Episode 79: Be Grateful
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Transcript
Time Crisis, back once again. On this week's episode, we talk to the social media strategists
of Texas-based Buffalo Wang's restaurant, Pluckers. We also talk about A Star is Born
and its potential sequel, Zzzz. All this, plus the greatest hits of 1983 and today.
This is Time Crisis with Ezra King. Be-be-be-be-be-be-beasts. One.
They passed me by, all of those great romances. The war I felt, robbing me of my rightful
chances. My picture clear, everything seemed so easy. And so I dealt to the blow, when
the bus had to go. Now it's different, I want you to know. One of us is crying, one of us
is lying, leave an only way. Time Crisis, back again. So Jake, I still haven't seen
A Star is Born. Oh man! Clearly I gotta see it. Yeah. It's the music event of the year.
And film. And film of the year. Why haven't you seen it? You been busy? Yeah, I've been
kinda busy. Yeah. It just never feels like the right night to like go to the movies.
Interesting. I love going to the movies, so it's like if there's an excuse, I'm doing
it, we're doing it. I like it conceptually. We saw it opening weekend. Was the theater
packed? No. Really? Pasadena Arclight. Pretty full. Nice. I'm looking at the A Star is Born
merch. Some of it is kinda what you'd expect, 'cause for people who haven't seen the movie
like me, but really don't know anything about it, the two main characters are Allie, played
by Lady Gaga. I'm impressed that you know these character names. I've read so much about
it. I'm about as familiar with this movie as anybody could be without having seen it.
Lady Gaga plays Allie, and Bradley Cooper plays Jackson Maine. The A Star is Born merch
is as if they were real people, so it's like a picture of Lady Gaga and it says like, "Allie."
It's almost like you picked it up at an Allie concert. Right. And then there's some Jackson
Maine ones, but the one that's really hilarious to me is a picture of Bradley Cooper holding
a guitar and it says, "One night only, Jackson Maine, Louisville, Kentucky with special guest
May 15th, 2009." I'm like, "Damn, that's a lot of detail." Is that like a part of the
movie? Is there a special concert? I don't know. The 2009 is weird, 'cause it's sort
of like in the movie you are sort of wondering like, "When is this taking place? Is this
2017, 2018?" I guess this answers your question. It's 2009. Are there references to current
President Obama? No. I think it is set in the present day, but he's had a long career.
Do people use cell phones in the film? Oh, yeah. The Nintendo Switch? Very heavy with
the Nintendo Switch. Okay, so then it's gotta be the past couple years. No, I think it is
the last few years, but yeah, he's had a long career and he's maybe on the backside of that
career. Maybe he was at his peak, first decade of the century. What happened to you, Jackson?
Sitting in your apartment all day playing Nintendo Switch? Used to be a big star. I
wish I could do the Jackson Mean voice. What is it? Is it Southern? It's real low. It's
just like a lot of fry. It's like, "What am I been doing? I just been playing that Nintendo
Switch." Better than Nintendo Wii. That was the main Nintendo platform a few years back.
I'll tell you what. You know who his voice is kind of like? Yeah. It's Sam Elliott, 'cause
Sam Elliott is in the film. He plays his brother. Oh, wow. I didn't want to spoil that, 'cause
that's kind of a late reveal. Oh, is it? Well, midway through the film. I feel like every
article about this that I've seen references the brother, Sam Elliott. See, I hadn't read
that much about it, and I actually went in with low expectations, and I was- Blown away.
Thrilled. Anyway- You know what it was? It reminded me of Titanic in a good way. It was
a sweeping, tragic romance epic. Whoa. I haven't heard anybody compare it to Titanic. That's
what I thought of when the credits started rolling. Usually when the credits start, the
crowd just kind of gets up immediately and dances out. In this situation, the crowd stayed
seated just to kind of soak up the last sort of ambience of the film. That's what popped
in, Titanic. It's like a different aesthetic than Titanic, but it's the same sort of emotional
register. I haven't seen the movie, but the main thing I just kept thinking about was
how hilarious it'd be to get you this shirt. Maybe Tom Cruise has got to get you this one.
Did you rock this one? It's not just Jack- I couldn't rock it, dude. No, but I love that
it's so specific. Also, how did they decide this? Louisville, Kentucky with special guest
May 15th, 2009. Well, maybe he's from there? His character? Oh yeah, because there's a
scene when he's hanging out with Dave Chappelle, and I think that's back- Back in Louisville?
In like where he's from. Have you seen the film, Seinfeld? I saw it. Oh, really? Yeah.
Lots? Yeah, I also had low expectations, and yeah, I enjoyed it. I don't think I enjoyed
it as much as you did, but I liked it. I just like this shirt because it's one step beyond.
I guess there's like levels. You can get a shirt that's kind of like, "I'm a fan of this
thing," and then you can get a shirt that's kind of like, "I'm such a fan of this thing,
I want a shirt that kind of makes it seem like I live in the world of the movie." Right.
And this one is like, "I'm so deep into the world of the movie that I'm actually exploring
like the outer reaches." It's like fan fiction. I'm exploring the Jackson Maine universe,
the JMU.
Maybe it's time to let the old ways die. Maybe it's time to let the old ways die. Takes a
lot to change a man. Hell, it takes a lot to try. Maybe it's time to let the old ways die.
Nobody knows what a ways for the dead. Nobody knows what a ways for the dead. Some folks
just believe in the things they've heard and the things they read. Nobody knows what a
ways for the dead.
Are there other examples of, from like realistic films of like fan fiction merch?
There's the Axe Capital Billions t-shirt.
Nice.
Comes to mind.
Oh yeah, well exactly.
But that's not like, they're not pushing it.
It's like you could go to the NBC store at Rockefeller Center and you could get a shirt
of Michael Scott from The Office saying some like classic Michael Scott type line and just
wear that and people would be like, "Oh, you like The Office?" And then you could get a
shirt that says The Office. You get a shirt that says Dunder Mifflin.
Okay.
It's like a little inside.
It's like semi plausibly realistic if that universe existed.
Yeah, exactly.
If The Office universe existed.
They would have Dunder Mifflin t-shirts.
You wouldn't have a t-shirt with Michael Scott on it.
Exactly. As a fan of a fictional universe, the t-shirt you choose shows.
That's to exist within that universe.
It shows what reality you want to live in. There's people who are like, "I enjoy The
Office. It's a funny program. I like to flip it on. Takes my cares away." And there's other
people who are like, "I live in The Office universe."
That's why Ghostbusters shirts always kind of worked.
Because they're both at once.
Yeah. It's the simple shirt with just the logo, but in the film, the Ghostbusters become
celebrities and are like a hot thing in New York for a second. And people are rocking
in the fictional universe of the film. People are wearing shirts with the Ghostbusters logo.
Right.
When you wear that, it's like you might've been a fan in the fictional universe of the
film. But a lot of movies, what could you do? Like in Lebowski, there probably is fictional
merch you could wear.
Yeah. You get a Harry Potter shirt that says, "Property of Gryffindor," as if you bought
it at the Gryffindor gift shop. Like it's a real place.
Yeah. I don't know about this Jackson Maine tee.
Anyway, we're going to get it for you. Where are you going to wear it to?
I wouldn't wear it. I'll be honest with you. I love free t-shirts.
The Time Crisis crew drops $35 plus shipping and handling on this t-shirt. We get it for
you. It's a high quality shirt. Nice cotton. Feels good. Fits great.
Very soft.
Very soft. You're not going to wear it?
I would wear it to a taping of the show.
That's it?
Yeah.
You're wearing a Sweet Martha's Cookie Jar sweatshirt right now.
I know. I have so much merch. Actually, I was saying this the other day. My wardrobe
right now is like, it's either like Time Crisis or Vampire Weekend or Little Wings or Richard
Pictures based.
Or Sweet Martha's.
Or Sweet Martha's. That's kind of like TC Universe.
Yeah. True.
Because I have three Sweet Martha's shirts. I have 8 Minute Cape Cod. That's a classic.
I have my, I've been wearing my Father's Day Weekend, Vampire Weekend.
Oh yeah. I've seen you wear that out in the wild.
A lot.
That looks great.
It's kind of cooling down a little bit in LA. And I've got countless Little Wings and
Richard Pictures shirts.
And all those shirts, you never think twice about throwing on?
No. They're cool, man. But like, just like walking into like,
I agree. I agree.
They're like civil coffee down the street from me. I'm just like wearing like a Jackson
Maine tee. I mean, that does show that I do, I do.
That's sick.
I would describe myself as a guy that's super, you know, self-conscious about my appearance
in public.
But you would be that self-conscious.
That would, that's pushing it.
Would you wear an Ally shirt?
No, man.
Would you wear a shirt that says Bradley Cooper and it's a picture of Bradley Cooper directing
Stars Born?
Like, just-
Is that sure that you're more in touch with consensus reality?
I like that. I like that interpretation.
Let's get one that's just like, picture Bradley Cooper says Bradley Cooper on the back. It
says director of Stars Born.
That'd be solid.
You'd rock that?
And it's him like in an editing booth or something.
Or no, if it was, yeah, that's fine.
Or maybe that's the back of the shirt and then the front of the shirt is, is him as
Jackson Maine.
You know what would be really dope?
Like take it deep, like find a picture of like a young Bradley Cooper from like when
he was like 18 and like the mid nineties and then just like have like, make a shirt from
like Jackson Maine live at the Troubadour, July 22nd, 1996.
Like really go deep.
And it's like a very young Bradley Cooper, like, you know, like in the role of a very
young Jackson Maine.
Opening-
Because he's had a 25 year career.
Yeah.
Opening-
Opening for Eddie Vedder, for Eddie Vedder solo ukulele show at the Troubadour, 1998.
Oh no, that's even deeper. You make an Eddie Vedder t-shirt solo to her and then very small
text at the bottom is just with special guest Jackson Maine.
You notice you make it Austin city limits, 2005 festival shirt, just with like whatever
it is on the front.
And then in the back, just very subtly you change it to Jackson Maine.
Like, like 35th listed performer.
You know, it's all just spot on realistic taking the Jackson Maine, just a granular level
of detail.
Okay.
What about this is probably the coolest Jackson Maine shirt.
This one, the one I'm showing Jake now, it kind of looks like an actual vintage, like
Bob Seger shirt from the seventies.
Would you rock this one?
Oh man.
I mean, you love the film.
It's the best looking shirt of the ones we've seen, but you know, what's funny, I couldn't
rock it because, well, it's still from the film, but also because of the time period
in which the film is set, it automatically becomes, this is like a reissue, a fake retro
shirt that you'd see at like target.
You didn't buy this.
Jackson Maine wasn't touring in 1980.
You know, there's a whole like other uncanny valley.
I mean, I don't know.
Do you think that they're going to continue making albums as Jackson Maine?
Like is this to keep going?
I think Bradley Cooper is to, uh, he would find that corny.
That's my guess.
And he's right to find that corny.
Keep expanding the stars born universe.
I could totally picture like somebody right now putting together a deal.
Bradley Cooper, lady Gaga tour tour.
Oh yeah.
Arena tour as Jackson Maine and Allie.
Wow.
Would people go?
I mean, Gaga's huge.
So Gaga's got a built in thing and they'd have to do it soon.
Who are some other fictional musicians that could get in Jeff Bridges from crazy heart?
Real mellow.
Jackson Maine alley with special guests, Jeff Bridges from crazy heart, Mark Wahlberg
from rock star.
What other fictional musicians?
That's a good one.
Blues brothers.
That's a good one.
What?
John Goodman.
Yeah.
And Dan Aykroyd, the John Goodman reboot.
Jackson Maine with miles Teller from whiplash on drums.
Whiplash long sleeve, awkward movie merch.
I love it.
Oh, you know what?
I wear long, dumb road shirts.
Oh, there you go.
Coming out next month, folks.
Oh wow.
Real soon.
Yeah.
Looking forward to that.
Oh yeah.
Trying to think of movie shirts.
I mean, I just remember like in the nineties when I was very interested in T shirts and
I was like 12, 13, there were just like very interested in T shirt.
And it was like a joke in my family that my main passions as a young adult, I don't remember
exactly the order, but at some point I was really into comic books, specifically X-Men
comic books.
I've probably talked about this on the show.
And then at some point before I got just like deeply into music and I was liked music, but
before I was like, you know, would spend my allowance on CDs.
There was some point in between where my thing was like T shirts, just like a T shirt guy.
And now I kind of am again.
Yeah.
It seems like that never went away.
