cause this is where you're from, say

10:28 - 10:30: Say

10:30 - 10:33: St. Cloud, Minnesota

10:33 - 10:36: Mankato, Minnesota

10:36 - 10:39: Duluth, Minnesota

10:39 - 10:42: Kansas City

10:42 - 10:45: St. Louis, Missouri

10:45 - 10:48: Columbia, Missouri

10:48 - 10:50: Oshkosh, Wisconsin

10:50 - 10:53: Madison, Milwaukee

10:53 - 10:56: Cincinnati, Ohio

10:56 - 10:59: Columbus, Ohio

10:59 - 11:02: Bolo, Colorado

11:02 - 11:05: Lawrence, Kansas

11:05 - 11:08: Tulsa, Oklahoma

11:08 - 11:11: Sioux Falls, South Dakota

11:11 - 11:13: Ann Arbor, Michigan

11:13 - 11:16: Indianapolis, say

11:16 - 11:20: You know, I've always hated Otis Spunkmeyer. It's just one of those brands that rub me the wrong way.

11:20 - 11:25: I think I've talked about this on the show. If I haven't, I'm glad we're talking about it now.

11:25 - 11:30: I just remember being a kid, and at my school, they had grandma's cookies.

11:30 - 11:32: Grandma's sucks too.

11:32 - 11:37: Yeah, those suck too. But then they would have these greasy, hot Otis Spunkmeyer cookies.

11:37 - 11:41: I always just felt like I don't like the name Otis Spunkmeyer. I think that that's...

11:41 - 11:43: That's a terrible name.

11:43 - 11:47: And I'm not even saying because of that. I just don't like it.

11:47 - 11:50: And I don't like how greasy they are.

11:50 - 11:54: I don't know. There's something about having your full name, first and last name, on the cookie.

11:54 - 11:57: I'm down with Sweet Martha's, but it should be Grandpa Spunkmeyer.

11:57 - 11:59: Otis Spunkmeyer, it's arrogant.

11:59 - 12:02: So I've always disliked Otis Spunkmeyer, but I just want to say that

12:02 - 12:07: Mr. Spunkmeyer, you spend all year trying to get into schools

12:07 - 12:10: and selling these gross cookies at the mall.

12:10 - 12:12: I just want to say Sweet Martha's mops the floor with you.

12:12 - 12:16: Sweet Martha's cleaning up three million in twelve days.

12:16 - 12:23: In November 2006, the company was sold to IAWS Group for 561 million.

12:23 - 12:25: That's how much Otis Spunkmeyer went for?

12:25 - 12:30: IAWS already owned Cuisine de France and La Brea Bakery

12:30 - 12:35: and merged with High Stand to form Azerta in 2008.

12:35 - 12:40: Yeah, so you really want your cookie coming from an international conglomerate

12:40 - 12:43: that sounds like a cholesterol medication?

12:43 - 12:45: Yeah, like a pharmaceutical... Yeah, exactly.

12:45 - 12:46: Azerta.

12:46 - 12:48: Ask your doctor.

12:48 - 12:50: Okay, well first of all, Azerta.

12:50 - 12:53: 561 million for Otis Spunkmeyer, you got ripped off.

12:53 - 12:55: Yeah, you overpaid, dude. You overpaid like crazy.

12:55 - 12:57: That's a Kushner move.

12:57 - 12:59: Yeah.

12:59 - 13:01: Jared Kushner definitely brokered that deal.

13:01 - 13:02: That's like a half a billion.

13:02 - 13:06: And I also want to say, Mr. Spunkmeyer, yeah, you got a big fat check,

13:06 - 13:11: but you know what? I'd rather be like some kind vibe Sweet Martha's thing.

13:11 - 13:16: Just every 12 days, you rake in that check, and then the rest of the day you chill.

13:16 - 13:20: Because it's like, would you really want to be a billionaire if it meant that every day

13:20 - 13:23: you're taking advantage of people?

13:23 - 13:25: You're waking up stressed out?

13:25 - 13:29: You know, forget-- like Sweet Martha's, that's the sweet spot of commerce.

13:29 - 13:35: You made something, it's local, it's regional, people like it, you're getting paid great.

13:35 - 13:36: You're a local legend.

13:36 - 13:38: You don't need to franchise that out.

13:38 - 13:39: No.

13:39 - 13:44: If Sweet Martha and the gang spend the past 30 years building the brand,

13:44 - 13:46: they're like, we're opening one in Madison, Wisconsin.

13:46 - 13:48: We're finally going to Chicago.

13:48 - 13:50: She's down there all stressed out with the architect.

13:50 - 13:53: Just like, oh my god, the Chicago and blah blah.

13:53 - 13:55: Little by little, it's growing and growing.

13:55 - 13:58: Then they get a chance to sell, and then they have to bring in all these finance dudes.

13:58 - 14:04: And then finally, after 30 years of stressful stuff, getting in fights with Otis Spunkmeyer.

14:04 - 14:06: What's the other one at the mall?

14:06 - 14:07: Mrs. Fields.

14:07 - 14:10: You get in fights with Mrs. Fields, blah blah blah.

14:10 - 14:15: And then finally, it's like you're 70, and you get that check for $561 million.

14:15 - 14:16: And you're just like, cool.

14:16 - 14:18: I could have been kicking it at the Lake House.

14:18 - 14:19: Right.

14:19 - 14:20: Great.

14:20 - 14:21: Yeah, your kids are pissed off at you.

14:21 - 14:23: Right.

14:23 - 14:27: You know, the people that were OG Sweet Martha's fans are inundated.

14:27 - 14:29: The stress of--

14:29 - 14:32: The quality of the product went down so far when they sold.

14:32 - 14:34: The insane stress of when you first open--

14:34 - 14:39: When you're trying to open the one in Italy, and the local bakers revolted.

14:39 - 14:40: Right, right.

14:59 - 15:00: ♪ Push me to the edge ♪

15:00 - 15:02: ♪ All my friends are dead ♪

15:02 - 15:03: ♪ Push me to the edge ♪

15:03 - 15:05: ♪ Phantom that's all right ♪

15:05 - 15:06: ♪ Inside all white ♪

15:06 - 15:08: ♪ Last time you ride a sled ♪

15:08 - 15:09: ♪ I just want that ♪

15:09 - 15:11: ♪ My brilliant heart man ♪

15:11 - 15:13: ♪ I'm brilliant heart man now ♪

15:13 - 15:14: ♪ Everybody got the same swag now ♪

15:14 - 15:16: ♪ Watch the way I tear down ♪

15:16 - 15:17: ♪ Stacking my fans all the way to the top ♪

15:17 - 15:19: ♪ All the way to the top ♪

15:19 - 15:20: ♪ Every time that you leave your spa ♪

15:20 - 15:22: ♪ Your girlfriend call me like come on now ♪

15:22 - 15:23: ♪ I like the way that she treat me ♪

15:23 - 15:24: ♪ Gon leave you, won't leave me ♪

15:24 - 15:25: ♪ I call it that Casanova ♪

15:25 - 15:26: ♪ She say I'm insane ♪

15:26 - 15:30: ♪ Yeah I wanna wanna break out ♪

15:30 - 15:32: ♪ Me up the brain ♪

15:32 - 15:34: ♪ Please make it go away ♪

15:34 - 15:36: ♪ I'm committed not addicted ♪

15:36 - 15:37: ♪ But it keep controlling me ♪

15:37 - 15:39: ♪ Out of pain I can feel it ♪

15:39 - 15:41: ♪ I swear that it's slowing me ♪

15:41 - 15:42: ♪ Yeah ♪

15:42 - 15:45: ♪ I don't really care if you cry ♪

15:45 - 15:48: ♪ I'm the reason I never lie ♪

15:48 - 15:51: ♪ So when she look me in my eyes ♪

15:51 - 15:54: ♪ She said I am not afraid to die ♪

15:54 - 15:56: ♪ All my friends are dead ♪

15:56 - 15:57: ♪ Push me to the edge ♪

15:57 - 15:59: ♪ All my friends are dead ♪

15:59 - 16:00: ♪ Yeah ♪

16:00 - 16:02: ♪ Push me to the edge ♪

16:02 - 16:04: ♪ All my friends are dead ♪

16:04 - 16:06: ♪ All my friends are dead ♪

16:06 - 16:07: ♪ That is not your swag ♪

16:07 - 16:09: ♪ I swear you fake ♪

16:09 - 16:12: ♪ Y'all ain't know where they take my cake ♪

16:12 - 16:14: ♪ Red hot, that is dope ♪

16:14 - 16:15: ♪ Red hot, yeah ♪

16:15 - 16:18: ♪ Man some, look, dance some ♪

16:18 - 16:21: ♪ Fast car, nice car, dress some ♪

16:21 - 16:22: ♪ In the club they got no ones ♪

16:22 - 16:25: ♪ Then we move back some ♪

16:25 - 16:26: ♪ Lost from overseas ♪

16:26 - 16:28: ♪ Got the racks and they all see ♪

16:28 - 16:30: ♪ No, to you it's not a cheat ♪

16:30 - 16:31: ♪ Bro, looking at your swag ♪

16:31 - 16:32: ♪ And look at your money ♪

16:32 - 16:33: ♪ It all green, yo ♪

16:33 - 16:35: ♪ I was counting, now that it's all 20's ♪

16:35 - 16:36: ♪ That's a cheat, bro ♪

16:36 - 16:38: ♪ She said, you're the worst ♪

16:38 - 16:40: ♪ You're the worst ♪

16:40 - 16:44: ♪ I cannot die, 'cause my universe ♪

16:44 - 16:47: ♪ I don't really care if you cry ♪

16:47 - 16:50: ♪ I'm the reason I never lie ♪

16:50 - 16:53: ♪ Should've saw the way she look me in my eyes ♪

16:53 - 16:56: ♪ She said, baby, I am not afraid to die ♪

16:56 - 16:58: ♪ Push me to the edge ♪

16:58 - 16:59: ♪ All my friends are dead ♪

16:59 - 17:01: ♪ Push me to the edge ♪

17:01 - 17:02: ♪ All my friends are dead ♪

17:02 - 17:04: ♪ Push me to the edge ♪

17:04 - 17:05: ♪ All my friends are dead ♪

17:05 - 17:07: ♪ Push me to the edge ♪

17:07 - 17:09: - So Jake, we got a hell of a show today.

17:09 - 17:10: - Sweet.

17:10 - 17:13: - Seinfeld 2000 helped us get a great guest.

17:13 - 17:15: You wanna tell us about the guest, Seinfeld?

17:15 - 17:18: - Sure, her name is Kazzy David,

17:18 - 17:20: and she's the daughter of Larry David,

17:20 - 17:23: the creator of a TV show called "Curb Your Enthusiasm,"

17:23 - 17:27: the co-creator of another show called "Seinfeld,"

17:27 - 17:28: which was a popular sitcom.

17:28 - 17:29: - We're familiar.

17:29 - 17:32: - Yeah, I know her kind of through Instagram.

17:32 - 17:33: There was some direct messaging going on,

17:33 - 17:35: and then she seemed very on-brand

17:35 - 17:37: for this particular program,

17:37 - 17:41: and she's graciously agreed to join us.

17:41 - 17:42: - You've been hooking us up

17:42 - 17:45: with a lot of great Seinfeld-adjacent content,

17:45 - 17:46: because the truth is,

17:46 - 17:48: nobody wants to hear us really talk about the show,

17:48 - 17:51: but you got us the composer of the Seinfeld theme.

17:51 - 17:51: - That was great.

17:51 - 17:52: - Yeah.

17:52 - 17:53: - And now you have Kazzy David,

17:53 - 17:55: who not only is Larry David's daughter,

17:55 - 17:58: but she's also following in her father's footsteps now.

17:58 - 18:00: - She has a web series called "The 86th,"

18:00 - 18:01: and it's very funny.

18:01 - 18:04: - It features her as Remy, a neurotic semi-narcissist

18:04 - 18:06: who, across several episodes ranging four to eight minutes,

18:06 - 18:08: tries to win her breakup.

18:08 - 18:09: But social media and technology,

18:09 - 18:10: and again, her own neurosis,

18:10 - 18:12: keep thwarting every attempt.

18:12 - 18:14: Very on-brand for "Time Crisis."

18:14 - 18:15: So she's gonna be here soon.

18:15 - 18:18: Jake, we got a real heartwarming show.

18:18 - 18:21: A lot of "Time Crisis" is becoming kinda NPR.

18:21 - 18:24: A real heartwarming story out of Belgium.

18:24 - 18:27: - Oh, this actually ties in nicely with "Sweet Martha's."

18:27 - 18:28: - So going back to "Sweet Martha's,"

18:28 - 18:29: and we're talking about,

18:29 - 18:33: on "Time Crisis," we don't necessarily have an ethos,

18:33 - 18:37: but more or less, we really turn a critical eye

18:37 - 18:40: on big corporate food.

18:40 - 18:41: - Sure.

18:41 - 18:42: - And we like small business.

18:42 - 18:44: But we also have a critical eye on small business,

18:44 - 18:47: but similar to "Sweet Martha's" cookie jar,

18:47 - 18:49: which has built its own regional brand,

18:49 - 18:52: despite the disgusting harassment

18:52 - 18:55: of Otis Spunkmeyer and Mrs. Fields.

18:55 - 18:57: - And the Grandma's Corporation.

18:57 - 18:59: - We got a great email from Belgium.

18:59 - 19:01: I wanna read it.

19:01 - 19:01: "Hi, Jake.

19:01 - 19:02: "My name is Celine.

19:02 - 19:04: "I'm a Belgian TC fan.

19:04 - 19:06: "I love the show and your paintings."

19:06 - 19:07: - Woo! - Nice.

19:07 - 19:09: "I wanted to write you because I just read this article

19:09 - 19:12: "in the Belgian newspaper De Morgan

19:12 - 19:15: "about how Wendy's is prevented from expanding to Belgium

19:15 - 19:18: "and the Netherlands because one man is unwilling

19:18 - 19:20: "to change the name of his snack bar,

19:20 - 19:22: "which is also called Wendy's.

19:22 - 19:23: "He named it after his daughter,

19:23 - 19:26: "just like the founder of the American Wendy's."

19:26 - 19:27: She sends a picture of him.

19:27 - 19:29: He looks like kind of an average Joe.

19:29 - 19:33: There's literally a stain on his shirt in the picture.

19:33 - 19:34: He's got a little snack bar.

19:34 - 19:36: Looks like they got sandwiches, fish and chips, fries.

19:36 - 19:39: - It looks like it's in like an airport.

19:39 - 19:41: - It's got kind of an airport vibe.

19:41 - 19:43: So she says, "This year, Dunkin' Donuts, Pizza Hut,

19:43 - 19:45: "Taco Bell, Five Guys and TGI Friday

19:45 - 19:47: "have all opened up branches in the Netherlands.

19:47 - 19:48: "Obviously, Wendy's can't stay behind."

19:48 - 19:51: - Damn, all this year? - I know, brutal.

19:51 - 19:53: "But apparently, they've been in a legal fight

19:53 - 19:55: "for almost 20 years now with a small town snack bar owner

19:55 - 19:58: "who owns the rights to the name Wendy's.

19:58 - 20:00: "They might even be unable to expand to Europe at all

20:00 - 20:03: "because of the persistent snack bar owner.

20:03 - 20:06: "In response, Wendy's hired the international law firm

20:06 - 20:08: "Hooghroekmanegger.

20:08 - 20:10: "When confirmed with their lawyers,

20:10 - 20:11: "the snack bar owner said,

20:11 - 20:13: "'They look just like those CSI ladies.

20:13 - 20:14: "'They look too perfect.

20:14 - 20:16: "'Wendy's lost the lawsuit in February,

20:16 - 20:18: "'but they're appealing against it yet again.'"

20:18 - 20:19: This is a great email.

20:19 - 20:20: Thank you so much, Celine.

20:20 - 20:24: And it's nice to hear from a Belgian "Time Crisis" fan.

20:24 - 20:26: "Time Crisis," we gotta take sides.

20:26 - 20:30: I mean, Wendy's big corporation

20:30 - 20:32: versus the little Wendy's guy in Belgium?

20:32 - 20:33: Like, come on.

20:33 - 20:34: - Yeah.

20:34 - 20:36: I'm shocked that this is even an issue,

20:36 - 20:39: 'cause he owns one snack bar.

20:39 - 20:41: He doesn't own a chain of snack bars.

20:41 - 20:46: Like, you could, like, I could open a sandwich place

20:46 - 20:48: on, like, Sunset and call it Wendy's.

20:48 - 20:49: - No, I bet you couldn't.

20:49 - 20:49: - I bet I could.

20:49 - 20:50: - No, they wouldn't, no, man.

20:50 - 20:51: - No, come on.

20:51 - 20:52: - I'm surprised that you--

20:52 - 20:56: - If I call it Wendy's, okay,

20:56 - 20:58: his is Wendy's Fish and Chips.

20:58 - 21:00: So what if mine was like Wendy's--

21:00 - 21:02: - Dude, these big corporations are psycho.

21:02 - 21:04: - Sandwiches and wraps.

21:04 - 21:07: - I bet we could open a cookie stand called Wendy's

21:07 - 21:10: on La Cienega, and Wendy's would sue us.

21:10 - 21:11: They'd be like, "We don't like,

21:11 - 21:12: "no, these companies are crazy."

21:12 - 21:13: - Really, 'cause Wendy's is like,

21:13 - 21:16: that's a name that's general enough

21:16 - 21:17: that other companies could use.

21:17 - 21:18: Like, it's on McDonald's.

21:18 - 21:19: - One would think.

21:19 - 21:21: - And it's not, it's not even Arby's.

21:21 - 21:22: - But even McDonald's.

21:22 - 21:26: I bet if we opened a burger place called McDonald's

21:26 - 21:26: and we were like, "You know what?

21:26 - 21:28: "It's just a great Scottish name,"

21:28 - 21:29: they would sue us like crazy.

21:29 - 21:30: - Yeah, I believe that.

21:30 - 21:32: - No, because corporations have this insane power

21:32 - 21:34: where they can, like, keep a name like that.

21:34 - 21:37: So it's insane that, well, first of all,

21:37 - 21:38: I think it's cool.

21:38 - 21:42: Like, why should Wendy's just get to go all over the world

21:42 - 21:44: and trample this guy's rights?

21:44 - 21:45: - Yeah, absolutely.

21:45 - 21:47: - And they're coming with some big law firm.

21:47 - 21:49: - I love that quote about the CSI ladies.

21:49 - 21:51: - Yeah, and also, you know, there's country,

21:51 - 21:54: like Burger King in Australia is called Hungry Jacks.

21:54 - 21:55: - Okay, so they do the--

21:55 - 21:57: - Copyright law is funny.

21:57 - 21:58: - I hope this guy holds out.

21:58 - 22:00: - Yeah, I mean, if we have anybody

22:00 - 22:05: in Belgium or Netherlands listening, please support.

22:05 - 22:06: - Love to get him on the phone.

22:06 - 22:08: - Yeah, yeah, oh, we should try to get him on.

22:08 - 22:09: - That'd be great.

22:09 - 22:11: - That'd be an interesting talk.

22:11 - 22:12: - I also want to point out,

22:12 - 22:15: time crisis has always been harsh on Wendy's,

22:15 - 22:18: like the international corporation.

22:18 - 22:20: They have that weird thing about how fresh they are.

22:20 - 22:21: - Right.

22:21 - 22:23: - Also, really, Wendy's, like,

22:23 - 22:25: how many locations do you think Wendy's has globally?

22:25 - 22:26: It's thousands.

22:26 - 22:27: - Hold on.

22:27 - 22:29: - You're gonna guess.

22:29 - 22:31: - I'm gonna say, like, around 10,000.

22:31 - 22:35: - That's, I was gonna say, like, 2,500.

22:35 - 22:36: - No, no, way more than that.

22:36 - 22:37: - Really?

22:37 - 22:38: - I mean, McDonald's is like 30,000 locations.

22:38 - 22:40: - I know, but McDonald's is, like, insane.

22:40 - 22:42: - But Wendy's is no joke, dude.

22:42 - 22:45: - Can we get a number crunch on that?

22:45 - 22:46: - 6,100.

22:46 - 22:47: - Okay.

22:47 - 22:48: - Split the difference.

22:48 - 22:49: - Split the difference.

22:49 - 22:49: Okay, so I'm just saying,

22:49 - 22:52: you have 6,100 Wendy's in the world.

22:52 - 22:54: You really need it in Netherlands and Belgium?

22:54 - 22:57: Just chill, take the L.

22:57 - 22:58: In fact, I'm boycotting Wendy's

22:58 - 23:00: until they leave this man alone.

23:00 - 23:01: - I like that.

23:01 - 23:03: - Wendy's stay the hell out of the Flemish-speaking

23:03 - 23:04: part of the world.

23:04 - 23:07: - There's already enough burgers there, as is.

23:07 - 23:08: - Yeah, chill, Wendy's.

23:11 - 23:18: - Time Crisis on Beat One.

23:18 - 23:21: ♪ Everybody talking about one, two, three, four ♪

23:21 - 23:24: ♪ Everybody talking about one, two, three, four ♪

23:24 - 23:26: ♪ Everybody to the one, two, three, four ♪

23:26 - 23:29: ♪ Everybody talking about one, two, three ♪

23:29 - 23:34: ♪ Will you not walk a mile just to die ♪

23:35 - 23:37: ♪ Gonna learn what that door is for ♪

23:37 - 23:40: ♪ Gonna learn what that door is for ♪

23:40 - 23:42: ♪ Gonna learn what that door is for ♪

23:42 - 23:44: ♪ Gonna learn what that door is for ♪

23:44 - 23:49: ♪ Will you not walk a mile just to die, die, die, die, die ♪

23:49 - 23:55: ♪ Bad luck coming up, good luck is gone ♪

23:55 - 24:00: ♪ Bad luck coming up, good luck is gone ♪

24:00 - 24:05: ♪ And the mind that I speak of is a one-off ♪

24:05 - 24:29: ♪ Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee, Tommy ♪

24:29 - 24:32: ♪ Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee, Tommy ♪

24:45 - 24:47: ♪ Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee, Tommy ♪

24:47 - 24:50: ♪ They were all my friends, and they died ♪

24:50 - 24:53: - So we are now joined in the studio by Kazzy David.

24:53 - 24:55: Where'd you grow up, LA?

24:55 - 24:57: - I grew up in Brentwood, yeah.

24:57 - 24:58: - Oh, nice.

24:58 - 25:02: - A very enclosed childhood.

25:02 - 25:03: - What year were you born?

25:03 - 25:04: - 1994.

25:04 - 25:06: - Ooh, Brentwood '94.

25:06 - 25:07: - Hot.

25:07 - 25:08: - What was going on then?

25:08 - 25:09: - What, OJ Simpson, right?

25:09 - 25:10: - Brentwood '94.

25:10 - 25:11: - OJ Simpson.

25:11 - 25:12: - When was OJ?

25:12 - 25:13: - '94, bro.

25:13 - 25:14: - That was '94.

25:14 - 25:18: - Were you born before or after the murder?

25:18 - 25:20: - I know so little about this murder.

25:20 - 25:23: I have no idea when I was born around that time.

25:23 - 25:26: - Wait, what month were you born?

25:26 - 25:27: - May.

25:27 - 25:27: I don't know when it was.

25:27 - 25:28: - Just before the murders.

25:28 - 25:29: - Yeah, you guys can figure that out.

25:29 - 25:32: - The murders were in June of '94.

25:32 - 25:33: - So your parents are at home in Brentwood.

25:33 - 25:34: - Yeah, they have a month.

25:34 - 25:35: - With their baby daughter.

25:35 - 25:36: - Month old.

25:36 - 25:39: - Flip on the TV, their next door neighbor

25:39 - 25:42: is ripping down the freeway in a Ford Bronco.

25:42 - 25:46: And an earthquake the same year?

25:46 - 25:46: Wow.

25:46 - 25:48: - And the riots years before that.

25:48 - 25:49: - Yeah.

25:49 - 25:52: - So what, is there a lot of--

25:52 - 25:54: - Talking early, mid '90s LA history at this point.

