Episode 64: It Wasn’t Baio
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Transcript
Time Crisis, back once again. On this episode we'll be joined by Chris Bale to
explain to us the phenomenon known as Shaggy Sting or Sting Shaggy. We'll also
read some spicy listener emails and dig in to an incredible top five featuring
music of 1972 and today this is Time Crisis with Ezra King.
Be Spoken. One.
They passed me by, all of those great romances.
The war I felt, robbing me of my rightful chances.
My picture clear, everything seemed so easy.
And so I dealt to the blow, when a bus had to go.
Now it's different, I want you to know.
One of us is crying, one of us is lying.
We were only there.
Time Crisis back at it again. What's up Jake? Hey, how are you? Not bad.
I enjoyed the past week of rainy gloomy weather in LA. I found it very refreshing.
Yeah, I love it. There was a snowstorm in New York though, I was jealous of that.
Really? Jealous? Yeah man, you're from the East Coast too.
You never just dream about a snowy day? I don't romanticize that at all.
I was talking about that with some people the other day, some California people who were like,
"Yeah, if you ever went back you would be like, 'Oh my God, how did I do this?'"
I even remember growing up and being in middle school and there'd be some kids who'd be like,
"Oh my God, I hate winter. Can't wait till my family goes on a cruise in the Bahamas."
Right. And I would just always be like, "I mean, it is what it is, man."
Of course, spring is a beautiful season, April, the flowers bloom and shit,
but I just never related to that visceral hatred of winter. Did you hate it?
No. As a kid, I was into it. And then I lived on the West Coast pretty much my entire adult life,
except for two years in New York, 2010 and 2011. I remember those years.
And I moved from Oakland, California to New York. And I remember thinking to myself,
"I don't remember winter being this traumatic when I was a kid."
Well, I guess in New York you're out on the street more. You get those wind tunnels.
Oh, the wind tunnels. I think I just got ruined living in California for so many years.
I just don't pine for it.
Who knows? Maybe one day you'll be back there.
Oh, I'll visit.
Connecticut.
Oh, to live? That would be weird. Not happening.
I don't know anyone in Connecticut anymore. My parents don't live there anymore.
My high school friends that I'm still in touch with, all three of them don't live in CT.
Really?
Apparently my town was super Trumped out.
Oh, really?
Even though Connecticut is super blue.
Your town was Trump country?
My town was always kind of Republican.
Do you think Lonnie's dad voted for Trump?
Oh, hell, big time.
Trump's going to make them have McRibs year round.
For lower level TC heads, Lonnie's dad was the dad of Lonnie, a childhood friend of Jake,
who had two fridges and one of them was exclusively dedicated to McRibs because he wanted to enjoy McRibs year round.
So he would scoop up a lot of McRibs, freeze them.
He needed that access 24/7, 65.
Yeah.
Wait, do they have McRibs year round?
No, I think it's a thing that-
It's still a special thing?
You know, I don't think it's even every year.
Really?
I want to say every like, don't quote me on this, but I feel like it's every couple years.
It's like the McRib is back.
You know, it's like it's been gone for 18 months or it's been gone for two years.
The McRib is back.
We got a lot of good emails after our show about where we talked about people who had two fridges.
I think one person said we actually had three fridges.
Right.
People were just kind of updating us, just letting us know.
We live in a very divided country.
Some people barely struggle to have one fridge.
Then the millionaires and the billionaires got two, three, four, five fridges.
We'll make a living, darling, down the road
'Cause I got you holding on to see where it goes
So don't you feel lonely?
I want you to know I can take you there
I want to drive around
With you with the windows down
And we can ride all night
Jake and I saw a rock show last week.
That's right, man. Fun time.
We saw Jack White at the Mine Theater. He just released an album.
Friday. It's out now.
So we went. It was a proper rock show.
I wanted to tell you, after we said our goodbyes, and I got an Uber to go home,
the dude picked me up. He was a chill dude.
23-year-old male from San Bernardino.
Strong.
He's about to move to Houston.
He just got right into it.
Wow, man.
He's like, "You from LA?"
I was like, "Oh, no. Yeah, I'm from San Bernardino, man.
I'm about to move to Houston, though.
It's real cheap out there. I'm going to buy a house."
I was like, "All right. That sounds like a plan."
And then he started talking music, and he's like,
"So what were you doing downtown?"
I said, "I was going to a concert."
"What was the concert?" "Jack White."
The way he set this up was so weird.
I was just thrown for a loop. "Oh, Jack White."
He's driving all the time.
He goes, "Oh, man. I did a remix for Jack White."
I'm like, "Yeah?" He's like, "Well, not officially for him,
but I mess around with music, and I did kind of a cover remix of one of his songs.
You know his song, 'Seven Nation Army'?"
Never heard it.
I was like, "Yeah, man."
He closed the show with it, and he's like, "Oh, I bet he did.
That's a big one."
He's like, "Well, anyway, yeah, I did kind of a cover remix."
"Hold on a second. I'll play it for you."
Literally, this is verbatim. "Hold on a second. I'll play it for you."
I'm sitting in the back. He's driving on the highway,
and I'm waiting for him to pick up his phone to play me the remix.
Then he totally throws me for a loop.
I got to just pop home for a sec, get the CDR.
Pop it in the--
It wasn't quite that crazy, but he goes, "Hold on. Just give me a second.
I'm going to play it for you."
He kept using the word "play it for you."
I was like, "All right." He's like, "Okay. You ready?"
At this time, he had his hands on the wheel the whole time.
I didn't see him touch his phone.
He goes, "All right."
[beatboxing]
He does this minute-long beatbox version that had a dubstep breakdown.
We're on the highway, so it's really noisy.
I could just hear--
[beatboxing]
Was he smiling, or was he just stone-faced?
He was kind of stone-faced.
He was a cool guy. I liked him, but I was just so thrown for a loop,
because he didn't say, "Oh, you know, I beatbox."
He truly said to me, "I did a remix for Jack White."
Well, really, it's a cover remix.
I was like, "Okay. I can't wait to hear this."
Then--
[beatboxing]
Then there was this dubstep part where it's like--
[beatboxing]
He did it for about a minute, and then he just kind of ended up--
[beatboxing]
He's just still driving.
I was like, "That's cool."
Then he got a tiny bit funny about it.
He was like, "Yeah, I don't know.
"You were talking about Jack White, so I wanted to play it for you."
He kept using this language.
Play it.
He kept using the language of a recording, which confused me.
I was like, "No, that's cool. You're actually really good, man."
He's like, "Oh, thanks. Yeah, you just saw Jack White,
"and I had this thing."
I was like, "Yeah."
Then a real deep silence descended on the car
for the last 20 minutes of the drive.
Yeah, kind of.
Oh, man.
No, I mean, then he was a chatty dude, so he--
Do you think he knew who you were? Your band?
He 100% did not know who I was,
because when I got in the car, he said, "Ezra?"
I said, "Yeah."
He goes, "That's a great name, man."
I was like, "Thanks."
He goes, "You know the show Pretty Little Liars?"
Which is a TV show or was a TV show.
I was like, "Yeah, I've heard about it,"
because one of the main characters is named Ezra.
He's like, "Oh, yeah, there's a character Ezra Fitz.
"Yeah, I like that show."
He goes, "I never met Ezra in real life, though.
"I didn't even know if it was a real name or not."
I was like, "Oh, it's a real name."
He's like, "Cool."
You didn't know if it was a real name?
He was a cool guy.
Wow, man. That's hilarious, dude.
I was so impressed and confused by the beatboxing.
♪ I'm gonna fight 'em all ♪
♪ I said the nation army couldn't hold me back ♪
♪ They're gonna rip it off ♪
♪ Taking their time right behind my back ♪
♪ And I'm talking to myself at night ♪
♪ Because I can't forget ♪
♪ Back and forth through my mind ♪
♪ Behind a cigarette ♪
♪ And a message coming from my eyes ♪
♪ Says leave it alone ♪
Time Crisis.
Dude, isn't it amazing?
I keep wanting to say "Seven Marry Three."
"Seven Nation Army."
Is that the name of the song?
Yes. "Seven Marry Three" was a '90s band.
Yeah, "Seven Nation Army."
Isn't it amazing how it's become an anthem of sports arenas?
Oh, yeah.
It's so unpredictable,
sort of what will organically take on that role.
Yeah, I mean, people look back--
You know what I mean? He's really been righted with that sort of intention.
I mean, yeah, it's not even on some "We Are The Champions."
The lyrics are bizarre.
♪ I'm going to Wichita ♪
♪ Sweat dripping out of every paw ♪
People also don't stop and think that "Seven Nation Army" is such a weird phrase.
What does that mean?
I guess it could be like World War II or something,
but "Seven Nation Army" also to me sounds like biblical.
You know what I mean?
Or like classical.
Yeah.
Like the Spartans were powerless against the Seven Nation Army.
It was Commandeer of the Seven Nations.
Alexander the Great united the Hittites, the Phoenicians, and the Spartans,
forming a Seven Nation Army that marched on the barbarians.
You know, something like that.
That song is cool.
Truly nothing to do with sports.
[imitates drumming]
But it really has replaced--
It's replaced "Rock and Roll Part II."
Gary Glitter?
What's the backstory on that?
Why that song?
What year is "Rock and Roll Part II"?
'74?
Early '70s.
Is this like a glam artist?
Yeah.
I remember just going to so many hockey games in Hartford,
Hartford Wheelers, growing up.
I was in this band in college called the Buff Guys,
and we'd open up all our shows with a cover.
Of this?
We opened up--no, a different cover every show.
One show we opened up with this.
[imitates drumming]
This song just kind of takes a long time to get to the sports part.
It's pretty limp.
I think they did other versions that were maybe the souped-up version.
It doesn't have the immediacy of--
[imitates drumming]
I think the backstory is that it was--
that became this unofficial chant at one team in Italy,
and then it was in a specific World Cup.
It kind of crossed over on the global stage.
The Gary Glitter or the White Stripes?
No, the White Stripes.
I hate this.
Out at Fenway Park, they play "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond every time.
Yeah, what's there to hate about that?
Here's what I hate about it.
They added this, "So good, so good."
They added their own Boston version.
It's like, "Sweet Caroline, good times never were so good.
So good, so good."
Oh, that's where that comes from?
Yeah, yeah, the crowd.
[crowd chanting "So good, so good"]
Also, sometimes when you sing it at karaoke,
just people at the karaoke place will do, "So good, so good."
I didn't know that that specifically came from Fenway Park.
Yeah, man.
But what's the connection to "Sweet Caroline" in Boston anyway?
Someone's listening to the show right now and being like--
screaming at their radio that they know.
Their radio.
Caroline O'Reilly?
Screaming at their laptop.
Was a well-known beer vendor at Fenway.
She worked there for 45 years.
Beloved by any true Red Sox fan.
I feel like it originated around the time that the Sox finally won a World Series.
Here we are, back to "Time Crisis" sports talk.
"Time Crisis" baseball.
Circa '03, they like--
That was the first time they won?
Well, first time since 1918.
I think it was around then.
'03, '04, they were down three games to none of the Yankees
and then won four in a row against the Yankees and then swept the series.
I feel like the "Sweet Caroline" thing started around then, but I could be wrong.
So good.
♪ Hand ♪
♪ Touching hand ♪
♪ Reaching out ♪
♪ Touching me ♪
♪ Touching you ♪
♪ Sweet Caroline ♪
♪ Your times never seemed so good ♪
♪ I've been inclined ♪
♪ To believe they're never over ♪
♪ Now ♪
Any other baseball news?
Well, spring training's getting started.
Oh, nice.
Do really big baseball fans go watch their favorite teams at spring training?
Oh, big time.
That's totally a thing.
Like if you're a hardcore Yankees fan, you and some of your buddies
just rip down Florida for a weekend--
Fort Lauderdale, dude.
--to watch?
Yeah.
You sit in the stands.
Yeah, because you can get really close to the players.
