Episode 46: The Dorito Effect
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Transcript
Time Crisis, the first week of summer 2017.
I'll be joined by Jake in the studio, as we discuss the Roger Waters concert we saw a few days ago.
We'll also speak with Mark Schatzker, author of The Dorito Effect,
as well as Kenny, a Time Crisis listener who's going to bring some youthful enthusiasm to the program.
All this, plus the top ten songs of the summer.
Mask off, this is Time Crisis with Ezra King.
Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.
Spawn in one.
They pass me by, all of those great romances.
They were a first for me, all my rightful chances.
My picture clear, everything seemed so easy.
And so I dealt you the blow, one of us had to go.
Now it's different, I want you to know.
One of us is crying, one of us is lying.
We're the lonely men.
In the summertime, when the weather is high,
you can stretch right up and touch the sky.
When the weather's fine, you got women, you got women on your mind.
Have a drink, have a drive, go out and see what you can find.
If a daddy's rich, take her out for a meal.
If a daddy's poor, just do what you feel.
Speed along the lane, you can dine or return at twenty-five.
When the sun goes down, you can make it big or good and only buy.
We're happy, but we're not dirty, we're not mean.
We love everybody, but we do as we please.
When the weather's fine, we go fishing or go swimming in the sea.
We're always happy, life's for living, yeah, that's our philosophy.
Sing along with us.
(scatting)
(scatting)
When the winter's here, yeah, it's party time.
Bring your bottle, wag your back 'cause it'll soon be summertime.
And we'll sing again, we'll go driving or maybe we'll settle down.
It's just rich, it's just nice, bring your friends and we'll all go into town.
Time Crisis, we're back.
I'm here in Los Angeles with Jake Longstreth. What's up, Jake?
Hey.
It's officially summer 2017, can you believe it?
Sort of, yeah.
Seems about right.
Yeah, well, I mean, the year's flying by, but it's been so hot recently that it's like, okay, yeah, it's summer.
It is hot.
It's been scorching.
Don't appreciate that.
I don't have AC in my studio.
In your painting studio?
Yeah, so I'm working shirtless, wearing shorts all day.
Just like dripping in sweat?
Not dripping, I got some fans going.
Do you do like a wet paper towel on the back of your neck?
Sometimes, I'll go into the bathroom and just like splash water on my face and like wet my hair down and just do the full--
That's not bad for your painting materials and the paintings themselves.
Oh, in the heat?
In the heat, yeah.
The paint does dry a little faster, I do notice.
Oh, so it's a positive thing.
Well, it depends what you're doing.
Right.
Oh, it wouldn't be good for oil painting.
If you're trying to blend a big sky area, you're a little more into the gun.
I'm trying to create an even gradient with oil paint over like a 12-square-foot area.
I got to hustle.
Right, maybe save those pieces for winter.
Got to do them now, dude.
Deadlines.
You're just like, okay.
No, these are the things that you don't get to talk to a painter every day about their actual craft, you know?
Yeah.
You see all these paintings hanging everywhere in museums and this and that.
You never think about the--
It's a physical object.
You got to like take raw materials and--
This is a random question.
Okay.
I was at a makeup artist's birthday party recently.
Cool.
Got me thinking about makeup.
Do you feel any kinship--and also hearing you talking about blending gradients--
do you feel any kinship with makeup artists or just people who take makeup seriously?
I can see it.
Because you know there's a big thing now, contouring.
What's that?
It's a way of putting on makeup that I think can make the shape of your face look a little different or create the illusion of shadow.
Don't quote me on this.
Whatever.
It's like advanced makeup study, but at a certain point, it is painting.
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, yeah, I guess you're trying to create dynamics and depth.
Yeah, exactly.
Or shift the palette.
I mean, and then you get to like the real crazy stuff where somebody could make--look like they're a cat or look like they have a wound or something.
And then you really--is it makeup or is it painting?
It's body painting.
Speaking of makeup and painting, who did we see this week at the Pink Floyd show sitting in front of us?
Marilyn Manson.
Right.
At the Roger Waters show.
Without makeup.
Without makeup, although--
He might have had some sort of foundation on.
Yeah, maybe he had some foundation or maybe he is just like--
Very even tone on his skin.
Maybe he's just one of those lucky people with even tone.
Very light skin, yeah.
Very, very white.
He doesn't go outside at all.
Honestly, that's possible.
He could be nocturnal.
So let's talk about it.
I lucked into some tickets to Roger Waters at Staples Center.
I'm not the biggest fan.
Right.
But I thought I was on that side of town.
I thought, "Why not roll down with our other buddy, Ariel?"
You know, we had an extra ticket.
So the first person I thought of, you know, Roger Waters, I definitely associate with the tasteful palate of '70s rock.
Not so tasteful.
The less than tasteful side of--
Dude, this is crazy.
I have like Doritos powder in my eye.
Oh, because you're from the spicy nacho?
I think I do.
Oh, man. That's crazy.
So we have some Doritos in the studio.
Oh, really?
We got a medical emergency here.
You got to flush your eye.
[beep]
You're listening to Time Crisis on Beat One.
Holy [beep]
I think I'm good.
Or it's salsa.
We may have got some salsa in my eye.
Something.
Oh, yeah.
It's passing.
I think I was the same chick was crushing a burrito before the show started.
Is my eye all red and inflamed?
It's not crazy.
It's getting better.
I mean, this is a good teachable moment.
Yeah.
If you're eating Doritos, especially--
Oh.
Wait, what are these called?
Spicy nacho.
You really got to be careful.
Cool Ranch.
That's a first for me.
Cool Ranch in the eye, no big deal.
Spicy nacho, it's going to take you down.
Took me down a peg.
You feeling okay?
Yeah.
Yeah, we can continue.
Okay.
So, back to Roger Waters.
We went to the show.
It was at the Staples Center.
Also, something goes down really easy about the name Staples Center.
It's really hilarious to like pause for a second and be like,
the place where the Lakers and the Clippers and Roger Waters play in Los Angeles
is named after an office supply store.
I know.
I mean, LA's just lucky that it was Staples that came through
with the offer to sponsor, not Office Depot.
Right.
Because imagine just like downtown Los Angeles is just like,
"Welcome to Office Depot Arena."
[sad trombone music]
Brutal.
But Staples Center, it sounds like a place that already existed.
It sounds like Jonathan Staples founded it, you know, 1925.
I remember having that confusion.
I think it was built in around 2000 maybe, maybe late '90s.
But I remember hearing the name in the ether and being like,
"Oh, that's just named after a guy."
It's like Wrigley Field or something.
It goes down easy, like Wrigley Field or Madison Square Garden.
And then I remember driving by and being like, "Oh no, that's Staples."
Because to me in my mind, I was like,
"There's no way that this arena is named after an office supply superstore.
There's just no way."
And also, you know what also why LA lucked out by getting Staples
is because Center starts with a "s" sound.
Yeah.
It really sounds like Staples Center.
Yeah.
I think this is like even if it was Staples Arena,
you might think more about the Staples.
I just always hear it as Staples Center.
You have to wonder if they took that into consideration.
So if like maybe Office Depot is offering more.
Yeah.
But they're like, "You know what? Staples Center sounds better.
They're offering 10% less, but it's going to be worth it in the long run
to take a little less money up front but have a better name."
Because it's the Lakers.
I mean, that's like a classy legacy brand.
They had to run it by Jack Nicholson.
You can't have the Lakers playing an Office Depot--what is it?
Office Depot Arena?
I don't know.
I thought the one you had was pretty good.
"Welcome to the Office Depot."
Oh, yeah, the Office Depot Arena.
I mean, yeah, it's like you talk about--yeah, LA is a stuck-up city.
I'm not trying to throw shade.
I'm just saying LA and New York are stuck-up cities.
We all know this.
They're big, rich cities, whereas you get a city like New Orleans,
great city, amazing city, but obviously doesn't have the kind of money
flowing through New York or LA, has had very difficult luck
when it comes to Katrina and things like that.
Who do they get to sponsor their arena?
I don't know.
You don't know where the Pelicans play?
I don't know.
Smoothie King Arena.
Smoothie? As in 7-Eleven?
No, no, Smoothie King.
You don't know what Smoothie King is?
Mm-mm.
Smoothie King is a chain of smoothie places.
Regional chain?
I'm pretty tapped in, and I've never heard of that.
It's like--is it regional?
I feel like there's one at JFK or something.
But anyway, my point is like--
I hear you.
--that, yeah, no--
Or it's like MetLife Insurance Stadium.
Or in like Boise, Idaho is straight-up Taco Bell Arena.
Oh, wow.
Obviously--
What is that?
Is it like minor league hockey or something?
You know, that's a great question because I always talk about
Taco Bell Arena, and I don't know much about it other than
that's where like Katy Perry's going to play when she comes to Boise.
Taco Bell Arena.
So Taco Bell Arena is a multi-purpose--oh, God, this is dark.
Taco Bell Arena, originally BSU Pavilion--
Okay.
--is a multi-purpose indoor arena in the western United States--
all right, western, you know, come on, Wikipedia--
on the campus of Boise State University in Boise, Idaho.
The reason I say that it's very dark is because
presumably Boise State University is a public college.
Like that's what's happening in America, like a public college
has their BSU Pavilion, and they have to take--
they have to literally--a public college has to advertise for Taco Bell?
Brutal.
Speaking of fast food, you and I were both very fascinated
at the Roger Waters concert because we were starving.
