Episode 9: Jerrod Carmichael & Rashida Jones
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Beats 1.
Time Crisis Episode 9.
It's the day after Halloween.
Everyone's lying in bed, counting their candy, and listening to Apple Beats 1.
Today I'm back in Los Angeles, joined by actress/writer Rashida Jones, and actor/writer Gerard Carmichael.
You might know them from films and programs, but today I'll be taking them way outside
their comfort zone, as we discuss my favorite medium, music.
This is Time Crisis, with Ezra Koenig.
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That was Naturally 7, with a beautiful a cappella rendition of the Rolling Stones song, "As Tears Go By."
Welcome to Time Crisis.
I'm your host, Ezra.
This is our ninth episode.
It's crazy.
It's our first episode that doesn't have our usual co-hosts, Jake Longstreth, Despot Asher.
But I'm very lucky, because I'm back in L.A., that I was able to call some friends.
We have actress/writer Rashida Jones.
What's up, Rashida?
What's up, Ezra?
Welcome back to Time Crisis.
Thank you.
You're a Time Crisis alum.
Yeah, I would say I'm top five.
You're head of the Alumni Association.
Kind of.
When it comes to Time Crisis.
And it's not just the two of us today, because there's a man that we were all doing karaoke with only a few weeks ago.
One of the greatest moments of my life.
Comedian, actor, I would say my favorite comedian and actor and writer and creator of his own show, which is called The Gerard Carmichael Show.
The Carmichael Show.
Just The Carmichael Show.
But I'm a day one fan, because I was at the taping of the pilot.
You were right there.
And it used to be called Go Gerard Go.
It was Go Gerard Go back when we were young.
That's right.
Were you like on the floor, like clapping?
Like, Go Gerard Go.
No, you have to be very quiet.
You might not know this, but when you're on a TV set, you've got to keep it real quiet.
Teach me, Dad.
You have to be very quiet on a TV set.
I remember it was great.
They had North Carolina themed food for the guests, because you're from North Carolina.
Yeah, which kept everyone seated.
That's what North Carolina is.
Just napping.
Yeah, just napping.
Everyone's horizontal.
It's in front of a live audience, though, right?
Live audience, yeah.
You need people to laugh.
Yeah, it's fun to have that reaction, and to be there, and just to have people to know
something works immediately.
It's really, really fun.
And the show's got, you're going to do a second season very soon?
Yeah, I'm calling it season one reloaded, because we did six episodes, and now we're
doing 13.
But yeah, I'll say second.
Let's say second, for legal purposes, let's say second.
That was like Parks and Recreation was like that.
Yeah, it started with just six episodes.
And then it's just like, and now season two is like, all right, you say so.
Yeah, fine.
We're very lucky to have two very talented performers on the show, but also, this show's
primarily about music.
I don't know if I told you guys that.
I know.
You guys know a bit about music.
You're a big music fan.
I love, I love.
You and I have had some many, many long conversations about music.
I texted you.
I'm infatuated.
I'm like a year late on New Dorp.
I texted Ezra about New Dorp.
I heard it like recently.
Right, right.
And then I just texted you.
I was like, this is the greatest song of all time.
You should know that.
I just like, literally, like, if there's more than eight seconds of silence, it plays in
my head.
Really?
Oh, wow.
To go to?
It became like default song.
Like, I'm just infatuated with it.
Can we get it on the Carmichael show?
Absolutely.
That could be the opening.
The theme song.
People are just like, they don't know what the, it's like, hey man.
I had that with a song for like 15 years, where anytime there was empty space in my
head, the song would play.
Really?
What was it?
The theme from Halloween?
No.
What was it?
Total, Can't You See?
Oh my God.
Wait, Can't You See remix or Can't You See?
Remix.
Give me all the chicken.
I mean, not as much like the rhyme, but just to.
I'm humiliated.
I don't know this song.
Oh, Can't You See, Puff Daddy did the coolest dance and he just drops off and swings his
arms.
All right.
Well, I was, I was thinking maybe because it was just Halloween, we'd play a lot of
spooky music, but maybe we should just start with this.
Yeah.
Rashida, you want to, are we going to do the remix or what?
Remix.
Definitely.
Okay, you want to introduce it?
Yes.
This is Total with the remix of Can't You See featuring Notorious B.I.G.
Give me all the chicken head from Pasadena to Medina, bet big get in between your dents.
Take the prognosis, doses, blends and bends like Twizzlers.
Biggest hit into hurt, what's under that skirt?
Slow down, son, be chillin'.
Who fillin' them with octane?
Got 'em gassed up, 'bout to get blasted up, son.
The last one heard the muhfuck, brother, miss him.
I seen it when he kissed him at the wake, made his body shake.
She's the high guy in 850, I smoke ten, rap terror, full chrome and terrors.
She's fly by the mirrors, the fifth is conspicuous, bad boy slipped in '95, ridiculous.
My rap rhymes is like landmines, one step, ka-boom, black suits fill the room.
To whom it may concern, Junior Mafia's the clique.
I'm stuck, but have my honey's total budget.
In the middle of the day now, baby, I seem to think of only you.
Never thinkin' for a moment, baby, that you be thinkin' of me too.
So I can wait for the day that we can be together.
I can't let you walk away.
Can't you see you and me were meant to be, oh baby.
And there's nothing left to say.
Can't you see what you do to me?
I love what's meant to be.
Do you want it from me?
Oh baby, can't you see what you do to me?
I love what's meant to be.
Do you want it from me?
Every time I see you, I get this feeling.
Oh yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Telling me you're the one.
Oh, what a feeling.
Hey.
Let's go.
I can't wait for the day that we can be together.
I can't let you walk away.
Can't you see you and me were meant to be, oh baby.
And there's nothing left for me to say.
Can't you see what you do to me?
I love what's meant to be.
Do you want it from me?
Oh baby, can't you see what you do to me?
I love what's meant to be.
Do you want it from me?
Take me away, so far away.
What would you do to me?
Oh, I want to be alone together.
Somewhere just you and me.
Oh, oh.
Oh baby, can't you see what you do to me?
I love what's meant to be.
Do you want it from me?
Oh baby, can't you see what you do to me?
I love what's meant to be.
Do you want it from me?
Oh baby, can't you see what you do to me?
I love what's meant to be.
Do you want it from me?
Oh baby, can't you see what you do to me?
I love what's meant to be.
Do you want it from me?
Oh baby, can't you see what you do to me?
I love what's meant to be.
Do you want it from me?
Oh baby, can't you see what you do to me?
Oh baby.
[instrumental]
This town is coming like a ghost town.
All the clubs have been closed down.
This town is coming like a ghost town.
Bands won't play no more.
Too much fighting on the dance floor.
[instrumental]
Do you remember the condom days before the ghost town?
The sagging dance and the music playing in Alibu town.
[instrumental]
This town is coming like a ghost town.
Why mostly you fight against yourselves?
This town is coming like a ghost town.
No barmen leaving the years on their shelves.
This town is coming like a ghost town.
No job to be found in this country.
Can't no one earn more if you don't get your money.
[instrumental]
[instrumental]
That was the specials with Ghost Town.
I feel like because it was just Halloween,
it's worth doing a kind of spooky song.
I mean, but to be fair, that song is actually about
racial tension in the 1980s UK, so.
That's pretty spooky.
Yeah.
Kind of frightening.
Yeah, frightening is probably more the right word,
but I mean it has an eerie feel.
I think maybe now that Halloween's over and we're in November,
maybe today's show is not about spooky, it's about eerie.
Because November is kind of, it's like,
people say that October is the spookiest month,
but it's not like the rest of fall is chill.
Right.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
October is kind of scary in itself.
You know, people are starting to cover up more.
You see fewer faces.
People just walking around like, you know.
Like New York, February is the scariest month.
Oh yeah, it's frightening.
Because people are just straight up like.
Everyone looks like a criminal.
Looking like they're going to rob somebody.
Yes, everyone's like a criminal.
Can't see anybody's eyes.
Yeah, and so it's like, it is kind of scary.
Do you celebrate Halloween?
Do you like do Halloween things?
I don't, it's not really my favorite thing.
Not so much as I get older.
I mean, every once in a while, I'll go to,
maybe I'll stop by a party or something.
But also because I live in New York,
nobody comes trick or treating where I live.
Oh man, first of all, that sounded,
that sounded like a threat.
Don't come trick or treating.
Don't start now.
Nobody comes trick or treating.
Well, no, well, first of all,
in New York, people do trick or treat sometimes.
I mean, I grew up in the suburbs in Jersey,
but I do have a memory of going trick or treating
with a friend in the city when I was little.
And we kept going into like bodegas
and asking the guy for candy.
Yeah.
He was like, no.
And sometimes you go in,
my dad has like a lot of sad stories
in his apartment building in the Bronx
and not being, his parents wouldn't let him
leave the building.
So just canvassing the build,
one building for all of Halloween.
Really?
Yeah.
But my, my building,
you need a key for the elevator.
So yeah.
Happy Halloween.
Good luck.
Good luck out there.
I think you start celebrating it less
because you're an adult
and you start realizing how genuinely frightening life is.
Right.
So it was just like, oh yeah,
I don't need a day where we just pretend to be scared.
It was like, oh yeah,
it's like frightening out there.
Right.
It's all around.
It's a cold world.
Totally.
But now I feel like Halloween is really just about
being behind a mask so you can do kind of like dumb crap.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
I feel like I go to parties and people are acting crazy
because they don't,
they feel not responsible for their behavior that night.
Dancing and expressing feelings about.
Wait, I was not, no, that sounds real tame.
That's the bold thing I would do behind a mask.
I was just like, all right, man,
let's go express all of my feelings.
Take somebody into a corner and just let them know it's on your mind.
I never really liked you.
I tried.
I tried really, really hard.
Right.
Like I really tried.
I'm there, you're in front of me.