You're just sitting in bleachers.
And just watch them work out.
In fact, this guy Larry Mantle, who hosts Air Talk on KPCC
every weekday morning here in LA,
he was gone last week for four days.
I usually catch him in the morning in my car when I'm doing errands and stuff.
And I was like, "I wonder where Larry is these days."
And then he was back Friday of last week.
He was like, "I took my annual trip to Arizona every spring
to watch the Dodgers do spring training."
And what are you watching?
You're watching them run suicides?
No, no, they're doing scrimmage games.
You're just in the gym?
Yes, you're probably watching some dudes stretching and doing wind sprints and stuff.
If you pay extra, you can actually go in the gym and just watch the guy in the treadmill.
Watch them in the showers.
Oh, God.
Okay, so you're watching games, perhaps?
Yeah, yeah, scrimmage games.
You're just a baseball head.
Vampire Weekends and spring training, maybe.
Start some Vampire Weekends scrimmage shows?
The Black Diamond VIP package starts at $2,500 a head.
You're going to be in the locker room.
You get a front row seat to practice.
You're going to be drinking chamomile tea with the band before the show.
You are permitted one tequila shot post-show, although we will take your phone.
We will take your phone.
The phone will be locked.
That was another thing at the show last night.
Oh, you can eat chicken tenders.
At the show last week?
Yeah, at the show last week, the Jack White show, all the phones were locked.
Jack White says, "Lock up your phones."
Pretty dope move, I thought.
It's pretty intense for 1,500 people or whatever the capacity of the Mayan theater was.
To lock up their phones.
I'm with it.
I don't think I would ever do it at a Vampire Weekend show or ask people to do it.
It's not very in the ethos of Vampire.
It is in the ethos of Jack White, though.
If you're a Jack White fan, you're there to rock out.
I think people get stressed out, naturally, when their phone is locked up.
You could always go check in the lobby if you want to.
Also, every time I've been to some weird party or event or show where they made you lock up your phone,
after a few minutes, you look around, nobody's on their phone.
You do chill out a bit.
It's like 1997 again, man.
Yeah.
Good old days.
You just relax a little bit.
Nothing wrong with that.
Speaking of Jack White, again, I heard that there's a great interview with him.
Oh, coming up right after our show?
Yeah, he went on Lars Ulrich's show.
Every Sunday, you got Time Crisis.
12 to 2, West Coast time.
And then you have one hour chill out.
Palate cleanse.
Palate cleanser playlist show.
And then you got Lars Ulrich on the mic.
He's doing a tight hour interview with Jack White.
Interesting.
So, yeah, stick around one hour after Time Crisis.
You can listen to Lars and Jack chop it up.
So the mailbag has been overflowing since we started the 8-minute Cape Cod at gmail.com email list.
We got one from Emily Allen Worrell.
And I think we need to address this one.
Okay.
Because we got called out, Jake.
Did we?
A little bit.
Gently.
I like the email.
It's a great email.
Let's go to the Time Crisis mailbag.
Dearest TC crew, I want to start by saying my husband and I are huge TC heads, and we love the show.
I love TC couples.
Yeah, just like a couple snuggling up on the couch.
Yeah.
Sunday afternoon.
Working out in the yard.
Babe, come in.
TC time.
I got the Doritos ready.
Maybe when TC comes on, they just jump in the truck and just drive.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Sunday drive?
Sunday drive.
Okay.
But I've got a bone to pick.
Uh-oh.
You have often referenced the Sooner State, the great state of Oklahoma, but not always in the best light.
Now, I understand we are a quintessential flyover country, but we have a lot of great music history.
I thought it was funny when you referenced music that would be played in a Tulsa Marriott.
Astute obso.
But the assumption that Jason Aldean was from Broken Arrow made me think TC might need an oaky music history lesson.
Okay, well, first of all, we got nothing against the great state of Oklahoma.
Hell no.
I remember we guessed that maybe Jason Aldean was from Oklahoma, but that was just because he's a country musician.
Have you played there?
Oh, yeah.
Norman?
We played in Norman and Tulsa.
I've never been to Oklahoma.
Really?
I need to go.
You got to go, man.
Check it out.
I don't know how often we talk about Oklahoma, but--
I think it's like shorthand for like--
Random?
Random part of America, like Ohio or Oklahoma.
It's shorthand.
If you live there, it's not random.
That's right.
LA's random.
Connecticut's random.
CT is very random.
Actually, quick aside, I feel like Connecticut has the least amount of credibility in terms of reputation of any state in the union.
It's like Delaware, kind of.
Right, but Delaware at least has, going forward, its tiny size.
That's at least sort of interesting.
Right, like Rhode Island is more interesting than Connecticut because at least it's small.
And it has--
It's got a weirder name.
Yeah, and it has those weird like Gilded Age mansions that are there.
And Providence is a cool city, straight up.
Yeah, Connecticut has no cool cities.
It doesn't.
And like the reputation of Connecticut is that it's like rich, eye-banker, preppy weirdos.
Right.
Which is true of the southwest corner, Fairfield County.
Yeah, those are the people in Greenwich who commute into New York.
Yeah, Greenwich, Stanford.
New Canaan.
But the rest of the state is like really pretty similar to like Jersey, for instance.
Right.
It's the sort of suburbs, working class.
Jersey is, in the cultural imagination, so much sh*tter than Connecticut that actually it's an asset.
Right, right.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you got New York.
Because Jersey is not rando.
Jersey, like to some people, epitomizes like trashiness and like the "Joy-Z" accent and the, you know, the toxic waste.
Jersey short.
So at least Jersey has like character.
And then we also do have Gravitas, you know, with the Springsteen and Sopranos and stuff.
But there's not going to be Connecticut Sopranos.
No, there's not going to be a Connecticut Shore.
Yeah.
I mean, if there was, it would be like-
Even though there is beautiful coastline.
You know what I'm saying?
There's like the Jersey Shore, which is like the trashy representation of Jersey.
You're not going to have that for Connecticut.
It's not going to ring true, even though it's there.
Connecticut's a whatever state.
Oklahoma has more flavor than Connecticut.
Oh, big time.
I mean, it's the Oakeys.
Right.
It's the Dust Bowl.
Oklahoma has some real history.
Well, and anyway, I'm-
I'm just saying, Connecticut's the lamest state.
Well, actually, I think-
I feel embarrassed when I tell people I'm from CT.
Yeah.
I usually go, "Um, East Coast."
And you were born in CT, too.
Yeah.
I'm glad I'm from Jersey.
It's really legit, man.
Jersey's legit.
Imagine if your band was from CT.
Oh, yeah, it'd be a wrap.
It's tough to get off the ground if your band's from CT.
Yeah, nah.
Mayor got off the ground.
Mayor and Rivers Cuomo, but they're not out there repping it.
Where I come from isn't all that great
My automobile is a piece of crap
My fashion sense is a little wack
And my friends are just as greedy as me
I didn't go to bull in schools
Creepy girls never looked at me
Why should they?
I ain't nobody, got nothing in my pocket
Beverly Hills, that's where I want to be
Living in Beverly Hills
Beverly Hills, rolling like a sleigh
Beverly Hills, living in Beverly Hills
She says she thinks TC might need an Oki music history lesson.
Is "Oki" a derogatory term?
No.
Well, I think it was in, like, "Grapes of Wrath" day.
Oh, was it derogatory?
Oh, yeah, because they were coming to California
and getting, like, spin on.
Right, okay.
Okay, but I'm reading her.
So I want everybody from Oklahoma to know I'm reading her email.
Let's start with when you did the top artist from each state.
Oh, that was like an old episode.
That's a deep callback.
Shout out to Emily and her husband.
I think that was the 4th of July, 2016 episode.
Okay, they were in line. They really are huge TC heads.
Oklahoma's top artist is Garth Brooks, of course.
He's the best-selling solo albums artist in the U.S.
But when GB's music wasn't on Apple Music,
you played a Florida Georgia Line cover.
Now, I like FGL as much as the next TC head,
but there are so many Oklahoma artists that you could have used instead.
Wait, wait, I don't even remember this.
Was it Florida Georgia Line from Oklahoma?
No, we played--
Wait, she says that we played a Florida Georgia Line version
of a Garth Brooks song.
Oh, oh, okay.
But this is the best sentence ever.
Now, I like FGL as much as the next TC head.
But there are so many Oklahoma artists that you could have used instead.
So let's take a deep dive into Oklahoma's music history.
Our first stop is someone who has been a significant voice
in both music and politics, Woody Guthrie.
Straight up.
Straight up. And we know with Woody Guthrie,
there's no Bob Dylan, there's no Jack White.
There's no Bruce Springsteen.
So, so many of these classic artists,
their lineage traces right back to Oklahoma.
Born in Okemah, Guthrie wrote the timeless American tune
"This Land is Your Land."
Shout out to your duet with Bernie.
Woody Guthrie was a prominent voice for the working class,
and he famously played a guitar that said, "This machine kills fascists."
To learn more about this folk hero,
I highly recommend touring the Woody Guthrie Center in Tulsa.
I would love to do that.
Hell yeah. Next time we're in Tulsa, I'm hitting that up.
You can't mention Tulsa without talking about Bob Wills,
aka the King of Western Swing.
Oh, so he's from, I didn't know that. I thought he was from Texas.
Well, because he had his group, you know, as she says,
Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys.
But they rose to stardom in Tulsa,
where they broadcast a daily 45-minute live radio show
at Canes Ballroom, a historic music venue that still puts on sick shows.
That's tight.
There's a musical styling named after the green country capital
called Tulsa Sound,
which is a mixture of rockabilly country, rock and blues.
The kings of Tulsa Sound were Leon Russell and J.J. Cale.
I love J.J. Cale.
Yeah.
Songs written by Cale have been recorded and covered by many TC faves.
Eric Clapton, Jerry Garcia, Leonard Skinner, John Mayer, Fish.
I love J.J. Cale. He's a really slept on.
He has a studio, I think, in Tulsa in the early, mid '70s.
Really?
Yeah.
She goes on to list some emerging artists from Oklahoma,
the future--
What was--
Parker-- I don't think I can list all of them.
We could post them somewhere.
Parker Millsap, John Morland, Samantha Crane, John Fulbright,
Wink Bircham, among others.
And then Oklahoma is home to many prominent modern country artists.
Garth Brooks, Reba McIntyre, Blake Shelton, Toby Keith.
Oklahoma's really punching above its weight.
Does she live there?
Well, she says home to.
I don't know.
Can you imagine that, like a subdivision of McMansions
with all of the heavyweights of country live there?
So she says, "Outside of the country genre, we relay claim to artists
such as All-American Rejects, Color Me Bad, Hanson, The Gap Band."
Oh, The Gap Band. Wow.
"And a few indie darlings like St. Vincent and The Flaming Lips."
Oh, yeah, The Flaming Lips. Big Oklahoma.
"Not to mention the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, Oklahoma.
Lastly, where we live in Bardisville is where one of the largest
classical music festivals takes place, OK Mozart.
We even have a Frank Lloyd Wright skyscraper here."
What?
"Also, did you know that Sonic is headquartered in OKC?"
Just a little corporate food history tie-in.
It's time for Corporate Food History.
News to me.
"So if you're ever in Oklahoma, my husband Josh and I would love to show you all around.
Hopefully we can show you that Oklahoma's a state with a storied history
steeped in our Native American heritage, our socialist roots, and our red dirt spirit.
From the Tulsa race riots to the Dust Bowl to the OKC bombing,
we've faced our trials and tribulations.
But we know that we belong to the land, and the land we belong to is grand.
Labor, Omnia, Vincent, Emily."
Which I don't know if I'm pronouncing it right.
I believe that's a Latin phrase used by...
Can we get a number crunch on that?
"P.S. Everyone support the teacher strike in Oklahoma in April."
Oh, yeah, we've got teachers all over this great land,
including some pretty red states, going on strike.
Yep. Great email, Emily.
