Episode 71: Dear Nora & Summer Hits
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Transcript
Time Crisis, here once again. Jake and I return to the studio to reflect
on our weekend in Ojai, our legendary weekend. We also talked to Dear Nora's Katie Davidson
about their new album and when they first met Jake in college in Portland. This is kind of
a different tone for the intro but anyway this is Time Crisis with Ezra Koenig. Beats one.
Time Crisis back once again. Back from Ojai. I guess we should talk about the Ojai shows a
little bit. Yeah. At this point they were two weeks ago but hell of a weekend. It was a great
weekend. For people who don't know Richard Pictures, Jake's Grateful Dead cover band and
Vampire Weekend played two shows together. That was kind of the Vampire Weekend's kickoff after
not having played live in a long time. Crowds were great and I gotta say I love playing during the
day because we played Saturday night and then Sunday morning. And the Saturday night show was
we played at 6 p.m. Yeah so it's more of like a late afternoon show. Late afternoon in a morning
show. Yeah Sunday morning we had to be there at 8 30 a.m. for sound check. That was a first. That's
brutal. Did you make it at 8 30? I was there at 8 15. Wow. Had a breakfast sandwich, cup of coffee,
I was ready to go. Yeah that was a great vibe just like it was a good backstage vibe there. Oh yeah.
We had so many like friends and family around. Food was on point. Shout out to Beacon Coffee in
Ojai. They set up a little stand. I also love that just like on the Sunday show just sipping
a coffee in between songs. Oh yeah. Feeling good. Saturday night I was doing a little tequila between
songs. Yeah. Sunday morning doing some coffee. Doing some coffee. I definitely want to do more.
I think that's the I want to do the Vampire Weekend patented weekend show concept. We play
Saturday night Sunday morning. That's strong. Tequila and coffee. We could we could we could
we'll get get a sponsorship from both. Tequila and coffee tour. Gotta finish the album now.
It may be a little bit off in the future but we'll definitely do it. What are you like half
done with the album? About I just I just feel like I need to write a few more songs. I think
I might go to down to Mexico for a couple weeks get some inspo. So we're looking like a mid 2020
release on that record. Yeah definitely the next president. Trump's second term. Oh god no we got
hope. Um no it's very close to being done but finishing records is truly one of my least
favorite things to do. What is it so many details and like second guessing like what's the? Well
it's kind of like I think the things that I do well or the things that I like to do that I care
about a lot of like songwriting arrangement conceptual things. Right. Singing. I like the
micro details of songwriting and I like the big picture details of production and arrangement.
You know I love to be working with a producer and be kind of like no we should rethink this the song
should be tight and dry and the drum should be like this. What I don't like is getting really
into the weeds which is what you have to do at the end. And this is what I'm listening to like
literally sometimes I mean RL bust my balls because we literally have songs where because
you know you have to save the a new version every time you restart Pro Tools. Oh wow. Well you know
just to for you just to be diligent because what if you needed to go back to a version. Right so
save as. There's songs where I think there's like 150 to 200 versions. That's insane. How do you
even like. Well you know. Parse that out. You hope you don't have to go back to it but that's why
it's a lot of data. So you're just chewing through hard drives. Oh yeah man terabytes. Good lord.
Like mining Bitcoin over there. Basically. Cooking the earth. God we probably should have.
Back where back I used to front lock and go out mechanics bug anchorage and Dar es Salaam.
Well only New York with champagne and disco. Take some M&A slash San Francisco. But actually Oakland
and Alameda. Your girl was in Berkeley with a communist reader. Mine was in town with a boombox
and Walkman. I was a horrible girl that was back then. But yeah you have to do all this stuff at
this point where and I've always hated this on every album where you know the song is good. You
know the arrangements good. You know that the conceptual production is good. But now I'm
listening to it I'm just like wait are people going to know it. Did the vocal get too quiet
there. People can be weirded out. Or does that sit well. Does it get a little harsh. Get a little
too mid rangy like those kind of real micro details which. And then you're so in and you
take a step back. But yeah. So now I have this real strong feeling when we were driving back
from Ohio and it was a really fun weekend like the shows were great. Great crew of people. We
had after party on Saturday night. We had a barbecue with great tacos. That was huge. On Sunday people
flew in from New York. It was just amazing. Then Monday ripping back to L.A. Rashid and Despot in
the car talking about life. I was just kind of looking out the window and I was like I really
have this sense of accomplishment where I was like man we really did it. We crushed Ohio. We
crushed Ohio for the weekend. And then I started to realize that my work had barely even begun.
I had this sense of exhaustion from working on the album so long. And even you know it was like
a fun weekend. But like on Sunday I ate a lot of tacos. And I ate a Choco Taco for dessert too.
And I was throwing down spicy margs at the barbecue. And then I stayed in the hot tub too long.
I was cooked. You crashed out hard at like 645. Yeah when I got out of the hot tub I felt
incredibly nauseous. I really could like visualize the spicy marg and the Choco Taco and the real
tacos. Oh and the real quesadillas just getting like boiled in my stomach. Yeah so whatever.
I'm basically I'm trying to say we worked hard. We played hard. It was a big weekend. And then
I'm driving back and I had this real sense of like that's all it should be. You know it's like when
you're a kid and you're in a school play. They rehearse for like four months. Then they do two
performances. And it's like really just like you know or maybe they do three. Yeah. A Sunday matinee.
But you know like it's like this giant thing that the kids do. Working their asses off like learning
their lines and like holy this is such a big deal. Then you perform it three times by Sunday evening.
Parents are there. Yeah parents are there. Everybody comes out. The community comes out.
Saturday. Sunday night you crush some Coca-Cola from a plastic two liter and some pizza. Pasta
dinner. Maybe a pasta dinner. And you're like wow we really did this. And you're like but it's only
one weekend. And I don't know I felt like that a little bit. Like that'd be hilarious. It's just
like you work on an album for years and it's all building up to one weekend of shows. Two shows in
Ojai. Just two shows in Ojai. Tequila and coffee. I almost had this feeling and it was like funny
because we didn't really even play any new stuff. So it's not like we even presented any of the new
music to the fans. But I did have this feeling of just like kind of rolling back to L.A. just kind
of like had that feeling like yeah you know maybe I'll just take a few days off to chill and start
thinking about the next record.
What's Texas bound? We stopped over in Santa Fe. That day in the pool. Just about halfway.
Hey you know it was the hottest part of the day.
And I took the horse up to the stall. Went to the bar room. Ordered drinks for all.
Three days in the saddle. You know my body hurt. It'd been summer. I took off my shirt.
And I tried to wash off some of that dusty dirt.
Went to Texas Cowboys. There's all around. We were liquor and money. They loaded down.
So soon after payday. No it seemed a shame. He starts playing the game.
How was Santa Ana? Oh yeah then I forgot that we were playing Santa Ana.
We played the two shows at the observatory in Santa Ana. What's that? Like is that a
rock club or what is it? Yeah it's a it's an 1100 cap rock club. Great sight lines.
What does that mean exactly? It's not like some weird old theater where everybody is just like
standing in in a row. This place I don't know how long this has been open like five years. This place
was clearly designed for fan enjoyment. So it's kind of like a wide club and there's tiers. Oh
cool. So there's kind of not a bad place to stand in the house. I mean it's not like I've ever seen
a show there but my impression was there wasn't a bad place to stand in the house. It was definitely
different energy than the Ohio shows. I think I talked about it on stage a little bit because
Ohio was like crunchy hippy dippy father's day weekend. A lot of t-shirt sales going off the
chain. Oh yeah the t-shirt sales in Ohio were just unbelievable. Your guys shirts blew out. Oh yeah
sold them out first day. The father yeah first day. I had people just irate with me on the internet.
Really? Just like do not post t-shirts online that you will not be selling on the internet. Oh and
I was like I got nothing for that. Guys it's 2018 there's gonna be a lot of interplay between the
internet and IRL. Yep. That's just how it is. Yeah and then the vampire weekend father's day shirts
blew out. Shout out to uh bring out your dead. Oh yeah. His shirts blew out very soft too. Yeah I
got in trouble with even some uh people close to me in my life because everybody was like yo can I
get some of those shirts and I was like yeah and I was like you know what on Sunday I'll grab some
then I get there on Sunday and I'm like yo can I get like five of these all gone. Yeah. I'm gonna
do a little reprint. It gets stressful with the shirts because it's limited run people are just
like right like I need one. Like yeah well but hey it's a good problem to have. Yeah. It's better
than the stress of uh ripping back down to LA with 200 unsold vampire weekend Richard pictures
June 16th 17th 2018 Ohio shirts. Taking up all sorts of room in the garage.
Smash got like two years from now. Although are these the shirts from that Ohio weekend still here?
Oh man. I think we're gonna start doing shirts for every show. Oh I love it. Like we're playing
August 9th at the Old Town Pub. SoCal people mark your calendars. It's the anniversary of
Jerry Garcia's death. Oh yeah. So we're playing a big two set night there August 9th but we're
gonna do shirts for that. Oh sick. Yeah we did we did a special Santa Ana shirt too. Oh really?
