Episode 80: A Star Is Born 2: Armageddon
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Transcript
Time Crisis, back again. Today Jake and I are joined in the studio by two very
special guests. Hannah Fidel, director of The Long Dumb Road, and Jason Manzoukas,
star of The Long Dumb Road. We'll also listen to the greatest hits of 1985 and
2018. Plus, talk about the Acebo. What is the Acebo? You already know. Figure it out.
And if you don't know, you'll find out real soon. Because this is Time Crisis with Ezra King. Beats 1.1.
They passed me by, all of those great romances
The war I felt, robbing me of my rightful chances
My picture clear, everything seemed so easy
And so I dealt to the blow, when the bus had to go
Now it's different, I want you to know
One of us is crying, one of us is lying
Leave it on me babe
Alright, Time Crisis back again. What's up Jake? Hey. This time it's not just the two of us. When was the last time we had, I guess we have in-studio guests fairly
frequently?
Kazzy David. Okay, yeah, that was a month or two ago. Yeah, not very frequently. A lot of Collins. A lot of Collins.
But today we actually have some human beings in the studio because this is a special episode about The Long Dumb Road and we're here with director Hannah Fidel.
Fidel. Fidel. Okay. Hannah Fidel. Jake just learned this like six months ago. I really thought- Not true.
Hannah Fidel. Wait, say it again. Fidel. So it's not Fidel. No, that's it. It's Fidel? Yeah. Not Fidel? It should be spelled F-I-E-D-E-L-L.
Hannah Fidel. Jake Longstreath. Jonathan. It's not Jonathan. Wait, wait, your birth name is just John? Yeah. It's not Jonathan? No. What? J-O-H-N.
J-O-H-N is a different name than Jonathan? Yeah, I think so. Because you don't spell Jonathan with an H. Okay. This is good stuff.
Really off to the races and rounding it out is the star of The Long Dumb Road, Jason Manzoukas. By the way, nailed it. How was that? Flawless.
Absolutely flawless. That was impressive, actually. Now, growing up, Jason, did people get your name wrong a lot or is it actually easier?
All the time. Anytime growing up, anytime anybody read my name, it was always, "Man, Koukousis, Mansa. There's just too many concurrent consonants in the name to
effortlessly get it."
I've had the experience, and my first name is less complicated than your last name, Jason, but now I think kind of most people know it. It's become a more popular baby
name.
I also have memories of growing up and being in some situations where somebody would look at my name, E-Z-R-A, and I don't even think this is on any kind of cultural sh*t.
I think it's just people who don't feel confident in their spelling or their reading abilities, and as soon as they would see that, even just with four letters, they
would go, "Oh my God. I'm not going to get this one."
What? Easy rock. It's a thing. A lot of people would often read it as Urza. Yeah, I could see that.
I can almost imagine that as simple as it seems, E-Z-R-A, I literally can only think of one way to pronounce it, Ezra, but I think some people, maybe their eyes go
straight to the Z-R, and they're just already like, "Okay, I'm out."
Those don't go together. I'm out. So looking at your last name. T-Z. Yeah, it's the T-Z right in the middle.
The T-Z is a real problem for people. It really hangs people up.
Because maybe they're starting to sound it out, like, kind of grade school style, and they're just like, "Jason Mant, Mantzuacus."
Yeah, exactly. Oh, then you got the O-U. Yeah, but you got a lot of Mantzuacus.
Yeah, there's a lot of that. There's a lot of exactly what you just did, watching people try to work it out, and then there was a lot of people who'd be like, "Jason Mant,
Jason M? Is Jason M here?"
So, Long Dumb Road. We talked about it once or twice on the show. It's come up. I think TC heads know that it's coming.
Yeah. So this is the movie that Hannah directed Jason Starz in. Did you do anything on it, Jay? You do a little music?
Yeah, some rough score stuff. Dick pics, aka Richard Pictures, much to the consternation of Mantzuacus.
I have real thoughts on this. Wait, wait, wait. We can get into it in a second. Real thoughts on this.
We made up some rough score ideas, which ended up getting used. By the way, it's out November 9th.
Why do you keep saying rough scoring? You're just being humble?
Yeah, he's being humble. The songs that he recorded, we used.
So you did some scoring for the film?
To be fair, those songs are rough.
Okay.
Yeah, it's rough stuff, folks.
It's a bit of a rough listen.
Yeah, just when you keep saying rough, it keeps implying that then we handed it to the composer, who took some of the themes.
That also happened.
Okay.
Being a little modest, they were also designed to be demos.
And then sometimes the demo is better than the album.
You guys did it as temp score.
Right.
And then we realized it was really good.
That's cool.
Real peak behind the scenes here.
Keep something vibing.
So you guys just premiered the movie at South by Southwest?
No, we premiered it at Sundance.
But you were in Austin.
In Austin, yes.
At the Austin Film Festival.
Is it even South by Southwest time of year?
It is not.
Oh yeah, that's like in March.
Come on, man. You know that.
Correct.
I saw that you guys were doing movie stuff in Austin, and I made an assumption.
I think that's totally appropriate.
And in Austin, did you guys go to Pluckers?
No.
I didn't.
Oh, I didn't.
Did you guys?
We did not.
No.
What's Pluckers?
Pluckers?
It's either a food establishment or like a bluegrass club.
It's food establishment.
What do you think the vibe of Pluckers is?
It's based in Austin.
I'm going to say it's like a--I'm going to guess a chicken joint of some sort.
There's so many types of chicken, though.
Oh, probably just a clean grilled chicken breast.
[laughs]
Like something very lightly seasoned with like a little bit of olive oil and some thyme.
I'm guessing.
Like something that's three Weight Watchers points.
Well, Austin should clarify that Pluckers is a chain of about 30 restaurants in Texas.
Okay, then I'm doubling down.
It's just lightly--and maybe there's just like a little bit of an arugula salad on the side.
That's my guess.
Are you ready to get plucked at Pluckers?
I'll have one lightly salted chicken breast with some thyme, some oregano,
something that is very locale.
This is actually a pretty good idea because when you talk about chicken restaurants,
you're thinking of barbecue chicken, fried chicken, or what Pluckers actually is, wangs, buffalo wangs.
Chicken [bleep]
Yeah, exactly.
Oh.
You also go watch the game there.
Oh, cool.
So it's a game spot?
Yeah, you watch the game.
Is it a game spot?
Is it inside of a game spot where they sell video games?
It might occasionally be next to one in a strip mall.
Oh, Pluckers is a strip mall?
Wait a minute, is Pluckers a local Austin only?
Are you asking did we go to the Pluckers in Austin, but if we had been in Cincinnati,
would you have also said, "Hey, did you go to Pluckers?"
Houston, San Antonio.
Pluckers is an Austin-based--
Texas.
Texas/Oklahoma.
I think Louisiana.
And Louisiana buffalo wangs chain, and I believe in Austin there's probably a few.
Got it.
I thought I saw on Instagram that you guys went to Pluckers or something.
Are you just shouting out Pluckers?
I listened to the episode where you talk to the dude who does all the social media.
The social media guy, yeah.
You have a relationship with the Pluckers social media guy?
Yes, he was our--
We were on the phone with him for 40 minutes.
He was our guest on the last show.
I have to say one of your best guests.
He was interesting.
He was real mask off with us because we always talk about corporate food Twitter and how
much it offends us, but he got on here and he was like, "Listen, I'm creating buffalo
wang memes, I'm picking fights with buffalo wild wings on Twitter.
I used to be a journalist.
Now I run social media for Pluckers."
And this is the world we-- what did he keep saying?
It's a dumb time to be alive.
It's a dumb time to be alive.
Wow.
Which is a good time with the film.
Wow.
It's a dumb time to be alive.
He is the social media coordinator for Pluckers.
Yeah.
Former journalist.
That right there is heartbreak for journalists everywhere.
Yeah.
No, but he even said something--
That sums it up.
He even said something on the last episode.
It was really raw the way he put it.
He said something like, "I mean, you could spend weeks researching an article about racism
at UT, nobody's going to read it."
Or you can make a crying Jordan buffalo wang, get a thousand retweets.
He said something like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, so he was real mask off.
He was letting us behind the scenes and we appreciate that.
Traditionally, is he a mask on kind of guy though?
Well, I guess--
Is he in Slipknot?
That's my question.
Second career.
He's like, "I was a rhythm guitarist in Slipknot, journalist, and now I run social media for Pluckers."
I could imagine myself following that career trajectory myself.
Yeah.
I would love it if you were revealed to have been one of the members of Slipknot this whole time, just under a mask.
That's actually a good--
Wow.
When the next Vampire Weekend album comes out and people are asking what I've been doing for five and a half years,
I say, "I've been out there playing music."
Yeah, exactly.
Been touring with my band.
Yeah.
Oh, wait, but Vampire Weekend hasn't been on tour.
Oh, I'm in my primary band, Slipknot.
Oh, you're in-- Oh, wow.
Oh, yeah, Vampire Weekend's a side project.
Yeah.
I heard Ezra plays in Slipknot.
No, I think it's Gwar.
I think he might be one of those big giants in Gwar.
Mask on.
Give it to three.
And the movie's about to be out nationwide?
Yeah.
November what?
16th?
November 9th in New York.
November 9th.
Yeah.
And then November 16th everywhere else.
So if you are in New York on November 9th, go to the goddamn theater and see this goddamn movie.
That's right.
Or I swear to God, I will punch you in the face.
You heard it here first, folks.
Yep.
Kaboom.
Do you guys want to explain-- Because we've referenced the movie--
I'd love to perform a scene from it.
But we've never--
[laughter]
How come-- You know what's hilarious?
It's like when you're in a band, almost everything you get asked to do is like come to the radio station--
Yeah, play a song.
--and do a version of the song.
How come they don't ask actors to perform--
By the way, I would love to perform a scene from the movie.
So before you explain what the movie's about live, here's Jason.
Give us a taste of the movie.
We're not going to go to a clip.
We've got somebody, an actor live in the studio.
Okay.
Okay, here we go.
I'm going to pretend, if you will, that I'm in a car, a minivan with Tony Revolori.
Hey, man, you party?
Uh, yeah.
Oh, funny, yeah.
Yeah, I know, me too.
Oh, yeah, you want to help me spark this up?
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Oh, sure, I want to hear about it.
Go ahead.
Long story?
I don't mind.
I have time.
Yeah, start it up.
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
Sure.
Uh, I think it's short for Catherine.
Uh-huh.
You mind if I put something-- oh, yep.
Okay.
Yeah, no, take it.
No, it's your mom.
You should take it.
Uh-huh.
Uh, okay.
Huh?
Oh, yeah, no.
Yeah, I know, I wasn't listening.
Yeah, sounds like your mom's a real trip.
Uh-huh.
Cool.
Crying?
Why?
Oh, 'cause-- oh, 'cause you're her only child.
So, oh, she's upset, I guess.
Wow, okay.
Yeah.
You want to put some music on?
Yeah.
Great, let's do it.
What do you think?
Uh, Aerosmith?
Oh, no.
Probably, uh, Slipknot?
Yeah, we should probably play some Slipknot.
That's a little bit of "Long Dumb Road" right there.
Very nice.
I mean, like, that is almost word for word.
I mean, obviously, it makes a lot more sense when Tony--
when you get Tony's lines.
That's one of the scenes I have the least lines in.
Mm-hmm.
That's a very heavy Tony scene.
Uh, but it's such a good scene,
I wanted people to get a taste of it.
Yeah.
Even if it's not the taste, I guess--
You know, you could have chose one where you got to show off.
Sure.
But you let the other actor shine.
Yes.
So generous.
It's very generous.
That's exactly it, 'cause I'm gonna be honest with you.
Tony Revolori, uh, he's the bellhop from Grand Budapest Hotel.
He's Flash Thompson in, uh, the "Spider-Man" homecoming movie.
He's a fantastic actor, and I really wanted the audience--
I'm here.
You're getting to hear me.
I wanted them to get a sense of what he's bringing to the picture.
That's true.
I call movies pictures.
Don't worry about it.
[laughs]
Love it.
Okay, now, Jason--
Ezra.
You seem to be--
Or Urza.
You seem to be reacting very negatively.
If I'm reading between the lines correctly,
when Jake was talking about doing music for the movie,
and you referred to how Dick Picks, his Grateful Dead cover man--
Oh, yes.
--is now known as Richard Pictures--
I don't like it.
--for at least a couple years.
I don't like it.
You don't like the name change.
If I'm not mistaken, that is a term that exists
within the Grateful Dead community
that has nothing to do with salacious pictures of one's genitalia, correct?
Dick's Picks.
The genius of the name was the pun.
Correct.
So to me, that is in and of itself a great name for a band
because you're playing on two different things, which is great.