Thanks for setting us straight.
So the phrase that she used, "Labor, Omnia, Vincent,"
is a Latin phrase meaning "work conquers all."
And it's associated with the U.S. labor movement.
I mean, Oklahoma might even be like a top ten music state.
Really, when you get down to it.
Per capita?
Definitely per capita, but I'm just saying...
You know, in Connecticut, it might be bottom five.
Oh, easily. I think it's dead last.
It's garbage.
I agree.
You know, I mean, also just in terms of the sheer number
of major artists coming out of the state,
I think Oklahoma's top ten.
In terms of a small population producing important artists,
it's up there with, like, Jamaica, Ireland.
These are small places.
Minnesota.
Minnesota is punching above its weight.
I mean, obviously, there's, like, the California, New York, and Texas.
A lot of big artists come out of there.
And those are massive states.
Duh.
And she's also right that Oklahoma's faced a lot of trials and tribulations,
but it still produced a lot of great music.
Whereas pampered Connecticut, that southwestern corner,
all that big money...
Cranking out John Mayer, dude.
All right.
From now on, Time Crisis is a pro-Oklahoma show
and an anti-Connecticut show.
Not going to have any argument from me on this one.
They call me the breeze
I keep blowing and blow
They call me the breeze
I keep blowing and blow
I ain't got me nobody
I ain't got me no love
Ain't no change in the world
Ain't no change in me
Ain't no change in the world
Ain't no change in me
I ain't hiding from nobody
Ain't nobody hiding from me
(instrumental break)
I got that green light, baby
I got the beat moving on
I got that green light, baby
I got the beat moving on
I'm a go out to California
I'm a go out to Georgia
(instrumental break)
Speaking of Connecticut, we're now joined in the studio by Chris Baio.
What's up? Are you from CT?
No. But you have spent significant amounts of time in CT.
Definitely thrown down in CT and it's a, I guess it's like a 15 minute drive from where I grew up.
Wait, where'd you grow up?
Westchester, town of Bronxville, New York.
That's basically CT.
Yeah, I mean arguably Westchester County and southwestern Connecticut are one mega area.
That's like Don Draper country.
When you grow up on that side of the border in New York State, are there any reasons why people are like,
"Oh, we gotta rip over to Connecticut. I'm not paying."
Like, do you go over there for gas or like Costco or anything like that?
Oh God, I honestly can't remember.
Do you ever go to shows in New Haven or like Toad's Place or anything?
I would go to some like hardcore shows in Danbury.
Yeah, Danbury?
Yeah, and I think I played in Danbury once when I was growing up.
Actually, okay, let's just like slow a roll a little bit on CT.
There's the famed CT HC scene.
Oh yeah.
All right, Connecticut hardcore.
That's like, maybe it's greatest musical legacy.
Who is it that counts?
I don't either.
Is Earth Crisis?
Do you know who's from CT also is Moby.
Oh yeah.
He came out of the CT HC scene.
He was a Connecticut hardcore dude.
Oh, not to name drop, but when I met Moby and I told him I was from Bronxville, he's like,
"Oh, love the architecture in Bronxville."
Really?
That's a cool name.
I was blown away.
I normally wouldn't share a story like that, but I was just-
Is he talking like-
Moby's really cool.
I thought when I met him, he's a cool guy.
I bet.
Is he talking about-
No, Moby, I know you're from Connecticut, but you're a cool guy, man.
I'll give you a pass on this one.
No, is he talking about the architecture on like the main drag or like the homes?
I didn't grill him.
I just took the compliment.
He might've just been referring to the stately homes.
You know, Moby is kind of into flipping houses in LA now.
Is he really?
I went to an open-
It's kind of cold.
It's kind of ruthless, right?
It's like some like-
Well, okay.
Maybe is flipping house derogatory?
Yeah.
So he's bought houses, renovated them, and then resold them for higher prices.
Sizable profits.
But yeah, I guess the flipping, maybe flipping implies that you did like a shitty renovation.
Yeah, flipping implies very quick.
Like you're putting in Home Depot cabinets, bad linoleum, and you're just like turning it around.
No, Moby's not hitting the depot.
But there was a house on the market in LA, and there was an open house, and I was in the neighborhood, so I went to check it out.
And I'm sure this is not him, but the selling agent, I think we've talked on Time Crisis before about the hilariously over-the-top language of real estate listings.
Yeah.
And this one said, "The opening line from the creative force known as Moby comes," you know, whatever.
The address, 2119 Briarcliff Lane.
It was like some shit like that.
Oh my God.
And then it was, you know, a nice old 1920s LA house that had been renovated tastefully.
And then when you walked in in the living room, the selling agents were there, and they were like bumping a little Moby on the speaker.
Wow.
Nice.
So I wonder what's in it for him.
I mean, sure, he's making some money, but it must be like a fun kind of--
He clearly has an interest in architecture, as I can verify from the conversation I had with him.
There you go.
It's an outlet for his expression.
I totally get it.
Yeah.
It's like you're Moby, you're sitting on all that--
Play money.
All that play money.
It's another way to invest your money that's arguably more creative.
I love it.
I'd love to see his houses.
I'll let you know the next time one's on the market, we can hit up an open house from the creative force known as Moby.
But the funny thing about it too is like, you know, he has very specific hallmarks of his music, you know?
Yeah.
Like Moby music has had a sound or various sounds over the ages.
Then you go to the house and it's not like-- it's just like a nice house.
It's an old house that's tastefully redone.
Yeah, you'd really have to rack your brain to be like-- if you were like assigned an essay, what--
The aesthetic continuity.
Yeah, what are the aesthetic continuity between Moby play and 2145 Briarcliff Road?
In my dreams I'm dying all the time
Then I wake, it's kaleidoscopic mind
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to lie
So this is goodbye
This is goodbye
Anyway, Chris, thanks for coming in today.
Good to be back.
Actually, I brought $2 because I-- last time I was here a year and a half ago, I borrowed $2 from Jake to tip the valet guy.
I just remembered it.
What the hell?
Wow.
What? How did you remember that, man?
I'll take this.
Because I was coming back, you know?
I'll take the money.
Last time I was here a year and a half ago, that was the last thing I did here.
Wow.
Borrowed $2 from Jake.
Thanks, man.
Yeah.
Look at that. The cosmic balance has been restored.
Put that in my wallet.
So I haven't followed this story very closely.
I was kind of introduced to this story actually via your Instagram, which, you know, sometimes in the social media age, you come upon something
and you're first introduced to a meme or a story or a campaign and you realize you already missed half of it
because people are already talking about it and you're seeing the meta commentary about it.
But what I'm talking about is Sting and Shaggy.
Yes.
And for people who don't know, Shaggy is a dancehall artist.
Probably his biggest hit in America was "It Wasn't Me" featuring Rick Rock.
You remember that song, Jake?
I don't think I do.
Mr. Bombastic?
If I heard it, I'd probably--
Oh, yeah. What about Mr. Bombastic in the '90s?
The titles are not resonating, but if I heard the song, I'd probably--
Definitely.
You don't remember--
♪ And then I had her on the counter ♪
♪ It wasn't me ♪
♪ Dun-na-na-na-na-na-na ♪
♪ It wasn't me ♪
♪ She even had me on camera ♪
Oh, yeah. Sure. Got you.
That's Shaggy?
Yeah.
Is he British?
No.
I think he's Jamaican-American.
Yeah. New York and Jamaica. He grew up between the two.
So he's teaming up with Sting?
Somehow in my head, Shaggy was DJ Shadow.
Wait, what?
Wait, what do you--
I don't know.
What?
Because both names start with "sh,"
and I don't know who either of them are.
Okay.
And I was like, DJ Shadow's like a British DJ, right?
DJ Shadow's from, like, Davis, California.
Okay, I don't know anything. Forget it.
What is this Shaggy and Sting thing?
Basically, last fall, I got really back into Sting.
I was listening a ton to Synchronicity and Ten Summoners Tales,
just, like, cranking them nonstop,
probably from, like, mid-October to the end of the year.
Then I also have an annual Christmas party called Peckmas
in the neighborhood I live in called Peckham.
And there are two parts of the party.
One, we get together with friends and sing holiday classics,
and then the second part later in the evening is the dance party.
And the playlist is usually, like, mid-'90s to early-2000s rap and R&B hits.
And Shaggy actually features very prominently on that playlist.
I also ended up having an emergency New Year's Eve party,
and I didn't have time to prepare a new playlist,
so I recycled the one from the party I had thrown a couple weeks ago.
So, again, I was just listening a ton to Shaggy and Sting.
And then I saw--I just, you know, booted up Twitter one day
and saw that Sting and Shaggy had made an entire collaborative album.
This was, like, beginning of January, and that it was coming out on 4/20.
And already it just really appealed to me.
[laughter]
Is it branded as, like, a weed thing?
Well, no.
So, for my perspective, I see this album,
two artists that I love are dropping a record on 4/20.
And then I saw they played an event around Super Bowl Sunday,
you know, just that weekend in Minnesota.
And I saw a photo of the two of them with Guy Fieri.
And at that moment, I was just, like, blown away.
It seemed like this whole album was tailor-made to go as viral as possible
for as long as possible.
So I'd already been thinking about the record
and reading about it a bunch for, like, three weeks.
And also, just from my perspective,
is that when people, like, make fun of Sting, like, solo Sting or late period Sting,
it's because they describe him as being, like, self-serious,
which is not how I feel about Sting.
But it's like they think of him as being this very serious guy
who's into, like, tantric sex and plays the lute.
He's not known for his, you know, wacky, meme-esque sense of humor.
Yeah, not at all.
But so I saw all these things, and I really liked the first single,
which is called "Don't Make Me Wait."
And so I just started doing a deep dive on press that they were doing.
I mean, I know they played a bunch at the Grammys,
but they're just doing so much press in so many interviews.
And I was truly blown away by their chemistry in terms of doing interviews,
just cracking jokes.
It's the kind of thing you can't really fake.
And they seemed down for whatever.
They definitely subscribed to the "Yes, and" school of, like, improv comedy.
[laughter]
They're doing interviews all day, and they're killing every single one.
Wow.
So I sort of just started posting little bits of press they were doing
or interviews or little performances.
They, like, performed at a wine festival in Florence in Italy,
and there was a Daily Mail article that said,
"A grape friendship is brewing," which I really liked.
And I guess what ended up happening is my friend, McKee,
is friends with their publicist.
Wow.
And I think she enjoyed the Sting and Shaggy content
I was bringing to my Instagram stories.
So she told their publicist about this.
Then later I found out that our travel agent, Lisa,
is also friends with their publicist and also told them about these posts
I was making on Instagram about Sting and Shaggy.
So that's how a little buzz was created, hearing it from two different sources.
And word got back to the dynamic duo.
And then what they did was they taped a personalized message to me
thanking me for my support.
I'm pulling this up right now.
So this is where I entered this.
Straight up, I didn't even know these guys were making an album together.
Wait, I really have not had my ear to this tree.
You know, I heard some vague thing because I didn't watch the Grammys this year,
and I saw some vague reference to Sting and Shaggy performing together.
But the Grammys, as we know well, there's nothing they love more than a fun combo.
Yeah, totally.
And I figured maybe that's a one-off, so I didn't think twice about it.
And then I'm scrolling Instagram one day and I see this.
Hi, Chris.
What's up, Chris? This is Shaggy.
This is Sting.
And, you know, we know you've been posting about this collaboration.
We know you've been supporting us.
We just want to say thank you, bro.
And I'm saying big up to you and your band.
You know, it's been an amazing collaboration.
I can't wait for you to hit a record.
And we're going to have a vampire weekend this weekend.
[laughter]
Oh, my God.
Unbelievable.
Actually, I want to play some of the music.
Yeah, play it.
Because I haven't heard any of this.
Well, the record's out.
Well, no, no, just the singles.
Sorry.
So this is the single you were referencing before, "Don't Make Me Wait."