I don't know if it blew out though. That's a deep shirt. We just did another long sleeve but anyway
yeah the observatory is a great club in Santa Ana. Um I think I've said things to this effect
on the show before but sometimes people think like you know when we post certain things on
Instagram we're being cryptic or mysterious or yeah or even like with the shows that there's
like you know sometimes there's no rhyme or reason it's just like somebody asked me a month ago hey
after the Ohio shows you want to do a couple more get everybody like continue to play yeah and you
know of course in my head a month ago I'm like yeah maybe even by then we'll be dropping new
songs in the set but whatever people seem chill but anyway yeah the energy was super different
because I don't know if it's like part of Orange County culture but people there like bring real
enthusiasm because you know like a lot of times people will generalize and say like well LA New
York shows the crowd's a little more arms crossed yeah not that psyched but then you know if you go
play show in Jersey or Orange County or just you know a little bit away from the big city
right people know how to have a good time and I kind of forgot that like there was significant
amounts of crowd surfing in Santa Ana sick which of course like you know Sunday morning in Ohio
you're not gonna get any of that especially after the a dead cover band opens it up in a real chill
way yeah that was chill vibes this was a little more intense a lot of like really loud singing
which was cool like people shouting the songs at the top of their lungs yeah nice yeah and just
really have some moshing moshing yeah to what songs cousin um there was like sometimes there'd
be like a light mosh to a not very moshy type song but yeah definitely the higher energy ones
you would see like real movement dude the pit during white sky yeah there was like yeah there
was a little bit like that have you had pits before yeah it was it made me think back because
maybe also because like I've been haven't done it in years and you know I'm older so I'm just more
chill now I then I kind of remembered I was like oh yeah in certain places we used to play it was
like straight up crazy pits wow I remember the UK that would happen a lot because they get down there
over there no but I remember one time it was like there was like a pit during horchata or some like
song that wasn't like one of the punky ones people just want to rage yeah but I respect that it's
tight yeah well then you always get a little stressed out because you know you're watching
the whole thing unfold in a way that the audience can't see yeah so and there was like some very
athletic crowd surfing there's like this uh dude and uh the second Santana show who wasn't even
just crowd surfing at a certain point his bros were like holding up his feet and legs and he was
crowd standing you know what I mean wow almost like some uh cheerleading but then there's also
just like you know sometimes you see like a big dude crowd surfing and the whole especially there
the whole club can see it so you're kind of like hell yeah you shout him out but then you look and
you're like you know see his like foot just missed somebody's head and you're just like imagining
some scenario where you're like oh hell yeah check it out crowd surfing bro and the next thing you
know like some you know smaller person is being like carried out by the bouncer everybody's like
dead quiet I'm just like I'm sorry I wasn't encouraging it I was just you know trying to
shout out I like the enthusiasm but yeah ratcheting it down a couple notches guys
all right well this is a hell of a show now that we're all caught up we got your original college
buddy katie davidson yep who I also know calling in calling in talk about the new dear nora album
which is katie's iconic is it fair to call them indie dear nora yeah yeah iconic indie band um
we got some listener emails and uh I don't know if we're totally done talking about wendy's and
iHob and things like that okay that was a major event man I saw someone tweeted at you that the
data seems to imply that they did not get more foot traffic right iHob that was gratifying the
thing that I don't like about it though is like you know everybody's gonna gang up on iHob but
they're gonna let all these other suckers get a pass you know what I mean everybody likes to see
a loser but sometimes you got to look around and be like you know what you're all losers all you
fast food social media places and by the way I haven't forgotten about Punisher Burgers
been accused I thought you just creeping into Punisher Burger character I'm still thinking
about it I still want to do it Frank Castle I make my own burgers and I do my own social media
I I still like that idea this is one TC idea that's not going to get lost in the sands of
time but anyway we'll get into all that later let's get Katie on the phone now let's go into
the time crisis hotline hey this is Katie hey Jake how are you great hey what's up Katie
Ezra's here too Ezra hello welcome to time crisis thank you honored to be here this might be the
best connection by far that we've ever had for a phone call oh nice is it because we're using
we're using FaceTime audio FaceTime audio I'm in a like a pretty empty room concrete and drywall
I guess I better net better internet speeds than I was imagining so all good you got some blazing
fast internet or did you like pay extra to get some like industrial like Google like with big fat
cables I did not know just standard I bet you could deal a terabyte and a lot of reverb off
that concrete and drywall too it's nice it's nice is it nice yeah you ever record vocals in there
no I should um well I got a question to kick things off for both of you so you and Jake
originally college buddies went on to play music together but just paint the paint the picture for
me you two guys Lewis and Clark College Portland Oregon what uh fall of 95 fall of 95 Jerry's just
died Jerry just died Bill Clinton's president what's going on you guys are freshmen yeah yeah
wow have you said your side yet Jake no no this is new territory for time crisis
here's my recollection I lived one floor below Katie and we started playing music together pretty
shortly after meeting I would say within like a month or two and I remember our first like real
friend road trip was to Eugene Oregon and I want to say October November 95 to see Pavement play
yeah wowie zowie tour oh wow that's some classic that's some classic college stuff is like trying
to figure out who your friends are totally like you guys known each other for a month and just
being like uh you want to see pavement and Eugene yeah yeah figuring out that we like the same band
it's important well Lewis and Clark at that time though was a real hippie school yeah I think it's
a little more hip now but totally back then it was like hardcore hacky sack campus dogs
fish right fish was like the predominant aesthetic and so if you kind of sniffed out someone else
that was into like other you know whatever pavement that kind of stuff that was a big deal
is that fair yeah totally fair um I got one more addition to to your story I mean there's I'm sure
there's more but so I was roomed with our friend Mariana Richie and we used to we were kind of
becoming friends quickly as well and we would we were in I can't remember if we were in the same
Spanish class together or something whatever the point is I had my acoustic guitar with me
she had her banjo with her and we used to just make up songs in our dorm room and um sing so
loud and just sing in harmony and sing these songs in Spanish I remember this yeah and so I remember
that one of our connections was that you were into the music that you could hear coming out of our
I loved it Jake just yeah walking down the hallway just do like a quick knock on the door
just like yeah hey sounds pretty good sounds pretty good my name is Jake Longstreet I'm a
freshman from Connecticut so formal oh I know yeah oh god that reminds me I don't know if I
ever told this story on time crisis but I remember the first week of me being at college and I didn't
know anybody and I was pretty like a little tiny bit panicked because I'd gone to some like
students weekend at Brown when I was a senior in high school and the guy who was hosting me
was kind of like not that into his experience at Brown so far and I just remember you know trying
to do whatever you're in these weird situations where you're kind of like I guess I'm supposed
to ask questions I was like um do you have any advice for incoming freshmen and the guy and the
guy got dead-ass serious and said my advice make sure you make friends in the first week I messed
up man I didn't lock it down first semester and by spring semester I was floundering it's not fun
and I was like oh my god oh my god so anyway I took that with me so my my friend my first week
in college I do remember actually walking down a hallway and hearing some dude blasting um
kid a by Radiohead and then I was like every fiber in my being did not want to do it but
I like another voice in my head was just like this is how it gets done in adulthood and I just kind
of walked in and be like oh you like Radiohead I'm like I'm pretty sure I never talked to that
person again had like an awkward 15 minute like dorm room hang and so anyway I'm pretty cool I'm
glad it worked out for you guys
'Cause around and 'round we'll go until we stop.
So I can't get around the way I feel when you're around.
'Cause around and 'round we'll go until we stop.
But you are right and I am wrong, and so we never get along.
And so we go around and 'round again.
Time Crisis
Yeah, and then we started playing music and started a few bands.
Yep.
And then what year did Dear Nora start? '97?
No, dude, it wasn't until after... it was like pretty much right after we graduated.
I think senior year, Richie and I just started recording all those
songs in the Lewis and Clark basement.
Right.
Like the music, the music rooms and the drum rooms.
And then those would go on to be called Dear Nora recordings, but we didn't...
Right.
I think we started playing Dear Nora live shows.
I'm pretty sure... I want to say fall... wait, when did we graduate?
Yeah, fall '99. So it was the fall after we graduated.
Oh, wow. Okay.
Yeah.
But some of those songs were already iconic in my imagination and in our friend group.
Right. A couple of the songs have been around.
You knew the early stuff.
Oh, wow. So you guys started in '99.
That means Dear Nora spans three decades.
Oh my God, it's true.
It's always funny when people put it like it's like clearly not even 20 years yet,
but just because you edged out, spanning three decades.
The 90s, the aughts and the teens.
Dear Nora.
Yeah. Well, it's funny that you bring that up because I now privy to the fact that I have
these fans that are very much younger than me and they make an assumption, which I think,
like I understand where it comes from, but they like talk to me about what the 90s were like.
And I'm like, yeah, I mean, most of what Dear Nora did wasn't in the 90s.
Of course, we were like, lived the 90s.
We remember it. We went to pavement shows in the 90s.
But like, I don't know.
I wasn't really like part of like that mid 90s, early 90s Riot Grrrl scene or anything.
Right. Just by virtue of the fact that the band started in the 90s,
it kind of drags you into a decade that you were only performing live in for a few months of.
Yeah, I think they picture me being more even more of an elder than I already am.
I was just asking Jake because I hoped it wasn't derogatory because some people have
mixed feelings about it. But is it fair to describe Dear Nora as indie?
Because over those three decades, the word has changed quite a bit,
you know, in the way how people describe music, how people feel about it.
Back in 99, would you guys have called yourself an
indie band or was there even any reason to describe yourselves?
I guess gut reaction is like what I associate with that term and the way it's used is like
independent label, which is what we were clearly on.
When people called us indie pop, I was like, I don't know what that is, but all right, fine.
I'm sure it was just like the same when like people started telling the guys in Pearl Jam
and Alice in Chains that they were grunge. Yeah, and they were like, OK, if you say so.
Right.
I don't remember us ever being like, oh, yeah, we're an indie rock band.
No, that just wasn't even really on my radar. I like I came to college from rural Arizona.
I listened to whatever, quote unquote, college rock or, you know, some of the
bigger independent labels, if they were even called that back then.
But yeah, I just like mostly we were just trying to like play songs like
Pavement and Weezer and stuff.
As we referred to your band before we called you as a was that seminal indie band or what
was the term you used? Renown?
Seminal, renowned, classic, something of that nature.
Oh, thank you so much.
Thank you.
Dusty Coat, Dusty Coat, Dusty Coat, Dusty Coat
Did you notice ancient desert, did you?
Hmm
It's enough to wipe you off a juniper and clove
Deserted is the word for all this wonderful nothing
Antidote for mindlessness
Antidote for mindlessness
Antidote for mindlessness
I noticed like more and more that Dear Nora, like you were saying about younger fans coming up to you and asking you about the 90s, but it's definitely a thing.
It's been in the air for the past couple of years. More and more young bands shouting out Dear Nora.
Yeah.
Like definitely the work has cast a long shadow.
Yeah, I mean, it kind of came as a surprise to me. I mean, I started moving on to other things in my life. I was still writing songs, but I guess it's just sort of as streaming
platforms became more commonplace.
More people started hearing it and not just hearing like one or two songs on YouTube or whatever, but like going hella deep.
And like just knowing like obscure, weird shit I wrote when I was like 20.
Right. That's sick. That's like the story you want to hear about the more interconnected streaming universe, which you almost never hear.
You know, like you think like, wow, everybody has access to everything. People will be kind of rediscovering bands on independent labels from that era.
You just don't hear too many stories. There's something like I think pretty like unique about it.
Cream rises to the top.
That's right.
I mean, it's totally true. Like I said, I was totally surprised.
I heard via our friend who I mentioned, Richie, via Michael Azarad. Michael Azarad emailed Richie and was like, hey, there's a band that has a song called Dear Nora.
And he's like, they're really good. You should check them out. And it was Girlpool.
I was like, what? I was like, what?
So, you know, just like just hearing that shit.
Let me talk to my lawyer.
Yeah.
Cease and desist.
At first I was irate. Then once I calmed down, I thought, OK, that's pretty cool.
Their song, Dear Nora, is a truly loving tribute to the aesthetic of those early records.
I love that.
It sounds like mountain rock or something to me.
It's a beautiful song.
It really is.