It's specific to the Dead community,
but also a little bit of a ribald joke, which I don't mind.
So because we know how we got there, you're okay with it?
I'm 100%-- I'm not only okay with it, I think it's really good.
To call it Richard's Pictures--
Richard Pictures.
Richard Pictures adds obfuscation that eliminates at least one of the jokes.
Jason, I'm in full agreement with you.
Yeah, thank you.
But the name hit some roadblocks publicly.
Got it.
We played some school fundraisers, and that makes sense.
You've got to change the name for a school fundraiser.
Well, how old-- like, what school?
Grade school.
Grade school, okay, I understand that.
Maybe don't call a band Dick Picks.
And then we played some shows with Vampire Weekend.
I just want to finish the thought real fast.
Would you have had us open for you if we were called Dick Picks?
Oh, wow.
I'm really glad I didn't have to make that decision, actually.
Yeah, who knows?
Maybe we got some blowback.
After Trump got elected, we got some blowback from--
Wait a minute.
What are you saying right now?
I'm literally saying--
You're saying Trump got elected?
I, to be fair, have not been reading the news.
President Hillary Clinton.
Okay, yes, after Trump got elected, we got some blowback.
Everyone kind of lost their mind.
We got some blowback from some peers and friends.
That you considered to be valid?
I struggled with it.
And then I was just like, you know what, I'm not going to--
am I going to die on this hill?
But are we going to, like, kowtow to people who are, like,
going to say, like, I don't like the clever pun you've made
on the Grateful Dead Dick's Picks thing?
I don't know.
It's a tough one, man.
A cover band's name certainly could go too far.
I guess.
Can't think of any off the top of my head.
It's honestly something I've struggled with these last few years.
Okay, but Seinfeld, you'll know the answer to this.
Can you get on the mic for a second?
Wasn't there a viral tweet where somebody wrote "you" using the "you"
and then "me" in intellectual format?
For people who don't know, it's a Twitter format where you say
this is the simple thing that you would say,
and then you write "me," an intellectual colon,
and then you say the more elevated thing that "me," the intellectual, would say.
So somebody wrote "you, Dick Picks, me," in intellectual Richard Pictures.
This is a big viral tweet.
That's right.
I mean, this thing was massive.
I saw that too.
How many retweets?
100,000.
Wow.
If I don't ask him to do a number crunch, he'll just pull some--
that's why I always got to ask him to do a number crunch.
He just pulled that one out of his ass.
38,000 retweets.
That's major.
175,461 likes.
Okay, so anyway, my question is,
did Dick Picks the band invent the phrase "Richard Pictures"?
As far as I know.
Did this person come up with it independently?
I'm sure there's parallel thinking.
You can get there.
Yeah.
Perhaps.
Had you guys ever heard somebody refer to Dick Picks as Richard Pictures before?
No, we were playing an elementary school fundraiser in Silver Lake,
and we were like, "We're not going to roll in as Dick Picks."
But you were interestingly hired as Dick Picks.
True.
A friend of ours was on--
So you know what?
At that point, this is on them.
They hired a band called Dick Picks to play at an elementary school.
Here's the thing.
I mean, I would understand if you guys were projecting Dick Picks on a screen during your show.
I would be like, "That might be too much."
That might be like leaning in on the crass--
Right, like punk rock.
Yeah, like the kind of--
And also, that wouldn't have a lot to do with the ethos of the Grateful Dead.
Exactly.
Whose music you're--
But being that you're not, I don't know.
I'm also like, "You know what? Come on. The band is Dick Picks. What is this?"
They'll always be Dick Picks to you.
Always, until the day I die.
Within the band, we refer to ourselves as Picks or Dick Picks.
Oh, we got a Dick Picks show coming up.
We don't call ourselves Richard Pictures.
Well, Hannah, you want to weigh in on this?
Because when did you and Jake get married?
A year ago.
So when you guys got married, was the band called Dick Picks or Richard Pictures?
Dick Picks.
No, Pictures.
Oh, yeah.
I guess-- Was it?
Well, here's the thing.
In our household--
Okay, but you were dating when the band was called Dick Picks.
Yes.
So you've been with Jake as a member of Dick Picks, as a member of Richard Pictures.
You've kind of seen it all.
I've seen it all.
But in our house, it is still Dick Picks.
Did you have any kind of point of view about the name change?
I thought in this instance it was really silly.
To change the name?
Yeah. I thought it was unnecessary.
And I want to go on record and say, if you're playing in elementary school, of course,
I don't mind obfuscating a potentially insane name like that.
But what about opening for Vampire Weekend?
That I have no problem with.
That band should be able to handle it because they are--
I mean, at least one of the members of that band is in Slipknot.
Keep that in mind.
I'm not sure we would have got the gig.
This is crazy, man.
I never even thought about this.
That would have been real tough for me, I wonder.
Because you couldn't come out afterwards and be like, "Come on, guys.
Keep it going for Dick Picks."
Well, why can't you guys have two names?
We basically do.
Right.
Dick Picks colon Richard's Pictures?
If I--
[laughter]
They're both good names.
I'm not worried about a colon.
When I post on Instagram about our shows, I just say, "We are playing a show November 4th."
That's not helping you, though.
And then I say--
That's not helping you to be like "we," to be a "we."
And then I say, "#DickPicksBand."
Interesting.
Is it--
All of this is about a Grateful Dead cover band.
Here's what I'm going to-- spell it.
How do you spell it?
D-I-C-K space P-I-C-S.
Change the spelling to D-I-C.
Ugh, no.
D-I-C-D-I-C.
Like Bic.
Dick Pick.
D-I-C-P-I-C.
I don't like it.
No?
You think that's worse?
Yeah.
But also Dick Latvala, who was the curator for Dick Picks, spelled it D-I-C-K.
Sure.
So we need to have that resonance.
What if you--
But you're currently calling it Richard's Pictures.
Richard Pictures, sir.
Apologies, apologies.
What if you split the difference and called it Dickard Pictures?
Hmm.
How about Deckard's Pictures and it's a Blade Runner band?
That could be cool.
Instead of Grateful Dead, it's all Tangerine Dream.
By the way, I'm into this band.
Well, yeah, I mean, not that outlandish.
[theme music]
You haven't answered the question.
Would I still have had the band?
Dick Picks. Vampire Weekend returns with their first shows in five years, or whatever it is, three years.
Two intimate shows in Ojai. Opening for the band Dick Picks.
I still would have had you open. I mean, but the truth is I never thought twice about it because I was very familiar with the reference.
So if you hadn't told me that some people were uncomfortable with the name, I may have just assumed you guys are Grateful Dead band.
Most people you play to are Grateful Dead fans, for whom the phrase Dick Picks in this context would immediately conjure up Dick's Picks before it conjured up images of
unwanted s***.
You know what? If you had to change the name to something just like bad, Richard Pictures is a great name too.
If you had come to me and said, "I have a band called Richard Pictures," I'd be like, "Okay, it's not as good as Dick Picks, but it's certainly a fine name for a band."
That's a pretty good name.
And you wouldn't also make the connection that it's a Grateful Dead cover band.
It wouldn't at all occur to me.
No. Dick Picks, you're like, "Okay, Dick Picks."
Some portion of the population who knows the dead, that is going to be the first connection they make.
And then some people are going to be like, you know, "Picture in the s***."
We just got booked for next April to Ventura County Fairgrounds.
Really?
There's a three-day Grateful Dead cover band pop festival.
What? This is amazing.
We got a hot slot.
Hot slot? By the way, can't use that for a band name.
Under your guys' logic, you couldn't use the name.
You shouldn't be using the words "hot slot."
Yeah.
Right? Can't say it.
It's a hot s*** cover band.
Can't say "hot slot."
Next up, hot slot.
We got a prime slot. Slot's just a terrible word.
We got a prime billing.
Check this.
Yeah.
The opening afternoon of the festival, Friday afternoon at 3 p.m., hour-long set.
Boom.
So you're kicking things off.
We're just like, "The vendors are setting up folding tables in those weird pop-up tents."
And we're just like, going into Jack Straw.
We can share the women, we can share the wine.
We can share what we got of yours 'cause we don't share all of mine.
Keep on rolling, just a mile to go.
Keep on rolling, my old buddy, you're moving much too slow.
I just jumped the watchman right outside the fence.
Took his dream small box and changed, made that heaven seem.
Hurts my ears to listen, Shannon, it burns my eyes to see.
Cut down a man in Corvallis, Shannon, bodies will be free.
Do you think at a Grateful Dead cover band festival, it's good vibes, as one would hope?
Or do you think you get a few people eyeing each other, just being like, "Jerry wouldn't have done that."
Oh, I'm sure. There's gotta be fights.
I went and saw Phil Lesch and Friends last week.
Yikes.
As part of the Outlaw Music Festival. It was a straight up yikes.
Although, I will say, Sturgill Simpson was fantastic, as was Willie Nelson.
But Phil Lesch and Friends, very disappointing.
But you could tell there was a sense of anger amongst my friends who were the dead fans
about what the two guys that were singing, one guy singing the Bob songs, one guy singing the Jerry songs,
blah, blah, blah, and they were already getting into it.
I was like, "This must just be, I can't even imagine it, an entire festival."
I would love nothing more than if this Grateful Dead tribute band festival ended in an absolute riot.
Like a full melee.
This is the ugly truth, is that most hippies are not chill.
Yeah. And the name of the subtitle, Ezra looked it up, the subtitle of the festival is Altamont 2?
That seems like it's asking for trouble.
Bad vibes, man.
Not good.
I was actually like--
Oh yeah, Jerry's cameo in Altamont is amazing.
Or in Gimme Shelter.
Oh yeah.
He's like, "Oh, that's a bummer, man."
He's got one line in the whole talk.
I heard he had more lines, but he got cut out a lot because his readings were not very good.
I was watching some recent Phish videos.
I was kind of curious, watching some Phish live.
As you do.
As one does, late night, getting ready for bed.
Are you a Phish fan?
Growing up, I was never a Phish fan, but as I've gotten older, I've become more interested in Phish.
And I was struck by, you know, like Phish is the epitome of just like really good musicians just having fun.
And the fans are open-minded and they do kind of like--they'll do like little musical jokes, jump on trampolines,
historically do goofy covers, have fun.
The drummer plays a vacuum cleaner.
Yeah, they'll do stuff like that.
And, you know, it's like hating on Phish is just kind of absurd because, you know, they're just having fun.
Right.
And then there's like a handful of commenters were irate at how Trey's tone had changed on this tour.
They were just like, "Trey's tone f---ing sucks. I mean, I'm a huge Phish fan."
And a few people were like, "Yo, chill." But it's like they were so angry about Trey's tone.
I was like, "Damn, even in the Phishhead community?"
Emotionally invested in that aesthetic, man.
This is like Dylan going electric.
Yeah.
Trey's tone--
Trey's tone slightly changed.
Like, oh, man, bouncing around the room never sounded the same.
He boosted some mids, and I was done.
♪ The woman was a dream I had, though rather hard to keep. ♪
♪ For when my eyes were watching her as they closed, and I was still asleep. ♪
♪ For when my hand was holding hers, she whispered words, and I awoke. ♪
♪ And faintly bouncing 'round the room, the echo of whomever spoke. ♪
♪ And I awoke, and faintly bouncing 'round the room, the echo of whomever spoke. ♪
♪ The place I sought was far beneath the surface of the sea. ♪
♪ My sight was poor, but I was sure the sirens sang their song for me. ♪
♪ They dance above me as I sing. I see them through a crystal haze. ♪
♪ And hear them bouncing 'round the room, the never-ending choral maze. ♪
♪ The crystal haze. And hear them bouncing 'round the room, the never-ending choral maze. ♪
♪ Then before, and now once more, I'm bouncing 'round the room. ♪
So speaking of Dylan, we got a lot to talk about.
On my Instagram account, I've been sharing some interest in a certain type of font family.
Probably some TC heads have seen this.
Is that what you call your fans? TC heads?
The fans of Time Crisis.
Are you getting any kind of conflicting fan base with the character TC from Magnum P.I.?
Not familiar.
'Cause I'm a member, I'm a TC head. I am a TC head.
Of the original TC heads.
I am a TC head, meaning TC, the helicopter pilot character from the Magnum P.I. series and the reboot.
The drummer of Vampire Weekend is named CT, Chris Thompson.
And we once had a bus driver who CT kind of had a good rapport with.
And they would chat about, you know, the drive and maybe they'd talk about sports or something.
That's a good rapport?
They had a pretty good rapport.
That's, in your mind, a good rapport is talking about the drive or sports?
Well, I don't talk about sports or drive, so I feel alienated from it.