It's nice to hear Sting getting back to some, you know, Jamaican vibes.
Oh, yeah.
Are you feeling it, Jake?
I'm feeling it.
All right, nice.
I'm feeling it, man.
I'm feeling something.
Well, I'll say, this is like the most fun music Sting's been a part of in a while.
I feel like his last few records were like medieval Christmas albums and sh--.
Yeah, no, it's definitely fun.
I think it's really fun.
But so you said when you saw them with Guy Fieri that it seemed designed to go viral.
So by that, do you mean that you could tell that their attitude towards this project was--
not that the music is not serious, but that from the beginning of it,
they were having fun, not taking themselves too seriously?
Yeah.
Definitely.
Because I feel like you look at old footage of the police doing interviews and it's so tense
and everybody's so serious, and yeah, you feel like Sting wouldn't have been taking a picture
with Guy Fieri in the mid '80s, the equivalent.
No, it's like Sting hasn't been in a band for 30 years.
He probably hasn't done press with another person for Days on End in forever.
I can tell he really, really enjoys doing these interviews with Shaggy.
They are truly delightful.
Well, actually, since you're talking about so much, it makes me want to see them.
Is there one that we could go to maybe?
The thing is a lot of them kind of all start in the same place of how they started their collaboration,
and then the fun stuff comes later.
So I've probably watched three or four hours of interviews with these guys.
That was why when they sent that message, Micky emailed it to me,
and I thought I was going to have a heart attack because I had been watching these guys so much,
and all of a sudden they were talking at me.
It was pretty trippy.
But this one, I guess it's with the popular website Ladbible.
It's a little more like free association.
I thought this one was cool.
I posted a little segment from this, but I'll just play it.
You can't say it wasn't me, especially with the milk mustache.
[laughter]
Wasn't me.
But you got a milk mustache, bro.
[laughter]
Hi, I'm Sting.
And I'm Shaggy, and we are here to give you some life advice.
Shut up.
Sure.
Timing.
I need an epic icebreaker to ask the girl I fancy on a date.
Drew from London.
Oh, you must be tired because you've been running around my mind all day.
That's pretty good. Of course that's pretty good.
Did that work?
This is Lexi from Bromley.
My girlfriend caught me red-handed creeping with the girl next door.
[laughter]
What should I do? She isn't answering my calls anymore.
It's sad.
[laughter]
It's tragic, actually.
Go around with some flowers. Maybe that will cost you money.
Wow.
I haven't seen the side of Sting in a long time.
Yeah, that's great.
Maybe just because the last time I can really picture Sting doing press
is watching a documentary about the police and him in the '80s.
It's also a reminder of how much the media landscape has changed.
Yeah, just like Sting doing a Ladbible interview,
kind of giving advice on, like, my flatmate is stealing from me or something.
Because when Sting came up, that was like the superstar era.
Like these kind of godlike people.
Whereas now, we want to see people just be real.
I saw today that they booked the Queen's 92nd birthday party
the day after their album drops on April 21st.
Right, right, yeah, we heard about that.
So they will be performing for the Queen.
Yeah, I think so.
For the whole royal family. Actually, we have an article about it.
Are there other bands on the bill, or is it just them?
Yeah, but for her 92nd birthday, Queen Elizabeth II will receive Sting and Shaggy.
The duo are among performers slated for Her Majesty's Birthday concert
at London's Royal Albert Hall on April 21st,
a day after they released their joint album 44/876.
Is that like in area codes?
Country code.
England, Jamaica.
Oh, wow. Yeah, they're not alone.
They're also going to have Kylie Minogue, Craig David, Tom Jones,
and Lady Smith Black Mambazo.
I'm also just curious about what does this mean, the Queen's 92nd birthday?
Did they actually consult the Queen and say,
"Are there any records you're psyched for this year?"
She's like, "I heard about that Sting-Shaggy collab."
She must be.
# You fall over when the atmosphere is less than perfect
# Your sensibilities are shaken by the slightest deepest
# You live your life like a canary in a coal mine
# You get so dizzy even walking in a straight line
# You say you want to spend the winter in Forenza
# You're so afraid to catch a dose of influenza
# You live your life like a canary in a coal mine
# You get so dizzy even walking in a straight line
# Canary in a coal mine
# Canary in a coal mine
# Time Crisis with Ezra Koenig
So, actually, I'm glad that you're here for this one, Chris,
because Cynthia Nixon is running for governor in New York.
Oh, yeah.
Are you a Sex and the City head? An SATC head?
Yeah, definitely. I've seen every episode on both movies.
The second movie is truly a challenging watch.
Hit Abomination?
It's a challenging watch.
That's the one where they're in the Middle East?
Yeah, and it has an aged walk.
I saw that one.
You saw that one? Yeah.
Yeah, on a plane.
Oh, I remember that, actually.
This is so stupid.
When I got deferred from Columbia, when I applied there,
I was, like, really dark in a really bad place.
Damn.
And then the way I got out of my sad place was by binging on Sex and the City.
Whoa. So you were, like, a senior in high school.
That got you out of a sad place?
Absolutely. I love that.
I mean, it's a really good show.
Yeah, and my mom had bought the DVDs, so they were in the basement.
Oh, this is before the streaming era.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
So I've tried these DVDs out, and I really enjoyed it.
Jake, have you ever seen SATC?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, really? Are you an SATC head?
No, not a head.
But you respect it?
Yeah.
Do you know the names of the four characters?
Samantha.
[laughs]
Wait, is that the Carrie?
No, no, no. Carrie?
Yeah.
Wait, is that the Carrie?
Yeah.
Wait, wait, wait.
You're good. You can keep going.
Carrie.
There was a woman named, like, Margaret?
Miranda.
Red letter.
And then there was the woman with the brown hair, who was, like, kind of the least interesting character.
Debatable.
I don't remember her.
Uh, wait.
The actress is--
Phoebe? No.
[laughs]
Charlotte.
Played wonderfully by Kristen Davis, in my opinion.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm not bagging on the actress.
I just assumed that character--
[laughs]
I think you were bagging on the actress.
I feel like the writing really fell short for that.
But here's the thing.
I'm not ahead.
I don't know the full arc.
Well, Baio, in the fan community, is Charlotte considered to be the boring one?
I think, arguably, the four characters all had such strong arcs that different people could identify with different ones.
Okay.
Wow.
They're like the Beatles.
Definitely.
Everybody got a favorite.
But Charlotte is like the Ringo.
[laughs]
Damn.
He got his knighthood in the end.
[laughs]
Well, so, for all the TC news heads who get their news from Time Crisis, like a week or two ago,
it was announced that the actress Cynthia Nixon, who played Miranda Hobbes on Sex and the City,
which is her best-known role, certainly not her only role, is running for governor.
In the fan community, what's Cynthia Nixon's deal?
And I'm sure it gets confusing because people can't sometimes combine the person and the characters a lot.
Yeah, I hesitate to speak for the fan community because I feel like my interactions with it are very much kind of in a bubble.
I didn't necessarily read message boards and stuff.
I'm not active in the fan community.
I have a very kind of personal relationship with the show.
But as that article you have says, I think she's been very politically active for a long time.
Right.
This article says Cynthia Nixon isn't new to politics because I'll admit I had the reaction a lot of people had, like,
"Oh, another celebrity politician.
Don't we need to kind of…"
No, but I think she's done her time.
Well, her campaign treasurer is Zephyr Teachout.
I've always wondered if that's how you pronounce that name, Zephyr Teachout or T-shoe.
It's a cool name.
A progressive working families party candidate who challenged Cuomo in the 2014 Democratic primary.
So she's got, you know, some real political people on her team.
That's nice, actually.
I would always vote working families when I voted in local elections.
Yeah, they're like, if somebody's got the Democrats and the working families behind them, reason to hope that they're a little more to the left.
So Cynthia Nixon's a lifelong resident of New York.
She grew up in Manhattan, attended public schools, and sent her children to public schools.
Okay.
Not a lot of big-name celebs send their kids to public schools in New York.
I'm not trying to throw under the bus, but did Sarah Jessica Parker send her kids to public school?
Doubt it.
Maybe she did.
I don't know.
The only question that I have is, why do you start at governor?
Isn't that like a high level to start at, or is that exactly what we need?
You know, because she's no stranger to politics, but this would be her first time seeking office.
Maybe because she already has the name recognition, you know?
Yeah, maybe it's not about like—
It's like, if you're not a famous person, you have to start running for city council and chip your way up.
Right.
If you're already famous, it's like—
I think she's also being strategically intelligent because there's a—I think Governor Cuomo has a lot of vulnerabilities in terms of the MTA.
She's a New York City resident riding the subway every day.
She can sort of channel the frustrations people have that, you know, Cuomo maybe doesn't experience being up in Albany.
Right, but New York's a big-ass state.
You got a lot of the population down in the city, but, you know, Cynthia Nixon, you know, she better pack a fleece.
A fleece.
When she's getting up there to Buffalo.
Thermos of hot coffee.
Syracuse.
Schenectady.
It's the Wild West up there.
Does she have a shot?
I haven't seen any polls.
Uh-huh.
My gut tells me she has a shot.
But Cuomo's not popular.
And so, I'm asking—
No, I think she has a shot.
I don't know anything about—
People are talking about her as if she has a shot.
But it would be like New York City liberals getting behind her.
She'd be running to the left of Cuomo, definitely.
But, yeah, if you're a primary voter in upstate New York, maybe you're really liberal, but maybe you're more centrist or something.
I don't know.
Exactly.
She's going to have to jump in the car, drive six and a half hours up there, and really put in the work.
But maybe she can.
Also, New York is famously run by political machines.
The Democratic Party, the Republican Party of New York are tough to infiltrate.
So, she would have whatever work could offer, but why not?
Can I ask, without President Donald Trump, is there a Governor Cynthia Nixon?
Did he normalize the celebrity as politician?
Well, there was already Governor Jesse Ventura.
True.
The Governator as well?
Yeah, the Governator.
It's a good question, Seinfeld.
I've got a question for you, Seinfeld.
All right.
Have you ever done a Sex and the City meets Seinfeld meme?
They're both four main cast members in New York.
The shows, they both are associated with the 90s, albeit different parts of the 90s.
Have you seen the Sarah Jessica, the Carrie behind her laptop thing?
And I wondered, I think I jumped on one of those a couple of years ago.
I can't remember what the joke was.
It probably had to do with Seinfeld being on television or whatever.
That's probably the extent of it.
That would be cool if they, I mean, these are all different companies,
but you know how Marvel's done such a great job of building the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Yeah.
You heard about this, Jake?
If I see what the MCU was, would you?
I'd struggle with that.
Michigan Central University.
There probably are a bunch of different MCs,
but they've done a great job to the point that the forthcoming Avengers Infinity War film,
I think it might be the most expensive movie ever made.
Infinity War?
Yeah.
That's the worst sounding thing ever.
Hey, what's your problem with that?
This is a terrible combination of words.
I want nothing to do with Infinity War.
I'm with you.
Okay, but my point is that over the past 10, 15 years,
we didn't really have superhero movies of this nature back in the day.
And over the past 10, 15 years,
Marvel has built up the MCU to the point that this forthcoming Avengers Infinity War,
if you look at the poster, we got Black Panther, the Hulk, Jake's yawning.
He does not care about this.
We got freaking Thor.
Wait, but Hawkeye was left off, right?
Why?
I don't know.
Nobody knows why.
The Hawkeye heads are upset.
But it's all been building up to this moment because they've built out the MCU and people are excited.
And finally, there's going to be a huge movie where you're going to see Thor hanging out in Wakanda.
Apparently, you're not going to have a Hawkeye, but you're going to have—
What are the other big ones?
You're going to have—
What about the Punisher, man?
You're going to have the Punisher murdering Iron Man.
You know, that's really exciting for people.
So anyway—
I'm pumped.
Wouldn't it be cool if there was a New York cinematic universe and we do a New York Infinity War
and you got Jerry, Elaine, Craim—
I love this.
Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler—
No, no, no.
Samantha—
Paul Reiser.
You could write it.
Oh, okay.
Oh, nice.
I'm actually excited, but I'll propose this.
All right.
We do a time crisis, like Russian novels.
1200 pages fan fiction.
Wow.
And you can get your just desserts that are—
No, I'm misusing that phrase.
You can have your cake and eat it too because you can write out—
It's like Les Miserables, basically.
And towards the end, there's a huge battle.
And yeah, finally, Kramer and Chandler.
This is really what it would be if this was Avengers Infinity War.
In the trailer, it would just be Kramer and Chandler coming nose to nose,
facing each other in the ruins of the Empire State Building.
And just the fans are like, "Oh, that's going to be a sick fight."
You got George dating Monica.
I love this idea.
I earnestly love it, and I want Frasier to be in it.
I know he's a Seattle guy, but I want Frasier in the mix.
Well, he pops in for the weekend.
I guess in some ways, it's not even the New York Cinematic Universe.
It's really just the '90s TV Cinematic Universe.
Get Caroline and the City in there. Get Roseanne.
That could be a cool B story.
Is that George Costanza and Charlotte have to travel to Seattle
to convince Dr. Frasier Crane to come help in the Infinity War.
Frasier Crane, who was a beast in X-Men.
Wait, and you know that Kelsey Grammer sings the Frasier theme song?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just learned that.
We did an episode on it.
Oh, you did? Oh, sorry. I'm not up to date.
That's very embarrassing. I'm sorry I'm not up to date.
He missed episode 39 a year ago.
The tossed salad and scrambled eggs.
Yeah.
Tossed salad and scrambled eggs.
Based on the Joni Mitchell song.
Oh, right.
That closed out "Court and Spark."
Yeah, it had a weird connection to Joni Mitchell.
And actually, Frasier is part of the Cheers universe.
Oh, yeah. It all connects.
It's all an incestuous medley. It's a tossed salad.
My analyst told me that I was right out of my head
The way he described it, he said I'd be better dead than live
I didn't listen to his jive
I knew all along that he was all wrong
And I knew that he thought I was crazy but I'm not, oh no
My analyst told me that I was right out of my head
He said I'd need treatment, but I'm not that easily led
He said I was the type that was most inclined
Went out of his sight to be out of my mind
And he thought I was nuts, no more ifs, or ands, or buts
They say as a child I appeared a little bit wild
With all my crazy ideas
But I knew what was happening, I knew I was a genius
What's so strange when you know that you're a wizard at three
I knew that this was meant to be
Have you guys ever watched TGIF, the Family Matters?
Oh yeah, oh sure
Do you remember the-
Oh yeah, they do crossovers, right?
Yeah, step by step, Urkel
I think Urkel like transported into the step by step house
Did Perfect Strangers do a crossover with Family Matters?
Yes, because Carl Winslow from Family Matters was in Perfect Strangers
If I'm not mistaken
Right, right
And he's in Die Hard
And then didn't Lieutenant John McClane make an appearance on Family Matters?
That episode?
I don't think so
Oh no
But he dated Jennifer Aniston
Bruce Willis?
Oh yeah, that was weird
John McClane did?
John McClane dated Rachel, I think
I love that
You're right, Bruce Willis, I don't think it was John McClane
No, it was John McClane
It's all connected
It is all connected
Unbelievable
New York City Cop
90s TV Infinity War
Welcome to the party, pal
I love this
The 1400 page, two volume novel
It'll come like that Murakami novel in this beautiful box set with two gilded editions
You could throw in some obscure ones like The Single Guy, Jonathan Silverman
I remember that
Yeah, like Boston Public was at the show with the
Dude, you're going deep right now
Too deep, yeah
Maybe Paul Reiser and Jerry have a face off
That'd be dope
Actually, I think Kramer was in A Mad About You
And I remember being upset about it because I hated Mad About You
Oh, Mad About You had crossover with Friends because Lisa Kudrow was on both
That's right, the twin sister
This Infinity War is writing itself
That's crazy
Wait, wasn't there a Mad About You?
It was like right when Viagra came out and Paul Reiser took Viagra and then he had to leave the apartment
And then he ran into Jerry Seinfeld or something
Oh really?
He was like, "Oh, it's so good to meet you"
And then Jerry's like
And he's just sporting a huge
Oh really?
Yeah, I can see that
I might have the characters mixed up
It sounds right
It makes sense, just two comedians living uptown
I kind of feel like there was some animosity though between Reiser and Seinfeld
Because he jumped on that wave, right?
In real life?
I feel like Reiser just rode the coattails of Seinfeld and it was undeserved
Oh, well you're a mega fan
Our audience is just tuning out
But I have a real question
Are we legally allowed to write this book using these characters that are the properties of various
Mega entertainment corporations?
You'd have to pre-clear a lot of stuff
I think this is an IP clusterf*ck
A lot of red tape
Wait, but what about parody law?
Mmmmm
As I understand it, I think it has to be commentary on each of the shows
So if you say, "Hey, your dad's an IP lawyer, right?"
We'll get him on the case
Alright, so
Get him on the horn right now
You're just like, "Come on"
He's probably playing Y
Yeah, exactly
Dad, I really need to talk to you
Okay, dad, you're familiar with the upcoming Avengers film, Infinity War?
What if it was 90s TV shows?
Okay, if we have any
I feel like every once in a while we'll get an email from somebody who just happens to work in a field
And they're like deeply knowledgeable about something that we were talking about
So if we got anybody who works in IP law or anything like that
If you can advise us on how to write the 90s Infinity War
8-minute Cape Cod
I think we're gonna get shut down
Well, I just want to know because I don't want to put the time in if we're gonna get sued over it
We just get a season-desist letter from NBC
Pre-emptive
That's the next major time crisis project
We also still have to launch our baseball league
That's like the professional wrestling baseball league
Right
Not to mention the grape ice cream
Oh yeah
All of these ideas will never be touched on again
We have to
We need to do a time crisis
Crisis DC, come up with an idea and then never think about it again
No guys, I really mean it about this one
I'm very passionate
I'm serious guys
The fans want to see that Kramer, Chandler, Brawford
One of them is dying
Oh my god
Think about it, forget it
Come around and don't, don't, don't
If you just regret it
Don't bring the rest of 'em 'round, 'round, 'round
It is what it is
Until it was what it was
So just keep on swinging
If only because, 'cause, 'cause
I can tell by the look
You know me and what you say
Like a sentimental crook
It's tough to get away
If it even went better
I would play every part
But I'm too overeager
And I just fall astard
Oh sister of a pearl
I wouldn't change
Your father world
Oh sister of a pearl
I wouldn't change
Your father world
[Instrumental]
[Vocalizing]
Think about it, forget it
Come around and don't, don't, don't
If you think it was pathetic
Bring it back, back around, 'round, 'round
I'm tired of finding
In another man's pointless foe
So please keep up with it
Just like you had done before
[Instrumental]
I can tell by the look
You know me and what you say
Like a sentimental crook
It's tough to get away
If it even went better
I would play every part
But I'm too overeager
And I just fall astard
Oh sister of a pearl
I wouldn't change
Your father world
Oh sister of a pearl
I wouldn't change
Your father world
It's time for the top five
Five on iTunes
This week we're going to be comparing the top five songs on iTunes
to the top five Billboard hits of 1972
It's just a great year
Yeah
Europe '72
My buddy Kyle Field was born in '72
It's a major year
Huge year
Right off the jump, a classic
The number five song on the Billboard charts
this week in 1972
It's a Paul Simon classic
Oh, okay
Oh, I love this song
This is cool
It's one of the first, like, white reggae hits in America
And the whole backing band is like actual Jamaican reggae musicians
Is this track one on his first solo record?
It's definitely the first solo, yeah, maybe it is track one
Jimmy Cliff's band, that's who's playing on it
So do you know the famous story about the title?
No
So the song is called Mother and Child Reunion
So one would assume it's about the relationship between a mother and their child
reuniting after some bitterness or time apart
And actually it's named after a chicken and egg dish
that Paul Simon saw on a Chinese restaurant menu
Wow
Because often Chinese restaurants have kind of fun names
Right
Buddha's delight, things of that nature
And there's a dish that was chicken and egg
The mother and child
Cooked together for you to eat
Mother and child
That is like profoundly poetic
Yeah
For a Chinese menu
You never know
If somebody's working back in the kitchen somewhere
They could be a great poet
Maybe they just don't get a shot
Instead Paul Simon comes and takes that poetry and turns it into a hit
He steals Jimmy Cliff's band
He steals the title from the Chinese restaurant
What if there was some situation where like
The son or the daughter of the family who runs the Chinese restaurant
Was actually an aspiring songwriter
Right
And he was just like
Mom, dad, you know
I want to be a full time musician
You're crazy
We worked so hard to build this business
You need to take it over
And he's like but I think in poetic units
I want to write songs
I'm all about language
And they're like
Okay, you want to be a poet
You can be in charge of the menu
You like words so much
You can be in charge of the menu
He's like alright, maybe I will get creative
And he's like alright
Mom, what's in this dish?
And she's like
It's like we mix up some chicken and eggs
And he's like what do you call it?
She's like what do you mean?
It's just chicken and eggs
You know
And he's like I'm going to call it mother and child reunion
She's like okay, whatever
Whatever floats your boat
One day Paul Simon comes in
Nervously waiting in the back
I can't believe Paul Simon's in the restaurant
Doesn't get the nerve up to introduce himself
One year later
He's listening to the number of the top five songs
On the billboard charts
You can't copyright names
Yeah
Especially a title off a menu
[Laughs]
Yeah
I mean the truth is
It's pretty cool that he wrote this song
Based off
A dish
Off a menu
I wonder what the Jimmy Cliff dudes thought of this song
Yeah, that's a good question
They were like, why are you playing reggae?
Or they were like, great melodies
Yeah
Maybe a little of both
Paul, how did you come up with the title?
That's a funny story guys
Back home in New York
[Laughs]
There's a Chinese restaurant by my apartment
And I saw it on the menu
Okay
[Laughs]
That was a very tasteful palette type song
Yeah
The number five song right now on iTunes
Will it be in a similarly tasteful palette?
Let's find out
Probably not
Well
Define tasteful
It's Imagine Dragons with whatever it takes
Imagine Dragons is
Killing it
Can't avoid them
Falling too fast to prepare for this
Tripping in the world could be dangerous
Everybody's circling this vulture race
Negative, nepotist
Everybody waiting for the fall of pain
Everybody praying for the end of times
Everybody hoping they could be the one
I was born to run, I was born for this
Whip whip, run me like a race
Boys, pull me like a rift
This is rough
Not my favorite ID single
Whip whip
But to all the Imagine Dragons fans
Their Evolve Tour starts June 5th
Guess where?
LA
Hartford, Connecticut
Oh
At the outdoor amphitheater there?
I don't know, maybe at the
There's like a hockey arena
I'm not sure if that's still there
The Wailers left back in like '94
They didn't blow that s*** up?
They might have
The number four song back in '72
Donny Osmond, "Puppy Love"
I don't know if I know this
Song was written by Paul Anka
And they called it Puppy Love
Oh yeah, I know this song
I'm pretty into this
It's like Proto Bieber
Something, no?
So, Paul Anka's version
had already been a Billboard hit in 1960
Oh wow
So already in '72, this is him like covering
like an old corny song
Right
'Cause he was like the clean cut guy
And why I love her so
And they called it Puppy Love
Not everything from the '70s is tasteful
How old was Donny Osmond at this time?
Good question
Was he a teenager?
It's not, can I get a number crunch on that?
Let's crunch those numbers
March '72
But couldn't you almost kind of see like T-Rex covering this?
Yeah, because they had a kitschy side too
Yeah, and they had like funny strings
Right, but the drums would be like tougher
Yeah, and like the tones would be all like
All right
Just fuzzed out
He was 15
Oh, he was 15?