Yeah. And to like take it a step further, when I finally met those two, who I absolutely adore, they're incredible.
I got to see them play live and I got like fully choked up at their show because I clearly they have many quote unquote influences.
Like, of course, it's not me. It's like there's a lot of other people, too.
But something about just hearing them play stripped down with like bass and guitar and just two vocals in harmony.
I was like, damn, this is amazing.
Like, even if we only contributed a small amount to what they're doing, like this is so tight.
I feel inspired.
Yeah, I saw them at the Echo a year or two ago and I loved it.
Yeah, rad.
It really did bring me back to that dorm room, Fall '95.
If they'd been singing in Spanish, you would have had a full, fully disappeared into your memories.
Full meltdown.
Yeah.
Dear Nora, there's a lot that's changed this year.
I'm still thinking about swimming in Seattle.
And when I got out, I wasn't even cold.
My toes sunk in the squishy ground below.
In SF, we were driving over bridges.
We were singing to a herded through the grapevine.
Cleo was tired.
Harmony was hyper.
We switched driving in the middle of the highway.
So you mentioned how there was a while where you kind of took a break from using the Dear Nora name.
You were still making music, writing songs, releasing music in that time.
What was the impetus to bring back the OG vehicle?
I think that I just had enough separation from it.
I don't know. I just like -- towards the end of my 20s, early 30s, I was like, okay, that's clearly a project that belongs in my 20s.
It's like I'm not finding the things I used to find fun quite as fun anymore.
It feels more like a struggle, like some of that dumb, am I supposed to be turning into an adult kind of bull that comes up.
And so I just was like, let's just leave that band name behind.
Let's leave it with the like terrible 20s.
I think just enough time passed where it didn't trigger like bad feelings in the gut anymore.
It was more like I had enough separation to not just like cringe at every single thing I recorded.
I mean, I still cringe at 75% of it, but --
Yeah, I think that's just so many artists.
Yeah, you need some perspective.
For sure. And the separation did me right.
I took almost 10 years away from it.
Just that name, for whatever that means, whatever the reason, something about the name was I just needed to take a break from it,
whatever that means to other people.
But after a while, it was just a game of like, it doesn't matter anymore.
Most people know that name.
I'm going to make new music.
Let's just use that name.
Especially because people were starting to use that name and reference that name more often.
I'm like, it doesn't matter anymore.
Let's just reach the most people.
Yeah, definitely a lot of separation and letting go to just get back into that name and not worrying about it so much.
♪ Mystery sand wasn't there before ♪
♪ Mystery markings on the rocks ♪
♪ With all the letters of the alphabet ♪
♪ I guessed your height ♪
♪ Midday sun, silent breeze, deep waves rise ♪
♪ But so far away ♪
♪ Black truck, black truck, black truck, black truck, black truck ♪
♪ And I always know the time ♪
♪ 'Cause I belong to the grid ♪
♪ Well, what do you think this means? ♪
♪ You can't read my mind ♪
♪ Midday sun, silent breeze, deep waves rise ♪
♪ But so far away ♪
♪ Black truck, black truck, black truck, black truck, black truck ♪
♪ Mountain of cans, mountain of cans, mountain of shells, shadow of souls ♪
♪ Shots fired ♪
♪ Mountain of cans, mountain of cans, mountain of shells, shadow of souls ♪
♪ Shots fired ♪
♪ Midday sun, silent breeze, deep waves rise ♪
♪ But so far away ♪
♪ Black truck, black truck, black truck, black truck, black truck ♪
I've been immersed in your music the last few days because I made a
Dear Nora career retrospective playlist for the show.
Oh, got it.
And that's gonna be on Apple Music.
Yeah, yeah.
Everybody can check it out.
Yeah.
And it was, and I, it was, God, it's been such a trip going back through this stuff.
I kept it in sort of chronological order because it, I wanted the listener of the
playlist to kind of go on this journey with you from the sort of very sunny,
optimistic kind of power pop early stuff.
And then this sort of organic change gradually happens over the years where
the work becomes more abstract and atmospheric.
And it kind of ends with you going like, "Smells like rain."
And it's a, it's a hell of a journey.
Nice.
You just did a tour, right, of your new record?
Yeah.
Skull's Example.
♪ Skull's Example is my name ♪
Yeah.
Great record.
Thank you.
Yeah, I love, I love this new, I mean, some of your best work.
The guitar playing's insane.
Thanks.
I love all the synth.
I love the beats.
I saw you guys a few months, or like a few weeks ago at the bootleg.
It ruled.
Thank you.
How was the tour?
The tour was really fun.
And the shows, like, we didn't have a dud out of all the shows.
Like, certainly some more were my favorites, but it's honestly just like
kind of fun.
It's sort of fun when you, when you're, when you sort of let go of everything
and it's, it's not your, this isn't my career.
Not, not putting so much stock in it.
It's just like, oh my God, what a novelty.
I'm playing in front of people.
Oh my God, let's have fun.
Like.
Yeah.
Right.
It's crazy.
That's how it's supposed to be.
Exactly.
It's very true.
And there's so many things that are, hold us all back from feeling that way.
So if you can get away, figure out how to get back to it, it's amazing.
Thanks so much for calling in.
Great to have you on the show.
And everybody definitely has to check out Jake's playlist.
Yeah, well, check out my playlist for the deep history of Dear Nora.
But also, first things first, check out Skull's Example.
The new album.
Yeah, which is the new record.
Thank you guys.
All right, Katie.
Yeah, thank you.
Have a great evening.
Yeah, you too.
Talk to you soon.
Okay, bye.
Time Crisis Beats 1.
Simulation feels real, every day.
I look into windows, see the beautiful world from an airplane.
This summer is man-made, but I breathe it in anyway.
I jump in the river.
Last night I watched a movie about the Oregon Trail.
Simulation feels real, see the ranch home where the ranch was.
Drop a pin on it.
Last night I watched a movie about the Oregon Trail.
You know, in light of last week's conversation, or last episode's conversation, we were talking
about how here on Time Crisis, we're getting kind of fed up with the cutesy social media
personalities of what should be faceless corporations.
You know, maybe that's the problem, is that for a long time people would always be railing
against faceless corporations, or destroying our democracy, or taking away our freedom.
And then of course, because this is America, rather than dismantle the faceless corporations,
they're kind of like, "America, we heard you.
No more faceless corporations.
We're going to put a face and a personality on every corporation."
A little window dressing.
Yeah.
Well, you can't call them faceless anymore.
They have an ironic personality now.
You certainly can't call them voiceless.
I guess the thing is, we all live with a lot of daily brutality in America.
And that's why last episode we were talking about this semi-fawning New York Times piece
about the whole IHOP marketing campaign.
And they couldn't even report dispassionate.
They had to kind of be like, "Oh my God, it was a great marketing idea."
And they called it a success, and there wasn't even data to suggest it was a success yet.
And now that we have a little data to suggest that it wasn't a success in terms of getting
butts in the restaurant spending money, I feel like the Times owes us an apology and
retraction.
Yo, we should write a letter to the New York Times about a three-week-old article.
We take issue.
The June 2nd article.
It's one thing when there's just kind of some annoying marketing shit out there in the atmosphere.
But what's really annoying is that when you see people just loving it.
And I came across this article that annoyed me and I had to share with the Crisis Crew.
This is on a website called Board Panda.
I saw that and I was like, "How does Ezra end up on these websites?"
I ended up on Board Panda because I read an article about a French photographer who did
a book about pagan costumes of Europe.
And I'll show it to you because it's unbelievable.
And I think Board Panda is like, I don't know how legit of a site it is.
Clearly on like some Buzzfeed type thing, they're good at getting people to like stay
on and just keep clicking.
I don't know how much original stuff they do, how much editorial oversight there is
over at Board Panda.
But I saw this headline as I was looking at the pagan costumes of Europe and I couldn't
resist a click.
So they got me.
They got you.
They got me.
This is the headline.
"At Walmart, he likes to steal from their stores and their response is so good, people
say they beat Wendy's."
So everything about-
That's TaylorMade for us.
Yeah.
And everything about that, I was just already like so annoyed.
This Board Panda, now the New York Times can buy into I was marketing campaign, but I expect
more from Board Panda.
And it's so funny because it like kind of presupposes that we live in a world where
Wendy's already is the gold standard for a savage social media account.
And so literally the headline, "Oh man, Walmart roasted a guy so good, some people say they
may even be as good as Wendy's, if not better."
And this is the opening sentence.
"We all know Wendy's is really savage on social media, but it seems there's another company
that's equally badass calling Walmart badass."
See, this is what these people dream about, that by having Wendy's or Walmart do something
savage on social media, that one day people will be like, "You know, say what you will
about their labor practices.
Walmart's pretty badass."
They are funny.
They're funny.
Say what you will about what they do to the economies of small towns, but they are funny.
And honestly, if you're going to be real savage on Twitter, you're going to be a little bit
savage in business practices too, and that's okay.
So anyway, Walmart.
Walmart is equally badass.
Recently Twitter user @merc361 challenged the retailer to a word fight on the internet
and it didn't back down.
Word fight.
Not intimidated by an insult that has been liked over 80K times, Walmart answered to
it in the best possible way.
American multinational retail corporation one, random internet user zero.
That about sums it up.
That's, yeah.
Gigantic, brutal corporation one, human being zero.
Savage.
Copy that.
Continue scrolling to read their hilarious exchange.
Well, I'm just going to read it.
You guys don't have to scroll.
Pretend you're scrolling at home.
And there's like a big picture of this random dude, merc361.
That sucks that his photo went out.
I guess he semi brought it upon himself.
That's his user profile.
And he wrote, "I like going to Walmart for fun."
And then Walmart tweeted at him.
A thousand likes on that.
Well, I think that's probably back, back dating on it.
And then Walmart tweeted at him.
It's the small things, merc.
What's your favorite thing to do in our stores?
First of all, they're already setting him up to say some funny shit.
Yeah.
What's your favorite thing to do in our stores?
So they set him up.
I like going to Walmart for fun and they tweeted him.
What's your favorite thing to do in our stores?
And then he writes back, "Steal."
Which is fair.
They set him up.
They set him up for it.
300,000 likes on that.
Got 81K people talking about it.
That's not getting one more customer in the store, by the way.
No.
This is just all noise.
So he tweets that at 5.39 PM, June 20th, 2018.
The next, in the middle of the night, 2.38 AM, nine hours later, under cover of night,
Walmart gets back on the keyboard.
They needed nine hours to think about how to respond to that.
They had to consult with the higher ups.
Yeah.
I bet that's true.
Can you imagine those chains?
We got an epic burn here, but running up the flagpole, make sure we get clearance on that.
Wait, was the family owns Walmart, the Waltons?