But I just remember Chris telling us that at some point, like, they'd been building this bond for weeks or something.
And maybe-- I'm probably amping this up too much.
But then at the end of the tour or something, like, Chris was like, "You know, it's been really great getting to know you, Gary," or whatever.
And then he said like, "All right, you too, TC."
[laughter]
"Yeah, all right. Yeah, you too, TC. Have a good one, man."
I've had that experience, too.
I once had a very long conversation with someone like I vaguely knew.
And then at the end of the-- and, you know, like really just talking about life and [bleep] and they called me Elijah.
But I was like with it.
I never get mad about that.
Yeah, I feel like if somebody-- people are allowed to make that mistake.
If somebody treats you with respect and then they confidently say the wrong name, who cares?
Yeah.
Except for the fact that you've been disrespected because your name is all you have.
It represents-- it literally is all you are is your name.
So for them to specifically call you a different name is to literally rob you of your identity.
And it's a power move that basically shames you, that erases you from the equation.
So like, yeah, I get it.
But no matter how kind and sweet they've been, they are really just removing the individuality of who you are.
I have a really positive heart-to-heart with like a 90-year-old person and they get the name wrong.
I'm like, hey, don't sweat it.
And then I walk away and then I like pause.
That pops in my head and I just walk back.
But at the same time, my name is me.
You just erased me.
Yeah.
Honestly, [bleep] you.
Because you know what?
Later that 90-year-old is like, I had a nice chat with that Elijah boy.
Who's Elijah?
Ah, the boy who was here earlier.
I was talking to him, Elijah.
I don't know who that is.
But now it doesn't register.
There is no way to even trace down who you are.
It's kind of like when--
You don't exist.
At that point, Ezra, you don't exist.
It's kind of like when Dick Picks became Richard Pictures.
It is.
It's the same thing.
A history.
I don't like that at all.
A band vanished.
You better guess who's in Richard's pictures.
Elijah.
You know what I'm saying?
Richard Pictures.
[laughter]
Okay, but anyway.
Oh, Joker Man.
We're talking about fonts.
Without going into it, I love fonts.
They started in the late '80s, moved into the '90s.
These kind of fun post--
What would you call them?
Neo-hippie type fonts.
A lot of handwritten ones.
The Cure was kind of pioneers of it.
And then once you get to the '90s, you see all these wacky, fun fonts.
I've seen it--
As I started talking about it a lot, some people have told me that some people call this family of fonts Global Coffeehouse.
Oh, sure.
Which is right on.
That's a great way to put it.
And the most basic version of all these fonts, the one that you could actually maybe have on the family computer, is called Joker Man.
And Joker Man, you see it pop up.
I recently saw a barbershop in Hollywood that used Joker Man font.
And it's a font that has a lot of energy, a playfulness.
You could say maybe a touch of hippiness about it, but it's fun.
Anyway, so Joker Man is perhaps like one of the pillars of this font family, this font community.
And I was posting about the font Joker Man.
Then a friend of mine I actually know through CT, Nick Mancia, hit me up saying, "Yeah, and how about that Bob Dylan song, Joker Man?"
And I vaguely knew that song.
I hadn't thought about it in a long time.
Then I returned and I started listening to this Bob Dylan song, Joker Man.
And I realized, I love this song.
This is a great Bob Dylan song.
And it's from '80s Dylan, which is not considered one of Bob's greatest periods.
But I think the real Bob Dylan has considered this one of his best songs.
His voice was starting to sound a little different in the '80s.
But I got so into this song, I even started to think, "You know what?
Maybe one day Vampire Weekend will get a cover of this going."
That'd be sick.
It'd be tight.
So anyway, this is also a very early warning shot to the Vampire Weekend fan community.
Lightly familiarize yourself with Joker Man.
What are they called?
So if we bust it out.
It's funny. The Time Crisis community are called TC Heads.
Vampire Weekend has never had a good name for our fans.
Really?
Yeah.
Like the Weekenders?
It's too much of a mouthful.
I don't think it goes down easy.
How about this?
Let's do a contest where somebody in the audience gets to name the fans of Vampire Weekend.
And we'll just let them have that for real for the rest of time.
Let's try it.
I have a feeling we've put this out there before.
It just never anything-- nothing clicks.
But yeah, please.
If anybody has any ideas, let us know.
But anyway, also just generally saying to Vampire Weekend fans,
maybe next year VW bust this out and you'll be like, "Oh yeah, I know that song."
Anyway, this is the song Joker Man.
Sly and Robbie, famous reggae rhythm section playing on this.
Mark Knopfler, some real tasteful guitar licks coming in and out.
He also produced it.
That knob flick.
[MUSIC - SLY AND ROBBIE, "JOKER MAN"]
A lot of great lyrics in this song.
Demanding bass playing, too.
Yeah, I remember that.
[MUSIC - SLY AND ROBBIE, "JOKER MAN"]
It's a great song, but it made me think a little bit about--
'80s Dylan was the time when his voice started to put people off, I think.
Maybe it started in the '70s.
He's really, like, leaning into some of the Dylanisms.
Right.
I mean, he's still got his range at this point.
Yeah, it's not really until, I feel like, the '90s that he really starts to lose--
it starts to get narrower and more ragged.
He can't articulate melodies, really.
In this moment, I think his voice was becoming a little more idiosyncratic.
Was it? Or just maybe the Dylan fan sort of soured on it?
What year is this?
This is '83, '84.
Is this religious Dylan?
This is right after that period.
Right after?
This is when he stopped being Christian.
Well, anyway, it's a great song, and because I was watching the video a bunch,
YouTube suggested I also check out a video of Bob Dylan at We Are The World.
And this is cool. I'd never seen this before.
Bob Dylan is one of the people singing on the famous charity song We Are The World.
♪ We are the world, we are the children ♪
So he sings in the choir with all the other stars.
Sure.
Michael Jackson, Lionel Richie, Cyndi Lauper, all the big stars of the '80s.
He's kind of one of the only '60s dudes in the mix.
And I guess at a certain point he had to record his part.
And he's a little bit the odd man out, and so there's this footage on YouTube.
It's nine minutes of him just, like, trying to get his part down.
Stevie Wonders in the background helping him out playing piano.
That's where he's going in on it.
Stevie.
Can you play it one time?
Come on, man.
So he's working on it with--
Stevie's helping him out.
Diana Ross is leaving the room.
Giving him some space to get it right.
He's kind of showing it to him.
He gets back on the mic.
Again, doesn't seem that--seems a little uncomfortable.
♪ We're saving our own lives ♪
♪ It's true, we make a better day ♪
♪ Just you and me ♪
Although he's in tune.
What's that?
Just stay right in the mic like that, Bobby.
That's beautiful.
And you know what's nice, man, is you sing along with the chorus like that, too.
Quincy being very supportive.
It's so funny.
His speaking voice is almost like he's in character, too.
Okay.
That's beautiful.
Because that's the only time we use the low octave.
All right, man.
It's time to--
He looks so deeply uncomfortable.
It's fascinating that Dylan, yeah, like, he's in key.
It's not that he can't sing.
He's really--watching the video is interesting because he's like--
he's posturing in a funny way.
He's got, like, this very funny physicality that, like, belies how uncomfortable he is.
Right.
The thumb has not left his pocket, weirdly.
And as always, he always nails it when they're kind of rehearsing.
And then they're like, "Let's roll tape."
And it just never sounds quite as good.
We've all had that experience.
Also, I feel like this type of situation has a lot--like, the person who has to do something is uncomfortable.
And they're just like, "Is that sort of it?"
And everybody's like, "Oh, yeah!"
"You're f---ing killing it."
I wonder if they asked Neil Young to do this.
I'm sure they did, but I'm sure, like, everything he said, "No."
I feel like Neil Young is the--
Surprisingly--
--Murray of rock.
Well, Dylan, too, is.
I mean, surprising he did it.
You've heard the David Lee Roth tapes, right?
I don't think I have.
On this show, we've never gotten deep on, like, the recordings of people.
What's the David Lee Roth one?
David Lee Roth, "Running with the Devil."
Just, like, isolated vocal?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
I love this stuff.
This is actually from the record?
I think-- I believe this is it.
Oh!
Oh, yes!
Yeah, yeah!
Ha, yeah!
[laughter]
I live my life like there's no tomorrow.
And all I've got--
Good vibrato.
--I had to steal.
Least I don't need Tobago Burrow.
Burrow!
Yes, I'm living at a base that kills.
Oh, yeah!
[laughter]
[screeching]
[laughter]
It's all the incidental noises.
Yeah, right.
He has a good voice.
He's like--
Oh, yeah.
How does he do that?
[screeching]
But it's like--
[screeching]
He's almost getting into some weird, like, throat-singing territory, like hitting two--
Like a two-tone throat singer?
He's getting two tones?
Yeah, exactly.
He's getting pretty two-tone.
I remember stumbling across the Chris Cornell vocals from, like, Bad Motor Finger era Soundgarden.
Yeah.
Singing is so brutal.
Insanity.
Shout-out to anybody who, like, goes for it.
Well, I've got a feeling so down
I've got a feeling so down
I kept the movie rolling
But the story's getting old now
Oh, yeah
I just looked in the mirror
And things aren't looking so good
I'm looking California
And feeling Minnesota
Oh, yeah
Who gets mystified?
Who gets mystified?
Show me the power of child I'd like to save
But I'm down on my knees today
Yeah, it gives me the butterflies
Gives me a way
To climb up on my feet again
Hey, I'm feeling
Oh, I'm feeling all-time, all-time, all-time, all-time
Yeah
Another thing we should say about Joker Man, the font,
is that it's on the back of these new 8-minute Cape Cod long sleeves.
We just got a shipment of how many?
We got 50 long sleeves.
I mean, to be fair, a lot of the Time Crisis fat cats are gonna skim off the top.
The TCFCs?
The TCFCs.
The TCFCs, you know, the friends and family of the inner circle of Time Crisis, the elites.
Skimming 20% right off the top.
We're gonna be skimming off these.
But Seinfeld took the classic 8-minute Cape Cod shirt
and put it on a black long sleeve.
'Cause we've done white shirts, we've done tie-dye,
but we've never done just a very simple, tasteful black long sleeve.
It says "8-minute Cape Cod," and on the back,
it says one of Jake's classic quotes, "This show rules."
And Seinfeld, when you first sent me it, I thought it looked great.
I had one note.
On the back, you put that s*** in Joker Man.
Because Joker Man's a really hot font right now.
Everybody's talking about it.
And I just knew that the fans were gonna love it.
You got Futura on the front, Joker Man in the back.
Why not Joker Man on the front?
Maybe next time--we'll see how these ones do.
Next time we can switch it up.
Futura bold on the back, Joker Man on the front.
I'd like a one-off all Joker Man.
All Joker Man?
I want a shirt that just says, "In Joker Man, all Joker Man."
All Joker Man?
I actually had this thought--
And then on the back--
That's sick.
And on the back, TCFC.
That's tight.
You know, it's funny you say that because I guess Time Crisis has also proven to be a very good dry run for Vampire Weekend.
It's a place where we can speak freely, come up with ideas such as 8-Minute Cape Cod, you know?
Which then we can implement later.
This is kind of, in some ways, Vampire Weekend R&D.
A laboratory.
It's a laboratory.
This is the test kitchen for Vampire Weekend.
Wait, who is a--isn't there like a Chipotle test kitchen in New York?
Everybody has--oh, oh, I don't know about in New York.
I went to the Panda Express one in Pasadena.
And you're alive?
Oh, yeah.
Wait, and what happens at the Panda Express test kitchen?
It's the same thing that happens--
It's organic chicken?
No.
It's basically the same.
It's just like Plucker's.
It's a lovely breast of chicken, lovingly, tenderly grilled.
Does Plucker's have a test kitchen?
I guarantee Plucker's has a test kitchen.
If you work at the Plucker's test kitchen, get in touch with us.
Okay, wait, by the way, rewind.
[rewind sound]
What is a test kitchen?
Because I assume that a test kitchen used to be like you could imagine some big food corporation
would have a test kitchen where they literally are testing their food products.
But then it did become this thing where a lot of these chain restaurants have test kitchens
that are really just a slightly more upscale version of the spot.
Oh, wait, is that a real thing?
Yeah, the Panda Express test kitchen, it's not like you got ushered into--
Like an industrial park?
Yeah, you weren't on like the 20th floor of Panda Express headquarters.
No, no, no, it was in sort of like--
PEHQ.
An upscale strip mall.
It's just a Panda Express.
Ooh, upscale.
You had me at upscale strip mall.
There's a Nordstrom rack.
Was there anything about the ambiance of this Panda Express test kitchen that was a cut above?
Yeah, it was a few years ago, but I remember thinking, "This is awesome."