I mean, there was a period, you know, like early vampire weekend days, my whole thing
was like, I'm not into T shirts.
Oh, polos.
I'm into collared shirts and polos.
What were your big, like coveted T shirts when you were a kid?
It was at that point, it was also kind of like very early internet days.
So you would still get mail order catalogs.
So it could be like really exciting to just like see all the options.
So actually I was into music shirts.
One prize position I had, which I'm pretty sure I don't have, cause I was looking for
one says, uh, the Southern California and Scott punk band voodoo glow skulls.
I'd like a sick voodoo glow skull shirt.
I had a lot of Scott t-shirts.
Were you a fan of the band?
Yeah.
I love voodoo glow skulls.
And they had like specifically sick merch.
Yeah.
They had cool merch.
It was like skeletons being the horn section.
Yes.
I had some music shirts.
I had a, uh, Ultraman, Japanese superhero ringer T. Remember ringer T's were very hot
in the nineties.
Oh, with the cuffs.
Yeah.
I never could wear those.
Really?
I just felt too goofy.
It's like too hip or something.
I just never could rock that.
I could see that.
Yeah.
If I was like college age, when I was like 12, yeah, it was kind of like a seventies
throwback.
Right.
Yeah.
Another one I had, which is like classic nineties, ironic style was a Mr. Bubbles shirt.
You know, just kind of like a funny, goofy old brand.
Dude.
I had a Mento shirt in high school.
We, um, me and some buddies, we like saved up all of the Mentos wrappers.
If you sent in like 10 or 15, they sent you a shirt.
Oh really?
And it was like a prize possession for us.
See, what'd you share it with, with the crew?
No, we, no, we each like sent in the rappers.
So we had like three, it was like in my band, Vince, Vince, chlorotho.
And this is all coming back to me now.
I don't think I've ever heard about that band.
Yeah.
And the three of us would all wear Mento shirts.
What was the band called?
Vince, Vince, chlorotho.
What does that mean?
It's up there.
The worst name ever.
VVC.
VVC is too bad.
It was called VVC.
Why are we Vince, Vince, chlorotho?
How have we, we've heard about Cartesian divers, your band with Dave.
Well, no, I wasn't in Cartesian divers.
I was an American people.
Okay.
So what's the story of Vince, Vince?
Dave's eighth grade band was called Cartesian divers.
You were not, you're just a fan?
No.
And then Dave and I had a band called American people.
And Dave and I were in the same band.
And Dave had solo projects called Amsterdam and flames, angry youth.
What were some of the other ones?
Dirty projectors.
Oh yeah.
Eventually dirty projectors.
I was in a band called Vince, Vince, chlorotho with my two friends.
And it's sadly enough, it's pertinent to this conversation, a Ghostbusters reference.
When Rick Moranis' character, Louis Tully, the accountant that lives in central park
west gets possessed by the devil dog, he turns into Vince chlorotho.
An iconic part of the film.
He goes, I'm Vince, Vince chlorotho, key master of gulzer.
You know, just like Lord of the Sibelii.
Are you the gatekeeper?
That sounds familiar.
Because you guys are so into quoting Ghostbusters, the fact that he said, I'm Vince, Vince chlorotho.
Yeah, cause we were like a bunch of 17 year old dweebs.
And like our band's called Vince, Vince chlorotho.
And it was sort of like a Weezer meets pavement kind of ripoff band.
And you wore Mentos shirts.
Yeah.
The girls loved our band.
Really?
No.
No, yeah.
I've got a dungeon master's guide.
I've got a 12 sided die.
I've got it freely.
I got Peter Criss waiting there for me.
Yes I do.
I do.
In the garage I feel safe.
No one cares about my ways.
In the garage where I belong.
No one hears me sing this song.
In the garage.
You know it kind of makes me think that every generation has like a bunch of kind of like
dumb brands that you kind of like but you also kind of like ironically are into.
Like in the 90s Mentos because the commercials were kind of weird.
It was like funny to be in a Mentos but Mentos are a decent product.
I don't know like what five years ago.
It was kind of like cool and funny to be into Chipotle.
Is that fair to say.
I don't know.
Canada doesn't really have that many Chipotle so I don't know if we have that culture.
I guess it was like an ironic thing.
I'm not tapped in on that.
It wasn't just that people were like like Chipotle is that people wouldn't shut up about Chipotle.
It was like the Olive Garden right.
Like the way people joke about the Olive Garden.
Oh I see that kind of humor.
But the Olive Garden I feel like people are just actually being mean and being like the Olive Garden sucks.
Right.
And Chipotle it's almost like I don't know why it's like there's certain things maybe just because they're new.
People are like can't shut up about they're like exciting and funny to talk about.
What is Chipotle's Twitter account like.
It's a good question.
Sounds like I get a number crunch on that.
Let's take a look.
They got eight hundred and eighty nine thousand followers.
Damn.
Their most recent tweet was is a taco a sandwich.
Hundred and twenty two retweets.
The previous tweet before that is that heroic feeling when one of your chips break off in the salsa and you send in another chip to rescue it.
It's kind of like Wendy's two years ago.
That's cute.
Like on the cusp of like.
It actually sounds pretty quaint by today's standards.
None of that Steakums bulls**t.
Oh getting political.
The only thing hotter than our burritos is a registered voter from October 9th.
I don't know if I'd call that political.
Well they're not picking a side.
Well it's engaged civically.
Yeah it's civic.
Yeah they're civically engaged.
I'll take it at this point.
Any other good tweets from Chipotle?
Is there a mood ring that can turn the color of a burrito?
What like an off white tortilla color?
That's just stupid.
Hundred and fifty one retweets.
That's just stupid man.
But also I guess this is like classic that you know we're all just so basic.
It's like some new s**t comes out.
We just want to talk about the new s**t.
And it's not necessarily because the new s**t is so interesting.
It's just because it's new.
It's like hey when you listen to like Cole Porter, Gershwin songs,
you know like popular music from the 20s, 30s, 40s, whatever.
There's always like "You send my heart like a rocket ship."
And it's like some s**t we don't even think twice about or it's like
Right but that would have been new.
"You're the greatest thing since laundromats."
You know they're like they're just talking about whatever was new back then.
"My Frigidaire."
Yeah exactly.
I think if we went back and like poured over the lyrics like that kind of classic
Tin Pan Alley type stuff there'd be a lot of references to like electricity
and rocket ships and automobiles and s**t.
And at the time that was kind of like you know writing a song today
where you talk about you know it goes down in the DMs.
Right.
Like it's not that interesting that it goes down in the DMs
but somebody's got to say it and then we're all like yeah it does go down in the DMs.
That's some new s**t.
And then in five years people are like DMs whatever that's how people talk.
Who cares?
Yeah no s**t Chipotle it's just another chain.
Do you guys know the comedian Sebastian Montescalo?
No.
One time I went to a comedy club with somebody
and we were just kind of like watching whoever's up.
And you know like especially in L.A. you'll get a mix.
Any night you'll get a mix of like randos.
I mean I've seen some like crazy s**t.
And some heavy hitters.
Oh I'm sorry it's Sebastian Montescalo.
I've been to some nights where you just see like somebody
basically an amateur just like brutal.
And then they're just like getting no laughs and they're like oh okay well you know
kind of cutting it early and then the guy gets up and he's like
next man needs no introduction Dave Chappelle.
It's just like you know it's like that kind of vibe and you're just like
oh god I feel bad for that other person.
But whatever maybe that's how you learn.
So anyway this night at this comedy club it was like in a small room
and I don't know who's who.
Of course I know the really big names but so this guy Sebastian Montescalo is on stage
and I'm listening to this guy and he's like pretty down the middle observational humor.
But like a talented comedian.
I'm not trying to knock him but the guy I was with is kind of like
this is one of the most successful comedians in America.
And I was like are you kidding I've never heard of this guy.
And they're like yeah that's his thing.
He's not like one of these like I guess he is very famous but
he's not like one of these New York LA like super hip relevant comedians.
He's a guy who has an act you can bring the whole family to.
Observational.
Simple.
He's never I guess had a TV show or anything like that.
And he just diligently tours and probably makes millions and millions of dollars a year.
And he's just like you know does his thing.
Like Brian Regan.
Yeah I'm not sure who that is but that kind of vibe.
I think yeah similar vibe.
After that I was interested in him so I started looking up his bits
and I see like on YouTube he has certain bits that are have millions and millions of views.
And I'm like okay.
And then I kind of realized like oh this is what this guy does.
It's not that different than say Jerry Seinfeld.
Where he's observational humor.
So but with him he's funny so he'll like just kind of pick on a topic.
Just like pick these like big topics that other comedians maybe would find too basic or something.
But he just like picks one and digs in.
And one of the most viewed ones is about Chipotle.
Oh God I want to watch this now.
I actually don't know if in the comedy circle me saying that I find this guy funny
is like the equivalent of just like.
Some eye rolls.
But look.
Like a friend is just like dude you know what man Matchbox 20.
People slept on them.
It might be like that.
Nickelback or something.
But he is good.
His thing is that he's Italian American so he talks a lot about being Italian.
And he really like plays into it with his accent.
I think maybe he's from Chicago.
So he does this whole bit about Chipotle.
And this is just already the kind of dumb s*** I find funny.
The whole time he just always refers to it as Chipote.
It's like six minutes.
Just like everybody's going to Chipote now.
Everybody's talking about Chipote.
That kind of just like stretching it out.
Making such a meal of it.
And this, you know, one way of looking at this would be like it's basic.
Another way of looking at it would be like that's just a good comedian.
Is that then he just describes what it's like to go to Chipote in detail.
And he's just funny.
So he just makes it funny.
Like I bet if you look back and you compared it to like the best of the best.
Like Chris Roger of Chappelle.
You'd be like no joke of his hit the same high points as him.
But then another part of my brain is like I just listen to this guy talk about Chipote for six minutes.
Like he's like and then you go to Chipote and they say what do you want?
I don't know.
I've never been to Chipote.
It's like the jokes are like that.
And then you always got the guy in front of you.
He's reaching his arm over saying I want the pinto beans.
He's reaching his arm over.
Over the glass.
The glass is supposed to protect you.
You look at the guy and you're like you know don't do that.
Don't reach your arm over the glass.
Just say you want your pinto beans.
And move over.
This is Chipote.
But it's like I'm actually pretty down with it.
And then just like going through.
Then you move over.
Just describing it so slowly.
In detail.
But he's funny.
So and I'm kind of like picturing like you know what I'll take my family to see this dude.
This dude's funny as f**k.
I just appreciate that.
And then he's like and then you move over to the next guy.
And it's like who's this guy?
Now I got to give you a whole new order?
Who's this guy?
Now this guy want to know what kind of meat I want?
One minute I'm talking about beans and rice.
The next minute we're talking about meat.
Couldn't the same.
It's like that's the vibe.
And I remember it's like then you get to the next guy.
And then you got this guy.
The guy who's in charge of wrapping the burrito.
He gets this big plate.
This thing is piled to the ceiling with beans and rice and cheese and chicken.
And this guy's looking at this like oh boy I'm going to have to wrap this into a burrito.
And this guy's wrapping the burrito.
It's just like.
I haven't watched it in like a year.
But it clearly made a big impression on me.
But anyway I guess that's why Chipotle was so bemusing to people.
It's just because the ordering process was slightly different.
And I'm not dissing him.
I think he accurately picked up on the fact that America was bemused by Chipotle.
Because you couldn't even do that.
You see when McDonald's first came out in the '60s you could have done a whole bit.
I bet there's.
So I pull up to the drive-in.
There's no drive-in anymore.
You walk in.
They say park your car and walk in.
I'm like well you can't come out.
Where's the girl in the roller skates?
Well you tell me I got to get at them.
Now I'm standing in line?
Now I'm standing in line waiting.
I look over the counter.
The burgers are already made.
I didn't even order one yet.
And the burgers are already made.
How long has this thing been sitting out?
And I eat it.
It tastes pretty fresh.
I like that type of humor.
You can't get any customer service with the cable.
Here I went to Chipotle a couple weeks ago.
Love Chipotle.
They make a really nice burrito over there.
It's so terrific that the employees can't stop eating it.
The employees are never working.
They're always in the dining room eating.
You ever walk in there and you're like where are the workers?
The only guy behind there is the guy cutting chicken just looking at you.
Right?
He's not trained on burrito building.
And I'm watching the people order.
I mean there's a sneeze glass there right?
But people always hook the arm over the glass.
I'll have corn.
I'll have more corn.