25:54 - 25:55: - It was a crazy time.

25:55 - 25:57: - Is there a lot of fast food out in Brentwood?

25:57 - 25:59: Obviously that's an affluent community.

25:59 - 26:01: There's a lot of fancy restaurants.

26:01 - 26:02: You got the Country Mart.

26:02 - 26:04: - Yeah, the Country Mart's the (beep)

26:04 - 26:07: - They're not gonna have a Wendy's at the Country Mart.

26:07 - 26:09: But, so what do you have out there?

26:09 - 26:10: There's like a soup plantation, right?

26:10 - 26:12: - There's a soup plantation.

26:12 - 26:14: I think there might be like a Baja Fresh.

26:14 - 26:16: - Is there like a main drag in Brentwood?

26:16 - 26:19: - Yeah, there's San Vicente, there's Montana,

26:19 - 26:21: but then you're getting into Santa Monica.

26:21 - 26:23: - I don't know this area at all.

26:23 - 26:25: - But I don't eat fast food.

26:25 - 26:26: I have never had.

26:26 - 26:27: - Never? - No.

26:27 - 26:28: - Never? - No.

26:28 - 26:29: - So no fast food?

26:29 - 26:30: - None.

26:30 - 26:31: - I'm intrigued.

26:31 - 26:32: - Well, so what about, how old are you now?

26:32 - 26:34: - I'm 23, it took me.

26:34 - 26:36: - Have you been to Del Taco?

26:36 - 26:36: - No.

26:36 - 26:37: - Have you been to Taco Bell?

26:37 - 26:38: - Wow, you grew up in Southern California?

26:38 - 26:39: - No.

26:39 - 26:40: - In-N-Out?

26:40 - 26:43: - I had In-N-Out maybe twice.

26:43 - 26:45: - Wow, McDonald's?

26:45 - 26:46: - No.

26:46 - 26:47: - Not once?

26:47 - 26:47: - You've never had McDonald's in your life?

26:47 - 26:49: - I had fries like one time.

26:49 - 26:50: - And they were somebody else's fries?

26:50 - 26:51: - Yeah.

26:51 - 26:52: - Wow.

26:52 - 26:55: Because I also feel like I grew up in kind of a crunchy,

26:55 - 26:59: health food oriented household, but I wanted it more.

26:59 - 27:01: - It makes me feel so sick.

27:01 - 27:03: - That's fair, good for you.

27:03 - 27:05: - And my parents just terrified me about it.

27:05 - 27:08: They just scared me so badly that I never want it.

27:08 - 27:10: Yeah, I'm so scared to eat anything that's bad.

27:10 - 27:13: - So do you remember feeling the draw to McDonald's?

27:13 - 27:16: Like your friends were hitting McDonald's in high school,

27:16 - 27:17: and you were just like,

27:17 - 27:19: "My parents scared the (beep) out of me."

27:19 - 27:20: - I think there was like one thing

27:20 - 27:21: that I was really jealous of,

27:21 - 27:24: and I would just like be so upset that I didn't have it,

27:24 - 27:26: and it was the frosting with the sprinkles

27:26 - 27:28: that you dip, dips, dip.

27:28 - 27:30: - Oh yeah, fun dip? - Oh, that's nasty.

27:30 - 27:31: - Those were good.

27:31 - 27:32: - Right, and that's like pure sugar.

27:32 - 27:35: - That was like, "Please mom, get me these sticks."

27:35 - 27:36: - But when you're like a senior in high school at lunch,

27:36 - 27:38: and kids have cars, and they're like,

27:38 - 27:39: "We're going to McDonald's."

27:39 - 27:41: And you'd be like, "Guys, my parents are gonna kill me.

27:41 - 27:43: "I'm just gonna get high in the parking lot."

27:43 - 27:45: - Yeah, that was pretty much.

27:45 - 27:46: - Or you were just like, "I'm not interested."

27:46 - 27:48: - I was kind of like, "You guys are gross.

27:48 - 27:50: "You shouldn't be going to McDonald's."

27:50 - 27:51: - Look at you, God.

27:51 - 27:53: - I'm grossed out by you.

27:53 - 27:54: - That's advanced.

27:54 - 27:56: - I don't need McDonald's to have fun.

27:56 - 27:58: And honestly, I feel bad for you guys.

27:58 - 28:02: ♪ It could be a spoon full of diamond ♪

28:02 - 28:06: ♪ Could be a spoon full of gold ♪

28:06 - 28:10: ♪ Just a little spoon of your precious love ♪

28:10 - 28:14: ♪ It would have satisfied my soul ♪

28:14 - 28:18: ♪ Meaning lies about a little ♪

28:18 - 28:22: ♪ Some of them cries about a little ♪

28:22 - 28:27: ♪ Some of them dies about a little ♪

28:27 - 28:31: ♪ Everything about a spoon full ♪

28:31 - 28:36: ♪ It's spoon, it's spoon ♪

28:36 - 28:45: ♪ It could be a spoon full of coffee ♪

28:45 - 28:49: ♪ It could be a spoon full of tea ♪

28:49 - 28:53: ♪ Just a little spoon of your precious love ♪

28:53 - 28:57: ♪ Oh, well, that's good enough for me ♪

28:57 - 29:01: ♪ Meaning lies about a little ♪

29:01 - 29:05: ♪ Some of them cries about a little ♪

29:05 - 29:10: ♪ Some of them dies about a little ♪

29:10 - 29:14: ♪ Everything about a spoon full ♪

29:14 - 29:19: ♪ It's spoon, it's spoon ♪

29:19 - 29:24: ♪ It's spoon, it's spoon ♪

29:24 - 29:34: ♪ It's spoon full ♪

29:34 - 29:44: ♪ It could be a spoon full of water ♪

29:44 - 29:49: ♪ Save you from the desert sand ♪

29:49 - 29:52: ♪ But one spoon of liquor might put a fire ♪

29:52 - 29:56: ♪ To save you from another man ♪

29:56 - 30:01: ♪ Meaning lies about a little ♪

30:01 - 30:05: ♪ Some of them cries about a little ♪

30:05 - 30:10: ♪ Some of them dies about a little ♪

30:10 - 30:14: ♪ Everything about a spoon full ♪

30:14 - 30:16: ♪ It's spoon, it's spoon ♪

30:16 - 30:18: - Love your web series.

30:18 - 30:22: I did notice one thing that prominently in one episode,

30:22 - 30:23: there's ice cream.

30:23 - 30:24: - Yeah.

30:24 - 30:25: - So you could just go get ice cream.

30:25 - 30:27: - I like ice cream.

30:27 - 30:29: Ice cream I'll do, but the ice cream we got

30:29 - 30:32: is like very organic, which embarrassingly enough,

30:32 - 30:35: it's like the healthiest ice cream you can eat.

30:35 - 30:36: - Well, what's it called?

30:36 - 30:37: - Sweet Rose.

30:37 - 30:38: - They use some special sugar or something?

30:38 - 30:41: - No, it's like, it's regular sugar and dairy,

30:41 - 30:44: but it's like all their ingredients

30:44 - 30:45: are from like the farmer's market.

30:45 - 30:46: - Right, local.

30:46 - 30:49: - I'm so LA and annoying, so.

30:49 - 30:50: - No, that's fine.

30:50 - 30:52: Well, one thing that I liked about it,

30:52 - 30:54: the kind of like thing that you point out in that episode,

30:54 - 30:55: and I've thought about this before,

30:55 - 31:00: in this episode, your character gets ice cream on a cone

31:00 - 31:03: and the two people she's with get it in a cup

31:03 - 31:05: and she's going through a tough time in her life

31:05 - 31:06: and she's saying like,

31:06 - 31:07: "You guys couldn't have just gotten a cone

31:07 - 31:09: in solidarity with me."

31:09 - 31:10: And I've thought about that a lot.

31:10 - 31:13: It is funny, like when you go get ice cream with people,

31:13 - 31:15: 'cause already in our culture,

31:15 - 31:16: we know that there's something shameful

31:16 - 31:18: about going to get ice cream.

31:18 - 31:19: We know that we're doing something bad

31:19 - 31:21: when we go to get ice cream together.

31:21 - 31:22: - Right.

31:22 - 31:23: - And so it's a little bit--

31:23 - 31:24: - Bummer.

31:24 - 31:25: - No, I'm just saying,

31:25 - 31:28: like we live in a very health conscious culture

31:28 - 31:30: where it's hard to just enjoy ice cream.

31:30 - 31:33: Like we know we're being, that's how I feel.

31:33 - 31:35: You know you're being bad, but it's kind of like,

31:35 - 31:37: so if you're going, the whole experience of ice cream

31:37 - 31:39: does involve getting a cone,

31:39 - 31:41: which you expertly pointed out.

31:41 - 31:43: And it's funny if you like make a plan to get ice cream

31:43 - 31:44: and then you get the cone

31:44 - 31:45: and then somebody else just gets a cup.

31:45 - 31:46: - Right.

31:46 - 31:48: - It's a little bit like,

31:48 - 31:49: I thought we were gonna rob this bank together.

31:49 - 31:50: - Right.

31:50 - 31:51: - Yeah.

31:51 - 31:52: - I think that's with so much stuff though,

31:52 - 31:54: 'cause there's sometimes where you're out for dinner

31:54 - 31:56: with friends and you're like,

31:56 - 31:58: "Does anyone else wanna get a drink?"

31:58 - 31:59: And if they don't wanna get a drink,

31:59 - 32:01: you're like, "Okay, thanks.

32:01 - 32:02: I guess I won't get a drink."

32:02 - 32:04: But it's not their fault that you can't drink,

32:04 - 32:06: but it is at the same time.

32:06 - 32:07: - Yeah, I just ignore that.

32:07 - 32:07: I just get a drink.

32:07 - 32:09: (both laughing)

32:09 - 32:12: - You know, it's also weird when people,

32:12 - 32:15: some people feel very strongly about

32:15 - 32:17: they don't wanna eat if the other person's not eating.

32:17 - 32:18: - Right.

32:18 - 32:20: That's a weird girl thing.

32:20 - 32:20: Do you guys do that?

32:20 - 32:21: - Do you mean if the food comes before

32:21 - 32:22: the other food comes? - Some guys.

32:22 - 32:25: - Or just like, "I already had lunch, I'll sit with you."

32:25 - 32:28: - Yeah, because I feel like the whole thing is

32:28 - 32:30: we're just getting together to chop it up.

32:30 - 32:32: We're just getting together to have a good time.

32:32 - 32:35: Like, I don't know, so Jake, if you...

32:35 - 32:36: - Okay.

32:36 - 32:38: - If you hit me up, if you were in my neighborhood,

32:38 - 32:40: and you said, "Hey man, I'm in the hood."

32:40 - 32:41: - Starving.

32:41 - 32:42: - Starving.

32:42 - 32:44: Wanna crush a burrito with me.

32:44 - 32:47: And I say, "You know what, Jake?

32:47 - 32:50: I already cooked myself a nice organic stir fry at home,

32:50 - 32:52: but I'd love to come sit with you at the burrito place."

32:52 - 32:54: - Chipotle.

32:54 - 32:55: - Yeah, Chipotle.

32:55 - 32:57: Would you be like, "Sweet, meet you there."

32:57 - 33:00: Or would you be like, "Forget it."

33:00 - 33:02: - I'd probably be like, "Forget it."

33:02 - 33:03: - Really?

33:03 - 33:05: - I'd wanna hang, but I wouldn't wanna like,

33:05 - 33:09: subject you to like, sitting at the Chipotle with me.

33:09 - 33:13: I'm picturing the Chipotle on Beverly and La Brea.

33:13 - 33:14: - Melrose and La Brea.

33:14 - 33:15: - Okay, Mel, sorry.

33:15 - 33:17: Melrose and La Brea, Chipotle.

33:17 - 33:19: I'm like, "Dude, I'm like 10 minutes out.

33:19 - 33:21: Roll at me.

33:21 - 33:22: Let's meet.

33:22 - 33:24: I'm gonna sit down and eat a burrito in front of you."

33:24 - 33:26: - You don't want me to come to the Chipotle

33:26 - 33:27: 'cause I already ate?

33:27 - 33:28: - It depends.

33:28 - 33:31: Like, it's honestly like a really hard call.

33:33 - 33:36: - I think it depends on like, what I'm dealing with.

33:36 - 33:38: - I just wanna add one wrinkle to the equation.

33:38 - 33:40: You're working that day.

33:40 - 33:42: You're sweating it out on the job site all morning.

33:42 - 33:43: - Okay.

33:43 - 33:45: - You have 45 minutes for lunch.

33:45 - 33:46: We haven't seen each other in a few weeks

33:46 - 33:48: 'cause you've been at all these weddings.

33:48 - 33:50: And then you hit me up.

33:50 - 33:53: I got a tight 45 to leave the job site,

33:53 - 33:54: hit Chipotle and get back to the job site.

33:54 - 33:56: - I love this job site.

33:56 - 33:59: - Do you wanna link up?

33:59 - 34:01: And I say, "Absolutely, man.

34:01 - 34:03: I'd love to see you in Ketchup."

34:03 - 34:07: Although, I'll be honest, I did just go to Sweet Greens

34:07 - 34:09: and eat a kind of kale thing.

34:09 - 34:11: - Kale Caesar.

34:11 - 34:14: - Are you gonna literally just slam the door shut?

34:14 - 34:16: We're not gonna see each other otherwise.

34:16 - 34:17: - I am.

34:17 - 34:18: I'm gonna slam it.

34:18 - 34:19: I'm gonna slam it.

34:19 - 34:20: - Wow.

34:20 - 34:21: - I know we're trying to get away from this,

34:21 - 34:22: but I actually thought of the example

34:22 - 34:24: that is better than yours.

34:24 - 34:25: - Okay.

34:25 - 34:28: - So you and your friend both have lunch together

34:28 - 34:31: and you get the same lunch, like the same amount of food.

34:31 - 34:33: And then two hours later,

34:33 - 34:36: you're kind of in the mood for a snack.

34:36 - 34:38: And you're like, "I think we should get a snack.

34:38 - 34:39: Don't you think?"

34:39 - 34:42: And they're like, "No, I'm not really hungry."

34:42 - 34:43: - Ooh.

34:43 - 34:44: - Okay.

34:44 - 34:46: - Then you're like, "That sucks."

34:46 - 34:48: - Because you guys are just spending all day together?

34:48 - 34:51: - Because you would feel like we had the same amount of food.

34:51 - 34:53: Why am I hungry and you're not?

34:53 - 34:54: - Oh.

34:54 - 34:57: So it's a full day hang.

34:57 - 34:59: - Yeah, like why are we not both wanting a snack right now?

34:59 - 35:02: I mean, that's almost like a couple situation.

35:02 - 35:02: - Maybe.

35:02 - 35:04: - Like a couple, like, you know,

35:04 - 35:05: eat lunch with your girlfriend, it's the same thing.

35:05 - 35:06: And then two hours later, you're just like.

35:06 - 35:09: - Yeah, but in a couple, you know each other so well

35:09 - 35:10: that I don't know.

35:10 - 35:11: - Okay, so there's less.

35:11 - 35:13: - It's more of a competitive friend thing.

35:13 - 35:14: - Right, right.

35:14 - 35:15: - Yeah, in a couple, it's not gonna be.

35:15 - 35:16: - Okay.

35:16 - 35:17: - If you're with your girlfriend, you're like,

35:17 - 35:18: "I really could go for a Modelo."

35:18 - 35:19: She's gonna, "Of course you can."

35:19 - 35:20: - Yeah, copy that.

35:20 - 35:22: ♪ I hear some people ♪

35:22 - 35:27: ♪ They're talking me down ♪

35:27 - 35:29: ♪ Swing off my name ♪

35:29 - 35:32: ♪ Passing 'round ♪

35:32 - 35:37: ♪ They don't mention the happy times ♪

35:37 - 35:40: ♪ They do their thing ♪

35:40 - 35:44: ♪ I do mine ♪

35:44 - 35:49: ♪ Ooh baby, that's hard to change ♪

35:49 - 35:54: ♪ I can't tell them how to feel ♪

35:55 - 36:00: ♪ Some get strong, some get strange ♪

36:00 - 36:05: ♪ Sooner or later it all gets real ♪

36:05 - 36:10: ♪ Walk on, walk on ♪

36:10 - 36:14: ♪ Walk on, walk on ♪

36:14 - 36:16: ♪ Walk on ♪

36:16 - 36:34: ♪ I remember the good old days ♪

36:34 - 36:38: ♪ Stayed up all night ♪

36:38 - 36:40: ♪ Getting crazed ♪

36:40 - 36:45: ♪ And the money was not so good ♪

36:45 - 36:51: ♪ But we still did the best we could ♪

36:51 - 36:57: ♪ Ooh baby, that's hard to change ♪

36:57 - 37:02: ♪ I can't tell them how to feel ♪

37:02 - 37:08: ♪ Some get strong, some get strange ♪

37:09 - 37:14: ♪ Sooner or later it all gets real ♪

37:14 - 37:17: ♪ Walk on, walk on ♪

37:17 - 37:22: - So Kazzy, as we said earlier,

37:22 - 37:25: Seinfeld 2000 is what brought you to Time Crisis.

37:25 - 37:26: So we have him on the mic.

37:26 - 37:27: What's up, Seinfeld?

37:27 - 37:28: - Hey, what's up?

37:28 - 37:34: - So you guys met via Instagram DMs.

37:34 - 37:35: - Yeah.

37:35 - 37:38: The most millennial way to meet someone.

37:38 - 37:39: - Extreme millennial.

37:39 - 37:40: Slid into my DMs.

37:40 - 37:43: - Which is probably why you thought I was 15, 14 years old.

37:43 - 37:44: - Yeah, you were 16.

37:44 - 37:45: - Seinfeld 2000 is a man.

37:45 - 37:47: We won't say much beyond that.

37:47 - 37:48: (laughing)

37:48 - 37:49: - He's a full grown man.

37:49 - 37:51: - He's a full grown man.

37:51 - 37:51: And tall.

37:51 - 37:53: - Good looking too.

37:53 - 37:54: - And handsome.

37:54 - 37:54: - Oh, absolutely.

37:54 - 37:56: - Okay, so this kind of begs the question,

37:56 - 37:59: obviously Seinfeld must have loomed large in your life

37:59 - 38:01: with your father being the co-creator.

38:01 - 38:03: But is it a situation where people assume that,

38:03 - 38:06: wow, you must have grown up so in the mix with Seinfeld?

38:06 - 38:08: I guess by the time Seinfeld was off the air,

38:08 - 38:09: what, you four?

38:09 - 38:11: - Yeah, I was so young.

38:11 - 38:14: I mean, there's like pictures of me as a baby

38:14 - 38:15: on the set and stuff,

38:15 - 38:18: but I don't remember anything because I was so little.

38:18 - 38:22: But I didn't know the impact till I really went to college.

38:22 - 38:25: - And people were like, whoa, that's your dad?

38:25 - 38:27: - Well, I went to basically like screenwriting school

38:27 - 38:28: for TV.

38:28 - 38:31: So it was like in every class and I was like, whoa,

38:31 - 38:32: this is so weird.

38:32 - 38:34: I guess I'm an idiot, but.

38:34 - 38:34: - Wait, you did?

38:34 - 38:36: Wait, that's a thing when you're 18?

38:36 - 38:37: Could a?

38:37 - 38:40: - Well, Emerson has the major in screenwriting for TV.

38:40 - 38:41: - Gotcha.

38:41 - 38:42: - When it came up,

38:42 - 38:44: would kind of the whole class look at you kind of thing?

38:44 - 38:46: - I hoped most people didn't know about it,

38:46 - 38:49: but some people did and some people would look at me.

38:49 - 38:51: But it was awkward.

38:51 - 38:53: - I can imagine this situation would be.

38:53 - 38:54: Is it awkward?

38:54 - 38:56: 'Cause you know, Seinfeld 2000,

38:56 - 38:58: as a major Seinfeld enthusiast,

38:58 - 39:00: on the show many times,

39:00 - 39:04: another beloved 90s sitcom, "Friends" comes up

39:04 - 39:05: and I can see that.

39:05 - 39:06: Yeah, exactly.

39:06 - 39:10: - The way he, even just the word "Friends",

39:10 - 39:11: he just bristles at it.

39:11 - 39:13: He really dislikes it.

39:13 - 39:14: He's agnostic on "Frasier",

39:14 - 39:16: but "Friends" really bothers him.

39:16 - 39:18: - That really makes me so happy though,

39:18 - 39:19: I have to tell you.

39:19 - 39:21: Because there's a lot of people that don't even know

39:21 - 39:23: that it was a copy.

39:23 - 39:24: - Yeah, I know.

39:24 - 39:26: - There's people that aren't even aware of it.

39:26 - 39:27: - Nah.

39:27 - 39:27: - Wait, wait, wait.

39:27 - 39:28: - It's really upsetting.

39:28 - 39:30: - I think I might be one of these people.

39:30 - 39:32: "Friends" is a copy of "Seinfeld"?

39:32 - 39:34: - How many shows were in a New York apartment

39:34 - 39:35: before "Seinfeld"?

39:35 - 39:36: - I'll tell you.

39:36 - 39:38: - Family, domestic situation.

39:38 - 39:38: - "Money Moaners".

39:38 - 39:41: - "Friends" wasn't the only one that copied it also.

39:41 - 39:42: - Oh right, 'cause it wasn't a family show.

39:42 - 39:44: - But there's so many factors to it.

39:44 - 39:48: I mean, they could easily have just had Chandler and Joey

39:48 - 39:51: live a door down and it had to be like right across.

39:51 - 39:52: Like that's the exact same.

39:52 - 39:54: I mean, there's actual shots,

39:54 - 39:57: like cinematic shots that were taken.

39:57 - 40:00: So it goes so far, but I'm like so passionate about it

40:00 - 40:02: because I can't really talk about it

40:02 - 40:05: 'cause people are like, "Okay, 'cause yeah."

40:05 - 40:07: - Right, but you feel like you looked at this,

40:07 - 40:09: you looked at the evidence dispassionately

40:09 - 40:12: and you realize that this is the case.

40:12 - 40:14: - It couldn't be more obvious.

40:14 - 40:16: - I feel like tonally, they're worlds apart.

40:16 - 40:18: I mean, yes, they're both set in New York

40:18 - 40:19: with people in their apartments.

40:19 - 40:22: First of all, the "Friends" people are in their 20s.

40:22 - 40:26: The "Seinfeld" characters are in their late 20s, 30s.

40:26 - 40:27: - See a massive difference.

40:27 - 40:28: - No, no, no, no, no, no.

40:28 - 40:29: Not to split hairs, not splitting hairs.

40:29 - 40:32: Totally couldn't be farther apart.

40:32 - 40:33: "Friends" is sincere.

40:33 - 40:35: - I mean, you're not gonna be able to write the same way.

40:35 - 40:37: That would be impossible.

40:37 - 40:38: But I mean, I think they were like,

40:38 - 40:40: "Oh, that show did really well.

40:40 - 40:42: "Let's make the exact same plot,

40:42 - 40:43: "but we'll be writing it."

40:43 - 40:45: So it'll be, I mean, that's not,

40:45 - 40:47: I don't know if that's exactly what they thought,

40:47 - 40:48: but it's like- - Who created "Friends"?

40:48 - 40:52: - Someone named Marty Kaufman and then two other people.

40:52 - 40:53: Crane, I remember seeing in a credit.

40:53 - 40:55: I love "Friends," by the way.

40:55 - 40:55: I watch "Friends" all the time.

40:55 - 40:56: - Okay, you're not mad at it.

40:56 - 40:57: Okay, that's important to point out.

40:57 - 41:00: - I watch it all the time, but I know it copied.

41:00 - 41:02: - Is there a Kazzy Kaufman?

41:03 - 41:04: Have you guys ever crossed paths?

41:04 - 41:07: (all laughing)

41:07 - 41:09: - No, that would be very funny.

41:09 - 41:11: - So "Seinfeld 2000,"

41:11 - 41:14: maybe some "Time Crisis" listeners

41:14 - 41:16: might primarily know you

41:16 - 41:18: as you're the person who runs "Time Crisis 2000,"

41:18 - 41:20: the account, you have your Twitter account,

41:20 - 41:21: but more than ever,

41:21 - 41:23: you have this thriving Instagram account.