I'm like, like this person.
He was like nice, nice guy.
I said, I said, I got, okay.
I just got an idea.
Elevator pitch.
We're out here in Hollywood.
A movie starring Drodd Carmichael.
That's like the purge, but for emotions.
Oh my God.
Write that down.
I almost want you to take that off just so no one can.
Where does this air?
I got a few days to write a pitch.
You got a few days to write it.
The 24 hours once a year.
You're allowed to keep it real.
Oh, that's perfect.
That's great.
That's perfect.
I love that.
I could really see you in that.
That's a great vehicle for you.
Just going to just being very,
cause it's always this weird gray area.
I think most people.
Maybe you need to reclaim Halloween as your holiday where you just like,
tell people how you feel about things.
Yeah.
I'll tell them emotions that frighten me.
Emotional Halloween.
Emotional Halloween.
What's your next HBO standup special?
Emotional Halloween.
Oh, that's exactly what it is.
I just spent six hours with my father.
And then when I was 11, it was like, all right, we get it.
I made a lot of mistakes.
All right, let's get back into some more November music.
It's not spooky.
It's eerie.
Here's Laurie Anderson with Oh Superman.
Hi, I'm not home right now.
But if you want to leave a message,
just start talking at the sound of the tone.
Hello?
This is your mother.
Are you there?
Are you coming home?
Hello?
Is anybody home?
Well, you don't know me.
But I know you.
And I've got a message.
To give to you.
Here come the planes.
So you better get ready.
Ready to go.
You can come as you are.
Pay as you go.
Pay as you go.
And I said, "Okay, who is this really?"
And the voice said,
"This is the hand.
The hand that takes.
This is the hand.
The hand that takes.
This is the hand.
The hand that takes.
Here come the planes.
They're American planes.
Made in America.
Smoking or non-smoking.
Ha, ha, ha."
You're listening to
Time Crisis
on Beats 1.
That was Laurie Anderson with "Oh, Superman."
So, Jara, you said that reminded you
of something that you've found out
by experimenting with Prince's music.
Yes, as every young man should in his adolescence.
You should all experiment with Prince's music.
And Darlin' Nicky, it hit that, "Ha, ha, ha."
And then he goes into this sound that sounds weird,
but if you reverse it, he's singing,
"Hello, how are you? I'm fine,
because I know the Lord is coming soon,"
which is interesting, given the lyrics.
Wow, Prince is a complex man.
Yeah.
To me, sex and religion aren't opposites.
No, sex is religion.
I was waiting for it.
It is. I'm sorry.
You guys are telling me I was coming to church.
Sex is religion.
You know, that's funny,
because that leads me nicely into the next song,
and I was thinking about kind of November-ish songs.
I was thinking about songs from the early '90s.
My parents didn't get cable until the late '90s.
So unfortunately, I missed out on a lot of good MTV.
When I got into MTV, it was 1998.
It was a very dark time. I'm not going to name names.
So in the early '90s, that was a brutal time for MTV.
But in the early '90s, I'd occasionally be at friends' house,
and when I'd see a video once, it would stick with me,
because I didn't see music videos that much.
I'd listen to the song, and it's such a weird song.
It's so powerful and emotional,
and it really reminds me of autumn on the East Coast,
and it's Meat Loaf.
I Would Do Anything for Love.
You guys remember this song?
Yeah.
I remember the song. I don't remember the video.
I do.
It was like Beauty and the Beast.
Yes.
Oh, I do remember the video.
Candleabras and pianos.
You know who else did a video like that?
It was Celine Dion.
She did the song, um...
♪ Can you touch me like this? ♪
Isn't that Meat Loaf?
No.
Didn't he write that?
♪ Can you touch me like this? ♪
Oh, it's all coming back to me.
♪ Can you touch me like this? ♪
I think it might be the same songwriter.
Really?
Yeah, it sounds like Celine Dion.
And it's the same kind of video it looks like.
Yeah, kind of like rock opera.
It's like big gothic opera, whatever.
So here's the real November song, Meat Loaf,
with I'd Do Anything for Love, but I Won't Do That.
♪
♪ And I would do anything for love ♪
♪ I'd run right into hell and back ♪
♪ I would do anything for love ♪
♪ I'd never lie to you and that's a fact ♪
♪ But I'll never forget the way you feel right now ♪
♪ Oh no, no way ♪
♪ And I would do anything for love ♪
♪ But I won't do that ♪
♪ No, I won't do that ♪
♪
♪ And some days it don't come easy ♪
♪ And some days it don't come hard ♪
♪ Some days it don't come at all ♪
♪ And these are the days that never end ♪
♪ And some nights you're breathing fire ♪
♪ And some nights you're caught in ice ♪
♪ Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen ♪
♪ Before or will again ♪
♪ And maybe I'm crazy ♪
♪ Oh, it's crazy and it's true ♪
♪ I know you can save me ♪
♪ No one else can save me now but you ♪
♪ As long as the planets are turning ♪
♪ As long as the stars are burning ♪
♪ As long as your dreams are coming true ♪
♪ You better believe it ♪
♪ That I would do anything for love ♪
♪ Oh, I would do anything for love ♪
♪ Oh, I would do anything for love ♪
♪ But I won't do that ♪
♪ No, I won't do that ♪
♪ I would do anything for love ♪
♪ Anything you've been dreaming of ♪
♪ But I just won't do that ♪
♪ I would do anything for love ♪
♪ Anything you've been dreaming of ♪
♪ But I just won't do that ♪
♪ And some days I pray for silence ♪
♪ And some days I pray for soul ♪
♪ Some days I just pray to the God of ♪
♪ Sax and drums and rock and roll ♪
♪ And maybe I'm lonely ♪
♪ It's all I'm qualified to be ♪
♪ There's just one and only ♪
♪ One and only promise I can keep ♪
♪ As long as the wheels are turning ♪
♪ As long as the fires are burning ♪
♪ As long as your dreams are coming true ♪
♪ You better believe it ♪
♪ That I would do anything for love ♪
♪ And you know it's true and that's a fact ♪
♪ I would do anything for love ♪
♪ And it'll never be no turning back ♪
♪ But I'll never do it better ♪
♪ Than I do it with you ♪
♪ So love, so love ♪
♪ I would do anything for love ♪
♪ Oh, I would do anything for love ♪
♪ I would do anything for love ♪
♪ But I won't do that ♪
♪ No, no, no, I won't do that ♪
♪ Will you raise me up, will you help me down ♪
♪ Will you get me right out of this godforsaken town ♪
♪ Will you make it all a little less cold ♪
♪ I can do that ♪
♪ Oh, no, no, I can do that ♪
♪ Give it to everything I got ♪
♪ Will you hold me down with holy water ♪
♪ If I get too hot ♪
♪ Will you take me places I've never known ♪
♪ Now I can do that ♪
♪ Oh, no, I can do that ♪
♪ All the territory I've been around ♪
♪ It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down ♪
♪ Sooner or later you'll be scrolling around ♪
♪ I won't do that ♪
♪ No, I won't do that ♪
♪ Anything for love ♪
♪ But I won't do that ♪
That was "Me Love" with an incredible autumnal song.
"I Would Do Anything for Love, But I Won't Do That."
Do you guys know what he's talking about?
'Cause I remember being a kid,
and there was some discussion in the schoolyard.
Meatloaf would do anything for love, but he won't do that.
He never clearly says what that is.
Like a certain sexual position.
I mean, that's low-hanging fruit.
Yeah. Right?
Which is also a certain sexual position.
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
There you go.
All right, well, okay, so I think--
This is my interpretation. This is my exegesis.
Are you gonna go to Rome, Rashida?
Yes, please!
It's like, dude, you're going to Rome?
Low-hanging fruit special.
Well, open for Ezra.
We've never had a comedian on the road.
You should do that.
I wanna do it. I wanna do it.
Emotional Halloween tour.
Yes.
October 2016.
Yes.
That would be dope, actually.
He's saying, "I would do anything for love.
"I'd never lie to you, and that's a fact.
"But I'll never forget the way you feel right now.
"Oh, no, no way.
"And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.
"I would do anything for love, anything you've been dreaming of,
"but I just won't do that."
His response to his girlfriend asked him to go apple picking.
That's so autumnal.
He was like, "I gotta write."
And then he just wrote, just, "I'm not doing it.
"I'm not doing it." That would be my response.
That's why I feel like the song is so autumnal,
because it's about apple picking.
I'll do anything for love.
Mostly, and it's settled.
What is that? I wanna know what that is now.
I also kinda remember in the early '90s,
if you remember, that was the peak or the beginning
of real safe sex education.
So there was a lot of talk--
I mean, not that safe sex has gone out of style,
but I'm just saying back then,
that was the height of the AIDS epidemic.
Everybody's talking about safe sex.
Everybody's like, "All right, we gotta teach kids about condoms
"really early."
So I kinda remember having this slight feeling,
because I was getting-- at 7 years old or whatever,
I was already hearing so much about using--
"I gotta use condoms."
Really?
Yeah, I wasn't having sex then,
but everybody told me I had to use condoms.
In fact, I have a memory of being a kid
over at some--like, a fellow liberal family's household,
and I heard a kid, my fellow kid who was 7,
say to his mom in the kitchen--
and my head was about to explode--
say, "Hey, Mom, I'm gonna have sex later."
And I remember being like, "Oh, my God."
And I remember she looked at him and said,
"Well, I hope it's safe sex."
Wow.
This is like some classic, like, liberal suburb stuff.
But anyway, you're always talking about safe sex,
so I always kind of assumed that I would do anything for love,
but I won't do that.
I won't go Jimmy-less.
'Cause he's talking-- yeah, I wouldn't go Jimmy-less.
That's the real '90s parlance.
Jimmy Hat.
Love--I don't get enough of it.
Yeah, I was confused about that.
Is a Jimmy a penis or a condom?