Yeah.
This could go all the way to Alice Walton.
Alice is not available, dude.
She's in Vail.
She can't.
The house manager is on the phone.
"Ms. Walton has been asleep for three hours."
And she specifically said that she did not want to be disturbed.
This is urgent.
"I'm Mrs. Walton."
She's like, "Hello?
What's the meaning of this?"
"Ms. Walton, this is the team down at Walmart Social Media.
We got burned pretty bad by a guy named Merc361.
How do we have permission to use lethally savage force?"
Like, "And him."
I'm so curious about the nine hours in between.
The email chains, the frantic phone calls.
Yeah.
I'm sure that it was a big deal, especially Walmart is supposedly family friendly or something.
Kind of like middle America family friendly.
So they're like Wendy's.
Wendy's has already established themselves.
They're punk rock.
They tell people to go fuck themselves.
But Walmart, they're probably right on the line.
They're just like, "Man, we've been burned pretty bad."
It's a little bit like the Drake Pusha T beef.
Apparently, I heard that Drake had a comeback to Pusha T that was so savage, it would have
destroyed Kanye's career, Pusha T's career, and long-term Drake's career.
What?
A true nuclear option.
What?
That's what people say.
How could that possibly be?
I thought about it.
I have my theories.
I don't want to get into it because that's none of my business.
I'm just saying, if there was something so crazy that he had on Kanye, and that apparently
Kanye told Pusha T, "You got to end this."
And then even Drake, when he beheld the awesome power of his savage information, similar to
... What's the guy that worked on the atomic bomb?
Oppenheimer.
Oh, Oppenheimer.
Yeah, it's- Oppenheimer looked and said, "Now I am become
death, destroyer of worlds."
Drake looked at the savage information, which was basically an atomic bomb, and he felt,
he thought of that line, "Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds."
He's Thanos, basically.
He knew, "If I use this information, yes, I will destroy the enemy.
But I'll create a void so crazy that I will be sucked into it too."
Mutually assured destruction.
Yes, the Cold War.
Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds.
The game's fucked up, those beats is banging.
Your hooks did it, the lyric pinning.
Equal to Trump winning.
The bigger question is how the Russians did it.
It was written like Nas, but it came from Quentin.
At the mercy of a game where the codes is missing.
When the CEO's blinded by the glow, it's different.
Believe in myself and the codes and Kendricks.
Let the sock puppets play in they roles and gimmicks.
Remember Will Smith won the first Grammy, and they ain't even recognize Hov and T.O.
Annie.
So I don't tap dance for the crackers and sing Mammy, 'cause I'm posed to juggle these
flows and nose candy.
Yeah.
Ferrari my 40th blew the candles out.
Tom Brady, I had to scramble out.
Baby riding these waves, I pulled my sandals out.
Had they lat in my Grammy, I went the Spanish route.
Oh now it's okay to kill baby.
Looked at me crazy like I really killed a baby.
Salute Ross 'cause the message was pure.
So Walmart was in a similar situation dealing with Merc 361.
Right.
He says.
He says that he likes to steal from Walmart.
That's his favorite thing to do.
Nine hours go by.
It's 2.40 in the morning.
Alice Walton's on the horn.
She gives the go ahead for them to go savage.
Guys, go savage.
Well played Merc.
After further review of our store's video feed, we've decided to let you keep the rash
cream.
Next time though, pay in full.
Winky face emoji.
Boom.
Eat shit Merc.
Yeah.
It would be.
So yeah, they're like, they're running all the numbers.
What can we do here?
Do we tell him to go fuck himself?
Like, no, take the high road.
We're going to say, yeah, okay, we know you stole, but you stole rash cream.
Rash cream.
You have a rash Merc.
Yeah.
I got poison Ivy.
Big deal.
So I got some cortisone cream.
That's how, that's how he should have come back.
It's funny cause it's Walmart.
So they couldn't like a more savage company would have made it like an STD or something.
Or like you got the ED medication, huh?
Right.
It would be very problematic, but there, so this way, or if they just go like way hard,
like very un-PC stuff.
Yeah.
You got that a box of gay pornos, huh?
Right.
Just like, wait, wait, we don't even carry that.
Yeah.
Just like, you know, there's at least some part of just Walmart going full homophobic.
I mean, I'm actually, I'm curious.
Does that happen yet?
Just like, Oh, overstepping.
Well, yeah, like overstepping and just cause obviously we see, we see people do that all
the time.
They think they're being funny and they say something awful, racist or homophobic.
I wonder if that's ever going to happen with like a brand.
No, but the joke is that it's all Ivy league grads running the social media accounts of
these corporations.
They could still maybe do something by accident.
Right.
Wendy's did not know.
Well, hence the nine hours they got to, they got a lawyer up.
Right.
Is there anything racist about telling Merck three 61 that he has a rash?
Is it homophobic?
Is it homophobic to tell Merck three 61 that he has a rash?
Is it Islamophobic?
Is it Islamophobic to tell Merck three 61 that he has a rash?
Yeah.
Just imagine like the conversations and like, there's like 10 people on the Supreme council
of Walmart, nine are in favor.
And one's like, I don't know guys, I think it's a little racist.
God, that would be, I would love just to see one of these companies just like they deserve
to get like real roasted.
Cause that's what the thing, all this, it's like this like fun and games, fake personality
stuff.
Anyway.
So Walmart took their nine hours and they came up with calling it rash cream.
People applauding Walmart for such a savage answer.
Yeah.
To continue with the, Oh, there's like pages of this.
Yeah.
Wow.
So these are some of the tweets that people said LMFAO, at least they have a sense of
humor.
Gotta love Walmart.
When you take a step back, how did we get to this place in our world where say what
you, it literally is a human being saying, say true about Walmart.
They got a sense of humor.
Walmart is funnier than Merck three 61.
You gotta love them.
Somebody else treated, wow.
Walmart is more savage than Wendy's.
And I didn't think that was even possible.
Wendy's is the height of savagery.
Some other ones, he's going to have to steal some burn cream.
Now.
I think the other person said, should have said, we'll let you keep the extra small condoms.
LMA.
Oh, okay.
Yep.
That, you know what?
That's also funny too.
How like not an item that's sold extra small condoms.
I've looked.
Okay.
Also, it's funny too, that like Walmart is like opening it up for like other people to
roast this guy too.
Yeah.
Like Walmart's like, Oh, we just made a joke about a rash.
All that, uh, racist shit down in the bottom.
That's on them.
I can't say I was sad to see it.
Just like at the end of the day, Walmart is engaging in this like larger conversation.
Oh, Walmart, social media manager bringing the heat.
They should do a collab with Wendy's.
Oh, here's another one.
Holy shit, man.
I love it when corporations take the shit in full and swing it back.
It's hilarious.
Woo.
Anyway, just like the whole tone of this article, just like boys, we didn't think anyone
could be as savage as Wendy's, but now I got Walmart and I, whatever, I guess people feel
that way.
I'd like to follow up with Merc three 61 and see how he feels about the whole thing.
We should have him call in.
Hey, can we get Merc three 61 on the horn?
Maybe next time.
Just talking about this two months later, maybe bored pandas secretly owned by Walmart
or like, Oh, that'd be hilarious.
False flag Walmart operation.
It's possible though.
Walmart.
I also remember last time we were looking at the YouTube comments for the Hardee's commercial.
Oh yeah.
And our friend was saying that she thought that a bunch of the comments might've been
from right.
People who worked for the brand.
So it's also hilarious to, to imagine that Walmart has like a troll farm basically, that
every time they tweet something, they might have a hundred accounts that they're also
running people just being like, Holy shit, that's so savage.
Not only do you have great deals, you've earned this shit out of that piece of shit.
Or dude, maybe Merc was false flag.
He was, he was working for Walmart the whole time, dude.
That's some Alex Jones stuff right there.
They like, they planned the whole narrative.
I've seen the documents.
Yeah.
Because that, you know, that's true.
If you really want to win people over, nobody likes just a big corporation.
That's, you know, destroying local economies, not giving people a health insurance.
People only like you when you've been on the ropes once or twice.
America loves like a, a comeback story.
You know, it's like Donald Trump.
That's why he's going to win in 2020.
Oh no, don't say that.
But it's like if people, if people had really, that's why I like a lot of, a lot of lefties
are pulling their hair out.
Just being kind of like, how do you not see that this dude is the epitome of what nobody
likes.
He's a rich guy.
He got a million dollars from his dad.
He pulls strings for himself.
He's the swamp.
How do people not see it?
And it's because he crafted his little wrestling esque narrative about him being the Avenger
and a man I've had it bad too.
And Oh my God, I look at these people and boy, I built my own thing.
I'm just like you people like somebody that they think has been up and down a little bit.
So Walmart is like, we need to, we need to drop some savagery on people, but we need
to make it right.
It needs to be, we need to be in the right.
We need a heroic moment.
We need to be aggrieved.
Right.
We were just trying to be sweet to Merc 361.
Then he tells us he steals.
Well, nobody likes a thief, dude.
That's my call inside job from the get.
Wow.
But it was, but there was a picture of Merc 361.
There's like a real thing.
You see, they might've had to disappear.
The original guy.
They killed a dude.
They killed a dude just for retweets.
Worth it.
Good Lord.
Alice Walton cleared it.
I'm tired of hearing that Wendy's is more savage than us.
No mistake. No mistake. No mistake. No mistake. No mistake. No mistake. No mistake. No mistake.
The top off.
Let the sun come in.
Whoa.
For all my dogs that stay down.
We up again.
Oh, I got dirt on my name.
I got white on my beer.
I had dead on my books.
It's been a shaky air.
Dear.
Let me make this clear.
So all y'all see, I don't take advice from people that successful to me.
Ain't no love loss, but the gloves off and we have been as today.
Turn the club off.
Had to tell the dogs.
Turn the snubs off.
Plus, they are already mad that the cubs lost.
These two wrongs are right.
You believe it or not.
I was too grown in high school.
The true soul of ice cube too close to snipe you.
Truth told.
I like you too bold to type you too rich to fight you.
Calm down your nice skin!
Make no mistake, girl I still love you
Make no mistake, girl I still love you
Make no mistake, girl I still love you
Make no mistake, girl I still love you
Make no mistake, girl I still love you
Make no mistake, girl I still love you
On the lighter side, let's dig into the old mailbag. We get so many good emails.
Can't get to all of them. We can't get to all of them. Some of them are very touching.
We get some very touching ones and in fact, we got a sweet email recently from a guy named
Kevin Eskowitz and the subject was a very sweet chilly heat wedding. This is touching because
as time crisis starts really getting up there, we've been around for a minute,
there truly is a, you know, a crew. We've been going on three years.