We thought that we were going to have access to the place called the Chairman's Club.
I was pumped about that.
Yeah, we did not have access. Mistakes were made.
There were serious hierarchies with not only the parking,
but also the green room situation.
Yeah, this is classic. It's like we roll down in a car with Ariel
because his buddy who's playing in the band says that we're going to have parking.
See, that's the thing. The price of entry to these concerts is so high.
Yeah.
It's not only the financial burden of the ticket, but just getting in is so tough.
The logistics were--
Yeah, so of course we roll up to lot one, not on the list.
Which was hard to find.
Very difficult to find.
It was like a labyrinth. It was like 40 minutes.
It was crazy.
I mean, in retrospect, it was kind of cool being on this weird goose chase.
But once we got in, we got to go into the green room, found a couple Coronas.
That's when the night took a positive turn for me.
I was kind of stressed out, hot, and then we finally got in there,
but remember we get in, we thought it was the Chairman's Club.
We didn't have access.
No chicken wings.
Yeah, we thought we were going to get chicken wings.
And then the guy playing bass in the band was like,
"Oh, I'll escort you over to the other green room where there's food."
And then we showed up and there's a bouncer that's like, "You can't escort."
Right.
And then right at that point--
And he said, "But I have an all-access pass."
He says, "But you don't have an all-access escort pass."
Yeah, so the--
Oh, and then we watch Dave Navarro enter the room,
and he hears us talk about how we don't have an escort,
and he turns around and--he's a very quick guy.
I don't know him.
And he turns around and goes, "It's a little early in the evening,
but I know a few escorts."
[explosion]
The time had come.
And just rolls in.
I mean, that's kind of what you want from Dave Navarro, I guess.
Yeah, it's perfect.
Yeah.
Well played.
♪ Here we go ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ No one ♪
♪ Gonna stop it all ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Save the complex ♪
♪ For party ♪
♪ Conversation ♪
♪ The world ♪
♪ Is a road ♪
♪ Isn't it the part nobody ain't gonna stop ♪
Once we settled in, I was definitely glad we were there.
Yeah, it was a good show.
I mean, I'm not a huge Floyd guy either.
And it was better than I thought it would be.
Yeah, the band was killing it.
He sounded good.
There's a drone pig that flew around the arena.
I've heard about this.
I haven't been in an arena yet where there's just, like,
a fully droned out thing flying around with no strings.
Yeah.
We're living in the future.
A giant piggy bank.
The visuals were incredible.
So, you know, summertime is a classic time to go catch a great show.
And Jake, you couldn't help point out that the Roger Waters show
made the Grateful Dead show you'd seen previously this spring, I guess.
A few weeks ago.
Seemed not so hot.
Yeah, pale in comparison.
And it's weird, too, because, you know, obviously I love the dead.
Not a huge Floyd guy, but this is sort of a reverse situation
where, like, the dead show was a real bummer, I thought.
That was at the Hollywood Bowl.
John Mayer filling in.
And then the Waters show was just, like, very on point, very tight.
It was more professional.
It sounded exactly like the album in, like, a cool way.
Yeah, it was impressive.
Very dynamic.
He seemed really energized and inspired.
73-year-old man.
The guys in the dead just seemed gone.
Now, the people at the show were just, like, drinking it up.
I mean, they just, like, were pounding the Kool-Aid.
I mean, yeah, I guess it's just about what kind of energy
you bring to an experience.
Well, after the Waters show, I was sort of like,
"Wow, this was really inspired and, like, really, like."
It felt fresh.
He brought it.
Yeah.
And then it made the dead show seem so cynical.
Like, what are they doing?
Are they just doing, like--are they just making money?
Like, what are they--it just seemed, like, sad to me.
Right.
In retrospect.
Yeah, with Roger Waters, you imagine him, like,
going over the set list with, like, the musicians.
This could be totally wrong.
Or you imagine him, like, working on the stage show
with, like, the lighting director and all these guys
and being like, "When are we going to bring the pig out?
Okay, but is it going to go upstage, right?"
Like, you can imagine--like, clearly a lot of thought went into it.
Yep.
He's not just cashing in.
No.
I mean, I think a lot of us as well as--sometimes do.
You know what I thought of?
If Hillary had won the election, what would the visuals have been?
Because it was very Trump-heavy.
Right.
Roger Waters hates Trump.
Trump is a pig.
He said Trump is a pig.
He put up a lot of dumb Trump quotes.
Right.
Like, Trump being an idiot and then Trump is a pig
and, like, stylized imagery of Trump,
Trump being on a baby's body, on a pig's body.
Yeah, we--
Industry footage of, like, Jeff Sessions.
Yeah.
Like, footage of, like, Trump playing golf.
We were talking about--I'm pretty sure when they kicked into money,
it was an aerial shot of Mar-a-Lago.
Right.
[Humming]
I remember we were joking, too, about, like,
some, like, Beverly Hills Republican being at the show
and just being like, "I didn't come here for the politics.
I'm here for a rock show."
So, Jake, we've got a hell of a show to kick off summer.
We're going to be talking to Kenny, a high school student who wrote us a letter.
Right, right.
So we're going to get--because, you know, we talk a lot about
whether or not the tasteful palette of '70s rock or '90s indie rock is still relevant.
But, you know, we're actually going to talk to somebody,
an actual high school-age music fan,
going to enlighten us into what they're listening to.
We're also going to talk about the top ten songs of the summer.
It's about that time.
Oh, wow.
I've got to get serious.
What are the songs of the summer?
But first, we've got the author of "The Dorito Effect," Mark Schatzker.
His book is about the surprising truth about food and flavor.
And I like this because we talk a lot about Doritos on the show,
but Mark Schatzker actually kind of has a thesis about how Doritos tell the story
of what happened to American food and American flavor.
So we're going to talk to Mark after this.
[applause]
[applause]
Now let's go to the Time Crisis Hotline.
[phone ringing]
Hello.
Hey, how are you doing, Mark?
Welcome to Time Crisis.
I'm doing great.
How are you guys?
We're great, man.
We're chowing down on some Doritos spicy nacho flavor over here.
Excellent.
My plan is working perfectly.
So, Mark, you got this book, "The Dorito Effect."
Yes.
What's it all about?
"The Dorito Effect" is basically what happened to food in the last 50 years.
We've been obsessed with kind of what's gone wrong with food,
and we keep on throwing around theories like we're eating too much fat
or we're eating too much carbs.
The one thing no one's ever really talked about is flavor,
because that's what we all love, right?
How does it taste?
So this book looks at how the way food tastes has changed,
and the Dorito Effect, very simply, is what happens when real food gets bland
and fake food gets super delicious.
The story of Doritos tells us something really important about how food changed,
and I'll tell you very quickly how it started.
Please.
The VP of sales and marketing for the Frito Chip Company,
he was working on Madison Avenue in the 1950s.
He was like an ad guy, and he got hired by the Frito Chip Company
to be the VP of sales and marketing.
Then they merged with the Lay's Chip Company to become Frito Lay.
He took a trip in the early '60s to California,
and he tasted a tortilla chip for the first time,
and he thought this is going to be the next big thing.
So he goes back to Dallas.
He pitches to senior executives on this great new idea,
and they're like, "Why would you do that?
Why do we need tortilla chips?
We've already got Fritos.
They're kind of the same thing."
But he was so sure that this would be the next thing, he developed it.
He funneled discretionary funds into an off-site facility
to develop this tortilla chip concept, and he presented it again,
and he gave it this sort of made-up Spanish-sounding name,
Mexican-sounding name called Doritos, and he got the green light.
This is when everyone thinks, "Ah, that's when everything changed.
That's when the world would shift."
In fact, that's not when it shifted because the first Doritos that went on sale
were just salted tortilla chips, and they kind of bombed.
Nobody really wanted them in the Southwest where people knew you could dip
tortilla chips in salsa or guac.
They liked them.
But the complaint everywhere else was that this snack sounds Mexican,
but it doesn't taste Mexican.
So this guy, his name was Arch West, had to go and talk to his fellow executives again.
He's hauled up in front of them, and they're saying, "What are you going to do about Doritos?"
And he said, "Let's make them taste like taco."
And this was a seminal moment because before that, you could never--
that wasn't really possible, but there had been a machine invented in the mid-1950s
called a gas chromatograph, which meant that scientists could finally identify
flavor compounds in foods.
And as soon as they figured out what made food taste good,
they started making those flavor compounds in laboratories and in factories.
And that's why in the mid-1960s it became possible to take a tortilla chip
and give it that sort of savory tang of a taco.
It doesn't taste exactly like a taco, but it has that same kind of satisfying zing.
And that is what changed the world.
Taco-flavored Doritos, they were--a tortilla chip that nobody wanted to eat
became a tortilla chip that people couldn't stop eating.
And this is really important because it tells us something about the power
of flavor over our brains, of flavor literally to make us eat.
So we walk out there in the world into diners and buffets and the supermarket
and we think, "I know what I want to eat," but the truth is we can't control it.
We're driven by something deeper than that.
And flavor technology was really the gateway.
And it's the Dorito effect because it's not just Doritos.
You see these things everywhere.
Fast food restaurants use them.
They're in things like yogurt. They're in kids' foods. They're in crackers.
They're in pasta sauce. They're in pizza.
They're everywhere.
And that is how we've created this illusion of deliciousness.
We keep on filling our mouths with food that tastes good
but just isn't what we should be eating.