Yeah.
[laughter]
That's what you remember thinking?
Yeah.
"This is awesome."
I think I actually-- maybe I shouldn't admit this, but I went twice.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Wait, so you really liked it?
Solo?
No, no, no.
Someone, a producer asked if I wanted to have a meeting there.
Really?
The answer is no, because that person's a murderer, not a producer.
[laughter]
Nobody has a meeting at a Panda Express test kitchen.
What were you the producer for?
I don't understand, because when you look up--
Porno?
When you look up fast food--
A porno producer?
A porno.
It was an Oscar-nominated producer.
Okay.
Oh, God.
Maybe that's their way of showing you, "I'm down to earth, but not that down to earth."
Exactly, yeah.
I'd love to take you to the Panda Express test kitchen.
But there's no part of the Panda Express test kitchen where you kind of see through a window
and you see people in lab coats.
No, no, no.
Wait, how did we start talking about test kitchens?
I have a question for you.
Yeah.
Have you ever been on the website, defonts.com?
Defonts?
Yeah.
I don't think so.
You've never been on Define Fonts?
Yeah.
I have spent hours on that.
I've seen other people on it.
Do you think they--
I'm really busy.
I wonder if they have a hashtag that you can search for global coffee house fonts, because
I'd love to find some more behind-- Oh, you know what?
Now I remembered.
This is great radio.
We were saying that Time Crisis is a bit of a test kitchen.
It's kind of a Panda--
Yes, Vampire Weekend's test kitchen.
It's a bit of a Panda Express test kitchen.
I did have this idea that some ideas maybe are too outlandish for the larger Vampire
Weekend fan community, but the TC heads, which is not exclusively Vampire Weekend fans, I
think we've joked about this before.
Is there anybody who just hates Vampire Weekend, who's like, "Love Time Crisis, though."
I bet there is.
There's probably a few people.
Write in.
Yeah, let us know.
Would love to know.
Hashtag love that TC, hashtag hate that VM.
Hate that V-Dubs.
V-Dubs, rather.
But I was saying, I did have this idea a while ago of Vampire Weekend maybe could just do
some font shirts, and it would be the Vampire Weekend Joker Man shirt.
It would say Vampire Weekend Joker Man, and then maybe on the back say Joker Man shirt,
or have the whole alphabet on the sleeves or something.
You know, really lean into it.
At first, I was trying to think which fonts would be fun to do, and then I realized Papyrus
is kind of played out to joke about.
SNL did a sketch about Papyrus already.
And of course, Comic Sans is beyond dead.
Zapf Dingbats.
It's a Zapf Dingbat shirt.
It's all Zapf Dingbats on the front and the sleeves, and then in the back in Joker Man,
it's like a full essay that explains the front part says Vampire Weekend.
I would also love-
Zapf Dingbats.
Yeah, I would also love it if it just on the back said Zapf Dingbats in Joker Man font.
Joker Man dance to the light of the moon.
But I've also been thinking about Joker Man is a fascinating font.
It's a fascinating song.
And then I was also thinking about something, because as I really poured over the lyrics
to Bob Dylan's Joker Man, which I recommend everybody spend some time with.
It's a very strong song.
He keeps talking about this person, Joker Man.
It's almost like, as in a lot of Bob Dylan songs, he's like pulling from ancient history,
Americana, his own mythology.
And you're like, who is Joker Man?
Is he talking to himself?
I saw some people in the comments saying, "We're all Joker Man."
And then I kept thinking, like, yeah, who's the Joker Man?
Is it like the Joker?
Is it the Joker in the deck of cards?
And then I realized, if you just want to call somebody a joker, you'd say joker, right?
There's probably a lot of songs.
There's the Joker by an enemy of the show, Steve Miller.
I didn't know you guys had enemies.
Oh, yeah, we hate Steve Miller.
Oh, I get it.
He talked about Jerry Garcia after Jerry had passed.
Oh, interesting.
And while Jerry was alive, he had no problem opening up for the Grateful Dead and even
sitting in with them on occasion.
Back in '92.
And then he also ignored our pleas on social media.
We wanted him to come clear his name.
Yeah.
That's surprising because he was so cool about his Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction.
Wait, Steve Miller?
Right?
Wasn't he like a total asshole about it a couple years ago?
Oh, really?
That does ring a bell.
He was like really pissed off and was basically like, "Fuck you guys."
Oh, yeah.
Let's put a pin in that one.
Let's return to that.
We'll return to Steve Miller shortly.
So I was thinking, what does this mean, Joker Man?
And then I had a thought that Joker Man is kind of like Joker plus Batman.
Joker Man is kind of a yin yang that has the hero and the villain combined.
Joker Man.
And actually, in the music video for Bob Dylan's Joker Man, there's even an image of the Joker,
the DC character.
So I started to think more.
Joker Man is a hybrid of Joker and Batman.
Whoa.
The good and the evil.
And the good that's in the evil and the evil that's in the good.
You know what I'm saying?
Joker Man.
That's humanity.
Combo.
That's deep.
♪ Casting your bread while the eyes of the idol ♪
♪ With a iron head are glowing ♪
♪ As the six-seven year-old miss ♪
♪ You were born with a statement both of fists ♪
♪ While her heels were blown ♪
♪ Freedom, just around the corner from you ♪
♪ With the truth so far off ♪
♪ What could we do? ♪
♪ Joker man, I dance to remind you ♪
♪ Fly, fly high by the light of the moon ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Joker man ♪
Anyway, it's also a hell of a font,
so, yeah, we gotta do more...
If you could only have, for the rest of your life,
the Bob Dylan song "Joker Man"
or the font "Joker Man,"
what would you say?
I would say "Joker Man."
When you say "only," what do you mean?
That's my only entertainment?
The other one goes away.
Oh, you can only have one?
You can only have access to one of these two "Joker Mans."
And that means that I can't cover "Joker Man"
with "Vampire Weekend"?
Nope.
What if I do it from memory?
It doesn't matter.
The song doesn't exist.
It doesn't exist, basically,
'cause you've chosen the font.
I wake up tomorrow with an eerie feeling.
I don't know what it is,
but something is different in the love.
You love the font on your shirt.
Right.
It's called "Joker Man."
It's a song by the Capitalist Society.
Do we?
It's a cutthroat.
It's just a question I've been wondering lately.
(laughing)
Oh, God, that would be a good take.
You know, these days, everybody's kind of arguing
about socialism versus capitalism,
and generally speaking, the debate is which is better.
People say, "Well, socialism's gonna turn
"into authoritarianism."
Somebody else says, "Well, look at what capitalism
"has wrought on the world."
And then somebody else kind of slides in and is just like,
"Okay, but how about this?
"Do we actually live in a capitalist society?"
And everybody's like, "Yes, yeah, no, we agree on that.
"Do we, though?"
I love that.
I'm not so sure about that.
The "do we, though" person is always the worst.
"Do we, though?"
The person who's just lobbing questions
into the middle of facts.
Like, "Wait, what are you saying?
"Do you support socialism?"
"I'm not saying that."
"Well, what, do you support the status quo?"
"I'm not saying that either."
"I'm just asking questions."
"I'm brave enough to say I don't know the answers."
Yeah.
I'm like one of the only people out here,
out on these streets, brave enough to say,
"I don't know these answers."
"I'm just asking the questions, bruh."
You guys want to fight about Democrats versus Republicans?
Yeah.
I've got cues.
Are you going to ask the side of the box?
Give me some GDAs, guys.
♪ Whoa, whoa, joker man ♪
Nope, not if you took the font.
If you took the font, that goes away right there.
So my question is...
I think you're going to have to choose the song.
Let's suppose for a second
that we live in a cold-blooded capitalist society.
A coldplay-blooded capitalist society?
Cold-blooded?
A cold-blooded capitalist society.
Now, everybody in this world,
they're looking out for number one.
It ain't pretty, but that's the world we live in.
Is this the beginning of a pitch?
This is the beginning of a pitch.
Are you pitching me a movie right now?
It's a cold-blooded world.
It's a cold-blooded world out there.
Everybody's looking out for number one.
And there's a guy, me.
Elijah.
His name's Elijah Koenig.
And I run a small business owner.
Ooh, yeah.
It's called The Vampire Weekend, Inc.
And I'm faced with a difficult decision.
I can either choose the Bob Dylan song, "Joker Man,"
or the font, "Joker Man."
And my criteria...
I'm not going to get sentimental about this, okay?
My criteria is which one is going to result
in more cold, hard cash for me and my organization.
Sure.
Because I'm running a small business here.
Because VW, Inc.
Also, potential name for the fans, Vwinks.
[ Laughter ]
Vwinks.
Why are you called Vwinks?
Well, we're fans of Vampire Weekend, Incorporated.
Yeah.
Wait, is Vampire Weekend a band?
Oh, Vampire Weekend is a band.
Vampire Weekend, Inc. is one of their multiple
holding companies.
Oh, we're totally -- we're just a couple of Vwinks.
I feel like we have an Inc.
We have a couple LLCs.
We have various shell corporations.
That's so cool.
Could you just give out some account numbers?
Oh, yeah.
And, like, what's in them?
Tweet @TimeCrisis2000
to get all of our routing numbers and information.
But, okay, no, but I could actually use some help here.
If I had to choose between the font or the song,
which one's going to be better for the brand?
Easy choice.
What are you saying?
Font.
Yeah, I agree.
Because you're going to sell T-shirts, bro.
You're not going to make any money.
Here's what I'm going to say, bro.
You've got to have that song.
Like, you've been singing it all day.
♪ Oh, Joker Man ♪
The question was --
Hold on, Jake.
Play "Double Def" for a second.
Let's say that Vampire Weekend works out a very tasteful
and tasty cover of "Joker Man."
We drop it at Austin City Limits 2019.
Crush.
Sly and Robbie are on the track.
I don't know if we're going to play it.
2021.
Okay, let's say that Vampire Weekend,
we drop it at a headline show, Madison, Wisconsin, 2021.
Let's say you're going to play Lollapalooza 2008.
Okay.
It's Lollapalooza 2008.
We drop a tasteful and tasty cover of "Joker Man."
Yep.
You guys are on right after Rollins Band.
The Vampire Weekend fans are loving it.
They either know it and they love that we chose that
as a cover song or they don't know it and they say,
"That's pretty cool, man.
They didn't go for one of the obvious Dylan cuts."
And we love what they're doing with it.
They jammed it out a little bit.
And then some of the Dylan community hears about this
and they're like, "Oh, you know what?
Maybe Vampire Weekend is pretty cool after all."
Wait, you think the Dylan community is against you?
And then they've always hated us.
Isn't that what this is all about?
And Dylan, I mean, the guy's sold
tens of millions of records.
This could result in tens of millions of fans
for Vampire Weekend.
Next thing you know, we can't even fit in stadiums
because we have tens of millions of new fans.
Everybody's talking.
I think you're missing a real obvious thing here.
What's that?
From this very show.
You are obsessed with covering "Joker Man."
The move, unequivocally, is to cover "We Are the World."
Oh.
Now, Vampire Weekend starts playing "We Are the World"
live on Lollapalooza 1998,
following iced tea and body cut.
And you guys are just straight up playing "We Are the World"?
By the way, you aping every vocal cadence and style?
I mean, like that, you want to make money, Ezra?
You want to make money?
Do "We Are the World" but for profit.
That's a pretty good idea.
For profit, "We Are the World," because guess what?
That song is too synonymous with charity.
That's right.
That's a pretty good idea.
And I also like the idea of doing all the different voices
because impressionists, they can do a show in Vegas
like a Frank Caliendo.
These guys rake it in.
Do you think of yourself more as a musician
or an impressionist?
True question.
Because I have it on good authority
that you were simultaneously offered a record contract
and a spot on "SNL."
But just as the impressions guy.
Just as an impressions guy.
Lauren said you're deeply unfunny,
but your impressions are pretty good.
Are flawless.
Your Cyndi Lauper is amazing.
Your Hall & Oates is legendary.
I bet there have been some people--
I don't want to get into the "SNL" stuff.
It sounds like a very tense work environment.
But I wonder if there have been "SNL"--
because everybody always talks about that in "SNL."
It's very competitive.
It's cutthroat.
And I mean, to be fair, "SNL" is an American show,
and we live in a capitalist society.
So--
Do we?
Do we, though?
Do we, though?
So if everybody is pretty good at something,
there might be some respect to be like, hey, guys,
thousands and thousands of comedians and improvers.
And we all made it to "SNL."
Like, let's stick together.
We're buddies.
That's not how it works.
People get-- behind the scenes, it can get kind of competitive.
And I wonder if there's been situations in "SNL"
where somebody's just like, bro, you're not even funny.