That's wild. I think we started August of 15. This is episode 71, man.
Deep. So this is an email from Kevin.
Let's go to the time crisis mailbag.
Greetings Ezra Jake and our fellow TC listeners. I wanted to share my TC love story. A little over
10 years ago at college in DC, I met the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. We started dating
a bit later and Vampire Weekend's debut served as a soundtrack to that beautiful college romance.
2008, man. That was a good era. As things go, she went abroad and we took a break and life got in
the way. After graduation, she moved to New York and I went to LA. Classic. It's already a rom-com.
After a few years of growing up in different cities, we reconnected from across the country.
We fell back in love and decided to really go for it. A year later, she decided to take the leap and
move to LA for me, but she was an East Coast gal living that East Coast life and I knew it would
take some convincing for her to really come around to this place. Like many who have taken the same
journey, she hated the fact that she had to drive everywhere and it made her feel disconnected from
the city and its people. It's tough. I still mourn for the East Coast. Gotta get over there more.
Not me.
You're never looking back.
Nope. Don't mind driving either. I'd rather sit in traffic than on a subway.
Wow.
Straight up.
Jake's takes on time crisis.
I mean, that makes me a bastard.
It took some time for her to warm up, but nothing helped her to embrace this city
more than our Sundays driving around town and cleaning up the house alongside the crisis crew.
Wow.
There you did help convert somebody, Jake. We are that classic TC couple.
I love that. Classic TC couple. Grabbing some fresh produce at the farmer's market,
stopping in at Home Depot and doing some laundry while learning about the tasteful
palate of the 70s and starbucking. We gotta get winter back on.
Let's check in with winter next episode.
Two Sundays ago, we were lucky enough to catch the Vampire Weekend Richard Pictures
show at the Livvy Bowl and got to drive back home with a brand new TC on.
Well, that's full.
That's a hell of a Sunday. That's a hell of a Father's Day.
That's full integration.
Yeah.
Both bands.
Yeah.
Jake's Grateful Dead cover band, Vampire Weekend, and then another two hour radio program.
If we ever do another...
We're dick.
Another kind of like Richard Pictures, Vampire Weekend, weekend kind of thing.
We have to.
We could. I mean, I do have a vision for it. It was such a smashing success the first time that
we kind of start adding auxiliary events. We could do a live time crisis.
Love it.
Seinfeld 2000 holds a high stakes poker match.
T-shirt raffle.
Something.
Yeah. Maybe Friday night. I'm trying to think.
Maybe it's three shows, dude.
We could do.
Yeah. Friday, Saturday night and Sunday morning.
Yeah.
Back at the Libby Bowl, like next summer.
Maybe we get Alanis to come through.
Now you're talking.
Jamie Foxx, friend of the show.
Yeah, get Jamie on the horn.
He's a great musician.
Oh, I'm aware.
Who knows? He's a born performer. I've witnessed him, you know,
turn a dead party into something really exciting.
I wonder if Jamie Foxx remembers our episode with him. I'm going to say no.
Yeah, it's hard to say.
He's never thought about it since. Let me put it that way.
If someone reminded him of like about three years ago,
you went to that little recording studio on Coanga or whatever it was.
And the guy from Vampire Weekend was there.
He might remember.
He'd be like, oh, yeah.
Right. It's not like. Yeah.
Yeah.
He probably hasn't had reason to bring it up.
I remember. I remember there was a warm
Modelo sitting in front of him and he cracked.
He looked at it like he'd never seen a Modelo before and then cracked it.
Took one sip and made the funniest face like this is the most disgusting thing, which is true.
You can't blame him.
Room temperature Modelo is disgusting.
And then you just like sat it down on the table, like far away from him.
And you didn't go up to him later, say,
Jamie, I couldn't help but notice you didn't enjoy the warm Modelo.
I'm with you.
On the temperature.
On the temperature issue ever.
Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.
Can I offer you a nice cold one?
Somehow that wasn't the vibe.
Get Dear Nora to come through.
Jamie Foxx, Seinfeld 2000, Alain.
Who else have we had on the show?
Dev, Dev Hines.
Oh, the guy that wrote the curb theme.
The guy that wrote the Seinfeld theme.
Oh, T-Pain.
Oh, T-Pain.
That could be crazy.
Another weekend in Ojai.
That'd be pretty tight.
We gotta get Mayer on the show, dude.
Yeah, I bet we could.
John Mayer's Instagram is hilarious.
Do you follow him?
Yes.
Really?
Hannah got me really into his Instagram.
He's like legitimately funny.
Even though you don't respect his lyricism?
I don't.
I'm not a big fan of his music,
but I think he is like a very self-aware funny dude.
He does seem self-aware.
Yeah.
Maybe I'll bless him with a follow.
Jake leaving comments.
John, although your lyricism is still lacking.
Tone is fairly solid.
John, I gave your tone an eight,
your lyricism a four,
but your Instagram humor a ten.
Keep rocking, buddy.
What, John, what you lack...
John, what you lack in guitar lyricism,
you make up for in wry Instagram humor.
So anyway, back to the email.
Oh, yeah.
That's a hell of a day.
They caught that daytime vampire RP show,
drove back with some TC on.
It was on that drive while tuning in,
we decided to send this email.
By the time the next show airs,
we'll be married and on our way to a new life together
with hopefully multiple fridges in our future home.
We're doing the damn thing out in Malibu this Saturday.
Wow.
Oh, wow.
They're married now.
After we say I do and I stomp on that glass,
a Jewish wedding,
M79 will play during the recessional.
Nice.
That's one of Jake's top...
Yep.
That's a top 10 for me.
That's top 10?
That may be my favorite on that first record.
On the first one?
That and Kids Don't Stand a Chance.
Did you catch it live in Ojai?
Oh, yeah.
With that, we got that new clav intro.
It's a little funkier.
Will wearing the bucket hat.
Old bucket hat.
Crushing it.
It's gonna take a little time.
While you're waiting like a factory line.
I'll ride across the park.
Backseat on the 79.
Wasted days you come to pass.
So go, I know you would not stay.
It wasn't true, but anyway.
I'm gonna meet you, yellow cat.
You walk up the stairs.
See the French kids by the door.
Up one more flight.
See the boot on the second floor.
Cause a nation to rip the shark trap.
So go, I know you would not stay.
It wasn't true, but anyway.
Racist dreams you should not hide.
No excuse to be so careless.
Dress yourself in bleeding mattress.
Charm your way across the Kyber Pass.
Stay awake to break the habit.
Singing praise of Jackson Crowder.
Watch your step along the archer.
No excuse to be so careless.
Dress yourself in bleeding mattress.
Charm your way across the Kyber Pass.
Stay awake to break the habit.
Singing praise of Jackson Crowder.
Watch your step along the archer.
Time Crisis.
So they're gonna play M79 You're in the Recessional
and then go straight into my TC-inspired playlist for the cocktail hour.
Ooh, I wonder what that playlist is.
I bet it, I bet they probably pull from your Tasteful 70s palette playlist.
Speaking of, did you notice in Ojai during all of the...
Oh, they played it.
Yeah, they were playing the Tasteful palette playlist.
Was that your call?
That was my call.
Nice, dude.
Because that's one of the things that I always forget about.
I always have these like grand visions about what type of music to play in between shows
and then almost always it's like I'm stressed out and like warming up and somebody's like,
"Oh, do you know what you wanted to play?"
Right.
And so then I was like, "Oh, Jake's Tasteful palette playlist."
And then actually, sidebar, your road manager, Brian,
had me make a playlist for the Santa Ana shows.
Oh.
Don't know if you noticed it.
No, well...
It was a similar theme.
I'm always like...
I got you.
Cloistered away, warming up and inhaling steam and all the things I do before a show.
Meditating.
Meditating before the show.
But I was up in one of the backstage rooms at the observatory and through the floorboards,
I could kind of hear two big star songs in a row and I wondered.
Okay.
I don't even remember, but yeah.
Was there a big star on it?
I'm sure there was.
Yes.
Anyway, they say, "Thanks for always riding shotgun on our Sundays.
Much love, Kevin and Betsy."
Well...
Hell of an email.
Hell of an email.
We kind of...
I mean, I don't know if I'm reading between the lines too much,
but it sounds like Time Crisis saved their marriage.
Created their marriage.
Two people coming back together, making the big leap move in LA, not feeling it.
TC is the glue.
That Sunday glue.
Listening live together is strong.
Yeah, I'm into that.
TC couples.
Love these kind of emails.
If you got any kind of TC situation...
And like we said, it doesn't have to be a romantic relationship.
It could just be friends.
Just a group of friends who come together to listen to live internet radio.
Honestly, I wish I had that in my own life.
I wish there was a...
What's the Time Crisis for me that I could listen to?
Howard.
Howard.
I guess it's cool that this show is on a Sunday.
I never really thought about it that much.
Yeah.
It gives it a different kind of energy.
Yeah, imagine if this show just aired 9pm on Tuesdays.
Wouldn't seem as special.
This is a Sunday afternoon show.
Anyway, shout out to Kevin and Betsy and congrats on your nuptials.
Won't you let me walk you home from school?
Won't you let me meet you at the pool?
Maybe Friday I can get tickets for the dance.
And I'll take you home.
Won't you tell your dad to get off my back?
Tell him what we said about painted black.
Rock and roll is here to stay.
Come inside when it's okay.
I'll shake you.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Won't you tell me what you're thinking of?
Would you be an outlaw for my love?
If it's so, let me know.
If it's done, well, I can go.
I won't make you.
Ooh.
All right, it's time to get in the top five.
It's time for the top five on iTunes.
Okay, so this week on the Time Crisis, top five.
This is a complicated one.
It is a little complex.
So everybody at home, I want you to grab a pencil and paper
and chart this thing out.
We're not doing our usual just top five songs on iTunes versus Billboard of the past.
We're looking at two different lists of summer songs.
Because summer solstice has happened last week, right?
Because we're officially in summer.
Can you believe it?
No, I can't.
The year's half over.
It's insane.
That's crazy.
I don't like that.
We're comparing a Billboard list of the songs of the summer.
And this is Billboard kind of speculating based on radio airplay, sales data, blah, blah, blah.
What they think the songs of this summer are.
Whoa.
So they're okay.
So it's a Billboard list of this speculative songs of this summer.
Kind of jumping the gun.
Well, that's what we do on the clickbait economy.
Okay.
Billboard's calling it.
I don't know if I like it.
There's songs that are going to come out next week.
Billboard's calling it now.
Oh, Drake.
Cool.
I'm already negative about it.
Then we're going to compare that to Rolling Stone.
Yeah.
Who has their list of just the top five songs of all time.
So in a way, we're still-
Summer songs.
Summer songs.
We are comparing old and new again.