And we get into this really messed-up relationship where food tastes good
in the moment and then we feel awful about it for hours, sometimes days later.
So really Dorito was a pioneer in terms of the flavor industry.
Absolutely. Yeah, they forged the way. Absolutely.
So it's kind of a feel-good underdog story.
In a way, yeah.
Doritos comes out, bombs, then they put some weird chemicals on it.
What became of Arch West?
Arch West, he continued to work for Doritos for a while,
then I think he did some consulting and he did a lot of volunteer work.
His grandson reached out to me actually after the book came out.
He reached out to me on Facebook and I thought he would have horrible things to say,
but he's actually a food activist.
He lives in the Bay Area and he was very complimentary about the book.
He said, "If you're ever down here, let's get together."
I wonder if Arch West ever had a moment of like, "What did I unleash, Dr. Frankenstein?"
You know, I wonder that too.
I mean because I think he died in the '90s and certainly by then, Doritos were massive.
But by the time they came out with Cool Ranch, that was in the early '80s,
he was way out of the picture.
He was the Robert Oppenheimer of tortilla chips.
As he first tasted the taco-flavored Dorito chip, a line from the Vedic scripture came to mind.
"Now I am become Death, destroyer of worlds."
He should have strangled his monster in his crib.
This is a very interesting way to look at things.
We talk a lot about Doritos, but we've never quite had this angle.
So thank you so much, Mark, and everybody, check out the book, The Dorito Effect,
The Surprising Truth About Food and Flavor.
Mark, what's your favorite type of Doritos?
Probably the classic nacho cheese.
Love it.
I'm a traditionalist.
All right, great, Mark. Thanks for calling in.
Thanks for having me on. It's been fun.
Have a good one, man.
You too.
Wow, that was a pretty good call, Jake. What do you think?
Very informative.
Yeah, you know, as I think about it more, I really think there's something to this.
Like, we really do beat ourselves up for wanting to eat, you know, like, gas station food.
But we should probably look at it, like, slightly differently.
You're not a bad person if Twinkies and spicy nacho Doritos catch your eye.
You're just a human being.
If you can figure out a way to surround yourself with more healthful, tasty food options, you know,
you might not be worrying about it that much.
Yeah.
I felt pretty bad after when I ate that McFlurry at the Roger Waters concert.
Yeah, and that hot dog I had last night was...
[laughs]
I felt weird.
Yeah, that food does make you feel bad, but you know what it's like?
It's like with hot dogs, it's like, it's not like when you go to Staples Center or something,
they're like, we have like a super organic, like, sausage option.
Right.
It's like, you can force-feed this food.
I'm surprised there's not like a taco stand or something.
Yeah, at least it wasn't open.
There was that Tostitos branded nacho station.
Oh, yeah, it sucked.
Remember those nachos that Ariel got?
Yeah, those nachos were terrible.
This is how bad it is at the Staples Center.
This is where people are paying like hundreds of dollars to see Roger Waters perform
the not-so-tasteful stylings of Pink Floyd.
So people are in there like spending crazy money to watch this like cutting-edge laser light show.
Yeah.
And then you walk out, you want to get some nachos, and they hand you this like $10 thing
that's like just a bunch of plain Tostitos, a little cheese, and a little pile of jalapenos.
Yeah.
It's like they reduced what could be a great snack to like three whack component parts.
Step it up, Staples Center.
Despicable.
So you know, Jake, we don't want to talk too much about the Roger Waters show.
Yeah.
It did spark an interesting dialogue we had via text about how much is Roger pulling in
on this gigantic tour.
73-year-old man.
Right.
Going out on the road for two years.
That is so deep.
And he's putting money into the show.
And we were kind of thinking like, you know, one level why.
Seems like he wants to reclaim the legacy of Pink Floyd.
But you know, this is like, you know, he's out there just doing a big swing kind of thing.
Like is it for the money?
What's it for?
And that kind of led to a discussion about the highest grossing concert tours of all time.
And there's a list on Wikipedia, which is very fascinating.
Yeah, this was a post-concert, everyone's back home text conversation.
Left us thinking how much money does Roger Waters make?
So I was surprised by this.
The highest grossing concert of all time is U2.
And one might think that the highest grossing concert of all time by U2 might be, you know,
when they're touring Joshua Tree or like something really big.
But actually, all the highest grossing concerts tend to be by heritage artists a little bit
later in their career.
So the biggest, highest grossing concert of all time is the U2 360 tour that took place in 2009.
How much?
The actual gross in 2009 was $736 million.
Wow.
And they played 110 shows.
So that's an average gross of $6.7 million.
How did they get that many people to come out?
I mean, I know U2 is a big band, but like, just picture like 2009, U2 is just like every
city they're going to.
They're like filling a football stadium.
Yeah, like they're playing like Phoenix, Arizona.
Playing to like 45.
No, more.
Well, the average.
80,000?
I mean, the average attendance on this tour was 66,000.
Wow.
So they're not even talking about playing the Taco Bell Arena in Boise.
They're not playing Boise.
They're going Seattle, maybe Salt Lake City.
They're just doing all NFL stadiums, I guess.
Yeah.
You know what caught my eye on that list was Bon Jovi 2013.
They grossed $260 million on their tour.
The name of the tour was Because We Can, which is the worst tour title ever.
Yeah, because I think.
It's like there's no new record.
Right.
They haven't had a hit in 20 years or whatever.
And it's like, because we can.
That's the 19th highest grossing tour of all time.
You know, it's like, I guess there's no huge surprises.
These are the top five highest grossing tours of all time.
Number one, as we said, YouTube.
Number two, The Rolling Stones in 2005.
Number three, Roger Waters in 2010 doing The Wall Live.
This guy just can't keep off the road.
Yeah.
Road dog.
He's a real road dog.
Number four, AC/DC.
Huh.
What year?
2008.
Oh, yeah.
So even Inflation Adjusted, bands made money in the '80s.
But maybe they weren't charging the $1,500 VIP.
Right.
Because Def Leppard tours on Hysteria for three years from '87 to '90 or whatever.
And it's like.
They weren't taking in that kind of money back then.
Madonna.
First woman on the list.
What year?
In 2008 to 2009, she did the Sticky and Sweet Tour where she grossed $408 million.
The Police Reunion Tour, 2007 to 2008.
I vaguely remember that happening.
God, that's brutal.
I just remember being like, "Oh, yeah.
The police are playing in Madison Square Garden or something."
I was like, "Okay."
I didn't realize it was such a big deal.
They played 156 shows and grossed $362 million.
Wow.
Can you imagine those 156 shows?
Well, especially like those guys hate each other, right?
Yeah.
Can you imagine?
Just like Sting not saying a word.
Yeah, just like month eight.
"Hey, Sting, man.
When was the last time you were in Cleveland?"
Shut the f--- up, Stewart.
I've never been on a giant tour like that, but I've definitely been on tours and played some huge shows.
Yeah, we played some big shows.
I remember once we did a tour that was kind of playing small arenas in the UK.
Vampire Weekend is not really an arena band.
In the occasional city, we've done an arena, but our music definitely, I think, lends itself most to a kind of amphitheater in summertime.
I feel that.
But whatever.
We played Barclays Center in New York, and we played at some of these small arenas in the UK.
So that was the closest taste I ever had to an arena tour.
And one thing about when you're starting out touring and you're jumping in the van, you're driving through wherever you are, you're taking in the scenery, you get to
the venue.
There's generally going to be something idiosyncratic about that venue in that city.
If you're playing really small places, it might be like, "Whoa."
The place in Kansas City, they give you a token for half off a burrito, and you remember that, and it's cool.
And then in this place, it's like, "Whoa, it's actually this place where it's half inside, half..."
Yeah, whatever. There's little things about it.
When you're doing these arenas, it's very easy to get into this Groundhog's Day vibe because all arenas are essentially the same.
It's like a big loading dock.
It's a big loading dock.
You're not in the center of the city, nine times out of ten.
You're out in the hinterlands.
It's not like when you're playing downtown Missoula, Montana. You can walk out the back of the theater and check out the town.
You can't walk anywhere.
Yeah, it's just freeways connecting. There's a Bed, Bath & Beyond a quarter mile away. You can kind of see.
Oh, man. I got so many memories of just waking up at 2 p.m. on the bus because I couldn't sleep.
A lot of times that happens, I can't sleep on the bus, and I fall asleep at 7 a.m.
Oh, man.
You wake up at 2, stumble out in this dark bus, and then you open the door.
Just bright Tucson sunlight pouring down.
My hair is all messy, and I'm just like, "Oh."
I walk across the asphalt up the loading dock into the venue and just be like, "Oh, where are the catering?"
Oh, my God.
"Let's go get a cup of coffee."
Grind the road, man.
I'm not looking forward to that aspect of getting back on the road.
Although when we were at the show, I was kind of like, "You know what?"
And also working on the record so much now, I am starting to be like, "Think more."
This is the first album where I've ever been working on an album and been kind of like working on a song and be like, "Oh, this one's going to be fun live."
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, I've been getting kind of excited about not touring per se, but making the live show cool.
That'll be fun. You got to come throw down some tasty licks on tour, Jake.
Would love to.
Actually, Jake and I, people might not know our backstory.
Yeah.
Loyal Time Crisis listeners maybe don't know how Jake and I actually met, which was on a tour.
Yeah.
Dirty Projectors.
Getty Address Tour.
2005?
Yep, 2005.
2005.
Double minivan assault.