You're just an impressionist.
I'm certain that has happened.
Actually--
I mean, it's interesting.
I'm certainly certain that has happened.
I mean, look who I'm talking to.
Jason, you're a major dude in the comedy community.
Is there a thing that comedians and impressionists
don't really respect you?
There is like--
I don't know about respect, but there
is definitely like a perceived hierarchy in which like
comedians will dismiss impressionists or prop
comedians or people that are doing what
are perceived of as gimmicks.
You know, like--
and I don't necessarily believe this.
I think this is a little bit more in the stand-up world
because they all kind of exist in that same world together.
But I think like people like the, I guess,
Carrot Top or people who are doing like funny songs
or things that are considered to be gimmicks
are somehow, I feel like, in the stand-up world kind of dismissed.
(SINGING) Time's a hard--
you're afraid to pay the fee.
So you find yourself somebody who can do the job for free.
When you need a bit of loving 'cause your man is out of town,
that's the time you get me running.
And you know I'll be around.
I'm a fool to do your dirty work.
Oh, yeah.
I don't want to do your dirty work no more.
I'm a fool to do your dirty work.
Oh, yeah.
Light the candle, put the lock upon the door.
You have sent a maid home early like a thousand times before.
Like the castle in his corner in a medieval game,
I foresee terrible trouble.
And I stay here just the same.
I'm a fool to do your dirty work.
Oh, yeah.
I don't want to do your dirty work no more.
I'm a fool to do your dirty work.
Oh, yeah.
You're listening to "Time Crisis" on Beats 1.
It's not right, man, because impressionists--
I would put them above comedians,
because an impressionist is more like a scientist.
They're having to study all sorts of--
And that's who we want doing our comedy, scientists.
But I'm just saying, maybe they're not comedians.
But what they're doing--
Right, they're scientists.
They're studying vocal cords.
They're doing original research to figure out
ways in which they can manipulate their own voice
to sound like somebody else.
But would you say that a very good "Vampire Weekend"
cover band that has done a very good job
of figuring out scientifically how to ape your sound,
your tone, everything, is that as valid as what you do?
If they really were like Frank Caliendo level good--
Wait, Frank Caliendo--
Have you seen Frank Caliendo cover your songs?
Frank Caliendo is an impressionist, right?
Yes, he is.
I just want to make sure I'm not talking about--
No, you're right. He is.
--like a football coach from the '60s,
and I'll just keep saying, like, Frank Caliendo.
I would respect-- in fact, you know what?
I was thinking about recently--
I didn't read the review, but I heard that Pitchfork
gave Greta Van Fleet a terrible review.
1.6.
Very bad review.
You guys are already familiar with this.
Yes.
And I didn't read it, but I've heard them,
and I was like, it's crazy how much
they sound like Led Zeppelin.
But then I started to think outside the box a little bit.
OK.
And I was like, oh, I hate to see, like, a young band
get beat up on.
Yeah, they're so young.
Yeah, it's like--
They're like 19.
--just like, don't review it. Come on.
But I also had this thought that I was like, in 2018,
if-- I haven't listened to the album.
If, in fact, they really just made a full-on fake Led
Zeppelin album--
look, 10 years ago, that would've been an eye roll.
20 years ago, it would've been like,
eyes roll out of your head.
In 2018, is it almost, like, fascinating?
Kind of funny.
Kind of tight.
It's like a Borges story.
It's just like, why?
Did you just compare Greta Van Fleet to Borges?
That's, like, kind of amazing.
As someone who's read 2 and 1/2 Borges stories,
I am an English major.
Labyrinth.
Every story in Labyrinth.
I am aware that Borges was fascinated by meaning
and replication and labyrinthine concepts of whatever.
And the writer who writes the story of the story--
you know, whatever.
Anyway, I think there's something quite Borgesian
about Greta Van Fleet.
Oh, you got it.
You know what?
Wait, what am I even referencing?
Pitchfork, transcribe Ezra's review.
Update the review.
I send Pitchfork an email.
Hey, guys.
I'd like to throw my hat in the ring.
I know that generally you review albums once.
However, given the Borgesian nature of Greta Van Fleet,
I think it is apropos to have two reviews.
And I would love it if your number was only slightly
higher.
[laughter]
If your number-- if your rating was, like, 3.7.
I gave them a 1.9.
What the original reviewer failed--
To understand--
--failed to understand--
--is that Greta Van Fleet exists in a capitalist society.
[music - "the biggest fan"]
(SINGING) Why are you so pretty?
I love you, children.
I'm your biggest fan.
I saw your picture and I took it.
I'm the funniest in the land.
Camera, lights, and action.
And why'd you know so well?
You're in and out of fashion in Hollywood and Vail.
By the curtain walls, walk the hallowed halls.
Baby, watch the belly go.
Now you're not alone.
Yeah.
Clearly, this is a very poorly thought out idea.
And without having read the actual review,
I can't say much.
But I did stop and think for a second that there is, like--
in other eras when Led Zeppelin was, like, this beloved band
and there were so many rock bands who
were kind of indebted to them, if somebody came out
sounding just like them and trying to copy Robert Plant,
you'd be like, oh my god.
And also, Led Zeppelin broke up.
Did they?
Wait, when?
Is Bonham playing with someone else?
[laughter]
Got some bad news for you, son.
Oh, boy.
I guess if you just have that Joker man mentality that,
in the good, there's some bad.
In the bad, there's some good.
And that there's not just the Joker and Batman.
We're all Joker men.
I think the gist of the review, if I'm remembering,
was that it was almost like an algorithm.
It was a very theoretical sort of takedown.
It was sort of like as if an algorithm had
written Led Zeppelin songs.
Had, like, piecemealed it.
Like, the shuffle from this song and the guitar feel
of this song, Robert Plant's approach in this song,
and just sort of collaged them together.
But that's tight.
We live in algorithmic times.
Do we, though?
Answer it.
Do we, though?
The theme of 2018 is algorithmism.
I guess if they were, like, kind of, like,
winking more and making it more explicit that they were
self-aware, that they were a Zeppelin knockoff band,
the reviewer would have liked it more.
If I--
It was, like, more like a ween vibe.
No, I get it.
I get it.
Maybe if I was a reviewer, I'd feel differently.
But--
If I gave you $5,000--
Yeah.
--would you name the next Vampire Weekend
record, "Algo Rhythm"?
Oh, and, like, spell, like, rhythm, like, with a Y?
Rhythm with a Y.
That's sick.
Rhythm.
No.
$5,000.
$10,000.
No, but I would--
I'll give you $10,000.
Cash.
Cash.
Yeah.
To name the next Vampire Weekend record,
"Algo-Rhythm."
And it's in Joker Man font.
Wow.
$12,000.
That's going to garner a 1.8 on Pitchfork.
Doesn't matter what the record sounds like.
Joker Man.
[laughter]
How quickly the sun--
A record title that began as a bit on a radio show.
I'll tell you one thing, though.
If Greta Van Fleet steals my idea to cover Joker Man,
I'm never sticking up for them again.
Do you have a cover song that's in your rotation?
Well, I've been thinking about it a lot as I--
You have a few, man.
--as I look forward to getting back on the road in earnest.
We did a few shows last year.
You guys are playing in earnest this year?
Yes.
[laughter]
The festival?
We're doing a couple nights in earnest Montana.
Yeah.
You guys did Boyz R Back in Town, right?
We did Boyz R Back in Town.
That's sick.
We did that a couple times.
We did it once with Danielle in Japan.
I don't know if it went off that hard at Fuchi Rock,
but then we did it once at a small gig after Lollapalooza
at a club in Chicago.
That [bleep] went off.
I'm just going to say then you should do Jailbreak.
Oh, by Thin Lizzy?
Yeah.
We could add a few more Thin Lizzy songs.
I think you guys should do six Thin Lizzy songs.
To the rotation.
That would work.
You guys are going to be playing a lot of Thin Lizzy tonight.
Historically, the classic Vampire Weekend covers
that we did a lot were Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac.
[humming]
And then one I listened to recently,
there's a video of us playing it in Paris at a house party.
It's a song I always loved from the '60s by the Honeycombs
called Have I the Right.
How's that one go?
♪ Have I the right to hold you ♪
♪ You know I've always told you ♪
It's got really kind of cool, vibey production.
I'll play you the original.
Yeah.
By the Honeycombs.
Oh, yeah. This is all rules.
Yeah. And then like, there's these big stomps on the chorus.
♪ Have I the right to hold you ♪
♪ You know I've always told you ♪
♪ That we must never, ever part ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Have I the right to kiss you ♪
♪ You know I'll always miss you ♪
♪ I've loved you from the very start ♪
♪ Come right back ♪
Boom, boom.
♪ I just can't bear it ♪
♪ I've got to go and I love you, Sherry ♪
♪ Come right back, I'll show my love is gone ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
You get the idea.
Yeah, I remember kind of the very early days
of Van Proegan was starting.
When I was a senior in college,
I became obsessed with that song.
I felt like it had almost like some proto-punk energy.
Sure.
♪ Dun, dun, dun ♪
♪ Have I the right ♪
So we used to cover that.
And then, Fleetwood Mac everywhere,
"Have I the Right to the Honeycombs."
And then we did this kind of sad,
slightly sadder version of "I'm Going Down" by Bruce.
I remember that.
Those are the, I think, the ones that we did the most.
But no, I mean, looking into the future.
Joker Man coming next.
And then next up is Joker Man.
We've actually literally never even attempted this
in practice, so it's possible I might put the kibosh on it.
You guys did a great "Sunday Morning."
Oh, yeah.
I forgot about that.
That was nice, 'cause it was Sunday morning.
♪ Sunday morning ♪
It was Sunday morning, so we did that.
But with like a slow-billed jammy intro.
Yeah, he was playing it on piano.
Right.
Buckethead was on piano.
You gotta take off, Jason.
I gotta take off.
Well, thanks for being on the show.
Guys, what a delight.
Thank you so much for having me.
Great having you.
I would love to.
And we'll say it a couple more times,
but don't forget "The Long Dumb Road" out November 9, 2018.
And available on VOD November 16th.
Right?
Yeah, that's it.
So buy that sh--
Guys, a real funny movie.
I've seen it like 10 times.
I guess the truth is--
I love it.
I quote it around the house all the time.
Notorious movie quoter.
Yeah, it's true.
Jake Longstress.
Fans of the show know.
DC heads know.
I was about to say,
while you tell the people about the VOD,
make sure they go to the theater November 9th.
And then we can tell them.
But then I also remember this show happens every two weeks,
so who the hell knows what's happening.
I just want people to know, listen,
if you're in New York or LA,
you're going to get to see this movie in the theater.
But if you're at home somewhere else--
And Phoenix.
And Phoenix?
Yeah.
And Austin, too, right?
Oh, okay, great.
If you're in any of those cities,
go see the movie for sure.
But if you're not, just f--k, rent it or buy it.
Get it together, guys.
Come on, TC heads.
We're counting on you.
You got to check it out.
The VWNKs?
We got to mobilize the VWNKs and the TC heads
into these theaters, right?
VWNK army, mobilize.
VWNK army.
(laughing)
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
All right, Jake, you ready for the top five?
Yep.
It's time for the top five.
F-f-f-f-f-f-five on iTunes.
This week on the top five,
we're comparing the top five songs on iTunes today
to the top five Billboard hits this week in 1985.
Why 1985?
That was the year that "Long Dome Road" director
Hannah Fidel was born.
And my wife.
I was waiting to see how you were going to put it.
I'm trying to stay on point here.
That's right.
Promoting the film.
I guess ethically you have to do full disclosure.
Ethically.
Yeah, rather than do "and my wife."
It's the year that Hannah Fidel,
director of "Long Dome Road," was born.
Full disclosure, she is my wife.
(laughing)
Does that ever happen on, like, NPR?
That must happen.
It's like...
And here to talk about her new book,
"What's the Matter With Portland?"
Rosalita Lambert Smith.
Full disclosure, she is my wife.
Welcome, Rosalita.
Thank you, Harold.
(laughing)
Well, "Time Crisis" is nothing if not ethical.
And we give all the movies that come out
a very even-handed treatment.
That's true.
We've done a lot of movie promo
on the show over the last three years.
Over the course of our years-long run,
"Time Crisis" has had on hundreds of directors.
No, but it really is a great movie.
Anyway, the number five song in 1985.
This one needs no introduction.
♪ We built this city ♪
Nice.
♪ We built this city on rock and roll ♪
♪ Rock and roll ♪
♪ We built this city ♪
This is "Starship,"
who used to be called "Jefferson Starship,"
which kind of came out of "Jefferson Airplane."
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
Wow.
♪ ♪
Okay.