I don't know.
I mean, I think Jimmy's probably a penis,
but it probably is short for Jimmy Hat, too, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Or Jimmy Cap.
Oh, you know what?
This is a song that also reminds me of autumn.
This reminds me of autumn when I was in high school.
When would I--I don't know, maybe a freshman or something.
This song is very autumnal to me,
and I feel like the video's very autumnal, too.
I'm not gonna tell you guys what it is.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Is this not autumnal?
♪ What will I do with my own biz, baby? ♪
♪ Don't worry, you know that you got me ♪
♪ If you're worried 'bout where I've been or who I'm for ♪
♪ What will I do with my own biz, baby? ♪
♪ Don't worry, you know that you got me ♪
♪ Somebody told me that this planet was small ♪
♪ We used to live in the same building on the same floor ♪
♪ And never met before until I'm overseas on tour ♪
♪ And peep this Ethiopian queen from Philly taking classes abroad ♪
♪ She's studying film in photo flash focus record ♪
♪ Says she's working on a flick and cut my click through the score ♪
♪ She says she loved my show in Paris at a Lisi Momar ♪
♪ And that I stepped off the stage and took a piece of her heart ♪
♪ We knew from the start that things fall apart ♪
♪ Intent to shatter, she like that shit don't matter ♪
♪ When I get home, get out of through that a phone ♪
♪ Whatever, let's lay, let's get together ♪
♪ Shit, you think not? ♪
♪ Think the thought went home and forgot? ♪
♪ Time passed, we back in Philly, now she up in my spot ♪
♪ Telling me the things I'm telling her is making her hot ♪
♪ Started building with her constantly round the clock ♪
♪ Now she in my world like hip hop and keep telling me, telling me ♪
♪ If you were worried 'bout where I've been or who I saw ♪
♪ What club I went to with my homies? ♪
♪ Baby, don't worry, you know that you got me ♪
♪ If you were worried 'bout where I've been or who I saw ♪
♪ What club I went to with my homies? ♪
♪ Baby, don't worry, you know that you got me ♪
♪ Yo, I'm the type that's always catching a flight ♪
♪ And sometimes I got to be out at the height of the night ♪
♪ And that's when she flip and get on some more ♪
♪ Another lonely night, seem like I'm on the side ♪
♪ You want me loving your mind ♪
♪ I know you gotta get that paper, daddy keeps it tight ♪
♪ But yo, I need some sort of love in my life ♪
♪ You dig me? ♪
♪ While politicking with my sister from New York City ♪
♪ She says she know this ball player ♪
♪ And he think I'm pretty ♪
♪ It's like I'm playing, boo ♪
♪ No, it's just with you, I'm staying, boo ♪
♪ And when cats be robbing games ♪
♪ I don't hear what they saying, boo ♪
♪ When you out there in the world, I'm still your girl ♪
♪ With all my glasses, I don't have the time for life's thrill ♪
♪ So when you sweating on stage, think of me when you rhyme ♪
♪ And don't be listening to your homies, they can see you grind ♪
♪ Yeah, so what you saying, I can trust you ♪
♪ If you crazy, you my king for real ♪
♪ But sometimes relationships get ill, no doubt ♪
♪ No doubt, no doubt ♪
♪ If you were worried 'bout where I've been or who I saw ♪
♪ What club I went to with my homies, baby ♪
♪ Don't worry, you know that you got me ♪
♪ If you were worried 'bout where I've been or who I saw ♪
♪ What club I went to with my homies, baby ♪
♪ Don't worry, you know that you got me ♪
♪ That snake could be that chick and that rat ♪
♪ Could be that cool cat ♪
♪ That's Whisper and she trying to play you for the full black ♪
♪ If something's on your chest, then let her know ♪
♪ See, I'm not your every five minutes all on the phone ♪
♪ And on the topic of trust, it's just a matter of fact ♪
♪ That people bite back and fracture what's intact ♪
♪ And they'll forever be ♪
♪ I ain't on some Obama celebrity ♪
♪ I deal with the real, so if it's artificial, let it be ♪
♪ I seen people caught in love like whirlwinds ♪
♪ Listening to these swans and listening to girlfriends ♪
♪ That's exactly the point where they whole world ends ♪
♪ Lies come in, that's where the drama begins ♪
♪ If you were worried 'bout where I've been or who I saw ♪
♪ What club I went to with my homies ♪
♪ Baby, don't worry, you know that you got me ♪
♪ If you were worried 'bout where I've been or who I saw ♪
♪ What club I went to with my homies ♪
♪ Baby, don't worry, you know that you got me ♪
♪ If you were worried 'bout where I've been or who I saw ♪
♪ What club I went to with my homies ♪
♪ Baby, don't worry, you know that you got me ♪
♪ If you were worried 'bout where I've been or who I saw ♪
♪ What club I went to with my homies ♪
♪ Baby, don't worry, you know that you got me ♪
♪ If you were worried 'bout where I've been or who I saw ♪
- Beautiful song. - Beautiful.
- Yeah. - You like that outro?
- It's great. I can just picture Questlove, like,
not even breaking a sweat, just, like, barely moving,
just making all that happen.
- Oh, yeah, 'cause he's got amazing form.
- No, he's also-- - Very straight back.
- I like to imagine it looked like the intro to "Whiplash."
- Just pouring sweat, just blood.
- Blood, his hands bleeding. He's just not--
and, like, Erykah Badu's just really chill.
- He's, like, the opposite of that.
- Okay.
Um, how about some more music with drums?
This song reminds me of-- - Autumn.
- You remember this song? - That only leaves 98% of songs.
[upbeat music]
♪ A daddy cat, a pig ♪
♪ A heir, a friend ♪
♪ A mommy, all in all ♪
♪ A family, a cash ♪
♪ A few new clothes ♪
♪ A stay at the corner ♪
♪ She is a living in the underwoods ♪
♪ ♪
- Hey, you!
♪ ♪
♪ You're losing, you're losing ♪
♪ You're losing, you're losing your vitamin C ♪
♪ ♪
Hey, you!
♪ ♪
♪ You're losing, you're losing ♪
♪ You're losing, you're losing your vitamin C ♪
♪ Your vitamin C ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Who's the Christmas in your body? ♪
♪ Oh, she is stepping on a quicksand ♪
♪ A few new clothes ♪
♪ A stay at the corner ♪
♪ She is a living in the underwoods ♪
♪ ♪
Hey, you!
♪ ♪
♪ You're losing, you're losing ♪
♪ You're losing, you're losing your vitamin C ♪
♪ ♪
Hey, you!
♪ ♪
♪ You're losing, you're losing ♪
♪ You're losing, you're losing your vitamin C ♪
♪ Your vitamin C ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Hey, you!
♪ ♪
♪ You're losing, you're losing ♪
♪ You're losing, you're losing your vitamin C ♪
♪ ♪
Hey, you!
♪ ♪
That was "Can" with Vitamin C.
You guys like that song?
Really like it.
Best drum since "Fillin' in the Air."
Yeah.
Germans can play drums very well.
You heard it here first, guys.
It's amazing that it's sausage and drums, you guys.
They know what they're doing.
Time Crisis with Ezra Kaden.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
One.
So as I said, we've known each other--
we've all known each other for a while,
but recently we were all at a mutual friend's birthday,
and it was a karaoke event.
And everybody sang.
I was really happy about that, 'cause you know,
sometimes you go-- if you're gonna go to karaoke,
you have to sing.
I agree.
You go to be a wallflower?
Yeah, sometimes I don't feel like singing,
but I stay home.
[laughter]
And that's right. That's the right thing to do.
Now I feel bad for the wallflowers.
[laughter]
Jacob Dylan.
But I don't know if this is gonna work that well,
but I thought, you know, like, a radio show
could be a good opportunity to do a little bit of karaoke.
We've never done karaoke on the show.
Every once in a while, I sing.
A lot of times I sing along to "Weekend in the Hills,"
but I don't know.
I remember, Jirard, you sang this song.
We got, like, a really corny...
karaoke instrumental.
How well do you know the lyrics?
Oh, this is--oh, okay, this is the--
okay, yeah, I know it.
♪ Everybody's got a thing ♪
♪ But some don't know how to handle it ♪
Nice.
♪ Always reaching out in vain ♪
♪ I don't know much better than having ♪
♪ Don't you--oh, no! ♪
Oh, no.
All right, hold on, we're gonna get to the chorus.
We gotta get one chorus.
♪ They say your style of life's a drag ♪
♪ And that you must go and play ♪
All right, take it, Jirard.
♪ Don't you worry 'bout a thing ♪
♪ Don't you worry 'bout a thing, my, my ♪
♪ 'Cause I'll be standing on the side ♪
♪ When you check it out ♪
Yeah, that was nice.
I think--
That was good.
Listen, I--first of all, yeah, I need to--
next time we do karaoke, I'm gonna take a week.
Listen, you said that last time we did karaoke--
But we didn't plan it.
We didn't plan--we have to--
We've had months, though.
So I need just a week.
There's gonna be no whine.
Okay.
I'm gonna protect my voice.
I'm only gonna speak, like, tapping into, like, phones,
a lot of T, a lot of throat coat, a lot of yogi--
the word "hibiscus" is gonna be said a lot.
By the way, without any planning, you sounded great,
I just have to say.
I just want to say that both of you are primarily known
for being actors/writers in films and programs.
You both have great voices.
Rashida, you've done some singing recently
with your nephew, Sonny.
Yes, I did.
Should we play a little bit of that?
Yeah, sure.
All right, let's play.
So, Rashida, obviously you come from a musical family.
Yeah.
Your dad is a musician, but--
It's Quincy Jones.
You know that, right?
What?
That's my dad.
I knew that he was a musician.
[laughter]
I thought it was Tom Jones.
So close.
I knew it was a musician.
His last name was Jones.
Yes, of course.