Same year as the Rolling Stones' Bigger Bang Tour.
You know what's funny? If someone was like, in 2005, was like, "Okay, in 12 years, you guys are going to be doing a bi-weekly radio show."
On the internet.
Talking mostly about fast food, classic rock. I would have been like, "Okay, that sounds about right."
Yeah, I guess if somebody had told us when we just first met on this Dirty Projectors tour, touring in minivans, playing punk houses and DIY venues.
Yeah.
"You guys are going to have a bi-weekly radio show."
I guess I probably would have been like...
Based in LA.
Based in LA. That would have been a shocker. That part would have been funny.
That's when I would have been like, "Now I'm very curious."
When we first met, there was no Vampire Weekend.
Yeah?
Not yet.
Yeah, I remember you sending me, like, emailing me some demos of like, Oxford comma.
And like, me listening to it on my laptop speakers being like, "This is pretty good."
And then I remember you were like, because I was living in San Francisco then, and you were like,
"Oh dude, we're going to come out this summer, like, hook us up with like a backyard show."
Or like, put us on a bill with like, some cool band.
And I was like, "Yeah, I could swing that."
And then like a few months later you were like, "We got it covered, dude."
That was crazy.
Yeah, I remember that first tour.
Okay, Jake, it's time to talk to Kenny Tulecki, a loyal Time Crisis listener who wrote in
and said that we could talk to them about what teens are listening to.
Well, yeah, I remember Kenny said that the show lacked valid youth viewpoints.
Fair enough.
Because I know I'm on here a lot.
A classic Time Crisis trope is me saying to Jake, you know, that the youth of America
don't appreciate the tasteful palate of 70s rock.
But maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe they're not all just listening to Chain Smokers.
So Kenny's going to drop some knowledge on us now.
How old is Kenny?
Not sure. We'll find out.
Now, let's go to the Time Crisis Hotline.
[Phone ringing]
Yo, homie.
Kenny, what's up?
What's up, my guys?
We're just here recording Time Crisis.
We really appreciate you calling in.
So where are you calling from, Kenny?
Costa Mesa, California.
How old are you, Kenny, and what grade are you in?
14 and a half, going into ninth grade.
So is that fair to say you're officially a high school student now?
Nope.
No, not yet?
I'm not in high school.
Oh, you're a middle school student.
You're finishing eighth grade.
I finished eighth grade, and I didn't go to graduation.
Okay, got it.
All right, so, Kenny, you just finished eighth grade.
You said the Time Crisis is missing a youth viewpoint.
We agree.
So we want to talk to you about what the youth of America are listening to,
because I always tell Jake that it's mostly chain smokers,
and nobody appreciates the tasteful palate of Guided By Voices or the Eagles.
But is that not true?
I love Guided By Voices.
Okay, so that's interesting, because, you know, sometimes we're a little harsh on Jake.
We tell him nobody cares about Guided By Voices anymore, which is his favorite band.
But that's encouraging to hear that somebody your age cares about GBV.
But are you in the minority at your school?
Not even my parents know who Guided By Voices are.
No one knows who Guided By Voices are, but Jake talked about them,
and I trust that guy, so I listen to them.
Respect.
So, Kenny, you picked a few songs for us to play.
Can you walk us through them?
This is a taste of three songs that you think are cool.
All right, can I start out with "Pass the Eulogy" by Sophia Nance?
Sure.
So who's Sophia Nance? I don't think I'm familiar.
Sophia Nance is a very big Vampire Weekend fan.
She really likes you guys, and she has been trying to get you on Twitter
to listen to her new album that she made when she was, like, 16 or 17.
And I feel like you guys should listen to it because she pays such high respect towards you.
Is she local?
She's in Texas.
Okay, okay, nice.
[singing]
Universe and white scars
[piano]
Don't tell me you yourself are confused
When I tell you you yourself are my years
They say there are seven but you make the eighth wonders of the world
They say there's a heaven and I'm sure the gates open at the sight of your known face
Oh
I'm not gonna sing about the stars I think you heard them all
I'm gonna sing about the earth, the walls, and how it's dark
And being cool by nightfall
By nightfall
Okay, Sophia Nance. Very vibey.
So how do you know Sophia Nance's music?
Because we've been friends for, like, two years on the internet.
Like, I know all the, like, Vampire Weekend heads.
Interesting. I haven't been on Twitter much lately, so I haven't seen any of her tweets.
So there's a community of Vampire Weekend heads that talk to each other.
Yeah.
[piano]
Okay, what's the next song that you picked?
Heat by Brockhampton.
Cool, let's check it out. Oh, I've heard of Brockhampton.
Yeah, they're, like, they just released an album, and this is, like, my favorite song off of that.
And it's, like, super loud.
Okay.
I got pipe dreams of crack rocks and stripper poles
Of the Oaks and the Falls
So I got secrets only me and all my niggas know
A kickin' in the doors, I send a piss in the kitchen
So don't play the Oaks, you stupid, I know you got the product
'Cause I can smell the money, I can taste the weed
Give me something more, buy the only way I leave
I love to watch 'em squirm, I love when bitches bleed
And she's suckin' on the barrel, you can't hear her scream
So kiss the f-- on carpet, disaggravate and larsen
And then I'm out the door, it's monsters in your home
Black gloves, mask on, muzzle plated chrome
Who they callin' cops on my chicken?
That's the first one to go, the first shot I blow
Who they callin' cops on my chicken?
Who they callin' cops on my chicken?
Santa, Santa, who be the number one Santa?
Put the mist on you when I'm on your blocker
And no be thin, no be itchy when I'm off it
Off it, I'm off it, I got the magazine from the pistol
For any politics and target games, even issue
Another black man in the street, it's official
We ridin' out the spray, we goin' on the pistol
Huh, they come get another cup
Huh, come in on my block for the answer
Huh, I don't get time for your question
Huh, this put me mummy in the fridge
I hate the way I think, I hate the way it looms
I hate the way the things I say incinerate a room
I know I'm tryin' to change, but it don't ever work
Just end up more broken down than when I started
And that concrete feels the hardest every time I seem to touch it
Started thinkin' I ain't meant for life
But that's too deep, fallin' up into the ceiling
While I'm drownin' in the creek of my emotions
Tryin' harder to be open, talkin' 'bout release dates
I'm tryin' to make it to tomorrow
Internal honesty could be the hardest pill to swallow
So I need two shots at everything that's on the pre-open
I'm dacin' with myself, settin' fire to the venue, mom
Go call the cops on my dickin'
Because I am aggressive, and it's a good song
And it's like a way to let my aggression out
Okay, what's the last song you picked?
New Flesh by Current Joys, also known as Televisions
But for some reason they changed their name
Cool
There was a band called Television
Yeah, maybe they felt like it was too close
The band was called Televisions?
Yes, with like a dash in the middle of it
Sounds cool
Yeah, Nicholas Gratigan is the person that made it
And he's really good
Where's this band from?
Uh, New York
How'd you find this?
Uh, well, it's a really sad story actually
Um, this girl that was a viner
Uh, this was the song in her last vine
Before she passed away from cancer
Oh man
In early 2016
Oh man, that's a sad story
Yeah
♪
♪ Try to write a song, try to write a song ♪
♪ Try to write a song, I think you'd find ♪
♪
♪ No one gives a stage, no one gives a stage ♪
♪ No one gives a stage to Babylon ♪
♪
♪ Till I die ♪
♪ We are right ♪
♪ We are right ♪
♪
♪ I have nightmares, I have nightmares ♪
♪ I have nightmares all the time ♪
♪
♪ So I stay awake, so I stay awake ♪
♪ So I stay awake all night ♪
It seems like a lot of your music takes viewers towards like independent stuff
Is that fair to say?
I guess, I listen to a lot of different stuff though
And at your school, are there a lot of Chainsmokers fans?
What's the climate?
Uh, the dumbasses at my school don't know what they're talking about
So they really just like, don't get it
And they listen to whatever's on the radio
Like, even if it's a really crappy song
They're like, "Oh, that's really toppin' it"
"I should probably listen to that, 'cause I'm a brain dead loser"
I guess some things never change
I think that's how...
I think that's the classic dichotomy, always
In middle school and high school
Like, some people are interested in independent music
And they don't understand what the other people are seeing in the radio music
And vice versa
Sounds like an episode of Freaks and Geeks
More or less
I mean, yeah
So that's a yes, there's a lot of Chainsmokers fans
They're not fans, but they like...
Okay, I understand what you're saying
They don't listen to anything except for what's on the radio
Now, as a new Guided by Voices fan
Have you tried turning on any of the kids in your school to GBV?
I don't talk to any of them
I try to stay away from them
Fair enough
Do you talk music with anyone?
Like, maybe friends on the internet?
My friend Jackie on the internet
My friend Jackie is into the same music as me
Cool
Has getting into Guided by Voices gotten you interested in any other '90s indie rock?
Well, you said that you like Fugazi
So I started listening to Fugazi
Oh, tight
What do you think of them?
They're dope
Yeah, that Fugazi spirit is definitely lacking in modern music
So, Kenny, I remember when I was around your age
I also felt pretty alienated from mainstream music or radio music
But is there anything in the mainstream radio music that speaks to you?
Clearly most of it doesn't, which is totally understandable
But is there anything that kind of crosses over where you find maybe common ground?