41:23 - 41:25: - Yeah, it's booming, for sure.

41:25 - 41:28: - And before you came on board

41:28 - 41:32: as one of a beloved member of the team,

41:32 - 41:33: back when you and I were kind of more,

41:33 - 41:35: I guess, what you'd call frenemies,

41:35 - 41:38: you were this wild Twitter account that I really liked.

41:38 - 41:39: And we've had our ups and downs,

41:39 - 41:41: but we kind of ended up in a good place.

41:41 - 41:41: And at this point,

41:41 - 41:45: not only do I consider our beef squashed,

41:45 - 41:49: I really, I feel defensive of you and "Seinfeld 2000."

41:49 - 41:52: I've noticed because Instagram,

41:52 - 41:55: just one more way that the social media

41:55 - 41:56: can toy with our emotions,

41:56 - 42:00: they've gotten the explore column on Instagram,

42:00 - 42:03: whatever they did to the algorithm, it's bananas.

42:03 - 42:05: I'm trying to pay attention to something.

42:05 - 42:07: I'm like, "Let me close this (beep)."

42:07 - 42:09: And then it's literally, I've got it open again,

42:09 - 42:10: and I have no memory of opening it again.

42:10 - 42:11: You ever have that experience?

42:11 - 42:14: You close Instagram, and you're looking at it again?

42:14 - 42:17: And increasingly, I don't even look at my feed,

42:17 - 42:18: so I don't even look at what's happening

42:18 - 42:19: with my friends and loved ones.

42:19 - 42:21: I'm just looking at this,

42:21 - 42:22: do I interact with accounts similar to this one?

42:22 - 42:23: So I'll show you this one.

42:23 - 42:25: So anyway. - I never look at that.

42:25 - 42:26: - Don't look, man. - Yeah.

42:26 - 42:27: - It's gonna suck you in. - You'll never be able to stop.

42:27 - 42:28: - Jeez, all right.

42:28 - 42:30: - Because I follow "Seinfeld 2000,"

42:30 - 42:32: I'm getting all these "Seinfeld" accounts,

42:32 - 42:34: and increasingly, I'm looking at some of them,

42:34 - 42:36: and I'm like, "Is this 'Seinfeld 2000'?"

42:36 - 42:38: 'Cause it's this whole booming industry,

42:38 - 42:40: and I feel like you're the OG.

42:40 - 42:41: - Yes. - Is it fair to say

42:41 - 42:43: that you're the first person

42:43 - 42:45: who ever took an image from the news

42:45 - 42:47: and then did a slow zoom

42:47 - 42:50: and played the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" music?

42:50 - 42:52: - Well, here's the thing about that.

42:52 - 42:53: You know when you can have an idea,

42:53 - 42:55: and you think it's an independent idea,

42:55 - 42:57: and then concurrently, there's been another idea?

42:57 - 42:59: - Like Edison and Tesla. - Yes.

42:59 - 43:01: - Exactly, or-- - "Seinfeld" is French.

43:01 - 43:02: - To quote, right? - Maybe.

43:02 - 43:04: - It's Ziggy.

43:04 - 43:05: People have pointed out to me

43:05 - 43:09: that this apparently was a thing called the "frolic effect"

43:09 - 43:11: that was a thing on YouTube.

43:11 - 43:13: But as far as I'm concerned,

43:13 - 43:14: I kinda took it to another level.

43:14 - 43:18: - If you thought of it yourself, you got the credit for it.

43:18 - 43:20: - And I feel like he brought it to Twitter

43:20 - 43:21: and to Instagram. - True.

43:21 - 43:23: - Like you did the first Chris Christie one

43:23 - 43:25: standing next to Trump, right? - Yes.

43:25 - 43:25: - Yeah. - That's hilarious.

43:25 - 43:29: - That was a pivotal moment in that meme.

43:29 - 43:30: - "Seinfeld 2000" is so cool, by the way,

43:30 - 43:33: 'cause it actually isn't just like repeating memes.

43:33 - 43:35: Like it's original.

43:35 - 43:36: It's an original concept.

43:36 - 43:39: - And sometimes people think that these memes are repeated,

43:39 - 43:40: or, "Oh, you took that from me?"

43:40 - 43:42: No, it's all stuff that I come up with.

43:42 - 43:43: I try to be original.

43:43 - 43:45: So thank you for recognizing that.

43:45 - 43:47: - I have to ask what your guys' beef was about, though,

43:47 - 43:49: 'cause that was like a quick mention.

43:49 - 43:50: - Oh, yeah. - I'm so curious.

43:50 - 43:52: - That's true, and sometimes "Crisis" listeners,

43:52 - 43:55: depending when they got on board, might not remember.

43:55 - 43:58: And maybe you can chime in here.

43:58 - 44:02: This guy, for years, has this deeply held belief

44:02 - 44:04: that "Seinfeld" could come back on TV.

44:04 - 44:06: He started out guessing about what "Seinfeld"

44:06 - 44:08: would be like if it was on TV,

44:08 - 44:10: and then eventually a corner was turned

44:10 - 44:12: where he wasn't just saying,

44:12 - 44:15: imagining a modern "Seinfeld."

44:15 - 44:17: He truly started to believe that it might happen.

44:17 - 44:20: And I just think there's no evidence to support that.

44:20 - 44:21: And I would sometimes say to him,

44:21 - 44:22: "You know, this is a pipe dream."

44:22 - 44:23: And the way he would react,

44:23 - 44:26: it would be as if I told him

44:26 - 44:27: that Donald Trump wasn't president.

44:27 - 44:28: - Right. - You know, he'd act like--

44:28 - 44:29: - Or it's like a 9/11 conspiracy.

44:29 - 44:32: - Did we ever think that Donald Trump would be president?

44:32 - 44:34: No, and yet here we are.

44:34 - 44:35: - That's a very good argument.

44:35 - 44:38: - Okay, I picked a terrible example.

44:38 - 44:40: Okay, but my point is that the way

44:40 - 44:44: that you would talk about it made me feel unheard.

44:44 - 44:46: And the way that you jumped down my throat about it--

44:46 - 44:47: - That is so funny.

44:47 - 44:50: - You jumped down my throat about it, and I just--

44:50 - 44:52: - Guys, guys, you know, we're cool now,

44:52 - 44:53: and that's really all that matters.

44:53 - 44:56: ♪ I'll leave my words, I swear I will ♪

44:56 - 44:58: ♪ If I am wrong, I'll pay the bill ♪

44:58 - 45:01: ♪ No God for me, I'd look, but still ♪

45:01 - 45:06: ♪ There's one here up my sleeve ♪

45:06 - 45:08: ♪ Believe I'm wrong, I'll never win ♪

45:08 - 45:11: ♪ But I've been around when times are thin ♪

45:11 - 45:13: ♪ Will I miss you, I bet I will ♪

45:13 - 45:17: ♪ I might even lose some sleep ♪

46:33 - 46:38: ♪ I'll leave my words, I swear I will ♪

46:38 - 46:40: ♪ If I am wrong, I'll pay the bill ♪

46:40 - 46:43: ♪ No God for me, I'd look, but still ♪

46:43 - 46:48: ♪ One here up my sleeve ♪

46:48 - 46:50: ♪ I'll leave my words if I am wrong ♪

46:50 - 46:52: ♪ You can count when I sing my song ♪

46:52 - 46:55: ♪ You don't hate me, you hate my tongue ♪

46:55 - 46:57: ♪ You won't even read my will ♪

46:57 - 47:00: ♪ Won't even read my will ♪

47:00 - 47:03: ♪ Won't even read my will ♪

47:06 - 47:18: ♪ Leave my words, leave my words ♪

47:18 - 47:22: ♪ Leave my words, leave my words ♪

47:25 - 47:47: - Time Crisis.

47:47 - 47:49: - With Ezra Keenan.

47:49 - 47:50: - Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

47:50 - 47:52: - Peace one.

47:52 - 47:53: - I have another question. - Yeah.

47:53 - 47:55: - You kind of have an accent.

47:55 - 47:55: - I have an accent?

47:55 - 47:57: - Yeah, where are you from?

47:57 - 47:59: - Okay, this is interesting because my whole life

47:59 - 48:03: people have said to me that I have an accent.

48:03 - 48:04: So I was born in New York,

48:04 - 48:07: but I grew up in New Jersey, Northern New Jersey.

48:07 - 48:10: So my entire life I've been in the Northern New Jersey,

48:10 - 48:11: New York. - That's not the accent.

48:11 - 48:13: - Metro area. - I think that wasn't it.

48:13 - 48:15: - I remember being in high school,

48:15 - 48:18: and I think I went on a trip with a band trip,

48:18 - 48:23: and we were with another regional New Jersey

48:23 - 48:25: high school band, and we were like in a hotel.

48:25 - 48:26: And I remember-- - Band.

48:26 - 48:28: - You have an accent.

48:28 - 48:29: Band, band.

48:29 - 48:31: - I think it's unique to Ezra.

48:31 - 48:33: - It's cool, no, I really like it.

48:33 - 48:33: I was just wondering if it's from somewhere.

48:33 - 48:35: - I don't know, I've thought about it a lot.

48:35 - 48:37: Like my parents, I think,

48:37 - 48:40: wait Jake, have you chatted with my parents before?

48:40 - 48:41: - I don't think so.

48:41 - 48:44: - Like my dad's from the Bronx, my mom grew up in Jersey.

48:44 - 48:45: My thing, my friends think of them

48:45 - 48:48: as having New York accents, kind of.

48:48 - 48:49: But you don't hear this as a New York,

48:49 - 48:51: New Jersey accent. - My first thought

48:51 - 48:54: was that you might have been maybe a little Norwegian.

48:54 - 48:56: - Whoa, wow, didn't see that coming.

48:56 - 48:57: - Just a little. - Deep.

48:57 - 48:59: - Like slightly.

48:59 - 49:00: - Like not American.

49:00 - 49:04: - No, I mean yes, but you have a little ting.

49:04 - 49:07: - What's like the Brentwood accent?

49:07 - 49:10: - You know, I was talking about this with someone recently,

49:10 - 49:13: like where accents originate,

49:13 - 49:15: and everyone was just like, oh yeah,

49:15 - 49:18: like California's the only one without an accent.

49:18 - 49:21: But that's just because other people have different accents.

49:21 - 49:22: So I guess it is an accent.

49:22 - 49:24: - I'm trying to imagine, if I just heard your voice,

49:24 - 49:25: didn't know anything about you,

49:25 - 49:27: would I think this is California?

49:27 - 49:28: You know what's funny about Jake?

49:28 - 49:30: Jake was born and raised in Connecticut,

49:30 - 49:31: John Mayer's home state.

49:31 - 49:36: And I feel like Jake spent so much time on the West Coast,

49:36 - 49:38: 'cause he went to college in Portland,

49:38 - 49:40: lived in SF for a while, LA,

49:40 - 49:43: that Jake, and Jake's whole vibe is so West Coast

49:43 - 49:47: that I feel like your cadence and your language is very,

49:47 - 49:50: maybe not LA, but certainly West Coast.

49:50 - 49:52: But that might be more vocabulary.

49:52 - 49:53: - Yeah, I don't know.

49:53 - 49:55: - At your school, would people use the phrase

49:55 - 49:56: crush a burrito?

49:56 - 49:58: - No.

49:58 - 49:58: - Gnarly?

49:58 - 50:00: Did they say buff?

50:00 - 50:03: - They said some gnarly, I guess.

50:03 - 50:03: - Oh, gnarly, really?

50:03 - 50:07: - I feel like my lingo is just based on my group of friends.

50:07 - 50:08: Groups of friends form their own

50:08 - 50:11: sort of like linguistic ecosystems.

50:11 - 50:12: - True.

50:12 - 50:13: - And I'm just sort of like, I don't know,

50:13 - 50:15: yeah, just like catch phrases or slang

50:15 - 50:16: just thrown around.

50:16 - 50:17: - No, and definitely, you've rubbed off on me.

50:17 - 50:19: I was doing an interview recently,

50:19 - 50:21: and I did describe something as gnarly.

50:21 - 50:24: I was like, would I have said that a few years ago

50:24 - 50:25: when I was in--

50:25 - 50:26: - That warms my heart.

50:26 - 50:26: - Yeah.

50:26 - 50:28: Gnarly comes up.

50:28 - 50:30: - It's a buff traffic sitch.

50:30 - 50:33: - Yeah, are you familiar with the phrase buff traffic sitch?

50:33 - 50:35: - No, I've never heard buff before.

50:35 - 50:36: - You don't know buff?

50:36 - 50:37: - No.

50:37 - 50:40: - Buff is super, like, I'm not a surfer,

50:40 - 50:42: but I have a lot of friends that are surfers.

50:42 - 50:44: - Yeah, you actually do sound like a surfer.

50:44 - 50:45: - Really?

50:45 - 50:47: - So you've definitely gotten that from your friends.

50:47 - 50:48: - I'm terrified.

50:48 - 50:49: I went out a few times on the board,

50:49 - 50:51: and it was just, I couldn't deal with it.

50:51 - 50:53: Like, kind of a buffy break today.

50:53 - 50:55: - I like it, I really like it.

50:55 - 50:59: - Buff just means like rough, scary, messed up.

50:59 - 51:00: - So it could mean everything.

51:00 - 51:02: - You can apply it to other situations besides the surf.

51:02 - 51:05: It's just like, this traffic is buff right now.

51:05 - 51:08: - The words that mean, that could mean anything,

51:08 - 51:11: it's just like, why are we even talking, you know?

51:11 - 51:13: - Could mean anything, well, but it means something.

51:13 - 51:14: I mean.

51:14 - 51:15: - No, that mean everything.

51:15 - 51:16: - That mean everything.

51:16 - 51:17: - Yeah.

51:17 - 51:18: - I picked a brutal from you.

51:18 - 51:20: I call everything brutal now.

51:20 - 51:21: Just like.

51:21 - 51:22: - So brutal, bro.

51:22 - 51:24: - Yeah, when you don't have anything else to say,

51:24 - 51:25: and somebody's just like, oh my god,

51:25 - 51:28: of all things, like, brutal.

51:28 - 51:29: I definitely say that a lot.

51:29 - 51:32: And then also, you know, I got another friend

51:32 - 51:33: who rubs off on me a lot,

51:33 - 51:34: and he's kind of like,

51:34 - 51:36: comes from like, 90s hip hop background,

51:36 - 51:38: so I always call stuff ill.

51:38 - 51:39: - Okay.

51:39 - 51:40: - And I'm like, I wonder if I should pump

51:40 - 51:41: the brakes on that one.

51:41 - 51:45: - Sick, I would say is a little less annoying than ill.

51:45 - 51:46: - Like that's sick?

51:46 - 51:47: - Yeah.

51:47 - 51:48: - I definitely say sick.

51:48 - 51:48: - I say sick too.

51:48 - 51:49: - You have some good ones, Ezra.

51:49 - 51:50: You have chop it up.

51:50 - 51:51: - Oh, chop it up.

51:51 - 51:52: - What does that mean?

51:52 - 51:53: - Which I never use.

51:53 - 51:53: - That just means to talk.

51:53 - 51:55: - I like it, or hang out.

51:55 - 51:57: - Yeah, like, or, yeah.

51:57 - 51:59: - I don't think hang out is Ezra's.

51:59 - 51:59: (laughing)

51:59 - 52:01: - Chop it up.

52:01 - 52:01: - Chop, chop it up.

52:01 - 52:03: - Oh, it means hang out, okay.

52:03 - 52:05: - In Norway, we say hang out.

52:05 - 52:06: - Yeah, yeah.

52:06 - 52:07: - I know it sounds wacky.

52:07 - 52:10: - It just means hanging out with your friends.

52:10 - 52:11: (laughing)

52:24 - 52:49: - Okay, back to Seinfeld.

52:49 - 52:51: We have Seinfeld 2000,

52:51 - 52:53: one of the premier Seinfeld accounts.

52:53 - 52:54: And I just also want to say,

52:54 - 52:56: fuck all the other accounts who give this guy grief.

52:56 - 52:57: - Right.

52:57 - 52:57: - He's the OG.

52:57 - 52:58: - Thank you.

52:58 - 52:59: - OG.

52:59 - 53:00: - We got Kazzy, who obviously has a family connection

53:00 - 53:01: to the program.

53:01 - 53:02: And then we just got--

53:02 - 53:03: - But knows nothing.

53:03 - 53:04: - That means nothing.

53:04 - 53:05: And then we got me and Jake,

53:05 - 53:08: who are just two chill bros who are familiar with the show.

53:08 - 53:09: - Fans of the show.

53:09 - 53:11: - Fans of the show, having grown up in America.

53:11 - 53:12: - Not heads.

53:12 - 53:12: - In America.

53:12 - 53:13: Yeah, I wouldn't say a head.

53:13 - 53:14: - What does that mean?

53:14 - 53:15: Is that a crew?

53:15 - 53:16: - Oh, head?

53:16 - 53:17: - Yeah.

53:17 - 53:19: - Like a massive fan.

53:19 - 53:19: - Okay.

53:19 - 53:20: - Like a dead head.

53:20 - 53:21: - That's a good one.

53:21 - 53:22: - Yeah, yeah.

53:22 - 53:23: - I like Seinfeld, but I'm not a head.

53:23 - 53:24: (laughing)

53:24 - 53:25: Like this--

53:25 - 53:28: - I've probably seen like 80% of the episodes.

53:28 - 53:29: - You haven't seen all the episodes?

53:29 - 53:30: - I haven't seen--

53:30 - 53:31: - You know what?

53:31 - 53:32: I haven't either.

53:32 - 53:32: - Never seen the finale.

53:32 - 53:33: - Yeah.

53:33 - 53:34: - Never seen the finale.

53:34 - 53:35: - Oh, I watched that live.

53:35 - 53:36: - Yeah, me too.

53:36 - 53:38: - Well, look at you guys.

53:38 - 53:39: - Maybe I am a head.

53:39 - 53:41: Okay, so we got Nick Weidenfeld,

53:41 - 53:42: member of the TC crew, getting on the mic.

53:42 - 53:47: He's going to run the Seinfeld game.

53:47 - 53:48: How's this gonna work, Nick?

53:48 - 53:52: - All right, well, we have names for the teams.

53:52 - 53:53: - Well, what are the teams?

53:53 - 53:53: Is it me and Jake versus--

53:53 - 53:58: - You and Jake versus Kazzy and Seinfeld 2000,

53:58 - 54:00: which on the surface,

54:00 - 54:02: that would seem like the winning team, right?

54:02 - 54:05: - Yeah, I'm very nervous about this

54:05 - 54:07: because I'm just not a trivia-minded person.

54:07 - 54:09: My brain doesn't really work that way.

54:09 - 54:10: - You're a head, dude.

54:10 - 54:12: - I'm a head, but we'll see.

54:12 - 54:13: We'll see what happens.

54:13 - 54:14: - You'll be fine.

54:14 - 54:16: I'm about to let down my entire family.

54:16 - 54:19: - Seinfeld 2000 and Kazzy David,

54:19 - 54:21: you guys are the Yankees of this.

54:21 - 54:23: Maybe you guys gotta be the Yankees.

54:23 - 54:24: - The Yankees and the Mets, sure.

54:24 - 54:27: - Yeah, I guess the Mets are like a scrappy underdog

54:27 - 54:28: compared to the Yankees.

54:28 - 54:29: - I was gonna say like the Brewers.

54:29 - 54:31: - Okay, we're the Brewers.

54:31 - 54:32: - Twins.

54:32 - 54:33: - The Yankees.

54:33 - 54:35: We have the Yankees versus the Twins,

54:35 - 54:38: and the way the game's gonna be played is

54:38 - 54:40: each team's gonna get five questions.

54:40 - 54:42: If you get it right, you're gonna hear this.

54:45 - 54:47: If you get it wrong, you're gonna hear this.

54:47 - 54:50: (toy horn)

54:50 - 54:51: - Love it.

54:51 - 54:54: - If there's a tie at the end, there'll be a tiebreaker.

54:54 - 54:56: And Leah, let's do a flip of the coin to see who goes first.

54:56 - 54:58: Let's do a flip of the medallion.

54:58 - 55:00: - The Twins will take the top of the cap.

55:00 - 55:03: - It's the bottom of the cap.

55:03 - 55:04: - It's the Yankees.

55:04 - 55:04: - Yankees.

55:04 - 55:08: So the first multiple choice question,

55:08 - 55:14: Yankees, what causes George's fiancee, Susan, to die?

55:14 - 55:15: - Oh my God.

55:15 - 55:17: - Envelope, it was an envelope.

55:17 - 55:18: - What a joke.

55:18 - 55:19: (popping)

55:19 - 55:20: (laughing)

55:20 - 55:22: - I mean, we didn't even need the--

55:22 - 55:24: - Okay, that was a softball.

55:24 - 55:25: Let's see what we get.

55:25 - 55:26: - Twins.

55:26 - 55:27: - Yeah.

55:27 - 55:29: - What, in almost every episode,

55:29 - 55:31: is found on the shelf in Jerry's apartment?

55:31 - 55:32: - Cereal.

55:32 - 55:33: (toy horn)

55:33 - 55:34: - Woo!

55:34 - 55:36: - All right, yeah, we don't need the multiple choice.

55:36 - 55:36: - Wait, we got that wrong, or what?

55:36 - 55:38: - Wait, that was wrong.

55:38 - 55:39: - Wait, oh, that was wrong?

55:39 - 55:40: (laughing)

55:40 - 55:41: - Can I take this one?

55:41 - 55:42: - Was that wrong?

55:42 - 55:44: - Wait, wait, that was wrong.

55:44 - 55:44: (toy horn)

55:44 - 55:45: - Oh wow.

55:45 - 55:47: - Do we get the question if they got it wrong?

55:47 - 55:47: - Bottled water?

55:47 - 55:48: - Oh.

55:48 - 55:49: - What was it?

55:49 - 55:50: - Superman.

55:50 - 55:51: - What?

55:51 - 55:52: (popping)

55:52 - 55:53: - All right, debatable, moving on.

55:53 - 55:54: - Debatable.

55:54 - 55:56: - Cereal was a great answer, it was a really good answer.

55:56 - 55:57: - All right, thank you.

55:57 - 56:01: - Yankees, what was, quote, "Little Jerry"?

56:01 - 56:03: I know this one, do you know?

56:03 - 56:04: There's an animal?

56:05 - 56:08: It was, wasn't it a rooster?

56:08 - 56:09: (popping)

56:09 - 56:11: - That's right, Kramer's pet rooster.

56:11 - 56:12: - Would you have known that?

56:12 - 56:13: - No.

56:13 - 56:16: - What season is, do we know what season that is?

56:16 - 56:19: - I would have guessed like six?

56:19 - 56:21: - It seems like a, that's a late season.

56:21 - 56:23: - Yeah, that's a late one.

56:23 - 56:24: - That's like when Kramer has his head

56:24 - 56:26: on the turkey kind of situation.

56:26 - 56:27: - Right, right, right.

56:27 - 56:29: - All right, twins, back to you.

56:29 - 56:32: - Okay, oh man, all right, we're gonna get our (beep)

56:32 - 56:32: together.

56:32 - 56:37: - In the quote, "Bubble Boy", what game does George

56:37 - 56:39: and Bubble Boy fight about?

56:39 - 56:41: - Oh.

56:41 - 56:42: - That's a good question.

56:44 - 56:44: - Is it a board game?

56:44 - 56:45: - Probably a board game.

56:45 - 56:46: - You mean multiple choice?

56:46 - 56:47: - Yeah.

56:47 - 56:50: - You can ask for multiple choice from now on.

56:50 - 56:51: - It's only a friend.

56:51 - 56:51: - Yeah.

56:51 - 56:54: - Okay, A, Monopoly.

56:54 - 56:55: - That wasn't a move.

56:55 - 56:55: - B, Uno.

56:55 - 56:58: C, Trivial Pursuit.

56:58 - 57:00: Or D, Go Fish.

57:00 - 57:03: - They all seem possible.

57:03 - 57:04: - Doesn't help.