Quincy Jones.
She just said a synonym for music.
Right.
Of course, of course.
Your father's a legendary Quincy Jones.
But obviously, because you're more known for films
and programs, people forget that you actually have
your own history with music.
I don't think anybody knows this, that you sang
backup on the first Maroon 5 album.
What?
Was that Songs About Jane?
People know--
Yes.
People do know this?
People know that.
I didn't know that.
Okay, I guarantee people right now are going to be
tweeting, "I did not know that."
If I weren't on the show, I would be calling in right now.
Wait, Gerard, did you know that?
I didn't know that.
Okay, Gerard didn't know it.
I didn't know that.
That's dope.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
I sang backup for them when they were called
Kara's Flowers, before they were Maroon 5.
Really?
And on their demo, and on their first album.
Wait, so was First Album Songs About Jane?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Which songs did you sing on?
I don't know.
I can't remember.
Sunday Morning and--
Did you do the "I Like That" on Sunday Morning?
Is that your voice?
I'm, like, way down in the mix.
Because there's a woman who says, like, literally,
within the first 30 seconds of the song, just says,
"I like that," and I always wondered who she was.
No, that's not me.
"Secret," I sang on a song called "Secret."
I sang on, I sang on, like, three or four songs.
Did you sing on, um...
♪ This love has taken its toll on me ♪
♪ She said goodbye ♪
No?
No, I didn't.
Well, this is Maroon 5's "Secret."
It's, like, three minutes in.
Okay, let's get back.
♪ I know I don't love you ♪
That's me.
Oh, you sound good.
♪ But I want you so bad ♪
Oh, that's dope.
♪ Everyone has a secret ♪
♪ Oh, can they keep it? ♪
♪ Oh, no, they can't ♪
♪ Oh, da-da-da-da-da ♪
He definitely turned me down in the mix.
[laughter]
Okay, I think you sounded great.
You got buried in the mix.
I got buried in the mix.
This opens up all sorts of questions.
We got traveling Lil' Berries here.
Got buried in the mix.
So what's Adam Levine like?
He's cool. I've known him for a long time.
You knew him just from growing up in L.A.?
A little bit, yeah.
He's a tiny bit younger than me.
Who's Jane?
The song's about Jane. Who's Jane?
You know, I actually know who Jane is.
Oh, is it Jane Krakowski?
No!
But who is it?
Jane is Jane Herman, I think,
who was a girl who went to school in L.A.,
who's Ron Herman's daughter,
who owned Fred Siegel,
which is kind of like a big store in L.A.
where all those private school kids used to go.
And I think Adam was in love with her.
I don't know what the deal was.
Maybe they dated.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
So that was some of your earliest recorded musical work.
Let's listen to your newest.
The song is called...
It's called "Flip and Rewind."
"Flip and Rewind."
So you did this with your nephew.
My nephew, who is my oldest sister's son.
Because when people...
Yeah, so how old is your nephew?
It's confusing.
He's like 35.
So he's basically the same age as you.
Yeah, we were like cousins growing up.
He calls you Auntie.
He calls me Auntie Rashi, yeah.
But you're four years older than him.
Yeah, but he's a very talented musician.
He scored the movie that I co-wrote,
"Celeste and Jesse Forever,"
and he's really talented.
Let's listen to it.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Running, running ♪
♪ Out of time, out of time ♪
♪ Stopped trying ♪
♪ 'Cause we're caught up past feeling fine ♪
♪ Going, gone ♪
♪ Getting to the bottom line ♪
♪ Wrong side ♪
♪ Ooh, I wanna flip and rewind ♪
♪ I wanna rewind ♪
♪ Rewind ♪
♪ You know that I want it too ♪
♪ And I'm sure you'd love to ♪
♪ There's a place we can get to ♪
♪ Where you're like more than you ♪
♪ You know that I want it too ♪
♪ And I'm sure you'd love to ♪
♪ There's a place we can get to ♪
♪ Where you're like more than you ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Stayin', stayin' ♪
♪ Way past closing time ♪
♪ Get the feeling that we're going for another ride ♪
♪ Same, same ♪
♪ Never make it down the line ♪
♪ Wrong side ♪
♪ Ooh, I wanna flip and rewind ♪
♪ I wanna rewind ♪
♪ Rewind ♪
♪ You know that I want it too ♪
♪ And I'm sure you'd love to ♪
♪ There's a place we can get to ♪
♪ Where you're like more than you ♪
♪ You know that I want it too ♪
♪ And I'm sure you'd love to ♪
♪ There's a place we can get to ♪
♪ Where you're like more than you ♪
♪ Where you're like more than you ♪
♪ ♪
♪ It's a quarter past, been fine ♪
♪ It's a quarter past, been fine ♪
♪ Fumbling with the keys to my heart ♪
♪ Hand on the wheel ♪
♪ Just one start ♪
♪ Finally get this show on the road ♪
♪ Last chance, shot in the dark ♪
♪ And you know that I want it too ♪
♪ And I'm sure you'd love to ♪
♪ There's a place we can get to ♪
♪ Where you're like more than you ♪
♪ You know that I want it too ♪
♪ And I'm sure you'd love to ♪
♪ There's a place we can get to ♪
♪ Where you're like more than you ♪
♪ More than you ♪
♪ You know that I want it too ♪
♪ I'm sure that you'd love to ♪
♪ ♪
- All right, that was "Boss Selection" featuring Rashida.
Very lovely singing, Rashida.
- Thanks, Ezra. - Very nice.
- Thanks. - That was really nice.
- Thank you.
- A nephew-- [laughs]
A nephew-auntie combination.
- Probably hasn't happened that often.
- Yeah, I mean, let's think about that.
There's def--we've definitely had the siblings.
That's classic.
You got the Judds.
That's mom and daughter, right?
- Mom and daughter.
I know a nephew-uncle 3T
on "Babyface" written "Y"
that Michael Jackson sang on.
See those kids?
- I went to high school with 3T.
- Really?
- I was homecoming queen with one of the 3Ts.
- Really? - Yes.
- Really? That's amazing.
- Terrell. - Oh.
- Yeah. - That's--
- That might be one of the only nephew-uncle--
I mean, wait, was the-- - There's gotta be jazz.
I feel like I have a hard time.
- There's parents and children--
Wait, was this--was this Staples' singer?
Is it dad and daughters?
- Pop Staples. - Pop--
- Davis and-- - Wait, was he the dad?
I mean, I assumed he was the dad 'cause he was pop.
- Yeah. - I don't know.
- That's what I figured.
- Let's ponder it. - Unfortunately,
there's no way for us to find out.
- We'll never know. We will never know.
- I think we have a new trend in music, though,
is the nephew-auntie combination.
- Yeah. I'm gonna call my aunt.
[laughter]
- Do you have any musical aunts?
- She rotted as Aunt Sherry.
[laughter]
- I don't have any musical aunts.
I mean, you know, I have black aunts in the South,
so technically, yeah, I do have musical aunts,
but, like, sure, but not professionally.
- You gotta start the trend.
- It would be crazy if, like, I was way more successful
with my aunt--like, just working with my aunt,
and it was like, that was the whole time.
Like, that was my untapped potential.
I just needed to call my aunt Carla
and just hit the studio this whole time.
- It could happen. - Oh, wow. Who knew?
- Let's get back into some more autumnal music.
This one could be an October song,
could be a November song.
This is an R&B song from the '80s,
but there's always something about this song
that's a bit creepy, 'cause you picture it's cold rain,
and you picture an obsessed man.
- Wow.
- I think you guys know what I'm talking about.
It's the rain. - Yep.
- Ooh, it starts with a sound effect.
I forgot that. - Yeah.
