Episode 52: Surprise! It’s James Corden
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Transcript
Time Crisis, back in effect.
I'm joined by Jake, a man who's about to get married.
Slash got married. Depends how you look at it.
We'll be talking about Time Crisis topics, like John Mayer, The Grateful Dead.
Maybe even Boz Skax.
Lot of guitarists.
This is...
Time Crisis, with Eds Runkainen.
Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.
One.
They passed me by, all of those great romances
They were a pal to a manly, all my rightful chances
My picture clear, everything seemed so easy
And so I dealt to the blow, when the bus had to go
Now it's different, I want you to know
One of us is crying, one of us is lying
He's the lonely man
Time Crisis, September 24th, 2017.
Jake and I are not actually recording on September 24th.
We're doing a real early one right now.
The reason being, there's a lot of reasons why we're recording early.
The most important is that Jake's about to get married.
He will have gotten married by the time you're hearing this.
So congratulations, Jake.
Thank you.
I feel like we haven't really talked much about your engagement/marriage on the show.
Well, I'm a private person.
Jake really values his privacy.
I mean, we don't have to get into specific details, but just on a basic level...
The wedding went well, went great.
You think the wedding went well?
It was everything I could have dreamed of.
Maybe just on some basic questions.
First marriage?
Yeah.
I was asked that recently. Who asked me that?
Oh, oh, okay.
So this is kind of funny, actually.
Our wedding announcement is going to be in the New York Times.
Because Hannah's mom, Linda Greenhouse, used to work for the Times.
And so she was like, "Hannah, you should really try to get your wedding announcement in the Times."
It's like something that...
Oh, yeah, I love that.
So it's like some New York real estate guy marrying someone that went to Vassar or something.
Yeah, it's always like Ivy League doctors and lawyers.
Wait, so is it going to be Jake Longstreth, son of...
Yeah.
From Connecticut.
Yeah.
What's your town again in Connecticut?
Southbury.
Jake Longstreth of Southbury, Connecticut.
Yeah, and I went into very elaborate detail with this person from the Times about...
Because they were interviewing you.
About my parents' careers.
Right.
What did they want?
They wanted all of the...
I couldn't believe the level of detail they wanted.
They were like, "Well, when your mom worked for the state of Connecticut in the chief state's attorney's office,
was that in Rocky Hill or Wallingford?"
And I'm like, "I don't know."
Like they moved offices at some point in the '90s.
That's sick.
Do you think they'll mention brother Dave Longstreth of Indie Rock Band Dirty Projectors?
Well, I think so.
And actually, you know what's funny, man?
Time Crisis...
Might get a mention?
Well, I was debating whether to mention it.
Yeah.
I actually leaned against mentioning it.
Fair enough.
I don't know why, though.
I was sort of like, "That seems like...
I mean, it's a fun show.
I love the show."
No, but first and foremost, you're a painter.
Right, I'm an art...
Yeah.
No offense taken.
You certainly don't want to be known as a Time Crisis host.
Even though my Wikipedia page says artist/radio personality.
Wait, isn't it American painter/radio personality?
Well, as long as the painter's first.
Yeah, yeah.
I know, but I can understand.
New York Times is kind of high stakes.
You don't want it to say like...
Noted Beats 1 radio host Jake Longstreth recently tied the knot.
No, it's probably more formal language than that.
So they asked me, they were like, "Is this your first marriage?"
Yeah.
And I was like, "Yep."
I thought it was like a funny question.
Like, if it was my second marriage, would it say that?
Would it say, "Mr. Longstreth, previously married."
Yeah, that'd be crazy.
It's like, if somebody really wanted their wedding announcement to be in the New York Times,
probably the last thing you would want is to be like,
previously married to this person who probably is not psyched about being mentioned.
Well, that's tight.
So that might be out today.
Yeah, Sunday the 24th.
The day of the airing.
Everyone go pick up a Sunday Times.
I love that.
Flip to the wedding or vow section.
That's incredible.
We did a stressful headshot.
Yeah, headshot.
We just did it this morning.
We forgot to get it to them.
iPhone?
Just selfie?
Yep, iPhone selfie.
And we also tried on Hannah's laptop.
Yeah.
To like try to do that, but like it's too low res.
What were you wearing in the picture?
T-shirt.
What T-shirt?
A Sweet Martha's cookie jar?
No, just a gray T-shirt that says, "Chill out."
I was wondering, okay.
But you can't see the chill out.
I want to point out, it's also an ash gray T-shirt.
Yeah.
Kind of like a gym T-shirt.
I think it's a black and white photo though, but maybe I'm wrong.
Wait, why does the T-shirt say, "Chill out?"
What is that?
I don't know.
Hannah got this from me.
At like a truck stop?
Yeah.
It's like a funny, dumb T-shirt.
It just says, "Chill out."
[laughs]
It's not the worst advice.
Mr. Longstreth, pictured above in an ash gray, "Chill out" T-shirt.
Hopefully the photo is acceptable.
They were very intense and specific about the specs in the photo.
Well, think about it.
Most people who are probably sending in their photo are probably having like a big, fancy wedding.
Yeah.
They get a professional photographer, and they probably do their makeup and stuff.
You guys are just sending in a laptop picture.
We actually went to the Huntington Gardens a month ago and had our friend, who has a nice SLR,
shoot photos of us, and we were wearing nice clothes.
Yeah.
I'm a solid seven inches taller than Hannah.
Right.
Our heads are at different levels.
Right.
I talked to the Times person last week, and they were like, "We need to have your heads at the same level."
We can't have--
Right.
It's just like a tight, cropped headshot.
Yeah.
Then we were like, "Oh, okay," and then we forgot about it.
Then this morning, Hannah was like, "Oh, my God.
We have to send in the headshots."
Then I'm like crouching.
Right.
I'm doing like a squat.
Speaking of that, I went to the Emmys, but one thing I noticed is that--
Okay, so you know when somebody wins an Emmy, and there's a whole crew of people on stage?
Like when Saturday Night Live wins, and they have 15 people on stage?
You have the person up front speaking, and then you notice that certain people who'd been around the block would squat a little bit
because when the camera's focused on the award winner, and you have a whole phalanx of people in the back,
almost all their heads are getting cut off.
I kept noticing there would be some people--
Maybe they could kind of see the monitor or something.
There would be some people standing in the back who'd take themselves down like a solid six inches.
In person, you're looking at somebody just squatting on stage.
You're just like, "What are you doing?"
Then you look at the live feed, and you're kind of like, "Oh, all right."
I guess you want to get your whole face in there.
That's this funny thing that happens at awards shows.
People are just like--
Just like, "Hold that. Hold that ab. Tighten the stomach up."
Yeah, straight up, they're doing squats so that their face can be on TV.
Got to have your face on TV.
Did you see Spicer?
Oh, yeah.
Did you chill with him?
No, we did not chill with him, but we went to an after party.
Don't tell me-- No, my-- Are you serious?
He was there.
I mean, were people already aware of the backlash?
I was in punching distance of Spicer.
Spitting distance?
He was up in the mix. It was weird.
You know, like, when you're actually sitting in the audience at these award shows,
it's actually so stupid. It's so much better to watch on TV,
'cause it's like you're in a big, boomy arena.
You can barely hear what's going on, so you don't really have a--
So we kind of saw Sean Spicer and were like, "What?"
That was really--
And then, at this party, he was there, and--
Where was the party?
It was at a kind of fancy club in Hollywood.
Uh-huh.
A chic little club.
So it's fun. I'm looking around, and you see, like,
who-- You know, all these big celebrities, Colbert and all these people
and all the cast of Modern Family and stuff,
and you just see Sean Spicer.
He-- Was he rolling with a crew?
Well, this is kind of on our way out.
Actually, we were standing with somebody who kind of saw him,
and they were like, "All right."
'Cause we were already-- They were tired,
and we were already talking to some people who were like, "Should we leave?"
And then we saw him, and everybody was like, "Yeah, let's bounce."
But on our way out, he was laughing, yucking it up, having the time of his life.
He was surrounded by a group of people.
None of the, like, kind of famous celebrities we're talking to,
but he was surrounded by this group of kind of younger people
that he was, like, cracking jokes with them and stuff,
and I was like, "What are they talking about?
This is so weird."
Wow.
Not feeling this, and then bounced.
Had you looked at Twitter yet and seen that Twitter was exploding?
I hadn't.
This is completely inappropriate and insane.
No, that was also funny to be in this bizarre situation,
just kind of watching it live.
So we were kind of, like, in the ride from the theater to the after party,
and we hadn't looked at Twitter yet, so we were just like--
It's also funny 'cause, like, Twitter amplifies stuff in such an extreme way.
So we were just kind of like-- They were like,
"That was weird that they got Sean Spicer.
Yeah, that didn't seem necessary."
And we were kind of like, "Well, I guess it's just for, like, the laughs."
Probably the audience loved it at home.
I mean, it's still kind of weird to see Twitter that's just like,
"It's disgusting that these Hollywood fascists
would even just consider to bring this dude out."
It's strange.
That's interesting to hear.
I mean, if you were there, you're saying, you know,
it was just kind of another gag.
'Cause I saw it on Twitter, and I was like, "Yeah, that is insane."