Yeah
Happy
Wild
Donny, oh wow
The number four song in our era
Oh look
Still Drake
Is this God's plan?
I went to a birthday party at a club a week or two ago
Yeah
And they played this song
What sort of club?
That place Los Globos in Silver Lake
Okay
Where they do different nights
Copy that
And it was a Saturday night, so it was like energy was high
And when they played this song
And he pulled the volume down for the famous line
The volume of people yelling it
The "I only love my bed and my mama"
It was unbelievable
Wow
It's like
That's tight
It's like a football chant, basically
God's plan
It's like Sweet Caroline
Yeah
Maybe that will be the next wave of
Arena
Yeah, I mean
Anthems
It's only right, it should be rap
Sure
Might go down in TOD
Baseball's starting soon
I wonder if any players are gonna walk up to the plate with God's plan
Oh, definitely
You know players like have their walk-up songs
Right, that'd make a lot of sense
This would be dope
Now batting
For the Texas Rangers playing third base
Ezra Kingham
It's out of the park
They should let you keep your music playing through your at-bat
Cause like it stops once you get there, right?
Yeah, you have to concentrate
No, you know what they should do though?
If you hit a home run
They should start the music as you're rounding the bases
Oh yeah, it comes back in
And then you're like hitting home plate
Pumping the chest
Pointing to the sky
It's God's plan
Like it was playing, then they turned it off
Then first pitch
Oh my God, it's out of here
And he just stands on the mound
And he's mouthing the words
"And my mama, I'm sorry"
And then he starts running
It's like blowing kisses
Big song
Sound like God legs
Number three song in 1972 on the Billboard charts
Was The Lion Sleeps Tonight, classic song
Sure, by the Weavers, originally
Well yeah, and then there was the Tokens at the big hit
Oh, okay, yeah, that's what I'm thinking of
When originally, originally it was, you know, written by Solomon Linda
I believe his name was this, that, that
There's a whole crazy thing about getting him as his publishing
But I didn't know that there was a hit version in 1972
It's by somebody named Robert John
That is the lamest artist name ever
Bob John
Hi, my name is Robert John
I'm doing a cover of The Lion Sleeps Tonight
He's like doing one of those radio little promos
"Hi, this is Robert John, you're listening to KTLU"
"With my new hit single, The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
Are there gonna be crazy strings on this?
Look man, I don't know what to expect
I mean, it's 1972 and you're just busting out The Lion Sleeps Tonight for your cover
And your name's Robert John
Robert John's either a very cool guy or a very lame guy
There's no in between
Oh, Bob John, he's actually one of the coolest guys I know
My guess is it's gonna be on some puppy love, like schlocky early 70s
Like heavy orchestration
Maybe we'll get lucky and it's like on some weird glam rock, like minimalism
You know, like a fuzz guitar
Some wah
Fah-wuz
I'm really excited to hear this
And it starts right now
So far so good
Definitely like a folk guy
Some tasteful hand drums
Hard to pan on the left with those bongos
Oh yeah, come on man
Hi, this is Robert John
You're listening to my new hit single, The Lion Sleeps Tonight
Yeah, it's like the Carpenters or like the Bay City Rollers or something
Ooh, I like that slide
This is the banger version
This reminds me of BJ Thomas
Like raindrops keep falling on my...
As far as like the...
Drum tones
The American versions, cause you know, the original like South African versions are sick too
But with the English language lyrics and stuff
This is the one that apparently Brian Wilson was driving in his convertible down PCH
Early Beach Boys days
He heard this come on the radio, he pulled over
He was just like "What?"
He was so overwhelmed by it
In the jungle, the mighty jungle
Yeah, it's actually like super proto-Pet sounds
Yeah
Those like reverb-y drums and like rim shots
Hit, hit
So what year is this? 60? 62?
Early 60s
Such a dope song
This is incredible, just vocals and drums for the verse
Not even bass
Right
Yeah, that crazy, it sounds like a theremin
I was like, is it a theremin? No
It's like an opera singer
I bet that track completely influenced the theremin on Good Vibrations
Oh yeah, that's true
When do you think the last cover of this song was?
Oh, I'm sure there's...
If you search iTunes
But also, hold up
That's probably the greatest English language white people version of this song
Keep going back?
Yeah, if we keep going back
Miriam McCabe, an incredible South African singer
She had a version of this song
And I obviously don't know how to actually pronounce it
I think it's Mbube
M-B-U-B-E is the original name of the song
And this is her version
(singing)
Is this like 50s?
This would be like 50s, 60s too
I mean, the song transformed a lot when it came into English
(singing)
She had an incredible voice
You know, once I performed in a tribute to Miriam McCabe at Carnegie Hall
That Angelique Kidjo organized
Whoa
Oh, this is so good
Listen to that bass
I'm struggling to hear the same songs yet
Well, I did hear the "hee-ee-ee-ee-ee-oo"
Now I'm getting it
Right
No, but it is pretty different
(singing)
So what did you perform?
So she asked me to perform a Miriam McCabe song
That was in her language
One of the original languages of South Africa
It's spelled X-H-O-S-A
You could call it like "cosa" or something like that
But it's one of those languages where one of the sounds in it is the click
And for anybody who didn't grow up speaking one of those languages
To nail the pronunciation
It's hard to make the sound
So she kind of gave me this cheating way to do it
Where you don't actually do the clicks
Some of her music, it's like such a part of the sound
So I had to like awkwardly, phonetically sing this song
And Desmond Tutu was in the audience
I was like, "Alright"
Glad they're not taping this
But let's take it all the way back
This is the original guy who wrote the song, Solomon Linda
And it was a big fight in the 90s for his family to get the songwriting credit
Because after The Lion King came out
It was yet another wave of money for this
So it's like one of the biggest songs of all time
That's origins are with this guy
1939
Whoever kind of put it into English
They just kind of sounded like they were saying "Wimowe"
They don't know what that meant
It's just totally phonetic
Wimowe
So you have a lot of the constituent elements
Ya-boo-da-ba
And the "ee"
Weirdly consistent theme so far in the top five
With the Paul Simon
He would later go on to like
South Africa
Work with South African
And like adapt South African songs
So you know, it's interesting listening to these old versions
Is where exactly did the verse melody come from?
The "da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da"
It's like a little bit in there
Maybe someone just came up with it
Like in an inspired moment
"Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da"
So the Americans made up the funny like
Disney jungle book lyrics
Although I think the lyrics though
Are still referencing what he was singing
Oh really?
Yeah
Something about the lions sleeping tonight
You got some info?
Are lions in the jungle? I don't think they are
What do you mean?
They're on the savannah, they're not in the jungle
You're on some Neil deGrasse Tyson shit right now
I associate lions with the Serengeti plains of Kenya
I don't associate them with like
Is there not jungle parts of the savannah?
No
There's not like a
Dense groups of trees?
Jungle is like rainforest
Where like gorillas live
You know what I mean?
Kind of
Anyway, I'm nitpicking here
No I know what you mean, but I feel like sometimes
When you're watching a nature program
You'll see the lion out there hunting
And it gets so gnarly
Like the picture, the lion's face covered in blood
Lion might hunt a gazelle
An antelope, something of that nature
Out on the savannah
But then don't they drag it back into like the brush?
That's not the jungle though
It's radically different ecosystems
Is it time for a cat to get a number crunch on that?
You know what I'm reading about is that
Lions are referred to as the king of the jungle
But Jake is correct, they don't actually live in the jungle
And there's kind of this long winded
There's a Guardian article I'm on about
Thank God the Guardian wrote an article about this
Yeah it has to do with semantics
And jungle being a Hindi word
That means not an inhabited place
And you know
It's going to be boring for me to go through all this
I gotcha
But to everybody listening to TC
Which is a major information source
News, culture, things of that nature
That's a pretty good actually
To have in your arsenal
Well actually jungle in Hindi means
Well that's a good one too, I actually didn't know that
Undeveloped terrain
I just mean like that's a good mix of an incredibly common thing that people say
Lion is the king of the jungle
Lion lives in the jungle
And it's also pretty good actually
Lions don't live in the jungle
If I could just plug the Time Crisis Twitter
If you check us out I'll link to the article
And then you can follow us at
Time Crisis 2000
On Twitter
Very popular account
I guess words change meanings
Whatever it meant, uninhabited space in Hindi
And now we associate it more with like
Rainforest, very dense kind of tree
And also even you know Savannah
If you're American when you hear the word Savannah
First thing you think of is Savannah, Georgia
Also true
King of the Savannah
King of the Savannah doesn't have the same ring to it
No, King of the Plains?
Or maybe it was as simple as whoever was writing the English language lyrics
They were bound by syllables
They had
Da da da da
And they were like I'm really trying to work in
In the Savannah
And then somebody else was like just put jungle
Who cares man, doesn't matter
In the Savannah
REM covered that song
Oh I could totally see that
It's the version The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonight
Are these two different things?
Well it says that it was a b-side of The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonight
Where they actually did The Lion Sleeps Tonight
Can we hear that version?
It's a major song
In the jungle
The quiet jungle
The lion sleeps tonight
So straight up
Yeah, heamba
Pretty weak, I mean I like REM but
I like REM but that's pretty weak
I wonder what year that is
Oh, this is from '91?
This is like out of time era
I mean they're having fun
It's not an album cut
I'm going a little country
Yeah, if we get a little pedal steel in there
It's like gonna go for the eeeeee
Oh there is a pedal steel in there
Yeah, straight up, country
Call that
The quiet village
The lion sleeps tonight
This feels a little bit like
They stopped by Sesame Street
Right
Well, actually Elmo
Lions live in the savannah
Ya moron
Owie owie owie owie owie
Is that Mike Mills?
That's Mike Mills
Owie owie owie owie owie
Peter Bux is drunk like
Do we have to do this?
Oh
Oh these guys are just horsing around
They're just horsing around
Is that a theremin?
They put a lot of time into this
When you really think
Solid four hours
That's it you think?
And then they had the producer put in the brass and everything
Maybe
In the jungle
That's not a bad good stripe
It sounds like you're trying to do like
Blink 182 version
That's way easier
In the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight
In
In the jungle
The mighty jungle
Oh yeah the nice harmonies
The lion sleeps
Tonight
The ugliest sound a human voice can make
In the jungle
Nah I can't do it
Stripe has a very distinctive voice
But it's hard to nail an impression of
He's got a lot of different gears
Don't let your slip away
That's not bad
Cause everybody
Cries
I don't know why I keep going to pop funk
You know who would have killed that?
Elvis
Vegas era Elvis
Would have destroyed that song
Oh lion sleeps tonight?
Actually now we gotta check is there an Elvis?
It's not
Maybe Vampire Weekend should cover R.E.M
I'm starting to think we got some shows booked
Oh live? Cool
What would you do man?
Start thinking about good covers
I don't know what would be like a good R.E.M
Man on the Moon?
Is that too low energy?
I mean honestly I know the world would rule
But you gotta commit those lyrics to memory
Oh yeah that's a lot
I always liked Imitation of Life
I know that's like
That sugar cane that tasted good
That's Hollywood
Come on
That's such an obscure
I mean
It was on MTV2 a lot
It's a great song but it's not like a classic
But that's cool you could do like a
Late period R.E.M cover
A classic R.E.M just like
Shiny happy people
Stand
Stand in the place that you live
Think about
Alright
Send an email if there's a
You guys could kill stand
If there's an R.E.M song you think Vampiricans should cover
Back to
Our current day
The number three song on the iTunes chart right now
Is by Lil Dicky
You know who that is Jake?