Just say corn.
It's not soundproof.
It goes right over the glass.
Get your claw out of the cell.
Chipotle.
Anyway, speaking of social media, you know we talk so much about brand social media on time crisis.
We've been going hard on that stuff.
We've been going hard.
But maybe we're talking about something that we don't even understand.
We're talking about the people behind these accounts.
And we don't even know these people.
We're making assumptions about them.
Which upstate New York liberal arts school they went to.
How they're employed.
What they're trying to do.
What they're trying to accomplish.
We don't know.
Now the guy's looking at the Wendy's tweet.
He's all upset.
Wendy's isn't a person.
Close the computer.
Walk away.
Who cares?
You want a Wendy's sandwich?
Go eat a Wendy's sandwich.
You don't want a Wendy's sandwich?
Shut up.
Why are you so upset about the social media presence of brands?
Steakums is depressed.
Who cares?
Shut up.
This is like the anti-Punisher burgers.
Punisher burgers getting all bent out of shape.
It's Twitter.
It's hamburgers.
Close the computer.
Go outside.
Get some fresh air.
Shut up.
Anyway, Seinfeld, you happened to meet a social media strategist.
Yeah, this actually came through an email to 8minutecapecod.
That's the numeral 8.
At gmail.com from a long-time listener of the show.
And he said, "Hey, you guys are on this beat.
I know somebody, my friend Mac, works for this chain, this Texas-based wing chain called Pluckers."
And it's kind of affiliated with that world of that sort of, you know, what we've been talking about.
That sort of--
Right, because I've been interacting with Pluckers a little bit.
I'd never heard of it, actually, before.
Pluckers has 46,000 followers on Twitter.
I saw they tweeted at you today.
I'm looking at Pluckers' account.
There's a lot of jokes about buffalo wings.
They made a GIF that says "Pluck me up, fam."
They told me to pluck off, things like that.
So, anyway, we're going to talk to the man behind this account.
We're going to talk to Mac.
Now, let's go to the Time Crisis Hotline.
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Hey, is this Mac?
Yes, sir.
Hey, what's up? You're on Time Crisis with Ezra and Jake.
Yeah, how are you doing?
Not bad, man.
Is it true that you're the social media strategist for Austin, Texas-based restaurant chain Pluckers Wing Bar?
I am. It is Pluckers Wing Bar down in Austin.
Very cool.
How many locations of Pluckers?
We currently have 23.
We've got 24 opening by the spring, and then we'll have at least 25 by the end of next year.
And they're all in Texas?
So there's two of them in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, but yeah, the rest are in Texas.
It's run by the same three guys who started it as college students at the University of Texas back in 1995.
So you're a social media strategist. Are you freelance? Do you work for an ad agency? What's the story?
So ours is in-house.
So I work for the marketing department. We have a corporate office near downtown Austin.
We have a full marketing team, got a few graphic designers, but I'm in charge of most of the social media.
So what's a typical day like for you? Are you just on Twitter all day?
It's a weird gig.
So yeah, I mean, I'm tweeting to people all day. I also do our Instagram and Facebook.
So we are a restaurant, so I do deal with some complaints.
So people will say, you know, something went wrong with my pickup order or something like that.
And, you know, I'll contact the various store managers and we get that worked out.
But yeah, it's pretty funny because, you know, our corporate office, we have all the accountants and everybody working hard.
I'm over there, you know, giggling at buying comps and trying to come up with funny stuff.
How did you land this gig? What was your background?
So I actually come from journalism, which is a tough industry to be in.
So I worked for a couple of different publications.
And I interned with Plucker's marketing department when I was in college at UT a couple of years ago.
And then I started my first year of August 1st.
It's kind of a weird landscape right now for the social media strategist for restaurant chains.
It is.
It kind of feels like we're entering phase two.
Yeah, I didn't get that bachelor college degree, so I'm a little ill-equipped there.
But yeah, it's a weird time.
But you went to UT Austin?
Yeah, so I do have a liberal arts honors degree in religious studies, history, and American studies, which won't help you with anything.
That was going to be my next question.
Which of those fields of study helped you the most running the Plucker's Twitter account?
So honestly, religious studies.
It can kind of be a cult.
So I wrote my thesis on hip-hop as a religion.
A lot of it was about capitalism and how brands help form our identities.
And a lot of the professors and scholars that I read obviously didn't see it as a good thing.
But I don't think there's really anything wrong with turning to Moon Pie and Plucker's and Snaco and Denny's for our content and entertainment.
It's a dumb time to be alive, but it's pretty fun.
So you don't feel competitive with those other brands?
You see them doing their thing?
Like, for instance, when Steakums went on their kind of existential rant about, "You want to know why people follow brands?
It's because millennials have nothing to look forward to."
You were just like, "Strong."
It's an honor, sir, to be working in the same industry as you.
As dumb as that sounds, that pretty much sums it up.
I actually know the guy behind the Steakums account, Nathan, and he's a brilliant guy.
I learned a lot from him because it's pretty easy to sell. We're a pretty popular restaurant.
USA Today is named as one of the top wing restaurants in the country.
ESPN is named as one of the top five sports bars.
So people already love Plucker's, whereas I haven't had Steakums, but I know you all discussed that in the last episode.
It's harder to sell frozen beef sheets than wings and beer.
But, yeah, it's interesting because we kind of have what checkers and rallies.
One of our, well, that's what it is, is Friend Brands. So it's "Frans."
Wait, who coined the "Friend Brands" "Frans"? Who coined that? Is that out there?
That is out there. You can search "checkers and rallies" for that one.
And we're friends with Sunny D.
Behind the scene, there's no corporate connection.
No. So Steakums, I talk to that guy personally pretty regularly, Nathan.
But the other ones, I don't even know.
A lot of places actually have pretty big teams behind them, like Wendy's and Moon Pie and Denny's definitely do.
And I know like Whataburger, which is a big Texas chain, does.
You build these alliances, these Friend Brand things.
Is it kind of like when a pop star has their squad and they kind of check the boxes, different types of people in different industries?
And you're like, but then they always have the beef with the person who's the most like them, you know?
So you're kind of like, oh, yeah, we're cool with Moon Pie and this burger place.
But f*** you, Wingstop. You'll never be "Frans" with me.
It's not explicit, but yes, Wingstop and Buffalo Wild Wings, especially Buffalo Wild Wings, is one of our biggest competitors.
And they're obviously, you know, nationwide.
But yeah, like so our national joke of the day, hashtag tweet was, you know, here's a terrible joke at Buffalo Wild Wings.
And since they're a bigger account, you know, they can't punch down.
So it's pretty much an easy shot to.
David versus Goliath, you're getting out that slingshot.
For lack of better term, I mean, it is it's like, yeah, we're talking about fried chicken and Twitter, but it is like all good entertainment.
You know, you got a protagonist and antagonist. You got to have drama.
The same as any other entertainment, really.
It's kind of like WWE, you know, you it's ridiculous.
It's absurd, but you can't really look away sometimes.
You know, it is what it is. It's a dumb time to be alive.
But I guess as we've seen, WWE was clearly the biggest influence on our culture.
It really is a dumb time to be alive.
Like, you know, I come from journalism and, you know, for a while it was like, oh, I'm selling out to any corporation.
But it was like you're writing about Donald Trump being compared to Toad the Mushroom from Mario Kart.
So it's a really dumb time to be alive.
The president of the United States is throwing shots on Twitter.
So, you know, you can't I don't think it's fair to judge Moon Pie and Pluckers and Denny's or whoever it may be for, you know, popping off stupid stuff on Twitter.
Whether it's literally the leader of the free world is doing the same, which is pretty scary.
But it's the times we live in.
Fifty thousand on my head is disrespect.
So offended that I had to double check.
I'm always take the money over.
That's why they need me out the way with you.
It's bad. Got a lot of blood and it's cold.
They keep trying to get me for my soul.
Thankful for the women that I know.
Can't go 50/50 with no.
Every month I'm supposed to pay a bill and get what you want.
I still got like seven years of doing what I want.
My dad still got child support from 1991.
Out of town, people love to pop a lot and come around where the flock of Jody.
He does. Put it down.
That's if I'm cool. I'm upset.
Hundred thousand on my head is disrespect.
So offended that I had to double check.
So what's the meanest thing you ever said to Buffalo Wild Wings?
And you have to run it up the flagpole. I mean, you're in the office, you know, so say you get an idea.
You're like, I'm going to tell Buffalo Wild Wings to pluck my today.
Do you have to go to the CEO and say, listen, this is kind of controversial.
It's a little edgy, but I really think this could be big for us.
So it is. It is great because my bosses are incredible.
They give me like so much creative freedom, which a lot of companies don't, because one of them was this is when I was first starting out and they had really thrown shop at
other restaurants.
So we have a weekly meeting where I recap and it's me basically saying, all right, boss, we posted a picture of you all from 1995.
They thought you were a zaddy and you can get it.
And then I had to explain what that means.
And then I explain my bad tweets and I say, yeah, boss, this is what the kids say.
This ain't it. So they didn't like that one.
But with Buffalo Wild Wings is National Joke Day and it was trending and that was my first one to hit like a thousand or two thousand.
I think it ended up with over like five thousand or something.
But it was funny because I had to come to that meeting and they're like, yeah, you probably would have asked us that before you posted it.
We probably would have said no.
And that specifically you told Buffalo Wild Wings that ain't it chief.
Yeah, they're a joke. And occasionally because we do have some older customers and there's one time where I was just like, hey, like I was not happy.
And I said something like, hey, slide into my DMs.
And he did slide into our DMs with, hey, I'm not a hey.
This is like, you know, the classic old man grumpy.
So it does backfire sometimes.
But overall, people seem to like it.
I don't want to slide into your BMs.
It was literally he's like, let me talk to corporate.
I was like, oh, man, like how do I tell the guy that's just like, hey, Sam, fuck me up.
It's like, well, you contact the right people you need to talk to.
You're just treating it the real life Hank Hill.
Damn it, pluggers.
I just want I just wanted to get some buffalo wings for my family.
Slide into where?
We have restaurants all around that area.
So you're being a lot more accurate than you realize.
So we talked about on the show before about how as there's been a slight backlash, a very slight backlash to kind of corporate brand Twitter's and corporate brand
Twitter humor.
I've occasionally seen these tweets where somebody says, you know, guys, when you're being a real a-hole to the you know, one of these corporate accounts, you're not
really thinking about the fact that you have a poorly paid young person probably in their 20s, maybe even intern doing this.
So when you tell, you know, staycums to shut the fuck up, you're being really cruel.
Do you find that the deeper you go as a social media strategist for pluggers, that when somebody disses pluggers or maybe says something mean to the brand on Twitter
that you start to take it as a personal slight?
I will say first and foremost, that brand Twitter is a million times nicer than journalism.
Twitter, anything you would write as a journalist, someone hates you and someone will tell you and you'll be like, well, did you read the third line of the article?
Nope. We saw the headline and we told you you could go kill yourself.
Right. Wow.
Whereas brand is what's great about the freedom that I have is if I have a bad joke and I have a lot of those, they'll be like, this ain't it, chief.
Or like, dude, this is effing stupid.
I'll be like, oh, man, I'm sorry.
I'll try harder next time.
Or, you know, sometimes people will tear me up about, you know, service or something at one of the restaurants.
I'm like, guys, like I'm just sitting here tweeting, bro.
Like I'll pass your information along.
Has a hater ever gotten under your skin?
Yes.
A pluggers hater.
Absolutely. I mean, like there are certain times where like they don't get your joke.
And it becomes just as personal as if you tweeted it from a personal account.
More personal. That's my work.
Whereas my personal account is like, all right, I'm not putting any thought of this.
Where it's like, no, no, guys, I do this for a living.
Like, OK.
Oh, wow. So it's the opposite.
It's even more personal because when they diss the pluggers account, they're dissing you and your job.
Your craftsmanship.
And your craftsmanship.
How do you hold yourself back?
You make a joke and somebody is like, this ain't it, chief.
That doesn't even make sense.
And you're like, it does make sense.
Maybe you're just f***ing stupid.
Do you have to hold yourself back?
Y'all probably hate this because this is exactly the dumb s*** about Brad Twitter.
There was a guy, so we posted Zach Prescott.
He was doing a dance inspired by Conor McGregor.
So it was a big gif video going around.
So we posted it.
It was like something real simple and basic, like me walking into pluggers.
And someone quote tweeted and says, this meme's trash.
Pluggers is trash.
Cowgirls, that's a big diss for the cowboys.