- ♪ In the rain ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I saw you ♪
♪ And him and him in the rain ♪
♪ You were holding hands ♪
♪ And I'll never be the same ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Tossing and turning ♪
♪ Another sleepless night ♪
♪ The rain crashes against my window pane ♪
♪ Jumped into my car, didn't drive too far ♪
♪ That moment I knew I would never be the same ♪
♪ I saw you and him and him in the rain ♪
♪ You were holding hands ♪
♪ And I'll never be the same ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I saw you and him and him in the rain ♪
♪ You were holding hands ♪
♪ And I'll never be the same ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Now here you are begging to me ♪
♪ To give our love another try ♪
♪ Girl, I love you and I always will ♪
♪ But darling, right now I've got to say goodbye ♪
♪ 'Cause I saw you and him walking in the rain ♪
♪ You were holding hands ♪
♪ And I'll never be the same ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I saw you and him walking in the rain ♪
♪ You were holding hands ♪
♪ And I'll never be the same ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I saw you and him walking in the rain ♪
♪ You were holding hands ♪
♪ And I'll never be the same ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I saw you and him walking in the rain ♪
♪ You were holding hands ♪
♪ And I'll never be the same ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I saw you and him walking in the rain ♪
♪ You were holding hands ♪
♪ And I'll never be the same ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I said, I chill, that's right ♪
♪ Chill, then I went to the bank ♪
♪ Took out every dime ♪
♪ And then I went and canceled all those credit cards ♪
♪ All your charge counts, yeah ♪
♪ I stuck you up for every piece of jewelry I ever bought you ♪
♪ Yeah, that's right, everything ♪
♪ Everything ♪
♪ You fly with me ♪
♪ Now, don't go looking in that closet ♪
♪ You got nothing in it, everything you came here with ♪
♪ Is packed up and waiting for you in the guest room ♪
♪ That's right, what was you thinking about, huh? ♪
♪ What are you trying to prove, huh? ♪
♪ You's with the juice ♪
♪ You know, I gave you silk suits, Gucci handbags, blue diamonds ♪
♪ I gave you things you couldn't even pronounce ♪
♪ Now I can't give you nothing but advice ♪
♪ 'Cause you still young ♪
♪ That's right, you still young ♪
♪ I hope you learn a valuable lesson from all this ♪
♪ You know ♪
♪ You're gonna find somebody like me one of these days ♪
♪ Until then, you know what you gotta do? ♪
♪ You gotta get on out of here with that ala-cat coat ♪
♪ Wearing hush puppy shoe, wearing crump cake I saw you with ♪
♪ 'Cause you dismissed ♪
♪ That's right, silly rabbit tricks I made for kids ♪
♪ Did you know that? ♪
♪ You without me like cornflake without the milk ♪
♪ It's my world, you're just a squirrel trying to get a nut ♪
♪ Now get on out of here ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Squatting ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Squatting ♪
♪ Squatting ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I'm just an average man with an average life ♪
♪ From nine to five, hell, I pay the price ♪
♪ All I want is to be left alone in my average home ♪
♪ But why do I always feel like I'm in the twilight zone? ♪
♪ And I always feel like somebody's watching me ♪
♪ And I love the privacy, oh ♪
♪ I always feel like somebody's watching me ♪
♪ Tell me, is it just a dream? ♪
♪ I come home at night ♪
♪ I open the door real tight ♪
♪ People call me on the phone, I'm trying to avoid ♪
♪ But when people on TV see me, oh, I'm always paranoid ♪
♪ When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid to wash my hair ♪
♪ 'Cause I might open my eyes and find someone standing there ♪
♪ People say I'm crazy, just a little touch ♪
♪ But midrash always reminds me of a psychic demon, that's why ♪
♪ I always feel like somebody's watching me ♪
♪ And I have no privacy, oh ♪
♪ I always feel like somebody's watching me ♪
♪ Who's playing tricks on me ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I don't know anymore, are the neighbors watching me? ♪
♪ Well, is the mail anymore? Oh, what a mess ♪
♪ I wonder who's watching me now? ♪
♪ Who? The IRS? ♪
♪ I always feel like somebody's watching me ♪
♪ And I have no privacy, oh ♪
♪ I always feel like somebody's watching me ♪
♪ Tell me, is it just a dream? ♪
♪ I always feel like somebody's watching me ♪
♪ And I have no privacy, oh ♪
♪ I always feel like somebody's watching me ♪
♪ Who's playing tricks on me? ♪
♪ Who's watching me? ♪
♪ I always feel like somebody's watching me ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Oh, I always feel like somebody's watching me ♪
♪ Tell me, who can it be? ♪
♪ Who's watching me? ♪
♪ I always feel like somebody's watching me ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Oh, I always feel like somebody's watching me ♪
♪ Who's playing tricks on me? ♪
So that was Rockwell with "Somebody's Watching Me."
That was Rashida's choice.
Two of the creepiest '80s R&B crossover hits.
Michael Jackson sings backup on that song.
That's because he was Berry Gordy's nephew.
Nephew!
Oh!
You guys, uncles.
Uncles in music, you guys.
Nephew is my new favorite genre.
[laughter]
Drag one, Rockwell.
There's nephew music, and there's also uncle music.
Don't forget Uncle Cracker from back in the day.
Don't ever forget.
He was Kid Rock's DJ.
Dare forget.
All right, guys, so normally on Time Crisis,
we like to keep up with what's going on in the world.
So here's a little segment that we're doing live
from Los Angeles called "New York News."
This is "New York News."
You've been new Cronkite.
Okay, so the first bit of New York News we have
is about a New York man who went all the way to Utah
to create his sovereign nation.
His name is Zack Landsberg,
and he's created a country called Zakhistan
on a remote piece of land in Utah.
He's created a flag, official-looking passports,
and a border patrol gate guarded by a giant robot sentry.
Wait, what?
Yeah, this is bringing up a lot of questions.
I didn't know that robotics had made it there.
He says, "The conceptual goals I wanted--
I wanted to become a real country.
I mean, that goal's not gonna happen. It's impossible.
But going through the motions, I'm trying to make that happen."
I don't know. Maybe this is--
I don't know what to make of this. Is this, like, an art project?
The worst leader in history.
Like, immediately, like, say this mission statement,
and then what follows that is,
"Oh, by the way, it's impossible. It's not gonna happen."
Can you imagine, like, the "I have a dream" speech?
I mean, it would be nice. It's never gonna happen.
It's never gonna-- it's like, "I have a dream,
and don't get me wrong, it's merely a dream."
- It's just a dream. - "Please don't--
everyone relax a little."
But I have this recurring dream where, like,
racial equality was a thing.
It's not gonna happen. Never gonna happen.
So everybody can relax.
Zack. I don't know about Zackistan, man.
- Zackistan. - You're right. You make a good point.
You gotta-- if you're gonna start a country,
you gotta mean it.
Well, also, it should be noticed that it has "Zack" as staying with a Q.
All right, because this guy, we should point out,
his name is Zack Landsberg.
- Z-A-Q. - Yes.
- Yeah. - We're just already set up for Philly.
You think it's not gonna happen?
- 'Cause of the Q? - Because of the Q.
- Yeah, with a C? Maybe. - Maybe.
- We'll see. - Maybe. Right.
- But Z-A-Q-- - No chance. No chance.
- There's no chance. - Okay.
"Babylon the Great has fallen."
I feel like every couple years,
you always read some big story about all, like,
the white supremacist militias who basically are trying
to start their own countries in various parts of the U.S.
And I feel like I've literally been terrorized by this my whole life.
- I'm so sorry. - Yeah, thank you.
- Oh, wow. - Well, no, I just mean, like,
because I was born in 1984,
I can't remember the Reagan years at all.
I can't remember the Bush years, really.
But I do remember the Clinton years.
And people always claim that when there's a Democratic president,
that's when the white supremacist militias really start getting itchy.
- Yeah. - So in the Clinton years,
there was a lot of talk about militias.
So I remember, like, right when I first started, like, hearing the news,
when I was, like, 8 or 9, a lot of talk about that.
And then, of course, since Obama's been president,
you're always seeing something about, like,
these guys who are trying to, like, build their own country
or they're gonna get in a fight with, like, the U.S. military or something.
- I would like for everyone to see the U.S. military once.
- All of them? - Yeah, all of them.
Just when starting-- - One parade.
- You know, like, if you're building a militia, right?
I think, like, if I'm building a coffee table from Ikea,
I should see what it should look like.
And if you see the U.S. military
and you don't think your militia could even kind of compete,
maybe, I don't know, take up, like, baking or something, like, more calming.
- Well, you know what? That's what they said to the American revolutionaries
who founded this country. - Yeah, true.
But that was a different time when, like-- - That was a different time.
- That was a different time when, like, everyone's guns were equal.
- You know, like, when, like-- - A time before drones.
- Yeah, we think about it as if, like, even the biggest machine gun
is just like, yeah, you're not even gonna be fighting human beings.
Like, your militia's not-- you'll never even see it.
They won't send a human being.
They'll just clear out your militia remotely.
But good luck out there.
- You're listening to...
Time Crisis on Beast1.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[bell rings]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[bell rings]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[bell rings]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- This is New York News.
- All right, let's get into some more New York news.
A lot of news coming out of Brooklyn,
which I'm ashamed to say is becoming a national joke.
[laughter]
The proud borough where people like Spike Lee,
Bernie Sanders, Notorious B.I.G.,
Barbara Streisand, the list goes on.
- That's Mount Rushmore. - Yes.
- Really? - That's the Brooklyn route.
- Mount Rushmore. - I mean, it's a proud borough.
You know, almost everybody in America has some Brooklyn heritage.
- What? - Yeah.
- In, like, an Ellis Island way? - In, like, an Ellis Island way.
One in four Americans can trace their heritage somehow through Brooklyn.
- Wow. Great statistic. - You must have some Brooklyn ancestors.
- I'm sure, yeah. I mean, I know I have, like, city ancestors, so yeah, probably.
- Brooklyn is a proud borough.
These days, when you go talk about Brooklyn to people around the country,
the first thing they think of is no longer Bernie Sanders and Notorious B.I.G.
You know what they think of? - What?
- Goofball. - [bleep]
[laughter]
- People--I'm just saying. I'm not judging,
but that's what people think about.
So some of the news coming out is that New York lands
its first certified organic craft beer.
- Oh, yay. - Which sounds like not a bad idea,
but basically our producer, Colin, is making the point
that last time we were talking about these juice crawls,
now we're talking about this beer.
And it's--again, I'm not dissing it, but it's in a way Brooklyn has come
to embody these kind of frivolous, health-conscious fads
in a way that L.A. once did.
- You have to add the word "hipster" in there if you're going to talk about it.
- I don't like using the word "hipster." - Why?
- It's derogatory towards myself.
[laughter]
- I don't subscribe to self-hate.
- And I'm not a self-hater.
I mean, hipster is anybody but you.
- I mean, I'm a hipster. We're hipsters, right?
- Are you guys hipsters? - I guess.
- Here's the thing. I don't--like, certain things, I didn't--
I skipped certain waves. Like, records, I don't subscribe--
I don't play records. I'm like, you know, there's a better quality--
we have on beats right now. I would like to hear music
the clearest way I could--like, technology is advanced.
It's like going to the doctor and being leeched.
This is what listening to a record is like.
- That might happen in Brooklyn. - That may happen in Brooklyn.
It's like, you know, they have a better version of this now.
I would love to do another pitch. - Yeah.
- I would love to do, like, Rip Van Winkle, Brooklyn,
where there's a guy who takes a nap for 25 years in Brooklyn
and he wakes up and he has to figure out, you know,
what Brooklyn has become.
- Was he, like, a fishmonger before he went to sleep or something?
- He was a fishmonger and he woke up and now he's being told
he needs a favorite juice. - It was like--it was like
a lesser member of Junior Mafia goes to sleep in 1993.
- Lil' Cease falls asleep in 1993.
Lil' Cease wakes up. He wakes up.
- In the same spot. - Same spot.