Like, it seemed to me like--
Because I received that news secondhand through this insanely opinionated
aggregate of people's opinions,
then it sort of is like, "Yeah, that is crazy.
That is crazy tone deaf."
Also, like, Colbert seems so smart and cynical in the best way.
I mean, I guess he kind of roasted him,
but obviously that's not going to be enough
when you're talking about, like, you know, real-life politics.
I guess also sitting in the theater, we kind of looked around,
and so many people had this weird look on their face
that the atmosphere in the theater was already kind of, like, harsh,
that people were like, "Whoa, [bleep] this dude."
So in a weird way, it almost seemed like the appropriate response--
Yeah, you know, I guess that's the thing.
Being there and seeing people already be kind of harshed out,
I was like, "All right, yeah. People don't like this guy.
They know that he's a--you know, he worked for a really bad person
spreading lies."
So that secondary idea of, like, but should he have been there in the first place,
that only dawned on us later as we were kind of, like, rolling out and being like--
'cause we actually started to talk about the--you're just there,
so this guy comes on stage and he leaves,
and then we're talking about the logistics of it, and we're like,
"Whoa," so they had to reach out to him, be like,
"You know, can we arrange Mr. Spicer's travel?
First class, of course. What hotel does he want?"
And then you start thinking about that stuff, and you're like--
to put him on TV in front of millions of people,
and then you're like, "Oh, yeah, that's insane."
♪ They're gonna put me in the movies ♪
♪ They're gonna make a big star out of me ♪
♪ We'll make a film about a man that's sad and lonely ♪
♪ And all I gotta do is act naturally ♪
♪ Well, I bet you I'm gonna be a big star ♪
♪ Might win an Oscar, you can never tell ♪
♪ The movie's gonna make me a big star ♪
♪ 'Cause I can play the part so well ♪
♪ Well, I hope you'll come and see me in the movies ♪
♪ Then I'll know that you will plainly see ♪
♪ The biggest fool that ever hit the big time ♪
♪ And all I gotta do is act naturally ♪
You know what it is? It's become so fashionable now,
the past 10, 15 years, that everybody has to poke fun at themselves.
It used to be this really--
Remember, it started maybe in the late '90s
when some played-out old celebrity would come out
and have a joke about themselves and be like,
"Yeah, it's me, the guy from that '70s TV show."
Or just be like, "Yeah."
Or Bob Saget, he was a pioneer of that,
being like, "Hey, you probably know me as the dad from Full House.
- Well, guess what?" - "I got a filthy mouth."
"I got a filthy mouth, so suck my d--k, you f--king piece of s--t."
And it was like, "Aah!"
That was really novel at the time to be like,
"So, p--t, my p--t!"
And it was like, "Oh, my God!"
And then it was also really novel for people to come out and be like,
"Yeah, you know, I know you hate me.
Well, guess what? I can laugh about it."
Actually, this year, with Trump in the White House,
it really felt like that kind of self-referential celebrity stuff
was coming to an end.
And I think one of the smarter things that I saw pointed out
about the Sean Spicer thing was they were like,
"Okay, this is Sean Spicer. This is so soon.
This is how it's going to go down for all these guys.
This is how it's going to go down for Trump."
I mean, even look at the way, like, Bush can, like,
have a picture of Michelle Obama giving him a hug and goes viral.
Or like Bush is doing his weird paintings.
Yeah, friendship goals, painting goals.
And it's like, you can totally picture
in the Comedy Central roast of Donald Trump 2025,
and he gets up and is like, "I know I did a few crazy things.
Let's just say I was hanging out with Steve Bannon a little too much."
Like, everybody's like dying.
I remember we had a joke on this show about Trump doing advertising
for, like, Rockstar Energy Drink and being like,
"That was a crazy 18 months.
Not as crazy as the amount of caffeine in the new Rockstar Energy Drink."
That was a crazy eight years.
Oh, God.
It's so crazy.
You know Trump will go back to, like, bad TV and, like,
celebrity culture as soon as he's out of office,
whether he resigns or serves eight years.
He'll find his way in.
He'll just find it.
Although, look, there's going to be opposition to it, which is good.
But you know what also is interesting?
Remember in the O.J. documentary series, O.J. Made in America?
Yeah.
Now, in the mid-'90s, most people believed that he did, in fact,
murder two people.
Yeah.
His wife was an abusive spouse to his ex-wife.
So when he got free, they talk about how he wasn't welcomed back into polite society.
He tried to go to the same Brentwood, Beverly Hills restaurants.
It didn't work.
He had to, like, move to Florida.
His career was kind of messed up.
I don't know what he expected, but clearly people iced him out.
And there's some part of me that feels like on one level in 2017 people are more
sensitive than ever, call out everything.
And then there's this equally strong oppositional force that's just as extreme,
if not more extreme, that's kind of like you can laugh about everything.
So weirdly, I almost feel like if the O.J. thing had happened in 2017,
he also because of social media, even if they didn't let him into his Brentwood
restaurant, he could just be like, "All right, let me throw an Instagram Live.
What's up, O.J. family? I'm here.
These jackasses won't let me in."
He could become like in the same way Alex Jones can talk directly to his fan base.
Right.
If you're O.J. or something, "Okay, these snooty people don't want to let me
in the restaurant anymore," he'd weirdly have more of a career now.
Yeah.
There probably were a bunch of people after O.J. who would have supported him,
but the mainstream media wouldn't help him, so he had to do weird straight-to-video
prank shows and stuff, club appearances.
But even the people that aren't fans, as clearly is the case with Spicer,
are on board with immediately making it a joke again.
That's interesting. Yeah, 2017.
I mean, it's like all--
One month after the acquittal, O.J. on Colbert Tonight.
Now--
I bet Stern would have him on.
Jesus.
That will happen, don't you think?
Okay, so let me get this straight.
Did you kill your wife?
Come on. Just tell us.
Imagine if he just admits it on Stern.
Howard, you get people to say the crazy--
Yeah, I did it.
Come on.
Howard, you're the master.
Howard, you are-- Okay.
Come on.
Okay, even if Howard Stern wouldn't have him on, even if Colbert wouldn't have him on,
I'm picturing, like, 2017, O.J. acquittal, immediately comes out of prison,
10 million Twitter followers.
The Instagram is popping.
I mean, think about that.
Trump's going to have millions of--
Ugh.
Brutal.
I like that second one.
I like that.
Gumbo.
You want to know what's more important than throwing away money in a strip club?
Credit.
You ever wonder why Jewish people own all the property in America?
That's how they did it.
Financial freedom, my only hope.
Living rich and dying broke.
I bought some artwork for one million.
Two years later, that shit worth two million.
Two years later, that shit worth eight million.
I can't wait to get this shit with my children.
Y'all think it's bougie, I'm like, it's fine.
But I'm trying to give you a million dollars' worth of game for $9.99.
I turn a two to a four, four to an eight.
I turned my life into a nice first week release date.
Mmm.
Y'all here still taking advances, huh?
Me and my niggas taking real chances, uh.
You're on the gram, holding money to your ear.
There's a disconnect, we don't pull that money over here, yeah.
Light jigga, dark jigga, faux jigga, real jigga.
Rich jigga, pole jigga, house jigga, feel jigga.
Still jigga.
Still jigga.
You see me?
Light jigga, dark jigga, faux jigga, real jigga.
Rich jigga, pole jigga, house jigga, feel jigga.
Well, we got a hell of a show.
Even though we're pre-taping, we're still bringing
that classic time crisis energy.
We're going to be listening to the top five songs from today and 1976.
We're going to be talking about Boz Skaggs, John Mayer,
The Grateful Dead, The Juggalo March.
There's so much to go deep on, man.
Just all the best music.
Exactly.
You're listening to Time Crisis on Beat One.
They see each other for the first time as kids in school.
This simple boy meets girl, they grab and they say, I do.
My heart racing, correlating, the fact
it only seems to make them.
The lost boys, the lost girls, where are all my lost boys?
Always be yourself and never give them a shame.
See, the only real change is realising the same.
I've been chopping up, roving, carving up.
Everybody used to say I'm strange.
I'm opening their minds.
It used to be so engaged.
Serenade pieces that are broken.
Turn the pill once you let the picture flip,
then you can start to move the wheels.
Love is never straightforward.
It bends and it kills.
Regardless of who you're loving, Orlando's still with the world.
Yo, keep doing what you do.
Just because they say their love don't look like you,
I know I'm bound to.
Because you and me, we're like a spoon.
So don't let the witch fool.
Because they say their love don't look like you.
Oh, if they only knew that me and you were lost bones.
Yo, save the judge.
Man said again, said he'd change the nurse.
All I want to do is just salvage us.
And everybody looking at me like I'm an angel.
Though it's as if it took some time to be brave enough.
Like being yourself is just dangerous.
Hold up, giving up the aim enough to keep us down.
Hook on all of us though.
Whoever they're living in any hemisphere,
never fear being considered weird or irregular.
And all of yourself to be void of the shelf.
Because when they said actions speak louder,
it was with a mouth.
Keep doing what you do.
Just because they say their love don't look like you,
I know I'm bound to.
Because you and me, we're like a spoon.
So don't let the witch fool.
Because they say their love don't look like you.