It's all trash.
You know, go f*** yourself or something.
And so we responded to him with pluck off, Robert.
And then he quote tweeted that and said all for clout.
And then I quote tweeted that and said something like for clout, fam, you have 47 followers.
And that's gotten like almost a million impressions for us.
So it's like literally like a lot of times they're not wrong.
Like this meme sucks.
And I'm like, you know what?
Like if I saw this across my timeline and I hadn't tried hard to make it, I'd probably say this is pretty stupid too.
But it's great because people talk s***.
Rather than, you know, having to send them a handwritten, you know, apology, you can literally fire them back up.
And the audience loves it.
It's like classic WWE, like no one's actually getting hurt.
But oh, look, a brand said something mean.
Like they get a kick out of that.
The standards are extremely low for brands, which is why I love them.
You ever get anybody from the Buffalo area, you guys do like a funny tweet or something, and they're just like,
"You know what, honestly, guys, shut the f*** up. You're from Texas.
You have barbecue, you got breakfast tacos, you have all this s***. You guys are fake wangs.
How dare you build a whole brand out of something that comes from Buffalo?"
We actually had guns in Buffalo, but it was mostly been positive.
We had a real viral tweet. It's got over 100,000 retweets.
When we called out Jake Paul, which was like, I've dreamed my whole life of having something go viral,
and it did, and it was the dumbest thing I've ever done.
What exactly was the tweet? Jake Paul's a YouTuber that everybody hates, for the people listening at home.
So it's probably about 3.30 in the afternoon.
I'm bored and ready to go home because no one's tweeting at us because they usually tweet when they're coming to the restaurant.
So I see Jake Paul trending because who's the other guy?
Shane Dawson was doing some big YouTube series about him.
So it's like blowing up on Twitter.
And so I said something dumb like, "Oh no, Jake Paul's trending.
I'm going to Pluckers to avoid this nonsense with like a food pic."
And so what's great is like I do social media for a living.
I know it's like scumbag marketing in a lot of ways, but Jake Paul, we didn't even tag Jake Paul.
Jake Paul is searching his own name.
So he comes and responds to it with, "Hey, can I get an eight piece?"
Which was like our real fans, and that's the best part is we have our own real fans that are like,
"Dude, Pluckers doesn't even sell out at eight counts. It's five, 10, or 15."
But that was probably about a month or two since I started.
And that one, I kind of panicked, and so I called my boss because by the time he responded, it was like 7.30 or 8.
And so I called my boss, and I'm like, "Oh, [expletive] dude, Jake Paul actually responded.
What do we do? Do we knife to him and take the free press?"
He's like, "Dude, we'll just block them."
So we screencapped his, "Can I get an eight count or whatever?"
Then we screencapped us blocking them, and then we tweeted that with just, "No, period."
And it got over like 17 million impressions, and it was a dumb way to go viral.
I spent my whole life writing serious articles and having much funnier jokes, and it's like,
"Oh, I told Jake Paul no, and now 17 million people have seen it."
And this is a dream come true, and it's also in a lot of ways much less satisfying.
I guess he's one of the few people that you were just allowed to do that to.
Jake Paul loved it. We unblocked Jake Paul, and he retweeted it, and he loves the free press too.
If anybody knows how to game the scumbag social media, it's like,
"Jake Paul is more shameless than we are. At least when we're doing dumb stuff all day,
you know we're trying to sell chicken."
Whereas him, he's always selling something, and everybody's selling something,
whether it's clicks or views, but it's like, "No, we're selling you chicken."
So in a lot of ways, Brand Twitter is more authentic than a lot of other stuff you consume as media.
So your philosophy is basically that the world is so f---ed up,
and everybody out there from the politicians to the journalists to the social media people,
they're all lying about it. It's all for sale.
But the only person who's being honest about it is Brand Twitter.
So in a way, there's something refreshing about it.
It's the man who sold the world.
Well, no, okay, look. You have to promote your brand, right?
You want people to come to your concerts. You're proud of the music you create.
We're proud of our food. We're proud of the work we do.
But at the end of the day, this is our job, and we've got to get people--
we want people to pay attention to us. We want people to come to our stores and enjoy our stuff.
So yeah, I don't feel bad about it. I stand by our product.
If I was doing social media, I used to work for ClickBait,
so I would be the one writing about the latest outrage about Jake Paul,
and people would say, "Why are you writing about this?"
More people would click on that than if you write an in-depth analysis of the history of racism in UT.
No one gives a s---.
But if you say, "Oh, here's the latest 'Catch Me Outside' girl video,"
it takes you two seconds to write. It gets more views than anything,
and the incentives are terrible, but it's like, yeah, that's what people are clicking on.
Whereas now, it's like, "No, I don't have to do this for clicks."
It's like, yeah, I'm selling chicken. It's good chicken. I stand by this chicken.
I've gained way too much weight now that I'm getting free chicken.
I think it's pure in a lot of ways.
So you're saying Pluckers is not healthy to eat?
You heard it here, folks.
You heard it-- [laughs]
Let's get Jake Paul on the line.
You guys should start a beef with another class. It's like Austin-based chain.
Whole Foods. Why don't you start a beef with Whole Foods and be like,
"You don't represent Austin. Pluckers does. We're the real Austin."
So that's the other thing about starting beefs is a lot of these guys don't have a good social media presence.
So it's like, I can talk s--- all day, but if they're not going to say anything back to us,
we're just screaming into the void.
Like the wrestling analogy, you need somebody to get in the ring with you.
Yeah, no, that's like a perfect analogy.
You need someone to duke it out with, and it's a dumb time to be alive is the moral of the story.
I like that you say that a lot. You should pitch that to your bosses.
Like, "Guys, new Pluckers slogan. It's a dumb time to be alive. Come through."
Pluck it.
Pluck it. [laughs]
All right, well, thanks, Mac. We appreciate that insight.
And currently, you guys have about 50,000 Twitter followers?
Yeah, about 46, 47. That's right. Hopefully, you can get us up to 50.
I don't know why we have so few Twitter followers for time crisis.
We're clapping back at people enough. Yeah, if you can just retweet us a bunch.
You got to get Seinfeld to start telling people to pluck off more often.
We really do need to start selling something.
Maybe we should really start that time crisis for Austin Flakes, just to have something to sell.
Because I feel like when you have something to sell, then now you got some skin in the game,
and then you can really start.
Because time crisis, we got no competition.
We're not going to pick a fight with a podcast.
We're internet streaming radio. We're kind of in our own lane.
And also, that'd be so personal.
Hey, Mark Maron, pluck off. And that's not even our lane anyway.
Who are you?
Time crisis is too in our own lane.
Anyway, thanks for calling in, Mac. We appreciate it.
And good luck to everybody. Pluckers.
Thanks so much, y'all.
Have a good one.
Bye.
Spoken wasn't well
Although I wasn't there
You said I was a friend
Which came as a surprise
I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone
A long, long time ago
Oh no, not me
We never lost control
Face to face
Of a man who sold the world
You're listening to
[beatboxing]
Time Crisis
On Beats 1
That was a hell of a call.
It's also interesting that he had the background as a journalist.
Right.
Because he's trying to make the case, being a social media strategist is like being an honest journalist.
We're all selling some bullsh*t.
I don't think that's true of like real journalism.
No.
Like old school, and of course there's a lot of people still doing it.
Matt Taibbi.
[laughter]
But, you know.
No, but I think, I can imagine because a certain side of journalism has become clickbait, awful, just headline grabbing trash.
I can imagine that if you're a serious journalist and you can't make a living doing that, and little by little you get sucked into kind of like the clickbait bullsh*t
echo chamber kind of world.
And then you're like, this is what journalism is?
And then somebody's like, hey, you want to do social media for pluckers?
You might be like, that sounds like step up.
I can see that.
You know one thing I'll say, I do love buffalo wings.
I'm not a big fan of wings.
You don't like buffalo wings?
No.
Why?
They're kind of just a mess.
You gotta eat like nine of them.
It's just kind of gross, all those little bones.
It's just kind of like your--
What about boneless wings though?
Yeah, what about boneless wings?
I mean, like chicken nuggets?
Is that what you're saying?
No, there's boneless buffalo wings.
I've never seen it.
Any-tizers.
That's a Tyson prant.
God, this is dark.
They make something called any-tizers.
What is it called?
As I say it out loud, it's such a bad name.
It's like appetizers, except it's any.
Like A-N-Y?
A-N-Y-tizer.
Any-tizers.
I don't get it.
I guess it's like appetizers you can eat any time.
That's a terrible name.
You're familiar with Tyson Foods.
Oh, yeah.
Anyway, they have something called any-tizers,
and they have boneless buffalo wings.
I just think buffalo wings taste great,
especially if they're a little bit crispy.
Have you ever been to the Anchor Bar in Buffalo, New York,
that's supposedly where they were invented?
No.
Went there on tour once.
You're saying wangs?
The word is wing, like the wing of a plane or a chicken, I guess.
But because I know a wings place that's called Big Wangs,
it's in Hollywood.
You know this place, Jake?
No, I don't.
Big Wangs.
I've never been in there,
but because I've walked past this place three to four times,
it got so stuck in my head that now every time I talk about buffalo wings,
I like to say buffalo wangs.
Buffalo wild wangs.
I like that the name wild is in Buffalo wild wings.
Yeah, where does the wild come from?
Nothing even remotely wild.
I guess they get pretty spicy, pretty hot.
So anyway, it's just one of those little things that makes me me.
Yeah, it's your essence.
And again, I know we're going to get some haters in the comments
saying wangs instead of wings is not a replacement for having a personality.
And you know what?
I never said it was a replacement for having a personality.
Is it part of my personality?
You bet your ass.
Is it a major part?
Yes.
Yes.
Look, the three things that define me, my love of music.
Everybody knows that about me.
Ezra is wild about music.
I'm wild about music.
He likes everything.
I love all music.
Everybody knows this about me.
Everything except country.
I even love country.
And people know this about me because, again, I'm not trying to be presumptuous.
Not everybody knows me, but the people who do know me know a few things about me.
One is they've seen me play music because they know I'm a musician.
Two, they've heard me talk about music.
And when they listen to Time Crisis and listen to me and Jake Chop It Up,
we're not talking about Vampire Weekend all the time.
We're talking about--
Doors.
We're talking about the dead.
Steve Miller.
We're not talking about Steve Miller.
We're talking about other artists.
So that lets people know that I'm a fan.
So they know that I play music and I listen to music and I discuss music.
So I'm wild about music.
That's one of the big three.
The second is I'm nuts about streaming internet radio.
Not podcasts, but internet streaming radio.
And they know this about me.
I mean, you're listening to the show.
It is the only ethical content.
It's the only ethical content in 2018.
And third, when I'm talking about buffalo wings, I say buffalo wangs.
And that's the big three that makes me me.
And I want all the listeners to tweet @TimeCrisis2000 the hashtag
#TheBigThreeThatMakeMeMe.
And I know it's going to look like #TheBigThreeThatMakeMeme.
And that's okay because it is kind of a meme.
A meme is a replicable idea.
Just watch your capitalization.
Yeah, the capitalization will help.
But #TheBigThreeThatMakeMeme.
Number three or spelled out?
Numeral three.
#TheBigThreeThatMakeMeme.
Because we do live in a time when everybody wants to tear each other down.
Especially on social media.
And I know, Seinfeld, you've gotten into some hot water there.
Oh, yeah.
You've dealt with haters.
Oh, yeah, scalding.
So we know everybody's trying to tear each other down.
And, yes, we're not that different from one another.
I'll admit that.
We're all human beings.
People will tweet at pluckers, "I've already seen this meme.
You're stupid."
Well, hold on.
That's not the whole point of memes is that they're replicable ideas that we share
and drive into the ground until they're not funny anymore.
That's part of what makes us human.
We all want to joke about Chipotle, and then eventually it's like, "Shut up.
It's just a restaurant."
But this is part of the human experience, right?
So everybody's trying to tear each other down and say, "You're not original."
I even see it on some popular meme accounts that I follow.
People sounding off on the comments saying, "I already saw this meme.
This format's old."
Maybe we're thinking a little too much about memes and we're not thinking enough about
me-me.
So I want to know, because I'm interested in you as a person who has some slightly different
characteristics than the millions of other people who are very similar to you.
#TheBigThreeThatMakeMeMe.