♪ ♪
Do you know offhand which members of "Jefferson Airplane"
were in "Starship"?
Well, definitely Grace Slick.
Yeah.
♪ I recognize my face ♪
♪ Say you don't care who goes ♪
♪ To that kind of place ♪
♪ Knee deep in the hoopla ♪
That's the name of the album, by the way.
♪ Knee deep in the hoopla ♪
♪ Knee deep in the hoopla ♪
That's such, like, an "of this era" type name.
"Knee deep in the hoopla."
The sound of it-- I mean, this just makes me think
of, like, "Forrest Gump" or something,
or, like, one of those movies where, like,
it shows the span of, like, time from the '60s to the '80s
and, like, the, like, abrupt aesthetic shifts
that were occurring.
Yeah.
♪ We built this city on rock and roll ♪
♪ We built this city ♪
♪ We built this city on rock and roll ♪
♪ We built this city ♪
♪ We built this city on rock and roll ♪
I feel like, fairly or not,
"Starship" became, like, the cliché of the '60s band.
Yeah.
♪ Someone always playing ♪
♪ Corporation games ♪
♪ Who cares, they're always changing ♪
♪ Corporation games ♪
I feel like there was, like,
a "Diplomats" or "Cameron" song,
like, a mixtape song that sampled this
that was, like-- that went, like,
♪ We built this city on rock ♪
Instead of "rock and roll," it was,
"We built this city on rock."
♪ Eyes off the page ♪
♪ Mark Coney plays the mambo ♪
♪ Listen to the radio ♪
♪ You're all to remember ♪
♪ We built this city ♪
♪ We built this city on rock and roll ♪
♪ We built this city ♪
♪ We built this city ♪
Oh, yeah.
( laughs )
♪ All right ♪
♪ Turn, bridge, and whips ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ In the midst of the struggle ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ From bottom to top ♪
I mean, when it works, it works.
That's a pretty good double meaning.
"We built this city on rock and roll,"
but they're talking about drugs.
"We built this city on rock."
Also, like, yeah, them singing,
"We built this city on rock and roll,"
this is, like, the most, like, canned, square usage.
- Sentiment. - Yeah, exactly.
Anyway, the number five song back in 2018,
"Marshmallow and Bastille, Happier."
♪ Lately I've been, I've been thinking ♪
♪ I want you to be happier ♪
♪ I want you to be happier ♪
- I guess this song really has got some lex. - Yeah.
♪ And we see what we've become ♪
♪ In the cold light of day we're a flame in the wind ♪
♪ Not the fire that we begun ♪
♪ Every argument ♪
♪ Every word we can't take back ♪
♪ 'Cause with all that has happened ♪
♪ I think that we both know the way that this story ends ♪
♪ Then only for a minute ♪
♪ I want to change my mind ♪
♪ 'Cause this just don't feel right to me ♪
♪ I want to raise your spirits ♪
♪ I want to see you smile ♪
♪ Know that means I'll have to leave ♪
- The number four song back in '85,
after "Starship We Built This City,"
is another city song, "You Belong to the City" by Glenn Fry.
- Oh, wow. - Who was a member
of the Eagles, and he wrote the song
for the Miami Vice soundtrack,
which was a popular TV show in the '80s.
[sad music]
♪ ♪
- There's a Pepsi commercial in '85
featuring Fry and Miami Vice star Don Johnson.
They used a version of this song with product-specific lyrics.
Now, the other guy on Miami Vice,
Philip Michael Thomas, did not appear in that commercial
due to prior obligations
for a sun-kissed grape commercial.
- These guys are cleaning up.
[upbeat music]
Glenn Fry and Don Johnson seem like two peas in a pod.
- Oh, yeah, they probably had some fun nights
back in the '80s.
♪ ♪
Really taking a long time for the vocals to kick in.
♪ ♪
- ♪ The sun goes down ♪
♪ The night rolls in ♪
♪ You can feel it starting all over again ♪
- Pepsi. - ♪ And the music calls ♪
♪ You're getting tired of staring at the same four walls ♪
♪ You're out of your mind ♪
- Doesn't even sound like Glenn Fry.
- ♪ Down the street ♪
♪ Moving through the crowd ♪
- ♪ And you're pounding Brad's drink ♪
- [laughing]
- ♪ The sirens scream ♪
♪ You look at their faces ♪
♪ It's just like a dream ♪
♪ Nobody knows where you're going ♪
♪ Merge with Reno Lake Corporation ♪
♪ 'Cause you belong to the city ♪
♪ You belong to the night ♪
♪ Living in a river of darkness ♪
♪ Beneath the neon lights ♪
- There's, like, barely any trace of Glenn in that.
- I'm not very into that song.
- I would not even-- if I just heard that
and I didn't know it was Glenn Fry,
I would never know it was Glenn Fry.
- Talking about rappers sampling '80s songs,
have you heard the Jay-Z song "The City is Mine"
that samples-- - "You Belong to the City"?
- Yeah. - Maybe we should give it
a quick spin.
- That song reminds me of, like,
when, like, an indie director gets hired
to direct, like, a huge Marvel movie,
and you're, like, watching it, and you're like,
"Is there any trace of this person's..."
- Right. - "Artistic vision?"
- ♪ You belong to the night ♪
- What year is this?
- This would have been '97. - Wow.
- This was right after Notorious B.I.G. died,
and there was, like, a bit of a Cold War
between Jay-Z and Nas over who was the king
of New York rap. - Mm.
- ♪ I'll be holding it down, yo, still love to throw ♪
♪ Got these ladies on the... now, you know how we go ♪
♪ Got the whole world on lockdown, you know how we flow ♪
♪ Don't worry about Brooklyn, I'll continue to flame ♪
♪ The whole world with amnesia, won't forget your name ♪
- Glenn Fry! - ♪ Let me take those frames ♪
♪ And just like the spirit of commission remains ♪
♪ 'Cause the teasing, Dr. Oz... ♪
- Jay-Z playing that for one of his friends,
and his friends are like, "What's that sample from?"
Glenn Fry. - Never really liked
the Eagles, but Glenn Fry's solo work in the '80s, man.
Whoo!
The number four song back in 2018,
"Lady Gaga," always remember us this way.
I still haven't seen "Stars Born."
- ♪ Federals on the sky ♪
♪ Burning in your eyes ♪
- Are there any iconic samples of the Eagles
in hip-hop history? - Mm-hmm.
- Did someone sample, like, Hotel California or anything?
- Well, Frank Ocean, on one of his early mixtapes,
wrote a whole song over Hotel California.
- Oh, I remember that. I think we talked about it
on the show. - Yeah.
Henley shut that down real quick.
- Wasn't feeling it.
- ♪ You found the light in me that I couldn't find ♪
♪
♪ So when I'm all choked up ♪
♪ And I can't find the words ♪
- Looks like Limp Bizkit sampled "Life in the Fast Lane."
- Oh, that's so rough. - Classic hip-hop.
- Not really part of hip-hop history, but...
- Hey, you watch your bargain, buddy.
- ♪ When the sun goes down ♪
♪ And the band won't play ♪
♪ I'll always remember us this way ♪
♪ Lovers in the night ♪
♪ Though it's trying to rise ♪
- I kind of want to see the one from the '70s.
- With Chris Christopherson and Barbra Streisand?
- Right. - I don't want to talk about
this movie I haven't seen anymore.
- Yeah, let's just-- - I'm so late.
- You want to just go catch, like, a noon screening?
- Yeah, man, do it. - Solo noon screening.
- People that you've talked to who have seen it,
have you gotten an overall sense?
Are people mixed? Are people liking it, or what?
- The vast majority of people were pleasantly surprised.
Said it was very good. I'm excited to see it.
It's got a real buzz.
The number three song in 1985.
- You heard it here on TC. "Star is Born."
- Everybody's talking about this movie, "Star is Born."
Jake, box office predictions.
- It's gonna pale in comparison to "Long Dumb Road,"
let me tell you. - Oh, yeah.
The number three song in '85,
"Cheers for Fears," head over heels.
- Oh, geez. - Now, this song,
for my generation, us silverback millennials,
we were only one, zero, two years old.
- Yeah. - In 1985.
We didn't know what was on the charts.
- Zero. - But when we were
a little bit older, at a very impressionable age,
kind of tween age, 13, 14, maybe,
some movie came out that this was on the soundtrack to.
What movie am I thinking of? Was it "Donnie Darko"?
Was this in "Donnie Darko"? - I don't know.
Was it in "Breakfast Club" or...?
- No, but this is like-- - Oh, but, like,
it came out in 2000 or whatever.
- "Donnie Darko" is a major film
for silverback millennials. - Yeah.
- It's kind of our "Star is Born."
Was that movie a big deal for you, Jake, when it came out?
- No. - You're, like, too old.
You're like, "This movie f---ing sucks."
- No, I didn't think that.
I remember there was a lot of buzz around it,
and then I saw it, and I just--
it didn't do it for me.
[upbeat music]
- ♪ I wanted to be with you and you ♪
- Tight song, though. - Mm-hmm.
- ♪ Talk about the weather ♪
- ♪ The weather ♪
- ♪ But traditions I've been chasing ♪
♪ It's a jolly good thing ♪
- Yeah, it was "Donnie Darko."
- Major film.
- What was that, like, kind of very melancholic ballad
that was in "Donnie Darko"?
- Well, there's also "The Killing Moon"
by Echo and the Bunnymen. - Oh, sure, sure.
- "Under the Milky Way" by The Church.
- Is that one of-- - There's a cover of "Mad World."
- I didn't know this-- like, I still don't know
what that song is. - Well, the original's
by "Tears for Fears," and then there was this, like--
- Oh, really?
- ♪ Mad world ♪
♪ All around me are familiar faces ♪
- "Donnie Darko," a very influential film.
That's one of those movies that,
when you're a silverback millennial,
it's hard. - It really opened your third eye.
Wait, Seinfeld, how old are you?
- 36.
- Ah, different generation.
- So that hit-- - Wait, so you were born '82?
- Yeah.
- When did "Donnie Darko" come out?
- '99, 2000.
So "Darko" hit you hard.
- Yeah, we were, like, renting that [bleep]
all this time.
Okay, it came out in 2001,
so I was 17. - Uh-huh.
- Yeah, that's the thing.
I was still in high school when it came out.
- Yep. - Maybe if I'd been
in college, I would've been a little,
you know, after I'd been more indoctrinated
by collegiate types, I would've been like,
"This movie sucks.
It's not intertextual.
It's not Borghesean."
It like-- [laughs]
It lacks the Borghesean, labyrinthine,
Hall of Mirrors quality of, say, a Greta Van Fleet album.
- Have you seen it recently?
- No, I'm sure now I would look down on it, you know?
- Look down on it.
- In 2001, also, by the time this was on video,
"America's Reeling Post-9/11,"
I barely remember what this movie's about,
but I feel like there's something about a plane crash.
So I feel like for our generation--
okay, let's see.
Well, I was at the very tail end of high school,
so I'm basically the outer limits
of the Donnie Darko generation.
Now, Jake, you identify with Gen X, right?
- I don't really know if I do.
I think of that as, like, people older than me.
- Okay, maybe you got lost in the years
between-- - Like, who are the classic
Gen X figures? - It depends,
because there's the people who are popular
than, like, an Eddie Vedder, a Kurt Cobain, or something.
- Those guys are, like, ten years older than me.
- So maybe you got lost in the years between.
- I think I did.
- But I always-- millennial was always an uneasy fit,
and I knew that there was a better way
to describe what I was,
and that was a Generation DD, Generation Donnie Darko.
And that's people-- you have to have been in high school
between March 2002, which I was,
for another few months,
and February 2004, when Facebook launched.
- You know what's crazy?
I was three years out of college then,
and you were still in high school.
- The days between. - Yeah, man.
- The years-- ♪ There were years ♪
And a lot of millennials on either end
don't understand the tremendous amount of pressure
that was put on Generation DD.
We didn't have Facebook at that moment.
We didn't have Facebook to talk about Donnie Darko.
- I would think that would actually create less pressure.
- [laughs]
I should make it even more specific.
If your senior year of high school
included September 11th,
the September 11th tax on America,
and the VHS/DVD release of Donnie Darko,
your Generation DD,
basically means that you're high school class of '02.
Is anybody else out there part of my generation?
I don't relate to these people
who graduated high school in 2001.
I don't relate to these people
who graduated high school in 2003.
They didn't know what it was like
to rent Donnie Darko as a senior--
- Six months after 9/11. - Six months after 9/11.
Just picture that.
We're trying to make sense of this crazy world.
We're still three months off from graduating
from high school,
and we're being introduced to songs like this.
[piano music]
♪
The number three song, 2018,
"Pink," "A Million Dreams."