57:04 - 57:04: - Um.

57:04 - 57:09: Trivial Pursuit?

57:09 - 57:10: - Oh yeah.

57:10 - 57:10: - Nice, dude.

57:10 - 57:11: - Wow.

57:11 - 57:15: - I think we got in a fight about something trivial.

57:15 - 57:17: That was my thinking on that one.

57:17 - 57:18: - Well done.

57:18 - 57:19: - Thank you.

57:19 - 57:21: Back on the board.

57:21 - 57:24: - Currently scored two to one, Yankees.

57:24 - 57:29: So Yankees, what does Elaine buy a lot of for Mr. Pit

57:29 - 57:33: but doesn't get the right kind of?

57:33 - 57:34: - Mr. Pit.

57:34 - 57:35: - Is it socks?

57:35 - 57:38: - Nice one.

57:38 - 57:39: - It is socks.

57:39 - 57:40: - Nice one, Kazzy.

57:40 - 57:42: (laughing)

57:42 - 57:44: - All right, this is turning out about how one would expect.

57:44 - 57:45: All right, you guys are doing well.

57:45 - 57:48: - I thought these questions would be harder, to be honest.

57:48 - 57:49: Anyway.

57:49 - 57:50: - I didn't make up the questions.

57:50 - 57:50: - That one was hard.

57:50 - 57:51: I wouldn't have gotten that.

57:51 - 57:52: - I wouldn't have.

57:52 - 57:54: - Seinfeld 2000 is head, so.

57:54 - 57:55: - Yeah.

57:55 - 57:59: - I love how stressed Seinfeld was about these questions.

57:59 - 58:01: - All right, twins.

58:01 - 58:07: What kind of pasta does Kramer make a Jerry figurine from?

58:07 - 58:08: - Pusilli.

58:08 - 58:09: - Pusilli?

58:10 - 58:12: - That is correct, it is Pusilli.

58:12 - 58:13: - Clutch, dude.

58:13 - 58:16: - All right, Yankees.

58:16 - 58:19: What does Kramer have installed in his shower?

58:19 - 58:24: - Oh, that's a, is it a garbage disposal?

58:24 - 58:24: - It is.

58:24 - 58:26: - Wow.

58:26 - 58:27: - In his shower?

58:27 - 58:28: - It's a very funny episode.

58:28 - 58:31: - It's an episode where he wants to eat in his shower.

58:31 - 58:32: - Okay.

58:32 - 58:33: - Is that the one where George Easton says--

58:33 - 58:35: - So he has a garbage disposal inside his shower

58:35 - 58:36: and I think--

58:36 - 58:37: - To save time, right?

58:37 - 58:38: - To save time.

58:38 - 58:40: - You know what, actually, I haven't watched all of Seinfeld.

58:40 - 58:41: Maybe I never.

58:41 - 58:44: Next time we're doing Curb, 'cause I would shred it then.

58:44 - 58:45: - Yeah, I would shred it that too.

58:45 - 58:46: - I would shred it.

58:46 - 58:48: - I haven't seen the last two seasons of Seinfeld.

58:48 - 58:50: - Wow.

58:50 - 58:52: - Maybe we'll, you know what, maybe that's what we'll do.

58:52 - 58:53: - Well, there's not gonna be a bonus.

58:53 - 58:55: - Oh, those are the weird seasons, though.

58:55 - 58:58: The show kinda goes off the rails a little bit.

58:58 - 58:59: - Out of familial pride, you were like,

58:59 - 59:01: "I don't need to watch these last two seasons."

59:01 - 59:02: - Yeah, I mean, he didn't watch them,

59:02 - 59:03: so I was like, "Why would I watch them?"

59:03 - 59:04: - Not canon.

59:04 - 59:05: - Wow.

59:05 - 59:06: They don't count.

59:06 - 59:08: - Not canon.

59:08 - 59:08: - Twins.

59:08 - 59:12: In one episode, what does Jerry say

59:12 - 59:14: his girlfriend's laugh sounds like?

59:14 - 59:18: - We're gonna need multiple tries for this.

59:18 - 59:20: - I don't know this one.

59:20 - 59:22: - A, Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer.

59:22 - 59:24: B, Jake's Home Depot playlist.

59:24 - 59:28: Z, a snorting pig.

59:28 - 59:29: D, a monkey with a flu.

59:29 - 59:31: - Wanna say Jake's Home Depot playlist,

59:31 - 59:33: but I feel like that's not it.

59:33 - 59:34: Just the timeline doesn't work out on that one.

59:34 - 59:35: - What was the first one?

59:35 - 59:38: - The first one is Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer.

59:38 - 59:39: - I think that's it.

59:39 - 59:41: - All right, let's go for it.

59:41 - 59:43: - Ay!

59:43 - 59:45: - I don't even know what that means, though.

59:45 - 59:46: - You know what, Elmer Fudd?

59:46 - 59:48: - What does the juicer do to the voice?

59:48 - 59:51: - I guess his buttocks would be shredded

59:51 - 59:53: into a bloody pulp by the juicer,

59:53 - 59:55: so it would be some kind of agonizing...

59:55 - 59:58: (laughing)

59:58 - 59:59: That's actually a really gnar image.

59:59 - 01:00:02: You should have a word with your father about that.

01:00:02 - 01:00:05: - I don't think that's appropriate for NBC must-see TV.

01:00:05 - 01:00:07: I'm gonna write a letter.

01:00:07 - 01:00:09: So this is game point for them.

01:00:09 - 01:00:10: - This is game point.

01:00:10 - 01:00:11: That is correct.

01:00:11 - 01:00:13: All right, Yankees.

01:00:13 - 01:00:17: What is one surefire way to open up Elaine's vault?

01:00:17 - 01:00:19: - I don't know.

01:00:19 - 01:00:20: - I know it.

01:00:20 - 01:00:21: - Oh, you know?

01:00:21 - 01:00:21: - That's all you.

01:00:21 - 01:00:22: - All right.

01:00:22 - 01:00:24: - It's alcohol, right?

01:00:24 - 01:00:26: It's the schnapps, the peach schnapps?

01:00:26 - 01:00:27: - That is right.

01:00:27 - 01:00:28: - Okay.

01:00:28 - 01:00:31: - Is vault a code word for her vagina?

01:00:31 - 01:00:32: - Yeah, the secrets that she keeps.

01:00:32 - 01:00:34: (laughing)

01:00:34 - 01:00:35: - Or is it like her actual vault?

01:00:35 - 01:00:36: - No, no, no, it's the secrets that she keeps.

01:00:36 - 01:00:37: - It's like her mental vault.

01:00:37 - 01:00:38: - It's everything she knows.

01:00:38 - 01:00:38: - Oh, no, okay.

01:00:38 - 01:00:41: She says that, like, I don't tell secrets.

01:00:41 - 01:00:42: - That's right.

01:00:42 - 01:00:44: - It's a vault, but then the key to the vault is peach schnapps.

01:00:44 - 01:00:45: - That's right.

01:00:45 - 01:00:46: - The question was a little ambiguous.

01:00:46 - 01:00:47: - Twins, we're gonna give you one more.

01:00:47 - 01:00:48: If you get this, we're gonna go even,

01:00:48 - 01:00:50: and we'll tie and have a tiebreaker.

01:00:50 - 01:00:52: What did Kramer call the fragrance

01:00:52 - 01:00:54: that Calvin Klein stole from him?

01:00:54 - 01:00:56: I'll give you multiple choice.

01:00:56 - 01:01:00: The ocean, the breeze, the beach.

01:01:01 - 01:01:03: The bread absconder.

01:01:03 - 01:01:08: - Okay, the ocean, the breeze.

01:01:08 - 01:01:11: I wanna say the ocean, man, I don't know.

01:01:11 - 01:01:12: Do you have any idea, Jake?

01:01:12 - 01:01:13: - No.

01:01:13 - 01:01:15: - I'm gonna go with the beach.

01:01:15 - 01:01:17: Nice.

01:01:17 - 01:01:18: (laughing)

01:01:18 - 01:01:19: Great Leonardo DiCaprio film.

01:01:19 - 01:01:20: - Well done.

01:01:20 - 01:01:21: - Okay.

01:01:21 - 01:01:22: - All right, it's a tiebreaker.

01:01:22 - 01:01:25: The closest team to this answer is going to win.

01:01:25 - 01:01:28: What was the exact date of the first ever airing

01:01:28 - 01:01:29: of Seinfeld on TV?

01:01:31 - 01:01:32: - October.

01:01:33 - 01:01:34: - October 3rd, '89.

01:01:34 - 01:01:35: - I know it's '89.

01:01:35 - 01:01:37: - I think it was October.

01:01:37 - 01:01:38: - I think it was like June, right, though?

01:01:38 - 01:01:41: 'Cause wasn't the show supposed to be like a summer?

01:01:41 - 01:01:42: - You should know 'cause you should be like

01:01:42 - 01:01:43: posting an Instagram on that.

01:01:43 - 01:01:44: - You're ahead.

01:01:44 - 01:01:46: - Right, right, yeah.

01:01:46 - 01:01:46: - A real head would know.

01:01:46 - 01:01:49: - I'm gonna really need an A now.

01:01:49 - 01:01:50: I'm gonna need a final answer.

01:01:50 - 01:01:52: - October 3rd, '89.

01:01:52 - 01:01:54: - I'm with it.

01:01:54 - 01:01:55: - We're locking you in.

01:01:55 - 01:01:55: - Okay.

01:01:55 - 01:01:57: - October 3rd, '89, all right.

01:01:57 - 01:01:58: - Oh, the exact date.

01:01:58 - 01:02:03: - I'm gonna say June 12th, '89.

01:02:03 - 01:02:07: - The answer is July 5th, 1989.

01:02:07 - 01:02:08: - Is it like the Price is Right

01:02:08 - 01:02:10: where you get the closest person?

01:02:10 - 01:02:11: - You win, you win.

01:02:11 - 01:02:12: - You win.

01:02:12 - 01:02:13: - Wow.

01:02:13 - 01:02:14: - Okay, Seinfeld cred.

01:02:14 - 01:02:16: - Just imagine that, man.

01:02:16 - 01:02:20: July '89, George H.W. Bush is president.

01:02:20 - 01:02:22: You just went to a barbecue.

01:02:22 - 01:02:25: You got (beep) faced with your boys.

01:02:25 - 01:02:28: You lie on the couch, hungover on July 5th.

01:02:28 - 01:02:31: Turn it over to NBC.

01:02:31 - 01:02:34: Catch a quirky new sitcom.

01:02:34 - 01:02:36: (imitates music)

01:02:36 - 01:02:41: Immediately, you're taken by the rhythm of the bass line

01:02:41 - 01:02:44: and how the tempo matches Jerry's cadence.

01:02:44 - 01:02:46: We had the composer of the Seinfeld theme song on once.

01:02:46 - 01:02:48: - I actually heard about that.

01:02:48 - 01:02:49: - And you're just like, what is this?

01:02:49 - 01:02:50: And then it opens.

01:02:50 - 01:02:52: - You got a real wry sensibility.

01:02:52 - 01:02:54: - And just two guys chopping it up in a diner.

01:02:54 - 01:02:56: - This is a very self-conscious sitcom.

01:02:56 - 01:02:58: - And you're like, you know what, man?

01:02:58 - 01:03:01: It's 1989, but I honestly feel like I'm witnessing

01:03:01 - 01:03:03: the beginning of the coming decade.

01:03:03 - 01:03:06: (laughing)

01:03:06 - 01:03:08: All right, let's get into the top five.

01:03:08 - 01:03:10: Kazzy, will you join us for the top five?

01:03:10 - 01:03:11: - Yes.

01:03:11 - 01:03:17: - It's time for the top five on iTunes.

01:03:17 - 01:03:20: - Today on the top five, we're gonna be comparing

01:03:20 - 01:03:24: the top five iTunes songs right now in 2017

01:03:24 - 01:03:27: with the top five Billboard hits of 1989.

01:03:27 - 01:03:29: - This week, '89.

01:03:29 - 01:03:31: - This week in '89.

01:03:31 - 01:03:32: Kazzy, does '89 mean much to you

01:03:32 - 01:03:35: outside of the launch of Seinfeld?

01:03:35 - 01:03:37: - No, I'm just curious, obviously these songs

01:03:37 - 01:03:38: are gonna be different.

01:03:38 - 01:03:42: How are we supposed to compare songs that are so different?

01:03:42 - 01:03:44: - This is the backbone of this entire show.

01:03:44 - 01:03:47: I mean, yeah, we listen to the number five song from 1989

01:03:47 - 01:03:49: and then we listen to the number five song from today.

01:03:49 - 01:03:51: - And then you're like, yeah, they're different.

01:03:51 - 01:03:53: - We compare, yeah, sometimes we're like, wow,

01:03:53 - 01:03:54: that one, the first one really sounded like it was from

01:03:54 - 01:03:58: 1989, whereas the second had this more modern,

01:03:58 - 01:04:00: current 2017 feel.

01:04:00 - 01:04:01: You know, that's one thing you might say.

01:04:01 - 01:04:02: - Yeah, okay.

01:04:02 - 01:04:04: (laughing)

01:04:04 - 01:04:05: - Sometimes there's weird parallels.

01:04:05 - 01:04:06: - Sometimes there's weird parallels.

01:04:06 - 01:04:08: - Lyrically or--

01:04:08 - 01:04:09: - Okay, I'm excited, yeah.

01:04:09 - 01:04:11: - And then sometimes we just kind of imagine

01:04:11 - 01:04:13: what it was like, you know, similar to the guy

01:04:13 - 01:04:15: who was hungover after the Fourth of July

01:04:15 - 01:04:18: and happened to catch the first episode of Seinfeld.

01:04:18 - 01:04:18: - Yeah.

01:04:18 - 01:04:20: - And then we just imagine what was happening in 1989.

01:04:20 - 01:04:21: So you were not alive.

01:04:21 - 01:04:22: - I was not.

01:04:22 - 01:04:23: - I was 12.

01:04:23 - 01:04:25: - I was five.

01:04:25 - 01:04:26: You know, this is gonna mean something different

01:04:26 - 01:04:27: to all of us.

01:04:27 - 01:04:28: - This is a nice range here.

01:04:28 - 01:04:29: - Yeah.

01:04:29 - 01:04:31: So the number five song this week in 1989

01:04:31 - 01:04:34: is Naina Cherry, "Buffalo Steps."

01:04:34 - 01:04:35: Good song.

01:04:35 - 01:04:36: - Great song.

01:04:36 - 01:04:36: - Do you know this song?

01:04:36 - 01:04:37: - No.

01:04:38 - 01:04:39: ♪ We just sit down ♪

01:04:39 - 01:04:40: ♪ With the (beep) and scratchin' and gigglin' ♪

01:04:40 - 01:04:42: - Is she the daughter of--

01:04:42 - 01:04:43: - Don Cherry.

01:04:44 - 01:04:45: - The jazz musician.

01:04:45 - 01:04:46: - Right, I thought so.

01:04:46 - 01:04:48: ♪ Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce the hi-hat ♪

01:04:48 - 01:04:49: ♪ Go on ♪

01:04:49 - 01:04:53: ♪ Mm, that's good ♪

01:04:53 - 01:04:57: ♪ Now tambourine, right now ♪

01:04:57 - 01:05:02: ♪ Mm, woo, yeah ♪

01:05:02 - 01:05:05: ♪ DJ ♪

01:05:05 - 01:05:07: ♪ Who's that gigolo on the street ♪

01:05:07 - 01:05:08: ♪ With his hands in his pockets ♪

01:05:08 - 01:05:09: ♪ And his crocodile feet ♪

01:05:09 - 01:05:11: ♪ Hanging off the curb ♪

01:05:11 - 01:05:12: ♪ Looking all absurd ♪

01:05:12 - 01:05:13: ♪ At the boys from home ♪

01:05:13 - 01:05:14: ♪ They all came running ♪

01:05:14 - 01:05:15: ♪ They were making noise ♪

01:05:15 - 01:05:16: ♪ Manhandling toys ♪

01:05:16 - 01:05:17: ♪ The girls on the block ♪

01:05:17 - 01:05:18: ♪ With the nasty cook ♪

01:05:18 - 01:05:19: ♪ Wearing padded bras ♪

01:05:19 - 01:05:21: ♪ Sucking beer from the straws ♪

01:05:21 - 01:05:22: ♪ Dropping down their drawers ♪

01:05:22 - 01:05:24: ♪ Where did you get yours ♪

01:05:24 - 01:05:25: ♪ Gigolo ♪

01:05:25 - 01:05:25: ♪ Huh ♪

01:05:25 - 01:05:26: ♪ Sucka ♪

01:05:26 - 01:05:27: ♪ Gigolo ♪

01:05:27 - 01:05:29: - Sucka.

01:05:29 - 01:05:32: - So her dad is American, but she's like Swedish.

01:05:32 - 01:05:32: - Oh really?

01:05:32 - 01:05:36: - So she's like a cool Swedish woman, rapping.

01:05:36 - 01:05:38: - So her dad married like a Swedish model or something?

01:05:38 - 01:05:40: - A Swedish woman, I'm guessing.

01:05:40 - 01:05:41: I don't know.

01:05:41 - 01:05:42: - She's very cool.

01:05:43 - 01:05:45: ♪ My money man ♪

01:05:45 - 01:05:48: ♪ With my love ♪

01:05:48 - 01:05:48: ♪ It's sweet ♪

01:05:48 - 01:05:52: - I was gonna say, there's a long wait for the payoff.

01:05:52 - 01:05:53: - Right.

01:05:53 - 01:05:55: - Which is not very 2017.

01:05:55 - 01:05:57: ♪ We do the dialing time dance ♪

01:05:57 - 01:05:59: ♪ I give you love baby not romance ♪

01:05:59 - 01:06:00: ♪ I make you move nothing ♪

01:06:00 - 01:06:03: - The DJ sound is really not 2017.

01:06:03 - 01:06:05: - Yes, like the 90s you were just a little kid.

01:06:05 - 01:06:07: So when you hear like DJ scratching.

01:06:07 - 01:06:11: - Yeah, that's definitely an 80s cliche.

01:06:11 - 01:06:12: - Yeah.

01:06:12 - 01:06:15: - Also lyrically, she's saying no money man.

01:06:15 - 01:06:17: She's like, I'm not interested in a money man.

01:06:17 - 01:06:18: - Right.

01:06:18 - 01:06:19: - That's like some 60s stuff.

01:06:19 - 01:06:20: - That's very popular.

01:06:20 - 01:06:25: - But the way people rap, how much can it change?

01:06:25 - 01:06:28: Because you're just talking in a beat, you know?

01:06:28 - 01:06:29: - Oh, it can change quite a bit.

01:06:29 - 01:06:29: - Oh, it's changed.

01:06:29 - 01:06:31: Yeah, that was very stiff, I thought.

01:06:31 - 01:06:33: - I just think like the flow changes.

01:06:33 - 01:06:34: - Yeah.

01:06:34 - 01:06:35: - Like, well, what's like a big rap song?

01:06:35 - 01:06:36: Do you listen to rap?

01:06:36 - 01:06:37: - Yeah.

01:06:37 - 01:06:39: - What's like your favorite new rap song?

01:06:39 - 01:06:41: All My Friends Are Dead, that one?

01:06:41 - 01:06:41: - No.

01:06:41 - 01:06:44: - Everybody loves that song.

01:06:44 - 01:06:45: - She doesn't like being put on the spot.

01:06:45 - 01:06:47: - Yeah, no, I'm sorry to put you on the spot.

01:06:47 - 01:06:48: - I like the new future song,

01:06:48 - 01:06:50: but you can't understand what he's saying.

01:06:50 - 01:06:51: So it's not a good example.

01:06:51 - 01:06:53: - But like, Percocet, Molly Percocet.

01:06:53 - 01:06:54: - Oh, that one.

01:06:54 - 01:06:56: - That's like that rhythm feels very current.

01:06:56 - 01:06:57: - Yeah.

01:06:57 - 01:07:01: But he isn't like a good example of rapping

01:07:01 - 01:07:03: 'cause it's such a different style, it feels like.

01:07:03 - 01:07:07: But that girl, like that could have been Nicki Minaj.

01:07:07 - 01:07:09: - Yeah, if that came out today, it would still be cool.

01:07:09 - 01:07:11: 1989 was not that long ago.

01:07:12 - 01:07:16: - The number five song today is David Cuetta

01:07:16 - 01:07:18: featuring Justin Bieber.

01:07:18 - 01:07:20: - The song sucks.

01:07:20 - 01:07:20: - Oh!

01:07:20 - 01:07:22: - Well, I like you have an opinion though, it's nice.

01:07:22 - 01:07:24: - I like that you have an, yeah.

01:07:24 - 01:07:25: That's nice.

01:07:25 - 01:07:26: - Is this the--

01:07:26 - 01:07:27: - This Too You?

01:07:27 - 01:07:28: - Desperado.

01:07:28 - 01:07:29: - No, it's Too You.

01:07:29 - 01:07:30: - Oh.

01:07:30 - 01:07:33: - Wait, Desperado, you think, no, Despacito.

01:07:33 - 01:07:34: Did you just think of The Eagles?

01:07:34 - 01:07:36: - Did you guys see the video of Justin Bieber

01:07:36 - 01:07:38: like not knowing the words to it?

01:07:38 - 01:07:39: - I've heard about this, we'll get into that in a little bit.

01:07:39 - 01:07:42: - I don't know anything about that.

01:07:42 - 01:07:44: God, Bieber's all over the top five recently.

01:07:44 - 01:07:46: - Biggest singer in the world, man.

01:07:46 - 01:07:47: - He's amazing.

01:07:47 - 01:07:49: - So you like Justin, but you think this song sucks?

01:07:49 - 01:07:51: - Yeah, I just don't like this song.

01:07:51 - 01:07:53: This song feels outdated.

01:07:53 - 01:07:56: This song feels like it could have been 2014, '15.

01:07:56 - 01:07:57: - What's wrong with that?

01:07:57 - 01:07:58: That was only two years ago.

01:07:58 - 01:08:00: - It's just that we've heard this like drop

01:08:00 - 01:08:03: and it's just, it doesn't feel new or fun.

01:08:03 - 01:08:05: Like, do you can't, what do you do to this song?

01:08:05 - 01:08:07: - You've been enjoying the more tropical Justin

01:08:07 - 01:08:08: and this feels like regressive?

01:08:08 - 01:08:10: - This just feels like not,

01:08:10 - 01:08:13: like what do you can't really dance to this song.

01:08:13 - 01:08:15: You wouldn't really listen to this in the car.

01:08:15 - 01:08:16: - This kind of has like a Jersey Shore vibe.

01:08:16 - 01:08:18: This is like a fist pumper.

01:08:18 - 01:08:19: - Yeah.

01:08:19 - 01:08:21: - What's the drop?

01:08:21 - 01:08:22: - Also the lyrics are weird.

01:08:22 - 01:08:23: - What are the lyrics?

01:08:23 - 01:08:26: - They're like our souls intertwine.

01:08:26 - 01:08:27: - Oh, okay.

01:08:27 - 01:08:27: - But shut up.

01:08:27 - 01:08:29: - This sounds like the new Phoenix there.

01:08:29 - 01:08:30: - The new Phoenix?

01:08:30 - 01:08:31: - That drop there.

01:08:31 - 01:08:33: - It might be a little bit in common.

01:08:33 - 01:08:34: Wait, so it sounds like you're a Justin fan.

01:08:34 - 01:08:35: - I am a Justin fan, yeah.

01:08:35 - 01:08:36: - Are you a head?

01:08:37 - 01:08:39: - Are you a Stan?

01:08:39 - 01:08:41: - Is Stan just like a little less than head?

01:08:41 - 01:08:42: - It's like beyond head.

01:08:42 - 01:08:44: - I'm the one level less than head.

01:08:44 - 01:08:45: - Have you seen him live?

01:08:45 - 01:08:46: - Yes.

01:08:46 - 01:08:47: - How many times?

01:08:47 - 01:08:48: - Once.

01:08:48 - 01:08:49: - Have you ever chopped it up with him?

01:08:49 - 01:08:51: - No, I have not.