Okay.
So according to Rolling Stone, the number five summer song of all time,
Rockaway Beach by the Ramones.
Okay.
I always like this song.
Five seems a little high.
Yeah.
I mean, I love the Ramones.
I would have thought this would have been like 25.
I mean, Rolling Stone is a very rock-oriented publication.
I haven't heard the Ramones in a minute.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe it's time-
Rock, rock away beach.
Did they do a record with Bill Spector?
Is this on that record?
No.
I like that.
Yeah.
Rock, rock, rock away beach.
We can hitch a ride to Rockaway Beach.
I feel like right now, that kind of like early punk is not very fashionable.
It's not?
No.
You don't hear people talking about the Ramones anymore.
Really?
I feel like they're kind of evergreen.
No, I think so.
Like the Beatles or something.
Like it's all, there's always someone that's into that stuff, right?
I hope so.
My brother's first show was the Ramones.
Really?
You took him?
No, I didn't take him.
My dad took him.
I might've been out of the house at that point.
I might've been in college, but I remember my brother was obsessed with the Ramones
and they were opening for White Zombie.
Oh, I like White Zombie.
In Hartford, Connecticut.
And so my dad took my brother and he, yeah, he must've been like 13
and they watched like a 40 minute Ramones set.
And then bounced.
Missed opportunity to see more human than human live.
I like White Zombie.
Dave regrets that to this day.
I'm sure he does.
As does my dad.
Dad was like, Dave, let's get the f*** out of here, man.
White Zombie sucks.
Come on, dad.
And then like four years later, my dad's like, you know what?
I like some of the Rob Zombie solo stuff.
I ended up getting into Rob Zombie a little later.
White Zombie.
Rob and White.
And I kind of regret walking out of that show now.
Yeah, you know, the Dragula by Rob Zombie.
Yeah, you know what?
I'll admit I went back to some of the White Zombie stuff.
It was cool, man.
It's pretty cool.
Hell of a director too.
Actually got into him via the film side.
The number five song, according to Billboard for the Song of the Summer,
is Lucid Dreams by Juice WRLD.
Juice WRLD?
Yeah.
That's a dope name.
It's Juice and then WRLD is all caps W-R-L-D.
Yeah, Juice WRLD is, I don't know if people still call it like SoundCloud rap,
but this is like a very big rapper kind of coming out of the modern internet environment.
Okay.
Very popular.
Real into juicing.
I guess so.
Juice WRLD kind of could have been an indie band back in the day.
Oh, totally.
I mean, my immediate association-
Hi, we're Juice WRLD.
Thanks for coming out tonight.
Thanks for coming out.
This one's called Kale, Carrot, and Apple.
Or they would be like, I could totally picture like an early 2000s indie band called Juice
WRLD and then they have a song called Juice WRLD.
Hi, we're Juice WRLD.
This song's Juice WRLD.
Juice WRLD.
It's kind of awkward harmonies.
What?
Cool fantasy.
Juice WRLD.
50s chord progression.
Juice WRLD.
Juice WRLD.
Juice WRLD.
Maybe that should be on the next Vampire Weekend album.
My immediate thought was he's talking about juicing fruits and vegetables,
but then I was thinking maybe he's talking roids.
I have a feeling it's neither, but I like the roids concept.
Neither?
What else could it be?
I mean-
It could be anything.
Does anybody know what Juice WRLD references?
Okay.
So we just got some info that originally he was called Juice the Kid
and calling yourself Juice is classic.
You don't need to explain that.
Juice is a positive thing.
It's classic?
That's OJ.
Right.
Called him Juice.
And like Juice is generally whatever slang version you use, it's like a positive thing.
Chromio song, you got the juice.
I just think it was David Schwimmer going, "Juice!"
Wait, what is that from Friends?
No, from the OJ show.
Oh, oh, David Schwimmer as Robert Kardashian.
Juice!
Oh, Juice, no!
Juice!
So anyway, Juice the Kid.
So he was Juice the Kid and then he kind of got classed it up and called Juice WRLD.
With a little more modern.
All right, cool.
Anyway-
Let's listen to the song.
This is a record from 2001 by Juice WRLD.
A little indie outfit out of upstate New York.
♪ If you're not on a mix ♪
Oh yeah, I know this song.
That's a Sting sample from "Shape of My Heart."
Big year for Sting.
Got that Shaggy album plus this, he's cleaning up.
♪ I still see your shadows in my room ♪
♪ Can't take back the love that I gave you ♪
♪ It's to the point where I love and I hate you ♪
♪ And I cannot change you so I must replace you ♪
♪ Oh, easier said than done ♪
♪ I thought you were the one listening to my heart ♪
♪ Instead of my head ♪
♪ You found another one but I am the better one ♪
♪ I won't let you forget me ♪
♪ I still see your shadows in my room ♪
♪ Can't take back the love that I gave you ♪
♪ It's to the point where I love and I hate you ♪
♪ And I cannot change you so I must replace you ♪
♪ Oh, easier said than done ♪
♪ I thought you were the one listening to my heart ♪
♪ Instead of my head ♪
♪ You found another one but I am the better one ♪
♪ I won't let you forget me ♪
♪ You left me falling in love ♪
- Kind of in. - You're in?
- I don't see how it's a summer song really, but it's a...
- You're allowed to be depressed in the summer.
- Yeah, okay. - Summer heartbreak.
- That's true. - Rich girl at the country club.
- Oof. - Doesn't give you the time of day
because you're just the waiter.
- Oh man. Okay, you just painted a picture.
- Caddy shack.
♪ I have been losing dreams ♪
- Caddy at the local country club
to pay your way through college.
- The Amazon show, Red Oaks.
- Right, yeah, it's such a classic concept.
Rich girl breaks your heart.
How come there's never a rich guy
breaking the working class girl's heart?
♪ Now I'm just battered ♪
- That's kind of... - It was at Molly Ringwald's
movies, kind of like that.
♪ I'll do it over again ♪
I like this dude's voice. He's a little pop punk.
But not as nasally. Yeah, just a very small...
[Humming]
[Laughing]
You made my heart ache You made my heart break
You made my heart ache You made my heart break
You made my heart ache You made my heart break again
I still see your shadows in my room Can't take back the love that I gave you
It's to the point where I love and I hate you And I cannot change you so I must replace
you
Easier said than done I thought you were the one
Listening to my heart instead of my head You found another one but I am the better
one I won't let you forget me
I still see your shadows in my room Can't take back the love that I gave you
It's to the point where I love and I hate you
And I cannot change you so I must replace you Easier said than done I thought you were
the one Listening to my heart instead of my head
You found another one but I am the better one I won't let you forget me
Shout out to Juice WRLD.
I mean, that's pretty d-- Rockaway Beach vs. Lucid Dreams by Juice WRLD.
That's a toss up.
Very, I mean, totally, depends.
It depends on whether the rich girl broke your heart or not.
Number four on the Rolling Stone list, California Girls by The Beach Boys.
Okay.
Kind of foreshadowing head sounds here.
Yeah, this is pretty intricate.
It was like saxophones harmonizing or whatever that is.
Yeah, now it kind of, yeah.
Mike Love.
Coast girls are hip.
Dig those styles they wear.
And the southern girls with the way they talk, they knock me out when I'm down there.
The Midwest farms are built.
Pretty weak song.
You know, I've never really analyzed this song, but it's funny that he's like, "Shh."
The northern girls?
Yeah, it was like Minnesota?
Like Game of Thrones?
We're just here.
I wish they all could be California girls.
The west coast has the sunshine and the girls are the sunshine.
The west coast has the sunshine and the girls are the sunshine.
I've been all around this great big world and I've seen all kind of girls.
Yeah, but I couldn't wait to get back in the states and back to the cutest girls in the world.
I wish they all could be California.
I wish they all could be California.
I wish they all could be California girls.
Is he saying, wait, yeah, I don't understand.
Beat or be?
I wish they could all could be California.
Beat?
Yeah, like.
I wish they all could be California girls.
For the longest time I thought it was beat.
Like, I wish, like in a way it was almost like a generous sentiment.
Like, I wish they could all measure up.
I mean, it's kind of the same sentiment, really.
You mean he's.
I don't know why I thought it was beat.
Like, I wish they could all top California girls.
Wait, actually, I want to check because I just realized I don't know what this song's really about.
I wish they could all be California girls.
Because the west coast has the sunshine and the girls all get so tan.
I dig a French bikini.
On Hawaii Island?
Is that what it is?
Dolls by a palm tree in the sun.
Oh, wait, hold on.
We got to break this song down.
Verse one.
See, this is what's funny.
He basically.
Here we go, 20 minutes.
Yeah, we're about to do a whole 20.
We're going to need to preempt the next show.
Push into hour three.
This is going to be a four hour TC.
So the first verse of this is east coast girls are hip.
I really dig those styles they wear.
And then he lists all these other girls and how great they are.
Southern girls with the way they talk, they knock me out when I'm down there.
Like southern accents.
So he's just saying all these girls are great.
And then with no transition, so like it ends,
and the northern girls with the way they kiss,
they keep their boyfriends warm at night.
And then just hard change.
I wish they all could be California girls.
It's like there's not.
In another song, then there would be like a pre-chorus.
Right.
Where it's kind of like however great all these girls are,
I'm a California boy.
And so it's just like this weird hard cut where you're just like --
Well, it's concise, man.
We understand the logic.
Okay.
But is it so clear?
It's not as clear as it seems.
Think about it.
This is probably like 17-year-old dudes writing a song.
[Laughter]
But here's my question.
When you list all these great girls around the country,
he doesn't have a bad word to say about them.
They're all great.
And then he says, "I wish they all could be California girls."
Is he saying that California girls are better than them?
Or is he saying that I wish when I go around the country
and I see these other great types of girls,
I'm blown away by how amazing they are.
But because they don't live in California, they don't exist to me.
I wish that these hip East Coast girls --
They could all move there.
I wish they could all move to California.
Is that what he's saying?
No.
So what's he saying?
I understand the logic of what you're saying,
and it sort of relates to what I thought it was for years,
which I wish they could all beat California girls.
Right.
Because he loves the Midwest farmer's daughter.
She makes him feel all right.
Son, I wish I could accept you at this university,
but your grades just are not up to snuff.
That's what he's kind of saying?
Yeah.
So he's saying--
That's the implication.
All around this country I've met so many amazing girls,
and here's some of the great things I've learned about them.
It's like "The Bachelor."
However, at the end of the day, I'm giving my rose to California girls
because of the rest of you.
That's what he's saying?
Yes.
I think he's saying that he wishes that California would encompass the entire U.S.
Oh, wow.
I don't know about that.
Or maybe it's like a Romeo and Juliet thing.