Yeah, the songs that famous people do with Frank Ocean
Frank Ocean is amazing
I love Frank Ocean
So whenever they collaborate with him, that's pretty dope
And The Weeknd's good, too
And I like some random songs just randomly on the radio
I listen to the radio a lot, so I just know a lot of music
Right, so you take it all in, you don't love all of it
Yeah, I like The Weeknd, too
Of all the stuff we listen to on Time Crisis
And when I'm just somewhere and they're just kind of playing pop radio
When I Feel It Coming comes on, that's a good one
How about Bieber?
Everyone likes Bieber
Everyone at my school last year heavily messed with Bieber
But, I don't know, he seems like he's doing his own thing
And I don't really want to mess with that
But I'll listen to a few of his songs occasionally
I don't mess with Diplo, though
Are you willing to listen to a Bieber song produced by Diplo?
Possibly, probably not, though, because I don't like rats
Fair enough
Rats?
Diplo looks like a rat
Oh, okay, I thought you meant he ratted someone out
Oh, he probably did, you know him
I don't
You told the feds
I don't know him
Well, good for you, then
Kenny, thanks so much for picking these songs, we really appreciate it
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
Can you please come to my birthday party?
I know that's stupid, but Jason told me that he was going to ask for me
So he told me that I had to ask myself
Oh, well, probably not
I'm in the studio every single day, but when's your birthday?
Shut up, no you are not
Saturday
Saturday, it's like a half birthday party
Because I wanted to throw a party
Oh, fair enough
Even if Jake comes with his dog, because I like his dog
Marty is pretty awesome
Yeah, Marty is dope
Marty is a great dog
I love the feed of Marty on Instagram
Marty is a very cute dog
Kenny, what do you have to do this summer?
Literally nothing, because I hate everyone and it's hard to do anything
But I'm just chilling out in Southern California for the entire summer
Probably just listening to new albums and stuff
That doesn't sound half bad
Yeah, it's really chill
Chilling in SoCal listening to new music
Yeah, it's great
You just got to do to chill out
That's what summer is all about
Especially as you're getting ready for high school
Yep
Alright, well, Kenny, thanks so much for picking these songs
We really appreciate you bringing a youthful viewpoint to Time Crisis
And especially spotlighting some newer music
Because I know we go on and on about the tasteful palette of 70s rock
So thanks for playing this music by Brockhampton, Sofianance, and CurrentJoyce
Thank you for having me
Our pleasure, we'll talk to you soon, Kenny
Take care
Talk to you soon, bye
Call me, call me, call me
How you doing?
My name is Tony, nice to meet you
Here's my number
You can reach me
911, call me
Call me sometime
911, call me
Call me sometime
Call me
Call me
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
My thirst levels are infinity and beyond
Sipping on that Le Mans
Ayy, I need a Beyonce
Can't see straight, these shades of Celine Dion
Sucks you can't gas me up, shout out to Elon Musk
Yeah, I got a sold out show
Crawl all out, but don't matter 'cause you down front row
I've been looking for a key, uh
Listen to the speaker, if you fit the script, yeah
Hit me on my beat, buy that 911
Call me sometime
Ring, ring, ring, ring
Please, bank my line
You know I'll answer
But call me sometime
Ring, ring, ring, ring
Please, bank my line
911, call me
Call me sometime
911, call me
Call me sometime
Call me
911, call me
Charm, charm
Charm, charm
Woke up in the Burbs, Burbs, with the Burbs, Burbs
Boy, you used to come and get me with the Swerves, Swerves
These days, you gotta find time
Even the night, ride
Work, mind
Without night
5 car garage
Full tank of the gas
But that don't mean nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing
Without you, shotgun and the passenger
I'm the loneliest man alive
But I keep on dancing to throw 'em off
I'm gon' run out of moves 'cause I can groove to the blues
If you know any DJs, tell 'em to call me at 9
1, 1
I can't even lie, I've been lonely
Oh, lonely ass
I can't even lie, I've been lonely
Weird ass
I can't even lie, I've been lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely
They say the loudest in the room is weak, that's what they assume
But I disagree, I say the loudest in the room is probably the loneliest one in the room
Attention seeker, public speaker, oh my God, that boy there so lonely
Write songs about these people who do not exist, he's such a c*nt phone
And one thing I know is that I want 'em to win so bad, but I'm not Chicago
I'm hard as low as real low, it's so low, you can't lift me up, I'm like a lotto
From the start, it's been real dark, it's been so dark, I guess that you could call it charboard
I'm playin' like Hasbro, I'm really sorry, call me Alto
Crash the McLaren, bought me a Tesla, I know you sick of me talkin' 'bout cars
But what the f*ck else do you want from me, that is the only thing keepin' me company
Purchase some banks 'til I'm a Nord, these items is fillin' a vault
Been feelin' it for so long, I don't even know if it's what I enjoy
Current backdoor, how's the net dough? My partner is a shadow, I need love
Do you got some on your palm? I can find some in the mall, bro
But that never comes, like a vasectomy, what have I done?
I got the talent to face enough funds for myself, I'ma go, but I haven't found some
One, mirror, mirror on the wall, the loneliest of 'em all
Me, cute but actin' stupid, do you got another number I could call?
Never had a pet, I never had a pet
There's more fish in the sea, but I never had a goldfish to begin with
I never had a dog, so I never been through a
'Cause I never threw a ball, bitch
I never had a pet, that's where it stems from, I bet
Treat me like Director Pozner, checkin' on me some time
Ask me how I'm really doin', so I never have to press that 9-1-1
Kenny from Costa Mesa callin' in
Droppin' some real heat on us, three songs
Bringin' some youthful perspective to time crisis
Jake, do you remember the summer between 8th grade and 9th grade for you?
Uh, vaguely
Nothing stands out?
I think we took a family trip to Wyoming
What'd you do in Wyoming, like a camp?
Yeah, did some like horse riding on some trails
Uh-huh
I think I saved my brother's life that summer
Really?
Yeah, we were like
By introducing him to Guided By Voices?
I wasn't into GBV
Oh yeah
GBV was just grinding it out in the Dayton, Ohio basement at that point
In obscurity
How'd you save Dave's life?
We were fishing in a really like raging river
Ooh
And he, so I would've been
He had what, like 13? He would've been like 8
Okay
He fell down, he lost control
Like he was trying to like wade through this like really like intense current in this river and he fell
And he started just getting swept down
Oh my god
The river, and I just like bolted
I could just like run down the shoreline of the river really fast
And just like cut him off and just like went into the, that was much bigger
13 and 8, that's a huge
Right, so you're big enough that the current couldn't take you
Yeah, so I could just like plant in, I found like a spot where I could plant and I just like grabbed him
And like just like pulled him out of the river
Man, that's terrifying
I think that was that summer
Right, Jerry Garcia's father died in a kind of current situation
Whoa
Young Jerry was there
Really?
Yeah
How old was Jerry?
He was like a little kid, under 10
Jeez
Man, that's heavy
Wow, I didn't know you saved Dave's life
I mean it's slightly hyperbolic to put it that way
It could have gone
Rolling into high school
It could have gone south
Yeah, 8th grade, I remember I didn't
Do you remember that summer?
Yeah
I didn't like 8th, I remember I liked 7th grade
I didn't like 8th grade that much
8th grade we moved into the high school building
Okay
In my school system
So I just remember being in the high school building and like 8th grade was just kind of like a random bummer year
So the, before freshman, I can't even
It's a rough time
Kenny seemed to not be relishing it, which I understand
Very understandable
Hang in there, Kenny
Definitely hang in there, especially at that age, like
If you feel alienated from the kids at your school
I guess the internet's a positive development
Yeah
I only had like kind of AOL chat rooms
You weren't gonna make any
Weren't gonna establish too many significant relationships that way
But like, yeah, it's like when you're still growing up and like surrounded by, in a small atmosphere
If you feel alienated from everybody, that can be tough, but
So funny, like when I was in 8th grade, the internet did not exist
Full stop
It was
Like circa 1990
No, it existed
It existed
Well, not for public usage
Yeah, well, very few people had it at home
In 1990?
Yeah, some people had it at home
Very few people
Okay
It wasn't, yeah, you're right, it wasn't
It was not in the like, the common kind of parlance
Yeah
I wanna say '95
I went to college in '95 and I feel like it was like
Oh, this is this new thing, like
Instead of long distance phone calls
That cost a lot of money, we can like write to each other
Right, start emailing
And that didn't happen
I mean, there were some like occasional emails, but like with my parents
I'm not gonna email my parents
I'm gonna use their calling card to call them
Yeah
But yeah, I think around then
Okay
It's officially summer
It's time for the top five
It's time for the top five
Five on iTunes
This week's edition of the top five is really a top ten
Because we're gonna look at the top ten songs right now
On the Billboard charts
Not the iTunes charts
We're going straight to Billboard
Because this is the first week of summer
So we wanna see what are the top ten songs
For the first week of summer 2017
So the number ten song this week
Body Like a Back Road
No, Body Like a Back Road
That was more of the song of the spring
Okay
This one's by Post Malone
Do you know who that is, Jake?
Carl Malone's son?
Well, the Malone is a reference to Carl Malone, I believe
And like Posting Up?
No, I think Post is his real last name
Whatever
Is he Utah based?
No, I think he's originally from Texas
And I think he's out in LA now
He had a big song called White Iverson
Kinda kicked things off for him
You remember that?
No
So he's just like a deep basketball dude
He's definitely a basketball fan
So he has this song
Kind of his second big single
It's called Congratulations featuring Quavo
Remember who Quavo is?