01:08:51 - 01:08:52: - You never, you got the picture backstage?

01:08:52 - 01:08:53: - No, no, no.

01:08:53 - 01:08:54: - Near a waiting line?

01:08:54 - 01:08:56: - No, not about that.

01:08:56 - 01:08:57: - Okay.

01:08:57 - 01:08:58: Respect.

01:08:58 - 01:09:01: The number four song this week in 1989,

01:09:01 - 01:09:03: Richard Marx,

01:09:03 - 01:09:06: satisfied from the album Repeat Offender.

01:09:06 - 01:09:08: - Wait, wait, what's satisfied?

01:09:08 - 01:09:09: - I don't know.

01:09:09 - 01:09:12: What does Richard Marx actually sound like?

01:09:12 - 01:09:15: - Oh, this is like up-tempo Marx.

01:09:15 - 01:09:17: 'Cause he's like the king of the power ballad.

01:09:17 - 01:09:19: - This sounds super '89 to me.

01:09:19 - 01:09:22: - Oh my God.

01:09:22 - 01:09:27: - Brutal.

01:09:27 - 01:09:34: - I've never heard up-tempo Marx.

01:09:37 - 01:09:46: - This is terrible.

01:09:46 - 01:09:49: - I'm kind of amped.

01:09:49 - 01:09:50: - This would be...

01:09:50 - 01:09:52: - It's a good movie song.

01:09:52 - 01:09:53: - Oh yeah.

01:09:53 - 01:09:53: Montage scene?

01:09:53 - 01:09:55: - Yeah, an old movie.

01:09:55 - 01:09:56: - I'm waiting for the hook here.

01:09:56 - 01:09:57: - Yeah, this is like the try...

01:09:57 - 01:09:58: - I thought that was the hook.

01:09:58 - 01:09:59: - This is like the verse.

01:09:59 - 01:10:01: - Trying on outfits part.

01:10:03 - 01:10:06: - Here we go.

01:10:06 - 01:10:23: - This is crazy.

01:10:23 - 01:10:28: - This is like Rod Stewart meets Brian Adams,

01:10:28 - 01:10:30: but much worse.

01:10:30 - 01:10:32: - Dink, dink, dink.

01:10:32 - 01:10:33: - I almost wonder if he was like listening

01:10:33 - 01:10:35: to like Guns and Roses and was like...

01:10:35 - 01:10:36: - Don't you know?

01:10:36 - 01:10:38: - Yeah, Richard Marx can rock too.

01:10:38 - 01:10:40: Bam, dink, dink.

01:10:40 - 01:10:40: - 'Cause he's like...

01:10:40 - 01:10:41: - Welcome to the jungle.

01:10:41 - 01:10:44: - This is like him trying to do Welcome to the Jungle.

01:10:44 - 01:10:46: - I wonder if like the producer of his record

01:10:46 - 01:10:48: was just like, "Dude, we need some up-tempo stuff

01:10:48 - 01:10:49: on this record."

01:10:49 - 01:10:50: - Right.

01:10:50 - 01:10:53: You're getting pigeonholed as the ballad guy.

01:10:53 - 01:10:54: Okay.

01:10:54 - 01:10:57: ♪ I will be right there waiting for you ♪

01:10:57 - 01:10:58: - Oh, that's Richard Marx?

01:10:58 - 01:10:59: ♪ Wherever you go ♪

01:10:59 - 01:11:00: - Okay.

01:11:00 - 01:11:02: - That's what I thought we were getting.

01:11:02 - 01:11:04: - That's a good song.

01:11:04 - 01:11:07: The number four song in 2017 is Sam Hunt.

01:11:07 - 01:11:09: We've heard this song quite a bit over the past few months.

01:11:09 - 01:11:11: Are you a country music fan at all?

01:11:11 - 01:11:14: - Like, not yes, but I don't wanna be like,

01:11:14 - 01:11:16: "No, I hate country," 'cause everyone says that.

01:11:16 - 01:11:18: - It's played out to say that you hate country.

01:11:18 - 01:11:19: - You know?

01:11:19 - 01:11:20: - But like, I don't know.

01:11:20 - 01:11:21: - I don't like...

01:11:21 - 01:11:22: - Do you know who Sam Hunt is?

01:11:22 - 01:11:23: - Yes.

01:11:23 - 01:11:25: - Do you know the song "Body Like a Backroad"?

01:11:25 - 01:11:28: - If you play it, I'll probably put it on the radio.

01:11:28 - 01:11:29: - Radio?

01:11:29 - 01:11:30: - Yeah, I listen to the radio.

01:11:30 - 01:11:31: - Do you listen to the radio?

01:11:31 - 01:11:32: - Yeah.

01:11:32 - 01:11:32: - Like, in your car?

01:11:32 - 01:11:33: - Yeah.

01:11:33 - 01:11:36: (soulful music)

01:11:36 - 01:11:39: ♪ Got a girl from the South Side ♪

01:11:39 - 01:11:42: ♪ Got braids in her hair ♪

01:11:42 - 01:11:44: ♪ First time I seen her walk by ♪

01:11:44 - 01:11:47: ♪ And I about fell up out my chair ♪

01:11:47 - 01:11:49: ♪ Had to get her number ♪

01:11:49 - 01:11:51: ♪ And it took me like six weeks ♪

01:11:51 - 01:11:52: - Does it sound familiar?

01:11:52 - 01:11:52: - I haven't heard it.

01:11:52 - 01:11:54: I don't think I've heard this.

01:11:54 - 01:11:55: ♪ Like Cadillac seats ♪

01:11:55 - 01:11:57: - It's back in the top five.

01:11:57 - 01:12:01: ♪ Back road driving with my eyes closed ♪

01:12:01 - 01:12:03: ♪ I know every curve ♪

01:12:03 - 01:12:06: ♪ Like the back of my hand ♪

01:12:06 - 01:12:08: ♪ 15 and 30 ♪

01:12:08 - 01:12:11: ♪ I ain't in no hurry ♪

01:12:11 - 01:12:12: ♪ I'ma take it slow ♪

01:12:12 - 01:12:16: ♪ Just as fast as I can ♪

01:12:16 - 01:12:17: ♪ Why you spitting them bitches ♪

01:12:17 - 01:12:19: - We've heard this song a million times.

01:12:19 - 01:12:21: We've also gone very deep on this song.

01:12:21 - 01:12:22: I mean, it might be new to you,

01:12:22 - 01:12:24: but the song's called "Body Like a Backroad".

01:12:24 - 01:12:25: The chorus is,

01:12:25 - 01:12:26: ♪ Body like a back road ♪

01:12:26 - 01:12:28: ♪ Driving with my eyes closed ♪

01:12:28 - 01:12:30: ♪ I know every curve ♪

01:12:30 - 01:12:33: ♪ Like the back of my hand ♪

01:12:33 - 01:12:35: ♪ Doing 15 and a 30 ♪

01:12:35 - 01:12:38: ♪ I ain't in no hurry ♪

01:12:38 - 01:12:39: ♪ Who cares ♪

01:12:39 - 01:12:41: - 15, he's driving 15 miles an hour.

01:12:41 - 01:12:44: - No, I think the point is that he's taking his time.

01:12:44 - 01:12:46: - He's looking for a parking space.

01:12:46 - 01:12:49: - Is that a good music comparison though, would you say?

01:12:49 - 01:12:51: Or is that just like still lame?

01:12:51 - 01:12:52: - Oh, when we compare the 89 to the--

01:12:52 - 01:12:54: - No, no, no, those lyrics.

01:12:54 - 01:12:55: - Oh, you mean like the metaphor?

01:12:55 - 01:12:56: - Yeah.

01:12:56 - 01:12:57: - I mean, I don't have any like special insight on this.

01:12:57 - 01:12:59: I mean, I've always been a little bit weirded out

01:12:59 - 01:13:00: by body songs.

01:13:00 - 01:13:01: - Totally.

01:13:01 - 01:13:03: - I don't think I'm like a prude.

01:13:03 - 01:13:05: I'm like, you can have songs about sex.

01:13:05 - 01:13:08: You can have raw sex songs.

01:13:08 - 01:13:09: I'm down.

01:13:09 - 01:13:12: - Hearing just the word body makes me really uncomfortable.

01:13:12 - 01:13:13: - How about bed sheets?

01:13:13 - 01:13:14: How do you feel about that?

01:13:14 - 01:13:15: - How about Ed Sheeran's song?

01:13:15 - 01:13:16: - Yes.

01:13:16 - 01:13:18: - Made me so uncomfortable.

01:13:18 - 01:13:19: I was like, this girl's probably like,

01:13:19 - 01:13:20: "Ed, please stop."

01:13:20 - 01:13:22: Like, I'm so mad.

01:13:22 - 01:13:23: - Yeah, because Ed Sheeran's always talking about bodies.

01:13:23 - 01:13:25: You got body like a back road.

01:13:25 - 01:13:28: Back in the day, you had, "Your body is a wonderland,"

01:13:28 - 01:13:30: which for me was one of the first times

01:13:30 - 01:13:31: that I actually thought to myself,

01:13:31 - 01:13:34: I don't like songs where they talk about body.

01:13:34 - 01:13:35: - Like the word body.

01:13:35 - 01:13:36: - That's so interesting.

01:13:36 - 01:13:38: - It's too close to corpse.

01:13:38 - 01:13:39: - Yeah.

01:13:39 - 01:13:39: You know, speaking of slang,

01:13:39 - 01:13:44: I always like the slang body meaning to like destroy or end.

01:13:44 - 01:13:45: - What?

01:13:45 - 01:13:48: - Like the Golden State Warriors bodied the calves.

01:13:48 - 01:13:49: - I don't know that term at all.

01:13:49 - 01:13:49: - Oh, okay.

01:13:49 - 01:13:51: It's like a football term.

01:13:51 - 01:13:53: - Or like hip hop body or like--

01:13:53 - 01:13:56: - I think the word body is just a gross word.

01:13:56 - 01:13:57: - It sounds like, it's like health class.

01:13:57 - 01:13:58: - Yeah, it's gross.

01:13:58 - 01:13:59: - Yeah.

01:13:59 - 01:14:03: I'm gonna write a song called "Body in Some Bedsheets."

01:14:03 - 01:14:06: ♪ Body in some bed sheets ♪

01:14:06 - 01:14:08: Just let me make sure that nobody ever listens

01:14:08 - 01:14:10: to Vampire Weekend again.

01:14:10 - 01:14:11: Body in some bed--

01:14:11 - 01:14:13: That also sounds like you murdered them.

01:14:13 - 01:14:14: - Record it. - Body in some bed sheets.

01:14:14 - 01:14:15: - Record it for the box set.

01:14:15 - 01:14:18: ♪ Body in some bed sheets ♪

01:14:18 - 01:14:20: - Let me rip a solo over it

01:14:20 - 01:14:21: and then just bury it for 20 years.

01:14:21 - 01:14:23: - I love you ripping a solo over it.

01:14:23 - 01:14:25: ♪ Woke up in the morning ♪

01:14:25 - 01:14:26: - Brutal.

01:14:26 - 01:14:28: ♪ Looked at my bed ♪

01:14:28 - 01:14:29: - Crush and brutal.

01:14:29 - 01:14:31: ♪ Looked under the bed sheets ♪

01:14:31 - 01:14:33: ♪ Saw your body ♪

01:14:33 - 01:14:35: ♪ Pretty brutal ♪

01:14:35 - 01:14:36: ♪ Went above ♪

01:14:36 - 01:14:38: Yeah, I don't know, B words.

01:14:38 - 01:14:40: I don't like B words.

01:14:40 - 01:14:41: Wow.

01:14:41 - 01:14:42: See, here's where we get into these

01:14:42 - 01:14:44: kind of like freaky connections.

01:14:44 - 01:14:48: - I hate B words 'cause my least favorite word is,

01:14:48 - 01:14:50: I can't even say it, I hate it so much.

01:14:50 - 01:14:51: - Wait, what?

01:14:51 - 01:14:52: - Come on. - Can you spell it?

01:14:52 - 01:14:54: - My least favorite word is breath.

01:14:54 - 01:14:56: I just think it's the most disgusting word

01:14:56 - 01:14:59: and when people say it, I'm like, please stop.

01:14:59 - 01:15:00: - Wow. - Oh my God.

01:15:00 - 01:15:02: - Body feels similar to me.

01:15:02 - 01:15:03: - Yeah, B words are kind of weird.

01:15:03 - 01:15:04: ♪ Every breath you take ♪

01:15:04 - 01:15:06: - Yeah, that's disgusting.

01:15:06 - 01:15:07: - That's a good song.

01:15:07 - 01:15:09: But you know what, I bet there's probably

01:15:09 - 01:15:10: thousands of songs that's like,

01:15:10 - 01:15:14: ♪ When I feel your breath on my body ♪

01:15:14 - 01:15:16: ♪ I feel your breath on my body ♪

01:15:16 - 01:15:19: ♪ In these bed sheets ♪

01:15:19 - 01:15:21: - That's terrible. - Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.

01:15:21 - 01:15:24: So anyway, back in 1989, this is freaky.

01:15:24 - 01:15:27: This song is by Bobby Brown.

01:15:27 - 01:15:28: (laughing)

01:15:28 - 01:15:29: - Oh, nice.

01:15:29 - 01:15:30: - Every Little Step, not familiar with this.

01:15:30 - 01:15:31: - Oh, what?

01:15:32 - 01:15:33: Oh, this song is huge. - I mean, I know

01:15:33 - 01:15:34: my prerogative.

01:15:34 - 01:15:35: - Dude, this song is...

01:15:35 - 01:15:41: So light years beyond my prerogative.

01:15:41 - 01:15:43: - Do you know who Bobby Brown is?

01:15:43 - 01:15:44: - Yeah, the makeup?

01:15:44 - 01:15:45: No, just kidding.

01:15:45 - 01:15:47: - Oh yeah, the other Bobby, yeah, you're right,

01:15:47 - 01:15:48: there's two Bobby Browns.

01:15:50 - 01:15:51: So that's a no.

01:15:51 - 01:15:55: - No, I've heard of him.

01:15:55 - 01:16:01: ♪ Telephone ♪

01:16:01 - 01:16:03: - This song's written by L.A. Reid and Babyface

01:16:03 - 01:16:04: before they were big executives.

01:16:04 - 01:16:05: - Oh, early Babyface.

01:16:05 - 01:16:07: - And L.A. Reid, early L.A. Reid.

01:16:07 - 01:16:08: - I don't know who that is.

01:16:08 - 01:16:10: - He's a major music executive.

01:16:10 - 01:16:11: - Okay.

01:16:11 - 01:16:11: - Recently fired.

01:16:11 - 01:16:14: - I like a songwriter turned executive.

01:16:14 - 01:16:16: - Yeah, he's like Jimmy Iovine producer.

01:16:16 - 01:16:17: - Real.

01:16:17 - 01:16:19: - He's written Tom Petty records.

01:16:19 - 01:16:21: - Bruce.

01:16:21 - 01:16:21: - Bob Seger.

01:16:21 - 01:16:22: - And Bruce, yeah.

01:16:22 - 01:16:24: ♪ Strike that, strike that ♪

01:16:24 - 01:16:26: ♪ Every little step I take ♪

01:16:26 - 01:16:28: ♪ You will be there ♪

01:16:28 - 01:16:31: ♪ Every little step I make ♪

01:16:31 - 01:16:33: ♪ We'll be together ♪

01:16:33 - 01:16:34: ♪ Every little step I take ♪

01:16:34 - 01:16:35: - Good song.

01:16:35 - 01:16:36: - Great song.

01:16:36 - 01:16:38: - Nothing bad to say about it.

01:16:38 - 01:16:39: The number three song.

01:16:39 - 01:16:40: - Same, yeah, nothing bad.

01:16:40 - 01:16:42: - Okay, glad to hear it.

01:16:42 - 01:16:43: The number three song.

01:16:43 - 01:16:44: Yeah, I'm sorry.

01:16:44 - 01:16:47: The number three song back in our era

01:16:47 - 01:16:49: is by Niall Horan.

01:16:49 - 01:16:50: Do you know who that is?

01:16:50 - 01:16:51: - Yeah, unfortunately.

01:16:51 - 01:16:52: No, not unfortunately.

01:16:52 - 01:16:53: - Who is it?

01:16:53 - 01:16:54: - Great guy, great guy.

01:16:54 - 01:16:55: - Wait, you don't remember who Niall Horan is?

01:16:55 - 01:16:57: - He's from One Direction, right?

01:16:57 - 01:16:58: - Thank you.

01:16:58 - 01:16:59: - He's the one who loves Don Henley.

01:16:59 - 01:16:59: - I was thinking he's from New Edition,

01:16:59 - 01:17:00: but that's Bobby Brown.

01:17:00 - 01:17:01: - That's Bobby.

01:17:01 - 01:17:02: - He's from One Direction.

01:17:03 - 01:17:04: So that's a weird comparison.

01:17:04 - 01:17:05: - So has he just gone solo too?

01:17:05 - 01:17:07: - Yeah, he's been gone solo.

01:17:07 - 01:17:11: He's had, his first single came out like last year maybe,

01:17:11 - 01:17:13: and this is kind of like his second big single.

01:17:13 - 01:17:14: So I'm curious.

01:17:14 - 01:17:16: So you're 23 now.

01:17:16 - 01:17:18: When Justin Bieber and One Direction came out,

01:17:18 - 01:17:22: were you in the age range to become a serious fan?

01:17:22 - 01:17:23: You were too old.

01:17:23 - 01:17:24: - Yeah, way too old.

01:17:24 - 01:17:25: - So when you saw these images of,

01:17:25 - 01:17:26: you saw on the news,

01:17:26 - 01:17:28: One Direction, you were just kind of rolling your eyes?

01:17:28 - 01:17:31: Or you were like, that would be me a few years ago?

01:17:31 - 01:17:32: Or would it not have been?

01:17:32 - 01:17:33: - No, I think it was just,

01:17:33 - 01:17:36: yeah, I think I was too old for that.

01:17:36 - 01:17:37: - But you went to see Justin Bieber.

01:17:37 - 01:17:38: - I didn't fan out.

01:17:38 - 01:17:40: I was the Jonas Brothers era.

01:17:40 - 01:17:43: I fanned out over Nick Jonas.

01:17:43 - 01:17:44: - Right.

01:17:44 - 01:17:46: - That was my young age.

01:17:46 - 01:17:50: - So One Direction, did you like it in a kind of chill way?

01:17:50 - 01:17:51: Or you were just like, this is not for me?

01:17:51 - 01:17:54: - It was like, it was like not for me,

01:17:54 - 01:17:56: but I like seen all their music videos

01:17:56 - 01:17:59: in like a one night board thing.

01:17:59 - 01:18:00: - Right.

01:18:00 - 01:18:01: - Yeah.

01:18:01 - 01:18:03: - And are you interested in their solo careers?

01:18:03 - 01:18:07: - No, but I'm pushing for Harry to be the best,

01:18:07 - 01:18:08: better than Zayn,

01:18:08 - 01:18:10: because Zayn kind of bothers me for some reason.

01:18:10 - 01:18:11: - Interesting.

01:18:11 - 01:18:12: - Yeah.

01:18:12 - 01:18:13: - I think it's worth getting into this for a second.

01:18:13 - 01:18:14: - Mm-hmm.

01:18:14 - 01:18:15: - Why?

01:18:15 - 01:18:17: Why does Zayn bother you?

01:18:17 - 01:18:18: - I just feel like Harry was always the one

01:18:18 - 01:18:20: that was supposed to go solo first,

01:18:20 - 01:18:24: and then Zayn like sneakily like did some,

01:18:24 - 01:18:26: I don't know, but I just have this theory.

01:18:26 - 01:18:31: He just like sneaked into it first and it kind of,

01:18:31 - 01:18:33: - But their music's so different.

01:18:33 - 01:18:34: There's like no comparison.

01:18:34 - 01:18:35: - Yeah, no, no.

01:18:35 - 01:18:35: But it's also the thing where it's like--

01:18:35 - 01:18:37: - What, do you like that Harry went

01:18:37 - 01:18:39: for more of a tasteful 70s rock palette?

01:18:39 - 01:18:40: - Yeah, I think he's cool.

01:18:40 - 01:18:41: But isn't his song kind of like,

01:18:41 - 01:18:43: isn't it a copy of something?

01:18:43 - 01:18:45: - Yeah, a lot of things.

01:18:45 - 01:18:46: - Yeah, that happens.

01:18:46 - 01:18:46: That's always a bummer.

01:18:46 - 01:18:47: ♪ The sound of the times ♪

01:18:47 - 01:18:48: - That was a good song.

01:18:48 - 01:18:51: - Wait, wait, what's the Zayn single?

01:18:51 - 01:18:53: - Zayn had a single called "Pillow Talk."

01:18:53 - 01:18:54: That was his biggest song.

01:18:54 - 01:18:55: - But "Pillow Talk" is again,

01:18:55 - 01:18:57: it's like a bed sheet body type song.

01:18:57 - 01:18:58: - Yeah, "Pillow Talk" is a little close

01:18:58 - 01:18:59: to bed sheet body territory.

01:18:59 - 01:19:00: - Exactly.

01:19:00 - 01:19:04: - I like that Harry at least went,

01:19:04 - 01:19:07: he didn't do a song about sex or bodies.

01:19:07 - 01:19:08: - Yeah, same.

01:19:08 - 01:19:09: - Not because there's anything wrong with that,

01:19:09 - 01:19:10: but it's just like enough for it.

01:19:10 - 01:19:13: - It's always respectable for people

01:19:13 - 01:19:15: to not make music about that.

01:19:15 - 01:19:19: - So Niall, his song is kind of about sex as I recall.

01:19:19 - 01:19:21: This one's called "Slow Hands."

01:19:21 - 01:19:22: And Niall has--

01:19:22 - 01:19:22: - "Slow Hands?"

01:19:22 - 01:19:23: - Yeah.

01:19:23 - 01:19:24: - Ugh.

01:19:24 - 01:19:25: - Is this about Eric Clapton?

01:19:25 - 01:19:27: - Yeah, you know what?

01:19:27 - 01:19:29: "Slow Hands," it's like in a perfect world,

01:19:29 - 01:19:31: we'd hear about Niall Horan's song called "Slow Hands."

01:19:31 - 01:19:33: We're like, maybe he's talking about

01:19:33 - 01:19:35: doing some like carpentry, some whittling.

01:19:35 - 01:19:37: - Wait, is this a song,

01:19:37 - 01:19:39: the whole fantasy about me running a hardware store?

01:19:39 - 01:19:39: - Yes, because this is--

01:19:39 - 01:19:41: - Is Niall working for me?

01:19:41 - 01:19:43: - You know, he's like "Boys" with Don Henley now.

01:19:43 - 01:19:44: He's very inspired by the Eagles.

01:19:44 - 01:19:45: - Oh, yeah.

01:19:45 - 01:19:46: - You Eagles fan?

01:19:46 - 01:19:47: - Yeah, I love the Eagles.

01:19:47 - 01:19:50: - Okay, so now Horan, similar, like Harry's vibe is kind,

01:19:50 - 01:19:54: Zayn was like, I'm going kind of like R&B, modern pop sounds.

01:19:54 - 01:19:57: Harry was like, I'm going for the tasteful '70s palette

01:19:57 - 01:19:58: of like David Bowie and stuff.

01:19:58 - 01:20:00: And now it was like, I just want to sound like

01:20:00 - 01:20:01: early Don Henley solo.

01:20:01 - 01:20:03: - Early '80s Henley.

01:20:03 - 01:20:03: - Yeah.

01:20:03 - 01:20:05: - Dirty laundry.

01:20:05 - 01:20:06: - Is this top three?

01:20:06 - 01:20:07: - Yeah, this is number three.

01:20:07 - 01:20:08: - Oh, good for him.

01:20:08 - 01:20:10: - Back in the top five.

01:20:10 - 01:20:13: - Yeah, yeah, this song is doing well.

01:20:13 - 01:20:14: - Got legs.

01:20:14 - 01:20:16: - Oh, I think I've heard this, I just didn't know it was him.

01:20:16 - 01:20:17: - Yeah.