#Well, if you want to sing out, sing out #And if you want to be free, be free #'Cause
there's a million things to be #You know that there are #And if you want to live high,
live high #And if you want to live low, live low #'Cause there's a million ways to go
#You know that there are #You can do what you want #The opportunity's all #And if you
find a new way #You can do it today #You can make it all true #And you can make it undo
It's easy, you only need to know.
We're gonna start a viral hashtag and I think it's finally gonna get us some followers.
Yeah, I think this one is gonna be trending.
Seinfeld, since you're in charge of our social media, which by the way, it bothers me that
people always thinking that I run, even Pluckers thinks that I run the account.
It's timecrisis 2000.
Seinfeld 2000.
But anyway, since you run a social media account, I really think this is a million dollar idea.
Hashtag the big three that make me me.
And I think if you could get some really big name celebrities to do it, that's usually
the way to kind of really get something going.
I'm thinking Kim Kardashian.
Yep.
Allie Main.
Wait, is her last name Main too?
They get married in the movie?
Oh, okay.
Oh, no.
I may have said too much.
Wow.
They probably don't.
I don't know.
Seinfeld, just get on it.
Oh God.
Crack open your Rolodex and let's get the big three that make me me trending.
One last thing.
We were talking the past few episodes about how we found out that after Jerry Garcia died,
Steve Miller, the coward, said some pretty unkind things about the Grateful Dead.
We've been trying to get in touch with him, but no luck.
Huh, Seinfeld?
We tried a couple of times through social media and via email to his publicist.
Very polite email and a nice follow up and nothing.
Really?
Yeah.
So we were just talking about all these different musicians who talk about each other and we
talked about how Steve Miller talked about the dead after Jerry died and we found out
that Tom York talked about Jim Morrison, even going as far as to fat shame him years after
the man was dead, couldn't even defend himself.
And I actually came across this information myself because after we had that conversation,
I went home and I just, you know, for fun, Googled Grateful Dead and the doors, see what
kind of connections there were.
And I found out something pretty disturbing and so did a guy named Sam who emailed us
and I won't read the whole email, but he says, "Greetings TC crew, I'm a long time listener.
First time email, big fan of the show.
Love what you guys got going on."
He's a borderline millennial born in '81 in Nuevo Haven CT like Jake.
He was listening to the show and he felt like he had to tell us this.
He came across an interview in some casual reading that's pretty shocking.
Here's an excerpt.
This is a direct quote from Jerry Garcia.
"I never liked the doors.
I found them terribly offensive when we played with them."
It was back when Jim Morrison was just a pure Mick Jagger copy.
That was his whole shot that he was a Mick Jagger imitation, not vocally, but his moves,
his whole physical appearance were totally stolen from right around Mick Jagger's 1965
tour of the States.
He used to move around a lot before he started to earn reputation as a poet, which I thought
was really undeserved.
Rambo was great at 18, 19, and Verlaine.
Those guys were great.
Jim Morrison was not great.
I can't believe these words came out of Jerry's mouth.
This sounds like some Trump shit.
Jim Morrison was never great.
I'm sorry.
I could never see what it was about the doors.
This doesn't sound like our Jerry.
He had a competitive edge.
It almost made me wonder if you could create a whole circle of musicians talking shit about
each other.
So for instance, Steve Miller talked shit about Jerry Garcia.
Jerry Garcia talked shit about the doors.
Who did Jim Morrison talk shit about?
Did Jim Morrison talk shit about anyone?
On the dead?
If Jim Morrison talked shit about Steve Miller, then you got a circle.
So that's another thing that the fans at home could come up with.
Can you do like a six degrees of Kevin Bacon type thing?
Can you create a full circle?
A full circle of life of musicians talking shit about each other.
I imagine you can always go to Liam Gallagher or Noel Gallagher, both of them.
Six degrees of the Gallagher bros.
That's going to help.
But if you can create a whole, like a full circle, because the truth is a lot of musicians,
they were very sensitive, but a lot of us do talk shit a lot.
It's like, could you connect like Jerry Garcia to like Kanye in like two moves or three moves?
Right.
I'm sure you could.
Yeah.
Kanye talked shit about Taylor Swift.
Taylor Swift talked shit about Martha Blackburn.
Who's that?
She's a Republican, Republican Senator from Tennessee.
So we're taking it out of the music.
Yeah.
I'd prefer to keep it in music.
I don't know.
Yeah.
It's going to, it's hard, but I wonder if anybody can do it.
♪ The sound of the river ♪
♪ Fisher rising up like birds ♪
♪ It's been hot for seven weeks now ♪
♪ Too hot to even speak now ♪
♪ Did you hear what I just heard ♪
♪ Say it might have been the wind ♪
♪ Or it could have been the wind ♪
♪ Seems to be a beat now ♪
♪ Listen here it comes again ♪
♪ There's a band out on the roadway ♪
♪ Their hearts skipping every time ♪
♪ It's a rainbow full of sun ♪
♪ It's wild, wild people ♪
♪ Little lights dancing ♪
- Now the opposite of talking (beep) is paying tribute
to the musical heroes of the past.
And that's what Weezer did with their cover
of "Africa" by Toto.
Now it's almost like "Africa" is like their song
for a whole generation.
And this is kind of like their biggest hit in a while.
- So it has legs?
- It has legs, I think, right?
They're playing it on the radio.
Weezer's stock is way up.
We came across an interview that the guy from Toto
was quite pleased with us.
So that's the opposite.
That's paying tribute.
♪ I hear the drums echoing tonight ♪
♪ But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation ♪
♪ She's coming in 1230 flight ♪
♪ The moonlit wings reflect the stars ♪
♪ That guide me toward salvation ♪
♪ I stopped an old man along the way ♪
♪ Hoping to find some old forgotten words ♪
♪ Or ancient melodies ♪
♪ He turned to me as if to say ♪
♪ Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you ♪
♪ It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you ♪
♪ There's nothing that a hundred men or more ♪
♪ Could ever do ♪
♪ I've brushed the reins down and I've forgot ♪
♪ It'll take some time to do the things you never had ♪
- So anyway, in the spirit of Weezer's magnanimous gesture,
we're gonna do a very special top five
where we compare 2018, the year of Weezer Africa,
to 1983, the year that Toto's Africa hit number one
on the Billboard Top 100.
You ready for this?
- I'm ready.
- It's time for the top five, five on iTunes.
- The number five song in October, 1983,
Lionel Richie, "All Night Long."
- Oh.
- Just a classic.
- Starting on a high note here.
- It's a major tune.
- Huge.
- Also kind of a nod to world music,
similar to Toto's Africa.
- That's kind of interesting, like predating Graceland.
- Oh yeah, there was plenty of stuff happening
before Graceland.
♪ When my friends, the time is close ♪
♪ Raise the roof and have some fun ♪
♪ Throw away the work to be done ♪
- Throw away.
- And it's a very specifically has an African influence.
This is a good quote.
Richie explained to Q Magazine regarding the lyric,
"Tambo lite sete moja yo jombo jombo,"
said, "I called the UN and said,
"I need something African for the breakdown
"in the song I'm writing.
"They informed me that there were thousands
"of different African dialects.
"I couldn't believe it.
"One region doesn't have any idea
"what the other's talking about.
"So tambo lite sete moja, I made it up on the spot."
♪ Come on and say ♪
- I love that he called the UN.
♪ All night long ♪
♪ All night, all night ♪
♪ All night, all night long ♪
♪ All night, all night ♪
♪ All night, all night long ♪
- Lionel Richie, not just a great singer,
hell of a songwriter.
He's like wrote most of his hits.
- Oh yeah.
- And with the Commodores too.
- Absolutely.
- The number five song.
Now, by the way, remember we compared
the Billboard hits of the past
with the top five songs on iTunes.
So we're getting kind of a different flavor.
So I have a feeling we're getting quite a bit of this
'cause it's a very popular film.
I'll Never Love Again, Lady Gaga
from A Star Is Born soundtrack.
- Oh wow.
(soft music)
- Is this the, I guess you haven't seen the movie,
but the closing ballad?
- I don't know.
♪ I wish I could ♪
- When she was getting ready to film this scene,
she found out her childhood friend had just died.
Oof, that's heavy.
- Do you know what happens in the movie?
- No, I've already gotten too many spoilers today.
♪ I even cried for you ♪
♪ If I knew ♪
♪ It would be the last time ♪
- This kind of seems like a rewrite of I Will Always Love You.
♪ I broke my heart in two ♪
♪ Trying to save the part of you ♪
♪ Don't wanna feel another touch ♪
♪ Don't wanna start another fight ♪
- Yeah, I thought this was the weakest song in the film.
- So there's a lot of just full performances of songs.
- Not a lot.
- No, not a lot.
I've heard people call it a musical.
- No.
- It's not a musical.
- Not at all.
- It's an epic love story set in the world of music.
- This might be the only fully,
well, maybe the one of two fully
on a batch performances.
- Yeah.
- And everything else is,
you catch maybe half a song.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Get the idea.
The number four song, 1983.
- Yeah, this is a good idea.
- This is really strong, 1983.
- Yeah.
- Number four song, True by Spando Ballet.
Great song.
- Oh yeah.
- Hmm.
So sophisticated.
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
- You ever seen the documentary about Spando Ballet?
- No, what's the deal?
- It's pretty tight
'cause they're all like working class English guys
and they kind of interview them.
They're basically like, they're really young.
They're like in their early twenties
and they were kind of like,
'cause this song's like 83 and it's kind of like,
we started a punk band.
- Wow.
- Things moved very quickly.
So it was punk and then kind of like,
it was new romantic.
- Like how quickly did this shift happen?
- There were just so many styles happening.
So many like youth cultures, punk and goth
and new romantic and open new wave.
All these things were happening.
- Nine months, there was like a new sound.
- Kind of.
And then kind of they and Duran Duran break out
of that world with this kind of like,
almost like the opposite of punk.
- Like soft rock.
- Soft rock, sophisticated, wearing suits,
you know, like Duran Duran.
They said like their videos were like fancy.
And then just like, you know,
the bassist in the band just writes this like
beautiful jazz influenced modern pop song.
- Right.
- It's like a few years earlier,
these guys would have just been like punk rockers basically.
- So they were like 23 or something here?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I would have guessed these guys were like 30.
- No, they were like young heartthrobs at this point.
- This is the sound of my soul.
- That's really is the sound,
like the vocal sound of that era.
- It's great.
Back to 2018.
- I know you.
- Mia by Bad Bunny featuring Drake.
You heard of Bad Bunny before?
- No, pretty funny name.
- It's a cute name.
- A dude?
- Yeah.
(singing in foreign language)
- This is Bad right here?
That's Drake singing in Spanish?
Oh wow.
(singing in foreign language)
- What do they mean by Mia?
Seinfeld?
- Is it the woman's name?
- That's a good guess.
- Oh, this is in Spanish.
(laughing)
- Come on, man.
(singing in foreign language)
- Translate this page.
Let's translate.
- Oh my God.
Mia means mine.
Okay.
- How'd you crunch so fast?
- You studied Spanish?
- Oh my God.
- So what's it about?
- They're talking to a woman
who's the center of attention.
Everyone wants to have it,
but both remind her that she said she was theirs
and nobody else.
It's like the girl is mine, but.
- Sounds kind of controlling.
Oh, but you mean Bad Bunny and Drake
are just kind of like,
are they talking to each other in the song?
- It sounds like a girl has told both Bad Bunny and Drake
that she is theirs,
and then they're both like.
- Oh, so it's like.
- It's like the same girl.
- Same girl, same damn girl.
- I think it's like a Spanish same girl.
- So they're talking to each other,
being like, that girl said she was yours,
she told me she was mine.
- Oh, and it looks like in the chorus.
- Bad Bunny's like, Drake,
I didn't know you was fluent in Spanish.
♪ Went to Georgia Tech ♪
♪ Works at TBS ♪
- Great song.
- Yeah.
- Looks like one of the lines is,
in English, tell him that you are mine.
So Drake is like telling the girl like,
hey, tell Bad Bunny, like, you're my girl.
And then the other one's like,
no, you tell Drake that.
- That you're my girl.
Like, I'm putting the responsibility on her.
- And she's like, you guys are on the same song together.
I'm not even on the song.
If you're on the same song with somebody,
you're kind of like being in the same room as them.
Maybe they're like texting her.
They ran into each other in the same song.
And then like trying to hash it out.
- The Bad Bunny U.
- Bad Bunny Universe.
- Yeah.
- The BBU.
- It's considered canon in the BBU
that Drake is at the very least conversant in Spanish.
Drake can communicate some basic ideas,
including which girls belong to him in Spanish.