Oh, if they only knew that me and you were lost bones.
You know, you know, you know, you know.
Please don't say so much as I'm breaking for you.
I never knew how everybody is a bummer.
Keep doing what you do.
Just because they say their love don't look like you,
I know I'm bound to.
Because you and me, we're like a spoon.
So don't let the witch fool.
Because they say their love don't look like you.
Oh, if they only knew that me and you were lost bones.
Hello.
It's me.
Is there anybody there?
Hey.
I'm lying out of bounds.
With your woman.
Is there anybody there?
So--
Hello.
--Jake, we were talking last weekend.
The time that you went to go see the dead and co, to me,
is just the time crisis gift that keeps on giving.
And I just want to explain to everybody again,
because at this point, if you're a regular time crisis listener,
you have to have some cursory familiarity
with the Grateful Dead.
But just so everybody understands,
Grateful Dead was a band for almost 30 years.
The leader, kind of main singer, guitar god Jerry Garcia
died in '95.
Then you had all the other guys kind of doing this and that.
And then the Grateful Dead, the past year,
has been touring as dead and company
and doing a fairly big tour where
it's a few of the original members plus John Mayer
kind of filling in for Jerry Garcia.
Right.
I feel like for some reason this tour,
people are talking about it as if it's
almost like going to see the Grateful Dead or something.
Are they?
Maybe it's just because of John Mayer.
It's a higher profile than an early 2000s Phil Lesch
and Friends.
Right.
I mean, yeah.
I mean, since--
Because they're doing all Grateful Dead songs.
Plus years of their surviving members
with a rotating cast of other players
doing different versions of dead spinoff bands.
It just seems like this is being billed as more official.
And then, well, in 2015, there was the 50th anniversary
of the dead.
They're doing these huge stadium shows.
They had Trey from Phish filling in.
Yeah.
They had John Mayer filling in.
They hosted the three-day festival in Chicago
called Fare Thee Well, which was like the supposed
end of the dead, like the whole run.
Bob and Phil were hanging up.
We're done.
It was the 20th anniversary of Jerry's death
because his last show was at Soldier Field in Chicago.
In '95.
Right.
So this is almost like the post-script.
It's like, you know what, man?
We can't go out like that.
We had so much fun at those 50th shows.
Well, that's what's lame.
It's like, if you're going to go out, at least do what LCD did
and take six years off.
Right.
They took one year.
You can't-- I mean, I don't think they even took a year off.
They were out touring like last year.
OK, that's fine.
Phil is no longer touring.
Phil, the bass player, was like, I'm out.
But Bob and--
Bob, we at least got to take off six years like LCD.
I'm out, man.
If you came to me with LCD model, I might be down, but--
I'll be 81 at that point.
OK, so anyway, you go to see Dead & Co at Hollywood Bowl.
Right.
John Mayer on guitar.
This was like back in May or June.
This was back in May.
You didn't have a great time.
It was fun to go there with my friends.
We got on the bus in Pasadena at the park and ride.
Yeah.
Snuck on a 12-pack, sitting in the back of the bus.
Sick.
Takes you down the 134.
Modellos?
Yeah.
OK.
On brand.
The bus takes you to the Hollywood Bowl.
We get out there.
There's like a really crusty lot scene.
Just a buff scene, man.
Yeah.
Just people who are like gone, like with a 1,000 yard stare.
Just weird old hippies selling trinkets.
Yeah, well, that is mellow.
It's more like the people who are in their 30s or their 20s,
who are like gacked out on something.
And then we get into the venue.
We got great seats.
Paid a small fortune for them.
And I thought the show sucked musically.
And the crowd was just eating it up, drinking the Kool-Aid.
You were one of the only dudes who had the balls to just say--
Yeah.
OK, so my buddy Chris--
This is not kind.
This is buff.
My buddy Chris Fallon was with us.
And he shot a little impromptu video, maybe like second song
in, third song in.
He's like, Jake, first impressions.
And I just kind of like went off,
and I said that I thought John Mayer was lame and kind
of tasteless and not really bringing the whole lot.
Pretty generic, like virtuosic guitar playing.
Anyway, Chris posted it to Instagram.
And it went on a local LA level.
It went viral.
Because then two weeks later, I'm
in the Home Depot in Lincoln Heights.
And this dude comes up to me.
He's like, dude, this sounds so weird.
But straight up, man, I saw you on Instagram yesterday.
My buddy showed me the video.
And it's you just like ripping into John Mayer
in his performance at the Dead Show.
And I was like, wait, do you know Chris?
He's like, no.
Who?
Who's that?
He's like, no, my buddy just showed me the video.
I'm like, what?
Wait, didn't you say there was yet another person
came over to you?
Yeah, yeah.
And then like a month later, like quite a ways after,
I was at an art opening.
Now, this guy did know Chris.
But he was like, oh, hey, man.
Like, oh, I loved you on Chris's Instagram
just tearing into Mayer.
Thought that was just so on point.
I was like, [BLEEP] damn, man.
All right, so we got to play the video in question.
So this is what your buddy Chris posted.
This is Jake ripping into John Mayer.
This was filmed at the Hollywood Bowl concert.
Yeah, three songs in.
[MUSIC - "THE BEST TIME OF THE YEAR"]
There's the music.
Sounds like Clapton.
[MUSIC - "THE BEST TIME OF THE YEAR"]
Ooh.
See some bald-headed hippies.
Are you doing a video?
First impressions, Jake Longstrap.
The Mayer is brutal.
Bad Mayer.
Bad Mayer.
People are like, they love John Mayer.
It's awful.
It's not working.
If you like Stevie Ray Vaughan, that's fine.
We're made to be seen early.
Only the third song in the set.
None of the lyricism of Jerry.
None of it.
Respect.
No lyricism here.
Not a lot of soul going on.
Are we at like a TGA Friday or something?
It's like, what are--
[MUSIC - "THE BEST TIME OF THE YEAR"]
This is terrible.
[MUSIC - "THE BEST TIME OF THE YEAR"]
Love it.
So also just to paint the picture,
one thing I like about this video that he posted
is it starts out, the camera's pointed at the stage.
You see all these older hippies just kind of bobbing
their heads, having a great time.
Then you pan over to Jake, just looking harshed out.
And then you just start ripping it.
It's just like a real contrast.
Everybody's just kind of hippie dancing, enjoying it.
And I get it.
People are there to have a good time.
You know, people want to have a good time.
I wanted to have a good time, but I'm also not going to
relinquish all critical thought about it.
You were looking for guitar lyricism.
That's one of the real transcendent and beautiful parts
about the Dead's music is Jerry's touch on the guitar.
Right.
His tone and his choices.
TTL, tone, touch, and lyricism.
Woo.
That's what makes a good guitarist.
I mean, Jerry was an incredibly unique guitarist.
There's very few really distinct guitarists
where you're like, oh, that's them playing solo.
So in the video, you said this is cool
if you like Stevie Ray Vaughan, because you're not a fan of SRV.
Not really.
I mean, I know people are ride or die SRV.
It just sounds like--
Some fake Jimi Hendrix.
Yeah, it just sounds like a really accomplished bar band,
like blues, Texas blues.
I like this conversation, because I think it also--
on the show, we talk so much about the tasteful palate
of the 1970s.
And I think sometimes people get a twist and say, well,
is that all you need to make good music in Jake's book?
All you need is the tasteful palate of '70s stuff?
No, you also need tone, touch, and lyricism.
You need good songs.
Oh, and good songs.
That's happened before on this show, where we're listening
to some random top five from the '70s.
And even with that palate.
And you're like, what?
It's the perfect palate.
You don't like it?
I'm like, come on, bro.
It doesn't have--
It's not just the palate.
The band Bread, the band America, great palates.
Bad songs.
I mean, I can get down with a couple of America songs.
And lyricism, tone and touch, TTL.
Good tone.
Good tone.
Decent touch.
Not a lot of lyricism.
I used to have these superhero trading cards
when I was a kid, like X-Men trading cards.
And I actually learned a lot of words from them,
because I was probably like eight or nine.
And you'd flip over and be like, Wolverine.
And it'd be like, stamina, nine.
And I just remember this is the first time I've ever--
Strength.
I've heard the word stamina.
Strength, 10.
Power.
We should do like '70s musician trading cards on the back.
Tone.
Touch.
Lyricism.
So America would be like, tone, nine.
Touch, eight.
Lyricism, two.
Four.
Yeah.
(SINGING) Well, I tried to make it Sunday,
but I got so damn depressed that I set my sights on Monday.
And I got myself undressed.
I ain't ready for the altar, but I
do agree there's times when a woman sure
can be a friend of mine.
Well, I keep on thinking about you, sister golden hair
surprise.
And I just can't live without you.
Can't you see it in my eyes?
I've been one poor, poorest man.
And I've been due too far to find.
But it doesn't mean you ain't been on my mind.
Will you meet me in the air?
Will you meet me in the air?
Will you love me just a little?
Just enough to show you care?
Well, I tried to fake it.
I don't mind saying I just can't make it.
Time crisis.
Well, speaking of America, Jake, you
did some real digging the past week.
And you came across a band that I'd never heard of
that we need to talk about.
Yeah, Madison Rising.
OK, so Madison Rising bills themselves
as America's most patriotic rock band.