No
He's a rapper and he's in a rap group
Okay
Amigos?
Yeah, hey!
Not bad
Look at me
Okay, so the number ten song right now
Congratulations featuring Quavo, Post Malone
Body like a back road
Is this Percocet?
Percocet
No
No, that's Future
Kind of a Drake ripoff here
Drake riboff?
Yeah
Strong words, Jake
The melody is so similar
That melody is the exact same
As what? As a Drake song?
Yeah
Which one?
We'll come back around to it
That chorus?
You didn't recognize that?
Yeah, what is that?
Yeah, I guess Drake
It's just a
And that one is called Congratulations, right?
Or no, just the song?
It's not Highline Bling, is it?
Yeah
It's like the same
You know what? It's an interval
Drake doesn't own that interval
And it's
You come so
So Jake, obviously you identified
A very hot interval right now
Yep
Ever since I had congratulations
Ever since I left congratulations
It's a hot interval
Intervals come, intervals go
That's true
Post Malone
You know who first told me about Post Malone
Way before he was famous?
East Coast?
Time Crisis crew?
Exactly, Despot
He was talking about Post Malone like years ago
That was the first time I ever heard him
That single was platinum in America
It's a good name, Post Malone
Yeah, he's an interesting guy
I like him
Platinum, what does that mean?
It means it sold a million copies
Really?
I'm sure that probably includes streaming
But you know, it is what it is
So it sold 60,000 copies
And got streamed a billion times
[Laughter]
That's crazy
Somebody should figure out how much
Like back in the day
You know, to have a platinum single is a really big deal
I mean, it still is
I'm not saying it's easy
You have to really make a popular song
But I wonder if these days
If you go platinum off Spotify
Like what kind of check you're getting
I feel like we've talked about this before
Like a million streams on Spotify is like
What is it, like five grand or 50 grand?
You gotta split it with, I don't know
It's complicated
The number nine song
Lil Uzi Vert - XO Tour Life
Who is this?
Lil Uzi
He's a rapper
Okay
Lil
It's like Lil Abner but it's Lil Uzi
Yeah, or like Lil Wayne
Lil Abner
Who is Lil Abner?
I don't even know
It's like an old ass cartoon
This is a good song
Lil Uzi Vert - XO Tour Life
Kind of a dark song
Song of the summer
Yeah, just like barbecuing, cracking a brew
Hey, all my friends are dead
Push me to the edge
It says here that Lil Uzi Vert considers himself
To be more of a rock star than a rapper
Okay
I think Lil Uzi is a big Marilyn Manson fan actually
To take this whole circle
He got like a Marilyn Manson chain
It's pretty cool
What's that? What do you mean chain?
You know, he got like a
Like a chain, like a gold necklace with a medallion
Except the medallion is like a diamond
Encrusted Marilyn Manson
Face?
Yeah
Like Marilyn's face in diamonds?
Yeah
Wow
Marilyn Manson wearing Mickey Mouse ears
I wonder if they've hung out
Yeah, these days I would guess
Marilyn Manson, Los Angeles based performer
Yeah
As we know
Hitting the Roger Waters show
Yeah, like Lil Uzi's probably been in LA a million times
Cause he's blowing up right now
Sure
Certainly in this day and age
Marilyn Manson is hearing about
This like hot young rapper wearing a chain with his face on it
He's hearing about that like two seconds later
Yeah
People are like, his texts are blowing up
So yeah, I wonder if they've probably met
If Marilyn's down
They've probably met
Uzi, Marilyn, Roger Waters
It's a cool hang
He's kicking it
One thing I like about this song is
It was originally kind of like a SoundCloud song
Like something he just threw up on SoundCloud
And then it got so popular on SoundCloud
And like the label was like, we gotta release this officially
And it has this kind of unusual name
XO Tour Life
Cause you know, normally hit songs have
The title is like the, you know
Like Post Malone, "Congratulations"
And the chorus goes, "Congratulations"
And in this, the song's called XO Tour Life
And he says, "The real hook has pushed me to the edge
All my friends are dead"
It's much cooler that the song is not called
"All My Friends Are Dead"
What's the song called?
XO Tour Life
X-O?
Yeah, with a kind of stylized spelling of life
With a three in it
It's two L's and then the E is a three
So it's cool
It's like a cooler way to
I love the occasional Seinfeld 2000
I know! Hey, what's up?
This is a, I'm in
Thanks for letting me on the mic this time, guys
All good
We know you love songs of the summer
The number eight song
In this first week of summer
Zedd and Alessia Cara, "Stay"
We've heard this
Do you wanna hit me a modello?
You got it
Thank you, sir
Is Zedd from One Direction?
No
Zedd is a German DJ
Is this the one that Vin Diesel sang on?
That's kind of
Forever Young, dude
Oh yeah, I like this chorus
I like this song with the single
You know that one?
That little sample
Where?
It's coming
Oh, it's almost here
This is straight up Chainsmokers rip
I hear it
Dude, you're tapped in on the details of this song
Oh yeah
How do you know it so well?
It appears like, 'cause I work on this show
No, but seriously
'Cause it's always playing everywhere
I don't know
I'll have MTV on in the background at home or something
And I'm just like, here comes that
I really would have thought you would just have the Seinfeld loop
Oh, well, yeah
I'm honestly surprised how well you know this song
So what's the deal, Seinfeld?
First of all, I thought MTV didn't play music anymore
Well, MTVU plays music
Okay, so it's just on and you have the TV on?
Yeah
Randomly?
Yeah, you know, I'll be like, I'll have Seinfeld on mute
Making a stir fry for dinner
You'll be doing like four screens
I got my five screen experience
And then, yeah, I've got the MTVU on or whatever
And this song's on like every ten minutes or so
And then, yeah, you guys
I mean, Time Crisis plays it all the time too
Yeah, true
Alright, I mean, it's a good song
Stay a minute
But it's not as good as this one
The number seven song in the first week of summer
Holdin' Strong
After almost three months
Two legends coming together for this one
Chainsmokers and Coldplay
You know, 'cause on
This is the highlight so far
On Time Crisis, we always talk about the iTunes songs
Which vary more
So as we dip back into the Billboard songs
It's a reminder that it's stuck around
It's a hit
Um, can we assume everything is platinum?
Yes
All the songs we've listened to so far are platinum
Although this one is three times platinum in Italy
That's tough
Three million in Italy?
Well, no, different countries have different
Right, we've discussed that
Like, platinum in Montana
That's right
Is like 1,200 listens
This song was used as the theme for the
2017 NCAA Division I Men's Basketball Tournament
That's tight
This is the best Coldplay song
Wake Forest taking on Villanova
Starting forward for Gonzaga
Tough day for the University of Wisconsin Badgers
All this doing sports references is dicey
We're really on thin ice when we start talking sports
I want something just like this
The women in Dixieland
The legends and the myths
The testaments they told
The malelecs, the clubs
And Superman unloads
The suit before he lifts
But I'm not the kind of person that it fits
She said where'd she wanna go
How much she wanna risk
I'm not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts
Some superhero, some fairy tale bliss
Just something I could turn to
Somebody I could risk
I want something just like this
The number six song on the charts
Now Jake, you were saying earlier
when you heard the beginning of the Post Malone song
you said, "Is this Percocet?"
Okay, Percocet
How do you think the song goes? I'm curious
Percocet
Where's my f***ing Percocet?
Not even close, man
I don't know
I just remember it's Percocet
That's true
There's no song called
Well, there probably is a song called Percocet
But the song's called Mask Off by Future
And really the part you're thinking of goes
Percocet, Molly, Percocet
It's about drugs
Or at least part of it is
Great combo
This is cool
I don't know how it is
No, this song's great, yeah
This song samples Prison Song by Tommy Butler
Yeah, bitty
Yo, Percocet, Molly, Percocet
Oh, I thought it was Mildly Percocet
Percocet, Mildly Percocet
I did a mashup with Seinfeld
Oh, yeah
And then Future shared it on Facebook
Oh, really?
Yeah, and that was really cool
Future shared the Seinfeld remaster
Yeah, and he put the crying emoji
What was the mashup?
What was the Seinfeld part?
It was clips of Seinfeld
Other characters dancing and stuff
Oh, yeah, it was really good
Yeah
Also, this song is very haunting
'Cause it's called Mask Off
Because he says, "Mask on, f***ing mask off"
Which is very simple imagery
But it's kind of, like, very eerie
The idea of having your mask on
And then you say, "F***ing mask off"
I love those flutes
Yeah, I want to listen to where the sample's from
This is Tommy Butler?
Yeah, 1976
Oh, whoa
Cold cheers
Prison cells
I guess that was it at the beginning
Bars of steel
Meet my
Woman tonight
Just ain't
Feeling right
Cold cheers
It's from an album called The Selma Album
Which is a musical tribute to Martin Luther King
Bars of steel
Cool
He wears an iron
Very haunting song
Cold chairs
How big was this?
I don't think there was a...
Was this on a tiny label back then?
I don't think it was a particularly well-known song
I mean, now it is
Really, like, vibed it out
Yeah
What a production on this, Rules
No, this is a great song
To me, this is like...
It came out a little early to be Song of the Summer
But, like...
Well, also, I feel like Song of the Summer is more of, like, a party
I mean, this is a party song
But, like, Song of the Summer
Also infers, like, it's, like, upbeat
I mean, positive
This is some real, like, Don Draper, like, Fourth of July barbecue
Kids are just blasting pop radio off the speakers
And this is playing
You're just kind of, like, suburban dad, like, staring into the...