- Exact same spot. - It's the same block in Bed-Stuy.
- Yes. He wakes up, but this time it's, like, organic,
like, vitamin B, like, B12 shots.
- Well, anyway, I'm not gonna diss people who want organic beer.
Everybody should drink organic beer.
If you're gonna drink beer, I do tequila shots
when I wanna get [bleep] up.
[laughter]
How about one last piece of New York news?
Adele is gonna appear on Saturday Night Live
for the first time since 2008.
You guys know Adele? [laughter]
- That's a crazy question.
- Adele's on the same record label as Lil' Vampire Weegan.
- That's--that's so cool. - Oh, that's dope.
- Thank you. [laughter]
- I love how you made this about you.
Wait, is she hosting or singing?
- Um, she is saying hello.
That's what it says. On New York Daily News it says,
"Adele's saying hello to Saturday Night Live
for the first time in seven years.
She will appear as the show's musical guest on November 21."
- Great. - So I got something I gotta get off my chest.
- Yeah. - Adele is not 25.
- Mm-hmm. - Really? - Okay?
And I can't stand-- - You heard that here first?
- The mainstream media is always propagating lies.
And one of them is that Adele is the same age
as whatever her last album was.
That's not how it works. Every year she turns a different age.
- What? - Just like you, just like me. - Nah.
- She's a human being, and every year she turns--
every 12 months, give or take, she turns a new age.
- Give or take. No, it's not. - But I feel like a lot of these--
- Don't give. - I'm sorry, but I think a lot of these
so-called pundits in the mainstream media,
they act as if Adele was 19 for two years.
- Yeah. - And then she was 21...
- Yes. - For three years, and now she's 25.
Well, guess what, guys? Adele's 27.
- Whoa. - Wow.
- Adele was born May 5, 1988, in Tottenham, London.
- (laughs) - That's a neighborhood in London,
in the U.K. She's 27 years old.
- I'm shocked right now. - Yeah. - I'm shocked.
- Well, listen, guys, she calls the album
"However Old She Was"... - When she made the album.
- When she first got an idea for a sick beat for the album.
- Right. - That's how old she is.
- So this is a sick beat. - From conception of sick beat.
- So if she-- - The first time she beatboxes.
The implication that Adele is 25, 12 months past,
then she's still 25, that's not right.
She's 27, and the album's called "25"
because that's how old she was when she first laid down
the first beatbox for the record.
- It has a better ring. It has a better ring, 25 than 27.
For an album.
- Although 27's a very famous musical age.
- Yeah, I don't think you want to name the album "27."
- Yeah, it's not-- - It's just a bunch of dead artists.
- Yeah, it's not great. - Forever 27. - Yeah, it's like,
"Yeah, 25." - All right, let's get back
into some more autumnal music.
This is Roland Alfonso doing a ska version of James Bond.
Mid-'60s Jamaica, I've always loved this.
(upbeat jazz music)
♪ ♪
♪ You're on the front lawn, jump up and get bucked ♪
♪ If you're feeling lucky, duck, then press your luck ♪
♪ I snatch fake gangsta MCs and make 'em faggot flambé ♪
♪ Your nine spray, my mind spray ♪
♪ Malignant mist that a leaf can't defunct ♪
♪ The result, you'll remain stuck in a car trunk ♪
♪ You couldn't come to the jungles of the East Pop ♪
♪ In that game, you won't survive, get live ♪
♪ Catch and wreck is our thing, I don't gang bang ♪
♪ Or shoot out, bang bang ♪
♪ The relentless lyrics, the only dope I've slain ♪
♪ I'm a true master, you can check my credentials ♪
♪ 'Cause I choose to use my infinite potential ♪
♪ Got a freaky, freaky, freaky, freaky flow ♪
♪ Control the mic like Fidel Castro ♪
♪ Lock you up so deep that you can scuba dive ♪
♪ My job's origin is unknown, like the tubas ♪
♪ I've accumulated honeys all across the map ♪
♪ 'Cause I'd rather bust a nut than bust a gap in your back ♪
♪ In fact, my rap snaps your saparilliac ♪
♪ I'm the mack, so I don't need to totem act ♪
♪ My attack is purely mental and its nature's not fit ♪
♪ It's meant to wake you up, out of your brainwashed state ♪
♪ Stagnate nonsense, but if you're persistent ♪
♪ You'll get your snotbox bust, your breasts up on fit ♪
♪ I flip, hose dip, none of the real n-- skip ♪
♪ You don't know enough math to count the mics that I rip ♪
♪ Keep the dirty bot in stamp, that's his verbal weapon, spit ♪
♪ Uh-oh, heads up, just what you're about to see ♪
♪ Uh-oh, heads up, just what you're about to see ♪
♪ Uh-oh, heads up, just what you're about to see ♪
♪ Real, rough, and rugged, shine like a gold nugget ♪
♪ Every time I pick up the microphone, I drug it ♪
♪ Unplug it on chumps, whip the gangster battle ♪
♪ Leave your nines at home and bring your skills to the battle ♪
♪ You're rattling on and on and ain't saying nothing ♪
♪ That's why you got snuffed when your bump heads were dirty rotten ♪
♪ Have you forgotten? I'll tap your jaw ♪
♪ I also kick like kung fu flicks by Run Run Shaw ♪
♪ Made for a bleed every time I G, 'cause I perfected ♪
♪ My drunkard style like Sam C, pseudo psychos ♪
♪ I play like Michael Jackson when I'm busting ass ♪
♪ And breaking backs in hell, the mutified aroma ♪
♪ Breathe too deep and you'll wind up coma ♪
♪ Toast the king, I'm hard like a fifth of vodka ♪
♪ And bring your clique, 'cause I'm a hard rock knocker ♪
♪ I got you out on a limb, about to push you off the plank ♪
♪ Let you draw your cross, but your burner shot blanks ♪
♪ When the East is in the house, you should come a-quit ♪
♪ Uh-oh, heads up, just what you're about to see ♪
♪ Fly like a jet, sting like a hornet ♪
♪ Knuckleheads get live and set it off if you want it ♪
♪ Dirty, rotten, scoundrels, just crushing fools ♪
♪ I promote the rap of this rhyme inventor ♪
♪ 'Cause I blow up spots like the World Trade Center ♪
♪ Come with this super duper on his assault mission ♪
♪ The tech's tech-me 'cause he's a technician ♪
♪ Wishing he'll go away won't help the weapons spot ♪
♪ Vince kills a shot 'cause any idiot can let off a glock ♪
♪ Hard rock smelling the clutch of the sun toucher ♪
♪ You claim you got beef on the streets, so what you ♪
♪ Gonna do when real n****s roll up on you ♪
♪ And you don't got your crew, cool, you're glocking ♪
♪ You were hard, you was webbed straight from the start ♪
♪ Bought a tool and didn't know how to use it ♪
♪ Got lost in Brooklyn, so you had to lose it ♪
♪ Just for frontin', you got that ass whacked ♪
♪ Uh-oh, heads up, just what you're about to see ♪
♪ Just what you're about to see ♪
♪ Just what, just what, just what, just what you're about to see ♪
♪ Just what, just what, just what, just what, just what you're about to see ♪
That was Jerry The Damager with "Come Clean."
Song was a little bit spooky, certainly eerie.
Are you guys ready for the ultimate time crisis tradition?
Rashid has done this once, Jeraud, you've never done this before.
Very excited.
This is when we go through the top five songs on iTunes.
Brow!
Hold on, I'll play the drop for you.
That wasn't it?
It's time for the top five on iTunes.
This is very exciting because now we've been listening to the same songs all summer.
Now it's finally a new season.
It's autumn, and I think we have just about a full list of new songs.
So we finally can traverse the pop cultural landscape in a new way.
So here's what we're going to do.
We're going to count down the top five songs.
We're just going to talk about them, talk about what they mean to us,
what they say about the cultural moment.
And the number five song is by a guy who's really been coming back hard this year.
He's a kid out of Canada called Justin Bieber, and this is his song, "What Do You Mean?"
I'm realizing I don't know how many of the top five I've heard.
That was Justin Bieber with "What Do You Mean?"
Love it.
You never heard that song before?
This is my first time listening to "What Do You Mean?"
What do you think?
It's not about closing time at a club or a bar.
And it's in reference to a very intoxicated girl.
Really?
That doesn't make sense.
I think that's what I interpret it.
Because I've said that.
What do you mean?
What are you saying to me right now?
Oh, you mean literally what are you saying?
Like a literal what do you mean?
What are the words that you're saying?
What words, what emotion are you trying to get?
I think just the situation is like, that's how I interpret it.
There's been a lot of talk about what that song is about.
Well, yeah, because some people have been offended by the song.
Their interpretation was that it's that classic, oh, like people can't accept the fact that no means no.
So he's trying to be like, wait, were you telling me that you want to make love or you don't want to make love?
What do you mean?
And you know, at a moment when everybody's kind of like, you know, no means no, Justin.
Some other people were saying that it's a consent song that like it's actually he's trying to ask for consent and doesn't want to do it until he gets consent.
Seems to search for clarity. Yeah.
And as we all know, if the answer to what do you mean is, then you don't have, then you say you do not have consent.
So nobody's having sex in the song is what you're saying.
One would hope. Well, he does say we make in love all day.
Wait, no, we argue all day, make in love all night.
Also, I mean, I don't know. I don't know.
I like to see it as a follow up to Kanye's Drunk and Hot Girls.
What do you mean? What are you saying? What are you saying?
I'm going to I'm going to go. Yeah.
As long as it ends with I'm going to go. Yeah.
Then we can be done. I'm going to go.
Yeah, I'm going to go. I can't.
I wake up early.
The next song is by an artist that I'm not familiar with, El King, but we have a little bit of background info on her.
She's an American singer, songwriter, actress and the daughter of comedian Rob Schneider.
Oh, and former model London King.