Yeah, well, a little back story.
Yeah, how did you find them?
I was reading about the Juggalo March.
Right.
In DC, which obviously that's the most 2017 fascinating thing
ever.
And for people who have been living
under a rock for the past 20 years,
Juggalos are fans of the Insane Clown Posse.
It's bigger than just a fandom, though.
It's kind of a culture and a lifestyle.
The Juggalos have been classified as a gang by the FBI.
So they're marching on DC to kind of fight for their rights
to explain that they shouldn't be discriminated against.
That is kind of crazy.
I mean, it'd be like saying the Deadheads are a gang.
And there were a lot of sad stories in this long article
I read on the AV Club about the Juggalo March,
about people with Juggalo tattoos who then lost custody
of their kids in a court case because they
had Juggalo tattoos.
And that's a gang affiliation.
So it's really no joke.
Literally, people's rights are being compromised or straight
up violated because some judge somewhere in Ohio is like,
well, sir, as a member of a gang,
the state cannot permit you to be in your child's life.
OK, so it's really bad.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's why they did it.
It wasn't just like a joke.
Yeah.
I mean, it is funny, obviously, the Juggalos marching on DC.
If you zoom out, it's funny.
And I think Juggalos have a sense of humor
about the fact that they wear face paint and stuff.
But no, you're right.
That's really serious that they're
being targeted that way.
So there was this big march and then a lot of speakers.
And then a band played--
well, ICP played.
And then a band called Madison Rising also played.
And I was reading the description of the whole march.
And that name caught my eye.
I was like, who's Madison Rising?
And then I looked at their Wikipedia page
and self-described their biggest influence is Creed.
Can you take me higher?
And it's like Ted Nugent level, quote unquote,
patriotism with the most guitar center,
just pathetic, kind of like proto grunge.
It's like a band you would see on The Simpsons,
except it's real.
It kind of seems like a fake band.
Yeah.
But they had Madison Rising on the bill.
And this is live before the nationwide NASCAR
race at Daytona.
Now here to perform our national anthem,
please welcome America's most patriotic rock
band, Madison Rising.
That's too funny.
That would be Creedence Clearwater Revival.
Yeah, first of all, not America's most patriotic rock
band.
Most patriotic rock band.
Who do you think-- who is the most patriotic rock band?
Vampire Weekend.
Fugazi?
Wayful Dead?
Bruce Springsteen.
OK, so just to paint the picture,
this guy's holding a folded up American flag, the singer.
[MUSIC - BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, "THE BODY OF A DAUGHTER"]
(SINGING) Can you see the body of a daughter delighted?
He's got kind of like a little chin goatee.
(SINGING) So proudly we hail.
At the twilight's last gleaming.
All the NASCAR drivers are like befuddled expressions.
They're all wearing Oakleys.
(SINGING) Whose broad stripes and bright stars--
OK, get the tom beat going.
Yeah, the drums come in.
(SINGING) --ever on our minds.
Oh, the ramparts we watched--
Watched.
(SINGING) --were so gallantly streaming.
Here we go.
Taking some liberty.
(SINGING) And the rockets' red glare.
[LAUGHS]
(SINGING) The bombs bursting in air.
Also, the mix.
I guess they're setting off fireworks.
It's like drums and vocals.
(SINGING) --the bombs bursting in air.
Who saved the Satchel?
And the dudes in the band are rocking out so hard.
Yeah.
(SINGING) --the game winner.
There's like some military dudes saluting.
I wonder what's going through their head.
Oh, wait, hold on.
We've got to--
[LAUGHS]
(SINGING) --the land.
Land.
That's pure Creed.
(SINGING) --the free.
Creed would do this better.
That's the funny part.
(SINGING) --in the heart.
This is almost a little like Tenacious D, too.
Oh, totally.
(SINGING) --the free.
Good lord.
For the land.
I also just love the fact that these guys just
like changing the melody, changing all this stuff.
Just imagine if it was like a liberal band got up there
and did this.
Oh, my god.
Fox News headline just like, disgusting travesty.
Jeff Tweedy and Wilco disparaging
our national anthem.
Bunch of libtards think they can just add some grind
cord of the national anthem.
For the land.
Oh, like if it was a liberal band that
had that exact aesthetic, that'd be amazing.
It was like a high school band.
So Tenacious D. I just want to point out for people
that in this video, that insane music you just heard
is being performed in front of like legitimately
maybe like 500,000 people.
It's a giant event.
Everybody has to keep a straight face just like, yeah.
They also do originals.
Yeah, I found the--
I sent you one called Right to Bear.
Yeah, we should listen a little bit to Right to Bear.
This is brutal.
So here's Madison Rising with Right to Bear.
Opens with a 911 call.
Late one night as I came home and saw the front all broken in.
I grabbed my piece and went inside
to see who the hell's within.
This song's from 2012, not 1996.
Face to face, my gun to beat the night.
But man, you should have seen him run when I cocked that .45.
It's really like a candle box beat cut.
Yeah, little Alice in Chains.
We won't let it happen again.
It's one of my rights as a free man
to protect my home when I need it.
Hold on.
I just want to point out with those lyrics,
in case people weren't catching the lyrics,
this is the opening verse.
Late one night as I came home and saw the front door broken
in, I grabbed my piece and went inside--
This is like a Charles Bronson movie.
--to see who lurks within.
That's so Tenacious D.
I love this aesthetic.
Tenacious D does the exact same thing.
Although, I don't think they would write a straight song
about pro-gun.
I think it's that same type of goofy,
trying to sound like classic rock or cool '90s rock.
So I just love this.
Late one night as I came home and saw the front door broken
in, I grabbed my piece and went inside
to see who lurks within.
So it's like that-- even just to change the lyrics
into that kind of stilted, old-fashioned--
It's like Zeppelin.
--it's so Zeppelin to be like--
Lurks within.
--to see who lurks within.
It's so Tenacious D. It's just to suddenly out of nowhere
have a line just to make it rhyme,
where you're just talking like normal American speech.
To see who lurks within.
It's so high school.
There we stood face to face, my gun, the thief, and I.
Also, to say, and I.
The gun, the thief, and I.
Man, you should have seen him run.
When I cocked that .45.
God.
And then the-- disarmed our rights will disappear.
We won't let it happen here.
This is the chorus.
[MUSIC - THE CURB, "I DEMAND MY RIGHTS"]
(SINGING) Because one of my rights
has a free man to protect my home when I need it.
I demand my right to bear.
Oh.
I demand my right to bear.
Pause.
Arms.
This is insane.
The funny thing is, this came out in 2012.
It only has about 300,000 views.
So I feel like--
You know what?
It's a niche band.
Even the right wingers, you know,
whatever side of the political spectrum you're on,
it's just like left wingers, like, you know,
you like when you know that an artist has
some shared morality with you.
But if they play too hard, you know,
even like liberal Bernie bros like us,
if Pearl Jam came out with a new song that was like,
we got to support socialism.
Medicare for all.
His name was Bernie Sanders.
We'd just be like, this sucks.
So even I'm sure there's some right wingers who
love Alice in Chains and Zeppelin.
They're like, OK, you know what?
A little on the nose, guys.
Yeah, like, I do support the right to bear arms.
But I don't need this.
And also, like, this story, like, they're like,
it's a story about killing someone in your house.
And it has like the emotional palette of like a hard rock
song, like a strip club.
Yeah.
Like, it has none of the like resonance
that it really should, given like how gnarly the subject
matter is.
Well, I guess to be fair to Madison Rising, in this story,
he's not actually killing the thief.
Oh, he's just chasing them off?
I know.
This is also just like the perfect right wing version
of how gun rights go.
Right.
If you come home, the door is broken in.
Perfect scenario.
Also, he grabbed his piece, went inside
to see who lurks within.
He sees the thief.
He's face to face with him.
Cocks that .45.
The coward ran away.
It's like a Dirty Harry movie.
Yeah, and then he called the locksmith, fixed the lock,
slept soundly.
That's that.
.45 under the pillow.
I just like want to like a version that's like,
and then I cocked my .45.
He shot me in the arm.
I thought that I'd die.
He beat the shit out of me.
Like the gun jammed.
Random fire from my piece went into the neighbor's house,
killing my elderly neighbor.
It's a small price to pay.
I couldn't let that thief get away.
Yeah, like perfect story, man.
All right, well, check out Madison Rising or don't.
America's, I'm going to say, least patriotic rock band.
You want to check out a patriotic rock band,
check out Bruce.
You know what?
Honestly, even Led Zeppelin's more patriotic.
I'm going to make a true patriotic playlist.
Oh, I love that.
Yeah.
Jake making a--
OK, I love that.
I want to see Jake's takes on what it really
means to be an American rock fan.
Because the right wingers, because rock apparently is dead,
the liberals don't care about rock anymore.
Because, you know, we don't turn up to rock anymore.
That's true.
It'll be interesting to see what the most recent song
on the patriotic playlist will be.
Right.
It probably won't be--
The Shear Mag.
OK, actually, yeah.
Do they have any patriotic songs?
Oh, yeah, no.
Yeah, yeah.
Their politics are super engaged with kind of lefty engagement.
Yeah, yeah.
The Shear Mag.