01:20:17 - 01:20:21: ♪ We should take this back to my place ♪

01:20:21 - 01:20:22: - He's that weird vocal effect.

01:20:22 - 01:20:23: - No, I haven't heard this.

01:20:23 - 01:20:27: ♪ I get my news on the evening news ♪

01:20:27 - 01:20:28: - Wait, what?

01:20:28 - 01:20:28: - This is pure Don Henley.

01:20:28 - 01:20:29: - Yeah.

01:20:29 - 01:20:32: ♪ 'Cause I want you bad ♪

01:20:32 - 01:20:34: ♪ Yeah, I want you baby ♪

01:20:34 - 01:20:36: - Oh, yeah, the chorus on this one is tight.

01:20:36 - 01:20:40: ♪ All day ♪

01:20:40 - 01:20:44: ♪ And I hope you feel the same way ♪

01:20:44 - 01:20:46: ♪ Yeah ♪

01:20:46 - 01:20:48: ♪ 'Cause I want you bad ♪

01:20:48 - 01:20:50: ♪ Yeah, I want you baby ♪

01:20:50 - 01:20:53: ♪ Slow, slow hands ♪

01:20:53 - 01:20:56: ♪ Like sweat drippin' down that dirty laundry ♪

01:20:56 - 01:20:57: ♪ No, no chance ♪

01:20:57 - 01:20:58: - Oh, yeah, the dirty laundry reference.

01:20:58 - 01:21:01: ♪ That I'm leaving here without you on me ♪

01:21:01 - 01:21:02: - I'm into this song.

01:21:02 - 01:21:03: - Yeah, it's tight.

01:21:03 - 01:21:04: - Yeah.

01:21:04 - 01:21:08: ♪ Yeah, I already know that there ain't no stopping ♪

01:21:08 - 01:21:12: ♪ Your plans and those slow hands ♪

01:21:12 - 01:21:18: - That was sick.

01:21:18 - 01:21:19: Good for him.

01:21:19 - 01:21:20: - Keep it going, dude.

01:21:20 - 01:21:21: - The tasteful palate of early '80s Don Henley.

01:21:21 - 01:21:23: Wait, Jake, you know somebody emailed us a while ago

01:21:23 - 01:21:24: 'cause we were talking about it?

01:21:24 - 01:21:25: - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:21:25 - 01:21:29: - And they said that Don Henley calls Nalhorn son,

01:21:29 - 01:21:31: and Nalhorn calls Don Henley dad.

01:21:31 - 01:21:33: - How often are they hanging out?

01:21:33 - 01:21:35: - It might be over the phone or via text.

01:21:35 - 01:21:36: - Whoa.

01:21:36 - 01:21:40: And I wonder what if Don's just like--

01:21:40 - 01:21:42: - Dad, have you heard my new single?

01:21:42 - 01:21:43: Yes, son.

01:21:43 - 01:21:47: I love the tasteful palate that you're referencing.

01:21:47 - 01:21:49: - I love that you're riffing on my material

01:21:49 - 01:21:50: from 35 years ago.

01:21:50 - 01:21:54: I wonder if Don's like, I like what you're doing, Nal,

01:21:54 - 01:21:58: and I think your lyrics are gonna mature as you mature.

01:21:58 - 01:21:59: - Don Henley's very supportive.

01:21:59 - 01:22:01: He's like out there doing press for Nal,

01:22:01 - 01:22:03: being like, I love this kid.

01:22:03 - 01:22:05: He's got what it takes.

01:22:05 - 01:22:07: The thing I also like about Nal is that,

01:22:07 - 01:22:08: 'cause you were saying that there's this kind of like

01:22:08 - 01:22:11: Zayn-Harry thing, Harry maybe is supposed to go solo first,

01:22:11 - 01:22:12: and then be like Zayn or Harry.

01:22:12 - 01:22:16: And then Nal's like slow and steady, winning the race.

01:22:16 - 01:22:21: - Yeah, but also there's the other kid, Louis Toml.

01:22:21 - 01:22:24: - Yeah, Louis, he's got a tough road ahead.

01:22:24 - 01:22:26: - Who's the young in this equation?

01:22:26 - 01:22:30: - There's not one.

01:22:30 - 01:22:31: - Okay.

01:22:31 - 01:22:36: - But Louis' song is like kind of like rocking too,

01:22:36 - 01:22:39: but he's like a really,

01:22:39 - 01:22:41: one of those really annoying faces, so.

01:22:41 - 01:22:42: - Oh, you just don't like his face?

01:22:42 - 01:22:43: - Hate his face.

01:22:43 - 01:22:45: - What also I like about in this crew,

01:22:45 - 01:22:47: it's like the two guys with the slowest start

01:22:47 - 01:22:49: also have babies.

01:22:49 - 01:22:50: - Oh my God.

01:22:50 - 01:22:52: Wait, no, that guy isn't solo yet.

01:22:52 - 01:22:53: - That's Liam.

01:22:53 - 01:22:55: He just dropped his first single, but he has a baby.

01:22:55 - 01:22:56: - How's the single?

01:22:56 - 01:22:58: - It's not great.

01:22:58 - 01:23:00: It's not in the top five, as we can see.

01:23:00 - 01:23:02: But I also, I really like that all these other guys

01:23:02 - 01:23:04: are racing each other to release their singles.

01:23:04 - 01:23:08: And whereas Liam had a baby with Cheryl Cole,

01:23:08 - 01:23:11: who used to be one of my favorite British pop stars.

01:23:11 - 01:23:12: - Oh, (beep)

01:23:12 - 01:23:13: - I don't know who that is.

01:23:13 - 01:23:15: - I don't know that, yeah, that's crazy.

01:23:15 - 01:23:16: - Good for him.

01:23:16 - 01:23:17: - That's great.

01:23:17 - 01:23:18: - He linked up with a single mom,

01:23:18 - 01:23:20: 10 years older than him, had a baby with her.

01:23:20 - 01:23:23: These guys are out, you know, grinding in the studio.

01:23:23 - 01:23:25: He's becoming a father.

01:23:25 - 01:23:26: Good for him.

01:23:26 - 01:23:27: - Pretty dope.

01:23:27 - 01:23:30: - Out of everything produced by Solo One Direction,

01:23:30 - 01:23:34: Liam's baby is the best thing that came out of it.

01:23:34 - 01:23:37: It's better than any Harry's Tasteful Palette.

01:23:37 - 01:23:39: It's better than Slow Hounds.

01:23:39 - 01:23:42: I just feel like if you were in a boy band with five guys

01:23:42 - 01:23:43: and you see these guys like in this arms race,

01:23:43 - 01:23:45: who's going to be solo first?

01:23:45 - 01:23:46: Wouldn't you want to be the guy who's like,

01:23:46 - 01:23:48: I'm going to have a baby with Cheryl Cole?

01:23:48 - 01:23:50: - And give it like 10 years.

01:23:50 - 01:23:51: - Yeah.

01:23:51 - 01:23:54: - Liam's going to drop like a cool singer songwriter record

01:23:54 - 01:23:56: in like seven years.

01:23:56 - 01:23:59: He did drop one single already featuring Quavo.

01:23:59 - 01:24:03: It wasn't what I was hoping for, but whatever.

01:24:03 - 01:24:05: I like that he's taking his time.

01:24:05 - 01:24:06: - Yeah.

01:24:06 - 01:24:08: You think it's weird though, like,

01:24:08 - 01:24:09: what else are they going to do?

01:24:09 - 01:24:10: They're obviously going to go solo.

01:24:10 - 01:24:11: There's nothing else for them to do,

01:24:11 - 01:24:12: but it's still annoying.

01:24:12 - 01:24:14: Like, oh yeah, you're going to go solo.

01:24:14 - 01:24:18: Like obviously, but it's why wouldn't they?

01:24:18 - 01:24:18: - Yeah, you know.

01:24:18 - 01:24:19: - They just kind of have to, right?

01:24:19 - 01:24:20: - Yeah, what else are they going to do?

01:24:20 - 01:24:21: - No, but they're singers.

01:24:21 - 01:24:22: - They don't have to.

01:24:22 - 01:24:24: All these guys are worth,

01:24:24 - 01:24:26: well, I don't know what kind of deal they had.

01:24:26 - 01:24:28: I'm guessing they all have at least like 30 mil.

01:24:28 - 01:24:29: - Jeez.

01:24:29 - 01:24:30: - Yeah, they definitely do.

01:24:30 - 01:24:32: - That's a lot of money, Ezra.

01:24:32 - 01:24:33: - I know, I know.

01:24:33 - 01:24:34: Of course it's a lot.

01:24:34 - 01:24:35: - That's a crazy amount of money.

01:24:35 - 01:24:35: I'm actually surprised by that.

01:24:35 - 01:24:37: - They're like the biggest band in the world for a while.

01:24:37 - 01:24:38: Okay, let's say all these guys--

01:24:38 - 01:24:41: - I thought bands didn't make any money anymore.

01:24:41 - 01:24:43: - They definitely made a lot of money.

01:24:43 - 01:24:45: - These guys are going around the world

01:24:45 - 01:24:47: playing stadiums, massive.

01:24:47 - 01:24:50: So let's say each of these guys has, I don't know, 20 mil.

01:24:50 - 01:24:53: Oh, actually now Nick's showing us,

01:24:53 - 01:24:55: maybe they're worth 50 mil.

01:24:55 - 01:24:56: - I'm just saying it'd be interesting

01:24:56 - 01:24:57: if one of those guys was like,

01:24:57 - 01:24:59: you know what, I got 50 mil.

01:24:59 - 01:25:02: I'm gonna open up like a sandwich,

01:25:02 - 01:25:03: chain of sandwich stuff. - I can't think of anything

01:25:03 - 01:25:04: that they should do,

01:25:04 - 01:25:05: but I wanna think of something else

01:25:05 - 01:25:07: they would be good at.

01:25:07 - 01:25:09: - Maybe you should invite one of them

01:25:09 - 01:25:11: to intern on your web series.

01:25:11 - 01:25:13: - Yeah, they would have a really good time.

01:25:13 - 01:25:14: - Maybe some of them can act.

01:25:14 - 01:25:16: - I'm literally the intern on my web series.

01:25:16 - 01:25:18: Like that's how low budget it is.

01:25:18 - 01:25:19: - You're your own intern.

01:25:19 - 01:25:21: - I'm going to pick up the equipment.

01:25:21 - 01:25:23: - Dude, let's have Liam call in.

01:25:23 - 01:25:24: - Let's see if we can get Liam.

01:25:24 - 01:25:25: - I'm a baby.

01:25:25 - 01:25:27: - Let's see if we can get a single member of one date.

01:25:27 - 01:25:30: - Yeah, 'cause I bet one of them is a Vampire Weekend head.

01:25:30 - 01:25:32: I bet one of them is.

01:25:32 - 01:25:34: - That would be real bad if none of them are.

01:25:34 - 01:25:37: - So listeners of Time Crisis,

01:25:37 - 01:25:39: if no one from One Direction ever calls in,

01:25:39 - 01:25:39: that means they all hate Vampire Weekend.

01:25:39 - 01:25:42: - I'm trying to think of like any,

01:25:42 - 01:25:45: nah, I've never heard it through the grapevine.

01:25:45 - 01:25:48: It wouldn't be hard to get in touch with some of these guys.

01:25:48 - 01:25:50: We got plenty of connections to them.

01:25:50 - 01:25:52: - I'd like to have the guy that does the Don Hen,

01:25:52 - 01:25:53: Niall call in.

01:25:53 - 01:25:54: - Let's see if we can get Niall.

01:25:54 - 01:25:56: - You guys can totally get Niall.

01:25:56 - 01:25:57: - Talk Henley with him.

01:25:57 - 01:25:58: - That's easy.

01:25:58 - 01:25:59: - Let's talk Eagles with Niall.

01:25:59 - 01:26:00: That'd be tight.

01:26:00 - 01:26:03: - I think if we came to him respectfully

01:26:03 - 01:26:06: and we were like, "Niall, no gotcha journalism.

01:26:06 - 01:26:07: We just want to talk to you

01:26:07 - 01:26:08: about your love of early Don Henley."

01:26:08 - 01:26:10: - No, let's just talk Eagles.

01:26:10 - 01:26:11: - Just talking Eagles.

01:26:11 - 01:26:12: - I don't want to talk about you.

01:26:12 - 01:26:14: I just want to talk about the Eagles.

01:26:14 - 01:26:15: - Yeah.

01:26:15 - 01:26:18: And maybe we ask him about the other guys.

01:26:18 - 01:26:19: - No, I don't even know who they are.

01:26:19 - 01:26:20: I could care less.

01:26:20 - 01:26:21: - I think it's like in their contract

01:26:21 - 01:26:24: they don't talk about the other ones.

01:26:24 - 01:26:25: - Oh really?

01:26:25 - 01:26:25: - I've never even heard One Direction.

01:26:25 - 01:26:26: - I assume so.

01:26:26 - 01:26:27: - That'd be smart.

01:26:27 - 01:26:31: Okay, I like this idea.

01:26:31 - 01:26:33: Let's get Niall on the phone talking Eagles.

01:26:33 - 01:26:34: - I feel like Niall, Jake can't name

01:26:34 - 01:26:36: a single One Direction song.

01:26:36 - 01:26:38: So it's so chill.

01:26:38 - 01:26:39: - No, no, no, but you can't.

01:26:39 - 01:26:42: See Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake.

01:26:42 - 01:26:43: - You can't even mention One Direction.

01:26:43 - 01:26:45: - Let's just talk Eagles.

01:26:45 - 01:26:46: - But you gotta be respectful

01:26:46 - 01:26:46: 'cause you gotta understand.

01:26:46 - 01:26:47: - No, I am respectful.

01:26:47 - 01:26:49: - No, no, no, these are young men

01:26:49 - 01:26:54: who they know that you're looking at them

01:26:54 - 01:26:56: and you're like these guys have got 50 mil each.

01:26:56 - 01:26:56: - No, I'm not.

01:26:56 - 01:26:58: - And you're like these guys are untouchable.

01:26:58 - 01:27:01: But in their minds, they're a little insecure

01:27:01 - 01:27:03: about like do grown men respect their music?

01:27:03 - 01:27:05: - No, that's not the vibe I'm bringing, man.

01:27:05 - 01:27:07: I don't think of them as untouchable.

01:27:07 - 01:27:10: What I'm saying is I'm not a fan.

01:27:10 - 01:27:14: And what I'm saying is that's what I'm saying.

01:27:14 - 01:27:16: If I was like nervous and like thought these guys

01:27:16 - 01:27:18: were like amazing rock stars,

01:27:18 - 01:27:20: then it would be like an awkward, stilted interview.

01:27:20 - 01:27:25: What I'm saying is man to man, let's just talk Eagles.

01:27:25 - 01:27:28: - Okay, so just don't lead with the I'm not a fan part.

01:27:28 - 01:27:32: - Maybe just don't air this conversation

01:27:32 - 01:27:34: and you'll have a good chance.

01:27:34 - 01:27:36: - That's a good idea.

01:27:36 - 01:27:39: I think you just guaranteed that it will be aired though.

01:27:39 - 01:27:40: All right, let's go back to 1989.

01:27:40 - 01:27:42: Okay, we all know this song.

01:27:42 - 01:27:45: Bette Midler, this is from the Beaches soundtrack.

01:27:45 - 01:27:46: You don't like B words.

01:27:46 - 01:27:48: Are you cool with W words?

01:27:48 - 01:27:48: - Yeah, why?

01:27:48 - 01:27:52: - Like wind and wings?

01:27:52 - 01:27:53: - No, not anymore.

01:27:53 - 01:28:01: - I don't know if I know this.

01:28:01 - 01:28:06: ♪ It must have been cold there in my shadow ♪

01:28:06 - 01:28:07: - Bette Midler.

01:28:07 - 01:28:07: - Don't know it.

01:28:07 - 01:28:10: - Born December 1st, 1945.

01:28:10 - 01:28:11: - So unnecessary.

01:28:11 - 01:28:13: - In Honolulu.

01:28:13 - 01:28:15: - Interesting military family.

01:28:15 - 01:28:17: - When Hawaii was still a territory.

01:28:17 - 01:28:18: - Dude, right at World War.

01:28:18 - 01:28:19: - Kazzy, did you know that Bette Midler

01:28:19 - 01:28:21: wasn't even born in the state?

01:28:21 - 01:28:23: - I did not.

01:28:23 - 01:28:25: - She was born in territory.

01:28:25 - 01:28:26: As a young girl in Hawaii,

01:28:26 - 01:28:29: Bette worked at a pineapple processing plant.

01:28:29 - 01:28:30: - What?

01:28:30 - 01:28:31: - A what?

01:28:31 - 01:28:32: - This is blowing my mind.

01:28:32 - 01:28:32: - A pineapple plant?

01:28:32 - 01:28:34: - Did you two seriously didn't know

01:28:34 - 01:28:37: that Bette Midler worked at a pineapple processing plant

01:28:37 - 01:28:38: as a young girl in Hawaii?

01:28:38 - 01:28:38: - No.

01:28:38 - 01:28:40: - That's such a cute story.

01:28:40 - 01:28:42: Like I wanna have worked at a pineapple plant.

01:28:42 - 01:28:44: - That sounds brutal.

01:28:44 - 01:28:46: That sounds like the worst job ever.

01:28:47 - 01:28:47: - Depends what you're doing.

01:28:47 - 01:28:49: - That's a cute job.

01:28:49 - 01:28:51: - I'm picturing like a canning facility.

01:28:51 - 01:28:52: - That's cute.

01:28:52 - 01:28:53: - It's like a John Steinbeck novel.

01:28:53 - 01:28:56: You're like working 14 hour shifts and canning.

01:28:56 - 01:28:58: - Yeah, the canning aspect is kind of brutal.

01:28:58 - 01:29:01: - Just like dull pineapple on the shelf.

01:29:01 - 01:29:02: - All right guys, here comes the chorus.

01:29:02 - 01:29:03: - What is this?

01:29:03 - 01:29:07: ♪ Did you ever know that you're my hero ♪

01:29:07 - 01:29:09: - So her dad was like military straight up.

01:29:09 - 01:29:10: - Who knows?

01:29:10 - 01:29:13: - What if people live in Honolulu?

01:29:13 - 01:29:14: - No, but she's born,

01:29:14 - 01:29:16: she was conceived during World War II in Hawaii.

01:29:16 - 01:29:20: - That's good math.

01:29:20 - 01:29:21: - That's like, thank you.

01:29:21 - 01:29:26: But you know, that's like the Pacific Theater.

01:29:26 - 01:29:26: - That's true.

01:29:26 - 01:29:30: ♪ You are the wind beneath my wings ♪

01:29:30 - 01:29:32: - You know, this is a beautiful song.

01:29:32 - 01:29:35: The less than tasteful late 80s palette,

01:29:35 - 01:29:38: I don't love.

01:29:38 - 01:29:39: - Yeah, it's rough.

01:29:39 - 01:29:40: - You know what I would love to hear,

01:29:40 - 01:29:41: a wind beneath my wings,

01:29:41 - 01:29:43: with kind of the more tasteful 70s palette

01:29:43 - 01:29:45: of like a Harry Styles record.

01:29:45 - 01:29:46: - Or Niall even.

01:29:46 - 01:29:47: - Or even Niall.

01:29:47 - 01:29:50: - Niall would do a lovely version of this.

01:29:50 - 01:29:53: - So much reverb on everything.

01:29:53 - 01:29:55: Oh, the drums.

01:29:55 - 01:29:57: I wanna hear this dried out

01:29:57 - 01:30:01: with that kind of tasteful Niall Harry sound.

01:30:01 - 01:30:04: The number two song, back to Bieber.

01:30:04 - 01:30:06: This is a spoiler,

01:30:06 - 01:30:09: but Bieber's got three songs in the top five right now.

01:30:09 - 01:30:11: He's kind of the king of music.

01:30:11 - 01:30:13: This song is called "I'm the One".

01:30:13 - 01:30:14: - TJ Khaled, but Justin is-

01:30:14 - 01:30:15: - I hate this song.

01:30:15 - 01:30:16: - You hate this song?

01:30:16 - 01:30:16: - Yeah.

01:30:16 - 01:30:18: - As a Bieber fan, you hate two of his current singles?

01:30:18 - 01:30:19: - Yeah, it sucks.

01:30:19 - 01:30:20: - Wow.

01:30:20 - 01:30:21: - What sucks about it?

01:30:21 - 01:30:22: - It's really annoying.

01:30:22 - 01:30:23: - So he's peaked?

01:30:23 - 01:30:26: - No, I know he has more in him, obviously.

01:30:26 - 01:30:29: It's like bedrock, but not as good.

01:30:29 - 01:30:29: - Oh, bedrock, that was a good song.

01:30:29 - 01:30:31: - Bedrock was so dope.

01:30:31 - 01:30:33: And this is just the worst version of it.

01:30:33 - 01:30:35: - Yeah, they're both kind of like happy rap songs.

01:30:35 - 01:30:36: - Exactly.

01:30:41 - 01:30:44: ♪ We the best music ♪

01:30:44 - 01:30:46: - Nick loves it.

01:30:46 - 01:30:47: - That's pretty catchy.

01:30:47 - 01:30:49: - I don't mind it.

01:30:49 - 01:30:54: - It's really good in the headphones.

01:30:54 - 01:30:56: - Yeah, that synth bass is pretty good.

01:30:56 - 01:30:57: - Yeah.

01:31:09 - 01:31:11: - Justin Bieber writes his lyrics?

01:31:11 - 01:31:12: - No.

01:31:12 - 01:31:13: - No.

01:31:13 - 01:31:15: He should work with a different lyricist.

01:31:15 - 01:31:17: - In fact, Justin Bieber's not even credited

01:31:17 - 01:31:19: as the songwriter on this.

01:31:19 - 01:31:20: - That's so funny.

01:31:20 - 01:31:24: - So Jake, this song is gonna be on DJ Khaled's

01:31:24 - 01:31:26: fourth coming album, you know what the album's called?

01:31:26 - 01:31:27: - No.

01:31:27 - 01:31:28: - Grateful.

01:31:28 - 01:31:31: - That's so classic, though.

01:31:31 - 01:31:33: - Jake's a big Grateful Dead fan.

01:31:33 - 01:31:33: - Huge.

01:31:33 - 01:31:36: - Grateful Dead's just in the atmosphere right now.

01:31:36 - 01:31:36: - Oh, wow.

01:31:36 - 01:31:38: - That picture is so cute.

01:31:38 - 01:31:39: - That's a great cover.

01:31:39 - 01:31:40: - It's such a good cover.

01:31:40 - 01:31:42: - You're a fan of his son?

01:31:42 - 01:31:43: - I didn't know it was his son,

01:31:43 - 01:31:46: and I saw that picture and I was like, that's so cute.

01:31:46 - 01:31:50: But if you just imagine the placement of that happening,

01:31:50 - 01:31:51: trying to get that picture,

01:31:51 - 01:31:53: it's such a different experience.

01:31:53 - 01:31:54: - No, that's a really good point.

01:31:54 - 01:31:55: I'm sure you thought about this a lot,

01:31:55 - 01:31:58: 'cause your show is a lot about social media and stuff.

01:31:58 - 01:32:00: You see an image on Instagram,

01:32:00 - 01:32:01: and actually another one of the episodes

01:32:01 - 01:32:03: was kind of all about you trying to get somebody

01:32:03 - 01:32:06: to post a picture to make a point to your ex-boyfriend,

01:32:06 - 01:32:09: and it's funny, you could see a picture

01:32:09 - 01:32:11: and just take it at face value and be like, that's so cute.

01:32:11 - 01:32:15: Look at this gorgeous little baby in a pool.

01:32:15 - 01:32:17: And then if you take it one step deeper,

01:32:17 - 01:32:21: you're imagining parents of a three-month-old baby

01:32:21 - 01:32:23: placing him in a pool.

01:32:23 - 01:32:24: - Please put your arms up.

01:32:24 - 01:32:26: - Putting his arms down and being like,

01:32:26 - 01:32:28: hey, chill, chill, chill, hey, hey, hey.

01:32:28 - 01:32:29: - With the photo lights.