Well, Rob Schneider is old enough to have a daughter that has a single.
I mean, come on. Rob Schneider has been around for a long time.
And I mean, come on, Deuce Bigalow gets around.
All right. All right.
All right. Let's see. Let's check it out. El King, El Schneider King, X's and O's.
I have me a boy.
I'm in. I showed him all the things that he didn't understand.
And then I let him go.
Now, there's one in California.
I'm a.
To me, because I'm the best baby that they never got to keep one, two, three.
They're gonna run back to me.
They always want to come, but they never want to leave.
That was El King with X's and O's. X's as in X lovers.
OK. I like that song.
What are the O's for? I guess O's like the orgasms.
Sounds. Well, it's spelled O.H.
You get this. Those of X.
I wasn't going to not do that.
I was always going to have to do that.
I mean, I liked it. It's that sounded like Black Keys.
Yeah. Need some.
She's a cool, raspy country rock voice.
Unique voices are back, you guys.
Yeah, that's good. Are they?
I'd like. Well, I think a certain like Sylvan Esso and like.
OK. Maybe maybe unique voices are back.
Well, congrats to El King. Yeah.
And to Rob Schneider and London King.
Although, actually, I don't want to speculate on people's relationships with their family.
Let's forget the parents for a second. El King's is all about you.
Well done. You're in the iTunes top five.
Yeah. Number three, this song we've heard before.
Remember Drake? Yeah.
Drake with Hotline Bling.
You used to call me on my cell phone.
You used to. You used to. You used to. You used to.
You used to. Yeah. Yep.
You used to call me on my cell phone.
Late night when you need my love.
Call me on my cell phone.
Late night when you need my love.
And I know when that hotline bling.
That can only mean one thing.
I know when that hotline bling.
That can only mean one thing.
Ever since I left the city, you.
Got a reputation for yourself.
Everybody knows and I feel left out.
Girl, you got me down, you got me stressed out.
'Cause ever since I left the city, you.
Started wearing less and going out more.
Glasses of champagne out on the dance floor.
Hanging with some girls I never seen before.
You used to call me on my cell phone.
Okay, there's a lot to talk about here. Crazy.
'Cause, so first of all, Drake made a big push to get this song to number one.
It didn't happen.
And actually I was kind of moved by it because on Instagram, Drake said,
"I don't ask for a lot. I'm just a humble rapper from Canada.
But I've never had a number one song."
I mean, which is crazy.
Oh really? That's crazy.
He's never had a number one.
I mean, and this is a guy who is like the king of the charts.
Well, at any point he has number two through like 11.
Right.
So it's like he doesn't have number one, but he has the rest of the songs.
Right.
But it's meaningful to him.
It's symbolic. He never had number one.
He said, "Guys, it would mean so much to me if I could go number one.
I could taste that success just once in my life.
And it would especially mean a lot to me if it happened in October
because he calls all his stuff October's very own."
That's a tough break for Drake.
Yeah, that is.
Having a hard time feeling bad for Drake.
I'm trying, 'cause I love his music, but I'm having a very difficult time.
He's okay. He's all right.
We should start a Kickstarter or a GoFundMe.
I've never rebelled and then come around on an artist more than Drake.
Never rebelled harder.
You used to hate on Drake.
Well, yeah, 'cause it was like--
Well, he was introduced to me in a very specific way that I think was wrong.
Someone, my friend was like, "You got to listen to this new Drake dude.
He's like the Mill Lauryn Hill."
And I was like, "The Mill Lauryn Hill?"
And I rushed home.
And I was like, "All of it."
And then just because that's not how you should first hear Drake.
That's not who Drake is.
So I rebelled for like five years.
I was like, "No, no Drake."
And then I heard it and I was like, "Oh, yeah, I actually think I love all of his music."
I think Drake's done an amazing job of slowly but surely winning people over.
Yeah, he's a likable guy.
I mean, that's what happens over the course of a year.
You win people over and you alienate other people.
I cannot get enough Hotline Bling memes this week.
I can't. It's like--
Drake is the meme king.
He's so happy. They make me so happy.
Drake really gave the universe a gift with that video.
And you know what?
People are being amazing with it too.
Yeah, people are so creative.
I hope kids are getting scholarships off of some of it.
They're going to have the Hotline Bling scholarship.
Yeah, the Hotline Blingies.
There should be an award show for the Blingies.
There has to be a Blingies.
We have so many good ideas on this episode.
I know.
You guys are going to co-host the Blingies.
Yes.
And we're going to give out scholarships to people who made the best Hotline Bling memes.
Yes.
I vote the Star Wars one.
I saw it with the lightsaber.
That's amazing.
Can we find out who made the Star Wars meme?
The Star Wars Hotline Bling. Is it a vine?
Great question.
Yeah, I think it is a vine.
Sometimes it's hard to get to the bottom of who made a meme.
Anyway, Drake, we're sorry you didn't get that number one.
You deserve it.
But congratulations on literally everything else.
Two through 100.
Yeah.
If Drake doesn't have a number one before he retires from music, I'll eat my hat.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
You heard it here first, folks.
Strong words.
A lot of strong revelations.
Okay.
Number two on the top five.
Oh, looks like we got a repeat offender.
Justin Bieber saying sorry.
Oh, my.
You gotta go.
I'm getting angry at all of my honesty.
You know what?
But I don't do too well with apologies.
I hope I don't run out of time.
So I'm calling for me.
Because I just need one more shot.
I forgiveness.
I made those mistakes.
Maybe once or twice.
Once or twice.
I mean, maybe a couple of times.
So let me or let me redeem.
I redeem myself tonight.
I just need one more shot.
Second chance.
Is it too late now to say sorry?
'Cause I'm missing more than just your body.
Is it too late now to say sorry?
Yeah, I know that I let you down.
Is it too late to say sorry now?
That was Justin Bieber with "Sorry."
Holding it down at number five and number two slots.
That's his new, new song.
Justin Bieber, "Sorry."
It's got a bit of a Caribbean feel.
A bit of reggaeton.
It does.
Like, so actually, I think the big--
Everybody talks about Justin Bieber's comeback.
I think the big secret is that there's kind of a tropical flavor
running through all of his singles this summer.
He did a song with Diplo and Skrillex.
Obviously, their music--
Skrillex coming from dubstep and Diplo doing major lids.
Their music is very much influenced by the music of Jamaica.
"What Do You Mean" had kind of a tropical flavor.
This has a reggaeton beat, which is also Jamaican.
So I think the story that we're not hearing enough
is that Justin Bieber's the new king of dancehall.
I think the story that we're going to hear
is that Justin Bieber vacations a lot.
Right.
You're hearing the influence of vacations.
Right.
It's like, oh, yeah, because he spends more time
on various islands than most people.
Right.
You said there's something thematic, though, going on
with "What Do You Mean."
What's the first single of the summer?
It was "Where Are You Now?"
"Where Are You Now," what do you mean?
Sorry?
Like, something-- he's going through some changes.
Well, also remember, he's Canadian.
So we were talking before, what do you mean is what you say
to somebody who's really drunk and you don't understand them.
And then they say something else unintelligible,
and the Canadian person would say, sorry?
They say, sorry.
Sorry.
So they're actually not pronouncing the song wrong.
It's actually sorry.
Sorry.
(SINGING) It's OK to say sorry now.
Oh, that's how he sings it in Canada.
I would love it if he sang--
I feel like-- and I don't want to disrespect
any Canadian people.
I know that Canada is a big, beautiful country
with all sorts of different, exciting accents and dialects.
But sorry is one of those words-- and I'm sure people
think I say sorry in a funny way.
But sorry is one of those words that when an American person
impersonates a Canadian person, they always say, sorry.
Wait, do it.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Use it in a sentence.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry?
I'm so sorry.
Sorry.
I'm not saying it right, but it's like--
Yeah, now--
Out in a boat.
They say out in a boat.
A boat.
Yeah.
Let's get into the top song, the number one song.
This is somebody-- an artist we were talking about before.
She is the ruler of music right now in all senses of the word.
This is Adele with "Hello."
(SINGING) Hello.
It's me.
I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet,
to go over everything.
They say that time's supposed to heal you,
but I ain't done much healing.
Hello.
Can you hear me?
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be when
we were younger and free.
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet.
There's such a difference between us and a million miles.
Hello from the other side.
I must have called a thousand times to tell you I'm sorry
for everything that I've done.
But when I call, you never seem to be home.
Hello from the outside.
At least I can say that I've tried to tell you I'm sorry
for breaking your heart.
But it don't matter.
It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore.
Adele, "Hello."
What do you guys think?
It's fine.
It's a power ballad.
It reminds me a little bit of Meatloaf, actually.
Yeah, it's in that family.
I would do anything for love.
If you told me that Diane Warren wrote this song in her shower,
I would believe you.
It's got a little bit of that vibe.
Diane Warren in the shower.
Do you think about that?
I think about where she writes.
I think she has a dry erase board in the shower.
I think she cries when she writes music.
That's where she wrote, "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing."
It's still on the board a little bit.
Adele, "Hello."
Here's my theory about Adele, "Hello."
There's been talk about this song.
Most people are loving it.
A few people saying, "Oh, it's a little conservative."
I mean, somebody with an amazing voice just singing a deeply moving
power ballad.
Some people think it's conservative.
But there's something about her comeback in this moment when there's so much
competition to see who can be the most next level.
And then Adele comes back with a beautiful sepia tone, simple video,
old school power ballad.
And she's just kind of like, "You know what?
I'm not playing games.
I'm here to sing.
I'm here to move you emotionally.
And I'm not even going to have colors in my video.
I'm that focused on one thing, making you cry."
[laughter]
That wasn't even supposed to be a joke, actually.
That's true.
It was paced very well.
Oh, thank you.
Because she is--I think in her last album,
I remember her at an awards show doing "Someone Like You."