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
[MUSIC - THE SHEAR MAG, "THE SHEAR MAG"]
Well, that was quite a whirlwind, Jake.
Good lord.
Guy's high energy.
You gotta be.
I like how he was just like, what is this?
I don't like it.
I don't get it.
Do you think he really didn't know who Jerry Garcia is?
I guess for an English person, it's possible.
He seemed like ride or die boy band stuff and like Queen,
like maybe like a theater kid.
Oh, well, yeah.
He comes from like a musical theater.
OK, yeah.
So that makes sense.
He's like Queen and like some sort of shaggy kind
of like loose classic rock stuff.
It's just like not his aesthetic.
Right.
James Corden was starting boy bands, belting show tunes.
He was like an Into the Woods and stuff, doing theater.
Yeah, Queen is way more appealing and probably
like maybe a couple of burnout.
Also, he's like a professional showbiz guy.
Right, like the Grateful Dead or not.
He's a triple threat too, by the way.
Dancing?
What?
Singing, dancing, acting and hosting.
Does he act and stuff?
He was in those Into the Woods movie.
He's been like on Broadway and stuff.
I guess it's very possible that like the dead really
didn't tour the UK very much after the 70s.
I don't know.
Is that true?
I mean, yeah, obviously 72.
I mean, I feel like...
I don't know.
Every American high school, at least through the 90s,
would have had some kind of kid who like was into the dead.
Right.
Maybe not anymore, but you know, James is in his 30s,
I think.
So like if he was American, he'd at least know who Jerry Garcia was.
Yeah.
But it's possible you go to the average like 30-something
English guy and you're just like, "Name one member of the Grateful
Dead," and they'll just be like, "You might as well be asking
about Quicksilver Messenger Service."
Right.
Also clearly didn't know who Boz Gaggs was.
Who's the drummer in Moby Grape?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we don't know that.
No, I don't know.
So let's talk about Boz Gaggs a little bit.
Shout out to Jonathan from California.
Great email.
Great email.
Great reading of it by James Corden.
I mean, I'm kind of a fake fan.
I only know his two big hits.
Jake, you're the 70s tasteful palate guy.
What does Boz Gaggs mean to you?
I have to admit, it's sort of a blind spot.
I know Lido Shuffle.
Yeah, that's one of the big hits.
Which is a great song.
It has kind of like a Billy Joel vibe a little bit.
Yeah.
I like that song.
I mean, he's one of those names that I've heard like bandied
about for years, and then I would sort of like maybe do a
cursory check in with him.
And yeah, this is like a good, yeah, this song does have a bit
of a Billy Joel vibe.
This is tight.
I wish our emailer Jonathan had explained more what about it
appealed to him so much.
I'm down with this, but it doesn't like hit me as like
incredibly original or unique to Boz, but this is a good song.
Yeah.
I don't know my Boz.
Next time, shout out to Leo, put the mic down and let him roll.
He said, one more job ought to get it.
One last shot before we quit it.
One for the road.
I mean, this should have been on the Humpty Humpty list.
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Staying in the day before the night.
He's worth a shot.
Staying in the face.
We are the order.
This would be cool on a Home Depot ad too.
Yeah.
Come on down to Home Depot this weekend.
Yeah.
20% off on all blah, blah, blah.
And get your deck looking right for Labor Day.
Actually, this is more like some local.
Yeah, it's humble.
Order.
Come down to Boz Skaggs' House Depot.
He's running, having great big fun.
Take out the note.
He's a good song.
I wonder where he was based out of.
So he was Steve Miller's guitar player when Steve Miller was like a Bay Area psych band.
Yeah, I feel like he's a Sam Fran guy.
That sounds cool.
Same album.
All right, this is a good album.
Silk Degrees, 1976.
I mean, this is kind of lame on my part, but I think one of the reasons I don't know Boz Skaggs is that he wasn't on classic rock radio rotation when I was a kid.
He's a little funky too.
Yeah.
He might have been too funky for East Coast rock radio.
Right, right.
He's very form, you know, classical.
I wonder if he's on like the bridge now or something, you know, like on Sirius.
Yeah, maybe a little.
I just don't encounter his music very often.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
I didn't know any of his hits until like later in life.
It's a good reminder that history is written by the victors.
Right.
Because just like, you know, living in America, we're told a very specific story of American history.
We're taught certain lessons about, you know, who was good, who was bad, why our country did certain things.
And we're getting this very hyper specific version of it.
Trump won and he's great.
Yeah, in 50 years, who knows?
People's images get cleaned up or whatever.
That's the way it works.
You got to really dig sometimes.
But also with music history, if you grew up listening to like a certain radio station,
although even that's a played out concept for kids today.
If you just, if you grow up listening to your dad's classic Rock Labor Day playlist
and you hear the same 20 songs over and over again, for all you know,
Boz Skaggs was an insignificant artist.
You might not know that his album went to number two on the Billboard charts
because maybe your dad favored Aerosmith because your dad's from Boston.
So you're hearing Aerosmith and you're just like, well, Aerosmith is, I mean, they were a big band.
But I'm just saying like you have a very...
AC/DC, you know, yeah, Tom Petty, whatever.
Just like...
Well, yeah, it's kind of, even like with, I feel like until I spent, started spending more time in LA,
I just really didn't know that many like Tupac songs.
There's a lot of stuff they play on like on K Day, like the kind of throwback LA rap radio.
Yeah, yeah.
That you just never, you didn't hear that much on Hot 97 in New York.
Because obviously New York, it's skewed New York.
Yeah.
But anyway, some people describe Boss Gags as blue-eyed soul.
Okay.
I mean, I think of like Hall and Oates that way.
Yeah, well, I guess blue-eyed soul is a big genre.
It kind of refers to any white person trying to be soulful.
Right.
It is kind of, yeah, blue-eyed soul.
There's something like a little sinister about it.
Yeah, I wonder if they meant it that way.
Because yeah, in like the context of today, it seems a little bit like, eugh.
Well, blue-eyed makes you think of like Arian or something.
Right.
And obviously white people have all sorts of different eyes.
Eye colors.
I have brown eyes.
Yeah, I have hazel eyes.
Just a brown-eyed handsome man.
I guess blue eyes, even though you find that here and there, to people that connotes Caucasian.
Yeah.
Yeah, you couldn't call it brown-eyed soul.
Whatever.
I don't know.
Maybe this is not a politically correct phrase.
I don't know if people still use it that much.
Jonathan, your email is really going a long way on the show.
Just a deep Boss Gags fan email.
We're going to do the top five right now.
And today, in tribute to Boss Gags and the year that his album Silk Degrees peaked at number two on the Billboard 200,
we're going to compare the top five of 2017 with the top five of 1976.
Silk Degrees.
Our bicentennial year.
America celebrating 200.
We got Boss Gags hitting number two.
Number two on the album charts, but let's see.
It's time for the top five on iTunes.
We're going to start off with Boss Gags because his other big hit, Lowdown, was number five on the Billboard charts.
September '76, I Am In Utero.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
Jake is just kind of taking it all in.
Yep.
I'm soaking it up.
Just kind of getting ready to enter.
Making my entrance February '77.
Oh, this is Boss Gags?
This is also a very funky song.
Yeah.
So, Jake, you're--
Heavily sampled.
You're a fetus in your mother's womb.
You're just kind of starting to, like, hear through the flesh what's going on in America, and you're like,
"Man, I really like the tasteful palette of the music that's happening.
I hope this lasts forever."
She's in, like, the frozen food aisle at the Grand Union.
Yeah.
You're just kind of like, "Okay, man.
I like this tasteful palette.
If this is what life is going to be like for the next, you know, hundred years, that's cool with me, man.
I'll live a long, happy life."
Little did you know in four years, it would be 1980, and the tasteful palette of the '70s would be gone forever.
Yeah, this is cool.
Are those flutes?
I think so.
Jeff Porcaro on drums, legendary drummer who played with Michael Jackson, Toto.
Okay, Michael Jackson, you know, Toto.
That's a weird lateral move.
He was in Toto.
He and his brother founded Toto, the Porcaro bros.
Oh, okay.
And then the Recession dudes for...
I think he was just known as, like, one of the best drummers in L.A. in the '70s and '80s.
He's played on all sorts of stuff.
The number five song in 2017, Portugal the Man.
Do you know this band, Jake?
No.
I've read a piece on them.
They're the talk of the music industry right now.
This is the first time in a long time that, like, a "alternative song" has, like, broken into top 40.
Right.
And, wait, sorry, what's the band called?
Portugal the Man.
They're from where?
They're from Alaska.
Wow.
They're from the same town as Sarah Palin.
Wow.
How did they get their--I mean...
Can't you hear that lonesome Alaskan sound?
High, lonesome sound?
They're kind of shooting themselves in the foot with that name, and they're coming out of Alaska.
That's, like, steep odds.
Alaska the Man.
Should've just named the band Alaska.
Oh, wow, you know what's funny?
We were listening to this song the other day, and Rashida said this song sounds just like "Please, Mr. Postman."
Oh.
And now I'm looking at the info about this song, and they credited the people who wrote "Please, Mr. Postman."
Really?
You think there's more of that happening now with the Internet and people being more litigious?
Yeah, people are scared of getting sued.