01:32:29 - 01:32:31: - Yeah, bright lights on the baby.

01:32:31 - 01:32:34: - So when are the bubbles going in the jacuzzi?

01:32:35 - 01:32:38: - Also, okay, I know they had to get the picture,

01:32:38 - 01:32:41: and I've never been a parent,

01:32:41 - 01:32:44: but I feel like babies in pools

01:32:44 - 01:32:47: seems like a really stressful situation.

01:32:47 - 01:32:48: I mean, it's really brutal.

01:32:48 - 01:32:50: You hear these horrible stories.

01:32:50 - 01:32:52: You know, even OJ's daughter in Brentwood,

01:32:52 - 01:32:54: he lost a child drowning in a pool.

01:32:54 - 01:32:55: It's awful. - Really?

01:32:55 - 01:32:56: - Yeah, it's awful, it's awful.

01:32:56 - 01:32:58: I'm not trying to bring down the whole vibe here.

01:32:58 - 01:32:59: - No, man. - I'm just saying--

01:32:59 - 01:33:00: - My whole day is ruined, honestly.

01:33:00 - 01:33:02: - It's super stressful, pools and kids.

01:33:04 - 01:33:05: I understand, right, Nick, you're a parent, right?

01:33:05 - 01:33:06: That's stressful.

01:33:06 - 01:33:08: - It makes me think of that Nirvana cover.

01:33:08 - 01:33:10: - Yeah, you see, exactly.

01:33:10 - 01:33:14: - And that kid is probably like 25 now, 26.

01:33:14 - 01:33:16: - I feel like every year he pops up,

01:33:16 - 01:33:17: they're like, really? - That kid has gotten

01:33:17 - 01:33:19: so much publicity. - I know, it's like--

01:33:19 - 01:33:20: - I don't even know. - Yeah, just for that.

01:33:20 - 01:33:23: - It's always like, it's the 19th anniversary of,

01:33:23 - 01:33:24: never mind. - It's the 20th.

01:33:24 - 01:33:26: - Let's catch up with the kid.

01:33:26 - 01:33:28: It's the 21st and a half anniversary.

01:33:28 - 01:33:30: - It's really-- - Let's catch up with the kid.

01:33:30 - 01:33:32: - We have different internet--

01:33:32 - 01:33:34: - I know, I've seen that so, I've been like,

01:33:34 - 01:33:36: I am so sick of this. - He recreates the picture

01:33:36 - 01:33:38: every year. - Does he really?

01:33:38 - 01:33:41: - Yeah. - Oh my God.

01:33:41 - 01:33:42: - I don't know. - Okay.

01:33:42 - 01:33:44: - I'm just saying, babies-- - I feel embarrassed

01:33:44 - 01:33:46: bringing it up. - Babies in pools

01:33:46 - 01:33:49: is stressful. - It's so stressful.

01:33:49 - 01:33:52: And you just like, everyone knows at least one story.

01:33:52 - 01:33:52: - Right. - Yeah, some horrible story.

01:33:52 - 01:33:56: - But I'm wondering about DJ Khaled.

01:33:56 - 01:33:59: I mean, you put a baby in a pool.

01:33:59 - 01:34:01: - Of course it's safe, nothing was gonna happen.

01:34:01 - 01:34:02: I'm not trying to put him on blast.

01:34:02 - 01:34:03: - I'm not worried about the kid.

01:34:03 - 01:34:07: What I'm saying is, how can you not think about Nirvana?

01:34:07 - 01:34:08: I mean, that's like-- - With the kid in the pool?

01:34:08 - 01:34:10: - One of the most iconic covers ever.

01:34:10 - 01:34:12: - Oh, well that's because Nirvana's less culturally relevant

01:34:12 - 01:34:15: than DJ Khaled in 2017, Jake.

01:34:15 - 01:34:17: Is that fair enough to say as a younger millennial?

01:34:17 - 01:34:19: - Well, I mean-- - No, I would just say

01:34:19 - 01:34:22: that he is above water in the art.

01:34:22 - 01:34:25: So just because there's water in it,

01:34:25 - 01:34:27: similar to the Seinfeld friends.

01:34:27 - 01:34:30: Your argument is-- - There's a lot in common

01:34:30 - 01:34:31: but they're very different shows.

01:34:31 - 01:34:33: - Yes. - And maybe, Jake,

01:34:33 - 01:34:35: in your opinion, DJ Khaled's album cover

01:34:35 - 01:34:35: is the friends of the situation.

01:34:35 - 01:34:38: - The baby looks so hood in this cover,

01:34:38 - 01:34:40: it's like nothing like it, almost.

01:34:40 - 01:34:41: - It's a very different vibe.

01:34:41 - 01:34:42: - Well, you're saying-- - Different atmosphere.

01:34:42 - 01:34:45: - Different tonally. - Very tonally different.

01:34:45 - 01:34:47: The number one song this week in 19--

01:34:47 - 01:34:48: - Damn it.

01:34:48 - 01:34:52: - What, Jake, it's the changing of the guard, man.

01:34:52 - 01:34:55: Kurt's gone, dude, 20 years.

01:34:55 - 01:34:57: - Kurt's gone, Jerry's gone.

01:34:57 - 01:35:00: - Jerry's gone, man, 2017.

01:35:00 - 01:35:02: - Kurt and Jerry died in consecutive years,

01:35:02 - 01:35:04: that's a rough run.

01:35:04 - 01:35:06: - And then Tupac and Biggie.

01:35:06 - 01:35:08: They're all gone, man.

01:35:08 - 01:35:12: All we got now is Niall and Justin, deal.

01:35:12 - 01:35:15: Justin is Jerry, Niall's Kurt.

01:35:15 - 01:35:17: It is what it is, man.

01:35:17 - 01:35:19: - That's such a sad thought.

01:35:19 - 01:35:20: - Okay, you know what, Jake?

01:35:20 - 01:35:22: Next time Niall Horan comes to town,

01:35:22 - 01:35:25: you and me are gonna take a tab of acid each

01:35:25 - 01:35:27: and just take it all in, man.

01:35:27 - 01:35:28: It's gonna be fun.

01:35:28 - 01:35:29: - In.

01:35:30 - 01:35:31: - Hundred.

01:35:31 - 01:35:34: - The number, what was it, Hundo P?

01:35:34 - 01:35:34: - Hundo P.

01:35:34 - 01:35:37: - Hundo P, my man, Hundo P.

01:35:37 - 01:35:40: The number one song this week in 1989.

01:35:40 - 01:35:41: Do you know New Kids on the Block?

01:35:41 - 01:35:42: - Yeah.

01:35:42 - 01:35:44: - Do you know New Kids on the Block?

01:35:44 - 01:35:45: - Yeah, of course.

01:35:45 - 01:35:48: - Boy bands, there's always a boy band.

01:35:48 - 01:35:49: - Will there always be boy bands, though?

01:35:49 - 01:35:50: - Write stuff, hang tough.

01:35:50 - 01:35:52: - You know, that's a good question.

01:35:52 - 01:35:53: By the time One Direction came out,

01:35:53 - 01:35:54: it almost seemed like--

01:35:54 - 01:35:55: - It was like weird.

01:35:55 - 01:35:56: - It was like people were like,

01:35:56 - 01:35:57: we don't need boy bands anymore.

01:35:57 - 01:36:00: We got Justin Bieber, we have--

01:36:00 - 01:36:03: - Well, I think the double of the Backstreet Boys

01:36:03 - 01:36:06: and NSYNC kinda killed it.

01:36:06 - 01:36:08: - It was too much, yeah.

01:36:08 - 01:36:09: - Too much at one time.

01:36:09 - 01:36:11: - I don't know this song.

01:36:11 - 01:36:15: - Again, a less than tasteful palette, I would say.

01:36:15 - 01:36:17: - I love the use of palette.

01:36:17 - 01:36:20: It's so hilarious. - That's a long-running thing.

01:36:20 - 01:36:23: Would you consider this a tasteful palette?

01:36:23 - 01:36:25: - I don't even know what that means.

01:36:26 - 01:36:28: - Well, the thing is, Jake loves the tasteful palette

01:36:28 - 01:36:32: of, say, 1970s rock, like The Eagles or something.

01:36:32 - 01:36:34: - Warm tones.

01:36:34 - 01:36:36: - Whereas Jake-- - I like it warm.

01:36:36 - 01:36:37: - Organic. - Yeah.

01:36:37 - 01:36:38: - It's very non-aggressive.

01:36:38 - 01:36:42: - Whereas Jake finds the Chainsmokers palette to be--

01:36:42 - 01:36:43: - Brittle, acidic.

01:36:43 - 01:36:45: - Not tasteful. - Dystopian.

01:36:45 - 01:36:46: - Dystopian.

01:36:46 - 01:36:48: - That's incredible.

01:36:48 - 01:36:53: Their last, Chainsmokers' last song, "Horrendous."

01:36:53 - 01:36:56: - "Paris" is the worst song I've ever heard in my life.

01:36:56 - 01:36:57: - What's it called?

01:36:57 - 01:36:59: - "Gone in Paris" to get away from your parents.

01:36:59 - 01:37:00: - Oh my God.

01:37:00 - 01:37:03: - Okay, here's the question. - Keep that "New Kids" going.

01:37:03 - 01:37:05: I wanna-- - Sorry, I--

01:37:05 - 01:37:08: - No, no, no, no, I wanna see where it goes.

01:37:08 - 01:37:10: This is the most mild music.

01:37:10 - 01:37:11: - And also, it's worth pointing out,

01:37:11 - 01:37:13: "New Kids on the Block" was basically,

01:37:13 - 01:37:15: you know, Bobby Brown was a new edition,

01:37:15 - 01:37:20: which was a group of all black tweens,

01:37:20 - 01:37:22: and "New Kids on the Block" is all white tweens,

01:37:22 - 01:37:25: and I'm pretty sure they're both from Boston.

01:37:25 - 01:37:27: - I thought "New Edition" was, really?

01:37:27 - 01:37:28: - No, no. - Okay, my bad.

01:37:28 - 01:37:30: - Maybe you're thinking of Boyz II Men.

01:37:30 - 01:37:31: "New Edition" is also from Boston.

01:37:31 - 01:37:34: And basically, "New Kids on the Block"

01:37:34 - 01:37:36: was somebody looking at "New Edition"

01:37:36 - 01:37:39: and saying, "I'm gonna make a white version of that."

01:37:39 - 01:37:40: - Yikes.

01:37:40 - 01:37:41: - And they did.

01:37:41 - 01:37:46: We don't need to keep, this song is nothing.

01:37:46 - 01:37:49: The "New Kids" had a couple gems, but not that one.

01:37:49 - 01:37:51: - When did Mark Wahlberg last listen to that song?

01:37:52 - 01:37:54: - Well, Mark Wahlberg was not in it.

01:37:54 - 01:37:56: His brother Donny. - I know, dude.

01:37:56 - 01:37:57: I know.

01:37:57 - 01:38:00: - I could imagine he had Donny over for a barbecue,

01:38:00 - 01:38:03: and he said to his wife, "Put that 'New Kids' ballad

01:38:03 - 01:38:05: "on the Sonos.

01:38:05 - 01:38:07: "I wanna bust Donny's balls."

01:38:07 - 01:38:10: - Summer 2009. (laughing)

01:38:10 - 01:38:12: - Yeah, July 4th, 2009.

01:38:12 - 01:38:16: Donny was like-- - Everyone's sober.

01:38:16 - 01:38:17: - Everyone's sober. (laughing)

01:38:17 - 01:38:20: - They're drinking. - They're drinking O'Doul's.

01:38:20 - 01:38:22: - Donny's like, "Hey, put on that new Kanye.

01:38:22 - 01:38:24: "I like Kanye, you like Kanye, Mark?

01:38:24 - 01:38:27: "You still keeping up with rap?"

01:38:27 - 01:38:28: And he's like, "Oh yeah.

01:38:28 - 01:38:30: "One second, Donny, I'll put on some Kanye."

01:38:30 - 01:38:33: Then he says to his wife, "But I'll be loving you forever

01:38:33 - 01:38:35: "on the Sonos, I wanna bust Donny's balls."

01:38:35 - 01:38:39: And then Donny's like, "Wait, wait, what's this?

01:38:39 - 01:38:42: "Oh my God, still busting my balls, Mark,

01:38:42 - 01:38:43: "for all these years."

01:38:43 - 01:38:47: The number one song

01:38:49 - 01:38:51: in 2017.

01:38:51 - 01:38:53: Increasingly, it seems that this song

01:38:53 - 01:38:55: is gonna define the summer.

01:38:55 - 01:38:57: The first summer of Trump.

01:38:57 - 01:38:59: I guess we could say there's some poetic justice

01:38:59 - 01:39:01: in that the first summer of Trump,

01:39:01 - 01:39:04: we have a mostly Spanish language song.

01:39:04 - 01:39:07: That's cool.

01:39:07 - 01:39:08: - Desperado? - That's awesome.

01:39:08 - 01:39:10: - No, Despacito.

01:39:10 - 01:39:11: And okay, so Kazzy, you were saying before,

01:39:11 - 01:39:13: Justin got in trouble.

01:39:13 - 01:39:14: What's the story?

01:39:14 - 01:39:16: - He was like singing in a club.

01:39:16 - 01:39:19: They gave him the mic to sing Despacito.

01:39:19 - 01:39:21: And then he started to sing it.

01:39:21 - 01:39:23: And then once it got to the Spanish verse,

01:39:23 - 01:39:26: he was like, "La, la, la, la, la, la, la, burrito."

01:39:26 - 01:39:28: Like, it was so, it's so bad.

01:39:28 - 01:39:31: Like, you watch it and you just can't stop laughing.

01:39:31 - 01:39:33: It's like really bad.

01:39:33 - 01:39:34: - And also, you know--

01:39:34 - 01:39:36: - So he just didn't remember the Spanish?

01:39:36 - 01:39:36: He like--

01:39:36 - 01:39:38: - No, he knows no Spanish.

01:39:38 - 01:39:39: - He just never knew them.

01:39:39 - 01:39:41: - But I thought he sang in Spanish in the song.

01:39:41 - 01:39:42: - No, no, no, he sings in English.

01:39:42 - 01:39:44: - No, he sings in Spanish.

01:39:44 - 01:39:47: - So this was, I think also the fact that people,

01:39:47 - 01:39:48: yeah, people were like.

01:39:48 - 01:39:50: (guitar music)

01:39:50 - 01:39:51: - Justin could have been--

01:39:51 - 01:39:51: - Great song.

01:39:51 - 01:39:53: - You're in?

01:39:53 - 01:39:54: - Yeah, I'm in.

01:39:54 - 01:39:55: - Okay, cool.

01:39:55 - 01:39:56: - This is a good song.

01:39:56 - 01:39:58: (guitar music)

01:39:58 - 01:40:02: - It's the king's English, man.

01:40:02 - 01:40:03: - I think it switches.

01:40:03 - 01:40:06: - I think he sings in Spanish, but he just learned it.

01:40:06 - 01:40:07: He coached up.

01:40:07 - 01:40:10: - He says one word in Spanish, the title of the song.

01:40:10 - 01:40:11: - Okay.

01:40:11 - 01:40:12: - That's not true.

01:40:12 - 01:40:14: - Wait, what else does he say in Spanish?

01:40:14 - 01:40:15: - I think we need to listen.

01:40:15 - 01:40:18: I remember him speaking Spanish in this.

01:40:18 - 01:40:21: - So what's he supposed to do, though, in the club

01:40:21 - 01:40:23: when the Spanish part comes out?

01:40:23 - 01:40:24: - What he did.

01:40:24 - 01:40:26: (guitar music)

01:40:26 - 01:40:32: - That's not Justin, though, obviously.

01:40:32 - 01:40:34: As a professional musician, I can tell you guys,

01:40:34 - 01:40:36: that's not Justin singing anymore.

01:40:36 - 01:40:37: I believe that's the response he--

01:40:37 - 01:40:40: - I think the chorus is more than that.

01:40:40 - 01:40:43: The video's hilarious.

01:40:43 - 01:40:46: (singing in Spanish)

01:40:46 - 01:40:55: - That's Justin.

01:40:55 - 01:40:56: Oh, he's doubling the guy.

01:40:56 - 01:40:57: Okay, you guys are right.

01:40:57 - 01:41:00: The problem is that we wanna believe

01:41:00 - 01:41:02: that people from different countries can come together

01:41:02 - 01:41:06: to do hot remixes to become the songs of the summer,

01:41:06 - 01:41:09: and we wanna believe that there's mutual respect happening.

01:41:09 - 01:41:12: I don't know, so just like making jokes

01:41:12 - 01:41:15: about, I guess he kept saying the phrase Dorito

01:41:15 - 01:41:16: when he was singing.

01:41:16 - 01:41:17: - Yeah.

01:41:17 - 01:41:20: - That's like some juvenile 22-year-old humor.

01:41:20 - 01:41:21: - He wasn't joking.

01:41:21 - 01:41:23: I think it was the only thing he could think of

01:41:23 - 01:41:25: that ended in O.

01:41:25 - 01:41:28: - And as we know, Doritos are an American product,

01:41:28 - 01:41:30: so it's not even--

01:41:30 - 01:41:32: - Freed away.

01:41:32 - 01:41:34: - Do you think this is the song of the summer, though?

01:41:34 - 01:41:36: - It seems like we have no choice.

01:41:36 - 01:41:37: Is this your song of the summer?

01:41:37 - 01:41:40: - I thought "Slide" was gonna be the song of the summer.

01:41:40 - 01:41:41: - What's that?

01:41:41 - 01:41:42: - Oh, Calvin Harris?

01:41:42 - 01:41:43: - "Slide" is pretty cool.

01:41:43 - 01:41:46: - No, it's too cool to be the song of the summer.

01:41:46 - 01:41:46: - Too cool?

01:41:46 - 01:41:48: - I like the other one with Ariana Grande, too.

01:41:48 - 01:41:49: Is that what that's called?

01:41:49 - 01:41:49: - Which one?

01:41:49 - 01:41:52: - It's called "Heat Wave" or something.

01:41:52 - 01:41:54: - Oh, I haven't heard that.

01:41:54 - 01:41:55: - "Despacito" is the song of the summer.

01:41:55 - 01:41:57: There's nothing that any of us can do about it.

01:41:57 - 01:41:59: - It's been number one for a few weeks.

01:41:59 - 01:42:00: - It's been number one.

01:42:00 - 01:42:00: It's the song of the summer.

01:42:00 - 01:42:02: - It's still early in the summer.

01:42:02 - 01:42:04: - It's true.

01:42:04 - 01:42:05: - It could change.

01:42:05 - 01:42:06: - Get it done.

01:42:06 - 01:42:09: - "Lean On," was that not the song of the summer?

01:42:09 - 01:42:10: - It kinda was the song of the summer.

01:42:10 - 01:42:13: - I guess it's different as a top one in your mind

01:42:13 - 01:42:15: what really the song of the summer is.

01:42:15 - 01:42:18: - As I get older, the summer means nothing to me.

01:42:18 - 01:42:20: Maybe just 'cause I've been in LA so much.

01:42:20 - 01:42:22: It's like when people talk about it's June

01:42:22 - 01:42:25: and it's the beginning of summer.

01:42:25 - 01:42:27: Who cares?

01:42:27 - 01:42:29: - I was back in DC last weekend.

01:42:29 - 01:42:30: It felt like summer.

01:42:30 - 01:42:33: - Just that humid East Coast?

01:42:33 - 01:42:34: - Oh, yeah.

01:42:34 - 01:42:37: - So now that you're out of college,

01:42:37 - 01:42:39: does summer mean anything to you?

01:42:39 - 01:42:41: And you live in Los Angeles?

01:42:41 - 01:42:44: - This is my second summer since college.

01:42:44 - 01:42:47: So I haven't really gotten there yet.

01:42:47 - 01:42:50: Summer still is feeling like summer.

01:42:50 - 01:42:51: - This is exciting.

01:42:51 - 01:42:53: It's exciting that it's summer.

01:42:53 - 01:42:54: - Yeah.

01:42:54 - 01:42:55: - And when I was 23,

01:42:55 - 01:42:57: did I still get excited about the summer?

01:42:57 - 01:42:59: - I don't ever really get excited about anything,

01:42:59 - 01:43:01: but it's like, oh, summer.

01:43:01 - 01:43:03: - But once or twice this summer,

01:43:03 - 01:43:05: you're gonna call up everybody,

01:43:05 - 01:43:08: jump in the car, go to Sweet Rose, blast "Despacito."

01:43:08 - 01:43:09: - Totally.

01:43:09 - 01:43:09: - That's gonna happen.

01:43:09 - 01:43:10: - That's in my future, yes.

01:43:10 - 01:43:12: - Do you go to clubs and dance?

01:43:12 - 01:43:15: - Like once a year,

01:43:15 - 01:43:18: and then I'm always like, I'm never doing that again.

01:43:18 - 01:43:20: And then the next year I'll forget.

01:43:20 - 01:43:21: - And do you hold things in your hand?

01:43:21 - 01:43:22: 'Cause this is something we were talking about.

01:43:22 - 01:43:24: - Yeah, I got, I'm like, will hold like-

01:43:24 - 01:43:26: - Double fists?

01:43:26 - 01:43:28: - That would be even more comfortable.

01:43:28 - 01:43:30: I really try not to smoke.

01:43:30 - 01:43:33: And when I'm like out, I just like, can't not do it.

01:43:33 - 01:43:36: I feel so embarrassed even be out somewhere

01:43:36 - 01:43:37: that I have to be doing something.

01:43:37 - 01:43:38: - Do you smoke cigarettes at the club?

01:43:38 - 01:43:39: - I really try not to.

01:43:39 - 01:43:42: - You can't smoke in the club though, can you?

01:43:42 - 01:43:42: - No.

01:43:42 - 01:43:43: - Maybe, I don't know, maybe you go underground.

01:43:43 - 01:43:45: - I do sometimes, yeah.

01:43:45 - 01:43:47: - Okay, so you're at the club, feeling uncomfortable

01:43:47 - 01:43:49: 'cause you don't like to dance at the club.

01:43:49 - 01:43:49: - Yeah.

01:43:49 - 01:43:50: - So to make up for the discomfort,

01:43:50 - 01:43:52: you got a cigarette, lit cigarette in your mouth.

01:43:52 - 01:43:53: - And a drink.

01:43:53 - 01:43:54: - And a drink in each hand.

01:43:54 - 01:43:56: - And I hate doing both those things.

01:43:56 - 01:43:59: - And you're just kinda swaying, or you're doing moves?

01:43:59 - 01:44:03: - Yeah, I mean, sometimes I'll take a Xanax

01:44:03 - 01:44:04: if I have to go out.

01:44:04 - 01:44:05: - Whoa.

01:44:05 - 01:44:07: - Yeah, so I can just do it,

01:44:07 - 01:44:11: pretend to be someone else for a night.

01:44:11 - 01:44:13: So I get sometimes comfortable enough

01:44:13 - 01:44:17: to dance like the other girls.

01:44:17 - 01:44:17: - Right.

01:44:17 - 01:44:21: - Yeah, but it's an embarrassing sight.

01:44:21 - 01:44:24: If you walk in there sober, you're like, what is this?

01:44:24 - 01:44:25: What are we all doing?

01:44:25 - 01:44:29: - I feel like I need to definitely be lit, as they say.

01:44:29 - 01:44:30: - Where are the clubs in LA?

01:44:30 - 01:44:32: - Like West Hollywood?

01:44:33 - 01:44:35: - Man, Nice Guy, Bootsy Bellows.

01:44:35 - 01:44:37: - Are they on Sunset in West Hollywood?

01:44:37 - 01:44:39: - Bootsy Bellows is on Sunset, but it's like--

01:44:39 - 01:44:42: - Bootsy is so cracking, it's like--

01:44:42 - 01:44:46: - That's like a Models and Bottles club, club, billionaires.

01:44:46 - 01:44:50: - Everyone has extensions, everyone's naked.

01:44:50 - 01:44:51: Not actually naked, but--

01:44:51 - 01:44:52: - So, okay, okay, so--

01:44:52 - 01:44:53: - And that's also--

01:44:53 - 01:44:54: - Can I just roll in there?