In the OVO universe,
it was widely understood that Drake could only speak English
but in the BBU, he has one additional power, which is.
- Almost being bilingual.
- Almost being bilingual.
Speaking of duets.
- Cool.
- When we go back to 1983, 1983 is killing it so far.
- Wow, wow.
- So far we've had All Night Long Lionel Richie.
Then we had True by Spandau Ballet.
- Two classics.
- And number three, another classic.
And this is a duet just like Bad Bunny and Drake.
Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton, Islands in the Stream.
- You're killing me here.
- Now people from my generation, is this true for you, Jake?
That before I knew Islands in the Stream, I knew.
- Yeah.
♪ Get a superstar, that is what you are ♪
- Yeah, that's what I knew first too.
And that was like, when was that?
Like mid 90s?
- 98, late 90s.
- Yeah, okay, 98.
- From the Bulworth soundtrack.
- From the Bulworth soundtrack.
- Or 80s.
- So this song was only 15 years old at this point.
- Yeah, already forgotten in the 80s to 90s transition.
- It kinda was.
♪ Baby when I met you there was peace on earth ♪
♪ I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb ♪
♪ I was holding tight ♪
- Fine tooth comb.
♪ There was something going on ♪
- This song's written by the Bee Gees.
Barry Robin and Maurice Gibb.
- I was wondering about that,
'cause it's on the pop country continuum.
It's definitely leading pop.
- Very much.
- Did they record it?
- Later they did.
- Wow.
- This is the original though.
♪ Laying every beat of my heart ♪
♪ We got something going on ♪
- I like that, that little funky guitar.
♪ Tell me love is blind ♪
- Oh yeah, this part is so Bee Gees.
- Oh yeah, this is so Bee Gees.
♪ All this love we feel needs no conversation ♪
♪ We're all in this together ♪
♪ Making love with each other ♪
♪ Islands in the stream ♪
♪ That is what we are ♪
♪ Coming from afar ♪
- You're getting confused with the, yeah, get a superstar.
♪ Every way we meet to another world ♪
- 'Cause this part's different.
♪ And we rely on each other ♪
♪ From one lover to another ♪
- God, there's so many parts to this song.
- Yeah.
- Classic Bee Gees, intricate writing.
Oh, another part here.
- Is that key change?
- Oh yeah.
Oh no, oh, it's the same part, it's just a key change.
♪ God know what I needed walking tonight ♪
♪ Slowly losing sight ♪
- They bumped it up so Donny could really shine up there.
- Yeah, Donny's, Donny.
- Donny.
- Donny's just killing it.
- I'm Donny Parton.
- Yeah, Tali's lesser known brother, Donny.
♪ And we got no way out ♪
♪ And the message is clear ♪
♪ This could be the year for the real thing ♪
♪ No more will you cry ♪
- What happened to Kenny Rogers Roasters?
- Out of business.
- So that wasn't made up.
- I remember dining there in 1995.
- Oh, was it good?
- No.
Pretty short-lived.
- Interesting.
♪ Making love with each other ♪
♪ Islands in the stream ♪
♪ That is what we are ♪
♪ Coming from me ♪
♪ Love and bitter ♪
- I've always wondered about this song.
And I feel like I looked it up once
and I got no satisfaction.
What do they mean when they say islands in the stream?
What are the actual lyrics?
Islands in the stream.
- Mean like we're alone?
Like, I am a rock.
♪ I am an island ♪
- Are they almost saying like,
is it kind of like two ships passing in the night?
- Apparently it was inspired by
Ernest Hemingway's novel of the same title.
- Wow.
- But here's the thing.
If you just told me there's a love song duet
or whatever called Islands in the Stream,
you said, what is it about?
My first guess would be like,
well, if you're two islands in a stream,
means you're not connected.
- Right.
- It means that maybe occasionally
you make love with each other,
you ride it together,
but at the end of the day,
you're two just separate islands.
But that's not really what the song is about
'cause it's Islands in the Stream,
that is what we are.
No one in between.
There's always something between two islands, right?
That's kind of the definition.
There's some stream. - Water.
- There's a little stream.
- Yeah.
- Islands in the stream, that is what we are.
No one in between.
How can we be wrong?
I just told you how you could be wrong.
I think it was a weird thing to say.
Sail away with me to another world.
This is the epitome of crazy mixed metaphor.
I love it, but it's a crazy mix.
Islands can't sail away.
Guess they're not islands anymore.
Guess that metaphor is done.
Sail away with me to another world
and we rely on each other, aha.
From one lover to another, aha.
Okay, from one lover to another.
Is this thing that they're each other's
like long-term booty call?
- Wow.
I think that's too specific a read.
- But we rely on each other, aha.
From one lover, oh, are they're saying from me to you?
- Yeah.
- Okay, that does make sense.
I always thought of it as like a really weird song
that's kind of just like,
every few years I end up having sex with you.
- Passing through town and you were.
- Even though we're both married to two different people.
I almost imagined it was like people,
I'm picturing it's like Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers.
You know, they've each gone through
like five marriages or some (beep)
but every time they see each other at the CMT Awards,
it's on.
- It's on.
(laughing)
- And it's just like this.
- Slips in like, subtly slips in the key.
- Right.
- The key card to her room at the Hilton.
- Tender love is blind.
It requires dedication.
All this love we feel needs no conversation.
That's like backstage at the CMT Awards.
They just lock eyes.
Not a word spoken.
- 1981, CMT Awards.
- 1981, it's their third decade.
- Oh my God.
- Of this shameful affair.
All this love we feel needs no conversation.
We ride it together, aha, making love with the tracks.
From one lover to another, aha.
I think it's almost like they were each other's
just like dirty, shameful affair.
And they're like reaching this point.
They're each on their fifth marriage
and they're just like,
we've been bouncing from one lover to another
but we always keep coming back to each other.
We got that kind of special CMT Awards backstage 1980 love
that requires no conversation.
And here we are, we ain't getting no younger.
Should we just cut this (beep) and get together?
Should we just run away together, sell away?
Maybe that's what this song is about.
- It's like Brokeback Mountain.
- Kind of.
- Hetero.
- Yeah.
- Hetero, broke back, it makes no sense but.
(laughing)
At the end of that movie, this is so tortured.
They're on year 20 of this affair
and it's just like so brutal.
- They wish that they could sell away together.
Get away from this (beep) charade.
Anyway, it's a great song
and the fact that it's kind of hard to interpret
only makes that much more fun to listen to and talk about.
The number three song in 2018,
Marshmello and Bastille, "Happier".
♪ Lately I've been, I've been thinking ♪
♪ I want you to be happier ♪
♪ I want you to be happier ♪
- Did we catch these guys last time?
- Yes.
♪ And we see what we've become ♪
♪ In the cold light of day we're a flame in the wind ♪
♪ Not the fire that we begun ♪
♪ Every argument, every word we can't take back ♪
♪ 'Cause with all that has happened ♪
♪ I think that we both know the way that this all began ♪
- So this is the relationships become all (beep) up.
♪ Then only for a minute ♪
♪ I want to change my mind ♪
♪ 'Cause this just don't feel right to me ♪
♪ I wanna raise your spirits ♪
♪ I want to see you smile ♪
♪ Know that means I'll have to leave ♪
♪ Know that means I'll have to leave ♪
- So this kinda has a similar theme.
I'll be honest, I don't enjoy the song quite as much,
but this actually has a similar theme
to one of the greatest songs ever,
which is written by Dolly Parton, "I Will Always Love You".
I'm sure we've talked about this on "Time Crisis" before,
but just such a unique message
that so many songs are about,
I love you and we're happy together.
Other songs are about breaking up
and I don't like you anymore, you did me dirty.
And this song sounds like happier,
is basically saying, I want you to be happier,
and the only way that's gonna happen is if I leave.
And that reminds me a lot of,
♪ If I stay here with you ♪
I actually don't remember the lyrics.
- Pretty good Dolly there, dude.
- What are the lyrics?
- I don't know.
♪ Bittersweet memories ♪
♪ Oh, that's all I'll be taking ♪
♪ With me ♪
- There's a really sad part of that song
when she's like, ♪ I would only get in your way ♪
Is that kind of what happens in "A Star is Born"?
There's probably a part where they're just like,
Allie, it's not good for your brand
to be married to Jackson Maine anymore.
- A cartoonishly evil and manipulative pop music manager.
If there's a weak link in the film, it's this--
- He's not that bad.
He's like a compla--
- Not really.
- He didn't seem like too much of a villain.
- Is it Paul Giamatti?
- I wish.
- It should have been.
- That would have been amazing.
- Allie, come on.
(laughing)
You gotta think about your career.
- That's a great Paul.
- Thank you.
- It'd be funny if in "A Star is Born,"
they just have, what's his name, Jerry?
Jerry from the NWA movie?
- Jerry Heller.
- Jerry Heller.
They just like, playing with fact and fiction,
it's just Jerry Heller like,
"Allie, listen, I went through the same thing
"with Eazy-E and Ice Cube.
"These guys aren't your friends, you gotta trust me.
"Allie, do you trust me?
"Jackson is not your friend.
"I wonder when Eazy-E died,
"I lost one of the best friends of my life,
"and I promised myself I would look out
"for the next artist that I worked with."
- "A Star is Born" is part of the NWACU?
- Yeah.
- Jerry's--
- Yeah, straight out of "Compton 2," "A Star is Born."
Every movie is Jerry Heller,
just kinda getting in between other group dynamics.
(gentle music)
This is the best song I've ever written
about kind of breakup, 'cause it's just such a unique tone.
She knows she just can't stay.
♪ If I should stay ♪
♪ I would only be in your way ♪
♪ So I'll go ♪
♪ But I will always love you ♪
- There's quite a few country songs--
- With the same thing.
- On this lyrical tip.
♪ I will love you each step of the way ♪
♪ And I will always love you ♪
♪ I will always love you ♪
- This is almost like the first time
she and Kenny Rogers broke up to go back to their spouses.
- CMT awards '74.
- '74.
Kenny, we can't keep doing this.
♪ That's all I am taking with me ♪
♪ Goodbye, please don't cry ♪
- Don't cry, Kenny.
♪ We both know that I'm not what you need ♪
♪ I will always love you ♪
♪ I will always love you ♪
- This is a great version.
This is the original version.
- Yeah, I don't think I'm that familiar with it.
- Oh, really?
Well, you know the Whitney Houston, of course.
- Of course.
- I'm pretty sure this is the original.
- It sounds like it.
It sounds like it's from the '70s.
I mean, let's face it.
♪ Very tasteful palette ♪
- Yeah, I mean, then this was the '90s.
Forget about it.
♪ If I should stay ♪
- This is a tasteful version, too.
- Yeah.
Even slower.
♪ I'll only be in your way ♪
♪ Your way ♪
- What are the connections between
the bodyguard and A Star is Born?
They're kind of similar in a way.
- You know, they were seeing the bodyguard,
but Hannah brought this up.
- Oh, really?
So it's a thing.
- Yeah.
- People in the streets are talking about this.
I was thinking it'd be Bradley Cooper's like,
and for my directorial debut,
I'm remaking the bodyguard with me and Lady Gaga.
- Oh my God.
- And then everybody's like, that's gonna,
it'd be the same thing.
Everybody's like, that's gonna suck.
And then they're like, it's the best movie of the year.
- Very powerful.
- Bradley Cooper's The Bodyguard.
Or how sick would it be if that's his next movie?
- Oh, that would be if he just did remakes of like,
(laughing)
- Music movies? - Romantic dramas?
- Romantic music dramas.
- That's a short list, sort of, but.
- Bradley Cooper and Rihanna.
Star in Bradley Cooper's The Bodyguard.
- That would rule.
- Bradley Cooper and Rihanna in The Bodyguard
is pretty tight.
(soft music)
- Rihanna just murdering this song.
♪ With me ♪
♪ So goodbye ♪
♪ Please don't cry ♪
♪ We both know I'm not what you, you need ♪
♪ And I ♪
♪ Will always love you ♪
- Imagine if Bradley Cooper just remade
like four Kevin Costner films in a row.
Just like remade the, like, Feel the Dreams.
- That'd be very 2018.
- What's your relationship with Kevin?
- Never met him.
- But why do you choose to remake
so many of his movies?
Coincidence.
I choose the movies first, I look at who was in it later.
Let's see, back to '83.
The number two song, Air Supply,
Making Love Out of Nothing at All.
Okay, we maybe finally hit a dud.