Maybe his dad's real conservative, doesn't like him dating outside California.
This is why the song has legs.
It's a truly mysterious chorus.
My family--
Wish they could all be California girls.
The Wilson family's been in California for over 32 years.
We have deep roots here,
and if my father caught me necking with a hippies coast girl,
he would beat the shit out of me.
I'm sorry.
It's not right, but that's just how it has to be.
I can only date a California girl.
I wish you could be.
Well, I can be a California girl, Brian.
All I have to do is move.
It's the same country.
Doesn't count.
Nope.
My family doesn't recognize conversions.
The West Coast has the sunshine.
Is there anything else to this?
And the girls.
Yeah, there's no more information.
I guess then at the end he says,
I've been all around this great big world, and I've seen all kinds of girls.
But I couldn't wait to get back to the states,
back to the cutest girls in the world.
But see, again, now he's saying American girls are cuter than the rest of the world?
Imagine if there was an extended version
where he's talking about French girls and Italian girls.
There's that Rick Nelson song "Traveling Man" that's in that vein.
Rough stuff.
The number four song on the Billboard list of the potential songs of the summer.
Potential?
That's the best list.
No surprise here, Drake, "God's Plan."
This came out in like February or something.
Yeah, this song is--
Not a song.
--not losing steam by now.
It already peaked.
[MUSIC - DRAKE, "GOD'S PLAN"]
(SINGING) Yeah.
I've been moving calm, don't start no trouble with me.
Trying to keep it peaceful is a struggle for me.
I wonder if Mike Gloves heard this.
Don't pull up at 6 AM to cuddle with me.
You know how I like it when you loving on me.
I don't want a God for them to miss me.
Yes, I see the things that they wishing on me.
Hope I got some brothers that'll live me.
They gon' tell the story what's different with me.
God's plan.
I hold back sometimes I won't.
I feel good sometimes I don't.
I finesse down Western road like this.
Might go down to GOD.
I go hard on Southside G.
I make sure that Northside heat.
And still.
Drake did a lot more nuanced talk
about life and relationships than California girls.
How old is Drake, you think, like 30?
Yeah.
OK.
Beach Boys were like 17, 18.
When they wrote California Girls.
Maybe 20.
[LAUGHTER]
The number three song on Rolling Stone's list--
The West Coast girls.
East Coast girls are hip.
The number three song on the Rolling Stone list--
Alice Cooper, "School's Out."
OK, kind of a weird choice.
[MUSIC - ALICE COOPER, "SCHOOL'S OUT"]
Very on the nose here.
[MUSIC - ALICE COOPER, "SCHOOL'S OUT"]
This is just hilarious.
Like '70s hard rock.
Like Led Zeppelin writing about hobbits.
And Black Savages being about the meaninglessness of life.
And just brutal satanic shit.
Alice Cooper's music.
School sucks.
[MUSIC - ALICE COOPER, "SCHOOL'S OUT"]
This song is a good arrangement.
I like the transition into the chorus really well.
Yeah, the chorus is dope.
[MUSIC - ALICE COOPER, "SCHOOL'S OUT"]
[MUSIC - ALICE COOPER, "SCHOOL'S OUT"]
[MUSIC - ALICE COOPER, "SCHOOL'S OUT"]
[MUSIC - ALICE COOPER, "SCHOOL'S OUT"]
[MUSIC - ALICE COOPER, "SCHOOL'S OUT"]
[MUSIC - ALICE COOPER, "SCHOOL'S OUT"]
Bass player is tight in this song.
Were there teenagers in the '70s just
like dead ass listening to "School's Out" just at home,
just like super serious, just like headphones on,
and you're like, oh, god, I fucking hate school.
I can't wait for summer.
Just like finally somebody's telling it like it is.
Yes.
Just like super serious.
Yes.
I guess that makes sense.
I mean, it's like Alice Cooper has a whimsical take on "School's
Out."
The number three song on the Billboard list,
Cardi B, Bad Bunny, and J Balvin, "I Like It."
Have you heard this one, Jake?
I don't know.
[MUSIC - ALICE COOPER, "I LIKE IT"]
Another big hit for Cardi B.
You probably remember--
This has a real summer feel to it.
Remember?
You remember from the '90s?
I like it like that.
Oh, yeah, kind of.
Now, I like dollars, I like diamonds.
I like stunning, I like shining.
I like million dollar deals.
Where's my pen?
Bitch, I'm signing.
I like those Balenciagas, the ones that look like socks.
I like going to the chula.
I put rocks all in my watch.
I like sexes from my exes when they want a second chance.
I like grooving, warm.
I do what they say I can't.
They call me Cardi, party, dang it, body, spicy, mommy,
hot tamale, hotter than a sauce, Molly, burn, cold, burn,
worry.
Hop off the stool, jump in the coupe,
big dip on top of the roof, best in them
[BLEEP] as hard as I can, eating halal, driving a Lam.
So that [BLEEP] I'm sorry, though.
Rock my coins like Mario.
Yeah, they call me Cardi B. I run this [BLEEP] like cardio.
I'm a district in the chain.
It's infectious.
Oh, he's so handsome.
What's his name?
I need the dollars to change.
Beat it up like piñata.
Bad chicks make you nervous.
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
How's your Spanish, Jake?
Not solid.
Have you studied it?
I took it for years, probably eight years.
Can you get anything out of it?
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
Oh, viva la raza.
That's--
What does that mean?
--a familiar phrase.
Like viva la raza, like la raza referring to the people.
Long live the race.
Sounds a little scary when you say it in English.
That's not a phrase you want to hear in English.
A couple white guys on the mic, long live the race.
Yeah, you don't want to hear that.
But viva la raza, you see that here and there.
I can't follow Spanish at all when it's spoken.
What about when it's sung or rapped?
Even less so.
Even less so?
You know why?
They don't enunciate.
You got to enunciate.
I feel like Spanish rappers enunciate even more.
Do they?
Like, I don't understand Spanish at all.
But I feel like when I listen to Spanish music,
it's like the language that I feel like I, in some weird way,
follow.
When I hear a story song, I almost
feel like just through the emotion of the vocal,
I can follow it a little bit.
You studied French.
I studied French.
Big mistake.
I like it.
I mean, I don't know.
That might be my pick for song of the summer.
It's just plain fun.
I was actually thinking about it, because like--
It's just plain fun.
I just always hear that in Ubers.
It's just-- it's good, clean fun.
I always hear it in Ubers.
And actually, the thing--
Cardi B's songs, there's always these little lines that
just stick with you.
They're very sticky.
In fact, before the show, for whatever reason,
I had one of the lines that said,
I like Texas from my exes when they want a second chance.
Also, some of the lyrics in this,
almost nobody else could pull off besides Cardi B.
As we said on the show, she's incredibly charismatic.
It's just fun to hear her.
And for instance, she goes, he's so handsome.
What's his name?
Like, that line is right on the border
of being super corny, but also kind of cute and fun.
There's other people who would have that line
and would just be like, ugh.
Right.
But with Cardi B, she brings that playfulness,
but she's also kind of tough.
She's got it all.
He's so handsome.
What's his name?
Taylor would have a tough time pulling that one off.
He's so handsome.
What's his name?
Yeah, the--
Name.
What's his name?
Well, Taylor, his name is Jordan.
[LAUGHTER]
He's so handsome.
What's his name?
[LAUGHTER]
Everybody finds their own voice one way or another.
The number two song on the Rolling Stone list--
The Rolling Stone list is kind of boring, I got to admit.
I think the Billboard list is just more interesting.
The number two-- I guess because Rolling Stone
was just trying to be like, a song that's explicitly
about summer.
Right, let's not--
They weren't just kind of going for like, yeah,
songs that came out in the summer that give you
an oblique summer vibe.
"Summertime Blues" by Eddie Cochran.
Oh, wow, this is real.
I mean, it's a good song.
[MUSIC - EDDIE COCHRAN, "SUMMERTIME BLUES"]
What year is this?
That's a good question.
(SINGING) Well, I'm a gonna raise a fuss.
I'm a gonna raise a holler.
About a working old summer just to try to earn a dollar.
Girl, every time I call my baby, try to get a date.
My boss says--
(SINGING) --you gotta work late.
Sometimes I wonder what I'm a gonna do,
but there ain't no cure for the summertime.
This is a good song.
You can't deny it.
Yeah, it's dope.
This was on the La Bamba soundtrack, which
was a big sound-- like, tape in our household, circa '87, '88.
Los Lobos covered all these old--
Oh, yeah, like La Bamba.
Yeah, Buddy Holly songs, Big Bopper songs.
This was on there.
(SINGING) Oh, well, I didn't go to work for the boss I was--
I associate this song with--
(SINGING) --can't use a car 'cause you didn't work or live.
My dad getting a speeding ticket one time.
Really?
We were in his Honda, and he was just like,
tearing ass, blasting--
Blasting this?
Blasting the La Bamba soundtrack.
Got pulled over.
Take it.
10-year-old son in the front seat.
(SINGING) --two weeks, gonna have a fine vacation.
Da-na-na-na.
(SINGING) I'm gonna take my problem
to the United Nations.
United Nations.
Actually, that part always made a big impression on me.
I just remember, like, listening to this random-ass song,
where the guy's just like, I gotta work all summer.
It sucks.
I do this and that.
It sucks.
And then he's like, I'm going to the United Nations.
It's like, OK.
This guy's ambitious.
Take it there, dude.
(SINGING) I'm gonna take my problem
to the United Nations.
Solid song.
The number two song on the speculative billboard list,
Post Malone's "Psycho."
This is a big song.
I've been hearing this a lot.
God, all the tones on these newer songs are hilarious.
Just these direct-input synth pads.
(SINGING) --psycho, the one who bad like Michael.
Can't really touch nobody.
This has that sort of new age--
Oh, yeah.
It's an interesting tone.
--sauna-- ambient music in a sauna palette.
You know, it's funny.
I was actually-- I was getting a ride back
from the Santa Ana show.
We were listening to that song.
My boy Brian was driving.
And he said, I understand the whole chorus,
except for one line.
OK.
And it's-- I'll play it again.
(SINGING) --bad like Michael.
Can't really trust nobody with all this jewelry on you.
My roof look like an on show.
Got diamonds by the port.
Look--
This is the verse or the chorus?
That's the chorus.
It's one of these classic kind of long--
Right.
So he says, got diamonds by the boatload.
That's not hard to understand.
That's a lot of diamonds.
He said-- and he says, come with the Tony Romo.
(SINGING) --come with the Tony Romo for closing all the doors.
Come with the Tony Romo.
The QB?
Yeah.
Not Tony Romo's.
The chain restaurant.
Because that's with an A, Roma.