Pink is back.
- Pink has a new album? - I don't know.
She has a new song.
[piano music]
♪ Pink going coffee shop ♪
♪ Global coffee shop ♪
- This also has a little-- - This is, like, real serious.
- This is super commercial, too.
♪ I close my eyes and I can see ♪
Like, before it comes in, just, like--
it could be a lot of things. - Oh, yeah.
"Your health is important to you."
[piano music]
- Just, like, images of people running around.
- Or just, like-- - "Because our bank cares about you."
- Yeah, there's, like, a family in, like, a Volkswagen Jetta.
- Yeah. - And Dad's turning around
and kind of laughing with the kids.
- Yeah. [laughs]
♪ For me that I call my own ♪
'Cause it's the little things that count.
Yeah, this music--you know, like, when--
have you ever looked through, like, library music
where it's, like, these kind of, like, songs that are made?
And sometimes they'll just describe straight up
what it's supposed to connote.
It'll just be, like, technology, sense of unease.
- Oh, wow. - This one could be, like--
- And it's, like, a weird kid A rip-off.
- Yeah.
♪ They can say they can say I've lost my mind ♪
This one would be, like, bank ad.
A sense of comfort that family is all that really matters.
- Relevant industries, pharmaceutical, banking.
- Yeah, totally. - Real estate.
- ♪ We can live in a world that we design ♪
♪ 'Cause every night I lie in bed ♪
♪ The brightest colors fill my head ♪
- This is from "The Greatest Showman Reimagined."
- What is that? - I'm just curious, Jake.
Can you remotely figure out what that is?
This album is called "The Greatest Showman Reimagined."
- Is that the sequel to "The Greatest Showman"?
Wasn't that, like, a Hugh Jackman movie?
- Okay, good. - Nice.
- This is a forthcoming album.
Sorry, I should have made it clear.
It's "The Greatest Showman," colon, "Reimagined."
So it's cover versions of songs from "The Greatest Showman,"
which is a musical.
- Hard pass.
- [laughs]
"Relevant industries, pharmaceutical."
[laughs]
- Yeah, like what?
- "Relevant industries, agriculture."
- It also kind of reminds me,
not that there's that many of these commercials,
but that vibe of, like,
a giant corporation apologizing for something
and being like, "We're getting back to basics."
You know what I mean? Just like, it could be just like...
Remember there was, like, those weird-ass Facebook ads
that were like, like, "First, it was about friends."
"Then it was about games, business, content."
- Stories. - Stories.
- News.
- "But then it was infiltrated by Russian bots and neo-Nazis."
"That was pretty confusing."
"Anyway, now it's about friends again."
- Like, there's a commercial just like that?
- Wow.
Like, it was just playing on, like, network television.
- Yeah, and also, I've noticed--
this was, like, around the time when we were touring,
'cause I remember, like, Groggily,
like, waking up from, like, a 45-minute nap in Australia.
Just, like, when I first got there
and I had to, like, go to this meeting,
I was, like, so burned out.
And just seeing across the street, like,
basically in Australia, like, halfway around the world,
just like a, "Hey, we're sorry," from Facebook.
It was like a street poster. - Really?
- On the streets of Sydney. - I did not see that in, like--
- No, they did a whole campaign.
- Street advertising in the United States like that.
- I feel like also, the past few years,
I've caught, like, Koch Industries,
like, the Koch brothers. - Sure, sure.
- Also known as the Koch brothers to some.
Basically did these, like, really weird ads
where they were kind of like, "What do we do?
"We're a family. We're good people."
It was, like, very-- it was literally
just some weird PR thing, just like--
- Wow. Facebook sucks.
- [laughs]
- People should get off Facebook.
- Quit Facebook. - It sucks.
It's a huge time suck.
- Yes, Facebook says, "Sorry,"
in its biggest ever ad campaign.
- Sorry.
- The new campaign's tagline is, "Here Together."
- Our bad. - Our bad.
- And it's still a complete cesspool.
David and Jack-- I mean, I'm not even on Facebook.
I haven't been on in years, but from what I'm hearing...
- Yeah. - People are talking.
- Not that into Facebook anymore.
- It's still a cesspool.
[soft music]
- Seems like you didn't like our last ad campaign.
Came across as...
entitled, smug.
- A little cavalier. - A little cavalier.
We're here to say sorry.
- ♪ I close my eyes ♪
- Again. Again.
That's just like a Portlandia sketch.
It's, like, over and over again.
- The number two song in '85,
Stevie Wonder, "Part-Time Lover."
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Is this Stevie Wonder? - This is confusing me.
There's, like, another-- what's that song
with Philip Bailey and Phil Collins?
Right.
- ♪ Call up the big boss ♪
♪ Hang up the phone ♪
- That's definitely Stevie Wonder.
- ♪ 'Cause I know you made it home ♪
♪ Don't want nothing to be wrong ♪
♪ With a part-time lover ♪
- Oh, yeah, I'm thinking of...
♪ Easy lover ♪
♪ She gotta hold on, you believe me ♪
I guess they're different enough.
That hi-hat's on fire.
[imitates hi-hat]
- ♪ We are undercover fashion on the run ♪
♪ Chasing love up against the sun ♪
♪ We got strangers finding lovers by night ♪
♪ Knowing it's so wrong ♪
- Can't go wrong with Stevie.
- See, he's one of those guys that, like,
had huge hits in the '60s, '70s, and '80s,
but never felt out of step
with the production choices he was making.
I mean, it all felt, like, true to him.
- Oh, yeah.
- The Jefferson Starship was just, like--
they just felt, like, not in their skin.
- No, nobody's making fun of Stevie Wonder in the '80s.
- Wow, that stuff's awesome.
- Remember on "The Cosby Show"
where he taught America about sampling?
- I don't, but...
- Whatever, there's a thing with Stevie Wonder,
and he's, like--he brings his, like, sampling keyboard,
like, this giant--
- Like, to the Huxtable household?
- They come to his studio. - Oh.
- And there's, like, some part
where he's sampling everybody's voice
and pitch-shifting it,
and nobody had ever seen anything like that.
The number two song back in 2018,
"Halsey." Haven't heard from her in a while.
- Okay. - Do you remember who Halsey is?
- I don't. - Remember the name.
- I never had anything beyond the name.
- She's a pop singer.
- She's cool. She's from New Jersey,
so I'll always ride for her.
- I just wanted to point out
that she was briefly in "A Star is Born."
- Oh, yeah. - Wait, "Halsey"
is in "A Star is Born"? - Brief cameo.
- What part? - Well, you heard it here--
you heard it here first, folks.
- What part? - Is that true?
Is this a bit-- - No, it's quick,
and it's somewhat inconsequential.
- Like-- - So I'm not--
- Does she have a line? Does she play Halsey?
- I think she does play herself,
and I think she has... - One line?
- One quick line.
This is right before a pivotal scene.
- Is this at the Grammys? - Yes.
- Okay. So in the "A Star is Born" universe...
- Here we go. - Here we go.
(laughter)
- The S-I--
- The A-S-I-B-U.
- A-C-B-O.
Oh, no, the A-C-B-U.
Is A-C-B-U a word?
- It is now.
- In the A-C-B-U,
we are to understand that Lady Gaga, the pop star,
does not exist. - Correct.
- However, her avatar, Ally, exists,
as does Halsey.
- I mean, Gaga could exist. - That's true.
- You know what I like about you?
You remind me of, like, a Lady Gaga
without all the bullsh--.
That would be amazing.
- Wait, hold on. I gotta--
I was recently shown this
that I guess on her press tour.
And by the way, I've always been into Lady Gaga.
I think she's cool.
Met her a few times.
I always thought she was super cool.
She's Italian-American from New York, you know.
That's a huge plus for me. - Yep.
- And I always thought she was an interesting musician
and a great songwriter.
But with her, she's very Borgesian,
similar to, say, the Greta Van Fleet
or South American writer Borges.
There's a lot of intertextuality.
There's a lot of playing with reality.
There's layers to what she does.
And I think in some ways, her playing this role
in "A Star is Born" is classic Borgesian Gaga.
- For sure. - But so check this out.
I guess, you know, she's clearly been on a huge press tour...
- Yeah, sure. - For the film,
along with Bradley Cooper.
And somebody put this video together
that's going through all these different events
and interviews.
- There can be 100 people in the room
and 99 don't believe in you.
But I had this one incredible talent.
- She's pointing to Bradley. - With me.
There can be 100 people in the room
and 99 don't believe in you,
and you just need one to believe in you.
- She points to Bradley there. - And that was him, so...
You can have 100 people in the room
that are watching you and 99 don't believe in you.
- So she's got her talking points down. - And one does,
and that was him, so...
You know, there could be 100 people in the room
and 99 don't believe, but all it takes is one.
You know, 100 people can be in a room
and 99 don't believe in you,
and just one person believes in you,
and it can change everything.
- There can be 100 people in the room
and 99 don't believe in you, and just one person.
- Someone spent the time to edit this together.
- I was thinking about it because, like, you know,
some people would look at that,
and the kind of basic take would be like,
"Oh, she's fake." - Yeah, sure.
- Saying this over and over again,
and I was kind of like, "Well,
having certainly not at a Lady Gaga level
but done lots and lots of press,
you get asked the same questions over and over again."
- Sure, sure.
- I've never had, like, a quote like that
that I would say over and over again.
- Word for word, right?
- 'Cause I would have been in my head about that.
- Sure.
- I don't know, I'm thinking so many things here.
One is, is this just classic Lady Gaga
on her Greta Van Fleet Borges manipulation of reality,
layers of meaning, irony, whatever?
- You mean, like, she, like, anticipated someone
editing that video together?
- Well, here's the thing, like,
it's not like you're taking 40 years of, like, you know,
Bill Clinton speeches and being like,
"You know, he says the same thing over and over again."
This is, like, within probably a 60-day period.
- Sure.
- So it's hard to imagine that she's not aware
that she's repeating the same thing over and over again,
unless you think she's, like, living in an alternate reality.
So then my question is, is she just like,
"Listen, when people ask you for an interview,
they want a good interview."
If something, I go play the same show every night
and I put on the same emotion
when I'm on one of my famous stadium tours,
I'll sing the same, ♪ Ra ra ooh la ma ♪
and I'll put the same energy into it,
or maybe there's something even more interesting afoot.
Did she talk about it with Bradley Cooper?
He's present at most of these.
- I love the thing about Bradley Cooper observing this.
- He's like, "You sure like that
'100 people in the room' phrase?
I mean, it's nice.
I'm glad I made you feel that way,
but, yeah, where'd you come up with that?"
She's like, "Oh, you know, maybe they talk about it."
And she's like, "Oh, you know, that's literally how I felt,
and I don't think there's any better way
to phrase it than that.
It's memorable that way,
so I'm just gonna keep saying it."
And he's like, "Okay, I'll act like I heard it
the first time."
- I'm an actor. - I'm an actor.
- Then she says it to him sincerely, privately.
"You know, Bradley, I mean,
there was 100 people in the room."
- Yeah. - "99 of them
didn't believe in me, but you did."
- Yeah, and he's just like--
- "Yeah, I heard you say that on stage."
- "Yeah, I know that."
Well, I really appreciate that, Stephanie,
but I gotta say, I think you're being a little too hard
on the rest of the crew.
For you to imply that the caterers, the grips,
the set dressers, the camera operators,
the script coordinators, the other actors,
to imply that Paul Giamatti and Halsey,
that all 99 of the other people didn't believe in you,
I don't know, it seems a bit much.
I did cast you in the movie.
I believed in you the most,
but I don't think the prop guy didn't believe in you."
- Frankly, I don't think he was that invested
in the project.
- Yeah, when he says something that much,
you also start to look at the other side of it.
You're just like, "Who are these 99 assholes
who didn't believe in Gaga?"
- Yeah, if a crew person on that movie
is watching that interview and is like,
"I believed in her.
I hope she's not talking about me."
- I would've felt like I was overstepping
to compliment her.
- I mean, I was trying to give off a good vibe,
but also stay professional.
- Yeah.
I mean, I was really focused on trying
to catch continuity errors.
- Like him emailing her manager.
"Could you just forward this to her?
I just wanted to make sure everything's cool."
That said, Gaga's great in the film.
- No, she's cool.
- Very earthy in it.
- I liked Ally's music.
I gotta say, when she did that performance on--
- "SNL"? - Yeah.
- I like when-- - How many spoilers are we--
- I like when Sam Elliott just, like,
wanders into the set of "SNL."
- Oh, Cart Blast.
- I'm sure it's just easy to wander
onto the set of "SNL" when they're live on TV.
- He's friends with Lauren.
Famously, "SNL" doesn't like people filming [bleep] backstage.