I don't
Lil Dicky is a rapper
I would describe him as a satirical rapper
But then
He randomly pops up in these like kind of
Credible rap spaces which kind of confuses me
Credible rap spaces
His vibe is that he's kind of like a goofy white guy
And his
Lyrics he's always rapping about
How he's like a dorky
White guy and hence and because his name is
Lil Dicky he's always talking about how his dick is very small
Sounds like Hot Carl
A little bit
Except this guy Lil Dicky he's actually like very popular
To the point
That he's now on the top five
And his newest song is called Freaky Friday
Featuring Chris Brown
And the entire video
It's kind of like a short film
That's basically about Lil Dicky and Chris Brown getting in a Freaky Friday
Scenario in which they swap bodies
Wow
And Lil Dicky wakes up and he's Chris Brown he's very excited
And Chris Brown wakes up and he's Lil Dicky
And he doesn't like it but then he also kind of
Likes people not bothering him on the street
So anyway
I guess maybe it's going to be like a pop song
But it's like
Lil Dicky
Ooh
Your boy Bedsheets did this song
Oh yeah Ed Sheeran does the cameo
Just Chris Brown so sincerely
Going Lil Dicky
His tattoos on my neck
I just FaceTimed Kanye
I told him I'm his biggest fan yeah
Got all these s*** in my DM
Yeah I do
Holy s*** I got a kid
Oh
I can sing so well
Wonder if I can say the N word
Wait can I really say the N word
What up my winner
Big ups my winner
We up my winner
So you understand what's happening here
I'm not sure who's who here
In the narrative of the song
So that is
That was Lil Dicky
That Lil Dicky woke up in Chris Brown's body
Hence that's Chris Brown's voice
So Lil Dicky waking up in Chris Brown's body
And exploring what it's like to be Chris Brown
So Lil Dicky FaceTimed Kanye
Now that he's in the body of Chris Brown
A black man
That's why they do this whole thing about the N word
Right okay
If you didn't see the video you'd just be like
What the hell is going on
I'm surprised it's in the top 5
Because conceptually it's kind of weird
That it translates into just audio
I guess it is a catchy song
Well keep listening
I'm that winner
I woke up in Chris Brown's body
So hot it's turned into Freaky Friday
But we got no choice but to turn this s*** sideways
I can't believe that it's Freaky Friday
It's Freaky Friday
I'm in Chris Brown's body
Driving Ferrari
And I'm like skin black
I woke up in Chris Brown's body
And I'm like skin black
I'm in Chris Brown's body
And I'm like skin black
I'm in Chris Brown's body
And I'm like skin black
I'm in Chris Brown's body
And I'm like skin black
I'm in Chris Brown's body
And I'm like skin black
I'm in Chris Brown's body
And I'm like skin black
I'm in Chris Brown's body
And I'm like skin black
I'm in Chris Brown's body
And I'm like skin black
I'm in Chris Brown's body
And I'm like skin black
I'm in Chris Brown's body
And I'm like skin black
If I was Chris Brown where would I be? What would I do?
I woke up in Chris Brown's body
So hot it's
Turned into Freaky Friday
Wait a sec, I'm so-
This is totally confusing me. So Chris Brown
is singing
"I woke up in Chris Brown's body"
Yes. So then how is that
the narrative of the song? It should be a little
Dickie-singer. No, no, no, no, no.
Because... You look so frustrated.
[laughter]
You know what's funny is I met one of the
producers of the song. I was at a party
and he was explaining this in detail to us
like three months ago. We had a conversation
like this. He was like, "So then
you know he wakes up and he's Chris Brown
so he's singing the N word." And I'm like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're gonna have little Dickie sing the N word?" He's like, "Yeah, but he's in Chris Brown's body."
And I was like, "You can't have him do that.
That's f***ed up." He's like, "No, it's okay."
Because at the time
I didn't fully understand. I wouldn't be surprised if there's some people
who still think it's not okay. But
Jake, so you understand
it's Freaky Friday. You've seen the film.
You're familiar with the concept of Freaky Friday.
I've actually never seen the film. Are you familiar with the concept of Body Swap?
Sure, sure.
So,
in the plot of the song...
No, I understand.
So, when Chris Brown sings
Right. It is Chris Brown's
body
and little Dickie's brain. But it...
Okay, so imagine... Oh, I see what you're saying.
Okay. I see what you're saying.
Right, so Chris Brown's voice
is singing, "I can't believe I woke up
in Chris Brown's body." But that's little Dickie's
thought. Right.
I made the narrative assumption
that it was first person.
Well, it is first person. Which is why
in a song it's crazy. This is so faked off.
So, the person that's singing
it is... We're hearing their
interior monologue.
That's what I assumed. Right. But that's not the case.
In the video, you're actually watching these guys
mouth it, so it makes more sense. Right.
It's very... No, no, you're right.
It's three layers. It actually opens up a very
kind of post-modern question, which is
in a song,
what is the voice we're hearing? Are you hearing the
interior voice? Because you're right.
If in the song version, we were
hearing the interior voice, the eternal
voice of little Dickie that stays with him
whatever body he's in,
then it would make more sense that we were hearing in little
Dickie's voice. Yes, that's what I assumed.
Right. And I was thinking to myself,
"Wow, little Dickie actually has a pretty good voice."
[laughs]
I set it up as like, he's this dorky white guy,
and I'm listening to the first verse
thinking it's little Dickie singing.
That was actually Chris Brown. That was Chris Brown in the
studio. I get it. You raised a good point though, because
I'm just sort of like, "Wow, he's good."
But little Dickie's not a singer,
so would he not be rapping if he
was Chris Brown still? Well, because
they're... But I... Okay. That is true.
I don't want to give them too much credit, but they do
address it because he goes,
he's exploring his body,
and his life is Chris Brown. In the video, he's looking
around the house, and he's looking at his body, and there's a part
where he goes, "I can sing
so well." Oh, that's fair.
Yeah. So it's like he's exploring his voice.
He's excited. "I can sing so well. I can't
believe it. I suddenly have this voice."
But it does raise the question,
singing is not just your vocal chords,
it's also the neural pathways in your brain.
Little Dickie wouldn't have access
to them. He wouldn't have the years of experience that
Chris Brown had. No. It's a plot hole here. He wouldn't have his
memories. He would probably need a few months
to kind of, you know... It's like
sitting down in a Ferrari, but you don't know how to drive.
He doesn't know how to drive stick shift. Yeah.
A lot of holes in freaky driving. I'm also
missing a lot, you know, this kind of... This is an
insane song to hear without watching the
video. Also, first pass, we're going
very granular.
I didn't know this song existed.
"I can sing so
well." Imagine
our song that was like this.
"I woke up in Dick's long
stretched body." Well, except if I was singing,
"I woke up in Ezra's
body."
Oh, it's because it's my interior
dialogue through your vocal cords.
The
DC version. Seinfeld
as a satirist.
Do you like this song?
Oh, I have mixed feelings about it
because I actually... I appreciate
Little Dickie and I really enjoyed his singing. Oh, really?
I like him. I like that "Save That
Money." I have like a guilty... You know,
I enjoy funny rap. I like
the Lonely Island, you know,
Weird Al. It's not cool to admit,
but I like rap that's funny.
And I really like his "Save That Money" video.
I don't know if you saw that. This is the
concept. Again, he's very conceptual, but the
video is that he's trying to do like a
big baller rap video and
he's doing everything for free.
So it opens with him like going door to door
in LA trying to get like mansions to shoot
in and he borrows a fee,
goes to a dealership and he gets a car
and he's driving it around. And I was talking to a
friend about this and he was like, "You know, this is really funny.
I don't know if I can support the rehabilitation
of Chris Brown." Right, yeah.
And there's a part in the video where
Chris Brown, you know,
with the soul, I guess, of the little dick inside,
he discovers a gun in his own
house. And it's like,
I don't know, I'm a little on the fence about it.
Yeah, why you gotta bring guns into it?
But then again, will Chris Brown ever
be redeemable? It opens up questions
that are maybe worth considering.
But, um, what was the question?
I can't believe that.
Next thing will be with R. Kelly.
Right? I thought the Ed Sheeran and
Kendall Jenner stuff at the end was pretty funny.
Oh, so Ed comes in. Well then at the end,
they break the curse.
Okay. They go back into their bodies
but then there's like this kind of
sting ending where then
he flips into a few other people's bodies.
So he's in DJ Khaled's body, then he's in Ed Sheeran's
body. And when he's Ed Sheeran he goes like,
"I'm in Ed Sheeran's body.
This isn't as cool as being in
Chris Brown's body." And then he's
in Kendall Jenner's body and so on.
How's Kendall work out for him? Let's play it.
Let's see if it's in it.
I think that's Kendall Jenner actually singing. Oh yeah.
That's funny. That's funny.
That's straight up. It's like an SNL skit
It's like a skit basically.
Yeah exactly.
I mean, exactly.
When you watch the video you'll understand it's an SNL sketch.
Wow.
The one thing that I'll say about it is the chorus to me is so funny that it's, because
it's like a real, these are like real pop dudes, real writers in that.
"I woke up in Chris Brown's body.
So hot as shit, turned into Freaky Friday.
But we got no choice but to turn this shit sideways.
I can't believe that it's Freaky Friday."
Something about the earnest delivery of "I can't believe that it's Freaky Friday."
Just like, because the other parts they know they're being, it's like they're being silly
and shit.
And I just love that he very earnestly delivers "I can't believe that it's Freaky Friday."
Just sings it so well.
And just, also, just that line, "I can't believe that it's Freaky Friday."
You're right, Seinfeld, there's some thorny issues that maybe we'll get into if it stays
in the top five, but they accomplished something here.
Also you know what I find that's so funny is like, imagine that it actually happened
and that you're like, "Holy shit, I'm in somebody else's body."
And then you just like look in the mirror and you say, "I can't believe that it's Freaky
Friday."
I don't know why I find that, that to me is the funniest part of the song.
It's like Freaky Friday is like a fairly common occurrence that like is frequent enough.
The tone of the song is not "Holy shit, everything I understand about science and reality is,"
it's more just like, "Oh, I forgot it was Memorial Day."
I can't believe that it's Freaky Friday.
Or yes, it turns like, "Oh, today's Valentine's Day, I can't believe it.
I got to go buy my girlfriend something."
This is a very interesting top five in 1972.
So far we had Paul Simon, Mother and Child Reunion.
Epic top five.
And we had Donny Osmond and Robert John.
And now number two, the number two song.
Imagine this, that this was a big hit song in 1972.
The epitome of the tasteful palette of the 70s.
Number two song 1972.
Nice.
That's just one of those songs that everybody kind of likes.
It's a classic, but it's not cheesy.
It's...
Hey, Seinfeld, you'll appreciate this.
What's up?
Neil Young was the first Canadian to have a number one album with Harvest in April '72
on the Billboard 200.
Oh, wow.
That's surprising.
I mean, what Canadians were popping before Neil?
Joni?
Joni.
But was that pre-Neil?
Yeah, well, yeah.
The blue was '71.
Oh, what about Paul Anka, who we referenced?
He's not, he's not Canadian, is he?
I feel like we've had this conversation before.
I know he's...
About Paul Anka being Canadian?
I think he's Lebanese American.
He's a Canadian American according to Wikipedia.
He was born, yeah, he was born in Ottawa, Ontario.
To Lebanese immigrant parents?
Uh, sure.
Yeah, all right.
But he made, probably wouldn't have had a number one album.
Yeah.
I guess one thing we could just say is like, this is a classic song, everybody knows it.
What's it really about, Jake?
What's your interpretation?
I've never thought about it really.
I've been a miner for a heart of gold.
What a cool voice.
He's just looking for a good person.
He's just looking for somebody he could trust.
Yeah maybe.
He feels like a miner, except he's not mining for real gold.
He's mining for a heart of gold.
I like it.
Keeps me searching for a heart of gold.
And I'm getting old.
The number two song back in 2018, Bebe Rexha featuring FGL.
Oh my God.
This song won't die, man.
I don't know if you guys follow Bebe on Twitter.
I don't.
She's been catching some flack.
Oh really?
For doing a country song and she's been defending herself.
Who's given her flack?
Like just fans.
Country fans?
Country fans.
Oh.
Yeah.