And they're, like, they probably just wrote the song, and, like, "Please, Mr. Postman" is in their subconscious, like all of us.
And then someone later was like, "Dude, that sounds like 'Please, Mr. Postman.' It's the exact same chord progression."
Damn.
This is a good song.
Yeah.
I caught this on 1260 AM the other day.
You were just listening to this on AM radio?
Yeah, there's an oldie station I found in LA called 1260 AM, and it's all just 50s and 60s.
Wow.
That's my go-to, like, car radio station.
Oh, did they say that?
In his song?
1966?
Maybe they were very consciously shouting out "Please, Mr. Postman."
The number four song in 1976.
Remember, this is the height of disco.
Right.
KC and the Sunshine Band, "Shake, Shake, Shake."
You like disco, Jake?
Yeah, I'm down with it.
I mean, it's got the tasteful palette of the 1970s.
Yeah, I'm not throwing it on a lot, but I'm down with it.
You're not one of those rock dudes who thinks disco sucks, are you?
No, that'd be amazing.
Just like in 2017 being like, "I'm a Zeppelin guy. I can't stand disco."
Zeppelin, AC/DC, just real straightforward stuff.
You listen back to this stuff and it's like rock, disco, it's all the same palette, you know?
Yeah.
This is hilarious.
"Shake, Shake, Shake."
The full title is "Shake, Shake, Shake" in parentheses, then "Shake Your Booty."
So to say it out loud, the full title is "Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake Your Booty."
And this holds the record for being the only song that ever hit number one
with a title that has a word repeated more than three times in it.
They say "shake" four times.
Cool.
Someone look that up.
I mean, what song can you think of that has a word four times in the title?
Yeah, I know.
I'm going to take them at their word.
It was number four this week, but I guess it hit number one eventually.
The number four song in our era, 2017, "Imagine Dragons."
I know you love, Jake, seeing some rock back on the charts.
Yeah, we got "Portugal the Man," we got "Imagine Dragons."
Would you call this rock?
No.
I wouldn't call it rock.
Wait, what's that?
That's "Lord."
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's got the same groove.
That's a tight song.
Yeah, this is kind of like--
That might have been the basis for this.
I'm not suggesting a lawsuit.
This is the song we're going to have to find the basis.
He's kind of rapping.
"Imagination Dragons."
The number three song in 1976 is another disco song.
Wow.
Yeah, this is like--I think that 1976 is the year that "Saturday Night Fever" came out.
You know, big year.
So do you remember this one, "A Fifth of Beethoven" by Walter Murphy?
I don't know.
Or are you familiar with Beethoven's Fifth Symphony?
Is that--
Yeah, exactly.
Nobody was trying to listen to that in 1976, so they didn't.
Arguably, you could call this a remix.
Oh, I'm so bored.
What is this classical bullsh--?
It's 1976.
It's Saturday night.
We're at the club.
Give me--okay, what's that?
Okay, whoa, whoa.
All right.
Class--oh, I love this song.
Did your parents have the "Saturday Night Fever" soundtrack?
No, no.
They were checked out by then?
Yeah, yeah, they checked out in '71.
My dad had that, so I'd listen to that occasionally.
See, this also brings to mind ELO.
Yeah, the big strings.
And also this--I mean, I feel like ELO would, like, very consciously try to, like, riff on classical music.
Pretty cool that there's an instrumental song number three on the charts.
Wait, how long is this?
Three minutes, four seconds.
Ooh.
This part's tight.
Oh, this is my clav.
Ooh, get in there.
Oh, this is sick.
Yeah, this is great.
I'd be remiss not to point out--I'm sure some people at home remember--Robin Thicke, before "Blurred Lines," sampled this song.
Oh, no, is this Beethoven?
This is so boring.
Oh.
Is this that song?
Improved by vocals?
What do you say?
I don't mind it.
It's got that tasteful '70s ballad.
It's kind of funny.
It's really awkward, but I like it.
Robin's grandmother was like, "I really like that one with the Beethoven."
Yeah.
All right, not bad.
I haven't thought about that song in a minute.
The number three song on iTunes in 2017 is Cardi B, "Bodak Yellow."
You know this one, Jake?
No.
So I should also point out, this song, I think, is about to go to number one on the charts.
How do you know?
Because people have been talking about it, because if this song goes to number one on the charts,
it'll be the first time a female rapper went to number one with no features since Lauryn Hill.
So it's almost 20 years past without a female rapper having just a solo number one.
So no big other rapper coming in and doing a verse.
Right, because who knows?
Maybe Nicki Minaj had a number, a single, but there was a feature or something.
Right.
So this would be really big if this goes to number one on Billboard.
What was the Lauryn Hill song 20 years ago?
I don't know, maybe Dua, that thing, probably went to number one.
Do you know who Cardi B is?
No.
She's from the Bronx.
She became globally famous for being on a reality show.
Really? What one?
I think Love & Hip Hop.
These bloody shoes.
Haunting.
So kind of the main thing that people remember from the song, or like the most quoted line, is the opening line,
which I think comes back where she's talking about her shoes and she goes,
"These expensive, these are red bottoms. These bloody shoes."
So Christian Louboutin, or how do people say Louboutin?
Don't ask me.
Are you not familiar with those?
No.
You've never heard of Christian Louboutin?
No.
What's like a fancy woman's shoe designer?
I'm like James Corden over here. I don't know who Jerry Garcia is.
Wait, you don't know any famous women's shoes designers?
Have you ever heard of Jimmy?
I don't know.
It's a fancy shoes, Jimmy.
Give me a hint.
Last name starts with CH. Jimmy Choo?
Yeah, okay. Does that sound like a name to you?
No, I've never heard of Jimmy Choo.
Really?
No, I don't know. I mean, I don't follow fashion or women's shoes.
Do you know what Balenciaga is? Does that sound like something?
Yves Saint Laurent? Laurent?
It depends how French you want to be.
Christian...
Foden-Venzel.
Christian de... Christian de... Forget about the Christian.
Dior.
Dior. You've heard of Dior.
You know, I read the New Yorker or whatever.
I've seen fashion ads pass over my eyes for decades.
The bottom of Christian Louboutin's shoes are red.
And they're very expensive.
Okay, so Christian Louboutin, Michelle was just telling me, it's patented.
So you see red on the bottom of those shoes, it's not going to be Jimmy Choo's.
So now let's listen to the beginning of the song again.
What? So like the concept of a red-soled shoe?
Or what is it exactly that they have the patent on?
I'd be curious what the actual language of the patent is.
Because what if like Reebok was like, here's a new basketball shoe.
Maybe it's something about a specific type of red sole on a woman's...
Fancy shoe.
Stiletto?
If the shoe is retailing for more than $500, you cannot...
Or maybe it's a specific color.
Oh, like a very specific shoe of red?
Yeah, so now we have this new information, so listen to this.
Okay.
So she's talking about an expensive pair of shoes.
So she's saying, don't mess with me, I'm wearing very expensive shoes.
Yeah, but she's kind of turning it around too, because she's not just saying...
Well, it starts out, little b****.
Little b****, you don't f*** with me.
You couldn't f*** with me if you wanted to.
I paid $700 for these shoes.
Maybe more.
Maybe she got even, she's probably super rich now.
I paid $950 for these shoes.
I paid $1250, let's say $1250.
I paid $1250 for these shoes.
So she's saying, so not only is she saying like I'm richer than you,
you're not even at my level fashion-wise, but I like that.
It's cool, she says, rather than saying Christian Louboutin, like that'd be so basic,
she says, these are red bottoms.
These are bloody shoes.
It is weirdly haunting.
[singing]
Jake and Cardi B just run into each other.
Little b****.
She just sees Jake.
Jake's like, honestly, I don't know s*** about shoes.
Little b****, you can't f*** with me if you wanted to.
Clearly she is talking to somebody like you, she doesn't even know.
I'm wearing a $70 pair of New Balance.
You still wear New--
Wait, I thought you're not allowed to wear New Balance anymore.
Why? No, Trump stuff? No.
Yeah? That's BS.
Let's get Jake some Louboutins.
Little b****.
I'm driving a minivan with 240,000 miles on it.
I would love that.
Just Jake pulls up in a North Face, a chill-out ash gray t-shirt,
old-ass minivan, but then just steps out wearing $1,200 Louboutins.
Little b****, you can't f*** with me.
Just saying that to everyone I encounter.
Little b****.
It's like at Trader Joe's checkout.
Yeah.
Okay, sir.
Those are a nice pair of New Balance.
Little b****, you can't f*** with me.
These expensive-- these is gray bottoms, these New Balance shoes.
These are comfortable.
These are sensible.
Gray bottoms.
These are running shoes.
Little b****, you can't f*** with me.
If you wanted to, these are sensible gray bottoms.
Dirty running shoes.
Okay, back to 1976.
Number two song.
I feel like we've had this on the show before.
England Dan Seals.
Who?
And John Ford Coley.
I'd Really Love to See You Tonight.
It's like a power ballad.
Oh, I like it.
You know this song.
Oh, yeah.
This might have spurned like a Rite Aid based fantasy.
Oh, this is such like a CVS Rite Aid type song.
Just like 11 p.m.
Rolling in empty.
What child you guys got the Alka-Seltzer in?