Yeah, Tony Romo's.
OK, yeah.
It's like an Olive Garden.
Actually, I've never really been there.
I've always been confused by that,
because I wondered if Tony Romo started it,
because football players often start,
like, that type of restaurant.
I think it was around before his career was really--
Right, yeah, it's older.
No, so he's talking about the football player.
So I looked it up for my friend, because I
didn't have the answer.
He comes with the Tony Romo to deal with the bozos.
That's pushing it.
This is what it says on the internet.
Well, and also Post Malone grew up in Texas.
Diehard Dallas Cowboys fan, which is the team that I
believe Tony Romo played for.
I guess so.
Yeah, confirmed.
You listen to Time Crisis Sports Talk.
Who did Tony Romo play for again?
The Dallas Mavericks?
Cowboys, I mean.
Cool joke.
We got Phil calling in from Houston.
Today we're talking about-- we're talking about the
upcoming football season.
The question of the day is, what team did Tony Romo play for?
We're trying to get to the bottom of this.
Phil, you got any insight?
OK, Phil's saying Dallas Cowboys.
Not sure about that one, but anyway.
Back to the phones.
Back to the phones.
Just like do a really serious sports talk radio show where
we're just asking real questions about what really is a touchdown.
I mean, we're all football fans.
We think we know what a touchdown is, but how would you define it?
Call in and give us your take.
So Tony Romo-- this is what the internet said.
Tony Romo played for the Dallas Cowboys, and he always wore the same number.
OK, isn't that pretty normal?
You get a number, you wear that for your career.
No, it wasn't done.
Oh.
The number, nine.
OK.
You following this?
He wore the number nine.
Now go back to the context.
I come with the Tony Romo and something for the bozos.
OK, he's got the boatload of diamonds.
Don't worry about the diamonds anymore.
He's rolling in-- he's wearing a jersey.
He's wearing a Tony Romo.
He's bought into a partial stake at Dallas area Tony Romo's restaurants.
No, here's the full line.
Plain English, here we go.
Come with the Tony Romo for clowns and all the bozos.
I don't understand how nine is a significant part of this.
What else does the number nine refer to?
OK, so let's take out the Tony Romo.
I don't know, man.
There could be a lot of things, dude.
There's nine players and a baseball diamond.
That's why Post Malone is a genius.
He uses football as a metaphor for a baseball team.
No.
So think about it.
Replace Tony Romo for nine.
I come with the nine for clowns and all the bozos.
Oh, he's bringing a gun.
That's right.
That is a stretch.
And the thing that I'm not sure about is, is that a thing that people say,
or is this just a Dallas Cowboys fan who's now become a famous rapper
just throwing in something kind of special for his community?
I hope it's that.
I've never heard of that before, but I can't say for sure.
Also, I don't follow football closely enough to be like,
"Oh, Tony Romo, of course it's nine."
Right.
Yeah, it's not like he's referencing Jordan.
23.
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah.
I'll do that in a song, like 23 and me.
Is LeBron 23 too?
I think he is.
That's confusing.
So he must have done that because he just loves Jordan.
He's just like, "I'm the next Jordan.
I'm going to be 23."
I wonder what Jordan thought of that.
He's like, "Damn, son.
You better deliver."
You listen to the time crisis that we're talking about today.
I think Jordan's feelings were hurt when LeBron--
Do you think Michael Jordan felt affronted when a young LeBron--
Has he always been 23?
The thing you got to understand about a guy like Michael Jordan
is that it can be very isolating to be that rich and that successful.
We sometimes take it as a given that a major wealthy celebrity
is going to feel very confident, but for all we know,
when Michael Jordan saw that LeBron took the number,
it's possible his feelings were hurt.
He might have felt like, "Is my day over?
Are people going to forget about me?
Is this kid replacing me?"
Michael's the most competitive guy I've ever met.
No one competes harder than Michael Jordan.
This guy likes to compete.
He likes to have his own numbers.
He has his own house.
He has his own shoe.
He has his own company.
You can't see this guy being happy about this one.
Not for one minute.
There's such specific sports radio voices.
Can you imagine listening to that stuff for hours?
People do it.
That's amazing.
And then it's like, "Okay, and now we're going to go to a 12-minute ad break."
[laughs]
You're listening to Time Crisis on Beats 1.
[sighs]
I mean, I'm sure--
Oh, man.
I'm sure, especially now in the podcast era, there probably is--
I could see you coming in one day and being like,
"Yo, I'm really into a baseball podcast."
I've tried.
But there wasn't one that kind of spoke your language?
I just don't follow the game close enough anymore.
I can't follow what they're talking about.
Maybe we really should do a sports podcast.
I liked when--
Not knowing squat.
Wait, when we watched the World Series that time,
weren't you the one who was telling me all the back story?
Maybe.
I mean, maybe I sort of like--
Like you told me about the guy who had addiction issues
and he quit college at the peak of his ball-playing career.
Oh, right, right.
You knew all that information.
I think I just obtained that information that week.
Right.
I wish I followed the Dodgers.
I just don't.
I'm always like, "Oh, yeah, this year I'll get into it again,"
because I used to love baseball.
It just hasn't happened.
Did you follow the Stanley Cup a few weeks back?
Hell no.
One of the teams is Las Vegas.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
There's a Vegas NHL team?
Wait, what are they called?
Las Vegas Golden--
If I just came to you and said,
"Jake, what level of hockey do you think
the Las Vegas Golden Knights play at?"
You probably would have been like--
Yeah, whatever the minor league hockey is.
Right.
Anyway, Tony Romo, number nine, that's a gun.
Post Malone is armed and dangerous.
The number one song on the Rolling Stone list,
Martha Rees and the Vandellas, "Dancing in the Street."
You know what's crazy?
I think the Dead covered this.
Oh, yeah.
♪ Dancing, dancing in the street ♪
Like early Dead, '66, '67.
I thought it was more like a '70s.
Really?
Well, maybe it is on a record in the '70s.
Really? This was on a studio album of theirs?
All I've heard is really raw '67, '68, '66,
really raw live recordings.
They played it at Cornell '77.
Oh, really?
They do this thing where they go, ♪ Dancing, dancing in-- ♪
Oh, man, this is rough.
[laughs]
That one sounds pretty good.
Yeah.
Maybe Richard Pictures should do this.
That'd be fun.
♪ Dancing ♪
We did "I Second That Emotion" last time at the pub.
Was there a Dead version of that?
Yeah.
They did it a few times.
♪ I second that emotion ♪
Open second set with it.
Yeah, Martha Rees and the Vandellas "Dancing in the Street."
Great song.
Yeah.
Exciting.
Big drums for the '60s.
The number one pick for the song of the summer by Billboard,
so I guess this is the song of the summer according to them.
Drake, "Nice For What."
♪ I want to know who my [expletive] representing here tonight ♪
I feel like this song is clearly not as big as God's plan.
I've never heard this.
Yeah, we did this on the Top 5 before.
Was it?
Yeah.
♪ How can I explain myself ♪
♪ You said you'd pay for me bad ♪
♪ Louisiana ♪
Is this a Kanye sample?
♪ Right on the beat ♪
No, Lauryn Hill.
Oh.
Kanye's sample?
He sampled a--
Wait, that was a different Lauryn Hill song he sampled back in the day.
Okay.
The same album.
♪ Everybody get your [expletive] roll on ♪
♪ I don't show it and she doesn't want no slow song ♪
That sounds pretty great.
It's cool.
Yeah.
Oh, tempo.
Oh, yeah.
She don't like no slow songs.
I usually think of Drake as very lethargic, like, ballad.
I think he's trying to get ahead of the curve.
A lot of those other songs are kind of sad, quiet ones.
♪ But it's all right ♪
♪ And you're showing off ♪
Has that happened where someone like Drake samples a Kanye song from two years ago?
Just samples something off Yeezus?
Well, there was the two Kanye albums ago.
He had a whole song that sampled that Desiigner song, "Panda,"
which was brand new at the time.
And "Panda" went on to be a big hit.
Yeah.
Yes, it is.
That happens.
I remember there was a time--this was already a long time ago, like mid-2000s--
there was a time when there were multiple songs on the radio that had Jay-Z samples on the hook.
There's this--
♪ Bring 'em out, bring 'em out ♪
Remember that song?
No.
I wasn't listening to the radio at that point.
Really?
I don't think so.
I remember, like, '02, when I was ordering pizza a lot,
there was a period there, like a six-month period,
where Snoop was on every other song.
Mm-hmm.
Right, because that was all the Dr. Dre stuff.
I forget who else.
Well, those are the songs of the summer.
I guess it's an interesting summer.
I think that was a--for 2018, it's a pretty good batch.
I'm still going to go with "Cardi B."
It's just a fun song.
A lot of these other summer songs are too depressing or making you think too hard.
Also, everybody's complaining all the time.
What was your favorite from the Rolling Stone list?
"School's Out"?
Maybe the Eddie Cochran.
I like "Summertime Blues."
Yeah.
And "Dancing in the Street."
[singing]
I still got some issues with "California Girls."
I don't know if we fully cracked that one.
[singing]
"East Coast Girls" are hip.
"Southern Girls" have great accents.
"Midwest Girls" are pretty cool.
"Northern Girls" provide body heat to their boyfriends.
Period.
I wish they all could be "California Girls."
That's a pretty low bar.
Body heat.
[singing]
You know what?
The song would be easier to understand if you were like,
"East Coast girls are whack.
They think they're so whatever."
Right.
"Southern Girls" have those accents, which I don't like.
"Midwestern Girls" spend too much time down on the farm.
"Northern Girls" too cold to even do anything with.
I wish they all could be "California Girls."
I wish we could export "California Girls" to the rest of the country.
Which is exactly what happened.
Yeah.
California leads the way culturally.
Your dream came true.
Mike Love called it.
Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, they exported "California Culture."
That's the funny thing about them is "California Girls."
Oh, they're the--
Absolutely.
They're the queens of "California Girls."
Yeah, man.
Juice.
Oh, come on, juice.
Anyway, another great show.
I think we really kicked off summer for our listeners.
I'm in a real summery mood.
Oh, yeah.
Check out that "Dear Nora" album.
Check out "Dear Nora."
Skull's example is my name.
And thanks to Katie Davidson for calling in.
All disrespect to the Walmart social media team.
We're on to you.
And if you just come out and admit that the whole thing was a setup.
Maybe we should start going after them on Twitter.
Maybe we got to just really start the Punisher Burgers account
and just be like--
This was a false flag operation.
Yeah.
All right, we're going to get Seinfeld on the case.
Okay.
All right, everybody, we'll see you in two weeks.
Time Crisis with Ezra King.
Be-be-be-be-be-beasts.
One.
you
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