01:44:54 - 01:44:56: Or is it the kinda thing that--

01:44:56 - 01:44:59: - You honestly, it's so hard to get in.

01:44:59 - 01:45:02: I couldn't get in one time, the only time I went,

01:45:02 - 01:45:03: and it was so embarrassing,

01:45:03 - 01:45:05: and then everyone's just waiting outside,

01:45:05 - 01:45:06: 'cause they all--

01:45:06 - 01:45:07: - Oh, because they're your friends in?

01:45:07 - 01:45:08: - Tried to go in, yeah.

01:45:08 - 01:45:10: - Is it just based on a, is it like a TV show?

01:45:10 - 01:45:12: Is it like Sex and the City, where it's like,

01:45:12 - 01:45:14: there's a guy that's like judging you,

01:45:14 - 01:45:15: and then you can't get in?

01:45:15 - 01:45:16: - I think it's like, it's at the point

01:45:16 - 01:45:19: where you need a connection to someone

01:45:19 - 01:45:21: who has a table inside to get in the club.

01:45:21 - 01:45:22: - I got two questions, did you consider

01:45:22 - 01:45:23: dropping your father's name?

01:45:23 - 01:45:26: And if you did, even if the guy was like,

01:45:26 - 01:45:29: just imagine like the guy at the door is a huge Curb fan,

01:45:29 - 01:45:31: and he's like, that's awesome, I love Curb,

01:45:31 - 01:45:35: I don't see the connection between coming to Bootsy Bellows.

01:45:35 - 01:45:36: - Yeah, yeah.

01:45:36 - 01:45:38: - Yeah, no, I would literally never do that.

01:45:38 - 01:45:41: But one time my friend literally was like,

01:45:41 - 01:45:44: dropped it without asking, even though I don't know

01:45:44 - 01:45:46: why you would even ever do that.

01:45:46 - 01:45:49: And they were like, I have no idea who the (beep) that is,

01:45:49 - 01:45:50: like, please.

01:45:50 - 01:45:51: It was so, it was humiliating.

01:45:51 - 01:45:54: - No, because the truth is, you can strike out

01:45:54 - 01:45:57: big league when you drop a name, because--

01:45:57 - 01:45:59: - You're really putting yourself out there.

01:45:59 - 01:46:00: - You're really putting yourself out there.

01:46:00 - 01:46:01: - It's awkward. - It is so awful.

01:46:01 - 01:46:03: 'Cause also you're making an assumption

01:46:03 - 01:46:06: about the other person, that even if you drop

01:46:06 - 01:46:08: like a sick name, like a great name

01:46:08 - 01:46:10: of a talented, amazing person--

01:46:10 - 01:46:11: - Dr. Dre.

01:46:11 - 01:46:14: - Dr. Dre, you're also making the assumption--

01:46:14 - 01:46:15: - I'm rolling up in a polar fleece.

01:46:15 - 01:46:16: - Yeah.

01:46:16 - 01:46:18: - Because maybe that person is just like deeply--

01:46:18 - 01:46:19: - 40 year old white guy. - Ingalitarian.

01:46:19 - 01:46:21: - But being, what you're saying is like,

01:46:21 - 01:46:23: you're saying like, it's the most--

01:46:23 - 01:46:25: - Honestly, I feel like this probably happened

01:46:25 - 01:46:26: on Curb Your Enthusiasm, it's also like,

01:46:26 - 01:46:29: you try to drop a name, 'cause maybe the person says,

01:46:29 - 01:46:30: I'm really sorry, we're full, and then you say,

01:46:30 - 01:46:33: well, blah, blah, blah, and then they might,

01:46:33 - 01:46:34: if it's very possible, they might be like,

01:46:34 - 01:46:36: that's great, but as I said, we're full.

01:46:36 - 01:46:37: What are you trying to do here?

01:46:37 - 01:46:39: I mean, I don't know, what are you gonna say?

01:46:39 - 01:46:40: - I'm on Time Crisis.

01:46:40 - 01:46:41: (static)

01:46:41 - 01:46:46: - You're listening to Time Crisis on Beat One.

01:46:46 - 01:46:49: - What's a cover at a club like that?

01:46:49 - 01:46:51: - What do you mean, the cover?

01:46:51 - 01:46:52: - Like the cover charge.

01:46:52 - 01:46:53: - I think there is no cover.

01:46:53 - 01:46:53: - Oh, no, no, no, there's no cover.

01:46:53 - 01:46:54: - Probably not for women, right?

01:46:54 - 01:46:55: - Yeah, no.

01:46:55 - 01:46:57: - Maybe for guys.

01:46:57 - 01:46:59: - What about? (laughs)

01:46:59 - 01:47:00: - Well, because they make all their money

01:47:00 - 01:47:01: from bottle service, yeah.

01:47:01 - 01:47:03: - What if you and I just tried to go to this club,

01:47:03 - 01:47:04: what's it called?

01:47:04 - 01:47:05: - Bootsy Bellows.

01:47:05 - 01:47:07: - Okay, we tried to go there on a Saturday night,

01:47:07 - 01:47:08: just you and me.

01:47:08 - 01:47:10: - Okay, and I'm not making any phone calls or anything?

01:47:10 - 01:47:11: - No, no, yeah, no phone calls.

01:47:11 - 01:47:12: - Just showing off.

01:47:12 - 01:47:14: - But we're dressed appropriately, we're like wearing

01:47:14 - 01:47:16: whatever, like a suit, whatever you're supposed to wear.

01:47:16 - 01:47:17: - What time are you going?

01:47:17 - 01:47:19: - We're wearing going out shirts.

01:47:19 - 01:47:20: - Yeah.

01:47:20 - 01:47:23: I don't know, what's like 11.30 on a Saturday night?

01:47:23 - 01:47:25: - And we just get in line and wait,

01:47:25 - 01:47:27: we're gonna wait there all night, that's my gut.

01:47:27 - 01:47:28: - Yeah.

01:47:28 - 01:47:29: - Well, okay, okay.

01:47:29 - 01:47:30: - We're not getting in.

01:47:30 - 01:47:32: - What if the movie could make?

01:47:32 - 01:47:35: - The move we could make is, I would put out an APB,

01:47:35 - 01:47:38: I don't know, I'm honestly not sure.

01:47:38 - 01:47:40: First I'd hit up my manager saying,

01:47:40 - 01:47:42: me and Jake really wanna go to Bootsy Bellows.

01:47:42 - 01:47:44: - It's Jake's 41st birthday, he really wants to.

01:47:44 - 01:47:47: - And he wants to go solo with me to Bootsy Bellows.

01:47:47 - 01:47:49: I would hit up that, you know who I would hit up?

01:47:49 - 01:47:51: My trainer.

01:47:51 - 01:47:52: - Oh, no way.

01:47:52 - 01:47:55: - He's like a going out type guy, Fred.

01:47:55 - 01:47:56: - He's into it.

01:47:56 - 01:48:00: - I would text Fred like, Fred, two questions,

01:48:00 - 01:48:02: can you do 10.30 on Monday?

01:48:02 - 01:48:04: And also, can you get me in front of the Bootsy Bellows?

01:48:04 - 01:48:06: - That's a bit of a stretch.

01:48:06 - 01:48:11: - People really, they'll say anything to get in.

01:48:11 - 01:48:12: - For what?

01:48:12 - 01:48:13: - I've witnessed like crazy things.

01:48:13 - 01:48:15: - So you've been once?

01:48:15 - 01:48:16: - To Bootsy?

01:48:16 - 01:48:16: - Yeah, Bootsy.

01:48:16 - 01:48:18: - I know, I lied, I've been a few times.

01:48:18 - 01:48:19: - I mean, you're calling it.

01:48:19 - 01:48:20: - I've been like maybe three times.

01:48:20 - 01:48:22: - You're calling it by just part of its name.

01:48:22 - 01:48:23: - That's how you do it.

01:48:23 - 01:48:26: - You're on a first name basis with Bootsy.

01:48:26 - 01:48:27: - It's two Bs, it's a hard one.

01:48:27 - 01:48:29: I have to stick with the one.

01:48:29 - 01:48:33: No, people, yeah, I don't remember what I was saying.

01:48:33 - 01:48:35: - People say the craziest things to get in.

01:48:35 - 01:48:37: - Yeah, yeah.

01:48:37 - 01:48:39: And then there's like the times where like they're getting,

01:48:39 - 01:48:42: girls are getting kicked out and they can't speak

01:48:42 - 01:48:43: and they're still trying to get back in.

01:48:43 - 01:48:44: - Oh, 'cause they're hammered?

01:48:44 - 01:48:45: Is that why they're getting kicked out?

01:48:45 - 01:48:47: - Please, everyone.

01:48:47 - 01:48:51: - And when you go to these clubs,

01:48:51 - 01:48:54: they're super crowded, they're loud.

01:48:54 - 01:48:55: - Yeah.

01:48:55 - 01:48:56: - This is what's happening.

01:48:56 - 01:48:57: So let's say we got in.

01:48:57 - 01:48:58: - Are they playing the chain smokers?

01:48:58 - 01:48:59: - Yeah, let's just play this out.

01:48:59 - 01:49:02: - They might, they might have a more tasteful DJ.

01:49:02 - 01:49:03: But let's say we actually got in.

01:49:03 - 01:49:05: It's me, you, and my trainer.

01:49:05 - 01:49:07: - Can I come?

01:49:07 - 01:49:08: - Yeah.

01:49:08 - 01:49:08: - Me, you, my trainer, and Kazzy.

01:49:08 - 01:49:09: - Thank you.

01:49:09 - 01:49:10: - It's the four of us rolling in.

01:49:10 - 01:49:12: - She avoids dropping her father's name.

01:49:12 - 01:49:14: - She avoids dropping her father's name.

01:49:14 - 01:49:17: We get in, it was all about the trainer.

01:49:17 - 01:49:18: He got us in.

01:49:18 - 01:49:20: And then we're just in there.

01:49:20 - 01:49:23: I'm like, you guys want a drink?

01:49:23 - 01:49:24: You're like, what man?

01:49:24 - 01:49:26: And I'm like, you want a drink?

01:49:26 - 01:49:29: And then you don't see me for 30 minutes.

01:49:29 - 01:49:31: And then it's just like the three of you sit.

01:49:31 - 01:49:32: Like literally, this is what happens.

01:49:32 - 01:49:34: - Are we standing or are we trying to get a table?

01:49:34 - 01:49:35: - This is so accurate.

01:49:35 - 01:49:36: - You're standing, kind of looking for a place.

01:49:36 - 01:49:39: - Also like, good people are touching you.

01:49:39 - 01:49:41: - Yeah, you're getting pushed by all these people.

01:49:41 - 01:49:42: Like there's a lot of skin.

01:49:42 - 01:49:45: People are just like, people are like treating you like dirt.

01:49:45 - 01:49:46: - Are you dancing?

01:49:46 - 01:49:47: - Well, see here's the thing.

01:49:47 - 01:49:49: - No, because you're not even in a place where you can dance

01:49:49 - 01:49:52: 'cause we're in the entrance still

01:49:52 - 01:49:53: 'cause it's so crowded.

01:49:53 - 01:49:54: - Right.

01:49:54 - 01:49:56: - We're on the perimeter of the thing.

01:49:56 - 01:49:57: So I'm getting a drink.

01:49:57 - 01:49:59: Like maybe my trainer's on the,

01:49:59 - 01:50:01: he's actually like having a good time.

01:50:01 - 01:50:03: So then it's just you and Kazzy now.

01:50:03 - 01:50:03: And then you're kind of like,

01:50:03 - 01:50:05: neither one of you are dancing that much.

01:50:05 - 01:50:07: You're like, so yeah.

01:50:07 - 01:50:09: You're trying to have a conversation like,

01:50:09 - 01:50:11: this is funny, what?

01:50:11 - 01:50:11: It's like crazy.

01:50:11 - 01:50:14: - It's like, you can't talk, you can't dance

01:50:14 - 01:50:15: 'cause it's like embarrassing.

01:50:15 - 01:50:16: What are you gonna do?

01:50:16 - 01:50:17: - What are you dropping on those drinks?

01:50:17 - 01:50:20: You're getting drinks for you, me, Kazzy and the trainer.

01:50:20 - 01:50:22: - It'll probably be $40.

01:50:22 - 01:50:23: - Yeah, what do you want?

01:50:23 - 01:50:24: - That's it?

01:50:24 - 01:50:24: - No, it's gonna be more than 40.

01:50:24 - 01:50:26: - Really? - What do you want?

01:50:26 - 01:50:27: - A vodka soda.

01:50:27 - 01:50:28: - What do you want, Jake?

01:50:28 - 01:50:30: - Tequila on the rocks.

01:50:30 - 01:50:31: - Okay.

01:50:31 - 01:50:32: - Not Patron, like Well.

01:50:32 - 01:50:33: - On Yeho?

01:50:33 - 01:50:34: - Well tequila. - Well tequila?

01:50:34 - 01:50:35: - Yeah. - All right.

01:50:35 - 01:50:37: It's probably gonna be 13 each.

01:50:37 - 01:50:39: - That's not terrible.

01:50:39 - 01:50:40: - Maybe more, maybe like 15.

01:50:40 - 01:50:42: - What's bottle service?

01:50:42 - 01:50:42: What is that?

01:50:42 - 01:50:45: - Bottle service is when you charge

01:50:45 - 01:50:49: for a bottle that would cost $40 at Costco,

01:50:49 - 01:50:52: you charge 12 to 1500.

01:50:52 - 01:50:53: And occasionally--

01:50:53 - 01:50:54: - Solid markup.

01:50:54 - 01:50:55: - So the way that clubs make money

01:50:55 - 01:50:57: is not from the schlubs like us,

01:50:57 - 01:51:00: pushing our way in to drop 100 bucks.

01:51:00 - 01:51:02: It's by they give a table to somebody

01:51:02 - 01:51:04: who will bring out,

01:51:04 - 01:51:06: they bring out the champagne with sparklers on it,

01:51:06 - 01:51:10: and they might be like, order a fancy champagne.

01:51:10 - 01:51:12: Maybe that, you know,

01:51:12 - 01:51:13: get the occasional person in Bootsy Bellows

01:51:13 - 01:51:16: who probably single-handedly drops $50,000.

01:51:16 - 01:51:17: That probably happens every weekend.

01:51:17 - 01:51:19: - Worth it. - A couple times.

01:51:19 - 01:51:20: It's worth it.

01:51:20 - 01:51:20: So we're just in there,

01:51:20 - 01:51:22: packed like sardines. - It's worth it.

01:51:22 - 01:51:22: - I just like come,

01:51:22 - 01:51:25: we're just like awkwardly drinking these things,

01:51:25 - 01:51:26: kind of dancing,

01:51:26 - 01:51:28: but we don't even have room to dance.

01:51:28 - 01:51:30: And then best case scenario,

01:51:30 - 01:51:33: we see Leonardo DiCaprio sitting on the top

01:51:33 - 01:51:38: of one of the benches in a booth.

01:51:38 - 01:51:39: That's it, kind of.

01:51:39 - 01:51:40: - Best case.

01:51:40 - 01:51:41: - That's best case scenario.

01:51:41 - 01:51:42: - No, he would never be there.

01:51:42 - 01:51:44: It would be more like someone like,

01:51:44 - 01:51:47: I once saw Chase Crawford there.

01:51:47 - 01:51:50: That's like the most famous person I've seen at a club.

01:51:50 - 01:51:51: I like a Bootsy club.

01:51:51 - 01:51:53: - Maybe Drake has been to Bootsy Bellows.

01:51:53 - 01:51:54: I mean, that's like, yeah, maybe not everything.

01:51:54 - 01:51:55: - Really?

01:51:55 - 01:51:56: - Yeah. - I guess I don't.

01:51:56 - 01:51:59: I feel like Leo is like so past the club scene.

01:51:59 - 01:52:01: Maybe he just hasn't been single in a while.

01:52:01 - 01:52:03: - I've seen Leo at art openings.

01:52:03 - 01:52:04: - Oh yeah? - Oh yeah.

01:52:04 - 01:52:06: - That's more a scene. - So you already saw Leo.

01:52:06 - 01:52:07: You already saw Leo.

01:52:07 - 01:52:08: It's not gonna be fun.

01:52:08 - 01:52:11: - 50 grand?

01:52:11 - 01:52:15: More than like a public school teacher's salary for a year.

01:52:15 - 01:52:18: - Yeah, man. - On like champagne.

01:52:18 - 01:52:18: - I've been trying to tell you, man.

01:52:18 - 01:52:19: - And like nachos.

01:52:19 - 01:52:22: - The millionaires and the billionaires

01:52:22 - 01:52:24: are out having fun at Bootsy Bellows

01:52:24 - 01:52:26: while the average American.

01:52:26 - 01:52:28: - That's why the terrorists hate us.

01:52:28 - 01:52:30: - Yeah, I mean, it's not a good look.

01:52:30 - 01:52:31: - It's a terrible look.

01:52:31 - 01:52:33: - And then like, so then we're in there for a while.

01:52:33 - 01:52:34: - I just don't understand.

01:52:34 - 01:52:39: Even if I had like $80 million in my checking account,

01:52:39 - 01:52:42: I still can't conceive of like dropping 50K.

01:52:42 - 01:52:43: - But they don't even know how much

01:52:43 - 01:52:46: they're gonna be spending until after the bill comes

01:52:46 - 01:52:48: because they'll keep bringing bottles

01:52:48 - 01:52:50: of girls at their table are like drinking.

01:52:50 - 01:52:54: If they drink more, there's like 20 people at the table.

01:52:54 - 01:52:55: All the drinks will be gone.

01:52:55 - 01:52:57: So then they'll keep bringing drinks.

01:52:57 - 01:52:59: - They literally might have a friend cruising around

01:52:59 - 01:53:02: to get like all the hot girls to come sit at the table.

01:53:02 - 01:53:03: - But then they end up paying more.

01:53:03 - 01:53:05: - This must happen where some guy's not loaded.

01:53:05 - 01:53:06: Some guy's fronting when he's loaded.

01:53:06 - 01:53:08: - It happens all the time.

01:53:08 - 01:53:11: - And then he's just like rolling with the momentum.

01:53:11 - 01:53:14: And then the bill comes and it's like 34,000

01:53:14 - 01:53:17: and he's got like 60 bucks in his checking account.

01:53:17 - 01:53:19: Like how does that play out?

01:53:19 - 01:53:20: - I don't know.

01:53:20 - 01:53:22: Maybe they just like, they beat him up.

01:53:22 - 01:53:24: - What?

01:53:24 - 01:53:25: Cool business plan.

01:53:25 - 01:53:27: - You try to split it with like everyone

01:53:27 - 01:53:28: who's at the table.

01:53:28 - 01:53:30: Everyone would be so confused.

01:53:30 - 01:53:32: No one's ever had to split anything before.

01:53:32 - 01:53:36: - Debit cards, just like 16 different debit cards

01:53:36 - 01:53:38: at like 2.15 in the morning.

01:53:38 - 01:53:41: Everyone's putting like 1200 bucks on a debit card.

01:53:41 - 01:53:42: - Oh God.

01:53:42 - 01:53:44: Yeah, that's best case scenario.

01:53:44 - 01:53:46: Then we're walking out of there at 2 AM.

01:53:47 - 01:53:48: Ears ringing.

01:53:48 - 01:53:51: - You hungry?

01:53:51 - 01:53:54: - Yeah, then we're going to Mel's.

01:53:54 - 01:53:58: Just get a cheeseburger at Mel's.

01:53:58 - 01:53:59: Yeah, I don't get it.

01:53:59 - 01:54:00: - Crazy.

01:54:00 - 01:54:02: - And it's not fun.

01:54:02 - 01:54:02: - It's not fun.

01:54:02 - 01:54:06: And I think even like, even people who love to dance,

01:54:06 - 01:54:07: that's not where they wanna go.

01:54:07 - 01:54:09: That's not where you're gonna have a good time.

01:54:09 - 01:54:11: We should start at a club night.

01:54:11 - 01:54:12: I think it'd be a good way

01:54:12 - 01:54:14: to make some off the books money.

01:54:14 - 01:54:15: I bet there's a lot of people in LA.

01:54:15 - 01:54:16: - That's a really good idea.

01:54:16 - 01:54:17: - Oh, like a time crisis club night?

01:54:17 - 01:54:19: - We should do a time crisis club night

01:54:19 - 01:54:21: for people who don't like the chain smokers

01:54:21 - 01:54:24: and wanna dance to the more tasteful palette of 70s rock.

01:54:24 - 01:54:25: - What's our venue?

01:54:25 - 01:54:26: Like an all ages club?

01:54:26 - 01:54:27: - I'll find some place.

01:54:27 - 01:54:31: And then we're doing a $20 Modelo's.

01:54:31 - 01:54:34: - Still not chill.

01:54:34 - 01:54:36: - And the night will be called $20 Modelo.

01:54:36 - 01:54:37: It'll be like a thing.

01:54:37 - 01:54:39: It'll be kind of fun.

01:54:39 - 01:54:40: We even like slap a sticker on it

01:54:40 - 01:54:41: so you can do an Instagram

01:54:41 - 01:54:43: like a view of your $20 Modelo.

01:54:43 - 01:54:44: - I think we do free beer, dude.

01:54:44 - 01:54:45: - Free beer?

01:54:46 - 01:54:48: - I think we throw like a kegger.

01:54:48 - 01:54:49: - So you're gonna have just guys in there.

01:54:49 - 01:54:50: - This is it.

01:54:50 - 01:54:51: Okay, you're right.

01:54:51 - 01:54:54: - We really need to widen the attraction.

01:54:54 - 01:54:56: - Okay, this is a good idea.

01:54:56 - 01:54:57: I'm glad we had this brainstorming,

01:54:57 - 01:55:00: this brainstorm sesh.

01:55:00 - 01:55:01: Time crisis club night.

01:55:01 - 01:55:02: - I'm in.

01:55:02 - 01:55:05: - We gotta do one club night

01:55:05 - 01:55:09: to get Jake's guitar out of the pawn shop

01:55:09 - 01:55:13: so that he can rip a solo on the Vampire Weekend album.

01:55:13 - 01:55:15: That's the plot.

01:55:15 - 01:55:15: - Love it.

01:55:15 - 01:55:18: - Jake had to pawn his beloved Strat.

01:55:18 - 01:55:21: We gotta throw one sick club night to get it unpawned.

01:55:21 - 01:55:26: Okay, Kazzy, thank you so much for coming through.

01:55:26 - 01:55:27: - Thank you for having me.

01:55:27 - 01:55:27: - To Time Crisis.

01:55:27 - 01:55:30: Everybody gotta check out 86.

01:55:30 - 01:55:31: You just go to YouTube.

01:55:31 - 01:55:32: You don't need to go to anywhere else, right?

01:55:32 - 01:55:34: - Yeah, you can just go on YouTube.

01:55:34 - 01:55:35: - Google Kazzy.

01:55:35 - 01:55:36: That's her full name.

01:55:36 - 01:55:37: David, you'll find it.

01:55:37 - 01:55:39: Come back sometime.

01:55:39 - 01:55:39: - I would love to.

01:55:39 - 01:55:40: This was a blast.

01:55:40 - 01:55:43: - We really appreciate having you here.

01:55:43 - 01:55:45: As I reflect on the show today,

01:55:45 - 01:55:47: I don't feel as strongly about boycotting Wendy's,

01:55:47 - 01:55:49: but I don't know.

01:55:49 - 01:55:51: Let's readdress on the next episode.

01:55:51 - 01:55:54: - Let's talk to that guy if possible.

01:55:54 - 01:55:56: - Let's get that guy's side of the story.

01:55:56 - 01:55:57: - Wendy's fish and chips.

01:55:57 - 01:56:00: - Let's talk to the Wendy's guy over there in Belgium.

01:56:00 - 01:56:03: Okay, everybody, thanks for listening.

01:56:03 - 01:56:04: We'll be back in two weeks.

01:56:04 - 01:56:09: - You're listening to Time Crisis on Beat One.

01:56:09 - 01:56:11: Squad!

Episode 45: POP Quiz with Cazzie David

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