This is a tight song, though.
1 a.m. at CVS, just like paper towel wrapped around your bloody hand.
You guys sold those like a butterfly band-aids.
Or like some gauze.
Sliced up my hand real bad.
Sir, I think you should go to the emergency room.
I'm cool. I'm cool.
Just point me to the first aid section.
Just like dripping blood through the CVS.
Sir, I really think you need medical--
I just got rubbing alcohol.
Some hydrogen peroxide.
And then also stop me getting like a pint of Ben and Jerry's.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
Yeah, let me get one of Ben and Jerry Garcia.
You get a pack of smokes too while you're at it.
Just like handing like a bloody 20 to the person.
Crumpled up.
Sir.
It's like the like character from No Country for Old Men.
Oh, yeah, just like rolling in.
The Javier Bardem character.
That'd be amazing if like this was in that movie.
It'd be perfect.
Back to 2017.
Oh, Taylor Swift still on the charts.
Look what you made me do.
Have you thought about this song much since the last episode, Jake?
No.
Is this the one where she critiques his stage setup?
Yeah, I don't like your tilted stage.
I don't like your minimalist stage setup.
Yeah, just compare that to Cardi B, which is a better like--
I don't like your little games.
Don't like your tilted stage.
The role you made me play.
The fool.
No, I don't like you.
Look, this is not my favorite Taylor Swift song,
but I just wanted to point out like look,
just in terms of opening lines of 2017,
just think about what they can note.
Taylor Swift is kind of like--
she has a lot of modes.
This is kind of a new mode for her,
so maybe she hasn't fully found her voice in this mode yet.
This is what she says when she wants to do a kind of like
"F--- you" song.
You know what it is?
This is like Ice Queen, just kind of like up in the castle
looking down on the peasants.
Right, right.
I don't--
Your Majesty, what should we do about the--
I don't like your little games.
Don't like your tilted stage.
I told you those taxes were too much
for the poor, impoverished Farsi.
No, I don't like you.
No, I don't like you.
I don't like your--
It's crazy that no one around here was like,
"Uh, I want you to kill the little girl."
It's just like so like--
yeah, it's like Disney villain style.
I'm picturing like Angelina Jolie in that--
In the Snow White movie or Cinderella?
Like--
Maleficent.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Maleficent.
Yeah, that's like Disney villain,
and then Cardi B is actually somebody
who's got some real emotion behind it.
Like that was literally like Disney villain style,
just like, "I don't like you.
I don't like you."
So it's like-- that's like her saying to Cardi B,
"I don't like your little games."
I don't like the aesthetic of your stage.
I don't like your tilted stage.
Oh, yeah?
Little b----.
If you wanted to.
These expensive, these red bottoms,
these bloody shoes.
She's the Disney villain in the towers, like...
"Your Majesty,
Cardi B has acquired
a pair of Christian Louboutins.
We must stop her.
Oh, dear."
♪ I don't like your little games ♪
Anyway, shout-out to strong emotions
in the opening lines of 2017 pop music.
Also, I think I said it last time,
it's so self-defeating.
She's like, "You made me react to you."
Right.
Like, it would be so much stronger
if she just didn't write a song about Kanye
and was just like, "Yeah, that guy's an a--------------------------."
Right.
It's like--
Well, again, that's what we said last time.
It's like so, like--
You lost.
Either just ignore it and say,
"You know what, man?
This is all miscommunication, whatever."
And let's also keep in mind this entire beef started
about whether her video was actually better
than Beyonce's "Single Ladies."
So she could, like, maybe look back on that
and kind of have a laugh and be like,
"Okay, my video wasn't better than 'Single Ladies.'"
I think when you're making kind of like a dis-Angry record,
either you got to be above it all.
That's kind of just like--
Yeah.
You know what?
Who cares?
Life goes on.
We're all just trying to live our lives.
You know?
I'm Taylor, you're Kanye.
We're just human beings.
Either you take that route--
I got a rash.
Or you got to go in for the kill.
♪ Lil' b---, you can't f---------------- with me ♪
♪ If you wanted to ♪
♪ These expensive, these red bottoms ♪
♪ These bloody shoes ♪
I don't think Taylor Swift and Cardi B have any beef,
but I just, like, love the idea that these songs
are in dialogue.
Amazing.
Maleficent.
She has acquired the--
Oh, you know what?
It literally is, like, the shoes.
Shoes are very important in, um--
Oh, yeah, it is like Snow White, dude.
Yeah, shoes are very important in mythology,
or even, like, more modern Wizard of Oz.
Just like the queen, like--
Right.
Oh, my God, wow.
Those are also red shoes.
Taylor Swift is, like, the witch,
and Cardi B is Dorothy,
and she's, like, wants to kill her,
but she has these bloody shoes.
Or then, literally, Snow White--
Or Cinderella's the blood in the shoe.
They should collaborate.
Yeah, I would like that,
a Taylor Swift and Cardi B mixtape.
Or, like, a video, like an epic--
Yeah.
--expensive-looking music video.
Or a whole Disney movie.
See, that would be great for Taylor.
If she's coming off as too self-serious,
and everyone's--
Right, but--
You know, have a little humor about yourself.
Oh, my God, you know what--
And be the wicked witch.
We should do--
'Cause, you know, you had the Wizard of Oz
is from the '40s or something.
Yeah.
Then, in the late '70s, you had The Wiz.
You ever see that?
No.
Oh, The Wiz is crazy.
Okay, okay.
It's Michael Jackson, Diana Ross is Dorothy.
Oh, okay.
Quincy Jones did the music.
It's really cool.
Gotcha.
So, we're about due for another reimagining of it.
Right.
So, I think we should do, like, a pop music one
where Cardi B is Dorothy,
and she has red-bottomed Louboutins
that are the slippers.
Who's the Tin Man?
It would be, like, a good Tin Man from modern--
Wait, what's the Tin Man?
That's the guy--
Oh, Ed Sheeran can be the lion,
the Cardi B lion, maybe.
Yeah, yeah.
The Tin Man doesn't have a heart, right?
Tin Man doesn't have a heart,
but he's kind of, like, a sweet guy.
I don't know.
Who could be the Tin Man?
Shawn Mendes?
I don't know.
I'm just really--
Or, like, Tom York.
Okay.
Okay, I was thinking a little more from the pop sphere.
Go broad.
Yeah, sure.
Well, he's, like, you know.
No, he loves to have a laugh about himself.
He'd be down.
Yeah, he's perfect for that.
Or maybe Bruno is in there somewhere.
Oh, Bruno would be great.
Yeah, Bruno could be the scarecrow.
So, you have Tom, York, and Bruno.
Oh!
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ I got a condo in Manhattan ♪
♪ Baby girl, what's happening? ♪
And Ed Sheeran as the three.
Yeah, Cardi B as Dorothy.
Taylor is--
As the Wicked Witch of the West.
As the Wicked Witch.
Although, we'll change the ending
so that it's a little more happily ever after.
Because the witch gets crushed by a house, right?
No, she gets melted by water or something.
Oh, yeah.
No, we'll make a happier ending.
The end of our version will be that, actually,
Taylor and Cardi meet, and they become friends,
and they're like, "You know what?
"There's enough Louboutins for everybody."
Right.
"We're both rich.
"What do we care?"
And then the wizard--
Zane Lowe is the wizard.
Just, like, they hear the wizard, they're like,
"Why does the wizard have a New Zealand accent?"
And they pull up behind him, just like Zane,
dropping, like, sound effects.
[air horn blaring]
[laughing]
That's the Beats 1 Wizard of Oz.
Lot of potential.
Number one song this week in 1976.
Jake, I know this is one of your favorite songs.
As soon as you hear that opening riff--
Oh!
Yeah!
♪ Hey, do it now ♪
Brutal.
♪ Hey, do it ♪
You know, we must have done '76, like--
Yeah, we've heard this song before.
At some point, like, maybe a year ago.
♪ Sing, yeah ♪
♪ Playing in a rock 'n' roll band ♪
♪ I never had no problems, yeah ♪
♪ Burning down the one-night stands ♪
♪ And everything around me ♪
This song was released by the Cleveland-based
Sweet City record label.
That's cool, came out of Cleveland-based label.
I love that.
♪ Started quickly ♪
♪ Yes, I did ♪
Yes, I did.
♪ To disco down and check out the show ♪
♪ Yeah, they were dancing and singing ♪
♪ And moving to the moving ♪
♪ And just when it hit ♪
Rough stuff.
♪ Somebody turned around and shouted ♪
♪ Play that funky music, white boy ♪
Is this Blue Eyed Soul?
♪ Play that funky music ♪
Blue Eyed Funk.
♪ Play that funky music, white boy ♪
Or are they white?
Uh...
♪ Lady, I'm a blue man ♪
Yeah, this is a Caucasian band.
Okay.
♪ And that funky music ♪
They're called Wild-- what?
Wild Cherry.
Oh, wow.
I mean, it's kind of funky.
I do think there's something like--
How did I not know that?
Wild Cherry?
♪ Well, I tried to understand this ♪
♪ And I thought that they were dancing ♪
One issue I always have with this song is, like,
"And they were moving-- moving to the grooving."
That just always seemed like a weak line to me.