Coals
Just looking at this, like, piece of meat
Just, like, watching it, like, blacken
The camera, like, zooms in on, like, the blackening
It's like David Lynch style
Just like...
Frank, those burgers almost ready?
Percocet
This is some 2017 stuff, too, like...
Is Percocet, like, an opioid?
What is Percocet?
Percocet's a painkiller, right?
So, it is, like, an opioid
I've never taken it recreationally
I hear about the opioid crisis, like, eight times a day
Yeah, Percocet's no joke
It's Oxycodone
Yeah, so it has...
What is the deal? I mean, this is kind of a sidetracking, but...
What's the deal?
What's the deal with Oxycodone?
What's the deal with opioids?
I mean, it's an epidemic, you know?
You know, Percocet, it's an...
Percocet is a combined opioid, non-opioid pain reliever
Yeah, like, you never got Percocet when you got your wisdom teeth out or something
Oh, yeah, I'm sure, yeah, or like Vicodin
It's like that kind of thing
Yeah, yeah, and obviously they're incredibly addictive
They're very easy to abuse
And, yeah, they're ruining people's lives
It's weird that, like, that's a thing on the market
It's the same chemical compound as, like, heroin
But...
Yeah, man
It just seems weird to me that that is a thing that...
Government...
People make money on
Government's the biggest drug pushers of all
Brutal
Yeah
But, come on, man, this is the song of the summer
We're not trying to...
I'm into that song
That's the top pick so far
So far
Yep
We'll wait 'til this
It edges out the Coldplay Chris Martin
Yeah, I think it has a touch more pathos
Oh, for sure
Yeah, it's a little bit
The next song on the Billboard charts right now
Is from the first week of summer
This song is huge
Still killing it
This song came out in April
This is the first single off Kendrick's new album
It's called "Humble"
Oh, yeah
You remember this one, Jake?
Sure
Did he say "Parmesan"?
Yes
Kendrick's done a great remix of "Mask Off"
Oh, really?
Yeah, it's really good
Hold up on your block
Then break it down
We playing Tetris
A.M. to the B.M.
B.M. to the A.M. funk
Beat up your per diem
You just got to hate 'em funk
If I quit your B.M.
I still rock Mercedes funk
If I quit this season
I still be the greatest funk
My left stroke just went viral
Right stroke
Put lil' baby in a spiral
Soprano, see, we like to keep it on the high note
It's levels to it
You and I know
Tell 'em be humble
Hold up
Sit down
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Be humble
Hold up, hold up, sit down
Sit down, sit down, sit down
Be humble
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Sit down
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Be humble
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Sit down
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Be humble
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Sit down
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Be humble
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Sit down
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Be humble
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Sit down
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Pull that arm
Thinkin' that he frontin' on me
Man, man
Get the phone off my stage
I'm the slam man
Get the phone off my, that ain't right
I ain't make a play blowin' up your whole life
I'm so, so sick and tired of the Photoshop
Show me somethin' natural like Alfa Romeo with your pride
Show me somethin' natural, I wanna feel some stretch marks
Still a takin' down right on your mama couch and polo socks
Ay, this is way too crazy
Ay, you do not amaze me
Ay, I blew cool from AC
Ay, Obama just paced me
Ay, I don't fabricate it
Ay, most of y'all be fakin'
Ay, I stay modest 'bout it
Ay, she elaborated
Ay, this that great Poupon, that Avion, that TED Talk
Ay, watch my soul speak
You let the meds talk
Ay, if I kill an arm, it won't be the alcohol
Ay, I'm the realest arm after all
Tell 'em be humble
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Sit down
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Be humble
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Sit down
Sit down, no
Be humble
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Tell 'em sit down
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Sit down
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Be humble
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Sit down
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Be humble
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Sit down, no
Be humble
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Sit down
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Be humble
Hold up, hold up, hold up
Sit down
Hold up, hold up, hold up
I mean, this is a great song, can't say anything bad about it
But, if again, so far, we're talking about a song
that is gonna conjure thee truly to me
And again, we're not even going too deep into the lyrics or anything
'cause obviously that adds a lot of meaning to songs
But just in terms of the sound of these songs
The palette
The palette of these songs that you're hearing
because you don't always get a chance to sit down on the lyrics
These songs are just pumping out everywhere
'cause these are the big songs of the moment
Again, as much as I like "Humble"
This sounds like summer 2017
Yeah, call it how it is
But we're not done yet
We're not done yet
We're gonna play the number four song
on the Billboard charts right now
This song's been out for a minute
People haven't really talked about this as a song of the summer contender
just because it's been out for such a long time
But it's killing it, still number four on the Billboard charts
It's on an album called "Divide"
Ooh, wait, hold on
By a young man out of Great Britain
One Direction guy?
Not a One Direction guy
Oh, Sheeran!
Yeah
This song is--
Bedsheets!
Four times platinum
Just to put things in perspective
So he's getting a check for like 400 bucks
Oh yeah
He's hitting the Chinese buffet
Just--
When we were at Staples Center the other night
Notice he's playing three nights in August
Yeah
Time Crisis Field Trip
We might have to roll out
Can you imagine an Ed Sheeran show?
Well, you might find it interesting
How long is this set, you think?
Like a tight 90 and he's out?
Eh...
Hour and a half to two
Yeah, maybe it ends up being an hour, hour 50
You know, he's up on stage by himself most of the time
That's tight
Say what you will about the music
Like guitar?
Guitar, just a looper pedal
Beatboxing his heart out
Huh
He might have a keyboard
Interesting
No band
He's rolling up to Staples Center with less people
Than, um, GBV
Rolling up to the Silver Lake Lounge
So much with the GBV
I'm just saying, Ed Sheeran's rolling up to Staples Center
That's a five man band, yeah
He's rolling up with him, sound guy, light guy
And like one of his day one buddies
No one else on stage, that's crazy
Actually, I kind of would like to see him with like--
Alright, should I try to get his tickets?
It's a hot ticket, but I'll, you know, I'll make some calls
Yeah, I think we need to try to do that
Alright, alright, I'll try
This isn't the best place to find a lover
So the bar is where I go
The opening of the set with this?
That's a good question
Nah, he's gonna bury this a little bit
He might open with one of his more, uh
He has like his more anthemic songs, like U2's, though
I feel like this would be a closer
Uh-huh
Hmm
Opens the second encore with this
Somebody like me, come on now, follow my lead
I may be crazy, don't mind me, say boy
Let's not talk too much
Grab on my waist and put that body on me
Come on now, follow my lead
Come, come on now, follow my lead
Hmm
I'm in love with the shape of you
We push and pull like a magnet do
Although my heart is falling too
I'm in love with your body
Last night you were in my room
And now my bedsheets smell like you
Every day discover who's screaming brand new
I like Ed Sheeran, but I mean, Shape of You
Oh, I, oh, I, oh, I
We've never talked about that song
We've never talked about this
Regardless of how we feel about the word bedsheets
Shape of You is the biggest song this year
Can't, you know, can't deny it
And honestly, that's a good message
Like, as much as some people don't like the bedsheets line
You know, not every word matters
It is what it is
I'm in love with the shape of you
The number three song on the Billboard charts right now
America's own Bruno Mars
That's what I like
Hey, hey, hey
I got a condo in Manhattan
Baby girl, what's happening?
You and your ass invited
So go on and get to clapping
Go pop a four-pack
I saw Bruno Mars' interview on TV
After his parents got divorced in Hawaii
And he and his brothers were staying with his dad
Who was unemployed at the time
And having like real rough times
Sleeping in cars
At one point they lived in this like weird
Like semi-functional building on a bird sanctuary
Whoa
So anyway, I was watching that and I was like
You know what man, Bruno Mars
He really made it happen
Not coming from very much
Always have a soft spot for him
Was he discovered in Hawaii?
Like how did he get his start?