(soft music)
We had quite a run though.
Lionel Richie, Spandau, Kenny.
- I'm listening with open heart here though,
because I love my Air Supply power ballads,
and this sounds like one.
- Oh, this song's written by Jim Steinman,
who I love.
- Who's that?
- He wrote all the great Meatloaf songs,
and he wrote some real heat for Celine Dion.
♪ I know just how to whisper ♪
♪ And I know just how to cry ♪
♪ And I know just where to find the answers ♪
♪ And I know just how to ♪
- Ooh, some of the E Street Band playing on this,
Max Weinberg and Roy Bitton.
♪ And I know just how to fake it ♪
♪ And I know just how to scheme ♪
- Oh, what am I talking about?
Jim Steinman wrote one of the best songs of all time,
Total Eclipse of the Heart.
- Oh wow, okay.
- He's like the king of spooky power ballads.
- Right.
♪ And I know just where to touch you ♪
♪ And I know just what to prove ♪
- Prove?
♪ And I know when to pull you closer ♪
♪ And I know when to let you lose ♪
♪ And I know the night is fading ♪
♪ And I know the time's gonna fly ♪
♪ And I'm never gonna tell you everything ♪
♪ I gotta tell you but I know I gotta give it a try ♪
♪ And I know the roads to riches ♪
♪ And I know the ways to make it ♪
- You're like a Roy Orbison song
where he just keeps going higher and higher.
- Exactly.
♪ And I know ♪
- More like Unchained Melody.
- Yep.
- Righteous Brothers.
♪ But I don't know how to leave you ♪
- Ooh.
♪ And I'll never let you fall ♪
♪ And I don't know how you do it ♪
♪ Make it come out of nothing at all ♪
- They never hit that huge chorus on this one though.
- I would say that this--
- It's missing a chorus.
- Yeah, to me this is like a B-minus version.
- I mean--
- Of Total Eclipse of the Heart.
Same writer, no disrespect.
- Did Jim Simon write,
♪ I'm all out of love ♪
♪ I'm so lost without you ♪
That huge air supply hit?
- Well, actually maybe.
- Worth looking into.
Oh, this is huge.
- It's so similar.
I think it's also the same dude
from Bruce Springsteen playing on this.
- Roy Baton?
- I said bitten, maybe it's Baton.
♪ Every now and then I get a little bit tired ♪
♪ Of listening to the sound of my tears ♪
♪ Every now and then I get a little bit nervous ♪
♪ That the best of all the years have gone by ♪
- No, he didn't write All Out of Love.
- Yeah, this song has like so many parts.
- And they're all just like perfect.
- Oh, this part.
♪ Look in your eyes ♪
♪ Bright eyes ♪
♪ Every now and then I fall apart ♪
- How's it gonna get any better
than Turn Around Bright Eyes?
Like that would be the chorus of most songs.
- I wonder if this is the namesake of the band, Bright Eyes.
- Probably.
Oh, there's also a Art Garfunkel song called Bright Eyes.
♪ Every now and then I get a little bit helpless ♪
♪ And I'm lying like a child ♪
- Who did this version?
Who is this?
- Her name's Bonnie Tyler.
- Okay.
♪ Every now and then I get a little bit angry ♪
♪ And I know I've got to get out of my head ♪
- I like her voice, kinda has some rasp.
- Oh yeah.
♪ Every now and then I get a little bit terrified ♪
♪ But then I see the look in your eyes ♪
♪ Turn around bright eyes ♪
♪ Every now and then I fall apart ♪
- Jesus, this song is seven minutes long.
♪ Every now and then I fall apart ♪
♪ And I need you now ♪
- Like this is kinda the most emotional part of the song.
We're almost at two minutes
and we haven't even gotten the title of the song yet.
♪ We'll be holding on forever ♪
♪ And we'll only be made easier ♪
- This is what's crazy.
- Expert craftsmanship here.
- It's like this feels like the biggest part.
♪ Together we can take it to the end of the line ♪
♪ Love is like a shadow on me all of the time ♪
♪ All of the time ♪
♪ I don't know what to do when I'm always in the dark ♪
♪ We're living in a power that can't get enough ♪
♪ Oh, I really need you tonight ♪
♪ Forever's gonna start tonight ♪
♪ Forever's gonna start tonight ♪
- Like a lesser songwriter would have just called the song
like "Forever's Gonna Start Tonight"
and then you get this part, holy (beep)
come on. - Yeah.
♪ There's nothing I can do ♪
♪ A total eclipse of the heart ♪
- I wonder how long he worked on this song for
if this was like a real--
- Like if you wrote the parts separately and kind of--
- Yeah, if he like,
if it was a real like flush of inspiration
where he had these like,
actually I have this other part from three years ago
that's been sitting around.
I didn't, I mean, he's kind of like cobbled together
and just got lucky.
Wow. - Three minutes deep.
- Only bummer about this song is like,
it's like your staple of like 2 a.m. drunk karaoke.
- Right. - A little rough.
- That kind of takes the gleam off the rose.
I'm just like fully disregarding the top five today.
- No shots fired at the song,
it's just sort of, it took on that association.
- Office party, 2 a.m.
- Right.
♪ Turn around bright eyes ♪
- Another great Jim Steinman song.
You know, it's also,
his best songs like in like the Meatloaf one,
I mean, he wrote,
♪ I would do anything for love ♪
- One thing I noticed is like,
especially 'cause it's interesting
'cause he wasn't the artist
but his songs had such a specific style
that you watch the videos for all these different songs
that he wrote for different artists,
they always take place in like abandoned castles
with like candles everywhere.
It's just like the sound,
so that Meatloaf video,
the total eclipse of the heart takes place
in this like crazy English boarding school.
There's like a lot of candles. - Really?
- And then there's this one from the 90s,
very similar vibe that he wrote for Celine Dion.
So dramatic.
- I don't know if I know this one.
- I love this song.
- Oh.
♪ If I can ♪
- Yeah, yeah.
♪ If I touch you like this ♪
- Was this in a movie?
- Could have been.
- Did he write that Titanic song for Celine?
- No.
(gentle music)
Wind sound effects in the track.
- This is so deep.
Nice patient intro here.
Good 90 seconds in before vocals come in.
(gentle music)
- She's so dramatic.
♪ There were nights when the wind ♪
- Wow.
- It's coming in at you.
- Yeah, she's coming out of the gates hot.
- Oh, then she takes it down.
- Then she takes it.
♪ I just listen to it right outside the window ♪
♪ There were days when the sun was so blue ♪
- Yeah, this is a good one.
- This was originally written for Meat Loaf
and there was a lawsuit over it
where Steinman blocked Meat Loaf from recording it
because it was a girl song.
- Oh.
- It's also a cover.
- Oh, he wrote it originally for a different group, right.
- Pandora's Box.
♪ I can't remember where I went or how ♪
♪ I banished every memory you and I had ever made ♪
♪ When you touch me like this ♪
♪ And you hold me like that ♪
♪ I just have to admit ♪
- Wait, what was the song that we
clicked on in the top five?
- Air Supply, "Making Love Out of Nothing At All."
- Wasn't there a lyric in there too about like,
♪ And I touch you like that ♪
- Yeah, very similar.
- Someone touching someone like that.
- Like that.
♪ It's all coming back to me ♪
♪ It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me ♪
- Jesus, this song is seven minutes, 39 seconds.
- He's kind of like a soft rock, like, prog artist.
- Oh yeah, totally.
- It's just like, every song is like eight parts.
All these crazy key changes.
♪ I'd never do again ♪
♪ But then they'd always seem right ♪
♪ They were nights of endless pleasure ♪
- He's losing me here.
♪ He was more than any loss in love ♪
♪ Baby, baby, I'm back to you like this ♪
- Oh yeah, that's classic.
♪ And if you whisper like that ♪
♪ It was not for long ♪
- Is this like maracas?
- Yeah, it's like clavinets.
- Right.
- Or no, what am I saying?
- I think you got it.
Like those Spanish wood blocks?
- No, clavinets are keyboard,
I don't know what I'm talking about.
- Oh, block and spiel?
- No, no, like the Spanish thing.
♪ And it's all coming back to me ♪
♪ I can barely recall ♪
♪ But it's all coming back to me now ♪
- The number two song back in 2018,
another "Star is Born" song.
Okay, Lady Gaga, "Always Remember Us This Way."
Is this a good one?
- I don't remember.
♪ There there is summer sky ♪
- Another ballad.
♪ Burning in your eyes ♪
♪ You look at me ♪
♪ And babe I wanna catch on fire ♪
- I think this is when her career is starting to take off.
Right, Seinfeld?
Does that make sense?
- Yeah.
I'm surprised they didn't do like a Chris Gaines thing
where Lady Gaga did a full album in character.
- This is the album.
- In reality, not in the--
- Yeah.
Like they put it in like--
- "Star is Born."
- Yeah.
♪ So I'm a little choked up ♪
♪ But I'll get by the words ♪
♪ Every time we say goodbye baby it hurts ♪
♪ When the sun goes down ♪
- Oh yeah, this part.
♪ And the band won't play ♪
♪ I'll always remember us this way ♪
♪ Lovers in the night ♪
- Holy (beep)
Oh my God.
Number one?
You're not gonna believe this.
Air supply?
I started looking ahead to number one.
The number one song this week.
- Give me a hint.
- In 1983.
- Big hit?
- Oh yeah.
- Thriller?
- I mean, this is crazy.
I swear I didn't see this before.
- MJ?
- Listen to what it is.
(soft music)
- What?
- Total Eclipse of the Heart.
- No way!
- Yo!
- Simon.
- Whoa.
- Killing it.
- Simon had the number one and number two song.
Okay, this is a hell of a top five.
- Okay.
- This is one for the books.
(soft music)
We're just gonna listen again.
(soft music)
- That's the best.
(soft music)
♪ Turn around ♪
(soft music)
- Wonder what Bonnie Tyler's story was.
Was she in some like,
kind of like heart style,
like seventies rock band?
Her voice is like a lot of character to it.
- She's a Welsh singer.
- Didn't expect that.
(soft music)
♪ Turn around ♪
(soft music)
- Made her first professional recording appearance
on a Fairport convention album.
When you gonna see that?
- Let's see.
She was spotted in 1975,
singing with her band in the Townsman Club in Swansea.
- Wow.
- She was invited to come to London,
record a demo track.
Her real name is Gaynor Hopkins.
- Hmm.
- And her Star is Born style manager said,
you gotta change that damn name.
- I got it, Bonnie Tyler.
- She just looked through a bunch of names
in a newspaper, first and last names
and came up with Bonnie Tyler.
♪ And I'll take a look in your eyes ♪
♪ Right eye, right eye ♪
♪ Every now and then I fall apart ♪
♪ Right eye, right eye ♪
♪ Every now and then I fall apart ♪
♪ And I need you now tonight ♪
♪ And I need you more than ever ♪
♪ And if you only hold me tight ♪
♪ We'll be holding on forever ♪
♪ And we'll only be making it right ♪
♪ 'Cause we'll never be wrong ♪
- This is a good direction for Lady Gaga.
She started dropping like a seven minute
Jim Steinman style.
- She's just gotta get the songs.
- They don't write them like this anymore.
- Who's gonna write that?
You are, dude.
- Who could write, let's see, what?
It's like a fun thought experiment.
- Kevin Parker from Tame Impala.
- Right.
- I don't know.
- Or like maybe, I don't know anything about this band,
but that band Fun, they had that one hit
with that really crazy chorus.
- That in a way.
- That is like, like that's a similar kind of mode.
- Although that band broke up.
- Right, but if that--
- Jack Antonoff though.
- Did he write that?
Or was it the other guy?
- I'm sure they're all credited as writing it together.
We don't know.
- He came up with that vocal melody.
Should start writing songs for Gaga.
- I'm guessing that was the singer,
but I don't really know.
- Yeah.
- Nate.
♪ And now there's only love in the dark ♪
♪ Nothing I can say ♪
♪ Totally clips of the heart ♪
- Maybe Fun's gotta reunite
to actually make the total clips of the heart
for the modern day.
(rock music)
- More bomb sound effects.
- I wonder if the dude from the Shins,
if he sat down with the assignment
to write a song like this, if he could do it.
- I think very few people on earth could, man.
- Yeah, no, it's rarefied air.
I'm just thinking of people that--
- If they could, they would.
- Well.