That's a whack vibe.
Yeah.
If this is what counts as a country song, then everybody's got to chill.
I get the impression this was a bigger song than they expected it was going to be.
Oh yeah.
Massive.
I woke up in a country singer's body.
I'm just a pop singer from New York and now I'm singing with somebody called Florida,
Georgia line.
Well, I'm confused too.
Jake, your hold up girl is very popular on Twitter.
What do you mean?
I don't know.
You did like hold up girl last time, but it was like, it's the thing now.
Oh, like hold up.
Yeah.
Oh wait, because the guy's like took a clip from the show.
I don't know.
The guy sings it in the song.
Yeah.
People were quoting you and stuff.
That's hilarious.
That's so hilarious to listen to this like pop trap country song and be like, how dare
you try to sing country?
Ms. Rexa.
How dare you pop trap country?
Let's not forget the auto tune element.
Pop trap auto tune country.
How dare you steal the 16th note high hat patterns of traditional country music.
Ms. Rexa, the booming 808 bass drums of country music.
People like Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings.
They worked and fought to imbue Southern music with booming 808 bass drums and program snaps.
And Ms. Rexa, you New York City girl coming.
Did Bebe Rexa's fans also give her shit because she probably already lose them all.
I think it's cool.
I think they were standing up for her.
You know, did you stand up for your big Bebe Rexa fan?
Yeah.
You know, well, we're following her on Twitter, the time crisis, you know, time, time, time
crisis, every, every once in a while.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
Does she have a show on Apple music on beats one?
I wonder if she knows about the crisis.
I don't, you know, unlikely we can never have her on the show.
You would melt.
You'd be a blubbering mess.
You're too big of a fan.
I don't want to think about what would happen if we did.
Is Bebe Rexa her real name?
I'd keep it together.
I think it is.
Let's see.
Keep it together.
Bebe Rexa.
Oh, she is Bleta quote Bebe Rexa.
Oh, that's what kind of name is that?
Bleta.
Um, you'd think I'd know Albanian.
That's sick.
Albanian and Kosovar heritage these days.
Do a lip of Bebe Rexa Rita Ora.
Action Bronson.
Yeah.
Shout out to people from that area.
I woke up in a country singer's body this week in 1972.
The number two song was heart of gold and the number one song was this.
Wow.
So this was just the wave.
These kind of like minor key acoustic.
I was assuming the song was just ripping off Neil Young.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
What else is there to assume?
But it came out the same time as his biggest hit.
So maybe to some extent it was sort of like the house style of the day.
But Neil has a pretty distinctive voice.
They got some shit for it.
Some radio stations banned it because they believe that a horse was slang for heroin.
But then the singer from America said, it's not about drugs.
It's about the things I saw when I was visiting the United States.
Cause they're like English or something.
Wait, I thought they're not American.
I think they're, you know what?
I think they're American like army brats who grew up in England.
So they're growing up in England, basking in the warm tones of SoCal country rock.
Wow.
So they have like English accents and stuff?
I don't know.
Yeah.
All their dads are stationed at a US Air Force base near London and they went to high school
in London.
I mean, I guess it's sort of like if you like got the top five from like 92, it was like
Pearl Jam and then like Stone Temple Pilots.
Right.
Yeah.
Is Scott Weiland ripping off Eddie Vedder?
I don't know.
Kind of.
Or maybe that's just the wave.
That's just kind of the sound of the era.
That's just the wave.
I woke up in Neil Young's body.
I can't believe it's Freaky Friday.
You know what's cool about Freaky Friday?
Lil Dicky and Chris Brown, they could keep making Freaky Fridays.
They could do historical Freaky Fridays.
Oh yeah.
Neil Young and Joni Mitchell have a Freaky Friday.
Chris Brown and Lil Dicky do Neil Young and Joni Mitchell.
Well, I'm just saying they could like, they could produce it.
Oh, I see.
They could do Freaky Fridays throughout history.
You know, like there's those guys who used to make the epic rap battles of history.
Be like Einstein is, you know, rapping against-
I don't think I know that.
Wow.
Bill Gates, Steve Jobs.
That was a big one.
Yeah.
So you could do Freaky Fridays throughout history.
Napoleon wakes up in the Duke of Wellington's body.
The number one song back in our era, 2018, Ben Platt and Lin-Manuel Miranda.
Jake, do you know who those people are?
I know who Lin-Manuel Miranda is.
Prove it.
I don't know who Ben Platt is.
Who is Lin-Manuel Miranda?
He wrote Hamilton.
Right.
Don't forget about In the Heights.
Fake fan.
Oh, never heard of it.
And I know he was on season 10 of Curb.
That's right.
As himself.
That's right.
Ben Platt is also a giant of musical theater.
Okay.
He's the star of Dear Evan Hansen.
Have you heard of that?
Mm-mm.
Have you?
Yeah, I've heard of it.
It's a major Broadway musical right now.
And he won the Tony Award for Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Musical.
This is like Jay-Z and Kanye coming together on Watch the Throne.
Right.
It's called Found Tonight, and it's a mashup of two Broadway musical numbers.
Hamilton's the story of tonight, a song you of course are familiar with as someone who's
seen Hamilton, and Dear Evan Hansen's You Will Be Found.
And this is a benefit single raising money for the survivors of the high school shooting
in Florida.
Okay.
So you can't say anything bad about it.
Nope.
This is for a good cause.
We may not yet have reached our glory, but I will gladly join the fight.
And when our children tell their story, they'll tell the story of tonight.
They'll tell the story of tonight.
What's Dear Evan Hansen about?
Seinfeld, do you know what Dear Evan Hansen's about?
I'm hearing about it for the first time now.
You've never even heard of it?
No.
Oh wait, is it the one about like bullying or something and the guy-
Is it like he writes letters?
You know what, I think I do know this actually.
Is that why it's called Dear Evan Hansen?
Yeah.
It's writing letters to a bully?
Is this the guy who gets like panic attacks or something?
It's a bully who gets panic attacks.
Oh wait, oh!
Yeah.
Evan Hansen is a high school senior who suffers from social anxiety disorder, which inhibits
his ability to connect with other people.
And?
And make friends.
It's a whole story.
He gets over it?
He goes on meds?
What happens?
I'm not going to ruin the musical for people.
Why didn't Lin-Manuel, like they could have Freaky Friday'd the shit out of this.
Why didn't they?
They could have switched it up.
That's true.
No matter what they tell you, someone will come running to take you.
It's Alexander Hamilton.
I can't believe I woke up in Alexander Hamilton's body.
I'm just a high school student from the modern era.
And then Alexander Hamilton wakes up in Dear Evan Hansen's body.
I can't believe I woke up in Dear Evan Hansen's body.
I know we'd appreciate this more if we were more familiar with the source material.
Musicals are popping.
Musicals might be bigger than movies right now.
I don't like that.
Why?
I don't like musicals.
What about what they call jukebox musicals?
What's that?
That's when they take the catalog of a classic artist, like a Billy Joel or a Queen.
Like Jersey Boys?
Is Jersey Boys considered a jukebox musical?
I would say so based on that description.
But Jersey Boys is telling the story of the group.
There's even a step beyond, like Jimmy Buffett's about to roll one out, where you use the classic
songs of an artist and then you write a story just around it.
Mamma Mia.
Yeah, like Mamma Mia.
Whose work is that?
ABBA.
Oh, really?
Classic Tom Craze's favorite.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Like Mamma Mia with Meryl Streep and stuff?
Mamma Mia, here I go again.
Oh, I didn't realize.
They do like Dancing Queen in it.
Oh, I didn't realize it was that.
ABBA's perfect for that.
ABBA has so many incredible songs, so they chose to make a musical in conjunction with
the main ABBA people.
And rather than saying, "Well, let's do a musical about the early days of ABBA and how
we got together," they said, "No, no, no, f*** that.
We're going to do a musical about a girl who's coming to Greece to get married and hang out
with her hippie-dippie mom, and then she asks her mom who her real father is and it gets
confusing.
So it's about a wedding and it's in Greece and it's fun."
Gotcha.
So they said that when they sing the songs, they'll sing like The Winner Takes It All
at a tender moment.
"The winner takes it all."
They'll sing Dancing Queen where everybody's dancing and trying to cheer up.
I gotcha.
Jukebox musicals.
Yeah, so you could do one for the Eagles.
So for instance, I'm sure that somebody at some point started developing one.
So if there was an Eagles jukebox musical, and it wouldn't shock me-
Desperado.
Literally, it would be like they'd create a character and his name's like Randy Ortega,
just moved to California.
Sings New Kid in Town.
"There's talk on the street, it sounds so familiar."
And then at some point he meets a girl and he likes her, but then he goes down to the
cafe and he sees her.
Or no, there's a girl he really likes, but she's married to this sh*tty rich dude.
"You can't hide your lying eyes."
At some point it'd be like Hotel California.
This would be the part in the third act where she's like, "Randy, you've changed.
You're a rock star now.
You don't care.
Look at you staying here at the Chateau Marmont with all your drugs and your women."
She's like, "Come on, leave with me now."
"I can't leave, babe.
Get out of here."
She's like, "You can check out, but you can never leave."
And then he's like, "All alone at the end of the evening."
And then he stays up all night doing coke and he's drinking as the sun rises.
"It's another tequila sunrise."
Oh yeah, you know what?
It's back to back.
He has his Hotel California moment where that shows that now he's entered this new phase
of his life.
You could picture the cast in musicals.
It's always the general players would come up to him with their arms like, "Plenty of
room at the Hotel California."
He's really enticed by it.
And then finally he takes the plunge and then he's straight up doing coke.
"Mirrors on the ceiling."
And then he's just straight up, "Pink champagne on ice."
Laughing in the fast lane.
But then he has a crazy night and he's loving it.
And then he wakes up and it's a tequila sunrise.
And then his redemption song is maybe "Desperado."
"Desperado."
Maybe it's about his buddy.
The Glenn Frey character is just like, "I accomplished my wildest dreams, but at what
cost, man?"
Glenn's like, "Yeah, man.
Time for you to come to your senses."
He's like, "I just don't know if I can."
He's like, "Yeah, you can, man."
"You've been out riding."
What is the lyrics?
"You've been out riding fences."
It's "You've been out riding fences."
Something.
I think it is.
Yeah.
And then the final, final closing number to just go out with is, "Take it easy."
Yeah, he and the girl get back together.
"Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy."
What do you guys see in this movie?
Just out of curiosity.
Well, we're going to workshop it in San Diego first.
This is basically just like an Eagles biopic at this point.
Kind of.
Yeah, it's like thinly, loosely based on the...
Who would play kind of like the main dude, the Randy?
I guess it'd have to be like some young up and comer.
Oh, "Call Me By Your Name," the...
Chalamet?
Chalamet, right?
That's what he is like.
Sure.
His mainstream breakout.
Yeah, if he could sing.
Sure.
"Don't let the sound of your..."
But it's like this really cheesy...
"Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy."
Like the Glee version, basically.
Yeah, basically.
"Timothy Chalamet is Don Henley.
Robert Pattinson as Timothy B. Schmidt as Randy Meisner."
There's also a version where the main character...
This would be like some rock opera type...
Like doesn't have a name.
It'd be like, "Robert Pattinson as the Drifter."
They never say his name.
Oh, yeah.
And then there's also the kid.
The kid.
As the kid.
Great idea.
Well, that's our top five.
Hell of a show.
We came up with $2 billion ideas.
I feel like you went with like five.
Yeah.
I don't even remember what we...
We came up with $5 billion worth of ideas on today's show.
Any lawyers who want to help out, you know the email, 8minutecapecod.
It's spelled out right, E-I-G-H-T-E-N.
No, it's the numeral eight.
Oh, sorry.
I lost it.
Yeah, no.
8minutecapecod.
You'll figure it out.
Yeah.
I'll be like, "I'm not sure."
I'll be like, "I'm not sure."
I'll be like, "I'm not sure."
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