I think like this classic
He was playing music with his family
Like performing at like resorts and stuff
And he would do an Elvis imitation
When he was like a really little kid
But I think pretty classic
Like came to the mainland with a dollar and a dream
Like flew to LA and was just like showed up
Yeah, like broke
Crashing on couches and he's doing his thing
Wow
That's what I like
Lucky for you
That's what I like
Nice taking trips to Puerto Rico
Say the word and we go
You can be my freaka
Girl I'll be your freaka
I'm not a freaka promise that I can't keep
I promise I'll just love you
I'll never say I'm not a freaka
She the one that bring them raindrops
We go back remember crisscross and hopscotch
You the one that hold me down when the block's hot
I make your dreams come true when you wake up
And your looks just the same without no makeup
Had to pull up on your mama see what you made of
Ain't got a word 'bout them comers 'cause my cake up
You can ride inside my life on that fame bus
'Cause I promise when we step out you'll be famous
Modern day bunny and clive what they named us
'Cause when we pull up on that fame bus
You can ride inside my life on that fame bus
'Cause I promise when we step out you'll be famous
Modern day bunny and clive what they named us
'Cause when we pull up
Yeah you're looking at the truth
The money never lie
No I'm the one yeah
I'm the one every morning in the dark
Know you wanna ride now
I'm the one yeah
Hear you sick of all those other imitators
Don't let the only real one intimidate ya
See you watching going out of time now
I'm the one yeah
I'm the only one yeah
I'm the one yeah
I'm the only one yeah
I'm the only one
Okay though
She beat her face up with that new Chanel
She like the price she see the ice and make her make her melt
When I met her in the club I asked her who she felt
Then she went and put that booty on that Gucci belt
We don't got no label
She say she want bottles
She ain't got no table
She don't got no money
She ain't got no table
She don't got no bed frame
She don't got no tables
We just watching Netflix
She ain't got no cable
Okay though
Plug plug plug I'm the plug for
She wanna pull her hair out hold the door for
Maybe that's only me
Don't care with me
Maybe don't care okay though
I love pop music I love major key music
But there is this something going through this top ten
Call it how it is
And then
Yeah it sounds so dorky
It's really like
Mask on
Mask off
Call it how it is
Yeah this is pretty lynched dude
I promise I swear I swear
I swear to God
Yo
Perk a sick
Evil is real
I killed Laura Palmer man
Future knows
Jake you correctly predicted the number one song
Right now on the chart so I guess this is more or less
The song of the summer I predicted two and one
Yes
Tapped in Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee
Featuring Justin Bieber Despacito
Sanfo what do you think of this song you fan
I feel like it's like
A throwback to like
The latin explosion
Of like the late 90s like
Remember when like Jennifer Lopez was starting
To pop off and like Ricky Martin and the
Spanish guitars kind of took over radio
Like eh this song
It's alright doesn't really do a lot
For me it's fine
Right and the truth is like
Latin music is one of like the
The biggest
I mean obviously there's many genres within it
But it's one of the biggest music markets
And genres in the world
So there's always something funny about
Like the American take of kind of like
Ooh Latin music is back
It's always like
Obviously
Obviously for like the vast majority
Of the Americas
Including many people within
North America Latin music never
Goes away so it's like the one or two
Songs that happen to cross over
They're not always like the best most indicative
Of like what's actually happening in Latin music
That said I have nothing wrong with this
Song Despacito
But it's like it's you know it's not
Doesn't mean it's the best song
But there's probably some more interesting ones happening
♪♪♪♪
♪♪♪♪
-♪♪ Come and move it in my direction ♪♪
♪♪ So thankful for that, such a blessing, yeah ♪♪
♪♪ Turn every situation into heaven, yeah ♪♪
♪♪ Oh, oh, you are ♪♪
♪♪ My sunrise on the darkest day ♪♪
♪♪ Got me feeling some kind of way ♪♪
♪♪ Make me want to savor every moment slowly ♪♪
♪♪ Slowly ♪♪
♪♪ You fit me, tell 'em they love how you put it on ♪♪
♪♪ Got the only key, know how to turn it on ♪♪
♪♪ Make a way, you never lie, my ear the only words I want to hear
♪♪ Baby, take it slow so we can last long ♪♪
-I mean, couldn't you hear, like, Nick Lachey
singing this song in, like, 1999?
-Oh, totally.
Well, you know, it's funny.
We've heard this song so many times.
We don't need to listen to it again.
So you're talking about one of the artists --
We were talking about the late '90s Latin music explosion.
And what's funny is that, arguably,
there's a little bit of a Latin crossover
happening on the American pop charts right now.
A bit.
Songs like "Despacito."
But DJ Khaled dropped his newest single.
It's not in the top 10 yet, although I do have a friend
who said, "Now, this is the real song of the summer."
So I think it's worth throwing in as a bonus.
Funnily enough, this song is based on a song
from Carlos Santana's late '90s breakthrough album,
"Supernatural." -Oof!
-So this is DJ Khaled with Rihanna.
The song is called "Wild Thoughts,"
and it's fully based on a late '90s Latin song.
But it's not actually Carlos Santana playing guitar.
It's kind of like the karaoke version.
-Like, fake Santana?
-Yeah, they kind of, like, recreated his guitar parts.
♪♪
-So this is riffing off a deep cut
off the Santana record.
That had "Smooth" on it. -Not a deep cut.
It was a hit. -Maria Maria.
-Yeah. -The White Club show on it.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
-Oh, you hear that? It's like, not quite Carlos.
-Yeah.
Yeah, it's stiff.
-Let's go! -Let's go!
-This is the original.
♪♪
-Oh, yeah.
-Ladies and gents, turn up your sound system
to the sound of Carlos Santana
and the GMB product.
-Same album as "Smooth," but with a huge album.
-Maria Maria
She remind me of a West Side Story
-I mean, I guess it's a testament to this song
that they barely had to change it
and it still kind of works on the radio.
-She living the life just like a movie star
Oh, Maria Maria
She found a love in East LA
To the sounds of the guitar, yeah, yeah
Play by Carlos Santana
-Pretty sick line.
-Yeah. -But that's Wu-Tang Clan.
Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to [bleep] with, that guitar line.
-♪♪ Da-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪♪
Oh, yeah. -Wu-Tang Clan.
So it's like a sample. -It sounds like -- Is it?
-I'm pretty sure Wyclef was referencing Wu-Tang
when he did this song, which then Khaled is sampling.
-Wow. I love the layers of intertexturality.
-That's deep. -So there you have it.
The real song of the summer...
-♪♪ We-er-na-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪♪
-...came out in 1999.
Carlos Santana, Maria Maria.
Okay, but back to the ones that were actually on the list.
I mean, I think -- Come on. It's unanimous, man.
Song of the summer.
♪♪
But we really got to say... -That's how loud it is.
-...you should never take Percocet
unless prescribed by a doctor. -I'm a funkist, man.
-You certainly shouldn't mix it with Molly.
-♪♪ Yo, Percocet, Molly Percocet ♪♪
-2017, man. -♪♪ Percocet, Molly Percocet ♪♪
♪♪ Rep the set, gotta rep the set ♪♪
♪♪ Chase a chick, never chase a -- ♪♪
♪♪ Mask on, get mask on ♪♪
♪♪ Mask on, get mask on ♪♪
♪♪ Percocet, Molly Percocet ♪♪
♪♪ Chase a chick, never chase a -- ♪♪
♪♪ Two cups, toast her with the gang ♪♪
♪♪ From full steps to a whole 'nother domain ♪♪
♪♪ Out the bottom, I'm a living proof ♪♪
♪♪ And compromising half a million on the coupe ♪♪
♪♪ Drug houses, looking like Peru ♪♪
♪♪ Graduated, I was overdue ♪♪
♪♪ Pink Molly, I can barely move ♪♪
♪♪ Ask about me, I'm gonna bust a move ♪♪
♪♪ Red James, 33 chains ♪♪
♪♪ Oceanair, cruising big scheme ♪♪
♪♪ Top bump, that's a liability ♪♪
♪♪ Hit the gas, boosting my adrenaline ♪♪
♪♪ Percocet, Molly Percocet ♪♪
♪♪ Rep the set, gotta rep the set ♪♪
♪♪ Chase a chick, never chase a -- ♪♪
♪♪ Mask on, get mask on ♪♪
♪♪ Mask on, get mask on ♪♪
♪♪ Percocet, Molly Percocet ♪♪
♪♪ Chase a chick, never chase a -- ♪♪
♪♪ Photo maybe, I drive anything ♪♪
♪♪ Buy more rings, make 'em go insane ♪♪
♪♪
♪♪ My guillotine, drink from Mel's, yeah ♪♪
♪♪ Taking beams, go to those extremes ♪♪
♪♪ Parliament, Karl and Mari wins ♪♪
♪♪ Parlay in Vegas, we was in attendance ♪♪
♪♪ Before the business, Deodora lenses ♪♪
♪♪ More prescriptions, focus on the mission ♪♪
♪♪ Intermission, never take a break ♪♪
♪♪ Switch states, test out foreign plates ♪♪
♪♪ Ain't no way, ain't no -- way ♪♪
♪♪ We come to play, we done come to play ♪♪
♪♪ Rob the bank, we gon' rob the gang ♪♪
♪♪ They gang, we gang, but they are not the same ♪♪
♪♪ Percocet, Molly Percocet ♪♪
♪♪ Percocet, Molly Percocet ♪♪
♪♪ Replicit, got a replica ♪♪
♪♪ Chase a chick, never chase a -- ♪♪
♪♪ Mask on, get mask on ♪♪
♪♪ Percocet, Molly Percocet ♪♪
♪♪ Chase a chick, never chase a -- ♪♪
♪♪ Mask on, get mask on ♪♪
♪♪ Mask on, get mask on ♪♪
♪♪ Mask on, get mask on ♪♪
♪♪ Gas gun, never not on ♪♪
-Well, this was kind of a lazy
first week of summer job crisis.
-Yeah, man.
This was just, like, sitting in an inflatable tube,
just floating down the river.
-Floating down the lazy river, man.
I hope everybody listening was, uh,
cracking a brew and in a hammock.
-[ Chuckles ]
-Dipping your toes in the pool.
Thanks to Kenny for calling in,
giving us some youth perspective on the show.
Thanks to Mark Schatzker for calling in
and teaching us about the Dorito effect.
Thanks to Roger Waters for rocking the Staples Center.
And thanks to the Staples Corporation
for not only being far superior to Office Depot,
but also for lending your name to L.A.'s best arena.
Anything to add, Jake? -It's a timeless name.
-Staples Center.
I mean, if I were -- -It's a clean name.
-If I'm equidistant from a Staples and an Office Depot,
I'm hitting Staples, man.
-That red -- that red facade.
-Yeah, I love the red facade.
All right, we'll talk to you guys in two weeks.
-You're listening to...
"Time Crisis" on Beast1.
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