It was just a piano.
And you don't see that that often anymore.
So, yeah, it is--she is always like a great ode to simplicity.
Yeah, and that voice is, like, unbeatable.
And I think she was basically like, "Oh, really?
Everybody and your summer themes and your cute little, like, trendy--
check out my voice."
Have you cried this season?
[laughter]
You're listening to...
[tapping]
Time Crisis on Beats 1.
[funky music]
Well, that's a top five.
That's a pretty good top five.
It is.
I think.
Got some double beeps.
Feels also autumnal.
It was pretty autumnal.
It feels like things are changing.
Yeah, because--well, you know what's funny, though,
is that I feel like if--because this summer,
all we did was listen to--okay, "Cheerleader" definitely is a summer song.
Yeah.
But, like, "The Weekend," "I Can't Feel My Face,"
if that dropped right now--
It could be a fall song.
I--yeah.
I think "The Hills," though, is a summer song.
Yeah.
"The Hills" is more of a summer song.
Um...
So is "Fetty Wap."
I like Vince Giraldi for autumn.
Oh, like the Peanuts?
Yeah, yeah, like the Peanuts.
That's what I think autumn--
I just think Vince Giraldi first.
Do you--wait.
Oh, that's good.
But not--not--and then--
Not "Christmas Time."
Charlie Brown, "Christmas."
I think--I think--
[singing]
It's--he's more of--
when I think Charlie Brown, I think more Thanksgiving,
more autumn, more, like--
That's a really good--
That's actually a perfect autumn note.
Wait, like what?
Like the Grape Pumpkin Waltz?
Or Thanksgiving theme.
Is this what you're talking about?
Or the Thanksgiving theme.
[piano music]
Sounds like leaves falling.
So good.
Well, I like this.
Let's listen to this.
Here's Gerard's pick.
After all that pop music,
here's some nice Italian-American jazz.
Italian-American jazz?
[laughter]
Not a genre.
[laughter]
[piano music]
That was Lana Del Rey with video games.
Another beautiful song I associate with autumn.
That's one of my favorite songs of all time.
You know what guys, I just got hit up by one of my best Twitter friends.
I've never met him in person, but
he runs a great Twitter account called Seinfeld 2000.
You heard of it?
>> Yes, I have.
>> He imagined, he, all sorts of funny jokes about Seinfeld and
especially talks about what if Seinfeld was still on TV today.
And I said, hey man, why don't you call him to the show?
He seemed really excited, like he wanted to call him to the show.
And we've never really had a, a guest via the phone, so.
>> Oh, wow. >> We're gonna try this.
So so, Jerry, are you there?
>> Uncle Leo.
[LAUGH]
It's a reference to Seinfeld.
>> Oh, right, Uncle Leo was a character on Seinfeld.
Right, right, that's a, Seinfeld.
>> Yeah. >> Darn off with the bang.
[LAUGH]
>> It, sometimes George would call and
he was in a crisis type of situation.
And then Jerry is like sarcastically pretending that it's Uncle Leo.
But he knows who it is.
>> Right, he knows, he knows it's George.
Yeah, it was a very funny show.
>> Yeah.
>> So, so Jerry, we all know who you are, but I wanna explain to, to my guests who
might not be familiar with you or the Seinfeld 2000 account.
Your account started just because you, your big Seinfeld fan and
you like to imagine what would the show be like if it was still on air?
Is that correct?
>> Yeah, for sure.
Cuz like, okay, we all know that Seinfeld was canceled in 1998,
just cuz the ratings by the end were just like abysmal.
But, you know, we've had a lot of changes, like societally,
like there have been a lot of advancements.
There have been a lot of technological devices and
things that have come along that have changed how we operate
in many different ways.
And I just think it would be hilarious if you apply that to Seinfeld with
the characters that are so familiar.
Does that make sense?
>> What's an example for people at home who don't know the concept?
What do you mean?
Like, the characters but with modern advancement.
What's an example?
>> So like, for example, just like off the top of my head,
what if George gets really upset because Jerry doesn't favorite
the hotline bling meme that he spent all night making?
>> [LAUGH] >> Okay, right.
>> [LAUGH] >> You can see where I'm going with this,
right? >> Right,
like they'd probably use more internet stuff, right?
>> Yeah, I mean, I think you're simplifying it a little bit, but yeah.
>> Okay, sorry, I don't mean to oversimplify it.
I love the account, it's very fun.
>> Hey, check this one out.
>> Yeah, okay, let's hear it.
>> Elaine starts a mobile dating app like Tinder, but it's called Spongeworthy.
It's like spelled, like there are no vowels.
It looks like a series of consonants.
>> Okay, that's funny.
>> Yeah. >> Yeah, I like that,
cuz Spongeworthy was on the original series, and this is if you updated it.
Well, that's pretty cool, man.
>> Yeah, I mean, you don't need to patronize me.
>> I'm, no, I'm sorry, I don't mean to patronize you at all.
>> No, I like it.
>> It's a very funny account.
It's a lot of fun.
How was your Halloween, man?
>> Sure, Halloween was cool.
Halloween was cool, I guess you could say the whole neighborhood was buzzing
over my costume because I dressed up as Barry B.
Benson from Jerry Seinfeld's 2007 animated classic, Bee Movie.
You get it, so when I say buzzing, it's like a reference to, it's like a bee joke.
>> Right, right, yeah, I've never seen Bee Movie myself.
>> What?
>> I've never seen Bee Movie.
>> Why not?
>> I mean, I like Seinfeld the series.
I guess I wasn't that interested in seeing it, cuz it's for kids, right?
>> So as far as I'm concerned,
Bee Movie is kind of like the real finale of Seinfeld.
It's like an additional bonus episode.
>> Rashida, have you seen the Bee Movie?
>> I haven't, I'm sad to say.
>> Aren't you writing Toy Story?
>> Yep. >> Okay.
I don't know, it's important to do research, I guess, on animated films.
>> No, or not.
>> Just my opinion.
>> Or not. >> Or not.
>> Okay, Jerry, things are getting- >> I'm sorry.
>> We wanna talk about Seinfeld first and foremost.
I really appreciated that you wanted to call into the show.
You said you had some kind of announcement earlier.
What's that all about?
>> Yeah, are you guys sitting down?
>> Yeah, we're all sitting down.
>> Yeah, actually.
>> All right, this is too exciting.
Okay, Seinfeld- >> Yeah?
>> Is coming back to TV.
>> Do you mean they just did some big deal for the reruns?
>> No, you don't understand, though.
Jerry, Larry David, JLD, Jason Alexander, even Michael Richards,
have all signed on to do all new webisodes of Seinfeld coming back to TV.
Boom.
It's a Time Crisis exclusive.
You heard it here first only on Beats 1 from Apple Music.
>> Okay, this is obviously, you're doing a bit now,
cuz obviously Seinfeld's not coming back.
This is a joke.
>> Okay, do you think they would mess with you like this?
Do you think they would just come on your show and break the huge news?
>> If it wasn't true, dude, the details are scant.
But I have it on pretty good authority that it will be coming back.
>> Well, Jerry- >> And it's gonna be set in 2015.
>> Okay, Jerry, hold on a second.
What I love about Seinfeld 2000 is that we kind of understand the readers and
you, we understand that Seinfeld's not coming back.
That's what makes it funny.
>> Yeah, I know, and that was the past.
But I'm as blown away by it as you are, and I can understand your skepticism.
>> Okay, no, no, I gotta say you're making me a little bit uncomfortable.
Well, hold on, hold on.
This is my show, don't talk over me.
I'm sorry, my friend, but
you don't have any real information that Seinfeld's coming back on TV.
>> I do, yeah, I do, for sure.
I have it on good authority.
>> From who?
>> You're really putting me on the spot here?
I was like, I kinda promised, I wouldn't really-
>> You don't have it on good authority.
>> Like this is supposed to be like a- >> No, Seinfeld ended a long time ago and
it's not coming back.
>> Jerry told me.
>> Jerry did not tell, you don't know Jerry Seinfeld.
>> Jerry, no, but through Twitter, I'm friends with Jerry.
>> Okay, hold on, what you have is an obsession with Jerry Seinfeld, and
it's sick and it's deranged.
>> Listen, I have nothing but the utmost respect for you, Ezra.
But when I tell you Seinfeld is coming back, it is coming back, okay?
>> Please cut him.
Everybody who is listening at home, I'm sorry.
He truly has a disgusting obsession with Seinfeld, and
I wanna apologize to everybody who is listening at home.
>> A little weird.
>> That was crazy.
>> I'm sorry guys, cuz I know I vouch for this guy.
I have you on the show.
Gerard Rashid, I'm very sorry.
>> Yeah, it's fine. >> Yeah, I will put Seinfeld coming back in
that things I would hear about category, right?
>> That was the Easy Star All Stars with a reggae version of No Surprises from
a Jamaican cover album where they cover Radiohead's Okay Computer.
It's called Radio Dread.
I think we're about at the end of the show.
This has really been an eventful one, and I wanna thank Gerard Carmichael and
Rashida Jones so much for being here with me.
And I hope you'll come back now that you're part of the Time Crisis family.
>> Anytime.
>> Yeah, absolutely. >> I had a great time.
>> Everybody at home, thank you for listening.
Tune in in two weeks.
We'll be back with more Time Crisis.
To hear this show again, go to the Featured tab on the show page in Apple Music.
Every week I get tweets from people saying, how do I listen to this show?
So just open Apple Music on your phone, in iTunes, on your computer,
find the show page Time Crisis, and now you can go back and listen to episodes 1
through 8.
Remember, we'll be back in two weeks.
Next week is Pharrell's show Other Tone, and he's got Cara Delevingne and
street artist JR along with his buddy Scott Venner.
So check that out, and we'll be back in two weeks.
Thank you so much.
>> Time Crisis with Ezra King.
Beats 1.
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