♪ Turn around ♪
♪ Turn around ♪
♪ Bright eyes ♪
♪ Turn around ♪
♪ Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy ♪
♪ You always wanted to be ♪
♪ Turn around ♪
♪ Every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy ♪
♪ Who wanted me the way that I have ♪
♪ Turn around ♪
♪ Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe ♪
♪ As magical as one to be ♪
- No one in the universe.
- Wow.
♪ Every now and then I know there's nothing any better ♪
♪ Than nothing that I just wouldn't do ♪
♪ Turn around ♪
♪ Bright eyes ♪
♪ Every now and then I fall apart ♪
- Oh, yeah. - Wow.
- Killing it.
♪ Turn around ♪
♪ Every now and then I'm so the boy ♪
♪ And I need you now tonight ♪
- Awkward long fell.
♪ And I need you more than ever ♪
♪ And if you hold me, hold me tight ♪
♪ We'll be holding on forever ♪
♪ And we'll only be making it right ♪
♪ 'Cause we'll never be wrong ♪
♪ Together we can take it to the end of the line ♪
♪ Love is like a shadow on me all of the time ♪
♪ I don't know what to do ♪
♪ I'm always at the door ♪
♪ Living in a mirror ♪
- Today's episode included about 12 to 13 minutes
of total clips in our, oh, it gets so big.
♪ I'm never gonna stop tonight ♪
♪ I'm never gonna stop tonight ♪
- You know who could maybe write songs like this for Gaga?
- Who?
- You're not gonna like it.
- Who? - Corgan.
- (laughs) What?
- He could.
I'm just thinking of like--
- I mean, you're right, his (beep) in the '90s
kinda had some of this flavor.
- I doubt he'd want to.
- You know, I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna sit down
and see if I can come up with a Jim Stineman type song.
- So am I. - All right.
- We'll compare notes in two weeks.
- Maybe we'll come up with enough parts to put together.
We can be a co-write.
- Wait, should we share the same lyrical theme?
- Well, you know what it is?
- So then we're both writing songs for--
- These songs always have like the big chorus,
or the chorus whenever you finally get to the real chorus.
It always has some like, you know,
it's all coming back to me now, total eclipse.
We need like a line like that.
- Right.
- The hallmark of these songs is taking like
something pretty normal, like a breakup or something,
and truly taking it to like this epic level.
- Right.
- To a prog rock level of epic, like.
- Yeah.
- So like this is total eclipse of the heart,
like, you know, some like force of nature type thing.
- Yeah, you can't do like love earthquake,
or like it's hurricane breakup.
- Clash of the, what's that (beep)
like iPhone game they always advertise on TV?
Clash of the clans or something?
- I think that's it, yeah.
- Clash of clans of the heart.
Game of Thrones lover, Dragonheart.
What if Lady Gaga came out with a seven minute
prog power ballad called Dragonheart,
first single off the next album?
- That would be sick.
- So like maybe something like, maybe Dragonheart.
- Okay, okay, well both of our songs are called Dragonheart.
- The final season of Game of Thrones is coming up, so.
- Oh cool.
- We know that's coming.
- But it's like a power ballad, it's not.
- You gotta think, well it's like one of these.
- Yeah, yeah, it's not like, Dragonheart, it's like a, yeah.
- We gotta follow the Jim Steinman model,
that's kinda like, you think it's the chorus,
it's this really big part.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Dragonheart.
- Okay, yeah.
- You start, and then in the knock,
and then I was in the dark,
and then in the dark, my Dragonheart.
- Wow.
- Oh, I got another idea.
If it was like a seven minute prog ballad,
that's also called like Armageddon,
just like some end of the world (beep).
That's also (beep) that's very apropos,
because the world's ending.
- In 20 years, right?
- Yeah, in 20 years, so everybody knows that, just like.
- Well we got 20 years left,
gonna go get a cup of coffee.
- Did I tell you that--
- I don't want a Chipotle.
- I think I've told this story on Time Crisis before,
that there was a big movie with Bruce Willis
in the late 90s called Armageddon.
- Oh yeah.
- And there was posters for it everywhere,
and I remember there was this kid,
my high school told me,
man, you know how there's that movie,
and there are like posters everywhere,
and you kept like reading about it?
Until the movie came out,
I kept thinking it was called Armageddon.
It's actually pronounced Armageddon,
and I was like, oh yeah, I knew that.
- Armageddon.
- And he was like, yeah, I don't know,
I thought it was Armageddon.
And then I saw from his point of view,
I'm like-- - That's a sick band name.
- Armageddon, and I was also kind of thinking,
if you're unfamiliar with the word,
we also grew up in the 90s,
everybody's obsessed with dinosaurs.
- Oh yeah. - And if it was a dinosaur,
it probably would be pronounced Armageddon,
so I'm like, yeah, don't beat yourself up.
Armageddon.
But also, this is where my stupid sense of humor,
that's probably gonna just (beep) up
this whole Lady Gaga deal, kicks in,
is that actually--
- We're skating on thin ice with this deal.
- We're skating on thin ice with Gaga.
Although she's (beep) cool, man, I've always liked her.
But I was thinking that, you know,
Dragonheart is one thing,
but it would also be kind of tight
if it was a seven minute power ballad,
spelled Armageddon,
but in the song she just keeps saying Armageddon.
And then there's writing about it,
like it's a beautiful song,
harkening back to some of the best of Jim Steinman.
One thing that threw this reviewer was
the fact that she pronounces the word Armageddon
and it seems, you know,
kind of some weird poetic license happening.
But maybe it's about a dinosaur.
(laughing)
Darn.
♪ And I wanna stay in this gown ♪
♪ And I'm gonna name this Armageddon ♪
(laughing)
♪ Baby I'll always love you ♪
♪ And I'll always love you 'til the day I die ♪
No, but it's got around the dot.
♪ And I'm gonna love you 'til the glacier's gone ♪
♪ Holding your hand through this Armageddon ♪
(laughing)
Brutal.
♪ Here we are now getting roasted by the sun ♪
♪ Looking for shade in this Armageddon ♪
Yeah, some people are like thrown by it.
Some people are like, this song (beep) sucks.
She didn't even pronounce it correctly.
And then you just got like the most hardcore,
like critics being just like,
Gaga's genius in reinterpreting the pronunciation
of the word Armageddon to further underscore
the pain and the dissolution of the world as we know it.
Yet another example of why she'll be an artist
who will be, you know.
She'll be the last artist remembered by humanity.
(laughing)
Wouldn't that be crazy if it was like in 2040s
and it was sort of like,
yeah, this is the last Academy Awards.
Oh God.
This is it, last Grammys.
Let's do some Lifetime Awards.
That's a good idea for Lady Gaga song.
Or maybe that's more of a Lana Del Rey song.
Last Grammys.
Last Grammys, dude.
♪ Oh where, oh where can my baby be ♪
Just a song about breaking up at the last Grammys.
Tensions were running high at the last Grammys.
Me and my partner got in a fight.
Three months later, we were dead.
God.
Or Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers at the last CMT.
Last CMT Awards.
The last CMT Awards.
Best picture at the final Academy Awards.
A Star is Born to Our Magadon.
Bradley Cooper up there just like.
When I first came up with this idea for a sequel,
Stars Born to Our Magadon,
I never thought it'd be real life, but here we are.
I didn't even believe in global warming back then.
Oh God.
It wasn't until Trump's fourth term
that I finally took a good hard look at the Republicans
and I said, you guys are nuts.
And that's when I sat down and wrote this movie.
And I want to thank President Kushner for all his support.
I also just picture.
Classic TC.
I was just picturing like,
what would the tone at the last Academy Awards be?
Can you also just imagine
just some totally insane narcissist winning best actor
and just being like, what we do is important.
Art is important.
Art.
Art changes lives.
Art has the power to change the world.
Perhaps it didn't change this world enough,
but God damn it, we tried.
And may I say to the Academy,
how incredibly honored I am
to win the final Best Actor Academy Award.
To everyone who paved the way for me,
Brad Pitt, Sidney Poitier, Tom Hanks, I salute you.
And as I here on the world stage bid the audience adieu.
Just like some extended metaphor.
And as the house lights go on,
the crowd walks home, the stage hands.
Put away the set for the final time.
I don't know.
Final Academy Awards.
Curtain call, dude.
Curtain call.
For the Academy and humanity.
Yeah.
All the world is a stage.
And now we must exit.
Gracefully exit.
Not so gracefully exit.
And then like after,
like everyone going to like the Vanity Fair,
like bunker party.
Jesus.
Is that basically what's already happening now?
Just blew your mind.
Oh.
We're already in a bunker, man.
You hear that like the super wealthy are all about bunkers.
I was like, that's not a good sign.
Anyway, the total eclipse of the heart for 2018,
the number one song on iTunes right now,
Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper,
From A Star is Born to Armageddon.
The song's called Shallow.
To Armageddon.
This song's dope.
This is kind of the best song in the movie.
Yeah, I think so.
It's kind of gives me like an extreme vibe.
Oh yeah.
More than words.
♪ Tell me something girl ♪
♪ Are you happy in this modern world ♪
Modern world.
I think our boy,
one of the first guests on TC, Mark Ronson,
probably gonna win an Oscar for this.
Oh, tight.
And Andrew Wyatt.
He wrote it?
Yeah, it's written by,
I don't know if they have some weird limit,
but it's written by Lady Gaga, Andrew Wyatt,
Anthony Rossamondo, and Mark Ronson.
All right.
♪ And in the bad times I fear myself ♪
(guitar music)
♪ Tell me something boy ♪
♪ Aren't you tired trying to fill that void ♪
♪ Or do you need more ♪
This song has a real build to it.
Yeah.
♪ Ain't it hard keeping it so hardcore ♪
♪ I'm falling ♪
They filmed one of the scenes in the movie
where they're sort of like writing this song together.
They filmed in the parking lot of this grocery store
right next to my studio.
Really?
Yeah, it's Super A over in San Fernando.
Oh, by the way, we got an email
from a friend of the show, Daniel Ralston.
Just right now?
No, no, I got this a while ago
'cause he was listening
and I said how this song reminded me of Pink Floyd.
Oh yeah.
I think it sort of rips the another brick
goodbye blue sky motif in the middle section.
Just thought I'd throw that out there.
Well, let's dive in for 40 minutes and investigate.
♪ We're far from the shallow now ♪
♪ In the shallow, shallow ♪
♪ In the shallow, shallow ♪
This part also kind of reminds me of Springsteen.
♪ In the shallow ♪
♪ In the shallow ♪
Yeah, it's like rising era.
Yeah, yeah, right.
♪ Now ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪
It's tight, the song has so many different sections.
Yeah.
This art is kind of like her dragon heart.
This part of the song is like very 80s power ballad.
♪ Break the ground ♪
♪ Crash the sunbursts ♪
♪ When they can't hurt us ♪
♪ We're far from the shallow now ♪
♪ In the shallow, shallow ♪
♪ In the shallow, shallow ♪
♪ In the shallow, shallow ♪
♪ We're far from the shallow now ♪
Tight.
How long is that song?
Is that under three?
It's only 336.
I would say there's some real synergy
between the two number ones today,
Shallow and Total Clips of the Heart.
They both like build and have a big bump, bump, bump, bump
part, but she still could use a seven minute song
that has a little more like fantasy elements,
like dragon heart.
There's a video game series called Kingdom Hearts.
That'd be a sick name.
It's like, what the does that mean?
But it just sounds like.
Kingdom Hearts.
There's a seven minute Lady Gaga song called Kingdom Hearts.
I think that's, that should be our one.
I'm a game dude.
♪ These kingdom hearts ♪
Similar to like how it like turn around bright eyes.
It's like evocative and like makes you feel something,
but you're like, what does that mean?
Why is she calling him bright eyes?
Who is bright eyes?
- I think it's a song that's co-written
with James Hetfield.
Like one of those like Metallica ballads, like.
♪ And nothing else matters ♪
♪ To the kingdom hearts ♪
♪ Matters ♪
♪ Kingdom hearts ♪
♪ Kingdom hearts ♪
♪ Kingdom hearts ♪
♪ These kingdom hearts ♪
- Oh my God.
And if Lady Gaga doesn't want to,
we'll give it to whoever else wants
to be the Bonnie Tyler of 2019.
All right.
Another successful Time Crisis.
We wrote three great songs for Lady Gaga.
- We talked to Mac from Pluckers for about 45 minutes.
- We gotta start doing a Time Crisis uncut
'cause this episode easily could have been four hours.
Anyway, we'll see you guys in two weeks.
Thanks for listening.
- Time Crisis with Ezra King.
♪ One ♪
(explosion)
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