- Yeah, I'm not surprised by that.
Where are we?
- Here's "Without Me" by Halsey.
- Oh, yeah.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ One night, you can have 100 people in a room ♪
♪ 99 don't believe in you ♪
- ♪ Found you when your heart was broke ♪
♪ I filled you up until it overflowed ♪
♪ Took it so far to keep you close ♪
♪ I was afraid to leave you on your own ♪
♪ I said I'd catch you if you fall ♪
- The track is a breakup song
and is speculated to be about her breakup with G-Eazy.
Did you hear that they broke up, Jake?
- I didn't.
Not familiar with G-Eazy either.
- Who's the rapper?
- I did hear about the Pete Davidson/Ariana Grande breakup.
- Oh, yeah. I was rooting for them.
Very tapped in on that.
- ♪ I put you up there ♪
♪ Damn, in the sky, does it ever get lonely? ♪
♪ Thinking you could live without me ♪
♪ Thinking you could live without me ♪
♪ Baby, I'm the one who put you up there ♪
♪ I don't know why ♪
♪ Thinking you could live without me ♪
♪ Live without me ♪
- Did you have any feelings when you heard
Pete Davidson/Ariana Grande broke up?
- Um, I don't think so.
Just felt nothing.
- You felt nothing, Seinfeld?
- Did you feel something?
- I guess I always root for the underdog.
- Okay.
- It was hard for me to understand
why they'd want to put all their business
on Main Street that way.
- Yeah.
- But, you know, she's such a massive pop star,
maybe she has no choice.
You just never want to see the haters win.
Although then I read a conspiracy theory
that actually had broken up,
which would be quite Borgesian,
even though they're still dating.
- That's a good premise for a "Star is Born"
kind of movie, like sequel.
- "A Star is Born 2," Pete Davidson/Ariana Grande.
- Yeah, just high profile pretending to break up.
- That could be interesting.
Maybe every edition of the "Asibu,"
rather than continuing to make
"A Star is Born" over and over again,
although that would be very Borgesian,
is if "Asibu 2,"
Ally and Jackson Maine decide to make a movie
about their experience,
and eventually they make the film "A Star is Born."
Here's a question, in the "Asibu,"
is it canon that the previous versions
of "A Star is Born" exist?
Do they ever just like look at each other
and just like, "Look at us.
We're like Chris Christopherson
and Barbra Streisand in that movie."
Well, I haven't actually seen that movie, Jackson.
- I was thinking more like Judy Garland
and what's his, George Mason?
(laughing)
From the 1954 version.
- There's no moments like that?
- No.
- It's implied.
It's implied a "Asibu" canon,
but it's never explicit.
- Is there ever a tip of the hat?
Is he ever just like,
is there any like a reference
to Chris Christopherson or Barbra Streisand?
- That'd be cool.
I think after the credits,
there's like a Marvel-esque sequence
where they do reference the--
- I can picture like in Jackson Maine's house,
'cause he's had this like,
he has this big vinyl collection,
which is like a minor plot point.
- He has a big vinyl collection?
- Yeah, and it's a minor plot point.
And I could see like there were like a framed,
like Chris Christopherson like concert poster
from like the '70s.
- Yeah, just a little tip of the hat.
- Kind of just like hiding in the back.
I could see that.
- They call that an Easter egg.
- The number one song in 1985,
also from the Miami Vice soundtrack.
This is the Miami Vice theme by the synth god.
I assume it's Yonhammer, but maybe it's Janhammer.
This was the last instrumental
to top the Billboard Hot 100 until a song in 2013.
You remember what instrumental song
topped the chart in 2013?
- No.
- "Sick" by Bauer.
Although that did have some vocals.
This kind of sounds like keywords,
technology, a sense of unease.
Industry, the growing dominance of post-war Japan.
Wow, this is rough.
Number one, how is this number one?
Wow, I guess people were just so hyped on Miami Vice.
Wow.
Yeah, this is not easy listening.
This is harsh.
It's giving me anxiety.
It's giving me technological anxiety.
It's also so like a current affair.
- Yeah, it's a real deal.
- It's like a really (beep) fake news show.
- Oh my God.
- You like just like the really fast credits.
- Yeah.
Anyway, no surprises here.
The number one song.
♪ In the shallows la la la ♪
2018, "Shallow", Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper.
♪ Tell me something ♪
♪ Mm-hmm ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Tell me something girl ♪
♪ Are you happy in this my world ♪
- I guess there are some Easter eggs.
And a star is born.
- Yeah.
- There's a Judy Garland homage.
- Okay, here we go.
♪ I'm falling ♪
♪ I'm falling ♪
♪ In all the good times I find myself longing ♪
- Every version of "A Star is Born"
has some kind of thing about eyebrows.
♪ And in the bad times I fear myself ♪
- Pull those eyebrows off, I wanna see your real face.
(laughing)
♪ Tell me something boy ♪
♪ Aren't you tired trying to fill that void ♪
♪ Or do you need more ♪
♪ Ain't it hard keeping it so hardcore ♪
♪ I'm falling ♪
- It's so hard to picture this movie
when all I've heard is the music and talked about.
I just can't picture them
talking to each other.
- The beginning of the movie,
they really do like a canny job
of playing with Gaga's personality
'cause in the beginning she's all made up.
She's performing at a club
and she's like has a ton of makeup on.
And he's just like,
I wanna see the real you.
♪ Crash through the sun glass ♪
♪ When they can't hurt us ♪
♪ We're far from the shallow now ♪
♪ In the shallow, shallow ♪
♪ In the shallow, shallow ♪
- Oh, it's just in the shallow?
I thought it was shallows, right?
The song's called Shallow, I don't think.
♪ We're far from the shallow now ♪
- No, they're just saying shallow.
We're far from the shallow now.
- Oh, the shallows.
What does that mean?
We're far, whatever.
- You know, I thought it was shallows too.
Is that the Mandela effect?
- I guess so.
- Where everybody--
- Well, it's just logical.
We're in the shallow?
Shallow is not a noun.
- Yeah.
- And she's talking about being in the deep end.
- Right.
♪ I'll never meet the ground ♪
- Okay, but deep end implies a pool.
You don't call the, shallows would be like in the ocean,
right?
♪ In the shallow now ♪
- Yeah, there's no S there.
- Shallow now.
♪ In the shallow ♪
- No, I guess you can just call it,
you'd call it the shallow.
Yeah, it's in the dictionary.
An area of the sea or lake.
- The shallow, okay.
- Can you say the shallows?
- You know what I think,
'cause there's that Blake Lively shark movie
from a couple years ago, The Shallows.
You remember that movie?
- Great reference.
- All it took was the Blake Lively movie
to just totally (beep) us up.
♪ And all my life ♪
♪ I'm waiting for someone like you ♪
- KC Jojo.
♪ And I hope that you feel that way too ♪
♪ All my life ♪
- That's what it makes it.
But there's a lot of chords.
♪ A dream of someone like ♪
- Yeah, classic descending chord progression.
♪ In the shallow, shallow ♪
- I've never heard shallow used
as anything but an adjective.
- It's a noun.
- It's not a thing.
- It's a noun.
- All right, well, technically, but not--
- Wow, can I go to the pool?
Honey, okay, honey, just stay in the shallow.
The shallow what?
Just stay in the shallow, honey.
- Yeah, but do that with shallows.
- Shallows, shallows, an adjective.
- Stay in the shallows, honey.
That doesn't sound good.
(laughing)
- You don't ever say either one of those in normal.
- That's true.
- In a pool, you have the deep end
and the shallow end, right?
- In the shallows.
It's usually shallows.
- Wait, wait, but hold on.
In a pool, do you even talk about the shallow end?
Is that a thing?
- Yeah.
- You say the shallow end?
- Yeah.
- Bob, I wanna go to the pool.
- Cool.
- Okay, honey, stay in the shallow end.
- Really? - That sounds right.
- That's a normal thing to say?
- Yeah.
- Is that a normal thing just for Joe Sixpack to say?
- Oh yeah.
- Joe the Plumber would say that
'cause if you go in the deep end.
- I don't know, I could imagine maybe a lord or lady
saying something like that,
but you're telling me that just Joe Schmo
would say, "Stay in the shallow end."
- Well, Joe the Plumber has an above ground pool.
(laughing)
There's no, it's all the same.
- It's flat.
- How often do you replace the water
in an above ground pool?
Do you leave it, do you just cover it?
- And also, do you just fill it up?
- Yeah, you cover it in the winter.
- Do you use a hose or you need a specialist to come?
- Pretty sure with a hose.
- Wait, you cover it in the winter so it just freezes?
- Oh, you probably drain an above ground, you're right.
- You drain it.
- Well, yeah, people will drain
an inground too.
Guys, I have to say it.
This show rules.
(laughing)
What are you listening to?
Oh, this radio show,
the guy from "Vampire Weekend"
is just idly speculating about whether you drain
an inground pool.
(laughing)
- Nice thing about an above ground pool,
there's no deep end, there's no shallow end.
It's all the same level.
♪ In the above ground pool ♪
- Oh, I just wanted to say one last thing.
This is the segment on "Time Crisis"
we call "One Last Thing."
And it's when I think of one last thing
that I wanna say that's related to,
usually the second to last thing
that we were talking about.
Recently, I heard a woman refer to herself as a landlady.
And I thought for a second,
why's it gotta be landlady?
Lady seems kind of diminutive.
Why can't you be a female landlord?
It's not landman.
Why's it gotta be landlady?
It's not land guy and landlady.
What does lord have to do with lady?
Oh my God.
- Lord and lady.
- Lord and lady.
Lord and lady.
It tracks, it makes perfect sense.
- This is like your own Sebastian,
what's that guy's name, that comedian?
- Oh, Sebastian Maniscalo.
- This is your own Sebastian Maniscalo bit.
- I mean, what are you talking about?
I'm dropping off a check stained with Chipotle guacamole.
I'm not a lord and lady.
Give me a break.
Living in a railroad apartment isn't lord and lady.
But anyway.
- That's one last thing.
Lord and lady.
- Also, two days from now.
- Yeah.
- Tuesday, November 6th.
- You gotta vote.
- Election day.
I already mailed in my ballot.
- Oh yeah, me too.
I voted ahead of time.
- So if you're in, you know, Florida, whatever,
get out there and vote.
Texas.
- Good lord.
You gotta.
- Get out there.
Don't sit on your ass.
I mean, you really gotta.
- It's scary out there, man.
- All joking aside, I know this is a fun show.
- Oh yeah, but you gotta vote.
And you know what?
On Time Crisis, we don't get political often.
And it's not 'cause we don't believe in politics.
We're not one of those stars who stays away from politics
who are scared of offending people.
But that said, get out there and vote.
- Vote straight dem on this one.
- If you're in one of those places where you can,
you know, vote.
I don't know, vote for the socialists.
I don't know.
- No, but if you're like voting in Florida
for governor, vote for the dem.
Andrew, what's his name, Gillum?
- Gillum.
You vote for Stacey Abrams in Georgia.
Oh, you know one thing I'll say about Stacey Abrams?
If she wins, and it's a real tough fight there in Georgia.
- Down to the wire.
- Except we're like not political,
but like we're so dolling.
Down there in Georgia, it's gonna be a real tough fight
'cause Georgia has like some real
gnarly voter suppression issues.
Get this, folks.
If Stacey Abrams wins in Georgia,
first black female governor ever in the United States.
- Wow.
- Come on.
- That's wild.
- Anyway.
- Also, one last thing.
(laughing)
- This is like a whole new way of organizing the show.
It's like we talk guest, top five,
20 to 30 of last things.
Yeah, what's your one last thing?
- Long Dumb Road.
- Oh, check out Long Dumb Road.
- Two big events this month,
Election Day on Tuesday,
and then Long Dumb Road on the 16th.
- And one last thing, one final thing.
- Just one.
- Just one final thing.
Do you think if you are married to a landlord,
even if you don't participate in his lording business,
his lording of the land,
that you are still a landlady
solely by virtue of being married to the landlord
and vice versa if you marry,
say Jake, you marry Hannah.
- I did.
- Okay, so one down.
And she presides over a vast real estate portfolio
of various apartment buildings around LA,
and that's how she makes her money.
- In commercial real estate.
- In commercial real estate.
So you married a landlady,
but you're still painting, doing radio, playing music.
- I'd be the landlady's husband.
- You wouldn't be a landlord?
- I don't think so, maybe.
- Well, according to the rules,
by marrying a landlady, you become a landlord
whether or not you participate in the lading of the land.
And one last thing, we'll be back in two weeks.
Thanks for listening, good night.
- "Time Crisis" with Ezra King.
Be-be-be-be-be-be-beast.
One.
(music fades)
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