♪ And they were dancing and dancing ♪
♪ And moving to the grooving ♪
It's like, grooving is moving.
Yeah.
You don't move to the--
I guess he's saying--
You could say "moving" and "grooving."
You're moving to the grooving of the band.
Uh, it's-- I don't like that line.
Pretty thin.
I mean...
Play that funky music, white boy.
I also feel like this is--
These guys are like a white funk band.
They made this story up.
Cleveland-based.
A Cleveland-based white funk band.
Well, actually, you know, we talk a lot of funk.
Great funk did come out of Ohio.
Real.
Ohio really is, like, a power player for, like, funk and disco.
But I wonder if the guys in Wild Cherry
actually were kind of part of, like, the larger funk scene.
These guys are all white.
Were they collaborating with black artists?
Or is this literally just a fantasy
that a bunch of white funk guys imagine?
Like, what's your dream, Wild Cherry?
I guess my dream would be that one day
we're just, like, killing it so hard
that some non-white people come to the club
and just see how funky we are and just say,
"Wow, these are some funky white boys.
Play that funky music, white boy."
It's like, did this happen?
This is just a fantasy.
Imagine if, like, Macklemore dropped a song
about, like, that he was, like, rapping at the club.
Oh, my God.
And then, like, Kendrick came in and said,
"You're really good at rapping, white boy."
And he's just, like, telling the whole story.
And you're like, "Can I get a fact check on that?
Did that--did that happen?"
Well, anyway.
Dropping sick verse, white boy.
♪ You're really good at rapping, white boy ♪
Number one song.
Kind of like 8 Mile.
Yeah, that's true.
Eminem.
Let's give Wild Cherry the benefit of the doubt.
They were in on the scene.
Somebody--yeah, maybe somebody said that to him.
It's possible.
Yeah.
Anyway, that was the number one song this week in 1976.
The number one song on iTunes this week, Post Malone.
Do you remember who Post Malone is?
I don't.
Despot was the first person to ever tell me about Post Malone,
like, years ago.
Uh-huh.
He's had a bunch of big hits the past couple years.
Interesting guy from Texas.
I mean, I've heard the name.
So he just put out a new song featuring 21 Savage
called "Rockstar."
Who's 21 Savage?
He's, like, a huge rapper right now.
Okay.
[singing]
He's dating Amber Rose.
I don't know who that is.
You don't know who Amber Rose is?
Nope.
Come on.
Who is that?
Is it an actress?
Uh--
You don't even know.
She's probably--no, I'm just saying,
I just don't want to discredit her as an actress
because maybe she has acted.
She's originally known as a model, an activist.
Oh, right wing.
A right wing activist.
No, she's, like--her main issue is about, like,
stopping, like, slut shaming and, like,
she organized a thing called "Slut Walk."
Okay.
That's kind of--basically just about, like, you know,
women can wear whatever they want without being harassed.
Very cool.
So this is Post Malone featuring 21 Savage, "Rockstar."
Savage is tough because I just--
I can't help but think about Savage Garden.
I think--
Like, is that not--maybe that's unfair of me.
Most 21 Savage fans do not have that problem.
Imagine we had 21 Savage on the show and Jake is like,
"So when you came up with that name,
"you said you wanted to be Savage Garden
"and it's very large for you."
How'd you deal with that?
How'd you get past that?
Was it hard when you first came on the scene,
people would hear Savage, they're thinking, "It's Savage Garden."
♪ With me, with me, call up on the ♪
♪ And show up in them, the shot ties ♪
♪ When my homies pull up on your block ♪
♪ They make that thing go ♪
Wait, so Post Malone--
is that a reference to Karl Malone?
Yes.
Because he was the Postman or whatever?
Is that what his nickname was?
No, well, I guess it's kind of deeper, but it's--
Post Malone's real name is Austin Richard Post.
Okay.
Well, he's clearly a basketball fan
because his first song was called "White Iverson."
Remember that?
Oh, yeah.
♪ On the table, lick a pawn, don't give a damn ♪
♪ Don't joke over and here's a groupie ♪
♪ She just trying to get in ♪
Whoa.
♪ Saying I'm with the band ♪
This is cool.
♪ Aye, aye, now she acting out of pocket ♪
♪ Trying to grab up on my pants ♪
♪ On it, bun it, then my trailer ♪
♪ Said I ain't got a man ♪
♪ And they all brought a friend ♪
♪ Yeah, aye ♪
This song's called "Rockstar,"
and no guitar, I guess Eric Clapton's right.
Although Post Malone does play guitar.
He's done some songs where he plays acoustic.
♪ Always be smoking like a rockstar ♪
♪ With me, with me, call up on the [bleep] ♪
♪ And show up in them Deschartes ♪
♪ When my homies pull up on your block ♪
♪ They make that tango, rat-tat-tat-tat ♪
♪ I been in the hills, superstars ♪
♪ Feeling like a pop star ♪
♪ Drinking Henny, bad ♪
♪ Jumping in the pool and I ain't got on no bra ♪
♪ Hit her front or back, pulling on the tracks ♪
♪ And now she screaming out, "No, ma" ♪
♪ They like, "Savage, why you got a 12-car garage ♪
♪ And you only got six cars?" ♪
♪ I ain't with the cake and how you kiss that ♪
♪ Your wifey say I'm looking like a whole snack ♪
♪ Green Hunnids in my safe, I got old racks ♪
♪ L.A. [bleep] always asking where the [bleep] at ♪
♪ Living like a rockstar, smash out on a cop car ♪
♪ Sweeter than a Pop-Tart, you know you are not hard ♪
♪ I done made the high chart, remember I used to chop hard ♪
♪ Living like a rockstar, I'm living like a rockstar ♪
♪ I been, I been, I been popping, popping ♪
♪ Man, I feel just like a rockstar ♪
♪ All my brothers got that gas ♪
♪ And they always be smoking like a rockstar ♪
♪ When we, when we call up on the [bleep] ♪
♪ And show up, name them the shot-tos ♪
♪ When my homies pull up on your block ♪
♪ They make that thing go "Grrra-ta-ta-ta" ♪
♪ Grrra-ta-ta-ta ♪
♪ Rockstar ♪
♪ Rockstar ♪
♪ Rockstar ♪
♪ Just like a ♪
♪ Rockstar ♪
♪ Rockstar ♪
- All right, that was the top five.
There were some good songs in both.
This is like a decent haul.
This is a healthy haul. - Healthy haul.
So Taylor, I remember last week, had two in the top five.
- Yeah, the other one did not stick around in the top five on iTunes.
- Was the other one that was based on the Right Said Fred one?
Or was that-- - No, this is the one that's based on the Right Said Fred.
- Really? - Okay, well, really quick, this is the part.
♪ Oh, look what you made me do ♪
♪ Look what you made me do ♪
♪ Look what you just made me do ♪
♪ Look what you just made me ♪
♪ Oh, look what you made me do ♪
♪ Look what you made me do ♪
- You should have had to clear that, come on.
- Give me a break. - It's like--
- ♪ Text me for my shirt ♪
♪ Look sexy ♪ - That's ridiculous.
- Yeah, okay. - So she's lawyered up.
- Maybe she--yeah, I guess Taylor Swift,
one of the biggest artists in the world, people are gonna come for you, but come on.
- That's pushing it. - And I guess also,
if you're Right Said Fred and you're not gonna turn it down, but--
- Yeah, there's like phone rings, "Hello?"
- Here's the thing, if I-- - Yeah, this is Taylor Swift's lawyer.
- If I remotely knew somebody, and say there's a Vampire Weekend song
that had, like, a rhythm, and they played me that,
I'd be like, "Ugh."
I guess if it was, like, some pop star, I didn't know them,
but I'd be like, "Come on." - Yeah.
- "Well, whatever. It's good for breaking up."
- I mean, do you think that her lawyer's calling Right Said Fred
and he's just like, "Here's some free money."
- Yeah. - And they're just like, "Okay."
- Mm-hmm. - Cool.
[laughter]
- Well, that was a hell of a show, Jake.
Covered a lot of ground. - Yeah, man.
- It was a fun little James Corden drop-in.
Congratulations on your nuptials.
- They were great.
- We think.
- Yeah. - When you say--
nuptials means you got married.
Has anybody congratulated you on your nuptials
before you got married?
Has the word "nuptials" come up much?
- Nuptials not come up.
Not doing a prenup.
- No prenup? - No prenup.
- Well, just remember, if she-- - Whoo!
- If she get one of your kids, you're on the hook for 18 years.
[laughter]
- Show just took a...
unexpectedly emotional turn. - 18 years.
Wow.
- Oh, no, nuptial did not come up.
- But nuptial-- - As a term.
I don't like that. It's not a good word.
- It's a funny word. - Yeah. It's kind of gross.
- Is there a singular of nuptials?
- Nuptial? - In a marriage,
the two parties each have one nuptial.
And when they come together to be a unit...
- It's a pair of nuptials. - They get a pair of nuptials.
When the child is born,
at random, the child receives one of the nuptials,
giving them one nuptial to take in life
until they find their partner.
[sniffles]
And that's our show, everybody.
We'll see you in two weeks.
- "Time Crisis" with Ezra King.
Be-be-be-be-be-beats...
One.
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